I'm lacking a rubber duck at my office. I asked for one, but the company won't buy one. Instead they offered me a 1m x 1m sheet of bubble wrap, which they replace every day. Love my new place.

Why😂😂😂😂

So I "grade" homework for programming 1 students...
Task was to produce an output like:
1
1 2
1 2 3
1 2 3 4
1 2 3 4 5

...and this was committed!
I really had to hold back laughter...
This looks purposefully obfuscated...

When you are waiting for community to help you resolve the issue

My professor( 2 yrs ago) : Why r u wasting ur time on Python. Learn Java or .net , u will get a good job.

Now she asked me for python tutorials cause she needs it for her PHd. 😂😂😂

Found this gem in a popular online tutorial.

1. Search on google for an answer
2. Find someone asking the same question on some forum
3. See the question has an answer
4. The answer is "Please search yourself before asking. Thread locked."

This happens too often..

The only plant that survives my office.

Tonight, I had the pleasure of being challenged to make a virus for a VM over at the awesome "virus aquarium": computernewb.com

I present to you the Eevee fork/bomb.
Tonight, was the first night where I've ever sat down and programmed in VBS. I had a lot of fun doing it too. Right now I'm aiming at corrupting taskkill, tskill, and shutdown for good measure. These are a few of the things that my buddy has pulled on me that has made it difficult for me to continue moving forward.

The other part is to create seperate .exe files that would run my the necessary script. Each of these .exe files will be unique such that it's more difficult to shut all of them down at once.

Despite the fact that this thing will quite literally break your computer, it's fun being challenged to think outside of the box. Quite literally. I've always been careful about what things I touched on a PC, but tonight was fun because I was basically unchained and allowed to run rampant.

As a computer geek I think it's good to let out your inner demon and see what havoc one could wreak.

Just an observation. Researched this a bit and found out that usually people only thank dfox when posting swag thanks posts.

Just wanted to demand some justice for mr trogus who is the designer of said swag and give due appreciation!

Lets @trogus some to deliver the appreciation.

Been awake for like 18 hours.
Ok one last push to gitlab.
*Gitlab offline* welp, guess ill do that later, time for some sleep.
*Reads their status on twitter about data loss* (panic)

FUCK

*sigh*

Sun is shining too bright. I had to switch to a light theme 😭

You say they are looking for me, but when i contact them they pretend like they dont even know me.

Every time I hear a developer say "works for me", I'm gonna hide a service of mine that they use behind the VPN.

Dev: "oy mate, this server is down"
Me (with VPN connection): "sorry mate, works for me"
Dev: "but here, check this out, it's down!!"
Me: "mate, check your network connection. You must have a shitty network connection."
Dev: -_-
Me: "Maybe shitty hardware? Driver issues on your network card? 🤭"

Because you know, we sysadmins can do that too 😉

Programming is a bit like a partner or is to me:
It helps me
It annoys me
I love it
I hate it
Drives me insane
Bores me to death
Excites me beyond belief
Makes me feel dumb
Makes me feel clever
Supports me
Confuses me
Some days it's beautiful
Some days it's unattractive

But going to be together for a long time through all the ups and downs.

When you can't take part in the new avatar shirts (or any avatar swag for that matter) because you mostly lurk and hardly ever rant...

So my stickers arrived the other day and I gave them a little ride 🙂

Finally, I bought laptop for my devRant stickers!

GUYS WE HAVE BEEN WRITING FOR LOOPS IN JAVA WRONG THE WHOLE TIME. Here is how it should be done correctly...
int i = 0;
for(;(i<10) ? true : false;)
{
i++;
System.out.println(i);
}

Jokes aside though does anyone have any more horrid ways to write this?

Well. My life is over. I got punchy and accidentally deleted a client’s entire site. Backups and all. Wasn’t paying attention to which specific delete feature I was using and POOF. It’s all gone.

The worst part? I was actually just trying to delete a staging site where I was trying out some stuff to try to win a site redesign contract. Now it looks like I’ll be paying THEM for damages and/or building them a new site for FREE.

I’m so done.

That moment when you go blind because you have been coding in Dark Mode for hours and you just switched to something white!

A young man was walking along in the forest, when he heard a muffled voice crying for help from behind a log. He leaned over to see a frog sitting in the mud.

The frog looked up at him and said, "I'm actually a beautiful princess, and if you kiss me, I'll transform back into my true self, and be yours for eternity."

Silently, the man scooped up the frog and continued on his walk.

A minute or two later, the frog piped up again, "Hey, buddy, maybe you didn't hear me -- I said, if you kiss me, I'll turn into a princess. What are you waiting for?"

Annoyed, the man stuffed the frog into his coat pocket.

Shocked, the frog yelled from inside the man's pocket, "What the hell? I'm a princess! All you have to do is kiss me!"

Opening his pocket and peering in, the man said, "Listen -- I'm a software engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend. But a talking frog is kind of cool."

Get videos for main page

So my girlfriend was complaining about the lights late night. As a regular dev I code until about 2am in the morning.
So here I present the ultimate dark theme. Darkroom red. No additional light source required, just your monitor(s).

Ten hours of making a fully responsive website for a gf's university class in only pure HTML and CSS made me realize how much I take frameworks for granted.

CURSE YOU DEVRANT!
You made me late for work again
:-(

It's a shame that Adobe doesn't support Linux for their creative suit. I know lots of artists and designers that don't use Linux regularly because of this, since Photoshop and illustrator are the de facto tools for their work. Adobe xd seems to be awesome, but I can't use on my pc due the lack of support -.-

"I can't work, my new computer is so slow. Please make it faster!"

I can't and won't make your computer faster, because you bought it yourself eventhough you said I should send you an estimate for a new one.
And the fucking software you complain about being slow is none of ours and neither did we install it you crackhead.
By the hammer of Thor, don't ever fucking call me again you shitpiece!
Next time you ask me for an estimate, I will give you my stump two-sided axe through your head while laughing hysterically.

Well fuck me in the ass and call me Charlie.

I just had to bare witness to 2 years worth of files being deleted due to a minor.. well.. minor in the sense of not checking for an empty string, but massive fucking bug.

Thank all the gods of all the religions for backups!!

TL;DR
Management eats shit for breakfast

Context:
I am the sole Dev on a project.

Stack: Postgresql, redis, nginx,Java with Spring Boot, Neo4j.

I am the only one nearly familiar with : Redis, Neo4j and anything Java.

I'm gonna be on vacation for the next 15 days since they have told me that we where gonna be on a "testing/feedback" period.

My vacation was approved.

Today's meeting: we have a URGENT deadline to meet some criteria that might be the difference between have further investment or not.

Urgent deadline: last day of my vacation.

My face: poker

My thoughts: attached image

Big "company summit" this week where everyone flies in and we discuss the future of the company (sadly not over drinks). I might be getting promoted with stock and pay increase, and allowed to hire another dev.

Yet, here I am, updating and sending out my resume, and hoping for something, anything.

A 30% raise wouldn't be enough to deal with all of this madness.

I'm looking for a new job.
If anyone is hiring remotely or knows of somewhere that is, could you please let me know? 😊

(I'll be looking locally as well.)

Stack:
• Ruby+Rails
• Node
• Postgres/etc.
• React
• Angular 1.x
• Sass/Less
• MaterialUI, Susy

Timezone: GMT-7

Credit: thecrazyprogrammer

For love i

for( ; ; )
System.out.println("Dormammu, I've come to bargain");

Who the fuck had the idea to deliver the driver for an external optical drive on a DVD?!

Hell no!

What the fuck!!!!!

Never thought I'd have to rant so soon joining my new org.

Guess the honeymoon phase is over earlier than I anticipated.

1. This company is awesome and employee friendly. They made me kickass deal which I couldn't refuse. However, upon checking glassdoor, I realised they still managed to low ball me. Lol.

But I have no complaints and I am pretty happy with whatever they are offering as of now. My next point is the primary reason I disabled my app blocker to rant out.

2. A junior is leaving and so is my lead. Damn! Fuckkkkkk!!! My lead is super awesome. There's so much dependent on her.

Entire organisation is watching the product line she and I am working on. It's the heart of the entire product.

It's just been a month I joined and so much responsibility on me already. Well, I am not fearing that.

What I am afraid of and rather uncomfortable with is that they are going to hire someone else in a different time zone who'll lead this entire thing and they might map me under that new person who'll be a senior level executive.

Fuck that shit. I don't want to leave my current manager for she is awesome too. With departure of my lead, it's just me and my manager that are left in the team.

I am not sure what the future will be but I know that there are lot of learnings coming my way.

One thing I wish for is that they relocate me for short or mid term to UK or EU. Then a lot of things will be solved for me.

For now, I am just keeping my head low and doing what best I can, which is focusing on work.

Hope they promote me with an amazing salary hike.

Yesterday my my mother had problems with Office365 and called a servicedesk. They said her computer was slow and that an SD could improve the speed. My mother said that there already was an SSD in there to which he replied yes but that is for RAM, to make opening things faster you need an SD like in your phone...

Where is the world going?

Unpopular opinion: I like JavaScript.

When you accidentally start visual studio, and have to wait an eternity for it to load so you can close it..

Meanwhile for loop in the stadium

You know you're fucked when even the lead dev can't think of a decent solution for your problem which is...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
... the most difficult challenge devs have ever faced:
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
What should be the name of the github repo for the new module?

"Today my girlfriend gifted me new words"
"hurrah, new things to learn"
"Now I'm waiting for the next new words, I hope they will be as exciting as the last ones"

You couldn't be more right.

Ich liebe dich so sehr~ <3

Welp, guess I'll just wait for the mandrill-really-maintained-for-real package.

During the weekdays I code for a paycheck. On the weekends I code for fun :)

So... um... I'm a real asshole... but this website where I'm applying for a job doesn't check how many digits should be entered for their GPA field.

At first, I wanted to see if I could put in the pi symbol (π). That didn't work.

So, then I added 10 digits of π into the field. When I saw that it had accepted that many numbers, I grew curious and wondered how many numbers can I fit in here.

I added 100, then 1000, then a million.

Sooooo, do you guise think I'll get the job?

I don't get it, really...
A web agency in my city published an ad on a jobs listing website; they search a php programmer who knows about magento. On their website, in the "contact us" page, they say that they are looking for:
- a graphic designer
- junior php dev
- magento dev

I sent my cv; they call me back for an interview.
This morning i went there for the interview; when the interview ended the guy just said to me "well, we don't have any open position at this moment. We make interviews from time to time, just in case in the future we may need help".

Ok. Now 2 things come to my mind:
1- i need a job now; if 3 months from now you call me cause you REALLY need a php dev, i will probably (hopefully) already have another job
2- FFS i lost 2 hours for you: 50 minutes of traffic going, 20 minutes interview and another 50 minutes of traffic going back home...

Just why?

This is our after meeting first aid kit.

FUCK OFF, YOU FUCKING USELESS PILES OF CRAP

WHY THE FUCK CAN'T COMPANIES JUST TEST THEIR FUCKING APPS FOR ONCE?!?

LINKEDIN GOES INTO A FUCKING CAPTCHA LOOP

SNAPCHAT/INSTAGRAM ARE AS SLOW AND ATTRACTIVE AS A SLIGHTLY RUNNY SHIT

ROCKSTAR IS FULL OF MONGS WHO DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE A WORKING FUCKING GAME

GOOGLE IS FULL OF PERVERTED FUCKERS WHO TRACK YOU EVERYTIME YOU LOOK UP A FUCKING RECIPE.

FUCK THIS WORLD, WHY THE FUCK CAN'T BIG COMPANIES JUST MAKE SOFTWARE WITH THE USERS IN FUCKING MIND?!?!?

FUCK ME, I'M ANGRY

Countless times. Here is two:
- when he said he prefers an external hdd over git
- when he said that git is just a shiny new thing, we young devs use just because it's new
- etc

Love for i

Today I learned that there is a person who exists, called Logan Paul, who doesn't do anything, but is enormously famous, presumably, for being famous. None of the hundreds of people I follow on twitter follow him, which I find reassuring.

You know it's 2016 when you have to download a package manager to download a package manager to... :S

There are a shitload of them.

just started an AI project (yes I know, very descriptive). should i have 20 nested for loops???

I have my laptop for almost two years now. I've never dropped it once, even though I carry it a lot. So I decided to buy a plastic case this Monday. Just in case.

It's Saturday and I dropped it 3 times already. Shit. --> Never buy a case for your laptop.
/**
* It did it's job though.
* No damage on the device,
* just on the case
*/

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
I HAVE A TEST TOMORROW AT 8 AM AND I'VE BEEN TRYING TO SLEEP SINCE 12.30 AM. IT'S 6 AM ALREADY, 6 AM!

I guess when they no screens before sleeping they really mean it. I'm fucked, I'm really fucked. I guess I'll stare the ceiling until the alam goes off and accept an awful day and hope I get pumped up during the test or something. Fuck me. I want to fucking SLEEP. Fuck.

I just wanted to install vivaldi before sleeping and watch the last rick and morty episode. Does that fucking make me a fucking night owl? No. I could've use these precious time learning or writing code, or even sleeping, but fuck! I'm stuck here in time, just waiting for fucks sake!

Good night...
OR That's what I WOULD say if I could sleep...

Gradle Build Running

Internet explorer: Microsoft acquire github!

Stougles of a developer whose native language is not English.

1 ANSI keyboard for dev
1 local ISO qertz keyboard for everything else with weird characters

Wrote for-loop without learning it in school-lesson.

Teacher says I have a gift...

I wonder how much of my life I have spent waiting for 'npm install'

Finally got fucked off with windows crashing.
Tra bitch.

So I finished uni three weeks ago. Interview for a my first junior web developer position a week ago.

Received news yesterday that I got the job. It’s been a good couple weeks I’d say.

It came to me, a brilliant idea, a simple solution to an everyday problem and easy route to market. Great, starts looking for domains and writes down idea in full in case i forget. Later that day, picks up 12 year old son from school, tells him my great idea. He told me how shit it was and why straight away.

The bible has arrived

I wouldn't say worst, becaues I enjoyed it, but it was definitely the most expensive one. Our team is spread across the EU, then the manager said "Fuck skype. Let's have a meeting in Germany."

Me helping out a fellow Software engineering student:

Me: OK, now open program X.

He: * Opens the compressed file and runs it from there *

It takes a good two minutes for all of the resources to be extracted.

Me: * Gives more instructions *

Me: We are going to have to restart program X.

He: * Closes X and runs again from inside de .rar file *

Another two minutes.

Me: * stares *

WebDev jobs should come with big warning signs:
"You absolutely will lose your sanity!"
"IE11 might indirectly lead to impotence!"
"You won't get laid more often by using CSS Grid!"
"You will have to fix websites which only appear broken on iOS Safari!"
"Get some extra terabytes ready for your node modules!"
"Get ready to yarnify your npm dockerized webassembly blobs while gulping on your mocha chai latte with no karma!"

Can't we just go back to the good old times with Quick Basic and chill?
Man, the ladies were flocking around those programmer boyz, I tell ya... Klickety klackety on the mechanical

Hey team.
Its time for an update...
Quick question: Best laptops for devs in your opinion?

Well then 😂

TRUNCATE TABLE transactions;

Fuck! Wrong DB...

After three hours of emailing with a customer I can confirm that programmers are the worst customers.
Customer: We've found a bug in the system... <details>
Me: Thank you for letting us know, a ticket has been created and the issue is most likely to be fixed in the next release.
Customer: Please grant me UPDATE privileges in the live(!) database so I can fix it myself
Me: I cannot allow that. You have to use the client software for maintaining your data.
Customer: No, I don't want to spend my day clicking. I want to write queries.

We didn't reply to the last one yet...
If we give him access, then I would charge them at least 3x for fixing issues caused by him.

I can't let my little plant die in the dark.

!rant

So much for building beautiful projects...

Everyday I change all of my colleague's i++ in ++i in for loops, and he changes my ++i in i++. This goes on forever...

I hate when a software update changelog looks like this:

The latest update is now available, update your software to get the most out of it.

I want a fucking changelog before updating my things. Like: fixed a bug, new button with cool new feature. Just something. I have to know. Can't just install something blindly that could ruin my software, especially when it's not reversible..

Me: yo DEV2 parse this string into a hashmap. Use regex, 2 rows of code are enough for the job
DEV2: implemented 40 rows of switch/if cases into nested for loop.

Please kill me 🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🇮🇹

After two days of trying to learn Xamarin for Android I realized something... I really hate designing UI

Is it just me or headphones and good music is a must for coding?

Have any one used Skype for business, It seems to me it has down syndrome.
They cant just make a simple think work.

I was having my after lunch coffee +reading devRant. I saw a rant about MySQL ("MySQL server has gone away" error).
It's spreading and no one can stop it!

Here is a brief list:
- Idiots from marketing
- idiots from sales
- the lawnmower man (while doing his job)
- sun
- AC off && summer
- no ventilation / fresh air
- civil defense siren tests (we're just next to one...)
- idiots talking to me while I'm on my headphone
- music stops
- phone rings
- light theme
- devRant
- MySql Workbench
- etc

Haha really clients make me laugh!

Yes you can have your website with all the bells and whistles, but sorry it costs money.

Do these people think we live on fresh air, while the reep the rewards for all the hard work we have done for them.

The problem today is everyone wants everything for nothing. 🤔

Ok. FUCK MySQL Workbench.
Most of our products built on MySQL and we just had enough of the tools that we are using for our mysql databases...
We decided to make our own tool :)

If it goes well, we plan to open source it. Would you guys be interested in it?
We planned the following features:
1. Schema editing
2. Schema versioning
3. Update/downgrade script generation to move easily between schema versions
4. Manual/auto sync
5. Might include our own replication solution too...

What do you think?

Just connect to the WiFi they said.
LOL

I really dont understand the hate for Java, people specially showing on devRant. Java is such a beautiful language. Im ready to take on the negatives if Java loses. Java lovers can put ++ and hater can hit --. Let's see the results at the end of the week.

I found this gem today.
It perfectly generated ~5 GBs of useless log in the past 2 years.

People who reuse variables.
Yeah, sure, let's just go declare
number1 = g * 86;
Oh and 10 lines down let's reset it
number1 = 0;
I WILL FIND YOU. I WILL DESTROY YOUR SMALL RAM 'ed THING YOU CALL YOUR COMPUTER.
Variables should be made for one purpose and one purpose only.

Anyone else develop distain for a recruiter when they ask for your current salary?

This is a little pig I and my grandma made out of black goo and mom's nail polish (I don't know English very well) for Arts. Would suit every client.

14 days till silvester, I look forward to see "dinner for one" again

If I made £1 for every new JavaScript framework that came out, i would never need to work again.

So I lost another one of those charger adaptors...

Manager was to present an interface for one of our intranet apps.

Designed and implemented by yours truly consisting of a php backend api and a very shiny frotend, which ain't using anything fancy. Mostly jquery since I am using datatables for the most part.

Thing is. To test a button with large text inside I wrote
<button someclass>penis dick vagina</button>

I saw it literally 1 min before she was to present it maybe

Oh boy.

Managed to get it out of the way before the presentation.......
Thank heavens the conference room is next to our office........

Someone asked me about Ruby vs Python.

The flashbacks regarding the python vs ruby wars started to kick in man.

I always liked Ruby faaaaar more than Python. And find Rails to be a far superior alternative to Django as the web framework champion from each side and Sinatra far more enjoyable than flask as the micro framewor champion on each side goes.

But this guy is very math oriented and likes the idea of data science for which Ruby has a disadvantage in terms of available ecosystems.

You can't take my blocks and dsls from me tho. I will fight for them.

its 2:00 am here can't sleep. So I sat down and started fixing stuff for the projects burried in graves :/

Is there's an "edit history" feature in DevRant. Some comments makes no sense after a post is edited.

I'm thinking of posting "Arch Linux and Firefox for the win. Who's with me?"

Then, when I have some comments, I'll switch it to "Windows 8 and IE for the win. Who's with me?"

That could ruin a lot of lives.

Can someone explain the philosophy of the "not for me" downvote?

There are many things that are "not for me" in life, but, presumably, this action executes a global downvote on the post/comment---which is pretty much an expression of "not for anyone".

If this action were to train a recommendation engine---so I get recommendations that like-minded people see---then great. But why should that result in a public downvote?

I don't go up to people in the bar and say "Drinking Guinness? Not for me, mate." As an adult, I understand that my preferences are not universal.

Personally, I can't square the idea of "not for me" with its consequence of a public downvote.

I'm sure this must have been covered before...but all rants, as physiological and emotional activities, are unique. Your rant can never be mine.

Coffee
Doors and windows: closed
Air conditioner: on
Headphones: on
Music: on
devRant: off

I have finished some docs for my project.
Going to bed.
GIANT insect in my bed.

I think i'll not sleep tonight...

I prefere the doc work.

I fucking hate Dockers for windows because you have to run hyper- v for Dockers to work and that kills the ability to use 64 bit vm's in virtual box.

WTF !!!!

Typing "vim" instead of "vi"
Typing with 25wpm by looking at keyboard
Using mouse for copy/paste

for each($email as $stuffToDo){
if($stuffToDo === $moreCrap){
ignore();
}
}

Beware of scope creep. If it's a bug, fix it for free. If it's a new feature or changed from the original signed off scope, charge for it.

Too bad it's not a touchscreen. Would have been nice to play a bit.

I love hard rock, heavy metal, thrash metal... But I can't concentrate listening Metallica or Slayer. I used to study with electronic music, but really I don't like this music. Finally I found a solution. I'm listening videogames soundtracks like Diablo or Ocarina of Time and I feel better with myself.

What a nostalgic feeling!!!

devRant is great. It's like Yik Yak but for things I can relate to!

For loops

Tried disney+ for a week, I was not amazed by the catalogue. went to cancel my subscription and saw this. I guess if my trial ends at an "invalid date" then it would not end at all

Thanks drox & trogus for the time and effort you Guys put into this place to keep it awesome. Also thanks for the Stickers :)

Do you guys ever feel like you lose the ability to be objective about your own work. I've looked at my website for so long now, I don't know if I think it's good or not...

!rant
So I was experimenting with distributing load on separate processes in node.js. I wrote the simplest isPrime function for performance testing, and I calculated a lot of primes. To be able to see the result, I generated a 1920x1080 image where each white pixel represents a prime.
New wallpaper?

Hey, our air conditions are not free, so you really need to buy something else we charge you for the amount of air you have inhaled while sitting down.

As of late I'm creating private game servers on my local network in my free time for fun / relaxing

I've already running:
a World of Warcraft vanilla;
Travian version 3;

And I am currently working on a conquer online private server, but getting the right client for it is the hard part...

$ ouch README.md
-bash: ouch: command not found

Happens way too many times. It hurts.

Holy shit, my first freelance project will be field-tested for the first time tomorrow!

After a few more rounds of fixing bugs, some serious improvements, and some new features additions, I can actually say that I'm proud of the code I've written! It's not perfect, but I definitely like the way it works - AND IT ACTUALLY WORKS!

Knock on wood, hopefully it won't shit the bed tomorrow.

I feel like a sailor waiting for an upcoming voyage. Restless, yet hopeful, yet a bit anxious about what will happen.

Also, am unemployed now. Lol. Feels awesome... Except for the financial part. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Also, am making way too many philosophical decisions as I stand at the edge of an important phase of my life. And rediscovering a part of my personality I forgot existed.

Anyways, hopefully future brings more robots, more AI, more fantastic things to build, and more money and success.

On the beginning of a project I'm not yet ( 😒 ) taking part of I questioned the use of firebase because I understood the client was gonna ask for the web app to be hosted on their servers lately, but people told me not to worry.

Today... Only 2 fucking months later they are asking for the specifications/technologies used so they can prepare their server to host it and I was laughing my ass out internally while saying to my boss:

Well, looks like you are gonna need to rewrite huge parts and probably write a back end from scratch if you are gonna use postgresql.

Lol, why do people never listen to me? This is becoming ridiculous....

Best case name:
[ ] PascalCase
[ ] camelCase
[ ] snake_case
[ ] kebab-case

Pet peeve #1: those guys who iterate over a whole array with 'for' and 'break' on a condition. Have you ever heard of fckng 'while'??
Git source code will be the death of me.

Today I went to a computer store,
I ran dir /s C:\ ( "ls -r /" equivalent for Linux, sorry GNU/Linux)
left it there
Hoping someone will panic thinking that computer has been hacked

!rant well that was it. Had my last day at work yesterday - let's see what the future has to offer for me :)

We've just scheduled a major release on a Friday.

It's not the "age of AI" you dissecated nutsack munching buffoon, you could lick and suckle my delicious tits with that grandiose old tongue you have, if only it wasn't so profoundly infected with feces of every consistency and color.

Your word, for the two shits it's worth, is still better spent elsewhere than promoting falsehood, giving importance to that which has none, or spreading the belief that a demonstrably unscalable approach still has, somehow, room to grow. It's no fucking s*ndrome but full on imp*sterhood, truly a grand fellowship of pauseless jackoffs.

This is it -- a glorified, disobedient, largely unpredictable autocomplete. A probabilistic bullshit machine. It wouldn't be able to replace you, if only you weren't so fucking stupid.

And yes, I *am* contradicting myself by addressing the incredibly cost inefficient overclocked melting minerstack in the room, but I can hardly make the point without doing it, so shush.

Back to the stone age with this shit. Now pass the fucking joint.

Trust me guys for loop saves life.

Been thinking about how to detect sounds for weeks and finally got enough time and motivation to do a Google search... and find an entire example....

All that thinking and worrying for nothing.... now i just gotta figure out how to install PyAudio.... hope it's not hard.... or maybe I already have it installed....

Had to change my dog in my profile. The little black dog died, and I'm grieving pretty hard over it. One dog left, and that's it for me after he's gone. I can't say goodbye to any more puppers.

After finishing the last presentation for this degree, first thing I'm doing is getting rid of my mustache. 😐 👸

Is there an easy way to make your website not look like complete garbage, if you have no idea and no time for some web front-end?

Is it morally right to leave your company after 6 months in if you feel you're not in the right place? Given that in the interview they told you they are looking for someone to engage for at least 2 years?

Hi guys! I need your help.

I'm currently facing a big decision.
I've got a job offer a couple of days ago. The new job would involve an 80% raise to my current salary, and I would make another step on the hierarchy ladder.
BUT
The new place is not a software development company. They have a small team working on internal stuff, but they are basically maintaining a 12 years old garbage.
My job would be, to design the new system from the ground up. At the moment, the new system has to do the same things as the old one, just faster and better. Then they'd like to extend it further.
The first part is not challenging, but the things that they planned in the future sound interesting.

The problem is, that my current company just got a new contract and I'm supposed to conduct the deploy (speaking with their managers, prepare their sites for installation, and install). And since it is a small startup, the deploy depends highly on me.
If I take the new job, then I have to start in February which ultimately means that I screw my current company real bad. They'll probably survive, but they might lose this contract and/or lose money.

If I do what makes economic sense, then I take the job. (fuck it's almost 2x as much!!) But I have mixed feelings about it.
I've got 48 hours to decide.

What do you guys think?

I'm going to Texas in a few months for an international competition. What are some do-s and don't-s in Texas (or USA in general)?

#1 hand in my notice
#2 start my own company
#3 enjoy work
#4 make a metric shit-ton of money (contributes to previous point)

TL:DR Company partner screws up and doesnt do job. I start new company and now able to make ends meet.

My friend and me started this company together. Our roles were defined. I would manage the development of stuff and he would manage getting the clients. I did my job. About a year into the company. He goes ahead and partners in another company. Normally I wouldnt bother, but this is when he stops getting clients for us. Our business drops 50% in the second year. He doesn't work but expects to be paid the same salary as me. I'm doing all the work for the clients while he wastes his time with the other company. He manages to make money doing stuff and buys a BMW, while I'm struggling to make rent.
Finally in Dec last year, I plan to start my own company. And i suddenly have lots of work which pays decently well. I'm looking to hire and am not as stressed with work any more.
Moral of the story: if you must partner, make sure your partner is fully invented in growing your company.

The best part being a dev for me is that my hobby is also my job. And my hobby pays well 😎

Oh for crying out loud, people, stop making apps that clear your clipboard when you close them!

Are people using Vim doing it for the sake of it? Is there such a thing as a Vim hipster?

I mean, nano is just nicer 😇

Gonna get some shut eye so I can do an all nighter, but not for code, need to watch the election results. (UK).

How to find out your boss really thinks you suck and that he was planning on letting you go at the first opportunity and hadn't yet figured out how to do it:

1. Realize that you're overworked and overwhelmed.
2. Proactively ask for a reorganization of duties and provide two alternatives with several helpful suggestions about how to organize the work so things still get done, but it's not all on you.
3. Mention quietly that you recognize a third option exists of no longer working there but that you...
4. The boss interrupts you at #3 and basically asks, "How soon can you write your letter of resignation?"

Damn, bro. You could have paused for a second or two before hitting me with that.

Well I can say one thing for sure. The tooling found for Flutter in the form of IntelliJ and Android Studio is far superior than fucking around on a text editor das for sure.

Not really into the continuous nesting of widgets. But then again I was not a big fan of having jsx either.

Both options still better than fucking around with the Java Android api....and I fucking love Java.

Still feels like Google realized that such approach was better, else I don't think they would have justified the creation of the Flutter lib. And yes. I know that it is not a complete replacement for Android Java, but the interfacing between Dart and the Java api feels more natural at least to me and the widgets look native af so we go on with them big plus digits.

I remember making a site for a client, where whilst registering an account you would get a checkbox for whether you want to signup for the newsletter or not.

But I never added any functionality to that checkbox.

So, whether you check it or not, you would still get the newsletters. 😁😋

I bet there are many other sites, who do this.

I’m thankful for my team. I had an upsetting personal incident and it was affecting my ability to be present. I even missed a meeting. They are giving me the space I need and rescheduling other meetings for me. It’s hard for me to accept compassion because I haven’t experienced a lot of that when I needed it. I was very distressed at the beginning of the week, but now I’m starting to feel better and getting back to functioning.

Should I be ashamed?
I hardly ever use "i" as a counter in for loops
I most likely use "k" and "j"; "i" stands for "index"

How many sh*t days does it need to make me down?
3 ...

I hate my company, for making everything overcomplicated and annoying.... I have to discuss with 3 peoples for 3 days to getting some gitlab premium licenses (20$ per month for 10 licenses)... Why do you need it? Why we can't use the free version? Why Why Why... It's not enough to tell them it will save us much times and improves the quality of development.....

Also I wanted to ask if we can to Jaxb or another Dev Conference this year... Then I got the information that we have about 2000 Euro for 10 people for training.......... What should we do if everyone buys a book this budget is out .... f*ck company....

Second day, half of the day was taken for fixing the live db on the fly cause of a bad structure of tables... at least fixed some other inconsistence too... later the day fixed a freaking shitty bug with Spring Devtools and 2 Classloader to make the product that I'm presenting in 2 days running.

Today next shitty day with discussion that everything I did last half year (introducing Microservices, Kubernetes, Kafka and other DevOps things) could be maybe useless when the external company will say that they use another ecosystem -..- for their microservices...

Someone looking for a disappointed java developer? I just want to develop the best product ever... I'm happy with every area... Frontend, Backend, DevOps, Fullstack, Architect in some kinds depends on the wishes and technologies.

Today I spent 4 hours testbenching and enhancing an algorithm to detect certain metric patterns only to find out that the reason the anomalies weren't picked up correctly was that their metric had some -nan values I didn't check for.... FML

Service's like freelance and people per hour are a farce. It's just a constant race to the bottom price-wise.

'Yeah sure I can make you a blog website in 24 hours for £5'

System.out.println("Hello world!");
☕

Why some single letter variable names looks ugly to me, for example: c, i and j (and even k) are the most used (mostly in for loops) but does not look ugly.. why?

Ugly
for (int a = 0; a < 10; ++a)

Not ugly
for (int i = 0; i < 10; ++i)

My company is getting a new website. This involves getting new hosting.

I made the old one, and it's all just static html. I'm not that attached to it but it's an important detail.

The bosses want the switch to the new site to happen instantly, but I pointed out that with DNS propagation times etc it can't really happen that way.

So I suggested the new web guys host our old site for a few days and we change the DNS now. Then when they want to launch we don't have to wait for the DNS and they can just swap it out.

This involves dropping 10MB of html files into the web directory on the new server.

For this service they are charging us for 2 hours of their time!

I guess I'm in the wrong business...

It took me at least half an hour to figure that one out. :(
These kind of bugs are the most depressing.

Can someone explain why the IT dept thinks that sending form mail from their website via smtp connection using a specific email account credentials (iffice365) for their domain and the ip address of the website included in the domain spf should be classed as an important security issue and we should find an alternative method of sending the form mail?

We've got a big legacy app which we have to rewrite. The current client applications are only working on XP(!). We have to move the clients to the browser so we can finally get rid of all XP vm-s. The db schema is complex but still 1000+ stored procedures and functions and about a hundred tables with 13 years of data.
So I ask the guy responsible for maintaining the DB code. (he is ~25 years older than me)

me - Where is the source of the database. Which project?
he - Where would it be? It's in the db.
me - So we've got a huge db without VCS, upgrade/downgrade scripts, etc?
he - Yes. I don't get why young developers always want to use shiny new tech like git just because it is cool. It has nothing that an external usb backup drive can't do.
me - VCS has been around since the early 1980's...
he - If you really want, you can put it under git or whatever, so you can sleep better, but I still think it is stupid and a waste of time.

I get that it's hard to keep up, but getting personal...

Do drugs n weeds help in becoming awesome at coding and especially hacker? ...

Asking for a friend.

Quickly coming to the terms with the fact that software development inside companies is just the perpetual motion of putting out fires as quickly as possible just so customers can still be ignorant cunts.

I had to disable autosave in my IDE, because I hit ctrl+s / cmd+s anyway...

It would be nice if I didn't have to come in and code on your bullshit product for your bullshit company so I could actually do some code and be happy about it.

If I wasn't so dependent on a regular income I'd be out and doing my own thing already. Money doesn't motivate me to code, it just creates the necessity for me to code for someone elses shitty ideas...

Today I wasted 3 hours writing a script on a python for a girl. That time was supposed to be used for my job. I should find a girlfriend soon 😂😂😂 this habit is killing me.

Need a dirt cheap tablet for basic bedtime needs, reading, surfing, mailing, movies, music, devrant for less than £100.
Amazon just released the fire HD8. Perfect. Ordered.

Job requirement for mee position opening in 11 days: CISSP...

I want this job. Anyone have tips on how to pass this exam in a week?

Having a fantastically shitty day and it’s currently only 08:05.
Last night spent the entire evening moving into my flat and building the colossal amount of Ikea furniture, ended up going sleep around 3am.

Because of my fabulous two and a half hour work commute to work everyday I have to leave my house at 6am. Three hours sleep? Excellent start.
Leave my house at 6am good start, manage to get on my first bus no problem, bus driver being the horrendous cunt he is slams on his brakes because going round a sharp corner at 40 mph when the speed limit is 20mph is a fucking brilliant idea you cunt, consequently it sends my protein shake all over me, my clothes and my laptop. Cheers cunt.

So now it’s half 7 and I’m at the train station & I realise I’ve left my wallet at home. You’ve. Got. To. Be. Fucking. Me.
8 o clock roles over train inductor comes round asking for tickets and the power hungry scrotum drops a £60 fine on me. Cheers. You. Cunt.

So now I’m wondering whether I should just save myself the hassle get off the train at the next stop and jump in front of an incoming train.
Today can suck a fat meaty fiery cock from hell.

I always confuse `for..in` with `for..of` and have to look up their respective meaning. Again.

It drives me crazy.

Do you have any mnemonic on this? How do you remember the difference?

(Now, as in this very moment, I know that for..in is for looping over keys of an object and for..of for looping over iterators. But tomorrow I will have forgotten it again.)

I want to understand things well enough that I can mentor those who want to learn what I’ve already learned, maybe making it easier for them than it’s been for me.

I maintain two websites for my employer. The head of my department and my manager decided it’s best for me to focus my time on website A and website B should be replatformed to an out of the box solution. For website B, we’d work with our IT team to find something suitable.

I did some research and came up with a list of possible solutions. IT looked into solutions that would work with the org’s best practices for tech. A few sales pitches and demos were arranged with the top choices.

Stakeholder for website B is really digging in her heels. SH keeps badgering our Product Manager and IT about why can’t we just build in-house. The out of box solutions don’t do everything she wants.

PM tells SH that no solution will be perfect. PM also reminds SH that comparable institutions just use Google sheets/forms and do everything by hand. So choose an out of the box platform or use Google forms.

Plus, the list of improvements the SH wanted for website B would take at least a year if I did them on my own and there’s no budget to out source the labor. That’s not counting bring the code up to best practices or improving database efficiency.

I’m glad I don’t have to work with Stakeholder anymore. SH and her department were just a pain. They want a lot of custom tech solutions but they freak out at the smallest talk about tech issues.

I really like coding for scientific purposes. It unites my big passions (natural sciences/engineering/coding). And I like the feeling of empowering someone to do research. BUT BESIDES DEALING WITH DUMB FEATURE REQUESTS, THERE IS NO WORSE PAIN THAN HEARING PHD CANDIDATES FUCKING SAY RETARDED STUFF. HOW DID YOU EVEN WON THE SCHOLARSHIP FOR THE PHD YOU DENSE SON OF A BITCH (NICE JOB ACADEMIC ENVIRONMENT BTW). YOU LACK KNOWLEDGE OF HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL EVEN ON YOUR OWN SUBJECT. THE BEST RESEARCH YOU CAN PROVIDE TO THIS WORLD IS THE FLUID DYNAMICS OF AIR WHILE YOU JUMP OFF A SKYSCRAPER MOTHERFUCKER.

PM: *mocking me if I'll JUST wait for feedback*
Me: *thinking* I can't produce everything from an INCOMPLETE DB schema and incomplete App Scribble, can I?

In CS class I had a only 10 lines long python script (everything else was commented out). It didn't work and I searched the bug for ca 20 minutes. I asked a class mate (who commented the other code out) if he could figure it out and he just says: "The indention of the comment is wrong". We had a discussion that it doesn't matter how to indent comments. In the end he selected all the lines, pressed tab and it just worked ?!?!

!dev but working via a Dev firm..
So these dudas hired me to cut and edit videos for them and get to know them (considering to work as web dev after studies, good way to start they said..) sure bit of an extra income..why not..

First clips I get, butthurt ass image quality with low ass sound that not even my grandma with here hi-tech super eardevice could hear a shit..

secondly who the fuck films a company video with a mobile phone in hands.. not even a fucking tripod... The angles are all over the shitfaced scene and your shaking like a fucking dildo vibrates.. "oh fix it with warp, it's easy".

FUUCK YOU! If I tell you these pieces of shit clips aren't even worth posting on Snapchat stories, how the fuck could you even consider using them for companies?!

Every god damn client video has shitty as dildo vibrating Slenderman light quality... Come one! And you want me to consider working for you as a front end developer (where I probably still will have to go through these pills of shit videos)?! Mate.. you better think twice about that...

Ps. Yes I have consulted them regarding these issues and no.. considering that these piles of shit still come my way they haven't taken my advices..(╯°□°）╯︵( .o.)

(Had to steam out somewhere.. ☕)

!rant but kinda

Rails 7 got rid of webpack and Node as a requirement, and for this I am super happy. I heavily disliked having to depend on Node for what is in fact a Ruby framework. I understood the need for it, and I always applaud Rails for being at the forefront of the web dev world and all of the trends that it contains. But maintaining both the node modules required, plus the gemfiles etc was just a big hassle for the simple projects I ever worked on.

This is coming from someone that actually likes JS and Node, but I am thankful this was decoupled.

When a university student approaches you, to do their coursework for them! 😡😓

In one session 36 hours. I lost someone close to me and I kinda didn't leave my office for any form of social interaction for three weeks.

The lead developer is away this week, what will I do if somebody asks me for a deadline 😰

Was trying to find the option for sharing a video with start at specific time.. accidentally stumbled uppon this.. was pissed at first for hiding start at option, but found this, so now I am mildly happy and amused..

Another one of those success messages, that looks like an error message. feat. MySQL Workbench

So, school is starting tomorrow. And to be honest I am glad, unlike those poor lazy ones who happen to act as if they have more important things to do and education is not for them.

It’s the 21 century morons, sure it doesn’t have to be a regular education. But you are not gonna achieve any without proper study. Unless you wanna be a carpenter or sth, oh even that is being automated now days...

Naaarf

Refactoring the whole day.

Someone who prefers while(list(...) = each(...)) or for($x=0; $x < count($array); $x++) wrote the following code, too.

if ($indexed == null || $indexed == "0" && $row[$x]["indexed"] == 0 || $indexed == "1" && $row[$x]["indexed"] == 1) ....

It's buggy. Why does this not surprise me?

This stuff. Whole day.

My brain feels foggy.

Why is vectorization library faster than hand-written for loops ? I mean, somewhere down the line, the matrices/vectors must be multiplied (or any other operation) and thus be one-by-one (for loop??) calculated and stored.

Why is it then faster to use these libraries than just manually writing for loops all over the place ?

I guess some low level magic (OpenBLAS ?) goes on there but I just don't see it..

P.S. [Would have posted it on stack overflow but I'd be ripped apart so I'm pioneering new ways]

How do you feel about ieee and other paid research websites?

Every time i search something complex, an ieee research paper would pop up and i couldn't read it, coz i don't have the membership. Even if i did, i had to pay Rs. 1000 (~=$12) . For every paper i want to see

I am not saying its bad to demand a price for your work. But i wish ieee was more like github or medium, where people could also optionally publish their content for free viewing. The cost is making a lot of students miss deep knowledge of research papers.

The main thing that currently frustrates me as a student is the fact that University subject syllabus are made by sulky old phd teachers who have been long term members of ieee and other paid research orgs, and thus have designed the syllabus with topics which are covered nowhere but in research papers.

I also know that some of you sre thinking "dude , just google search anything and you will find tons of videos and content on anything", but from what i have observed, free internet takes time to grow for a perticular topic . If i search a relatively complex topic i may find some surface info and basic videos, but to go deep, i have to rely on paid/pirated books and papers.

These organisation has gathered a lot of content and renowned people. Maybe they can give away a few knowledge to the open source.

There are few things I hate more in software development than writing mappings from shitty SOAP apis to JSON.