Pleb: "What's your job?"
Me: "I'm a programmer."
Pleb: "Great, because I have a problem with my pri..."
Me: "STOP! Last person who thought I was a printer support serf got strangled with the printer cable."
Pleb: "But it's a wireless printer."
Me: "Right, where's the power cord?"

The other day my girlfriend said that i could learn French in two weeks and proceeded to be preplexed when I said that obviously I couldn't.

She actually believed that me being able to learn a programing language In a week or two meant I could do it with any language.

Rules of Optimization:
Rule 1: Don't do it.
Rule 2: Don't do it yet(experts only)

Why write any specs anymore? The juniors don't read them, nor do the product managers. I'm just talking to myself at this point.

So, I waste time writing these nice detailed tickets, then when I go to review the pull request, the whole pile of horseshit is half done, and when I ask the product managers for resolutions, they don't have a clue either.

So just give me the whole fucking app, I'll do the whole damn thing myself. See you on Mars in 2025 while you and your pleb asses serve me fries and burgers.

Pleb designers who don't send vectors can you fuck off

Can't browse the web like a blissful pleb anymore.

Why I don't use Stack Overflow 99% of the time:

Me: I'm not a ruby developer, but I have to write a small script in ruby. I ran into a problem where i'm getting behavior I don't expect. I have a method which expects an array, and when multiple items are passed into it from the command line parser, behaves appropriately, but when only one command line argument is passed, the method breaks because it was passed a single element, not an array of one element. Here's my code, how do I get my desired behavior?

Most highly voted answer: your problem is your passing it a single element and not an array

Question downvoted into oblivion. As if i'm a pleb for not immediately having a perfect grasp of dynamic typing because when I have the choice I stick with strong nominative typing.

So I work for a VPN company as the Info Sec manager long story short I'm not usually the pleb who does customer support.

But today I ended up having to do this. I spent over 1 hour helping a client that a support agent escalated the request for to me. So I figure out that his network adapters are sharing incorrectly.
I fix problem.
He tries to connect.
Denied access so I check our servers for the request and he's blocked.
I think that's odd.....

I check active subscription and this person ISNT A CLIENT THATS ACTIVE....

WHY IS SUPPORT SO IGNORANT.
UGH.

Maybe it's because I'm a pleb or because I was first taught Java, but, I only really know Object Oriented Programming patterns, what are the other types, uses, etc?

Plebs be using IG, FB & Snapchat.
Then ranting about its full of shit.

Maybe they ain't so pleb but in development. Still don't get why someone would hate themselves to make such media their main.

I want to make an AI bot from scratch. Where do I start? Which languages should I know? What IDE should I use?

Overhears colleague say 'Ohh there's a plugin for that'. Few weeks later i find the dumb fuck added it to the codebase and not use the dependency manager. I'd happily shoot the senior Dev who peer reviewed it but looks like this pleb merged straight in!

With a codebase overflowing with duplicate frameworks and unused jquery plugins I'll be burning the god damn place down come next week!

Finally set up my home server and port forwarded it so I can use linux everywhere even as a window pleb.

Now just to make a solution for not having a static IP address...

If you notice that "rm *" could kill you😂

My OnePlus 5' fingerprint scanner stopped working after lunch today. After a few test, found that it was a hardware issue. Fuck.

Now I have to open my phone like a pleb. I have to close and reopen the phone to open new apps.

I've been learning java back end web since November last year. A month ago I've tried JS/React and have fallen for it. All my back end guys are hating on me now, because, as they say, I'm not "an intellectual" anymore but a just JS pleb 🌩️🌩️
Wrong people to talk to i guess :sigh:

We can't have good things, can we, SVG implementations??? Apparently, I can't re<use> anything from adjacent file, because only Inkscape understands it. Or to seek support in browser, server is required to see a group from one SVG file in another. Why?

Dahhhhhh. Retrofitting CSP to an established, legacy site with inline scripts and random CSS/js loaded from all over the place is damn stressful.

Why did I volunteer to sort this crap out... What a pleb.

So a bit ago I posted a rant saying that I would be getting ElementaryOS onto my computer and trying it out, buckle up kiddos because this goes to shit in just a moment.

I did everything right, used Rufus correctly and didn't destroy my computer nor my installer, good! I set it up, get everything going and everything is running smoothly. One problem... I couldn't download **any** programs that weren't from the Ubuntu Store, which really annoyed me because I like to use Brackets, and I couldn't find it in the UStore...

So I messed up **really** bad here... I didn't *format* my Elementary Installer, but tried to delete the files like a pleb and stick an Ubuntu ISO in it's place, I didn't even think on going through Rufus again, I just slapped that shit in there without a thought.

I restart my computer, I read a forum stating that I would get an option that allows Ubuntu (or another Linux distro) to take over the partition of a previous distro. Neat! Another bloody problem is that I decided to use "Win + R" and manually delete the Elementary partition **myself**... What is even wrong with me...

So I restarted it, and before my father left to go shopping, he said I should go into the BIOS to change the boot order (Now this is where I **really fucked up**. Thought what I said before was bad?).
Cool, so I boot my PC and go into the BIOS, now I couldn't figure out on my computer where the boot order was, when it was right in my face the whole damn time... I managed to almost destroy my entire BIOS with the fucking file in my USB stick, because I was being an idiot...

I restart, GRUB opens up with a black screen and white text in the top left corner, know what the most important line is in that small block of words? "unknown filesystem"... Of fucking course I fucked it that bad, GRUB didn't even give me the option of just using Windows 10 instead, just quietly gave me the middle finger since I basically nearly fucked everything.

What's funny is that I had someone (who lives with us, let's call him Jeff) look at my computer because I was done being a dumbass.
He told me that I still had my BIOS (which was a bloody relief, because I thought I basically destroyed my computer doing what I did) and that all I need to do is fix the installer I tried to use.

I gave him the USB and just started to play on my phone.
Then I remembered something maybe an hour or so ago... I had an older installer that I used on my shitty laptop awhile back, if I can find it again I could just use that instead of waiting on Jeff. I dug around my room and found the USB that had a working Ubuntu ISO on, correctly placed inside this time.

I basically walked up to my computer, plugged it in and started it up, and it worked. I got Ubuntu and Windows 10 back, and I was basically laughing like I just saved a man's life.

Moral of this story: Don't be like me and do something stupid, especially if you don't know what the fuck you're attempting at...

you, the pleb: aMoGuS 🤡
me, an intellectual:

I used to love coding. I have ASD and it was one of those rare things I could just do for hours without realising the time. I used to do my own projects, or at least plan them.

Now it's my job to code (& design when I don't have a pleb project, software engineer). I still kinda like to code but as I *have to* code, I just hate it.

Every fun thing that turns to work just turns to torture. Maybe I'll break my arm slipping this winter and have to have an extended sick leave...

when do you get a stress ball and is it really that good?

Imagine being on holidays on monday like some elitist pleb.

* This post was sponsored by "First day back" gang 😒

why does touchwiz still look like an interface for a 9-year old?

I have a really shit laptop and I'm a pleb student.

Are there alternatives to Android Studio? Does not have to be a bundled solution (already know about the eclipse-way)

Does anyone know of any open-source dot.net or ruby project that a pleb can contribute to?