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The next person that says “top priority” gets their fucking tongue cut out

Comments
  • 12
    Top Ten. Blocker. Critical!
  • 10
    I don't care what your working on, this is now critical!!
  • 11
    This needs to be done ASAP!!
  • 6
    @boombodies I need you to do this before you do anything else. It's highest priority.
  • 10
    I worked on a project once where a priority level of 1 meant the ticket was the highest priority. Then one day someone invented priority zero. I wish I was kidding.
  • 10
    Whenever I get more than one "critical" priority ticket assigned to me, I ask my manager, PM, scrum master, basically everyone with any authority over me, which one is the most important. If I don't get a clear answer, I keep asking until I get one. No matter how much it delays both tasks.
  • 5
    Yeah, I ask them to order the tasks. I can’t work on both at the same time. You choose which one I do first. I’ll await your decision and then start working on the ordered-first one.
  • 5
    @jonas-w are you sure you're not my last manager
    I swear each task he created on jira had "finish ASAP"
  • 3
    @fiftyhz that has zero priority than...
  • 1
    @hjk101 hahaha, I like it
  • 2
    @hjk101 I see what you did there

    @fishfork well “as possible” implies to me: “well, next month then is as soon, because well, it simply ain’t possible before that”
  • 3
    @fiftyhz I actually prefer lowest-first priority systems, as long as no one invents priority -1. They force managers/clients to gauge the importance of a task in contrast to all the other things that could come up.
  • 2
    top priority
  • 2
    @NemeXis 👅✂️
  • 4
    @NemeXis *misc sharpening noises*
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