My workstation is suddenly attacked and conquered by the legendry meow and am not allowed to touch it anymore

Client: Where are we with the project, it's been a week and I see nothing.

Me: You asked me to do something that was not in the agreed scope of work, which has kept me from starting on the project.

Client: Do I need to plan out everything in advance on paper for you to get it done in a timely manner?

Me: Is that a serious question? Yes, you should. That's the whole point of creating a scope of work. It's to allow me to schedule out the time necessary to build out a product in a "timely manner".

Client: I don't appreciate your attitude. This is not how you should be doing business if you like making money.

Me: I don't appreciate your condescending, unreasonable, dickhead mentality that makes you think it's remotely okay to act like you're better than me. Money doesn't grant you the right to be a dickwad, and just because I'm being paid doesn't mean I have to put up with any level of arrogance or disrespect.

I am in this business to make money, but not at the cost of my dignity and self-respect. You will be receiving a full refund later today, not because I have to provide a refund, but because I never want to communicate with you ever again moving forward. Take your unacceptable bullshit somewhere else.

The other day my girlfriend said that i could learn French in two weeks and proceeded to be preplexed when I said that obviously I couldn't.

She actually believed that me being able to learn a programing language In a week or two meant I could do it with any language.

Sometimes I wish I could .gitignore people around me.

I got in bed early last night with a bad stomachache.

While I was lying there half asleep, it occurred to me that I could just set a breakpoint, and then the next time my stomach growled, I could inspect it to see what food had been passed in that was upsetting it...

😄

Why is there no bytecoin? One bytecoin would be 8 Bitcoin.

best solutions came to you when your in shower or in toilet.

Its funny when people don't believe that BRAINFUCK is a real programming language 😁

True story

Look honey! I optimized the code in such a way only a few lines are needed, I'm so happy with this efficiency. Her reply: "Ooooh, that's nice!! <blankstare>". Yeah, uh, we'll talk later.

ah the non-tech guys! ㄟ( ･ө･ )ㄏ

Compiling successful from the first time - there is smth wrong.