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"Could you build me a blog for 100€"
I 'could'. But I 'could' also stick a pencil in my eye or set my cock on fire.37 -
Just had a fire drill at school. I yelled "GIT PUSH!! GIT PUSH!!".
I've always wanted to do that... :P13 -
I FUCKING HATE when you visit a website – any website – and you get dozens of these shoved in your face:
"Use the app!"
"Get the app!"
"Try the app!"
"Why not use the app?"
Because it fucking sucks! Get off my back! Go fuck yourselves and drown in cum!
Why don't you at least TRY to make your app work properly BEFORE shoving all these annoying messages in my face, you whore-bred human waste?
No, I don't want to use your fucking app! No, I don't want you fuckers to spy on me even more than you already do! No, I don't want you to fucking remind me five times in a minute, that you have a fucking app, that doesn't do what it's supposed to do renotely well, but still perfectly sends my morning piss color nuances every day, without any problems.
99% of all native apps could have been build with a prooer web interface and wouldn't lose the slightest bit of usability.
You can die in a fucking hotel fire for all I care, but I won't install your shitty spyware.49 -
Apple has Air
Amazon has Fire
Google has Earth
Microsoft should really create something called Water31 -
I once set a customers server on fire.
Litterally.
I put my laptop ontop of the server rack and the additional heat generated caused blue smoke to fill the room.
The whole building had to be evacuated.
Firetrucks came.
The customer eyeballed me quite a bit after he talked to the firemarshal regarding where the fire had originated.11 -
!rant
*Theoretical computer scientist is at an interview.*
Interviewer: “Imagine that you are walking down a road and see a house on fire. What do you do?”
CS Guy: “I dial the police and tell them that the house is on fire.”
Interviewer: “Good. Now, imagine that you are walking down the same road, and you see that the same house is not on fire. What do you do?”
CS Guy: *Ponders for a little while.* “I put the house on fire and reduce it to a problem I’ve solved before.”10 -
I was working in a small startup with very cool people as a GameDev. One day I turned towards my colleague to tell him about a joke I just read and I saw flames coming out of his CPU. He was so focused on his work that he didn't notice.
I yelled "OH, SHIT' and quickly reached to the main switch and turned it off. Everyone turned towards me to yell at me, but then they saw the flames and everyone ran outside.
After few minutes the flames died. My colleague was in shock to lose his work as the HDD was completely burned.11 -
*Theoretical computer scientist is at an interview.*
Interviewer: “Imagine that you are walking down a road and see a house on fire. What do you do?”
CS Guy: “I dial the police and tell them that the house is on fire.”
Interviewer: “Good. Now, imagine that you are walking down the same road, and you see that the same house is not on fire. What do you do?”
CS Guy: *Ponders for a little while.* “I put the house on fire, thus reducing it to a problem I’ve solved before.”2 -
Slimy recruiter: "In your own opinion, what do you think are your best and your worst character traits as a developer?"
Me: "I am a well-versed, meticulous – not to say compulsive – and irascible misanthrope, who enjoys stalking and bestially murdering obtrusive recruiters. But enough of my good qualities. How about I tell you about my bad qualities at a personal meeting?
Slimy recruiter: …
I suppose this should be enough to keep this fucktard from asking me any further uncalled-for profiling questions in the near future.
Somebody should really invent some kind of a digital pesticide to get rid of these spineless, annoying, greedy, lying, stupid worthless fucks.10 -
FUCK OFF. It's 2 days before a deadline, I'm wearing headphones and clearly focused and you have the fucking audacity to interrupt me because you're fucking bored? Go light yourself on fire you fucking cunt8
-
Honestly if the StackOverflow community was set on fire and I had a huge tank of water
People in Africa wouldn't die from thrist anymore.19 -
Hello {Project}, my old friend. I've come to debug you again
Because the scope is softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was developing
And the misery that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence...
In restless dreams I debugged alone
Narrow file of cobbled code
‘Neath the halo of a desk lamp
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of git checkin
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence
And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand bugs and maybe more
People coding without asking
People coding without listening
People writing code that they never share
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of silence
Fools, said I, you do not know
{Project} like a cancer grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach you
But my words, like silent raindrops fell
And echoed in the wells of silence.
And the people bowed and prayed
To the kludgy app they made
And the sign flashed out its warning
In the words that it was forming
And the sign said, the words of the prophets are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls
And whispered in the sounds of silence16 -
I've ranted so much, this is where they moved me to. They couldn't fire my because I was too valuable an asset to the project.
13 -
If you disrupt my working flow and you're not
1) On fire.
2) About to explode.
3) You're dog is dead(dogs are the shit)
4) Snoop dog is in the building
Then you're a cunt.23 -
A recruiter just called me three times in a row withing 5 minutes, apparently hanging up each time after after ringing once.
WHAT THE FLYING RAT'S CUNT?
If you want people to take your fucking slave jobs, cutting their fuse short by getting on their tits every few few minutes will only achieve you ending up in the gutter with several deep, gaping stab wounds – if I ever find out where the fuck you live that is.
The most maddening thing is, I wasn't aware it was a fucking recruiter, I just thought there might be an accident or emergency somewhere, so I called back, being greeted by some fucktard who pretended to be surprised by me, not only calling them back, but calling them at all.
YOU CALLED ME, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!
That's what I actually told him, plus to go fuck his mongoloid brother with a strap-on dildo just like his dad used to do him.
I don't even know, neither do I want to, what 'amazing and unique opportunity' this fucking lying shithead had allegedly lined up for me 'exclusively', because it's most likely washing dishes or Java and fucking 'Ahngoolah' once again.
I'm so fucking sick of recruiters and their scammy ways of 'exciting' people into forgetting they're disgusted by recruiters for a fucking minute, so they can lie without consequence. I wish they'd all die slowly suffocating, their lungs filled with their own blood and feces.22 -
Co Worker: "Your computer is missing a mouse!"
Me: "I require less dependencies to use a computer"
BBUUUURRRRNN10 -
Being a programmer is easy!
It's like riding a bike
Except
The bike is on fire
you're on fire
everything is on fire
and you're in hell5 -
CSS is easy. It’s like riding a bike, which is on fire and the ground is on fire and everything is on fire because it is hell.8
-
Interviewer: Tell me your previous achievements.
Me: I had a level 213 fire mage.
Interviewer:
Me:15 -
Portugal is burning
500+ fires active
31 confirmed deads in 1 day...
A large one almost reached my house, saved by two man with construction machines. Still houses burned, gás bottles exploding like shotguns at a distance...
It's the end off the summer...
And now im at work, a new fire started close by...
28 -
I sometimes look at the code of the guy who had my job before me and I think.
Delete it.
Delete it all.
Delete it with fire.
Use the developer as kindling so it never happens again.10 -
I really love my job these cold, rainy autumn days with yellow trees, where I can work from home having a nice fire going in the fireplace and the dog sleeping on my feet :-)
10 -
Since no one has mentioned it - Happy birthday, Linux.
And thank you, who goes through fire and water debugging this enormous creature (this could've been worse, right?) -
Citizens are advised not to use Firewalls on their devices or Networks, as there can be a fire threat from enabling those.
An active cooperation is expected from everyone.
Stay safe and have a nice day :)4 -
Boss: Every one of my employees is underperforming. What should I do?
Catbert: You should fire yourself because you're the only common variable.
Boss: I hadn't considered that.
Catbert: That's how I know I'm right.
...credit~ dilbert.com -
If Windows 10 auto changes my keyboard to US one more fucking time I'm going to move it off my PC on to an external HDD and fuck it in a fucking volcano before moving to Linux.
SORT YOUR SHIT OUT WINDOWS, I'M CLEARLY IN THE FUCKING UK.
/Rant15 -
Told some guy who was parking next to the emergency exit to move his car. He was like "uhm, well, you're not going to have an emergency anyway.."
*fire alarm starts*
Perfect timing ^^5 -
Working on a project called ...fire... on linux, when suddenly realised, that
`$ touch fire` is a bad idea6 -
When you get so excited you burst out signing "🎶MY CODE IS ON FIRE🎶"(Alicia keys "this girl is on fire" reference) forgetting your in a room with your fellow developers.....
5 minutes later there still laughing4 -
Never put more than 1 sentence in an email. People never fucking read more than the first line. Then they fire back an email with questions you already answered. Arghhh bastards.1
-
Dear Microsoft,
Please kill Internet Explorer post haste. The last time I want to hear "IE" is from the screaming sounds of your hated browser dying in a fire.
Sincerely,
A web dev17 -
Do NOT I repeat do NOT git clone into an iCloud Synced folder then run yarn dev. iCloud tried to sync 30k files (maxed out all CPUs), MacBook got super hot almost caught blanket on fire.5
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I hope we'll see more of Gilfoyle in the next season of Silicon Valley because that guy is fucking fire3
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"It couldn't be more true."
Yeah, it LITERALLY motherfucking can't, you stinking, arse whoring, glory hole occupying, arsehole rimming, snot gurgling, cum snorting, weasel fingering, cat raping, copper coin rent boy!
F-U-C-K!88 -
!rant
Friendly reminder, please check the fire alarms in your house.
Buy a fire extinguisher if you don't have one.14 -
When you are coding, put your coffeepot on fire, and forgot about it for two hours.
My life suck tonight.
13 -
CSS is easy. Its like riding a bike, which is on Fire and the ground is on fire and everything is on fire because It is hell.9
-
ever got a task to modify legacy code and when you looked at it you were like... burning it with fire is the only way!
1 -
up at 11:30pm finishing some work when fire alarm goes off.... waited to see if my tests passed before leaving3
-
A continuation to @n3xus's post.
My only Chinese reseller / eBay experience is getting these two arduinos for about $3.50 CAD . Worth it. And only slightly scared of them catching on fire.
10 -
i just installed Blokada on my kindle fire, and I left it on standby for around 30 minutes. The result? This monstrosity is something Linuxxx would love to see
30 -
@dfox @trogus
I would like an option to disable sharing on Facebook and Twitter, and everything related to external social networks.
Disable everything related to Facebook and Twitter.
Absolutely anything that communicates with these evil networks.
Cut it.
Please.26 -
*spends a long time crafting a huge eBay post (we're moving)
* tries to drag and drop first picture
* page navigates to the picture without warning
* loses everything
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
WHEN DRAGGING A PICTURE INTO A WEB PAGE I NEVER WANT TO NAVIGATE TO A PAGE WITH JUST THAT IMAGE. WHY NO WARNING BEFORE LEAVING THE PAGE. WHY DON'T YOU SAVE TEXT LOCALLY. WHY DOES THE WEB SUCK SO HARD. AAAGGGHHHH.
* feels better
* starts over9 -
!Rant
I highly recommend everyone fire at least one client in your lifetime. It is a glorious feeling!3 -
Network admins deleted the VM my team's git server ran in.
I'm trying to focus my fury into a work appropriate message to their boss.
"fire everyone" is my first response, what would you do?7 -
Right i'm building a new interview test. Short and simple, I give the potential hire a laptop with a browser open on this: http://jasonette.com/
If he / she recoils in horror, they are hired.20 -
I'm OK with C language, but I refuse to learn Shell. My co-workers who use shell don't talk to anyone and look like zombies. Hell no. I don't even know their names after working 2 months together. Fire me.
12 -
There was fire in the below ground generator, smoke pulled out, in home, alive. Electricity not coming, hope it gets fixed soon.
Thank god i am alive.
And i managed to save my final year project files.
Yay!8 -
Saw this on a article about"who to fire"
Funny how almost everyone who decides who to fire are themselves in the lower left hand corner
5 -
Giving functions exciting names so you can feel like a Bond villain while programming:
execute(); destroy(); fire(); isDead();6 -
When you are listening to music while coding and the music is on fire so you hit the same button on the keyboard several times to go with the beat 😂1
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Holy fucking shit! What the actual fuck is this?!!!
The funny part: this is not the worst e-mail I got from them, the person who is responsible for these e-mails should have been fired 2 years ago.
7 -
Me: I don't know why people hate CSS so much. It works fine for me 😑
Inner me: Liar, Liar, Pants on fire 🔥 😂7 -
I fucking HATE webpack! What a massive, stinking pile of shit this so-called build tool is!
It's as if the creators asked themselves "how can we create the most annoying, obtrusive, ugly and chaotic SHIT LOAD of a fucking build tool and troll people into spending hours configuring that fucking abomination?" while drunk and then made it even worse, awful beyond all their sadistic, childish wet dreams, by fucking up the completely and utterly useless documentation; only the largely imaginary docs of 99% of all the webpack plugins are worse.
I understand the need for versatile tools in the annoying JavaScript world that changes thrice a day, but fuck me with a barbed, cyanide-dipped ten foot pole, if I ever grow to like this fucking torture device called webpack.
Is there anybody who likes to waste his time with webpack? If so, I fucking hate you too.
Fuck it, I'll use Rollup, now. Even if it takes ten hours, it's going to be less annoying than one more minute with 'crabsack'.
Fuck you, Webpack, I hope your inventor dies in a fucking hotel fire!10 -
It's near enough 1 AM right now.
So will someone please explain to me why my thick shit of a housemate is cooking burgers WITHOUT OIL and setting the FUCKING FIRE ALARMS OFF, WHEN HE KNOWS I CAN NEVER SLEEP AND HAVE TO BE UP AT 4.30.
If they go off again, I'm pressing his face against the frying pan13 -
Oh the beauty of WYSIWYG etitors...
I don't know which one I'm more amazed of. All that beautiful styling for a simple line break or that incredibly accurate and absolute neccessary line-height value.
I guess it's time for a strip tag massacre.
6 -
Before production deployment: Everything is running well, all bugs are fixed, serenity sets in.
Production deployment day: Fire everywhere
goddamit we don't get a fucking break2 -
As à french developer, today I learned we can use accent in variable name.
Like let étude = undefined.
Why would use accent in variable name ? Huh ?
I wonder if I have to fire the guy who made me discover this.9 -
Headphones on when you sneeze. Do you assume someone said bless you and fire off a thank you, or assume no one said it and risk being the guy that doesn't thank a bless you?7
-
Just had a fire at work.
git add, git commit, git push.
No one was hurt. But, the fire was in a server room and the git server is down. At least the halon deployed successfully.
The off site backup should be up in 20 mins. I wonder how often they pull the repo.5 -
I've honestly seen that "In case of fire: git commit, git push, leave building" image like 12 times.
Lads, we get it.
Give it a rest.9 -
STOP. FUCKING. REINSTALLING. BROKEN. NVIDIA DRIVERS. WINDOWS 10.
DIE IN A FUCKING PIT OF FIRE I CAN’T EVEN WATCH A YOUTUBE VIDEO UNDER 1 FPS1 -
We hired a new senior dev. The lead architect is going over basic bit branching and commits with him. This new job already feels like a dumpster covered in petrol.3
-
My 'in case of fire' alias
git config --global alias.FIRE "!git checkout -b fire-branch; git commit -am 'FIRE'; git push -u origin fire-branch"12 -
Apparently the fire hose in our building wasn't connected to the water main, because the legislation stated the building owner had to install a fire hose, not connect a fire hose to the water main.1
-
So yesterday i solved 7 tickets on my own for this project while the teammate was "testing".
Solved nothing and checked fb or new everytime i took a look at his screen.
Can comeone please fire this guy?1 -
Marketing and Sales must be pretty satisfied with my work now. They only threatened to fire me once this week.8
-
When someone is so used to being told no that they argue with you for 20 minutes when you agree with them.
-
*installing linux on my mini laptop*
- Dad: "you should make a backup image of windows 10"
- Me: "LOL NOPE!"
(With 2gb of ram, linux makes it the perfect lightweight coding machine. But with W10? Jesus christ)6 -
Buuuuullshiiiiiiit.
(Sorry for the picture of a screen, can't take screenshots when updating I think)
17 -
*reverts a layout file to the one in git*
*gradle fails, no components found, electricity goes off, office catches fire, the world ends*4 -
load average: 348.58, 293.64, 179.93
Um, wat?
1) What are you doing little server?!
2) How could you possibly find the time to tell me that?!3 -
Lotus Notes is absolutely the worst platform known to man. Every time a ticket comes in I want to set the Domino servers on fire.11
-
Rock up at work 10:30.
"What are you doing out your wanking chariot this early?"
"Aye, was there a fire where you live or something?"
Good thing I have flexitime!1 -
Being thrown in the deep end, baptism by fire is the best/worst way to learn a new codebase
Its not appropriate for everyone but it weirdly works -
Woow, who designed this shit!??! My eyes are litrely on fire!!!!
Goash, i better should turn a dark mode on
3 -
Achievement of the day:
Reverted a merge from 3 weeks ago (about 30-40 commits back), 1000 ish LOC. Didnt break the build, app worked 100%.
Can't shake the feeling my desk will literally be on fire tomorrow tho. -
Just started onboarding the new hire and it made me realise how much of a dumpster fire some of our code is
-
// Delivery manager rant part #2
When one of your many stakeholders asks "why isn't feature X built yet?"
Response: have you seen the state of production lately???? Do you really think your item is top of our priority list right now?
-
A group of ten top software engineers is sent to a class for aspiring managers.
The teacher walks in and asks this question:"You work for a software company which develops avionics (software that controls the instruments of an airplane).
One day you are taking a business trip. As you get on the plane you see a plaque that says this plane is using a beta of the software your team developed. Who would get off?"Nine developers raised their hands.
The teacher looked at the tenth and asked, "Why would you stay on?
"The tenth said, "if my team wrote the software, the plane would not get off the ground3 -
mr robot, halt and catch fire, silicon valley, tvf pitchers.....
any suggestions for movies like pirates of silicon valley?5 -
You're gonna use the 3D printer she said… You're gonna learn JavaScript she said… nope, all we learnt was three HTML tags that confused most people1
-
Apple iPhone batteries catch on fire yesterday and today at two different Apple Stores
*Scrolling news on OP5T and laughing *7 -
Intern tries to merge a huge commit without knowing what he's doing. Breaks half the app. I'm at 30 min and counting of having to fix everything he broke.14
-
So I decided to help my Mom's Mom setup an Amazon Fire TV. Now I've been here for about 3 - 4 hours and I'm setting up 2 Fire Tv's, A Router, Writting down passwords, setting up an Amazon account with Prime and fixing her computer.. 😤😢3
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We've all seen bad code in our time. The code I'm currently looking at needs to die horribly in a fire. In fact, that doesn't even seem extreme enough for this monstrosity
-
That fear of messing up an already flawed program and making it more fucked up.
The lack of confidence is real. T.T2 -
Fake sticker story time. It is fucking on fire. Then I press npm install twice. Forgot node modules in gitignore. Then got push to production served by Jenkins. Now get the fuck out of here.
1 -
Has anyone switched to the new fire fox?I have I'm actually pretty happy with it it feels smooth and nice i just wanna know if anyone else likes it53
-
The Halt and Catch Fire writers and tech experts must have lived those days. Totally nailed it to the finest detail. I am impressed. Show me a 10mg (how will I ever fill it up) Bernoulli platter 😀
Great series but warning it is not a comedy like Silicon. Very different but amazing how some things are same as today in concept.7 -
We just had a fire alarm at school. We are allowed to go home.
Now I have enough time to finish a project and read a book.
🔥🔥🔥🔥3 -
When you get so used to the terminal that you fire one up just to rename a file even though the GUI is right in front of you1
-
What's your programming victory ritual?
I start dancing like a caveman who discovered fire and battle rap all the bugs and logic errors into oblivion.3 -
People that design programming languages that have indices that start at 1 should just be crucified and set on fire6
-
Don't freaking urgent request me! Your ass better be literally on fire, otherwise you are wasting my time!2
-
Super excited to have gotten the rare opportunity to completely re-write an old VB WinForms application instead of just hacking in functionality. Still has to be WinForms for various reasons, but getting to build it with MVP, separated concerns, testable logic, TDD, and not using in line SQL makes me feel like a pioneer of an old code base 😎
Actually, the biggest challenge is porting over the old functionality so it works the same! Nobody at the company was around when it was built so going from the code up (instead of outlining functionality first then making code) is difficult, but still worth it!
Shout out to all the other times we've had to hack in functionality to SHITTY code bases.... sometimes the re-write comes!!
Now I just need to not fuck it up 😅4 -
Fucking drills.
I spent 1 hour to get in my zone and they have to do an unorganised unhelpful fire drill. Fucking timewaste. Why? 😫3 -
My weather report just says "delete" for friday. ("Löschen" in german)
Seems good weather app, seems good! 🤔
11 -
👦🏻 : I Enter office.
🕵🏻 : 8 emails from client with subject line "Urgent Fire! Fix ASAP".
👦🏻 : Opens Application and everything seems normal.
-- Another email 5 mins later --
🕵🏻 : Oops sorry! It was my browser cache.
👦🏻 : 🙄3 -
Boss fast tracked a release for a customer. No testing. Not checking commits or the state. Undocumented requirement brings down everything and everyone is running around with their hair on fire. Sigh.2
-
Suck some dick, O2.
(Translation TL;DR: From 25th May Telefonica Germany will collect data in order to offer personalized offers)
5 -
After several days of going through all stages of grief, and also several brickings, I have finally successfully rooted my Kindle Fire HD 6 and installed Cyanogenmod.
-
So we are preparing to deploy the changes onto production and some fucker decides to play with the fire alarm.
-
Dear hex.pm website, please fire the developer who programmed this email and employ me. I grantee you I am better than this asshole.
-
Things you should not say on your last day of work:
If I broke it, I think it would be pretty obvious. -
Any IDE that doesn't go to the end of line when you press the down arrow key on the last line of the file, should be burned with hell fire.2
-
When I first started reading about Angular 4 I must admit I was a bit excited. It seemed like it fit the company enterprise requirements. The improvements it offered on paper looked quite good for our use case. HOWEVER... After writing Angular 4 for two weeks I'm seriously doubting I made the right decision. Testing is a dependency hell and there are two ways to build and structure your application. The webpack way and the SystemJS way. The grunt way and the angular-cli way. For fuck sake Google. And the documentation is somewhat half supporting one thing, half supporting another. So when you're using angular-cli with webpack, you're pretty much screwed when we're talking about documentation. It has now taken me almost 50 hours to write a pretty basic Angular app, made it compliant with our staging environment and writing a Makefile for it, since I haven't been able to find any same way to provide custom arguments when building it with the angular-cli --aot option. So fuck you Google. Luckily I've found a way to modularize it so much that I'll be able to reuse the core in the future. So I guess I got that thing going for me, which is nice... -.-' *sigh*
-
There should be a launch button wired to the clients' seats in meetings so you can fire them in to the sun while sitting in front.
I don't get how they can be so dimwitted sometimes...2 -
Plot: Senior management, "lets fire this guy asap !!!"
Twist: It's been several months and the management has not communicated, spoken or done anything to this guy.
WTF is going on here. 😕1 -
Question time! What was your first programming job or internship experience like? What I mean is, were you eased in or was it baptism by fire?
Mine is currently baptism by fire, coffee, and no sleep7 -
In the country, Sunday morning, gale blowing, internet off/on, coffee, warm fire: Coding day or not?
-
To the people who keep overwriting our meeting room bookings in Outlook, fuck you and I hope you all die in a fire.1
-
The business is prioritizing error reporting for issues we are aware of over actually fixing the bugs. Isn't that kind of like installing smoke detectors in a house that's already on fire instead of calling the fire department?1
-
Halt and Catch Fire. Watch this serie. Just do. Specially if you are 30 or older, and/or entrepreneur. https://ororo.tv/en/shows/... . 2 episodes per day in this link.
3 -
Frontend web development is a fucking jungle. I feel like bloody Bear Grylls whenever I come out of my backend cave - shit's overwhelming, yo.2
-
Halt and Catch Fire is having another great season. Lived those days and it is so true. CompuServe, Compaq, Commodore, 5 1/4", Tandy 1000, Byte Mag, Atari, The Well... The tech you see is really 1985ish. Attention to detail is appreciated by long time technologists.
H&CF is about building a tech business and much applies to today's startups. That two brilliant tech women are leading the charge adds to it. All the characters are great Cameron, Gordon, Donna, the devs at Mutiny and Joe channeling Jobs (in my opinion) is spot on.
Any H&CF fans have an opinion?4 -
How our MIS/IT department handles problems...
Once upon a time a long time ago, a C level suit opened ransomware from an email with a link in it via Dropbox.
Two years in, even the marketing department, who are all using iMacs for digital media creation, inbound marketing, and website development, and alsohave more common sense than the lowly Excel minions, are still blocked from using Dropbox.
Thank god for Socks5 Proxying and an SSH tunnel to our web server. ;) I can has all the things.
1 -
Writes a slot of code,
Closes laptop and goes for sleep,,
Wakes up opens laptop
commits and git push
and sleeps happily.
who knows there might be robbery at night, or fire in home or may be earthquake. -
Time to switch to offline and hide in some dark corner to get work done. Tired of all the IM’s and coming over to my desk from 1 person for “critical” work. If they’re all critical then none of them are truly critical. If you sit on the data for 2 months, and then today is the day it becomes critical and the compliance issue is because of your ineptitude then its a you problem not an IT problem. Then on top of that you submit your data to be loaded in the incorrect request form and spreadsheet format you can go fuck yourself asking this be done in an hour. It could be done in 15 minutes if you had it in the correct format as specified in the 20 meetings over the past year which removed all manual analysis and automated the entire process you idiot. Now I have to get it into the correct format in that hour so I don’t have to do the analysis for you.
I have other things to do besides your etl tickets, like finding the actual problems in our actual critical applications. You know the ones where the VP’s of this giant corporation start calling if they go down.
Sorry for the rambling guys. -
Found this song today by meme posted by @sam9669. This song's fire though + comments are true bliss. :D
1 -
Just finished watching "Halt and Catch Fire" on Netflix. If you haven't checked it out, you definitely should. It's about 80s tech disruptions. Also, any other suggestions for tech related TV series / movies? Silicon Valley, Mr. Robot etc.?8
-
Having fun with my nvidia graphic card 😎..........
I am talking about graphic card's packet not graphic card LOL
1 -
[Question]
If there is an fire, smoke starts to fill the room quickly, and you are working on your code, will you "git commit / git push"?4 -
Through the darkness of future past
The programmer longs to see
One chants out between two platforms:
CODE COMPILE FOR ME -
A couple of months ago I watched all 3 seasons of 'Halt and Catch Fire'. I thought it was excellent. If im honest I enjoyed it more than mr robot (and I loved that). Still not seen Silicon Valley though (it's gonna cost too much).7
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Start a business, it'll be fun they said. One of those days you'll realise that you're in a situation where you'll have to fire a friend from your engineering team, there's no way around it..
People keep on thinking and saying
"You're so lucky, you can choose the clients and the team, and work whenever you want to.."
Yep. Highest highs and lowest lows go hand in hand. Thank god there's both.1 -
Need a dirt cheap tablet for basic bedtime needs, reading, surfing, mailing, movies, music, devrant for less than £100.
Amazon just released the fire HD8. Perfect. Ordered. -
Sorry guys for the lack of content on the stream last week. I'll be back with more fire than ever I promise.2
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Me: HM let's fire up my old pirate game prototype and see if I can do anything with it before sea of thieves comes out and everyone says I'm copying...
*Turns on Xbox and goes to store*
Me: ah fuck! -
Nothing says "Productively Killer" quite like a company-wide "alert" through the building fire and emergency intercom, announcing the latest winners in an anonymous company contest.2
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Turn on colorful lights
Fire up some crackers
Consume sweets
Browse places with friends
Debug darkness
Reboot your inner system
😀 HAPPY DIWALI 😀
✨✨🎈🎊🎋🎑🎊🎏🎀🎁2 -
Removing a kiwi tree is like unsubscribing every single spam you receive and hoping they don't ever come back.
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It's not every day that the solution to a long-standing mild frustration with a server is to blacklist the kernel module for video drivers.
5 years of never having an accessible console on that box was not the "headless" I had in mind all this time. I was finally able to solve the black screen by forcefully ignoring Intel's broken video drivers. Thanks Intel.2 -
Imagine a "development" environment with no vcs, no APIs, no general hierarchy for db admin or software development, no test environment. Well this was my first job.
Quite literally a dumpster fire.
I know I'm not a world class developer but I still think this was beyond unacceptable for a software startup.2 -
!Rant (but for those few who keep on giving me upvotes)
First workout done today. How did it go? Really well. In fact, it went so well that I couldn't open the repurposed fire door (thick, heavy metal). -
oh god, my Google Launcher/Google Now or whatever it is called "Stories to read" is filled with April Fool's Day articles... 😑4
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My company forces our users to use ie in compatibility mode for intranet
Fuck this shit:
<meta http-equiv="X-UA-Compatible" content="IE=edge" />1 -
Silicon Valley started again yesterday !!!! Yaay...who else here watches this show and well Halt and Catch Fire ?9
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5 days since my last rant. Have been busy with some work.
The important update is that I finished 2 seasons of "Halt and Catch Fire" and I loved it. Recommended to every dev for motivation and inspiration.6 -
I was supposed to relieve work last Friday and then as per request of HR on last moment, i had to postpone it to tomorrow.
Guess what, today evening boss comes and asks if really want to relieve tomorrow and then tells to change it to 31st. I tried to say no.
Then HR talked to me and his excuse was he got the dates messed up. He thought tomorrow was Friday. Fucking lie. I remember him saying it was a Wednesday when he told.
I'm seriously annoyed and tired of sitting there and being absolutely doing nothing productive other than fixing bugs assigned to team mates. I don't want to write any new code or participate in coding decision on the project, because i think that's just asking for more trouble. Team mates gotta learn to work on their own instead of relying me for every stupid little thing. I can't concentrate to work on my thing there, i just want to get out of that environment asap.
3 more boring days to pass, assuming i dont have to come on sat and sun.
😑2 -
Fuck you IE. Seriously. I need you to NOT fire the storage event when the tab is in focus. So what happens as soon as I leave the tab? Storage event fires, app breaks. God, you're useless!1
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Spending the whole day to find out why this old AngularJs crap does return status -1 instantly after PUTting. Still no idea. Fiddler, Wireshark, nothing helps (so it's sure to say it doesn't even fire).
This sucks balls...1 -
EVACUATE NOW! Early this morning I was woken by the fire alarm at my apartment. I jumped out of bed and immediately reached for my laptop. After carefully sliding it into its bag (top side up of course), I grasped it tightly, took a deep breath and ran to safety.2
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When all your work is due, and you're busy as all get out.... And there's /literally/ a fire drill 😡2
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!rant
I need opinions: Amazon Fire Stick or Google Chromecast?
I want Hulu, Netflix, Crunchy Roll, Amazon Prime TV, and WWE Network.
I welcome all opinions. Remote strength, price, ease of use, and stability are my main concerns.
I also might jail break it and/or try to develop apps for it.
Sorry if a repost but this is a random thought from an alcohol addled mind.
I would use a laptop on every tv, but cost vs benefit says no.3 -
Space X had a "Static fire anamoly" today. Apparently at work everyone is having a "Static intelligence anamoly".
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By the end of the day my eyes always feel like they are on fire.
After four years of this it is time to get some blue light filtering computer glasses.6 -
IMHO, the Amazon Fire Stick represents a "race to the bottom" for media devices in terms of interface design, functionality and app support.
They join the Apple TV waiting there since the second generation device.
Everything you could ever want to stream is either a few hundred clicks away or on a different device. -
Give me a single reason, why someone will use XML over JSON. I am trying to parse a XML file in Java and it builds a null document everytime. HELP!!5
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Sometimes I just want to see the world burn.
Unfortunately I'm the one who'll be ranting once I get back to that in the future.
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I'm halfway through season 3 of Halt and Catch Fire and I believe Cameron is my most hated movie character ever. That fcking manipulative useless piece of shit. Just fuck urself. Fcking garbage disposal wouldn't be able to dispose of ur bitch ass. I'm not sure if I can finish the season but it feels like she can't get any worse, wouldn't be surprised tho.
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PROTIP: If you go outdoors for recreation and you happen to be hiking in dry country where there is obviously a lot of potential tinder around you, don't be a dumbass and light off fireworks.
The lingering smell of burning is not conducive to creating software.
With the AQI north of 170, the building's HVAC can't keep up.1 -
TFW when you are coding an import for a client and their source data is an inexcusable mess that should be killed with fire. At least thrice.
Seriously, someone should be held responsible for this kind of crap. -
The best love is the kind that awakens the soul; that makes us reach for more, that plants the fire in our hearts and bring peace to our minds.
My Dear ~Ruby~. -
Fire alarm goes off in my building at 1.30am this morning, then continues on until 3am until someone remembered the code to turn it off.
Turns out it was a false alarm... For the fourth time this month.
I've now arrived at the conclusion our fire alarm is sentient and becomes enraged by people sleeping.
Concentrating will be fun today... -
Nothing sensible on the internet regarding pierced batteries.. Seems like only true idiots do this and post on forums. Meanwhile I just have a bad temper. Fucking piece of shit dared to not join properly with a wire during soldering 😒
Some of the cancerous answers that I've read:
"Let's explode it and put your face right over it!"
"Pour salt water over it!! It'll be fun!"
"Should I pour water over it?"
"Should I put it outside in the rain?"
"Should I just put this bomb inside the trash can?"
How can these people still exist, but no fucking sensible answers on how to deal with pierced batteries?!
But hey, those people may just be the very people that call themselves fucking "certified engineers"!! 😡
Anyway, I have a battery in my house that's about to explode and wrapped it in multiple layers of tinfoil to contain the chemical gases and protection when it explodes. I still have faith in devRant. What should I do? 😰3 -
Nexus 5 almost caught fire because I vomited on it in my sleep whilst it was on charge.. my work colleagues found this Hilarious1
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seems like halt and catch fire will never be able to gather audience because it is too techy like mr robot. In my opinion they should release it as online series1
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Does anyone know whats the concept for creating an ios app that fire notification everyday at 5am with different message set for each day. #xcode #swift16
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Once I had a meeting with a employee. He asked for some bonus money and I wanted to fire him. Was weird.2
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Java's garbage collector must be broken - it failed to get rid of this dumpster fire another dev called "source code". But, hey, at least the profiler works.
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Yay finally summer started
Ye no fuck that
After being "migrated" into a newer smaller office and getting another team member we are now three people on about 5 square meters of space.
Another good thing is that we don't have an air conditioning unit in the new room and gained a few more PCs.
Oh and did I mention that we are on the sunny side of the building now.
Basically we are working in Satan's Asshole now. Good thing is that I am working on a thermometer now.
35 degrees Celsius is still alright isn't it?
Oh and our fan broke today.3 -
y'ALL I AM LEARNING ADB/FASTBOOT
WHY DIDN'T I TRY THIS SOONER
now i just need a rom that's compatible with the kindle fire 1st gen, firefirefire, and twrp 2.2.2.1 -
When you have to make frontend changes to keep boss happy, so they prioritise time to put out the fire in the backend.
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Some more song ideas: the root, the root, the root is on fire... and „don‘t fear the root shell“....2
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Why did halt and catch fire got discuntinued? I really loved that show. And I think it's one of the best cs themed show.1
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Realizing it's only halfway through the week, and there's another one (probably) just like it coming up in 4 days
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"Everything is on fire" isn't just an expression uses by developers, its a feature used on every project!1
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I would like to hire some 3 week Treehouse programmer just to fire them after 3 days. Damn good we have better standards. Treehouse, your video commercial sucks.
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I'm about to build a webshop for a customer with about 5000 products.
I'll also maintain the site after it's finished.
Is magento 2 the best choice or what should i go with? Fire away :)
(First post btw)2 -
I want to fire crucio on my office people.No specific reason,but I have seen them enough for this week.Thankfully , weekends are finally here.
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The video shorts done by the devRant team surpasses the crap that shows like "Silicon Valley" or "Halt and Catch Fire" put out.
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I'd like to ask peoples opinions on building cross platform apps. So basically I'm on windows, and these insatiably annoying project leads (I fell for the "you code make me an app" one) want it to be cross platform. My first thought was PWAs, but then read that apple are dicks and some of the most important features are not actually supported (#!@?). So then it's ionic or Cordova, but who likes CSS? Or Angular 2? And for a native experience, I'd want to follow both iOS and android design patterns in the same codebase which is way beyond my pay grade. React native comes from Facebook, so I already hate it. Should I just build an android app and cross the iOS bridge later or build a not very native feeling, not vertically centred cross platform Cordova thing? Anyone who's had experience using Cordova care to comment on their successes / failures?13
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