A tourist went into a pet store. As he looked around, a customer came into the store and said to the salesman, "I'd like an Excel monkey!"

The salesman nodded, went over to a cage and pulled out a monkey. He put a leash on the monkey, handed it over to the customer and said: "That's 3,000 euros." The customer paid and left the shop.

Surprised, the tourist went to the seller and said: "But that was a very expensive monkey. Why does it cost so much?" "The monkey can program Excel - very fast, little effort, no mistakes and very cheap!"

The tourist looked at another monkey in a cage. "This one is even more expensive, it costs 5,000 euros. What can he do?" "Oh, this is a web monkey! He masters the design of websites, can program, present and all this useful stuff," said the seller.

The tourist looked around for a while and saw a third monkey in a cage. The price hung on his neck: 25,000 euros. He ran to the seller in astonishment and said: "This one costs more than all the others combined! What the hell can he do?" The salesman replied: "Well, I've never seen him do anything useful, but the other monkeys call him Manager!"

It was my first time in Berlin. I came as a tourist but started looking for a workplace, with hopes of getting a blue card and continuing work.

I searched online, going through some hiring platforms, and sent out a few messages around. I felt a special connection (I thought I was exactly who they needed), and wrote them a carefully crafted letter of intention alongside my lavish CV.
They got back to me, and I was given this task, to do while at home. I completed it, had a phone interview, and was invited on-site for a face to face interview. Everybody felt warm, I felt a connection. We already talked salary expectations, and all was going great.

They told me they'd get back to me for the next stage. ...
and they actually DID. Yes, they did!
They invited me for a second interview, but this time to prepare a technical topic to present. So I did. I picked one of the 3 topics they offered, which was about performance optimization. I had recently read materials about that, so I felt really empowered.
So far nobody told me what I was supposed to be doing at the new job, I only knew the technologies required, and what the company did for money.
I prepared a thorough presentation, with practical demos of why some things are bad for performance. While I was showing it, many people in the room were learning about this for the first time, which means I did good. The team lead had some extra questions that I wasn't able to answer in full (needed some research), but otherwise it was great.

The CTO then asked me out to lunch, to talk over some more stuff, and we had a general discussion about what drives us, our life story, etc. He said that he'd really like me to be part of the team, and that he's looking forward to working with me.

So I've been at it for almost a month. I've met everyone, got acquainted with the team, knew the biography of some of them, proven my worth, etc. I was ensured with body language, and verbal language that everything was going great. As careful as I was with this kind of stuff, I was positive that I'd get the job. I even started planning my trips, to get the documents ready.

And then I got a message stating the usual stuff "Thank you bla bla bla we don't think we'll need your services". I was shocked, but in good faith I wanted to reply something along the lines "I'm sorry it didn't work out, all the best in finding what you're looking for", but I found out that I was blocked from contacting them.

That's right. Rejected + blocked. After a month of fucking foreplay. I get rejection, even though it hurts. But being blocked?! That's just insane!

I worked once in a company which had this tourist app which should show places on map of the city. Unfortunately it slowed the App down to load more then a couple of places. Their solution was to limit the number of loaded places to teb and prohibited zomming out. I made it handle thousands of places at the same time. Main reason for the Performance issue was, that they sent all data they had about places big, big json objects with large text blobs) to the frontend. This part was easy, I instead sent only the data needed for the map like coordinates and icon type obviously. But still the backend struggeled hard with many objects from the DB, because they built a really shitty orm or what ever this was supposed to be: every line of data retrieved from the DB was immideatly wrapped in some class wich direved from another class which had some magic methods in it which caused some absurd loops over all other obejcts and even more DB queries in unexpected moments and also in the fucking constructor. So it turrned out that the map issue was only the top of the iceberg, since using any data from the DB was extremely expensive. The hard part was to understand the insaness of this abnormination and find the bottlenecks.

So, I accidentally hit a tourist near the bus stop. He shouted something in french in anger. A guy near told me he is abusing.

In anger, I shouted , " printf bi*ch" ..

Finding a girl on Tinder probably looks like an opposite of Venn diagram... set A consists of girls that don't have weird names(meaning they are not from one of the neighbouring countries or just a tourist in my country) and aren't ugly(I know what they say about not judging a book by its cover but sometimes I don't know if I am looking at a human or a sea monster) and the set B consists of girls that consider me or my "about" text interesting... these sets have no intersection

Does anybody here had an opportunity to chat with Gennady Korotkevich a.k.a the tourist?

!#/bin/suggestions
Anyone in Philadelphia know good places that aren't tourist like places?