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Search - "chair"
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I went to Paris for my first interview (that was 1989) for a job of Unix kernel developer. All dressed up. I step out of the elevator and see a young punk with scruffy hair and different colour shoes. I reckon he must be the pizza delivery guy. I ask him "dude, can you please point me to the CEO's office for interview". He said "sure, follow me man, I'll show you". We arrive at a desk, he sat down in the big chair and looks at me with a big smile and says "Ok dude, here we are. I am the CEO. Now let's see how good you are!"
I got the job. And 26 years latet, last week, amazing coincidence: I met him again at a trade show in Paris ... with the same coloured shoes. How cool is that!!!28 -
Today at work, still laugh thinking back to it!
We were on lunch break but the linux support engineers who are on the phones as well have to pick up calls anyways (very small team).
*engineer walks to the table, sits down: Ahhh rest, finally!*
*tringggggggggg*
*engineer pulls a face like 'oh for fucks sake' and walks back to his desk*
*puts headphones on and clicks the answer button just as it disappears*
"really!?! Alright lets finally eat now"
*sits for literally one second*
*tringgggggggggg*
*Engineer seems quite pissed off now. walks to his desk again, puts on headset, clicks the answer button JUST as the call stops again*
"Mother of god, fucking really?"
*stays as his desk for a minute or so, walks back, stays hovering above his chair for a little and finally sits down again*
"Finall......"
*TRINGGGGGGGGGGGG*
"MOTHERFUCKER. THESE GUYS TIME IT OR SOMETHING!?!?"
*walks back to his desk very frustrated this time*
*puts on headphones very quickly and presses the answer button*
*answer works but the call is literally dropped the second he starts it (it was a real client)*
"OH FOR FUCKS FUCKING FUCKING FUCKING SAKE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK"
*walks back to table again and sits down. Takes sandwich and....*
*TRINGGGGGGGGGG MOTHERFUCKER*
"FUCKING COCKSUKING MOTHERFUCKING PIECES OF WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK EVER"
*gives a deadly look to another engineer: "I am NOT going to take it this time! En-fucking-joy."*
We laughed so hard xD16 -
No, Arduino.
I'm not moving at 50km/h. Not even close. I'm sitting in my chair.
Just because I plugged a wire in backwards doesn't mean you are right.5 -
!rant
I've always wanted to son to enjoy the the same feeling I get when I'm developing. Today my son pulled up a chair next to me and started asking questions about my code, it's safe to say I got those proud dad feels.
Feels good man, feels real good.6 -
Enough of this!!! I need a break.
*Gets up partially from chair*
*Looks back at the code, gets an idea*
*Sits down again for couple of hours*5 -
Me: Sitting in beanbag chair in development office, using closed macbook as a plate for a large walnut-brie-honey-rucola sandwich, honey dripping all over the aluminium top.
New manager (well, he's pretty old, but newly hired): "I don't think you're allowed to eat near the computers"
Me: "And I don't think you're allowed in my dev cave".
*Put macbook to the side*
*push him out of the office*
*close sliding door*
*close blinds*
*sit in beanbag chair*
*eat sandwich*
*lick honey from macbook*
I'm sorry, coworkers. Two weeks of writing MySQL queries made me a bit feral.9 -
My first day in a Linux admin and security course. I went all confident and cocky waiting for some bullshit like "type in your term: ls, cd, pwd, see you tomorrow"
Suddenly the teacher starts to configure lampp, then jumps to bind, and thirty minutes leater , when everyone has their ssl keys under control, I was still struggling to correctly forward my mate. The rest of the day was smooth and easy for those who finished their servers, and there I was, unable to find my own ass in the middle of that mess made of bad assigned permissions and wrong placed addresses. Even worse, he came to me when I asked for help, took my chair and fixed everything in one beautiful single bash line. I started to ask "what's this? Where is that? Is it a config file or a directory?" And with all his patience he keep telling me the obvious answers that where right there at the screen but I couldn't see. Took me two weeks to catch his pace, and another two weeks to understand fully his classes. He never said a word about my terrible first day (first couple weeks). When course finished, I saw he was going to teach a really hard security module, and I signed up without hesitate.6 -
Fuck this shit.
C# exams this week (on Mac..) and it says in the rules "to improve the comfort of the students it is allowed to bring your own equipment and set up your own environment" well that's great.
What a fucking shame these idiots see "your own equipment and environment" as peripherals ONLY. Bringing your own laptop is not allowed. Installing software you want to use is not allowed.
But hey, I'm allowed to bring my own chair.14 -
Girl: you don't...see sharp
Me: I'm... Not a Java developer
Girl: I never said you were
Me: but why make that joke?
Girl: what joke? You hit your head on a beam tripped over a chair and missed your drink. You clearly need glasses
Me: *gets glasses* oh your not a girl 😳7 -
Best prank on me: Airborne under my chair rigged to go off when I sit.
Best prank I pulled: Recorded my laugh and assigned it as everyone's office ringtone. I still have co-workers check their phone when I laugh.4 -
Yesterday on #vim irc
User1: Hey this is my code <linkto python code>, why isn't this working?
User2: It's Vim channel, you will have more luck on #python.
User1: But I'm coding on Vim so it's Vim related
Me: Then go to #ikea because of that chair you are sitting on while typing.5 -
The moment I dared ask a colleague about unit testing, and instead of giving me a book or a look, he stashed his work, pulled over a second chair and we coded some, for an hour.3
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Learning soft skills.
I'm about as direct with coworkers and managers as I am on devRant. And I still think being painfully direct is often better than playing the heavily politicized office game of thrones.
But sometimes it's better to say:
"CTO, I think we need your skills to build bridges to other departments and manage recruitment. You're the only one who understands both technology and people, so drop your developer role and become our ambassador"
Instead of:
"Dear CTO, your code makes my eyes bleed. Your CS degree was a fucking waste of tax money, and it's quite clear that cheap college beer washed out all of your reasoning skills. We should fill the space you're taking up with a beanbag chair, because you're providing negative value to the company. How many investor cocks did you have to deep throat to get where you are?"
Now, I just pick option one, smile politely, and tell him we need to increase department budget as indemnification for having to work with a retard like him. Uh I mean... "to get developer salaries up to a competitive level so we can retain knowledge"10 -
I'm moving to a new place soon meaning that I'll have to get a new desk/chair. (current ones suck)
I need a good one of both but I'm not rich so was looking for more cheap options.
The guy next to me is moving out soon as well appearantly and he came to me and another roommate like "hey I'm going to buy everything new, fresh start! If you guys would like to have anything, let me know!"
Me: also a desk/chair by any chance?
Guy: yup, take a look :)
*takes a look*
Me: the damn they look very good! Are you sure you want to get rid of them? I'd think they cost quite some money.
Guy: yeah, you can also have the couch table/clothing closet if you'd like! (all designer/quality stuffs)
😍7 -
Acceptable places to leave your bag when you get in, in the morning:
- Under your desk
- On your desk
- Infront of your locker
- On the back of your chair
- etc.
Unacceptable, is to throw your bag behind you and to the right, so it ends up in the middle of the floor and behind my chair.
Consistent use of this space, and me tripping over it will result in 2 things:
1. I will intentionally run over your bag, back and forth until I am satisfied everything is broken.
2. I will then pickup said bag and throw it, with force, at your head.4 -
Got invited to a "roundtable", where we will discuss email security and the future and direction of where it is going.
Only 10 people in Sweden got a chair
I feel exclusive but also scared that they will find out what a noob I am lol4 -
Me: *Working on my game*
Partner: What are you working on?
Me: Just starting out some basic AI
Partner: Why are you writing 'if' and 'switch' so much? Is that what AI can be?
Me: Look away! Don't break the illusion!
I then sat back in my chair and realised AI isn't really that intelligent...7 -
Made sure I was alone and farted, two second later my boss walks over to my chair and sits down to show me a problem with the website...
I felt so uncomfortable3 -
I... uhm... I... I can't... I ... I can't even.... THIS IS LIVE IN THE CLIENT'S SITE WHERE ANYONE CAN CREATE A LOGIN WITH NO VERIFICATION WHATSOEVER AND SEE THIS WHICH IS LINKED TO A BIG RED BUTTON THAT RESETS THE WHOLE DATABASE, YOU FUCKING DUMB PIECE OF SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
// This event clears the entire solution in all active clients, truncates the database and also removes any stored PDFs in the server folder
$(document).on('click', '#resetDB', function () {
// This event only happens if the user correctly enters the password, this is to prevent other users than the admin from performing this action
var answer = prompt("Please enter the password required to perform this action.");
if(answer == "-REDACTEDBECAUSEHOLYSHIT-") {
socket.emit('resetDB');
} else {
alert("The password is incorrect, please try again!");
}
});
AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!111!!1!!11!1!!1!1one!one!!!11
(I'm not inventing this, even though the "site" is internal only and not accessible through the web. That does *not* make it any less stupid!)12 -
Engineer: We need pinch/zoom support for big images. We've been using OpenSeadragon but we didn't like how big it was.
Me: It's 49KB minified. Pretty hefty.
Engineer: Right, so what we can do is fork the repo and delete the parts we don't use.
Me: Fuck you
Engineer: Ok
Me: Our site blasts you with 6.3MB of assets over 233 requests in 5 seconds. Look, if I blacklist this 51KB one right here... man, can you just feel your ass floating out of your chair now that this weight has been lifted? Isn't this worth maintaining a fork that's been stripped to a shell of it's former self?!
Engineer: Just let us know if you need any more context
Me: I CAN FEEL THE SERVERS BEAMING INTO MY NEURONS5 -
It's me, in my hacktoberfest t-shirt, sitting on my gaming chair with gaming keyboard and mouse, working 12 hours per day for 7 days, coding and pushing bits to server so a client can be happy.21
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My boss is technically my coworker.
I screamed my lungs out after it became clear that he didn't give a shit about employees that bring him money. After snatching all funds from a finished project on time, failing to deliver on the promise about bonuses (it's what I used to motivate employees to deliver the project on time), refusing to buy a new chair to replace the one held together by scotch tape and careful balancing, I decided to quit with maximum damage.
I screamed so that everybody would hear it. That encouraged another guy to get in with quitting, and within 1 month most of the team had quit, leaving the boss with a risk of lawsuits for prepaid contacts not delivered.
Knowing that piece of shit, he probably recovered and is treating other people badly, but at least every single person from the team experienced the biggest jump in careers straight after that.1 -
So this happened to me today.
After spending the whole night coding / watching Netflix I was sitting in my chair and looking at my screen with VSCode (dark theme of course) open. It was pretty dark in my room because the only source of light was my computer screen, which was still pretty dark because of the dark theme.
So, while looking at my code I suddenly noticed that the room had gotten a bit brighter. I wondered wtf was going on.
I looked out the window and saw that the sun was rising. Then I looked at the clock:
5:30 am.
Me: 'oh, lol'14 -
It was a boring day and I was about to ssh into my server and this guy comes up to me, stares at my screen and when I turned back
He asks me "Have you tried deep in ur ass?"
*People around started looking at us*
I was like wtf! Got out from my chair and looked in his face "wtf did you just ask me?"
"Deepin, Deeepin OS! "
"Say that again u dumb fukkk and I will fucking slam ur face into the wall!"
Fucking confuses every time!!7 -
I just spent an hour debugging my company's web app. More specifically, I was trying to fix a bug that made a label on a comment I just made say "Posted 3 days ago".
After confirming timestamps on the server are correct with a calculator, fiddling around with the js debugger, and ruling out weird timezone-related shenanigans, I came to a conclusion.
The bug was in fact sitting, quite comfortably, between the chair and the keyboard.
Yesterday I had moved the date on my computer roughly 3 days into the future, because I was testing out some unrelated code that was dealing with Redis, and I wanted to expire all of the keys stored inside of it.
Don't blame me, my parents told me I had fallen onto my head as a child.5 -
"Oh, I reverted your changes because I did not understand them"
I SPENT THE WHOLE DAY REFACTORING YOUR SHITTY SPAGUETTI SHIT U LAZY PIECE OF SHIT !
But I guess being a senior guy entitles u to sit your fat fuck ass in your chair writting garbage all day long.
Btw what he did not understand was f strings. In python. Srsly. How is that arrogant incompetent prick paid at least 10k more than me3 -
this is the state of hiring tests:
1. can you take an english sentence, and without a tutorial, write a for loop?
2. okay now write a full parser. but not in the language we want to hire you in.
also we can afford to pay you in bananas, experience, and exposure.
p.s. we also need you to do this backend test because this is a backend job even though the ad is for front end and you specified an hour ago when the interview started that you only trained for front.
on the positive side, we have a ping pong table and a bean bag chair. and a two hour commute. Think of the benefits!16 -
Had an unannounced performance/progress review at work today.
I always get nervous when having those but I know my boss and lead support engineer by now so i got to relaxed mode quite fast.
Then i was getting very cold and started to shake (in combo with the slight nervousness).
That lead to extensive stuttering 😬
Apparently I put my chair right under a fucking ceiling fan thingy in my nervousness.
😅3 -
TLDR: Fuck you, Client A
1. Want to change the business flow during UAT and decide the deadline to be less than 4 weeks, even though that's how the business flow stated on the docs
2. He threatening us not to pay if it isn't done, even though he's not the one paying us
3. He said time isn't a problem because he can provide a table and chair that is put in front of his table
Fuck you, Client A13 -
!dev I'd just helped a client cut over to a new fiber connection and then left for Vegas, about 2 days into the trip my wife and I decided to hit a breakfast spot that had bottomless mimosa's, which was of course a claim we had to test.
As we are walking(stumbling) out of the restaurant I get a call that the connection has crashed and the entire car dealership is unable to sell cars, which they tell me is important functionality.
So I make it up to my room and break out the laptop, luckily the mgmt interfaces are still available externally so I'm able to log in and then have the fun challenge of 1) not falling off of my chair 2) not accidentally making a change that kills what connection I have in and 3) fixing their actual issue.
Took me almost an hour to find a simple OSPF issue but at least got them working and happy. However by that time I was beginning to sober up, which is the absolute worst thing that can happen while day-drinking and ended up basically causing me to be be hung-over for the rest of the night, including my wifes friends wedding, which she wasn't thrilled about...
The moral of this story is to make sure to NOT stop drinking while dealing with unexpected production impacting events.1 -
This is from my days of running a rather large (for its time) Minecraft server. A few of our best admins were given access to the server console. For extra security, we also had a second login stage in-game using a command (in case their accounts were compromised). We even had a fairly strict password strength policy.
But all of that was defeated by a slightly too stiff SHIFT key. See, in-game commands were typed in chat, prefixed with a slash -- SHIFT+7 on German-ish keyboards. And so, when logging in, one of our head admins didn't realize his SHIFT key didn't register and proudly broadcast to the server "[Admin] username: 7login hisPasswordHere".
This was immediately noticed by the owner of a 'rival' server who was trying to copy some cool thing that we had. He jumped onto the console that he found in an nmap scan a week prior (a scan that I detected and he denied), promoted himself to admin and proceeded to wreak havoc.
I got a call, 10-ish minutes later, that "everything was literally on fire". I immediately rolled everything back (half-hourly backups ftw) and killed the console just in case.
The best part was the Skype call with that admin that followed. I wasn't too angry, but I did want him to suffer a little, so I didn't immediately tell him that we had good backups. He thought he'd brought the downfall of our server. I'm pretty sure he cried.5 -
Why are devs so fixated on other devs' IDE, OS, programming style and chair choices??
Imagine if every sports player would comment on the way the other walks, bats, the colour of their shoes!
Devs are a bit picky don't you think?12 -
Tester - The app has a bug when I try to buy a ticket
Me - okay, what's the bug ?
Tester - it shows an error
Me (trying to not high-five him with a chair in the face) - What's the error message?
Tester - ah nvm it works now!!
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuu. Explain the issue you dimwit, don't just say it doesn't fucking work!2 -
I take 1 day off from work, i come back finding my chair replaced by a junky one... I mean really??? f*ck this!17
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I just wanna smash their head with a metal chair then shove their own keyboard up their fucking ass... Sideways while they choke on a rusty knife...
Lazy cunts7 -
my mum can't comprehend the idea of earning money from sitting in a chair doing stuff 😭 so when i tell her i work with computers, she always imagines me with a lab coat tearing the things down4
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A previous co-worker (dev) bought a "foot mouse" he found on a Chinese website, then changed his keyboard's layout to match the "natural human cognitive ability" also bought a sleeping bag because he needed a "power nap" after lunch break he even asked our MD to buy him an ergonomic chair which would cost around 1200 USD ( of course our MD refused) then the worst of the worst, he had this habit of chewing his food loudly when he's eating something he likes.
One time our operations manager (she was pregnant XD) screamed at him from her desk " RAYAAAAN SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH I CAN HEAR IT FROM HERE DAMN IT"
He literally spilled some of the food he was chewing on his desk and I burst out laughing like crazy.
On the same day our MD told us to follow a new "no food in office" policy 😂😂😂
Sad story is that when he left the company I had to revert his PC to how it was including resetting the keyboard layout to default, remember his "foot mouse" ? Well he had to modify the mouse settings so all directions were inverted.
The first thing I said when I turned on his laptop was
FUCK YOU RAYAN!!3 -
My friend asks me, and what did you get for christmas?
me: I've gotten SO MUCH FUCKING MONEY that I bought a second 3D Printer...
and you?
My Friend: 5 Bucks... I spent them immediatly! 3 Bucks for a chair and 2 for a Rope!
We were laughing our asses of 5 minutes strait...1 -
My smart watch just reminded me to get my lazy ass out of my chair and move some.
I picked up my coffee cup, drank a sip.
That satisfied it.
Lazyness : 1 - Technology: 06 -
Never underestimate the power of a decent chair!
Was staying at friend's for a couple weeks with a horrible chair - my back just spasmed so hard that I am physically unable to get up from bed. Thank god for devRant to keep me occupied throughout the night.
Stay safe kids3 -
A few years ago, when I was in high school, we had a teacher who would take a quiz every week. This particular teacher would attach his laptop to the projector and then show us the questions on a slideshow. Each slide had an exact amount of time depending on how hard the question was and we had to write the answer on a paper. One week, we also had another exam so neither of us had studied for the quiz. One of my friends who had another class with this teacher, told us that their projector stopped working, so the teacher didn't take the quiz and it was postponed. Since most of the class agreed to postpone the quiz, we decided to sabotage the projector so the teacher would be forced to postpone the quiz. We couldn't actually harm the projector because we would get in trouble, so one of my taller classmates stood on a chair so that she would reach the projector. Then she slipped a small piece of paper between the hdmi/vga cable and the port located on the projector. That way it seemed like it was connected but in reality it was not.
The teacher came, could not connect his laptop to the projector, so no quiz!
Sorry, teacher!
P.S. We reverted the changes the next day. Blamed the cheap cable for short circuiting! -
My new Setup :) for code and play
2x 27's Asus Monitors
Macbook Air 11' i7/8gb/512SSD
MSI i7 (6700HQ)/16gb/512SSD/970GTX
MSI i7 (6700HQ)/24gb/128SSD/960GTX
Keyboard Cheery Red Corsair
Corsair Gaming Mouse
DXRacer Gaming Chair
Razer HeadPhone
Logitech Speakers :P
wohooooooooooooooo \o/14 -
Wanting to build a chair, building a hammer first, noticing that hammers already existe but it's too late.3
-
I programmed a random credit card generator at school and saved it to my :F drive which is the private drive for students to save stuff to. That night I tried accessing my account and it had notified me that it had been locked. I went into school the next day and was called into the office, the principal and Tech Administrator were there waiting for me and asked what the file was. The Tech Administrator tried to describe to me what he found
"This gen.html file seems to be malicious and puts our school at risk. It seems to be some sort of malware and stuff like that is prohibited at school."
Now me sitting in the chair listening to this, laughing in my head just said "okay" and nodded my head because he is the type of person to argue forever. They came to the conclusion to unlock my account by the end of the semester.
Just goes to show that it doesn't take much to get a Tech Admin position at a school.14 -
My own programming language (still WIP). I got SO excited when I found recursion worked, I even got the simplest factorial recursive function wrong. And then again, once arrays worked, bubble sort it was. I shit you not, once I saw all the numbers printed in order, I had to stand up and walk or I would have jumped out of the chair in excitement.
In case someone is interested, I use LLVM for the backend.4 -
Currently troubleshooting a client PC's random restarts. Pretty sure it's gonna boil down to "client's chair keeps hitting the power button"7
-
I’ve pretty bad ADHD (diagnosed) my entire adult life, so focus has been a huge struggle for me forever. Here’s my strategy:
- Noise-canceling headphones blasting chiptunes (Spotify has some, but YouTube has the best selection of old-school video game music) I’m usually way less distracted if I listen to music without lyrics.
- A chair cushion (I actually use one of those ridiculous donut ones, but I put a normal sized pillowcase on it. SO comfortable, even after many hours.)
- THE POMODORO METHOD. 25 minutes hardcore coding/debugging, followed by 5 minute intervals for breaks, like checking fb, etc. (Breaks are totally optional if you’re in the zone tho 💪) It’s a great way to reward your brain for focusing.
- And if all else fails, the looming threat of unemployment is always there to keep you motivated 🙃 (Sad but true— always crosses my mind when I’m starting to fall behind on a task)2 -
"So, you will stay in a chair all day doing 'clickety click'. That's not a job."
(My mother, circa 1990)😲
Yes, I'm old... My first program was written in a stone table with a chisel😁1 -
I applied for PHP Developer
Interviewer: What is interface?
Me: it is class with unimplemented methods?
Interviewer: But why we use it?
Me: it acts as a contract so you can assure that
on implementing interface developer will follow
the same architecture.
Interviewer: that's okay but why is the need for an interface at first place?
I was irritated with the interview process as he was smirking
every time I answered.
Me: I never get a chance to do that kind of research. Truth is
even if you hire me your manager will declare the unrealistic deadline and won't care if I comment the code or know why we really need to implement an interface.
After he did not smile and I left the chair.13 -
He asked me for help on something, i didnt find the problem so i asked him to create a new branch and let me figure it out.
I went back to my PC, cloned the project, but it took me like forever ..
node_module was removed from .gitignore, i asked him why ? He said "i changed on the source of a package i used, what can go wrong? " ...
I almost hit him with a chair c: -
So we are in computer lab with some bitch ass c++ program on the board,,its approx. 150 sloc with lot of if's and else's...halfway into the session my friend rolls on his chair comes to my system asking for help, i say sure dude why not.
So we both roll to his system and that bastard has 0 indentation,a set of brackets for every if else even for non-compound statements with every bracket in a line of its own.......
With great difficulty of restraining myself from punching him in the face,,,i politely ask him"Have you ever coded in python"
He says no
I say "that was a rhetorical question"
Everyone around us bursts into laughter and that poor lad still has no idea what just happened
Python should be made compulsory for fags like these,, they'll know the meaning of indentation only then7 -
You know it's time to solve a bug when you pause the music, take a final sip of coffe, sit up straight in your chair and take off all accessories7
-
I have the best reason not to leave my "office-chair"...
More comfort and colleagues bringing me coffee😎☕️
I get great support from my coworkers and friends! Thank you!!!5 -
Everyone is ranting/posting about Stephen Hawking RIP &such...
And I'm just sitting here, waiting for his chair to take over the world & shit to hit the fan.. O.O
P.S. no discrespect meant to the guy, I think he was awesome..14 -
So it happened that a roll of my office chair broke. Since the ordering process in our company is a nightmare and takes forever AND my employer is too cheap to buy enough adequate replacement, I had to draw and print a spare part myself...9
-
So I've taken the first steps into mobile development this past week, I attached two joysticks to a basic unity app to check if touch input was working and I guess I never got around to uninstalling it. so I go to school and finish some class work early and decide, why not check and see what it would take to get my current main Alpha project working. I open my unity folder and see Joystick_Test and someone walking by asks "what's that?" To which I reply tapping on the app "it's a touch screen test, to see if the phone can detect me touching the screen and dragging my fingers. I hand him the phone and he asks why nothing is happening which I respond with "it's just an input test, it's not ment to be anything fancy I just need to program the joysticks and the scripts are still in development" and he hands the phone back and says "your lazy as shit. I can make the controls work in under a minute" and he walks away. It's lunch now and I manage to catch him in the library. I open Unity, and Mono-develop and call him over. I get out of my seat and say "program the left joystick to move around. I'll give you a hint, vector3". He sits in the chair and stares at the screen for a solid minute until I see him type
Console.writeline("hello world");
And he said it would work and just walked away.1 -
Got an answer from asking a question on Stack Overflow and it made me so happy that I giggled in my chair like a three year old.1
-
Me : *writes a clean class to write logs into event viewer with different categories, and useful information for debug*
Boss: “I’m not a developer but I think that’s useless, just create a log table on a sql server and put everything there.”
I’m asking myself what keeps me here. What, the holy Christ’s butthole fuck, keeps me fucking glued to this chair.8 -
A physician, a civil engineer, and a computer scientist were arguing about what was the oldest profession in the world. The physician remarked, "Well, in the Bible, it says that God created Eve from a rib taken out of Adam. This clearly required surgery, and so I can rightly claim that mine is the oldest profession in the world."
The civil engineer interrupted, and said, "But even earlier in the book of Genesis, it states that God created the order of the heavens and the earth from out of the chaos. This was the first and certainly the most spectacular application of civil engineering. Therefore, fair doctor, you are wrong: mine is the oldest profession in the world."
The computer scientist leaned back in her chair, smiled, and then said confidently, "Ah, but who do you think created the chaos?"
Note:
Ten points for an arbitrarily female Computer Scientist. ;)4 -
Office manager sending a mail that all spaces now only have "sustainable vegan leather" furniture, "to carry responsibility for the planet and commit to a greener company image".
You mean you bought uncomfortable plastic chairs.
Vegan leather is just fucking plastic.
Not all plastics are bad, but in this case it's a very toxic plastic, a PVC softened with phtalates and stabilized with cadmium stearate, produced cheaply in a country with no regards for public health or the environment.
It's about as sustainable as munching down a vegan quinoa avocado salad in a private jet on a transatlantic flight.
There are moments where I'm glad that I'm still working from home, because I would have planted that ugly fucking desk chair straight into the equally ridiculous power-slurping hipster "sustainable vertical herb garden" with its 500 watt growlight bulbs.16 -
Graduation day:
A guy presents a modified pathfinding algorithm based on a*, in Java.
Jumping to the conclusions, he says he tested the algorithm on a 128x128 graph based maze, but not larger because the program saturates his 4 GB ram pc.
One teacher (algorithms and data structures) literally jumps from the chair "you saturate 4gb of ram with a* on 128x128 graph?!"
Best graduation day ever lol9 -
Describe your stress level in one sentence.
I'll kick it off:
"If he sends me one more passive aggressive email, or moronic statement, I will hit him with my chair until he stops moving"3 -
Why does everyone enjoy being pantless? I for one find it uncomfortable. One of the reasons I also struggle with wearing shorts at summer time.
Do you really work pantless? Sit on a couch/chair but in your undies?
Srsly....?17 -
How fucking amazing is it that finally I had enough money to buy a new monitor and chair and get cold and get stuck in bed for two days. Haven't even openned the chair 🤧4
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Everytime someone launches a VR headset, people are talking about being able to watch movies in their "personal theater" and I'm here hoping there will be a desktop mirroring or something like a vnc client compatible with the headset so that I can have *infinite* monitors and code more efficiently. I might look stupid swiveling on a chair wearing a headset but hey.. I'll enjoy it!
Imagine.. 32 monitors, a nice piece of noise-cancelling headphones, a swivel chair with keyboard attached ergonomically, backrest bent to near 40degrees..17 -
That moment you're 8 beers deep into your program at 4am, so focused and then realized you've been crossing your legs doing the pee pee dance in your chair so you don't piss yourself because your bladder is full and you just say "ok bathroom break after I finish this method, then one more beer."4
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Clicking "share" on directory in Windows Explorer, digging through config panel, fidgeting with network discovery options, toggling password protection, digging through account management, jumping over a chair 3 times to channel my inner Bill Gates, checking directory permissions, sacrificing 7 virgin unicorns, go into lusrmgr.msc, curse various gods, install CIFS1.0 protocol, reboot computer, disable encryption, checking registry, trying to summon Steve Ballmer using the blood of a bald goat and sweat-scented candles... 5 hours.
Install Ubuntu on spare SSD, mount Windows NTFS drive, start SMB daemon and set up samba users... 15 minutes.13 -
Shout out to the people who take someone else's office chair. I just went for a toilet break then *poof* someone took it.7
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Why do people insist on moving stuff on my desk!
I've very particular about my desk, have my monitors, laptop stand, stands for devices etc. setup the way I like them, and every so often someone sits at my desk when i'm not in and just shoves everything around.
Last company I worked for, I came back from holidays to a thunderbolt cable, the connector of which, had been crushed under the wheel of a chair, because someone left it on the floor.
... Is it wrong or not "proper", to send around an email saying the next person to touch my stuff gets stabbed?10 -
Ever have one of those days that you want to high-five people? With a chair? In the face? That is the day I'm having now. Mondays suck.4
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two days before I complained of lower back pain. raised a concern in office as its due to long sitting hours and got a chair today with great lumbar support. :)3
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In a test software that I'm working on, there is a variable at the very beginning which has a comment "Don't change this variable!".
Hidden within the code is function to check the value. If the test user change it, a giant ಠ_ಠ appears on the screen.
No one will complain, but I can hear the gasps and the sudden chair movements... 😈1 -
What would you be willing to sacrifice for 1 tbps internet speeds?
Mine is my left leg. I'll get a prosthetic or wheel chair. Not like I'd be doing much walking with those speeds keeping me distracted lol.14 -
When you've had a long ass 14 hour day and you're getting nowhere with a problem so you finally accept its time to go to bed...
You lie there for 45 minutes doing nothing but thinking up awesome solutions to the problem you went to bed over....4 -
THis one goes out to the fucktards that decide to fucking change things on api systems to meet new business requirements and fail to fucking scope out the change requirements of dependent systems that YOU are FUCKING UPDATING via THIS FUCKINg API!
You fucking morons!
At least have the fucking decency or balls to walk 10 fucking metres from your stupid ass chair or send a fucking email about the changes rather then me finding out you fucktards change things through an end customer who want to know where there order is!!! FUCK!1 -
That feeling when:
You realize you've spent the last 10 minutes typing feverishly while hunched-over your chair... instead of sitting in it, like a normal person.1 -
My recruitment story is a bit funny,
i had two interview, first one was to evaluate working style, behavior and ethics, where the interviewer and i spent almost 20 minutes discussing video games 😀.
second was technical, was interviewed by a lady dev manager and the team's technical lead "which i didn't know their roles at that time" went really good and at the end they asked:
Do you wanna ask us any questions?
Me: *leans back, with one arm on the chair arm and with a curious look and pointing one finger at both of them😕*
So what are you two?
them: *both had a shocked face and looked at each other for few seconds, manager chuckles😓😓* Well i am the team's dev manager and this guy is the team's technical lead, and in case you were wondering, we are not a couple.
technical lead: 😂😂😂
Me: 😨😨 no no that's not what i meant i swear.
Interview was over, i left the building thinking 😢😢 oh god, i totally blew it.
2 weeks later i get a phone call asking me to come and discuss contract terms 😂😂😂
sorry for the long story5 -
I'm thirteen, and we have an excel unit in our computer class. When she's want to teach us something, she'd deploy her screen on ours and we couldn't do anything. It took me until the third time (yes, that long) to remember the connection was wired via Ethernet. I took the cord out and my computer was free! During the boring "lesson," I opened Code::Blocks to work on a fun side project. When she notice she wasn't connecting to my computer, she walked over to my chair and saw Code::Blocks on my screen. Then, I noticed her behind me. I quickly pressed ALT+TAB. She walked back to her chair. To this day I swear she thinks Im a hacker.11
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Ok so I've been working on this bug for the past four days, fucking non-stop. I wanted to fucking die, was wishing I could just "pkill -f mylife". I tried fucking everything, did what the documentation told me to, stack overflow, tried different versions of the API, read through more lines of documentation than lines in the bible, to no avail. Start comparing screenshots of error logs from the past four days, notice that I started getting a line saying that it's connecting to the config file in a different location from default. I realize that the config file does not match the config file provided by the package installed, so I switch it to the default location. IT FUCKING WORKED, I've tested it nearly 10 times now and I am still in disbelief. It was a rollercoaster of emotions fixing the bug but now I'm just smiling like a fool in my chair at work now.6
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so ive been looking for a java internship for the past days but fuck me, ive made a very huge mistake......
I FORGOT TO ADD JAVA TO MY CURRICULUM
*flips chair*
*flips table*
*flips shit*
hopefully they will see my extra message/letter and read because if they only look at my cv, and see theres no java there, im gonna be rejected real fast :(
wish me luck guys, i went from job hunting to internship hunting bc im reallt desperate now7 -
Today I attended an interview with one of the biggest companies in Automative Technology. What's the worse that could happen. I waited at the reception, then I was taken in. Pushed into a small room. The room could accommodate a single person, but the interviewer and a lady cramped in. I sat on a small chair pushed to the wall. Fuck, I felt claustrophobic. The whole atmosphere was unpleasant. Especially when I tried to see the interviewer, his chest hair kept screaming at me. For God sake, button your shirt man. As the interview went, I figured out, they were not interested in having interview in the first place. Demeaning it was. As I got up to leave, the interviewer walked out first. Then I noticed his feet. Sandals. Goes well with the unbuttoned shirt. Isn't it. If he was going to be my manager, I rather not go even if I get selected.3
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I decided to redo the padding on my chair because it was getting uncomfortable. All the screws they used to put it together were at least half an inch too long. I was basically sitting on nails.7
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FUCK OFF with all this Code of Conduct/ Contributors Covenant BULLSHIT..... Coraline Ada Ehmke The stupid cunt ass tranny bitch started this bullshit.
Heres a crazy idea.... Focus on the god damn code and quit worrying about the other shit.
If you cant stand the heat get the fuck out of the kitchen....
I am sooooo fucken tired of this pansy ass cry baby SJW generation. All of them just need to be forced onto a judas chair... im afraid they would like it too much tho.
At this point there is'nt a law to prevent me from discriminating against Political Ideologies in employment. Its the only way to prevent your company from being infected by the virus.19 -
So today I got an email about a job opportunity. The email was in romainian. This is the exact translation and bear in mind that in romanian as in every other language (I guess) alot of english phrases sound very cringy. This is the email:
We need a fearless hero for the IT realm!
X company, a thriving insurance community, is looking for a real hero of software development that can make code using the .NET mystical hammer that can only be lifted by a worthy, deserving and responsible warrior.
You can't fly? Can't shoot lasers? You are not wasting your night time by looking at the moon on tall blocks wearing a cape? Then you could be the hero we need.
Do not worry, the position does not imply superhuman strength :)) However, it requires intellectual strength and attention to detail. You can even use your powers from a comfortable chair in a welcoming team full of other heroes ready to help you. We won't leave you alone, after all even Batman has Robin :))
I have attached all the information you need. Only The Chosen One can open the document so you will know immediately if you are right. :))
If you want to be responsible with your strength, then I'm waiting for your updated English resume with all your heroic deeds in the past.
Remember, not all heroes wear capes!
... WHAT THE FUCK IS .NET MYSTICAL HAMMER??? AND WHO THE FUCK USES ":))" IN AN EMAIL??7 -
My pain medication makes me drowsy all the time but only lets me sleep at inconvenient times. For example, I got to sleep at 5:30 this morning. Work up at 6:30. But my body will be more than happy to put me to sleep in my computer chair at random intervals throughout the day.
Guess I'll get to work, then?1 -
I once had another dev tell me I needed to oil my chair because he couldn't stand hearing it scream for help all day. 😂
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Today was not a good day for me at all ,being considered a junior developer is not a good thing.
Yes I know due to my lack of the understanding of your 3 years old code base I could not meet up with the deadlines.
So as a punishment one of our senior devs asked me to bring my chair to his desk and told me to commit and push my progress every ten minutes .
He'll then review reading each code line by line ., Reverting too.
The worst part was that for the ten minutes I'll need to wait another 5 , because he was watching some Fifa19 gameplays on YouTube.
This went on for 3 hours .
It worked because I feel like a title noob today .8 -
Read the following in Morgan Freeman’s voice.
Okay everyone sit on down and get ready for story time. There once was a workspace that was a pain in the ass to setup. It often would take an entire day even for the most experienced devs on the team...for it was a workspace perched atop a swamp of shit that would require a whole year to refactor into something that isn’t shit.
It was inherited, passed down, stepped in and scrapped from the boot soles of every programmer that ever touched it. It was an amalgam of old, new, and third party components with a class path a mile long and no package management because the company although physically in the present, somehow maintained a temporal presence in the past. And there was nothing that the team hated more than setting that workspace. In short it was an unholy mess that made Satan cry and Dennis Ritchie spin in his grave so much that the state of California attached magnets and a coil to his body and casket to generate electricity.
Then one day the untalented clowns known as App Group decided that our IDE should be owned and configured strictly through them. They took poor Eclipse and mounted so much silly shit to it that it resembled a riding lawn mower with a fax machine and a blender duct taped to it. Eventually as everything the company touched did, it simply turned into a broken, shitty mess that not even Jesus Titty Fucking Christ could bring back the dead.
And then, every month or so the IDE would break in such a grand way that every developer had to rebuild their workspace...the very same Lovecraftian monster disguised as a code base. It was just too much to bear for old Deus. He was all out of fucks and there wasn’t enough alcohol in the world to quiet his injured soul. So he stood on a chair, carved his name in a rafter and tied a noose to it, put it around his neck and finally kicked the chair out from under himself. I am told he even pooped his pants and the post mortem shit in the seat of his pants was still better than the codebase at work. I’m Morgan Freeman. -
I was called back into work last night at 4 a.m.
(L)user - *anony* I’m sorry to wake you but I’m needing on the internet and I can’t get out.
**Just installed a new firewall and I haven’t had time to get a trusted cert pushed through**
Me - alright I’ll be there in a second.
After rolling my sweet ass out of bed and getting here, I get her through and leave. When I get back to my house I realize I’d forgot my fucking keys... I come back and the bitch has her computer shut down reading a book and isn’t even using the internet...
Me - I thought you needed on the internet, whys your computer shut down...?
Her - Oh, I don’t need it right now, I was just having trouble getting on is all.
FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING FUCK! This is the SAME fucking (l)user that somehow managed to get the fucking toner stuck backwards in a printer. It’s the same girl that has called me in the past at late hours and requested that I move a chair from one patient room to the other. A fucking chair. I’m not in the maintenance department... so first, you’re calling the wrong department and second; the time it took you to call me you yourself could have fucking done it. She didn’t like the way that call ended.
Although partially my fault, if I would have finished everything I wouldn’t have had to get up but shit... this fuck still deserves a chair to the fucking face.3 -
Get yourself a proper set of peripherals (mouse, keyboard and chair), you will be using them quite a lot, so don't skimp out, it's you livelihood, so take care of it 🙂1
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Has anyone ever laid down and programmed? Like I’m one of the laziest programmers ever. You can always see me slouch in my chair to the fullest.
Thinking about asking my company for a super reclining bed chair and a VR headset instead of a $5,000 stand up desk.3 -
Friend : Your bed has your laptop, your clothes and all of this. How do you even sleep here.
Me : I'm a developer. I don't sleep by choice. I am just sitting on my chair, doing stuff and a point comes when the body just can't take it anymore. That's when I hit the sack. So you see...2 -
My setup! You can see my cable "management" at the bottom... Here is a list of everything:
Raspberry Pi Zero
Raspberry Pi 1*
Raspberry Pi 3
Lenovo IdeaPad 14isk with i5 6200U @ 2.6 GHz, 1TB SSD, 1TB HDD and 8GB RAM
HP wireless laser comfort mouse^
Some random blue Fellowes mouse mat*
Viglen EZ9920 keyboard*
HP LaserJet P1102w printer*°
Some IKEA lamp^, desk and chair°
Logitech RX250 mouse*
IntoCircuit Power Bank^
Logitech Z123 2.1 speakers^
Acer S220HQL monitor (1080p)
Kindle Fire HD 3rd Gen
SanDisk ImageMate AIO card reader
Some rubber ducks x2°
Items marked ° are not visible in the photo
Items marked ^ were literally the cheapest I could find
Items marked * were second-hand7 -
Will try to keep that one short.
So we have internal system for active QR codes, nothing really special, as you could imagine. I wrote it when I was beginner but it works and is heavly battle-tested.
Today JBOG (just bunch of guys) come in and try to BS me that something is showing up wrongly for someone.
I check things up, nothing looks out of the order, I go there, everything looks fine too, and they say that yeah but this printed certificate's QR dosen't match what some QR with this name is within the system...
Short invastigation. TL;DR, someone who was rendering/printing these certificates had bunch of these codes with names like
30. ABC
31. ABC
32. ABC
And just casually missclicked...
And to come to that conclusion they need fucking backend dev to confirm that code last 1.5 year didnt magically change, and to destroy their magical belief that it's code's fault.
No, someone fucking missclicked. Whole magic. Usually problem is between chair and keyboard, get fucking used to it. Now, having that settled, let me get back to my work. -
Continued from previous post.
The man with hoodie walked down a dark alley. At distance, a house which looked haunted stood. As he entered the house he sighed a relief. Once inside, he descends to the basement where an old computer sat. He turned on the computer and smiled. The screen showed a prompt. With fews keystrokes, a series of scripts begin to execute. Finally at the bottom, a text blinked.
"Awaiting Connection........"
The CPU was recovered from rubble and brought to General's office as per his order. It was connected to a power source and it started to boot. A prompt showed up. A man in suit, suggested perhaps it expected a login. The General sat on his chair smoking a cigar thinking on what action must be taken next.
While men in suit discussed about the CPU, someone plugged in a LAN cable. The General who was lost in thought, saw this from corner of his. A moment passed. General sprang from his chair, hurling his cigar to the floor. As men in suits, looked at the General's display of athletic behavior they sensed the tension. Everyone turned to the CPU now connected to LAN now.
Far way, the screen on hooded man computer showed. "Connected".
A series of scripts started to execute.
Cold wind was all that could be heard out side the General's office building and the house, where hooded man sat in the dark.1 -
Damn! I never thought resigning from first company is not easy.
The team was amazing, overall culture was great. But after working for 2 years and making product stable enough, the learning curve started to flatten.
Decided to move on, last day was most painful. Sitting on the chair, wondering whether I did the right thing. All the memories flash black on that day. Nervous but little bit excited. Kinda mixed feelings
But turned out that job switch was even better. Good pay + one hell of learning to build product from scratch.7 -
Yayy! It's already -15kg since November! W/o any workouts!!
Now I'm at the point where I'm no longer losing weight and don't get whether the fat is still burning and muscles are evening the weight or my clothes simply keep stretching out. Or I'm just seeing what I want to see
anyhow I know I wouldn't have this problem if I were one of the construction workers currently working outside my office :/ office work sounds nice but it's still got its cons. Like being tied down to a chair rather than moving all the time :/16 -
I went to sleep immediately while taking a break from debugging and the dream was me debugging the same error the entire time. Then I woke up in my chair and resumed debugging3
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Lately, in the company I work for, it's becoming the norm for the dev to finish workdays at 10pm or 11pm, but we still get yelled at when we arrive after 9am. Anyway, every week, the PMs and salesmen have a big meeting to debrief how everything is working so well in this so wonderful company, and whatever. From what I've been told, it's just a big session of self-satisfaction, applause, and gossips.
During the two or three last meetings, some PMs dared to point out that the dev felt underestimated and constantly under pressure. Last time, the boss of the managers answered: "Developers just like to complain."
Yeah, right! We work like hell everyday to respect deadlines of underestimated projects, we have to fight to get hardware, and even a good chair is a precious resource!
Ultimately, another PM trainee said projects were late because dev are just laughing all day long... Go figure!
I feel like most of IT companies treat dev like inferior robots :(5 -
3 hours...
3 damn hours for 200 lines of bash code.
Exorcism, Magic I don't care.... But please make a special person never touching bash programming again.
I ripped my hairs out. Really.
Till I realized someone wrote functions with _logical_ return true codes as numbers.
0 - as logical false, for failure
1 - as logical true, for success
Leading my brain into a severe segfault fun.
Why... Oh why.
Second fun part as I corrected that...
Someone wasn't fond of exit codes at all.
Script is now 86 % rewritten....
God damn it, if you don't like a languages fine.
But inverting core logic should give a free trip to the electrical chair.1 -
Am I the only one who procrastinates only on starting a task? Like, once I start the task, then it's easy to keep going till completion; but I can't freaking get my butt into the chair and start.
Any tips on how to get over starting troubles?7 -
So before the Age of JavaScript, when programming was trying to be an engineering discipline, I felt like we were getting close to figuring out what worked and what didn't. We had rules of thumb (more general than Patterns) and code smells.
Then JavaScript came in and no one had time to think about "engineering" anymore. I'm fine with MVP and small iterations, but the disdain I see for making code clean and extendable and improvable is baffling (and annoying). First-time coders might never have had to fix someone else's code, but two weeks in a chair should have fixed that.
It's not that understanding code is so hard (although it can be); understanding the _intent_ is hard. This MVP is great, but when no one had time to document what is actually supposed to happen, programmers have to reverse-engineer the *design*.4 -
This popped up on Best Buy while I was looking around for ideas for my next chair. Somehow I don't think they are on speaking terms with their daughter anymore 🤣1
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Ever have those fucking days where you want to “chair-to-face” every should-have-been condom baby that crosses your path?
Fuck I want to get off this roller coaster ride already... Only a few more months.
Get the fuck out of my way, Martha... Your mother should have swallowed.1 -
I present to you the rubber duck I use for debugging.
that's right I dont have one. I just to talk to myself really. but what's curious is that when I do this, I tend to cock my head to a side, or turn slightly in my chair as if I was talking to someone just behind me. I didnt realize I was doing this until my cousin pointed it out to me coz it was creeping her out.
let me also mention that I used to have an imaginary friend growing up. his name's Jesse. I dont know if it really is just a weird mannerism or maybe I was still subconsciously talking to him.3 -
[context: sitting in a chair, posting a comment here in devRant]
Other Person (jokingly): "That doesn't look like volunteer work, that looks like texting!"
Me (awkwardly): "Haha, yeah..."
Me (internally): If only I had people to text...3 -
My computer is so out of date at this point, I measure compile time by the amount of times I can spin around on my chair, I'm at 48, if I get to 50 I think something magic might happen.2
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Got new chair 🙌 finally after 2 months of sitting on crappy chairs, and I moved to a new place. Here it is, I’m very excited to work in this setup, starting tomorrow 🎉(smaller keyboard and stand is planned 😎)3
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Yesterday my cousin called me to fix his scanner, he said that it didn't work anymore. When i went to his house to check it out, the scanner worked properly! In the 99% of cases, the problem is between the device and the chair2
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Had to refresh a group session in my program, spent 15 minutes looking at my phone, put my bare feet on my desk and did this thing where I lean back in my chair and stick both hands in my pants, possibly smelled one. Thats when I realized my camera was on the entire time. Was also the only other person on stage/presenting so my screen was directly next to the instructors face cam.
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I rarely tell this story because it's hard to believe and would show me in a bad light if people don't believe its details. I know there have been foolish moves from my part, and more stuff should have been agreed to in writing, and I did step into a legal grey area. However I am pleased with what I did and how it all turned out, and this is as close to the truth as possible without needing to explain too many details.
I was once a team lead in an outsourcing company. We had a flexible payment plan depending on results. That helped me motivate myself and my team. Things worked great.
But then the boss started acting like shit:
1. Flexible payment means minimum, right?
2. Promises are made to be broken, as long as your employees have hope and work overtime for a whole month just to finish an important project before schedule, right?
3. Who needs a good, comfortable, SAFE work environment when you can save 30$ on not buying a new crappy chair in place of the old broken crappy chair, if it can be maintained standing by just a bit of duct tape and careful balancing on it? It's not like that developer who earns 30$ per hour has anything else to think about than balancing on a broken chair, right?
I'm a very calm person at work. I never ever raised my voice at anyone for 10 years of my career. Except this situation. I pulled the boss out of the office so his secretary wouldn't hear what I had to say. I threw this everything into his face.
A guy from sales got out of the office to go to the bathroom, and when he heard me, he carefully snuck back into the office (I didn't see him. He told me this over a beer after he left).
Of course I quit on the spot, convinced most of my team members to leave (wasn't hard, I just had to offer a secure plan, which I did), and helped my team members to get good positions elsewhere, and assisted others in starting their own business, by stealing customers from this company (the asshole did not foresee this when he prepared the labour contracts), after he accused me of plagiarism (that I stole code from somewhere else) and used that excuse to not pay me what we agreed upon.
I didn't want litigation. I just used karma, while remaining in the legal realm.
Within a month after this, more than half of his company was gone, and he was left with only a fraction of the revenue he was making before, since the only ones left were people that did not produce value (sales that had nothing to sell, accounting that had nothing to account, etc.), and just one person maintaining one remaining contract that was bringing barely enough money to sustain half of these people.
Now I want to congratulate you for actually finishing reading this :)1 -
Story from when game disks were in fashion
I asked my best buddy to burn a disk of GTA vice city so that I can install it on my desktop.
The next day when I receive the disk and insert it into my PC I almost fell of my chair laughing cause that douche bag had copied the icon from his desktop to the disk and burned it .
I almost fell laughing not because what he did , but because he did so when he was in his final year of his IT degree 🤣🤣🤣3 -
I fucking love my job. The boss just bought all the devs, QA and support guys brand new sit/stand desks and gaming chairs. Those chairs are so damn comfy! :)2
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For me there are two kinds of bugs. The ones where you lean backward and the ones where you lean forward.
If you found a bug and you lean backwards in your chair resting your hands behind your head you feel proud and relieved that you found that sneaky bastard. Good for your dev soul.
If you lean forward, resting your forehead on your fists or on the desk then it was a very stupid bug. Not sneaky at all. Something plain obvious. It makes you doubting all your career and life choices you made so far. Like needing one hour to find out that you named the "MANIFEST.in" accidentally "MAINFEST.in"...
Want to share any embarrassing bugs to make me smile again?5 -
Microsoft engineer walks into my room. we need to join your laptop to the domain, as part of the migration and upgrade company policy. so I give the guy my laptop. The guy has an agonizing look on his face! He goes. This is linux! Mind you all this time am nodding and bouncing on my chair. The guy bolts from my room, as if he was going to report direct to Bill Gates. Apparently the dev team was left out in the whole migration plan!5
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I am currently doing my first ever internship. It is a medium-ish sized IT company and I basically do stuff in networking and software development. I sit on my chair, wheel it back and forth the small space behind my desk for like and hour. Then I go to the cafeteria, eat whatever is there (it’s absolutely free? Hopefully). There is a pool table which is always occupied. Then I sit in the lab and configure routers till 8 in the night. Boring.
I am developing a management system side by side so I break my head over server side routes (seriously, they are confusing) over the night.
So coffee is my mantra and boring is my life.2 -
When your new build is compiling and just scooting right along so you think... sure, I could go for some food. No. Nope. Not even. It chooses the exact moment you leave to nope the fuck out completely with the most random compiler errors that you would have never seen had you just been sitting there in the chair. It's like it knows. Maybe next time I leave I'll promise to bring it back a taco.1
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I don't understand 'flex' work spots, meaning you choose a different place to sit every day at work. I am a tiny person and most of the people I will work with are giant dutch guys. I need a low ass desk and chair so I can actually see my screen and touch the fucking floor. Let me have my spot, thank you.5
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Seriously, why are so many companies caught up with if there developers working from home or not? Maybe it's where I'm at, but my last boss said ...
" I know you don't have any problem making deadlines and your a good worker, but you still need to come to the office in order to have face to face interaction."
Me: "This is the first face to face conversation I've had with someone in over a week."
Boss: (shrugs)"our goal is to build an office friendly environment where people will enjoy coming into the office"
Me: in my head "your an idiot"... Out loud "Ok"
...
In reality my custom built machine is better than yours, and I'm more productive in my Sealy Posturpedic chair and pajamas than your wack office chair with you popping your head out of your office every couple hours to "manage" me when you haven't written code in years and i have to teach you things that you bring to your boss to make yourself look smart.15 -
Headphones, a quiet room, a comfortable chair, something to drink (coffee, red bull, water, tea) and something that is interesting enough to totally focus on.4
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Today I spent 3 hours working on a bug. As usual, the issue was on the chair/keyboard interface...3
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After ranting last night about my cat, not allowing me access to my key.
Today she didn't let me sit on my own goddamn chair.......2 -
I have a dedicated office space at home with a huge desk that was given to me by my mom and stepdad as a gift with a really nice chair that my wife got for me. It has a nice long whiteboard to write whatever it is I am doing, a bookshelf with tons of coding books and guitar magazines and shit. A closet with good space and in a corner sits my guitar and amp.
Where can I be located during coding hours? In the floor, on the living room, using a box to put one of my laptops in.
Why am I like this?2 -
When you walk to the yard with a lappy to code some stuff in the nature, smth comes up and you leave your lappy running on a chair for 6+ hours, then finally remember it and it still has >75% juice w/o being suspended.
Sweet!10 -
Me: Ugh i want to try a hackintosh again but all my SSD's are in my PC already and its not worth spending $100 for a small one...
*Leans back in chair literally knocking 3 SSD's off my shelf* -
Yeah these fucking assholes lost a 300 pound gaming chair at my local depot for 3 weeks where I eventually got a refund from Amazon. I ordered a USB desk fan for the heat off ebay, yeah these fucking cunts delivered it to my workplace at 9pm.
Guess who is building my companies new ecommerce platform, where I am currently integrating the shipping options. Fuck off Yodel.7 -
When you work for a company where the guy next to you leans back and falls of his chair smashing into a fan all over the shop you look for people to laugh and take the piss call him a dick and no one else bats a eyelid and just keeps coding, you know you life is over in this job!!!3
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just might have optimised myself away by recommending a software to my boss which does 90% of the tools i'm maintaining right now...wondering if i will still be in this chair next year3
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What is more essential? A good CPU or a good GPU?
Me --- A good ergonomic chair.
After working 16 hours at a stretch I got a fucking bad back pain ..
Oh godddd!!!!!!! Kill me Please !!!!!3 -
Woke up super late (evening), was planning to work on my personal project, but didn't have a table where I can comfortably code and sketch out my ideas.
Hence, dressed up immediately and went to a furniture shop.
Getting table, chair and a bed (which I was planning for a long time) tomorrow.
Gonna just sit and code whole day tomorrow...2 -
ok, well, I have a list of worst interview experiences. here is one. This was my very first job interview.
[Things differ with places, but where I live, we give a lot of respect to teachers, interviewers etc]
It was my turn for the interview and I forgot to knock the door. The interviewer didn't like that. But I guess he ignored.
I also forgot to ask to get in. So, instead of pointing out my mistake, he taunted me. When I was already in, in front of him, he looked at me and said "Yh, come in!" as in, you forgot to ask that. But I was already more then, just in.
I felt sorry, quietly sat down on the chair. when I was well settled on my chair, he looked at me and said "Yh! sit down please!". Again reminding me I forgot to ask him to sit down.
Should I have apologized atleast? I forgot to do so! So he reminded me again, "Oh that's okay! don't say sorry."
It was enough embarrassing for me already when I hadn't even utter a word. I don't give a damn about interviews anymore, but well, that was my first one! You must know that feel.
Well, he was quite happy with the rest of the interview, so at the end of it he told me "it's okay it usually happens initially. You'll get used to it pretty soon." I ignored that later but could never forget how it all started. 😂🎃2 -
Late night after everyone has slept, switching on all the 3 monitors, reclining on a comfortable chair, fetching some snacks and coffee by the table gives me the perfect mood to code!
There is silence all around 😌2 -
Remember to exercise kids!
My back is dying. Work equipment is great, but at home my posture is screwed from my chair not going high enough and my desk being too high for my arms to be parallel.4 -
Currently i am working as a student at a teaching chair for embedded systems, so my boss is the professor there and the subject of this weeks story 😄
He is very passionate about his field and keeps close contact to the students and their representatives.
He invests a lot of resources into getting students to learn and make projects and pays us to supervise a hands on course for students to build IoT projects.
As employees we get to work on interesting projects and he listens to us and our concerns if we feel a project is having certain problems.1 -
Ah transports
Minding my own business in a crowded train, listening to full blast music. As the song changes I sort of heard an announcement but didn't get the subject.
Guy in front of me does a 180° and starts talking to me. I thought he wanted some guidance, so I removed my headset and never did I regret more doing that, that guy just went on and on about his life and stuff that I don't care about, until he got off his stop. Ironically, before he left off he said "you know my mama always told me that you should ignore people you're not interested in" (Forest Gump Swiss edition? He didn't have a box of chocolates though)
I was like "yes, fuck off, not interested in your bullshit", but well, noticed he might be sensitive.
After he left some teens just came and pretended I didn't exist as they invaded my corporal space. Pushed one gently as he was leaning on to me a bit too much.
People must see me as a help point, you know those terminals where you can browse stuff... That's me. The Father of them all.2 -
When I started working as designer my boss at that time liked to invite people to remote control me, sit or stand behind my neck to explain their will and tell me to do this, "can we try this?", "can it be changed to another color?", "is it possible to move logo to the left?" and all that m*f*cking shit.
It didn't take long before I decided that I wouldnt accept that anymore.
They come with that energy, that illusion of power to play god with your fast mouse...
The first solution was to stand up with them around the chair and tell them I would take notes, then do the changes and mail them. That worked but sometimes it didn't feel right for the boss who got mad and tried to handle the mouse like trying to pretend she was going to do it...
In case the visit was by surprise I used this method, not sitting in worst position. Just recover dignity standing to their commaning stance.
The best and what became the real solution was printing things we needed, receive and guide clients to a meeting room where we would discuss things and take notes on the papers.2 -
How fucking spam can harm you in real life: While I worked on smt and drinking coffee (of course) the phone vibrated and I catch for it automatically. The phone was fallen on the coffee and ruined rug, phone, table and chair (no keyboard). After I dried phone I were discovered that it was SPAM.3
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All day long I'm adjusting this chair up but it just keeps slowly going back down. Time to go back to a standing desk I guess.
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Lately my sister's sound wasn't working. So i came over to see, whats wrong. Her boyfriend was also there, who claims to be a programmer himself, so i asked myself why he hasn't already solved the issue. But instead of asking, i just got on her computer and looked around.
First, i checked the audio jack, which was plugged in normally. There's a little wheel on the table, controlling the volume. There was a little light on it, shining. I assumed, it had to be a software problem and got into Windows' Audio Manager. Everything was okay. I spent the next 10 minutes checking EVERYTHING, even tried a restart (obviously changed nothing, but you never know ;D ). Drivers, Audio Settings, everything was okay.
Desperately I leant back in the chair and shot some looks around. Turns out, the plug wasn't plugged in. *facepalm*
The little light, shining on the wheel, seems to get its power through the audio jack.
It's always the simplest thing.3 -
Hey boss,
Here’s a letter for you.
First of all, thank you for the stable job and advantages we have as a small business in the middle of the alps.
Following that, FUCK YOU.
Why? Because of the retarded clients I have to deal with because they’re your friends. Because I have to spend more energy doing fucking politics instead of doing IT. We have people that like t bla bla. Send them, not me.
Close me in a basement with a computer, a bunch of screens, a comfortable chair and a package of cigarettes. I’ll write Google from scratch for you if I need to (not sure I could at all). But please, stop fucking sending me to morons with the same IQ level of a sheep. And sheeps are more clever sometimes.
And last but not the least. Learn to fucking dress accordingly. We’re not in a gay pride but in a business.8 -
When Microsoft shuttered Windows XP, my mom's old laptop became a virus-prone, sluggish machine. She let me have it, soon after which I decided to install Ubuntu on it. One thing I should note about this laptop is that the battery could not hold a charge. The power cord was the laptop's life support, and I made sure to place the power brick on a flat surface.
One day, a new version of Ubuntu was released. I decided to perform a dist-upgrade. Because this laptop was on the older side, the ventilation left a lot to be desired by today's standards. Rather than roast my crotch, I placed my computer on the table and the power brick on a swivel chair next to me.
I was working on an assignment for a class when I saw movement in my peripheral vision. I turned and watched in horror as my power brick fell off the chair, pulling the charging cord out of the laptop and turning off the laptop... MID-UPGRADE!
Moral of the story, learn to navigate a computer via a text interface if you haven't already. It may save your ass someday. It saved mine.2 -
Anytime I have to Google something. Which is all the time. I doubt myself all the time. Also, when coding our robot and it randomly shot backwards and ripped through a couple table and chair legs. That happened too.2
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Joined this company today. Arrived early. Formalities completed. Now I'm sitting at my chair doing nothing. Pretty boring.14
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The client in my previous two rants officially hired me as their Head of Tech Support.
I moved into the tech support office today, with a super comfy ergonomic chair and a huge table.
If only there's someone else here...... -
* Makes popcorn*
*Finds comfy chair*
So guys, what's the worst piece of crapy software you've used.
I'm taking dibs on windows update15 -
I lost my bike key in office yesterday and searched hell out of everywhere like in office, in my bag, in others bags (never know who can prank you), even we were searching in everyone's drawer but we were unable to find it so we went out an checked if I dropped it near canteen or anywhere out in office area using mobile flashlight at night for like 2 hours. So we just lost hopes and went to home by bus.
So today we went to shop and bought the new lock assembly and while we were heading back to office our QA called me laughing and telling "we found it, it was stuck in your chair and it fell out while the cleaning guy was cleaning it.!"
Luckily the shopkeeper took lock assembly back as it is laughing and gave us full refund.1 -
ah yes, the usual family get-together: my grandma's throwing heavy shit with intent to kill, my sister is violently crying in a corner and refuses to move to safety, and my dad's shut down in a chair somewhere in the house. Just like every Christmas. And Thanksgiving. And Halloween. And every other large holiday.
Surprised I made it to 19.3 -
Been sitting in this Chair for Well over 5 hours now trying to setup virtualization on this Debian Server.
EVERYTHING IS FUCKING OUTDATED.
NO PROPER DOCS.
NO NOTHING.
FUCK THIS IM GOING TO SLEP7 -
Bought myself a standing desk (one that rests on top of an existing desk), a new chair with good lumbar support and a few other office bits and pieces before the end of the tax year in the UK. I didn't think I'd be able to put them through my Ltd Co next year because of IR35 changes, but they have been delayed now.
The only thing I don't have yet at home is dual monitors. Otherwise the setup feels great. 30 Mins sitting followed by 30 Mins standing is doing wonders for my old back3 -
I've just received an urgent bug report email saying something like:
Stop sending [item] to destination. This should have been taken care of in the initial work, but we forgot to say so.
... The work they requested was that [item] gets sent to destination if the user checks a checkbox. If I wasn't supposed to build this, then what did they want me to build in the first place?!1 -
When you sit at your desk peacefully doing nothing and a coworker calls you.
Almost fell off my chair... -
Restored from my backup. My home town 2004 setup, floppy disk drives, sound blaster audio card, dial up us robotics modem, nokia 3310 on the chair, lg hifi with cassette tape and cd, unitra amplifier, equalizer and sound columns. Panorama made using olympus c-720 uz.
Funny times ^^
Edit:
high res image
https://vane.pl/content/images/...4 -
Few weeks back, I have subscribed /r/battlestations and drooling everyday. Now with this latest devRant news, it's time to save money or sell my ass on street to
1) buy a wide monitor or monitors
2) buy backlit keyboard and mouse
3) buy a good desk
4) buy a good chair
5) buy/rent a room with enough space
Forget about buying and setting up a good unit, I can just use my potato laptop for one photo taking. *dry-laugh*
(∩︵∩)2 -
Finally invested the money in a proper and ergonomic office chair, and it is the best money I've spent in a long time. The difference is really night and day!2
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For the past 5+ years all I’ve heard from DevA and DevB is what a mess our source control is, we should be using our own custom nuget feeds,..Monday morning quarterback this…Monday morning quarterback that.
This year the department manager gave them the green light to start from scratch. Like ‘green field’ start from scratch. If I were involved, I would have been excited with such an opportunity.
For the past two hours all I’ve heard is ..
DevA: “What should we call this namespace?”
DevB: “I don’t know, I can’t make that decision.”
DevA: “Yea, that’s a business decision. Let’s call it Common for now.”
DevB: “Yea, it’s stupid, but we can change it later.”
DevA: “What about logging project?”
DevB: “Well, how about Core? Every project should have a Core.”
DevA:”Ha ha…like .Net Core. I like it.”
On and on…it’s all I can do from throwing my chair right now.1 -
How I program at home
Leading back in my chair throwing a stress ball in the air listening to a YouTube video on how thanos is the boss baby cartoon randomly shouting F**k and furiously typing before my idea goes away
How I program at school/work
Stares at screen muttering swears and wanting to take a nap while googling basic sh*t1 -
Dear Facebook.
FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING CUNTS.
The next time you upgrade your piece of shit application on iOS and remove stuff from their place which makes me search all the way your crap battery vacuum application until i fuckin find it i will come to your office find that dumb zuckerberk and push the fuckin chair he sits at down to his throat.
Same goes for your retarded website.
Suckers.1 -
Fuck you apache server...
Why did your dumb ass developers decide it was a good idea to not support "expect 100 continue headers". I seriously suspect that the devs were high smoking dragon dildo ashes like they were getting ready to get a whole chair shoved up their asses.
I wasted alot of time thinking i was getting a 417 http code because i fucked up my API implementation... No, it was the dumb apache server that decided to give me the finger.
Also, whoever built the HttpClient for .net framework 4... Fuck you too for automatically adding that dumb header to PUT requests and not properly documenting this or allowing for it to be disabled in a non hacky way.
I appreciate and enjoy solving coding problems... I, however, can't stand dumb decisions like the two above. -
I came to work early. Found myself a really good chair. In the "Staffs" channel on Slack told everyone that I rubbed my balls all over the chair. I guess this should stop someone from stealing this chair.
Related Rant:
https://devrant.com/rants/1637740/...6 -
Apparently we're playing musical chairs at work... I work from home for one day and now my chair is missing. If you borrow a chair put it back where you found it. It's common courtesy.1
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Dear classmates,
I know our school is shitty as hell, that there is a fucking monitor missing and cables flying around.
BUT DON'T DARE TO LIE TO ME AGAIN. "Can you please move one to the right you're blocking the chair and we want to sit together". YES I KNOW. BUT DO YOU HAVE SEEN, THERE IS A FUCKING COMPUTER MISSING, MAYBE THAT'S WHY I AM SITTING HERE, NOT BECAUSE I'M DUMB AS FUCK AND DON'T SEE I AM BLOCKING A CHAIR!
"We can change later, but we want to sit here for now"
OH YEAH I KNOW. LIKE THE 20 OTHER TIMES YOU LIED TO ME WITH THAT IT'S JUST TEMPORARY. And then you come with come on don't be so childish and your friends start doing so too. WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ONE TIME ON MY FUCKING PLACE AND STOP ANNOYING ME AS HELL JUST BECAUSE PEOPLE FOLLOW YOU AND LET ME JUST SIT AT MY FUCKING PLACE.
I AM NOT CHILDISH, I AM JUST NOT BELIEVING IN THESE LIES. WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO SIT THERE TEMPORARY? IT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE...3 -
New floor opened in our office building last month or so.. they are filling it and now there is lack of chairs. So we typically can pay musical chair @office. This is my wallpaper made using gimp5
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Not joining the weekly rant.
But had a haunted dream last night and it was definitely weird.
Dreamed that I was at my childhood house and opened the door of my room. Found literally nothing. Just empty room. Got scared (for whatever reason) and run to my mom. Came back to the room with her. Opened the door. Everything was in it's place; bed, chair, table etc.
I didn't watch any scary movie for the past few months. There was one scary dream few months/weeks ago and I wrote about it. And now this. 🤔1 -
A new team member joined us today. After introduction, he grabbed a chair. F*** YOU, IT'S JUST YOUR FIRST DAY BUT YOU'D GRAB KATE'S CHAIR WHO JUST TOOK A COFFEE BREAK?! PET PEEVES I HATE CHAIR GRABBERS3
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A friend of mine once asked me to send an entire TV series as an attachment to an email.
I fell off the chair laughing.
As I got back on it, I realised we aren't far away from that day. 🤘🏻1 -
Fun fact. I work for a 20-year old company that does software which mostly does print outputs. 95% of our clients actually use it specifically and exclusively to print their invoice runs. There are over 25 printers in this office, 5 of which are within chair-rolling distance of my desk.
I don't know how to use or fix any of them. I must be a *really bad* developer. >.<3 -
Just passed 2 to 3 hours learning how to model a chair when I was almost at the end my pc shutdown randomly, I lost everything... Thank you life.3
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Hey guys! I just started to code and now I think I am in depression :)) I'm working my way with swift and Xcode, and I'm trying to build a project. BUT! as soon as I managed to solve a freaking huge problem, I got hit by a small one and tried to fix it all day but nothing helped. no inspiration, no nothing. And now I am sitting in my chair, writing this post and questioning my entire life and what I am going to do with it...11
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I can’t say much about this, but there is one thing.
When you go for the interview, and if the interview is in the same working place you will be working at, check the office, working tables/chair, pc/laptop, accessories etc.
You may think these are not much important but believe me, when the company hesitates to invest these things in you, think how can they invest on your knowledge, and other things..
It means they don’t care about you, you are just $ for them.2 -
which one is better?
sitting on a comfortable chair with foot rest,
having very powerful computer,
having the best IDE's with UI designers,
ML based auto completions,
Free food. but $4000 per month
or
sitting on an average chair without foot rest,
having average computer,
having only notepad or vim*, without UI designers
NO auto completions!
paid food. but $40000 per month
* Vim is actually very nice text editor7 -
Starts with a table and chair and finally ends up on the bed.
I don't really think I need to explain the `why` part here.2 -
Just woke up after a 1/2 hour nap at work, on my desk chair. I was woke up by someone who violently closed a door in another room. Uuh... Need some sleep1
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Is it OK to bludgeon the noisy, moaning, constantly negative 'devs' sitting opposite (and who deliver nothing) with my chair?4
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So I'm in a meeting with the Company director where I'm contracting for a few months. She is explaining the company history, goals etc. I can feel my eyes drooping, my head tilting and my body sloooowly sliding of my chair. Im literally fighting to stay awake. She is about to explode and go crazy BUT the business manager flies in explains to her that I have a medical condition known as narcolepsy...meaning I could be half way through a conversation and I fall asleep and it's not anything more than that
....When she said my name is thought to myself yep I'm outta here...4 -
Maybe we should have some kind of DX racer chairs for our avatar. I'm getting one soon (my current one hurts my back).1
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Sitting on a hot chair in this hot weather working on a hot laptop to fix some ..... not very hot code.1
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Best work I have ever done was done on a beach, in a lounge chair with a beer in my hand and laptop on the lap.
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Uhhhhh, it's do damn hot today :-P The thermometers are just lying! It says 21° but it feels like ... 51° Hope my ass won't melt down and bind me to the chair.13
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Does anyone have lower back pain after coding for a few hours? How did you fix it? What chair do you have? It's it a posture problem?8
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Three weeks of spending at least three hours with my computer everyday, and my back is officially in pain.
Funny how priorities change. Now I really want to invest in a good chair or maybe a beanbag.4 -
Working from home with a cat... hear a strange noise and turn my chair. Cat is now hanging on for dear life and looking at me with utter betrayal.
It seems she only wanted attention... always. Especially when I’m working.1 -
ME: Ugh can't even swap this laptop for a mac of any sort, only have people offering to sell one...
*Leans back in chair and think's how cheap I could build a hackintosh for*
ME: Wait a fucking second, I have OSX El Capitan with clover installed on a USB...
It's fucking working! :-D -
when you work in a start up, and they give you the projects lead old chair, which has broken. doesn't go up or down, doesn't lock, and is ripped in several places.
I'm really feeling the love. hello sore back... -
when you spend more time in JIRA explaining the client that their bug is not a bug but misconfiguration on their side than actual programming. :-/
error between chair and keyboard.1 -
Doea anybody have some kind of a trick to correct my back posture? I look like a sneek nowadays spending 9 hours in my chair.3
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I swear I still cannot figure out how to adjust my chair comfortably for the life of me, and I don't want to embarrass myself by sitting down on the ground and spend 30 minutes figuring out how to make the back not fall when I lean back.3
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This happened 2 years ago. With 1 year c++ application development experience in a big firm, the new company hired me as "intern". That moment I was like ok ok whatever then the nightmare began. They forced me to code on windows xp with visual studio200x with an old ass c++ (much older than my previous work, there's no string data type) and it has to work on IE. I told my supervisor that this code is obsolete and I need a new windows, IDE, and newer c++ to work on. He said he will get it done. 1 month passed I still sat my ass on the same chair with an old ass pc in front of me. Best thing I could do was designing a new web ui yet they still force me to work on their unfinished obsoleted codes. Well u know what? I quit 😒3
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0. A good comfortable chair, one that does not hurt my fat ass and back
1. GPUs, lots of them so that I can train my models faster
2. Patience to endure the stupidity of people3 -
Lels....i think we have the day off and no one in my team told me so :V so here I am sitting at work waiting to see someone walk through the door. In all honesty. I would not mind :v my work pc os fairly powerful and I can do with the comfy chair.
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So a SQL server walks into a bar to grab a drink. He gets his drink and spots a table with two people sitting down with a spare chair. So he walks up to them and says "Hey, can I JOIN you two?"1
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Lots of great things about working from home – no, really – but something about my home desk/keyboard/chair set up is really fucking up my shoulder, and this is not fun.3
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A good room with a good connection and good table and chair and good bed. And no other person.
Sadly I don't own it yet.2 -
Have you all ever had an hypocondriac colleague? Like, the kind of colleague that will freak out everytime something minor isn't exactly as in his plans?
I have this colleague that DID freak out because, while making the integration of some website's footer, I set the SCSS for the social networks inside a "footer.scss" instead of "social-medias.scss". Dude even called the project manager to ask him about how he should handle that.
So, I had to go behind that colleague's chair and make him copy line by line the SCSS that was in the "wrong" file to put it in the right file. Why line by line, you may ask? Because I had to explain him why and how each of these lines were required to match what was asked in the models.
Not to mention how he freaked out because I (wrongfully, ok) used "fill" instead of "color" to change an SVG's color.
Keep it simple, stupid.7 -
I hate afternoon slump I just fell asleep in my chair at least I didn't snore or drool on my keyboard too late for a cup of coffee but I need something.
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Get out of that chair and stop worrying about the "precious". Its a trap. Take a walk, sip tea and let your mind wander my young padwan.
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My chair at the office, it's arms are broken, but I don't mind it very much, because I care about my company and want them to buy my whenever they have extra money4
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Hey devRanters. Which position are you guys using for your workplace?
I'm sitting a lot of the time, but move a bit around in the chair. Every 30-45 mins I stand up an walk a bit.6 -
They're all waiting in line to buy the new Iphone X while I'm sitting on my chair waiting for my brand new Nexus 5 to be delivered 🤗
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I think I would be much more efficient if I didn't have to sit on a chair and look at the screen while coding. Often it is so hindering to type with my fingers and I just wish I could code directly with my brain. 😶
Should I take a break? 😂1 -
I personally like to sit with my laptop on my bed when I code. I just lean my pillows up against the wall and lay into them. It's just a comfortable spot and I like it. I've never cared much for sitting in a chair at a desk, which is also why I have my desk right next to my bed! (I've been told my setup is very unusual.)6
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Customer Service(cs): clients complaining our site crashes on their computer
Support: they dont have enough resources, its their computer
CS: customers still complaining, how do we fix this?
Support: tell them to get a better computer
CS: lets borrow their information and see whats going on
Support: reluctantly moves customer data over
CS: I dont see anything wrong here. It works just fine
Support: ... ... ... -
First rant;
First of all I am an applied computer science student in the second semester.
We've got a few assignments and the first set went fine but this last week boy ohh boy - first of all today I got noticed by one of my two teammates that the other one won't get stuff done in this assignment (he also did next to nothing in the first)
Also the the assignment is unclear and the given methods and parameters don't care about naming conventions (for one method I don't even know what it should do). Also we have to use new liberies (java.io etc.) and learn them on our own so far it would be okay, the time limit is two weeks, also doable
BUT the same chair also made one assignment for web development with the same deadline and also no explanation how to do stuff.
I don't say I am perfect but the expectations are too high, while also studying for other modules1 -
this.type = PostType.FEATURE_REQUEST;
What about adding a Racing Chair as a chair in the Avatar Designer.1 -
I adore working from home. However there is one negative I’ve found and that is moving my wheeled chair on carpet 😒4
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Sit in a reclining chair, put my head back, close my eyes, take a deep breath and whisper to myself,
“Fuck this shit. It’s not worth it.”
Gets me through the most stressful moments. -
Does anyone own an Emperor chair? Considering getting one as my legs are never comfortable in a chair and my neck is always stiff despite good posture. Link: http://mwelab.com/en/emperor.html/1
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When you've been pair programming to help solve a collegue's problem, only to come back to a cold chair again.2
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Covid rant
I had my last day at previous job in mid Jan, and 1st day at new job, thousands of km accross the country, in another city, in Feb.
I had great difficulty in finding an apartment that's decent and close to my office. Finally got one with a hefty rent for 1BHK, hefty brokerage and a hefty sum as security deposit; in March. Within a week, I spent shit load of money buying things, like a new fridge, washing machine, chair, table etc...
Didn't live there for 7 days, as soon as the lockdown started.
Every month my heart shatters paying the rent :(
17.5k INR :(6 -
There are those few days in a sprint that could be extremely busy like these days.
Few days ago someone grabbed a chair, sat next to me asking questions and the chair is still there.
This week i have learnt that the chair is so dangerous, looking very inviting. -
So basically after some vacations, I got to my new work, they gave me a brand new chair (very confortable I must say) my pc, and I started downloading my IDE, my text editor, and all that, But my user is not a administrator, sooooo basically I have done jack shit
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Now due to march ending is around the corner, manager will frustrate and put employee on the edge of chair and doing shitty work just because illiteracy of boss. Literally hated this part of work.
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Once i came to work to see my screens, keyboard, mouse, computer, cables, chair and even the table properly packed in food film. All things were at their place and actually could have worked like that.
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!rant
Getting a chair with a straight back and lumbar cushion makes it sooo comfortable to sit, it's amazing.
I just got a DXRacer chair and my back feels it's hugged and supported from every side possible. And doesn't hurt anymore.
Do yourself a favor and get one.1 -
My project late for 2 weeks to deliver to our client cause of my dev,
Me: When you will finish your task?
Dev: this weekend, it’s only bla bla bla
But he never finish his task on time.
I am plan to cut $100 from his bonus to buy new chair for us, what do you think? Or any idea?
PS: My dev will see this rant8 -
old MATLAB versions are such a pain
I can't even check if a char array (sort of a string) contains another char array.
MATLAB is like a sports car for mathematics, but a broken wheel chair for actual programming...... -
So work today was a pain in the behind as usual ( although the comfy chair made up for it eventually)....My Boss walked in every twenty minutes to ask me the same annoying question." Are you done with the app?", He said....even after showing him over 6045 lines of code on a single config file
Why are bosses so mean?😥3 -
@dfox would love to be able to get a dxracer chair for the avatar. that way i can be jealous of myself :D
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"Functionality is so over-valued in design, and we’ve kept design very small in that way. Functionality is the sheer minimum. If your house burns down, what do you take? The cat in the window that you got from your mother, or the chair you have?" - Marcel Wanders6
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I saw few rants about "working in a box". Isn't that legacy technique and we all are now working in open space?I have auto adjusting chair that costs more than my month salary, desk which raises when I push button, console rooms etc etc
Still some thinks that we are slaves of companies working 'in the boxes '. If you are on devrant and you agree with this kind of jokes I must say that you have chosen a bad place to work ;( -
I hate when I got a workshop to sharpen my skills and my boss wants me to do nothing but sit on a chair instead of learning... taking me out of the workshop
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My lecturer gets a fucking high five in the face with a chair. An assignment required us to submit a video via his provided media. I followed the simple 27.6 steps that the media requested and I submitted the video. Come results, his comments say he sees that there was a video submission being attempted, but since he could not find the video he decided to give me a 0 as opposed to contacting me prior to marking and asking for resubmission.. It's probably easy being a lecturer cuz you're the one with the degree...1
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Ok,
So when at work I love working from Jira/TFS and having little interaction when i'm battling through Code/Documentation
But Next time my manager strolls over to my desk and kicks my chair i'm Gona King Leonidas his ass out the 3rd floor window
FFS please reach out via Lync if u are planning to come up and annoy my tits!!!!!! -
This is my new girlfriend (hope she last more than the latest one). As well, I'm actually thinking she's gonna be replaced by a better one in the future. I feel like a king of kings now reading and writing on my desk sitting in here.2
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my first project was a star trek themed text based rpg adventure. it was a hell of spaghetti of if queries and gotos in gw basic. later these kind of things got something like an ui.
my first experience was my father doing mandelbrot sets from a magazine and i was watching building them up green pixel for greenpixel on an 8086 pc. it was raining outside and i was sitting in an arm chair with a warm blanket. this cozy feeling remains until today and might explain my personal attachment for this topic.
fortunately his failed attempt to introduce me into programming doing a morsecode translator did not stop me for long. -
Professor who never stood up from her chair during any of our lectures and read directly from her powerpoint. When it came to projects, she would deduct points because there was something we didn't implement BUT it wasn't in the specifications or in her instructions.
We did not enjoy or learn from her. -
Favorite chair for long days on the stack? I saw the Emperor, hella expensive but I'd just need a mini fridge and catheter. My chair is worn and smells like fart, time to replace it.
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Do you ever just slump back in your chair when you decide to fix or lightly edit something and then suddenly a few things break for no reason? I do that a lot, especially when I'm working with Unity2D because the project im working on is in dependency hell. (Or what I, an amateur programmer see as dependency hell)2
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Finally finished my 21h shift...Deploy on production is tomorrow...Back to the chair in a few hours.5
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I know it's probably obvious, but a comfortable desk/workstation/chair is ESSENTIAL for me. I can't be all slouched on the couch and still be productive.
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I take a walk on home, like a caged lion but without the intent to kill, after meditating the roadblock I jump back to my chair and try again.
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As the morning sun moves and shines through my window in various different angles, my chair and keyboard automatically moves with it.
Huh, strange.1 -
Soo my workplace is shared with my wife and mine is located in the corner where only a size of a pedestal can fit in!! On the other side, I bought a good gaming chair nice and comfy but I cant use it!!
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Which DB good in group and sum operation?
I have an entity like
Chair {
id,
count: x
appartment_id,
floor_id,
build_id
}
And I need a group by appartment_id OR floor_id OR build_id and sum count.5