Confession Bear: I pretty much don't contribute to Open Source and never have in 20 years.

First thing on Monday. The very first thing.

I fucking killed prod.

Reminder to my future self to either stash local config files and .htaccess files... or add them to gitignore... But either way, don't leave them lying around assuming I won't do something dumb and accidentally commit them. Because some fateful Monday morning before I've had my coffee I'm going to do something dumb.

Me, converting shit to JSON between a data pull and an API call even though I don't have to just because the data only makes sense to my brain that way.

Feature request: Ability to post and/or comment images.

Teams meeting today... kind of a quiet moment...

THEN SOMEBODY THEW DOWN TWO MASSIVE FUCKING LINES OF COKE... even let out the little "ugh" at the end.

It could have been oxies or molly or whatever the fuck you kids are doing these days... but that was 100% the sound of somebody snorting lines.

LOL

1. Close devRant and other tabs with Twitter or Reddit or whatever.

2. Work.

Today is a "watching spinny circles" day.

Repeat steps 1 and 2 until everything is FIXED!!!

They just... stopped paying me...

(Ended up recovering the money after going through the Department of Labor, but damn)

Been programming Java for like 20 years. I mean, not like constantly throughout, but a fair amount.

Still, even knowing the exact answer, when that damn Java Updater pops up I'm like "why the fuck do I need this???"

What is up with people asking for help and then immediately getting pissy like the first fuckin thing you say?

Shut the fuck up and let me help you, damn.

3rd time the DB schema has been completely redone since starting this project.

3rd time I'm rewriting the back-end of this login.

But... 3rd time I'm getting paid for the same thing so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Nice cuppa Earl Grey with honey. Badass Wolf Shirt playlist on repeat.

I'm going in for a voluntary night shift. I fuckin love this job.

Gen X and Milennial Programmers:

Gen Z Programmers:

Double meta.

When you realize even the good sites with smart programmer people on them are deeply infected with the stupid.

Worst dev disaster?

Welp, my now 6 year old Mac keeps sending signal to my monitors that in my experience regardless of OS generally says "my video card is gonna fuckin die soon".

I've re-installed the Windows partition like 3 times, but that responds to the video card problems so bad it pretty much just BSODs... but the Mac side soldiers on, just occasionally having weird visual glitches. Thats fine, I work on the Mac side.

And I don't really want to spend a shit ton on a new computer... but I do want a Mac, so I'm gonna spend a shit ton.

So now I have to decide if I can hold out for an M1 or if I should just shell like thousands for a Mac that will be out of date in like 4 months. After which for development purposes I'd still have to buy at least the M1 dev kit Mac Mini.

All of which hinges on this effing video card lasting another few months.

Because if it doesn't I'm going to have to use my kids 8GB fuckin HP laptop as my main dev machine while I get another Mac in the mail and that would fucking suck not to mention the like minimum two days sleep I'd lose just setting up the required local environments I'd need... not to mention I'd have to do all that in Windows... so I'd have to find Windows equivalents for all my dev tools. Or fuck it, maybe I could just install Putty and server cowboy everything... but it would still suck.

And, of course, I don't have time to do any of that because I have the normal like 2 tight deadlines on shit.

The next few months of my life, potentially my ability to earn a living, potentially my sanity...

Hangs on the health of a fucking six year old heavily abused video card.

I worked all day on a CodeIgniter2 project.

That... kind of says it all.

I deleted over a petabyte worth of snapshots from AWS today.

As a data hoarder this feels like genocide.

'rona virus working from home thug life.

MS Teams, several people including my PM, my company's sales lead, and the top brass from the client.

Sharing my center monitor with some technical documents etc.

A wild messenger message appears from my wife with the contents, "I'm gonna come home for lunch and fuck you sideways."

I'd put the amount of time it took me to mouse up there and flick that thing off the screen at about 900 miliseconds.

How fucked (in addition to sideways) am I?

Tl;dr ~ Fucked my wife. Fucked my life.

I just had the weirdest feeling where the word "response" completely lost all meaning to me.

I googled it, and apparently this is called semantic satiation.

Huh, never happened to me before.. I hope the memory of the word response returns to me because though I'm not sure why I feel like it's important.

You crazies do whatever you have to do with your little "plan"... but if you mother fuckers take down my internet I will come out of this fucking basement with the rage of fucking Loki and it won't fucking matter to me what side you thought you were on.

When did we decide managing Users through Cloud REST architecture was more secure than having them in an underlying DB?

Because I can't put my finger on exactly why... but I don't like it and I think it's probably less secure... and just spawned from the need to be able to make user management a subscription based service like fucking everything? When a simple MySQL or postgres and some bcrypt somewhere would be both more secure and infinitely cheaper?

I'm more used to consuming REST API's than writing them. Can any you REST peeps help me understand how a REST API could be made as secure as a SQL DB connection for user management?

What do you think the attack vectors are for a REST API User Management? Like... what's the SQL injection of REST API? Pack some extra JSON somewhere or something?

At least if I can have faith my shit's not gonna get hacked because I have to use a 3rd party REST service for User Management of Users to my own fucking app I can maybe sleep tonight.

Spent the day trolling the ever loving shit out of Parler and man, I won’t need to harvest butthurt for at least 3 months.

Tank is full.

Sitting here watching my wife drive toward the house on FindMy.

I'm not creepy. She has a Rueben Sandwich for me. I am tracking the Rueben Sandwich.

4 more miles. Reuben Sandwich.

Welp, the internet is still up, so I guess I’ll work.

Updated a website for an older client today. Realized I originally wrote their website in 2002.

That web site is a fucking non-responsive piece of shit... but it is still running normally after 18 years.

Just HTML/CSS and some light JS/PHP for form processing. It's not fancy but it still performs and works perfect on Desktop and OK on mobile. Mobile devices which DID NOT EXIST when I wrote it.

Let this be a lesson to the entire new class of developers who seems to think you need some framework to develop. You don't. And I GUARANTEE if that site used any framework that framework would have been retired or updated to un-useability 10 years ago.

Meanwhile my LAMP ass "web native" shit spaghetti with ZERO DEPENDENCIES is still just chugging the fuck along.

We should name the next big pandemic disease IPV-6 just to watch the conspiracy whackos lose their fuckin minds.

Worst: Spending a week in npm, node, react hell trying to triage a ReactNative iOS/Android app that even the OG dev couldn't fix and FAILING.

This is the only code in like 20 fuckin years that beat me.

Best: Watching the fall of western democracy with a giant shit eating "I told you so" grin.

MFW we learn the SolarWinds hack would allow remote code to be run at the Department of Energy.