The company I work for just screwed me out of a bonus while negotiating my salary after I handed in my notice. I really don't understand the logic of large companies that make these decisions that save them a few hundred bucks only to tarnish their reputation and assure that people like me will never EVER come back to work for them.
Can't wait for my notice period to be up!

When someone asks you to add more comments to your clean code.

A massive thank you to the DevRant staff for sending me this 1st class to London! Can't wait to add it to my laptop - pics to follow.

So a SQL server walks into a bar to grab a drink. He gets his drink and spots a table with two people sitting down with a spare chair. So he walks up to them and says "Hey, can I JOIN you two?"

I've never had a problem with helping junior devs but when their keyboard and mouse looks like they bought it used from a primary school - glossy and covered in food etc... All I can think is burn it..... Burn it with fire.
Seriously... Keep your peripherals clean... They get nasty pretty quickly.

Sublime text.... Am I right?!

That awkward moment your company worker realises you just refactored his code