Joined devRant on 4/22/2017
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GCC: Hey man this is kinda ugly
Me: Oh! Got it, fixed. Thanks my love
ELF: Ummm, hate to break it to you man but I'm segfaultin over here
GCC: I knew something was off!
Me: Alright, alright. Settle down, gentlemen -- we can find a solution to this.
GCC: You mean adding some prints? Okay.
ELF: Hey I'm working alright now
I was curious about how the Genetic Algorithm works, wanted to try it out.
So I've created some toy cars using Three.js and "asked" them to do the self-parking with a little bit of Genetic Algorithm help.
It was fun to see how those toy cars were evolving and actually started to be less stupid :D
Here are some more details:
Dev: Hi manager I have those 13 tasks on me and I won't finish on time.
Manager: Well all those items needs to be finished on Time, how YOU are going to resolve it?
Manager: there is additional defect to check please take it on priority ,it a real easy one , I'll do it my self in 5 min but I'm too busy
Manager : by the end of the day.
Dev: Well it's already end of the day.
Manager: Exactly, I knew I can count on you .
****Next day *****
Manager: Hey sorry to call you on your cell but I see there were no progress on yesterday issue.
Dev : Sorry Manager I'm sick.
Manager : O.K feel well (🤬)
Dev : thank you so much (😎fk you asshole😎)4
Managers should not communicate with a customer then sit on it for a week or two before passing it to a Dev as high priority/fix it now. They also should not say our 'team' is working on it when that team is one person who is also busy with other tasks.1
Incredibly drunk last night.
Decided to take the CD/DVD drive out of my old PC (now a server) and put it into my new gaming PC.
Required a partial rebuild because:
1) GPU was too close to PSU to plug in a new SATA power line
2) CPU cooling lines were directly in the way of the space for the DVD/CD bay
3) Had to route the new power cables of course
Incredibly, even though I couldn't stand, I was able to perfectly execute the maintenance on both machines and I'm even using the new PC to write this rant now.
I must be a God.5
It has been almost two years since I posted anything here.
I just wanted to say Hi.
I will try to be more active on the platform.
I missed you guys!!6
Day 2 of my non tech manager reviewing PRs in order to “speed up QA” he’s taken to commenting on every PR with. “I don’t understand how this code works, we need to setup a meeting for you to explain it to me”. Amazing.7
M: Hi, can you update your pull request title ?
The pull request title: "A pull request title"
Dev: Hey I need something from Team B
Manager: Ok I’ll get it from them now
Dev: Unfortunately they have the current time blocked off as uninterrupted coding time for the next two hours.
Manager: Yeah that means they’re not occupied by anybody else. It’s the best time to get a hold of them!
Is it too much to ask for companies in the current world to be.. oh I don't know.. honest and consistent?
If you advertise on your Job section: "We always give our candidates feedback, whether they got the job or not". Then, *****, give them feedback! I applied and they never got back to me. And no, that's not feedback.6
A coworker asked me for help so they could finish their task on time. That meant that I had to be a bit late for one of mine. They blamed me for delaying the whole team because I didn't finish mine on time. 😕11
Me: 15 years of experience in AWS, DevOps, Architecture, and Security. Current title: "Senior DevOps Manager"
Recruiter: "There are a lot of opportunities, but this one caught my eye, and I thought you'd be interested... Junior Frontend Developer"
If you want to do your job, at least do it half way well. Recruiters can suck, but most are better than that.2
I’ve been diagnosed with bipolar disorder type II. The age of “unidentified affective disorder is over”.7
Client: I need the push notification to have purple edges with blue background.
Me: I'm sorry. Apple does not have a support for such customization. What we can do is modify title, description and also add an overview image.
Client: No, you can make it purple edges with blue background. I saw it on dribble!
Me: *Logs out*.9
Faxbook literally sent a cease-and-desist letter to the developer of an extension that unfollows everyone on your account, oh and they also ban his account.
I- I have no words.
I'll point names today
Boss: Quick! The Xero integration is not working anymore!
Xero Documentation: place your client secret in the HEADERS
Me: * places client secret in headers *
Xero API: Bad Request!
*creates new client secret*
*1 hour of trying*
* places client secret in request body, not in headers *
Xero API: Ok!
UPDATE YOUR DOCUMENTATION
TELL US ABOUT IT IN THE CHANGELOGS5
HR: Everyone must fill out these 100% anonymous surveys about how you feel about our company, it’s leadership, and how likely you are to leave in the next 6 months etc. Please be 100% honest, since again it is 100% anonymous. Reminder! You must use the individual links we sent to you, do NOT use someone else’s link. Oh did we say it’s 100% anonymous?
www. surveygen .com/ companysurvey123 ?employeeName=boombodies &employeeId=6969
Manager: I NEVER SAID THAT!!
Dev: *Brings up email where he said exactly that*
Manager: I DON’T REMEMBER ASSIGNING YOU A TICKET TO LOOK THAT UP. GET BACK TO WORK!!
Yesterday's (scheduled and adhoc) meetings:
Today's (scheduled) meetings:
Tomorrow's meetings include a 1:1 with my boss who will invariably ask why I'm not done on this "should take a week" project that I've had for a week, despite that he just unblocked me on yesterday morning, and I've had nothing but meetings since...
They fill my day with shit spaced out just enough to waste practically my entire freaking day so I can't get anything done, conveniently forget this, and then have the audacity to yell at me for not finishing my tickets. Of course I didn't finish! You all were too busy blabbing at me every day for the past fucking week! (Oh, and do they listen if I have something to say? Of course they fucking don't.)
Also, as a secondary rant, the product douchebag files tickets (usually complex as hell tickets worded to appear trivial) with enough missing information to make missing large sections of them easy. If I ask him for clarification, he tells me to read the ticket, and if I insist, he gets all exasperated and quickly zooms through the site faster than I can follow, shows maybe half of what's in the ticket, and asks why I don't know how to do any of this yet. After I finish his shit ticket (and true to his douchebag nature) he blames me for missing several of those pieces he never outlined or showed, and insists that I obviously don't test anything. And because that's clearly not douchey enough, the fucking sack of shit also goes behind my back and trashtalks me to my coworkers, tells them he can't trust me to do a simple fucking thing, and that he's given up on me.
What the FUCK is wrong with these people?27
Some managers really just walk around with as little backbone as they can even if it means allowing the company to exploit the people under them by giving them the shittiest tools.
A few months ago, I was issued a Macbook Pro. It was brand new. I opened it maybe once and never used it again. Since I quit over a month ago, I surrendered the laptop to that company's IT in good condition. One of our testers asked if he can have it so we talked to the manager about the transfer. As discussed, I will surrender the laptop to IT for them to check and other bullshit then my colleague will pick it up.
Pickup day comes. He was so excited. He woke up early and drove a few hours to the office during a fucking typhoon and they gave him the ugliest laptop I've ever seen in my entire life. The screen looks like it was bukkake'd for decades and instead of wiping it clean, they just let it dry up. Then they buried it with the first owner's corpse where he released all his death liquid and gasses into it.
He literally cannot see shit because of these weird foggy marks all over the screen. The charger looks like it was dragged and chewed up by rabid dogs. The cable is brown and open in all places and there's a weird smear that looks like feces. They jammed this Jurassic trash into a Macbook Pro box that is equally dirty.
Before he showed it to us, he said, "The screen looks like my magazine when I was a kid." I asked, "Bold? (porn)" After I saw it, the mental image was a lot worse.
We later confirmed that it was not my previous laptop. He asked the manager and he said, "Sorry, it was swapped. Rutee's laptop was assigned to this other guy but don't worry, that one is working." Are you fucking kidding me? I'll make this chewed up charger your anal beads. See if you don't get tetanus from this crap. It looked so fucked up, we joked that if he plugged it in, it will cause a blackout in the entire city. We were all pissed off for him while at the same time laughing at this ridiculous junk and thinking of cartoonish ways it could explode or just die the first time he uses it. The nerve to issue garbage like this to an employee. Imagine if he broke this dying device and they asked him to pay for it? Like how much? For the same price of a brand new one. How about $1?
He asked the IT department and they said it was actually the manager who swapped the laptop and gave it to someone else. Talk about a fucking liar. We urged him to fight them and voila, he got a new one in perfect condition. They can issue a perfectly good device but they just give you garbage and see if you will accept it. If you saw it, that thing should have been decommissioned a long time ago.
Fuck that company and manager in particular.5
Website: "Here is your PDF! You can download 1 more PDF today. Get unlimited downloads with a PRO account!"
Oh do I?
*deletes cookies and local storage*
*downloads another one*
Website: "Here is your PDF! You can download 1 more PDF today"6
- Okay, bug fixed, all tests passed and changes commited. Good job, brain!
- Are you dead already? It's 11 am
- And so now I have no mental energy to do anything else, right?
- Well, fuck my life.2
I opened an Instagram account to document my work with the robot, because there is so much mechanics and dirty work and painful engineering done, which will never be acknowledged in any future paper I might publish.
For now it looks like I am doing well, since instead of dick pics from followers, I get LinkedIn requests :)1
Just got off a 10-day pip. I didn’t do anything differently and everyone said I showed a lot of improvement. I literally write like 3 lines of code in two weeks and closed six tickets.9
I tried setting up an F* development environment on a Mac…
Yeah, that’s the rant. You can probably guess how it went…8
If I flag a bug on your PR don’t fucking do this:
if (bugOccurs()) handleBug()
Fix what is causing the bug, don’t bandaid it.
Manager: wElL yOu NeEd To ExPlAiN tO tHeM eXaCtLy HoW tO fIx It, hOw ArE tHeY sUpPoSeD tO kNoW?!
Manager: Explain “Kooburrnehteez” to me.
Dev: Well when a mommy server and a daddy server love each other very much…2