that moment when you are busy

Me: 1 is something, 0 is nothing, NULL is the absence of things
JuniorDev: wut
Me: You've got pizza in a box, that's 1. If there's no pizza in the box, that's 0. If there's no pizza and no box, that's NULL.
JuniorDev: OOH so there's no object to reference if I ask for a slice!
Me: *small tear*

Always explain things in terms of pizza. Always.

FTSDD — Fuck-This-Shit-Driven Development

if u r a node js developer, don't consider yourself a cook

Sitting through useless Friday meetings thinking "I need a goddamn drink".

Everytime people talk about big data/ operations research

can anyone confirm?

What the fuck did I just read

I don't know what to say

well, sorry Dave

I swear... The world don't give us enough credit for what we do.

This image is still the best explanation of a project.

When I was in my second semester of college I was tasked with creating a file encrypt/decrypt program. Take in normal textfiles and spit out a new random text and symbols file. I worked on it for two weeks and read up on all different encryption types and stuff. I was so excited when it was done. After it was done compiling I tried it out on its own source code. Encrypto.c and named the output file Encrypto.c 😰 The next thing I did was google " best version control and how to use it."

Inherited project from another company that the owner wants updated rather than rebuilt.

The comments could write a programmers joke book as you can tell it's been passed between multiple developers.

This is a literal excerpt
//Not sure why this line needs to be here but it breaks without it
//Nope I don't know either
//FFS now I have to deal with this. Thanks guys :/

I definitly need my own wifi...

How do you fix a bug in a badly written code?
You don't. You re-write that shit!

The struggle is real

That awkward moment a comment on your rant gets more ++ than your rant😏

So my landlord just came up and asked why I'm using so much bandwidth (they've just had a new line installed so they're monitoring it like hell for some reason) so we had a chat, I told him I'm a Web Developer so I'm uploading and downloading a load, and bare in mind this is student housing, he offered to install a wired connection in my flat only so I'll have a decent and stable connection when all the other students come back in September.

This is the first time in my life I feel like I'm not paying enough rent!

Giving functions exciting names so you can feel like a Bond villain while programming:

execute(); destroy(); fire(); isDead();