I kinda like PHP.

The three most dangerous things in the world are a programmer with a soldering iron, a hardware engineer with a software patch, and a user with an idea 😐

Painfully true...

What did function() say to main ()?

Call me maybe

The great linux world map

Python: I hate the way it uses True/False over true/false

Java: Static. Just fuck static. oh and System.out.println(), why the fuck did they make the basic print function so long to write.

C#: I despise the way the curly braces get automatically put under the function declaration rather than beside it since it's a language style thing.

C: the inability to declare vars in altho declaration of a forloop. Although I think C11 let's you do this.

Javascript: Fucking prototypes.

Coldfusion: it runs like an elephant. Slow and heavy.

Go: The way the compiler won't let you have unused variables/imports. Pain in the ass for testing.

My colleague sent me this. Think before you act!

Hi Bob,

This is Alan next door. I’m sorry buddy, but I have a confession to make to you.

I’ve been riddled with guilt these past few months and have been trying to pluck up the courage to tell you to your face but I am at least now telling in text as I can’t live with myself a moment longer without you knowing.
The truth is, I have been sharing your wife, day and night when you're not around.

In fact, probably more than you, particularly in the mornings after you’ve left for work.

I haven’t been getting it at home recently, but that's no excuse I know.
I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apologies.

My wife has known for some time now and I’ve promised her that it won't happen again.

Regards, Alan.

Bob, feeling anguished and betrayed, immediately went into his bedroom, grabbed his gun, and without a word, shot his wife twice in the head, killing her instantly.

He returned to the lounge where he poured himself a stiff drink and sat down on the sofa.

He took out his phone to respond to the neighbour's text and saw he had another message:-

Hi Bob,

This is Alan next door again.
Sorry about the slight typo on my last text, I expect you worked it out.
Anyway, but as I’m sure you noticed, my predictive text changed ‘WiFi’ To ‘Wife’.

Hope you saw the funny side of that.

Regards, Alan.

When I said I am a programmer..

That important meeting where you should've been included but for some reason wasn't

Coding without internet acces is like doing chemistry without a periodic table.

me_irl

Fuck windows

A customer did send a 3GB+ .txt file to the database guy in my office. He (senior dev) starts ranting about how he should handle this since his tools failed to do whatever he had to with this data.
After seeing him struggle some time I did a short search (I'm apprentice since 4 months) and then told him to use "split -l".

Just got a reply from a client complaining that the site I did for him is "too responsive".

Never got this kind of complain.

Normally I might get some complains about the site not being fully responsive but never was I expecting to receive a "site is too responsive" complain.

Im involved in a major project for 4 months now and im a former weed smoker and sometimes I just want to stay home and smoke my code away #green #angular #weed