Me watching Bitcoin price and regretting not investing in it

If EA had developed their own Programming Language:
Iteration DLC ~20€
Condition DLC ~15€
Connectivity DLC ~12,99€
Gold Edition ~120€

Quick'n'dirty devrant filter for tampermonkey (frontpage, comments, mentions in comments, notifs), since there's no block/ignore function, bye to whoever lands on that 👋

Just bought:
Ryzen 7 1700x, ASUS PRIME X370-PRO, 16GB RAM and a Noctua NH-D15 SE.
€610 total

Developer in a nutshell

!dev
So yesterday my math teacher gave us a worksheet with a few problems on it. The answers would lead to solving a puzzle. Because the class is so easy and the worksheet was really just busy work, I solved it like a substitution cipher!
Teacher was pissed.

If you somehow managed to install Mac OS on a raspberry Pi, does that make it an Apple Pi?

I'm sorry, I'll leave now...

Dev of my team coding on Idea

Seeing him using space-bar to format copy pasted lines of code

Me: why don't you use ctrl+l shortcut?

Him: I don't use shortcuts while coding

Me: at least use the tab

him: nope.

He formatted 3000 lines of code with space-bar. He's not even using notepad. 😐

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.

Agency: " Sir, we found 3 candidates as per your requirements, now how do you want their placements sir?"

M.D: "Put about 100 bricks in a closed room. Then send the candidates into the room & close the door, leave them alone & come back after a few hours and analyse the situation:-

1) If they are counting the bricks, Put them in Accounts deptt.

2) If they are re-counting the bricks, Put them in Auditing.

3) If they have messed up the whole room with the bricks, Put them in Engineering.

4) If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order, Put them in Planning.

5) If they are throwing the bricks at each other, Put them in Operations.

6) If they are sleeping, Put them in Security.

7) If they have broken the bricks into pieces, Put them in Information Technology.

8) If they are sitting idle, Put them in Human Resources.

9) If they say they have tried different combinations yet not a single brick has been moved, Put them in Sales.

10) If they have already left for the day, Put them in Marketing.

11) If they are staring out of the window, Put them in Strategic Planning.

And.......

12) If they are talking to each other and not a single brick has been touched, Congratulate them and put them in Top Management.

😂🤣😃😁😅😜

welcome to hogwarts

A friend asked if I could take a look at the function, which he wrote, to see if two trees are equal.

The chat conversation:

F: I sent code.
Me: *put eye on "flag and && true"
F: Hey?
F: You are there?
F: All right?!

A few hours later...

Me: Each time this function is executed, a programmer dies. Goodbye.

And so it's over.

Started at a new job and found this hilarious piece of code

Have to upgrade Android app that connects to Bluetooth device and reads data.

I found the app creates new thread every line read from the device's Bluetooth stream, then reuses 1 object for every reading to store the state of the device in Jsonarray, then every thread creates a new thread to upload the data on cloud. Oh, I almost forget that is all working in one UI sctivity, and the same thread that parse the data updates the UI.

Deadline is next Monday and I don't know where to start editing my shit to place MY shit.

Fuck me I guess?

Me: yo DEV2 parse this string into a hashmap. Use regex, 2 rows of code are enough for the job
DEV2: implemented 40 rows of switch/if cases into nested for loop.

Please kill me 🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🇮🇹