We need to get Linus Torvalds ranting in here, his rants are legendary

Coding while drunk currently in the middle of the fucking day, hopefully I wont regret this tomorrow? Who am i kidding I'm writing brilliant code i should code drunk more often

I am reading the code I wrote yesterday when i was drunk out of my mind

Don't you hate it when your testers file an issue under the mobile app project for bugs in the web app, because they happen to be using the web app on their mobile phone browsers and suddenly its the mobile app dev's fault?

Be clear, not clever.

ah this fucking sucks my boss, who is also the guy developing back end for our mobile app which im developing, isnt working on the back end makes me guess the fucking json strings that hes going to send and buils the front end, then later changes the fucking json structure completely and expects my app to work without any problems, how do you teach these fucking php developers the importance and significance of data types and data structures

I have an EXAM tomorrow and my motherboard wont even post to BIOS

The incredible annoyance of fixing a bug but not knowing why the fix actually worked!!

My first interview was the interview where I cheated and got the job, it was an on campus job interview. I did not have a good gpa, (to be honest it was really bad i was below the 25th percentile)

Anyway this was the only (developer) job interview I knew I could qualify for, I was pretty sure that if I couldn't nail this one then I could kiss my dream of programming professionally good bye.

We were about 25 kids sitting in a class room with a pencil and couple of sheets of paper and the the interview panel walked between the seats looking at what we wrote.

So, when I couldn't write an algorithm for the problem of square rooting a number n. I panicked (was literally shivering with tears rolling down my cheeks, thankfully nobody saw me as i was on the last bench) I gave up, wiped my tears and stared at the board, a panel member saw me and told me to leave after looking at my paper. This was the moment my mind decided (not me but someone else inside me) that I have to do whatever it took, so just when I was stepping out and grabbed my bag i quickly opened the browser of my phone inside the bag typed square root algorithm opened the first result and read the words arrive at the answer by binary search, ass soon as I read that my mind worked at a pace that it has never managed ever since that time, and i knew the solution in a matter of seconds, i dropped my bag when to one of the more sympathetic panel members and explained the whole thing to him on the spot, he was impressed, and he asked me how this algorithm can be extended for the nth root(which is really simple once you have the algorithm for square root) and i blurted it out instantly which impressed him even more and offered me the job on the spot and told me to attend the next 2 rounds as a formality.

Thus i saved myself for a world of hurt and now I am a developer who thinks back to that day every time I need a boost of morale

Dependency hell - when you have a package you want to update and then you find out 3 other things depend on that version of that dependency and then your pretty much screwed so you just leave the original version of the package you were trying to update in place.

my boss doesn't believe in AGILE-SCRUM, hence android and back end is always out of sync and I always end up having to rewrite the code in order make it compatible with the back end, even though i have to post a new binary to the app store and play store not to mention get the users to actually update the damn app. How do I get my boss to adapt SCRUM?

Live code is too expensive! But I really want to try it out.

I tend to bite my nails when concentrating on my code, therefore I am unable to maintain finger nails properly. How does one get rid of this abominable habit

Not stress with code but with people. Keep on chasing me for the work to be done within their "estimated" time.

how do you get your employer to provide you with hardware you need for smooth dev environment like a second monitor?