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"Could you build me a blog for 100€"
I 'could'. But I 'could' also stick a pencil in my eye or set my cock on fire.36 -
Just had a fire drill at school. I yelled "GIT PUSH!! GIT PUSH!!".
I've always wanted to do that... :P13 -
I FUCKING HATE when you visit a website – any website – and you get dozens of these shoved in your face:
"Use the app!"
"Get the app!"
"Try the app!"
"Why not use the app?"
Because it fucking sucks! Get off my back! Go fuck yourselves and drown in cum!
Why don't you at least TRY to make your app work properly BEFORE shoving all these annoying messages in my face, you whore-bred human waste?
No, I don't want to use your fucking app! No, I don't want you fuckers to spy on me even more than you already do! No, I don't want you to fucking remind me five times in a minute, that you have a fucking app, that doesn't do what it's supposed to do renotely well, but still perfectly sends my morning piss color nuances every day, without any problems.
99% of all native apps could have been build with a prooer web interface and wouldn't lose the slightest bit of usability.
You can die in a fucking hotel fire for all I care, but I won't install your shitty spyware.49 -
Apple has Air
Amazon has Fire
Google has Earth
Microsoft should really create something called Water31 -
I once set a customers server on fire.
Litterally.
I put my laptop ontop of the server rack and the additional heat generated caused blue smoke to fill the room.
The whole building had to be evacuated.
Firetrucks came.
The customer eyeballed me quite a bit after he talked to the firemarshal regarding where the fire had originated.11 -
!rant
*Theoretical computer scientist is at an interview.*
Interviewer: “Imagine that you are walking down a road and see a house on fire. What do you do?”
CS Guy: “I dial the police and tell them that the house is on fire.”
Interviewer: “Good. Now, imagine that you are walking down the same road, and you see that the same house is not on fire. What do you do?”
CS Guy: *Ponders for a little while.* “I put the house on fire and reduce it to a problem I’ve solved before.”10 -
I was working in a small startup with very cool people as a GameDev. One day I turned towards my colleague to tell him about a joke I just read and I saw flames coming out of his CPU. He was so focused on his work that he didn't notice.
I yelled "OH, SHIT' and quickly reached to the main switch and turned it off. Everyone turned towards me to yell at me, but then they saw the flames and everyone ran outside.
After few minutes the flames died. My colleague was in shock to lose his work as the HDD was completely burned.11 -
*Theoretical computer scientist is at an interview.*
Interviewer: “Imagine that you are walking down a road and see a house on fire. What do you do?”
CS Guy: “I dial the police and tell them that the house is on fire.”
Interviewer: “Good. Now, imagine that you are walking down the same road, and you see that the same house is not on fire. What do you do?”
CS Guy: *Ponders for a little while.* “I put the house on fire, thus reducing it to a problem I’ve solved before.”2 -
Slimy recruiter: "In your own opinion, what do you think are your best and your worst character traits as a developer?"
Me: "I am a well-versed, meticulous – not to say compulsive – and irascible misanthrope, who enjoys stalking and bestially murdering obtrusive recruiters. But enough of my good qualities. How about I tell you about my bad qualities at a personal meeting?
Slimy recruiter: …
I suppose this should be enough to keep this fucktard from asking me any further uncalled-for profiling questions in the near future.
Somebody should really invent some kind of a digital pesticide to get rid of these spineless, annoying, greedy, lying, stupid worthless fucks.10 -
Honestly if the StackOverflow community was set on fire and I had a huge tank of water
People in Africa wouldn't die from thrist anymore.19 -
Hello {Project}, my old friend. I've come to debug you again
Because the scope is softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was developing
And the misery that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence...
In restless dreams I debugged alone
Narrow file of cobbled code
‘Neath the halo of a desk lamp
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of git checkin
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence
And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand bugs and maybe more
People coding without asking
People coding without listening
People writing code that they never share
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of silence
Fools, said I, you do not know
{Project} like a cancer grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach you
But my words, like silent raindrops fell
And echoed in the wells of silence.
And the people bowed and prayed
To the kludgy app they made
And the sign flashed out its warning
In the words that it was forming
And the sign said, the words of the prophets are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls
And whispered in the sounds of silence15 -
I've ranted so much, this is where they moved me to. They couldn't fire my because I was too valuable an asset to the project.
13 -
A recruiter just called me three times in a row withing 5 minutes, apparently hanging up each time after after ringing once.
WHAT THE FLYING RAT'S CUNT?
If you want people to take your fucking slave jobs, cutting their fuse short by getting on their tits every few few minutes will only achieve you ending up in the gutter with several deep, gaping stab wounds – if I ever find out where the fuck you live that is.
The most maddening thing is, I wasn't aware it was a fucking recruiter, I just thought there might be an accident or emergency somewhere, so I called back, being greeted by some fucktard who pretended to be surprised by me, not only calling them back, but calling them at all.
YOU CALLED ME, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!
That's what I actually told him, plus to go fuck his mongoloid brother with a strap-on dildo just like his dad used to do him.
I don't even know, neither do I want to, what 'amazing and unique opportunity' this fucking lying shithead had allegedly lined up for me 'exclusively', because it's most likely washing dishes or Java and fucking 'Ahngoolah' once again.
I'm so fucking sick of recruiters and their scammy ways of 'exciting' people into forgetting they're disgusted by recruiters for a fucking minute, so they can lie without consequence. I wish they'd all die slowly suffocating, their lungs filled with their own blood and feces.22 -
Co Worker: "Your computer is missing a mouse!"
Me: "I require less dependencies to use a computer"
BBUUUURRRRNN10 -
Being a programmer is easy!
It's like riding a bike
Except
The bike is on fire
you're on fire
everything is on fire
and you're in hell5 -
CSS is easy. It’s like riding a bike, which is on fire and the ground is on fire and everything is on fire because it is hell.8
-
Interviewer: Tell me your previous achievements.
Me: I had a level 213 fire mage.
Interviewer:
Me:15 -
Portugal is burning
500+ fires active
31 confirmed deads in 1 day...
A large one almost reached my house, saved by two man with construction machines. Still houses burned, gás bottles exploding like shotguns at a distance...
It's the end off the summer...
And now im at work, a new fire started close by...
28 -
Since no one has mentioned it - Happy birthday, Linux.
And thank you, who goes through fire and water debugging this enormous creature (this could've been worse, right?) -
I really love my job these cold, rainy autumn days with yellow trees, where I can work from home having a nice fire going in the fireplace and the dog sleeping on my feet :-)
10 -
Citizens are advised not to use Firewalls on their devices or Networks, as there can be a fire threat from enabling those.
An active cooperation is expected from everyone.
Stay safe and have a nice day :)4 -
If Windows 10 auto changes my keyboard to US one more fucking time I'm going to move it off my PC on to an external HDD and fuck it in a fucking volcano before moving to Linux.
SORT YOUR SHIT OUT WINDOWS, I'M CLEARLY IN THE FUCKING UK.
/Rant16 -
Working on a project called ...fire... on linux, when suddenly realised, that
`$ touch fire` is a bad idea6 -
When you get so excited you burst out signing "🎶MY CODE IS ON FIRE🎶"(Alicia keys "this girl is on fire" reference) forgetting your in a room with your fellow developers.....
5 minutes later there still laughing4 -
"It couldn't be more true."
Yeah, it LITERALLY motherfucking can't, you stinking, arse whoring, glory hole occupying, arsehole rimming, snot gurgling, cum snorting, weasel fingering, cat raping, copper coin rent boy!
F-U-C-K!88 -
I hope we'll see more of Gilfoyle in the next season of Silicon Valley because that guy is fucking fire3
-
!rant
Friendly reminder, please check the fire alarms in your house.
Buy a fire extinguisher if you don't have one.14 -
!Rant
I highly recommend everyone fire at least one client in your lifetime. It is a glorious feeling!5 -
"I thought this app was a game. It isn't. Also, it doesn't connect to Facebook."
Die in a fire you worthless fucking waste of oxygen.5 -
CSS is easy. Its like riding a bike, which is on Fire and the ground is on fire and everything is on fire because It is hell.9
-
When you are coding, put your coffeepot on fire, and forgot about it for two hours.
My life suck tonight.
13 -
ever got a task to modify legacy code and when you looked at it you were like... burning it with fire is the only way!
1 -
up at 11:30pm finishing some work when fire alarm goes off.... waited to see if my tests passed before leaving3
-
*spends a long time crafting a huge eBay post (we're moving)
* tries to drag and drop first picture
* page navigates to the picture without warning
* loses everything
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
WHEN DRAGGING A PICTURE INTO A WEB PAGE I NEVER WANT TO NAVIGATE TO A PAGE WITH JUST THAT IMAGE. WHY NO WARNING BEFORE LEAVING THE PAGE. WHY DON'T YOU SAVE TEXT LOCALLY. WHY DOES THE WEB SUCK SO HARD. AAAGGGHHHH.
* feels better
* starts over8 -
@dfox @trogus
I would like an option to disable sharing on Facebook and Twitter, and everything related to external social networks.
Disable everything related to Facebook and Twitter.
Absolutely anything that communicates with these evil networks.
Cut it.
Please.25 -
Network admins deleted the VM my team's git server ran in.
I'm trying to focus my fury into a work appropriate message to their boss.
"fire everyone" is my first response, what would you do?7 -
Right i'm building a new interview test. Short and simple, I give the potential hire a laptop with a browser open on this: http://jasonette.com/
If he / she recoils in horror, they are hired.20 -
I might actually quit. I'm within weeks (Army-stupidity pending) of working remote and not having to interact with my boss face to face, and I might quit.
2 week long call, everything I suggested was turned down/dismissed by him. Turns out, the second thing I suggested may have resolved the issue... After he decided he was going to take over the call.
While I was on the call, he ran the coffee maker, the kettle, banged his dishes around in the metal sink, and honestly tried to create as much noise as humanly possible, as he does for all my calls. I have multiple signs up requesting people be considerate.
He works for a different company, so I can't call HR, and I'm at the end of my patience.3 -
There was fire in the below ground generator, smoke pulled out, in home, alive. Electricity not coming, hope it gets fixed soon.
Thank god i am alive.
And i managed to save my final year project files.
Yay!8 -
I fucking HATE webpack! What a massive, stinking pile of shit this so-called build tool is!
It's as if the creators asked themselves "how can we create the most annoying, obtrusive, ugly and chaotic SHIT LOAD of a fucking build tool and troll people into spending hours configuring that fucking abomination?" while drunk and then made it even worse, awful beyond all their sadistic, childish wet dreams, by fucking up the completely and utterly useless documentation; only the largely imaginary docs of 99% of all the webpack plugins are worse.
I understand the need for versatile tools in the annoying JavaScript world that changes thrice a day, but fuck me with a barbed, cyanide-dipped ten foot pole, if I ever grow to like this fucking torture device called webpack.
Is there anybody who likes to waste his time with webpack? If so, I fucking hate you too.
Fuck it, I'll use Rollup, now. Even if it takes ten hours, it's going to be less annoying than one more minute with 'crabsack'.
Fuck you, Webpack, I hope your inventor dies in a fucking hotel fire!10 -
Giving functions exciting names so you can feel like a Bond villain while programming:
execute(); destroy(); fire(); isDead();6 -
Saw this on a article about"who to fire"
Funny how almost everyone who decides who to fire are themselves in the lower left hand corner
5 -
When you are listening to music while coding and the music is on fire so you hit the same button on the keyboard several times to go with the beat 😂1
-
Holy fucking shit! What the actual fuck is this?!!!
The funny part: this is not the worst e-mail I got from them, the person who is responsible for these e-mails should have been fired 2 years ago.
7 -
Me: I don't know why people hate CSS so much. It works fine for me 😑
Inner me: Liar, Liar, Pants on fire 🔥 😂7 -
It's near enough 1 AM right now.
So will someone please explain to me why my thick shit of a housemate is cooking burgers WITHOUT OIL and setting the FUCKING FIRE ALARMS OFF, WHEN HE KNOWS I CAN NEVER SLEEP AND HAVE TO BE UP AT 4.30.
If they go off again, I'm pressing his face against the frying pan13 -
Oh the beauty of WYSIWYG etitors...
I don't know which one I'm more amazed of. All that beautiful styling for a simple line break or that incredibly accurate and absolute neccessary line-height value.
I guess it's time for a strip tag massacre.
6 -
Headphones on when you sneeze. Do you assume someone said bless you and fire off a thank you, or assume no one said it and risk being the guy that doesn't thank a bless you?7
-
Before production deployment: Everything is running well, all bugs are fixed, serenity sets in.
Production deployment day: Fire everywhere
goddamit we don't get a fucking break2 -
Just had a fire at work.
git add, git commit, git push.
No one was hurt. But, the fire was in a server room and the git server is down. At least the halon deployed successfully.
The off site backup should be up in 20 mins. I wonder how often they pull the repo.5 -
I've honestly seen that "In case of fire: git commit, git push, leave building" image like 12 times.
Lads, we get it.
Give it a rest.9 -
STOP. FUCKING. REINSTALLING. BROKEN. NVIDIA DRIVERS. WINDOWS 10.
DIE IN A FUCKING PIT OF FIRE I CAN’T EVEN WATCH A YOUTUBE VIDEO UNDER 1 FPS1 -
Apparently the fire hose in our building wasn't connected to the water main, because the legislation stated the building owner had to install a fire hose, not connect a fire hose to the water main.1
-
We hired a new senior dev. The lead architect is going over basic bit branching and commits with him. This new job already feels like a dumpster covered in petrol.3
-
*installing linux on my mini laptop*
- Dad: "you should make a backup image of windows 10"
- Me: "LOL NOPE!"
(With 2gb of ram, linux makes it the perfect lightweight coding machine. But with W10? Jesus christ)6 -
When someone is so used to being told no that they argue with you for 20 minutes when you agree with them.
-
Marketing and Sales must be pretty satisfied with my work now. They only threatened to fire me once this week.8
-
*reverts a layout file to the one in git*
*gradle fails, no components found, electricity goes off, office catches fire, the world ends*4 -
Buuuuullshiiiiiiit.
(Sorry for the picture of a screen, can't take screenshots when updating I think)
17 -
load average: 348.58, 293.64, 179.93
Um, wat?
1) What are you doing little server?!
2) How could you possibly find the time to tell me that?!3 -
You're gonna use the 3D printer she said… You're gonna learn JavaScript she said… nope, all we learnt was three HTML tags that confused most people1
-
Rock up at work 10:30.
"What are you doing out your wanking chariot this early?"
"Aye, was there a fire where you live or something?"
Good thing I have flexitime!1 -
Being thrown in the deep end, baptism by fire is the best/worst way to learn a new codebase
Its not appropriate for everyone but it weirdly works -
Lotus Notes is absolutely the worst platform known to man. Every time a ticket comes in I want to set the Domino servers on fire.11
-
Woow, who designed this shit!??! My eyes are litrely on fire!!!!
Goash, i better should turn a dark mode on
3 -
mr robot, halt and catch fire, silicon valley, tvf pitchers.....
any suggestions for movies like pirates of silicon valley?5 -
Just started onboarding the new hire and it made me realise how much of a dumpster fire some of our code is
-
A group of ten top software engineers is sent to a class for aspiring managers.
The teacher walks in and asks this question:"You work for a software company which develops avionics (software that controls the instruments of an airplane).
One day you are taking a business trip. As you get on the plane you see a plaque that says this plane is using a beta of the software your team developed. Who would get off?"Nine developers raised their hands.
The teacher looked at the tenth and asked, "Why would you stay on?
"The tenth said, "if my team wrote the software, the plane would not get off the ground3 -
// Delivery manager rant part #2
When one of your many stakeholders asks "why isn't feature X built yet?"
Response: have you seen the state of production lately???? Do you really think your item is top of our priority list right now?
-
Apple iPhone batteries catch on fire yesterday and today at two different Apple Stores
*Scrolling news on OP5T and laughing *7 -
So I decided to help my Mom's Mom setup an Amazon Fire TV. Now I've been here for about 3 - 4 hours and I'm setting up 2 Fire Tv's, A Router, Writting down passwords, setting up an Amazon account with Prime and fixing her computer.. 😤😢3
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Intern tries to merge a huge commit without knowing what he's doing. Breaks half the app. I'm at 30 min and counting of having to fix everything he broke.14
-
Why the hell does enterprise software get away with not having basic, logical, functionality?!
A hierarchical page structure should allow you to name multiple pages the same as long as they're under different parents.
Every FREE documentation platform understands this, yet atlassian fucking confluence can't figure it out.1 -
We've all seen bad code in our time. The code I'm currently looking at needs to die horribly in a fire. In fact, that doesn't even seem extreme enough for this monstrosity
-
Suck some dick, O2.
(Translation TL;DR: From 25th May Telefonica Germany will collect data in order to offer personalized offers)
5 -
That fear of messing up an already flawed program and making it more fucked up.
The lack of confidence is real. T.T2 -
When you get so used to the terminal that you fire one up just to rename a file even though the GUI is right in front of you1
-
Don't freaking urgent request me! Your ass better be literally on fire, otherwise you are wasting my time!2
-
What's your programming victory ritual?
I start dancing like a caveman who discovered fire and battle rap all the bugs and logic errors into oblivion.3 -
We just had a fire alarm at school. We are allowed to go home.
Now I have enough time to finish a project and read a book.
🔥🔥🔥🔥3 -
The Halt and Catch Fire writers and tech experts must have lived those days. Totally nailed it to the finest detail. I am impressed. Show me a 10mg (how will I ever fill it up) Bernoulli platter 😀
Great series but warning it is not a comedy like Silicon. Very different but amazing how some things are same as today in concept.7 -
People that design programming languages that have indices that start at 1 should just be crucified and set on fire6
-
👦🏻 : I Enter office.
🕵🏻 : 8 emails from client with subject line "Urgent Fire! Fix ASAP".
👦🏻 : Opens Application and everything seems normal.
-- Another email 5 mins later --
🕵🏻 : Oops sorry! It was my browser cache.
👦🏻 : 🙄3 -
My weather report just says "delete" for friday. ("Löschen" in german)
Seems good weather app, seems good! 🤔
11 -
Super excited to have gotten the rare opportunity to completely re-write an old VB WinForms application instead of just hacking in functionality. Still has to be WinForms for various reasons, but getting to build it with MVP, separated concerns, testable logic, TDD, and not using in line SQL makes me feel like a pioneer of an old code base 😎
Actually, the biggest challenge is porting over the old functionality so it works the same! Nobody at the company was around when it was built so going from the code up (instead of outlining functionality first then making code) is difficult, but still worth it!
Shout out to all the other times we've had to hack in functionality to SHITTY code bases.... sometimes the re-write comes!!
Now I just need to not fuck it up 😅4 -
Dear hex.pm website, please fire the developer who programmed this email and employ me. I grantee you I am better than this asshole.
-
Fucking drills.
I spent 1 hour to get in my zone and they have to do an unorganised unhelpful fire drill. Fucking timewaste. Why? 😫3 -
Boss fast tracked a release for a customer. No testing. Not checking commits or the state. Undocumented requirement brings down everything and everyone is running around with their hair on fire. Sigh.2
-
After several days of going through all stages of grief, and also several brickings, I have finally successfully rooted my Kindle Fire HD 6 and installed Cyanogenmod.
-
So we are preparing to deploy the changes onto production and some fucker decides to play with the fire alarm.
-
Question time! What was your first programming job or internship experience like? What I mean is, were you eased in or was it baptism by fire?
Mine is currently baptism by fire, coffee, and no sleep6 -
When I first started reading about Angular 4 I must admit I was a bit excited. It seemed like it fit the company enterprise requirements. The improvements it offered on paper looked quite good for our use case. HOWEVER... After writing Angular 4 for two weeks I'm seriously doubting I made the right decision. Testing is a dependency hell and there are two ways to build and structure your application. The webpack way and the SystemJS way. The grunt way and the angular-cli way. For fuck sake Google. And the documentation is somewhat half supporting one thing, half supporting another. So when you're using angular-cli with webpack, you're pretty much screwed when we're talking about documentation. It has now taken me almost 50 hours to write a pretty basic Angular app, made it compliant with our staging environment and writing a Makefile for it, since I haven't been able to find any same way to provide custom arguments when building it with the angular-cli --aot option. So fuck you Google. Luckily I've found a way to modularize it so much that I'll be able to reuse the core in the future. So I guess I got that thing going for me, which is nice... -.-' *sigh*
-
Any IDE that doesn't go to the end of line when you press the down arrow key on the last line of the file, should be burned with hell fire.2
-
I can not believe it took me so long to discover Cmder. I finally have a tabbed console on Windows.2
-
To the people who keep overwriting our meeting room bookings in Outlook, fuck you and I hope you all die in a fire.1
-
Things you should not say on your last day of work:
If I broke it, I think it would be pretty obvious. -
The business is prioritizing error reporting for issues we are aware of over actually fixing the bugs. Isn't that kind of like installing smoke detectors in a house that's already on fire instead of calling the fire department?1
-
Halt and Catch Fire. Watch this serie. Just do. Specially if you are 30 or older, and/or entrepreneur. https://ororo.tv/en/shows/... . 2 episodes per day in this link.
3 -
Found this song today by meme posted by @sam9669. This song's fire though + comments are true bliss. :D
1 -
Halt and Catch Fire is having another great season. Lived those days and it is so true. CompuServe, Compaq, Commodore, 5 1/4", Tandy 1000, Byte Mag, Atari, The Well... The tech you see is really 1985ish. Attention to detail is appreciated by long time technologists.
H&CF is about building a tech business and much applies to today's startups. That two brilliant tech women are leading the charge adds to it. All the characters are great Cameron, Gordon, Donna, the devs at Mutiny and Joe channeling Jobs (in my opinion) is spot on.
Any H&CF fans have an opinion?4 -
In the country, Sunday morning, gale blowing, internet off/on, coffee, warm fire: Coding day or not?
-
So, apparently, in 2015 our webhost (ixwebhosting) was purchased by Site5... This week, they finally migrated us to Site5 servers without warning, taking my email down in the process...
Today, after following the instructions in their own KB article (that tells you to click an icon that doesn't exist,) and chatting with support for over an hour, I was told that the new system they migrated us to doesn't support catch-all email accounts... At all... It's simply not possible to receive an email that was sent to your domain, unless the email address exists in the system somewhere... Despite the fact that it's a standard cPanel feature, that the old and new systems both use cPanel, that every other webhost I have ever seen that uses cPanel has this feature available, AND the fact that this is an important feature for a lot of websites, because they pipe all of their emails to a script for processing... It's simply not possible... They won't be providing that feature anymore. Nor for that matter is it possible to be migrated back...
They migrated accounts to a system that has a basic email function intentionally disabled, without warning... And we can't afford to open an account with someone else ATM... So I can't get any email until we get migrated... FML9 -
Frontend web development is a fucking jungle. I feel like bloody Bear Grylls whenever I come out of my backend cave - shit's overwhelming, yo.2
-
Reviewing a newly reported bug from the QA team:
Reproduction Rate: 100%
Process: Load x, click y, observe
Result: Sometimes, z happens.2 -
So, I'm looking into something and end up on Stack Overflow. Someone posted the question:
"Does minified javascript improve performance?"
This question was old as shit, all they way from 07/25/09, and about an Adobe Air application. (Remember that? Me neither...) It had a great, accepted, and still accurate answer, posted the same day the question was asked. Now, fast forward 8 years and on 12/08/17 (A mere 7 months ago...) the following answer was posted. I don't know what they were thinking, but here it is, complete and unabridged, with my comments in square brackets:
"I'd like to post this as a separate answer as it somewhat contrasts the accepted one: [Somewhat contrasts? More like completely contradicts...]
Yes, it does make a performance difference as it reduces parsing time - and that's often the critical thing. For me, it was even just simply linear in the size and I could get it from 12s to 4s parse time by minifying from 3MB to 1MB. [First off, your parse time should NEVER be THE critical thing, but secondly, and more importantly, WHO THE FUCK HAS 1MB OF MINIFIED JS ON A PAGE!!!]
It's not a big app either, it just has a couple of reasonable dependencies. [THERE IS ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY NOTHING REASONABLE ABOUT ANYTHING HE JUST SAID! What dependancies is he using?! You could use minified and not even gzipped jQuery, AngularJS, Vue, Ember, React, AND Dojo libraries on the SAME PAGE, AND have 118k of application code, AND STILL NOT HAVE HIT 1MB QUITE YET!!!]
So the moral of the story here is: Yes, minifying is important for performance - and not because of bandwidth, but because of parsing. [Javascript should NEVER take longer to parse then to download, even on a low powered device...]"
So, yeah, I'm at a loss for what this guy was thinking, but the thought the people like this exist, and that my browser might one day be subjected to their horrific nightmare of code terrifies me...2 -
Time to switch to offline and hide in some dark corner to get work done. Tired of all the IM’s and coming over to my desk from 1 person for “critical” work. If they’re all critical then none of them are truly critical. If you sit on the data for 2 months, and then today is the day it becomes critical and the compliance issue is because of your ineptitude then its a you problem not an IT problem. Then on top of that you submit your data to be loaded in the incorrect request form and spreadsheet format you can go fuck yourself asking this be done in an hour. It could be done in 15 minutes if you had it in the correct format as specified in the 20 meetings over the past year which removed all manual analysis and automated the entire process you idiot. Now I have to get it into the correct format in that hour so I don’t have to do the analysis for you.
I have other things to do besides your etl tickets, like finding the actual problems in our actual critical applications. You know the ones where the VP’s of this giant corporation start calling if they go down.
Sorry for the rambling guys. -
Yay finally summer started
Ye no fuck that
After being "migrated" into a newer smaller office and getting another team member we are now three people on about 5 square meters of space.
Another good thing is that we don't have an air conditioning unit in the new room and gained a few more PCs.
Oh and did I mention that we are on the sunny side of the building now.
Basically we are working in Satan's Asshole now. Good thing is that I am working on a thermometer now.
35 degrees Celsius is still alright isn't it?
Oh and our fan broke today.4 -
How our MIS/IT department handles problems...
Once upon a time a long time ago, a C level suit opened ransomware from an email with a link in it via Dropbox.
Two years in, even the marketing department, who are all using iMacs for digital media creation, inbound marketing, and website development, and alsohave more common sense than the lowly Excel minions, are still blocked from using Dropbox.
Thank god for Socks5 Proxying and an SSH tunnel to our web server. ;) I can has all the things.
1 -
Writes a slot of code,
Closes laptop and goes for sleep,,
Wakes up opens laptop
commits and git push
and sleeps happily.
who knows there might be robbery at night, or fire in home or may be earthquake. -
Having fun with my nvidia graphic card 😎..........
I am talking about graphic card's packet not graphic card LOL
1 -
A couple of months ago I watched all 3 seasons of 'Halt and Catch Fire'. I thought it was excellent. If im honest I enjoyed it more than mr robot (and I loved that). Still not seen Silicon Valley though (it's gonna cost too much).7
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Need a dirt cheap tablet for basic bedtime needs, reading, surfing, mailing, movies, music, devrant for less than £100.
Amazon just released the fire HD8. Perfect. Ordered. -
best boss!!
Something positive for a change and hopefully the notion that you can fire your horrible boss! (i.e. get another job because you are awesome!) -
Through the darkness of future past
The programmer longs to see
One chants out between two platforms:
CODE COMPILE FOR ME -
[Question]
If there is an fire, smoke starts to fill the room quickly, and you are working on your code, will you "git commit / git push"?4 -
Start a business, it'll be fun they said. One of those days you'll realise that you're in a situation where you'll have to fire a friend from your engineering team, there's no way around it..
People keep on thinking and saying
"You're so lucky, you can choose the clients and the team, and work whenever you want to.."
Yep. Highest highs and lowest lows go hand in hand. Thank god there's both.1 -
Sorry guys for the lack of content on the stream last week. I'll be back with more fire than ever I promise.2
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Turn on colorful lights
Fire up some crackers
Consume sweets
Browse places with friends
Debug darkness
Reboot your inner system
😀 HAPPY DIWALI 😀
✨✨🎈🎊🎋🎑🎊🎏🎀🎁2 -
oh god, my Google Launcher/Google Now or whatever it is called "Stories to read" is filled with April Fool's Day articles... 😑4
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It's not every day that the solution to a long-standing mild frustration with a server is to blacklist the kernel module for video drivers.
5 years of never having an accessible console on that box was not the "headless" I had in mind all this time. I was finally able to solve the black screen by forcefully ignoring Intel's broken video drivers. Thanks Intel.2 -
It is always good to get rid of bad blood.
Hire slowly, fire quickly, do both decisively.
Don’t get emotional. Your emotions will betray you.
✌🏼5 -
Removing a kiwi tree is like unsubscribing every single spam you receive and hoping they don't ever come back.
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My company forces our users to use ie in compatibility mode for intranet
Fuck this shit:
<meta http-equiv="X-UA-Compatible" content="IE=edge" />1 -
Imagine a "development" environment with no vcs, no APIs, no general hierarchy for db admin or software development, no test environment. Well this was my first job.
Quite literally a dumpster fire.
I know I'm not a world class developer but I still think this was beyond unacceptable for a software startup.2 -
Help. I work with a guy who really wants to learn programming (he’s sales/support rn) and is even taking some courses on it. He seems eager enough to learn, the problem is he is just so fucking stupid I don’t know whether to encourage him or level with him.
He somehow managed to pass a course on Java (which I still don’t believe since I had to help him put his lines of code in the right order ffs), but now he’s signed up for C++ and data structures and I honestly don’t know how he’s going to do it.
This is the type of guy who loves “coding” but thinks debugging is a waste of time.
Normally I encourage anyone who wants to learn programming do so, but let’s be honest it does take a modicum of intelligence and this guy has zero common sense at all. We’re talking about a guy who sent me a *screenshot* of an Excel file that I needed to copy some activation codes from. And then had absolutely no idea what was wrong when I replied “are you fucking with me right now?”
*sigh*
And that’s not even scratching the surface. I sent him a zip file containing some updated code and walked him through how to update them on Slack (really basic, copy/replace files stuff). Then the VERY next day when I sent him a second update he asks “is there something you want me to do with this?”
The instructions were literally the last thing we talked about in the chat log.
I actually fear the stuff this guy would unleash upon the world if someone were actually able to teach him how to write a whole program.
What should I do? Right now my plan is to be vaguely supportive but secretly hope he will realize he’s in over his head and drop out before any damage is done. But my worry is he may just be SO dumb that he actually thinks he can do it. At that point I guess I just have to put my faith in his school and pray that they aren’t just giving degrees away to whoever can afford them. Because fear the day this guy ever gets a degree in programming.5 -
Fuck you IE. Seriously. I need you to NOT fire the storage event when the tab is in focus. So what happens as soon as I leave the tab? Storage event fires, app breaks. God, you're useless!1
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Well, it's been a few shitty and dark days... Somehow this made me smile a bit
https://neowin.net/news/...2 -
I was supposed to relieve work last Friday and then as per request of HR on last moment, i had to postpone it to tomorrow.
Guess what, today evening boss comes and asks if really want to relieve tomorrow and then tells to change it to 31st. I tried to say no.
Then HR talked to me and his excuse was he got the dates messed up. He thought tomorrow was Friday. Fucking lie. I remember him saying it was a Wednesday when he told.
I'm seriously annoyed and tired of sitting there and being absolutely doing nothing productive other than fixing bugs assigned to team mates. I don't want to write any new code or participate in coding decision on the project, because i think that's just asking for more trouble. Team mates gotta learn to work on their own instead of relying me for every stupid little thing. I can't concentrate to work on my thing there, i just want to get out of that environment asap.
3 more boring days to pass, assuming i dont have to come on sat and sun.
😑2 -
I am using Dell Insipiron 7567.
I have dual booted my rig with Ubuntu 18.04 and Windows 10.
Right from the start itself I couldn't get to the screen of trying or installing with default settings. I had to use 'nomodeset' with 'quiet splash'.
Even after installing I had problems. After some hours of searching I found out that installing Nvidia 390 driver would remove the bug. It did. But my rig heats like shit. And throttles very much. Where as I am not using anything other than
1.chrome
2.vscode
3.terminal
Which i think is very normal?
And looor of battery drain.
I used to get around 3-5 hrs of battery life in Ubuntu Gnome 16.04 but now its like max 2 hrs.
Which is bad I guess.
I switched back to "X.Org X server" driver with "nomodeset" (without nomoseset it will load upto login page. Once i hit enter it gets stuck) it boots up but can't change the level of brighness or can't do anything related to display setting. Temperature has reduced but sacrificing on display settings.
Is there any way to remove this bug?
And additional infos
Graphics in about shows something like "llvmpipe (LMVM 6.0, 256bits)"
Guys do respond please?
18 -
So I overheard managerA firing employeeB today. It was over the phone right beside my desk so it was hard not to overhear. (Also over the phone because employeeB is in a different country so not much choice)
All in all it was pretty hard to listen to.
mA was really good about it, being understanding as they could be while also being pretty firm. eB was clearly not super happy and mA had to say some pretty tough to hear truths to get the point across.
I think I realize how hard it must be to fire someone now. Because no matter how nice about it mA was I know I'd still be super pissed at them if they were firing me like that. But at the same time they're likely not the one calling the shots so unless they really don't like you or are some kinda asshole they'd probably not enjoy being in that position either. Just seems tough is all.
I've never been fired or fired anyone, yet, so this has been my first exposure to it. I guess it's better to figure this out sooner than later.
Out of curiosity what have your firing and being fired experiences been like?2 -
5 days since my last rant. Have been busy with some work.
The important update is that I finished 2 seasons of "Halt and Catch Fire" and I loved it. Recommended to every dev for motivation and inspiration.6 -
I'm on a project that has been off the rails for a few weeks. We're no longer working off tickets/the scrum board. Clients are asking for production servers yesterday.
Things are behind. Some people are working nights and weekends. I'm one of the people who are vary vocal about not working over time and I haven't worked a single night or weekend yet (we're salary exempt too; no extra pay).
I even bought up in a meeting how I was not happy about people being guilt tripped for not working over (our PO messaged me out of band a few weeks back telling me my teammates would appreciate me putting in more effort).
I agreed to work this Sunday and already regret it, even though they said there'd be compensation (without mentioning what that compensation is). I was also told everyone is doing it and that's not true either.
In my 18 years in IT, I've worked at ~ 13 companies. This one is in the bottom 3 for sure.2 -
EVACUATE NOW! Early this morning I was woken by the fire alarm at my apartment. I jumped out of bed and immediately reached for my laptop. After carefully sliding it into its bag (top side up of course), I grasped it tightly, took a deep breath and ran to safety.2
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When all your work is due, and you're busy as all get out.... And there's /literally/ a fire drill 😡2
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Silicon Valley started again yesterday !!!! Yaay...who else here watches this show and well Halt and Catch Fire ?9
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Nothing says "Productively Killer" quite like a company-wide "alert" through the building fire and emergency intercom, announcing the latest winners in an anonymous company contest.2
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IMHO, the Amazon Fire Stick represents a "race to the bottom" for media devices in terms of interface design, functionality and app support.
They join the Apple TV waiting there since the second generation device.
Everything you could ever want to stream is either a few hundred clicks away or on a different device. -
I'm halfway through season 3 of Halt and Catch Fire and I believe Cameron is my most hated movie character ever. That fcking manipulative useless piece of shit. Just fuck urself. Fcking garbage disposal wouldn't be able to dispose of ur bitch ass. I'm not sure if I can finish the season but it feels like she can't get any worse, wouldn't be surprised tho.
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Google cloud fire store was a fucking mistake. Anyone have recommendations for free NoSQL databases that work with python/flask and allow small projects to host for free?7
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By the end of the day my eyes always feel like they are on fire.
After four years of this it is time to get some blue light filtering computer glasses.6 -
Sometimes I just want to see the world burn.
Unfortunately I'm the one who'll be ranting once I get back to that in the future.
4 -
!rant
I need opinions: Amazon Fire Stick or Google Chromecast?
I want Hulu, Netflix, Crunchy Roll, Amazon Prime TV, and WWE Network.
I welcome all opinions. Remote strength, price, ease of use, and stability are my main concerns.
I also might jail break it and/or try to develop apps for it.
Sorry if a repost but this is a random thought from an alcohol addled mind.
I would use a laptop on every tv, but cost vs benefit says no.3 -
PROTIP: If you go outdoors for recreation and you happen to be hiking in dry country where there is obviously a lot of potential tinder around you, don't be a dumbass and light off fireworks.
The lingering smell of burning is not conducive to creating software.
With the AQI north of 170, the building's HVAC can't keep up.1 -
Give me a single reason, why someone will use XML over JSON. I am trying to parse a XML file in Java and it builds a null document everytime. HELP!!5
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Space X had a "Static fire anamoly" today. Apparently at work everyone is having a "Static intelligence anamoly".
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Fire alarm goes off in my building at 1.30am this morning, then continues on until 3am until someone remembered the code to turn it off.
Turns out it was a false alarm... For the fourth time this month.
I've now arrived at the conclusion our fire alarm is sentient and becomes enraged by people sleeping.
Concentrating will be fun today... -
seems like halt and catch fire will never be able to gather audience because it is too techy like mr robot. In my opinion they should release it as online series1
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Java's garbage collector must be broken - it failed to get rid of this dumpster fire another dev called "source code". But, hey, at least the profiler works.
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Does anyone know whats the concept for creating an ios app that fire notification everyday at 5am with different message set for each day. #xcode #swift16
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Once I had a meeting with a employee. He asked for some bonus money and I wanted to fire him. Was weird.2
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Nexus 5 almost caught fire because I vomited on it in my sleep whilst it was on charge.. my work colleagues found this Hilarious1
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Some more song ideas: the root, the root, the root is on fire... and „don‘t fear the root shell“....2
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y'ALL I AM LEARNING ADB/FASTBOOT
WHY DIDN'T I TRY THIS SOONER
now i just need a rom that's compatible with the kindle fire 1st gen, firefirefire, and twrp 2.2.2.1 -
When you have to make frontend changes to keep boss happy, so they prioritise time to put out the fire in the backend.
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Realizing it's only halfway through the week, and there's another one (probably) just like it coming up in 4 days
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Why did halt and catch fire got discuntinued? I really loved that show. And I think it's one of the best cs themed show.1
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I want to fire crucio on my office people.No specific reason,but I have seen them enough for this week.Thankfully , weekends are finally here.
2 -
I would like to hire some 3 week Treehouse programmer just to fire them after 3 days. Damn good we have better standards. Treehouse, your video commercial sucks.
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"Everything is on fire" isn't just an expression uses by developers, its a feature used on every project!1
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I'd like to ask peoples opinions on building cross platform apps. So basically I'm on windows, and these insatiably annoying project leads (I fell for the "you code make me an app" one) want it to be cross platform. My first thought was PWAs, but then read that apple are dicks and some of the most important features are not actually supported (#!@?). So then it's ionic or Cordova, but who likes CSS? Or Angular 2? And for a native experience, I'd want to follow both iOS and android design patterns in the same codebase which is way beyond my pay grade. React native comes from Facebook, so I already hate it. Should I just build an android app and cross the iOS bridge later or build a not very native feeling, not vertically centred cross platform Cordova thing? Anyone who's had experience using Cordova care to comment on their successes / failures?13
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The video shorts done by the devRant team surpasses the crap that shows like "Silicon Valley" or "Halt and Catch Fire" put out.
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