Nope, I'm out.
After easing the millionth post of "I want to make the switch to linux", "my teacher is soo stupid lmao", and "I want to learn xy but don't know how please help, I'm an idiot!" I quit.

This place has nothing to offer me anymore. I am, apparently, too old for this place. That's fine. I'll show myself out.

Pass my state examination ✅
Kid on the way ✅
Job locked down ✅

"Google Home requires access to your location to find nearby devices"

Get fucked, Google.

Get. Fucked.

Reading through the devRant feed recently is like reading the acceptance speech of pseudo celebs for questionable awards.

Sometimes I commit fixes for issues on my crypto exchange api repos without testing them and tell the issue author to test it themselves because "I don't have api keys for the respective api" to test it.

I'm fully registered on every exchange from here to Japan. 🙄

"Hi! I love your work on github! I'm planning a cryptocurrency exchange and am currently looking for a developer to work with. Would you be interested in working with me and if so, how much would it cost?"

*reply*

>His face when he sees my hourly rate

🕯️🕯️💰💰🕯️🕯️

What is all this FOSS about?

Every time I see a Boston dynamics video of their robots doing shit. Even if it's just flat falling on their mugs.

Coworker on the phone:
"There. There's the bus. Right over there. The bus full of people who give a shit.

What? You don't see it?

How *odd*.. "

I sent an applicant to the wrong floor when I bumped into him and was asked how to get there, after just having completed an interview with the company he was heading to.

Also, I told him the HR lady was a little deaf so he needs to really speak up when addressing her.

I really wanted that job.

After giving them a 30min talk about the importance of proper commit hygiene and the dos and donts of git, I proceed to commit changes of different nature in 4 files as a single commit named "did stuff".

I lost all authority on the subject forever.

Wah wah wah, my teacher is yelling at me because I wasn't allowed to use my fancy Pant tech instead of what was required because I think it's shit but never bothered to ask for permission beforehand and now I'm bitching about it on here.

Man, eat a bag of dicks. You didn't do what was required, without coordinating with your teacher.

And you think their way of doing shit is retarded? That's essentially every other customer you'll ever have. Grow the fuck up.

Who the fuck still hosts their shit on SourceForge? Pull the cobweb outta your ass and move to a git-based hoster!

"Could you implement a network connection into the project so that people can use it even when they don't have a Internet connection?"

I swear on me mum, if yall motherfuckers don't quit asking for tutorials ima fecking lay yo asses OUT! Not only that programming in python is piss easy, no, how about you just create something useful to you and be done with it?
If you don't have anything of the sorts, here's great advice that you wobbletits should learn right even before you consider picking up programming in general:
Before you mind shattered nimrod ask ANYTHING ANYONE, you fucking GOOGLE that shit. Read a fucking book about it. Hell, ask a motherfucking OUIJA BOARD
for all I care. But show some fucking EFFORT!

God motherfuck off all thats Holy, if the next words outta hideous mugs isn't a rant, I'll cut off your thumbs and Wear them as earrings!

The six stages of debugging:
1. That can't happen.
2. That doesn't happen on my machine.
3. That shouldn't happen.
4. Why does that happen?
5. Oh, I see.
6. How did that ever work?

Whiskey and a project that uses it with an impossible deadline.

If you post about how your program runs on first execution without testing it up until said execution, I will call you a terrible, unprofessional programmer, and an insult to the craft right in your mother's face.

When you're asked about your salary expectations and answer with "45k a year" and the head of engineering that's interviewing you looks like you just asked for more money than he's currently earning, then you're probably applying at a startup.

Whenever someone would like to look up something on my laptop I take a deep, dark pleasure in watching them first struggle to move the mouse with the broken track pad, then drowning in desperation after they realise it's a Linux system with i3-wm.
But alas, I am a generous God and help them with 3 lightning fast keystrokes to open my installed browser - which is eLinks.
That usually does them in 😬

A fine addition to my collection.

Btfxwss - Python-based WSS client for Cryptocurrency exchange Bitfinex

Bitex - Python-based REST API framework for cryptocurrency exchanges

The wife and I decided (together) to change our daily habits and get up early again (together).

It's 6am now, I was rudely awakened by overtly excited dolphin noises (the alarm I set), crawled out of bed towards my coffee machine (for an intravenous pick-me-up) and now sit here, in the kitchen, half an hour later and alone, all while she's sleeping like a beautiful perfect little angel.

I am contemplating whether or not I should powerbomb back into bed to wake her up or just brush my teeth and leave for work, letting her sleep.

Which would be worse, because she'd sleep till, like, 10am, be late and all that.

Well guess what.

When I show a school mate how to send http requests using the requests library, instead of urllib in python

Every unit test for every hobby project for which I ever convinced myself that I'd "add them later".

I know It's time to go to bed when even Socrates needs to look shit up in the pocket reference.

After having been roasted for 2:30h by two of their dev leads, I've been invited to a final interview with the CEO tomorrow.

That feeling when someone stars your git repo.