729

My job is so f**king unbelievable.

I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:

First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless.
The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on make-up.
She is extremely self-centred and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself.
She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.

The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet.
Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10.
I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts.
I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store she moans like a cat in heat.

But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the fucking stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead.
In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work.
He probably hasn't been sober any time in the last ten years, and he's only 22.
He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big f**king dog to work.
Every f**king day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke.
Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing.
Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonald's and Burger King, every single f**king day.

Anyway, I drive these dicks around in my van and we solve mysteries and s**t.

Comments
  • 76
    I was about to go in on you about talking about your colleagues in such a horrible way haha. Absolutely outstanding.
  • 40
    Damn this got me by surprise xD
  • 29
    Half way through I - - your post and was about to rant on it when I finished reading. Instantly changed it to ++, nice one! 😁
  • 7
    Hahah you got me good. Well played.
  • 1
    Maybe I should have started the !rant with 'joke' lol
  • 13
  • 3
  • 4
    Nice one Fred
  • 4
    Oh my word. This is freaking hilarious. Got me good. THANKS FOR SHARING! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
  • 2
    I was ready to make a joke that you seem to work with mystery Inc when I read great dane! Dammit!
  • 1
    I was about to rant about you, then I saw the end πŸ˜‚ well played buddy
  • 1
    @danner26 maybe I should have started it with 'this is a joke' lol :p
  • 2
    Shit just got real! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
  • 3
    Funniest shit i have read today. Kudos
  • 2
    Just made my day..
  • 5
    You sound like a real asshole, Fred.
  • 5
    Well you're the jerk wearing the neckerchief
  • 3
    damn, beside coding you also good at write like a creative writer. πŸ˜‚
  • 2
    well played dude... πŸ˜€
  • 1
    nice one
  • 2
    I read this post, didn't understand and went back to the feed.. Then sudden realization occurred and I came to ++ it πŸ˜…πŸ˜‚
  • 3
    Sorry to hear about your situation, Fred.
  • 1
    Thank you for this one πŸ˜„
  • 1
    Where is this a reference from?
  • 2
    @Larsg310 Scooby doo
  • 2
    sorry to raid on everybody's parade, but this is in reddits top 10 or maybe 20 posts of all time... from 2009

    can't believe nobody nobody noticed it

    https://reddit.com/r/funny/...

    I wouldn't have said anything if linked, or even just modified so "the gang" were all devs or something, by this looks like a straight copypasta πŸ‘Ž
  • 1
    @rozzzly of course it's a copy/paste but who wants to follow a link.

    I didn't post it to make everyone think I wrote it!
  • 0
    I'll be sure to ignore anything you post from now on
  • 6
    @bluescreen thanks for posting, I don't give a shit that it's copy and paste, it brightened my day up. If it were a link I guess I wouldn't have followed it. Keep racking up the ++'s.
  • 1
    @rozzzly please do, I noticed that you haven't posted a rant yet only commented on others .... Maybe you should post one !
  • 0
    @helloworld thanks, I knew it was an old one but a friend sent it and I had to post it πŸ˜„
  • 3
    Didn't know we had to add a source to our jokes and images.
  • 2
    @donkeyScript me neither lol difficult to add a link to an email that I got from an old friend and I'm certainly not crawling the web for a link just in case it existed else where !!
  • 3
    @donkeyScript you don't. it's nice to somewhere at the end, but you don't as long as you don't claim the content as your own. and @rozzzly stop getting your underwear in a knot. he didn't claim it as his own, he just reposted it. and you have a lot of other people to yell at on this app, because theres a lot of reposts without links. so get to work, you have a lot ahead of you
  • 2
    oh and @rozzzly if he changed it, it wouldn't be nearly as great as it if. so again, stop ranting about nothing
  • 2
    @danner26 seems like @rozzzly likes to comment but not actually post

    Do we have ourselves a devRant troll ??!!
  • 2
    @bluescreen we might actually, hopefully he won't last if so ;)
  • 4
    @rozzzly calling us out!!! It's not like I'm denying the copy and paste ffs

    Grow up dude 😎✌️and stop being an (_!_)
  • 1
    Hahaha this was a good one.
  • 1
    The punchline here will send you to the hospital πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚,
  • 0
    @faheel

    He describes the Scooby Doo team.
  • 0
    This is brilliant!
  • 0
    Oh that got me! Made me rethink all those hours of watching Scooby-Doo!
  • 1
    Best storie of my day
  • 0
    Am I on /b/?
  • 0
    Sounds fun how do I apply?
  • 0
    ruh roh
Add Comment