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Just had a fire drill at school. I yelled "GIT PUSH!! GIT PUSH!!".
I've always wanted to do that... :P13 -
Apple has Air
Amazon has Fire
Google has Earth
Microsoft should really create something called Water27 -
I once set a customers server on fire.
Litterally.
I put my laptop ontop of the server rack and the additional heat generated caused blue smoke to fill the room.
The whole building had to be evacuated.
Firetrucks came.
The customer eyeballed me quite a bit after he talked to the firemarshal regarding where the fire had originated.10 -
!rant
*Theoretical computer scientist is at an interview.*
Interviewer: “Imagine that you are walking down a road and see a house on fire. What do you do?”
CS Guy: “I dial the police and tell them that the house is on fire.”
Interviewer: “Good. Now, imagine that you are walking down the same road, and you see that the same house is not on fire. What do you do?”
CS Guy: *Ponders for a little while.* “I put the house on fire and reduce it to a problem I’ve solved before.”10 -
*Theoretical computer scientist is at an interview.*
Interviewer: “Imagine that you are walking down a road and see a house on fire. What do you do?”
CS Guy: “I dial the police and tell them that the house is on fire.”
Interviewer: “Good. Now, imagine that you are walking down the same road, and you see that the same house is not on fire. What do you do?”
CS Guy: *Ponders for a little while.* “I put the house on fire, thus reducing it to a problem I’ve solved before.”2 -
Honestly if the StackOverflow community was set on fire and I had a huge tank of water
People in Africa wouldn't die from thrist anymore.14 -
I strongly dislike the www part in domain names (the subdomain, really), that's not really news anymore.
Loads of sites use it which I find annoying as fuck for some reason but so be it. (I understand that its very logical to loads of people)
And then you get a client who calls in because the email server isn't accepting her username/password.
*looks into the logs*
"incorrect authentication data: info@www.herdomain.com"
Kill it with fucking fire.18 -
I've ranted so much, this is where they moved me to. They couldn't fire my because I was too valuable an asset to the project.
13 -
Co Worker: "Your computer is missing a mouse!"
Me: "I require less dependencies to use a computer"
BBUUUURRRRNN10 -
Being a programmer is easy!
It's like riding a bike
Except
The bike is on fire
you're on fire
everything is on fire
and you're in hell4 -
CSS is easy. It’s like riding a bike, which is on fire and the ground is on fire and everything is on fire because it is hell.7
-
Interviewer: Tell me your previous achievements.
Me: I had a level 213 fire mage.
Interviewer:
Me:13 -
"We don't need to invest in security - noone is going to hack us anyway" == "We don't need a fire department in our city - fire is not going to start here anyway"
We don't need to invest in security - everything is public anyway" == "We don't need a fire department in our city - our buildings are made out of straws anyway"
-- my thoughts after seing a line in client's spec: "sensitive data is transferred via a secure tcp channel (https) and all the public data is transferred via an unencrypted tcp (http) channel"3 -
Client: Why doesn't this process work?
Me: For the exact fucking reasons I said it wasn't fucking possible like three fucking times in two separate fucking meetings you fucking retard.11 -
I don't even have a desk at home, I just put my laptop anywhere I feel. And sometimes I just want to be by the fire ^^
5 -
Portugal is burning
500+ fires active
31 confirmed deads in 1 day...
A large one almost reached my house, saved by two man with construction machines. Still houses burned, gás bottles exploding like shotguns at a distance...
It's the end off the summer...
And now im at work, a new fire started close by...
27 -
Citizens are advised not to use Firewalls on their devices or Networks, as there can be a fire threat from enabling those.
An active cooperation is expected from everyone.
Stay safe and have a nice day :)4 -
> Get home for lunch, time to get some work done
> Fire up windows to program my keyboard
> WindowsUpdate, fine I can wait
> Reboot, grub rescue - no partition found
> Fire up a live CD, windows update nuked my linux partition (literally - now empty space instead of my previous ubuntu partition)
> Reinstall ubuntu
> Now stuck on «Loading operating system»
Oh well, I know what I'm doing tonight
> Pic related
17 -
Working on a project called ...fire... on linux, when suddenly realised, that
`$ touch fire` is a bad idea4 -
When you get so excited you burst out signing "🎶MY CODE IS ON FIRE🎶"(Alicia keys "this girl is on fire" reference) forgetting your in a room with your fellow developers.....
5 minutes later there still laughing3 -
I hope we'll see more of Gilfoyle in the next season of Silicon Valley because that guy is fucking fire1
-
"I thought this app was a game. It isn't. Also, it doesn't connect to Facebook."
Die in a fire you worthless fucking waste of oxygen.5 -
!Rant
I highly recommend everyone fire at least one client in your lifetime. It is a glorious feeling!4 -
up at 11:30pm finishing some work when fire alarm goes off.... waited to see if my tests passed before leaving3
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!rant
Friendly reminder, please check the fire alarms in your house.
Buy a fire extinguisher if you don't have one.14 -
ever got a task to modify legacy code and when you looked at it you were like... burning it with fire is the only way!
1 -
Number one thing I never expected, when moving networking equipment...
Some idiot wired a 230v socket in a mildly terrifying and dangerous way... Yes, that is 400v and all my equipment has now let out the magic white smoke...
Fuck some electricians!
24 -
CSS is easy. Its like riding a bike, which is on Fire and the ground is on fire and everything is on fire because It is hell.7
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Me: purchases Amazon Fire stick TV
Amazon: thank you for your purchase, we recommend buying a Fire stick TV Lite.
Me: so, you want me to buy the cheaper model of the item I just bought?
Amazon: hell yea, it'll go nicely with your current Fire Stick TV and offer even less functionality,5 -
I've never had a problem with helping junior devs but when their keyboard and mouse looks like they bought it used from a primary school - glossy and covered in food etc... All I can think is burn it..... Burn it with fire.
Seriously... Keep your peripherals clean... They get nasty pretty quickly.
1 -
When you are coding, put your coffeepot on fire, and forgot about it for two hours.
My life suck tonight.
11 -
In case of fire,
* Run away and stay out
* Use the fire extinguisher
* Build your project in Xcode
:))
3 -
Giving functions exciting names so you can feel like a Bond villain while programming:
execute(); destroy(); fire(); isDead();6 -
There was fire in the below ground generator, smoke pulled out, in home, alive. Electricity not coming, hope it gets fixed soon.
Thank god i am alive.
And i managed to save my final year project files.
Yay!8 -
When you are listening to music while coding and the music is on fire so you hit the same button on the keyboard several times to go with the beat 😂1
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Real-time physics calculation of +250000 blocks on AMD Athlon.
No worries boys, I had fire extinguisher.4 -
Me: I don't know why people hate CSS so much. It works fine for me 😑
Inner me: Liar, Liar, Pants on fire 🔥 😂7 -
It's near enough 1 AM right now.
So will someone please explain to me why my thick shit of a housemate is cooking burgers WITHOUT OIL and setting the FUCKING FIRE ALARMS OFF, WHEN HE KNOWS I CAN NEVER SLEEP AND HAVE TO BE UP AT 4.30.
If they go off again, I'm pressing his face against the frying pan13 -
Before production deployment: Everything is running well, all bugs are fixed, serenity sets in.
Production deployment day: Fire everywhere
goddamit we don't get a fucking break2 -
What to do with a web development intern who doesn't understand the concept of git even after 3 weeks of joining?
PS: Can't fire her20 -
Worst coding interruption?
The fire alarm going off.
That's when you learn how quickly it's possible to git commit and push7 -
Started development on a Firefox addon again:
Adding an onclick HTML tag/property (however you call that) - doesn't fire at all.
Adding an event listener - says no elements with the class I'm using (checked, it's correct) exist, doesn't fire.
Well, fucking great 😐4 -
Related:
https://devrant.com/rants/4910402
Fought fire with fire.
I used regexes with quoting necessary regex bits inside to replace the regexes that tortured me.
Regexception.
I think I need a lot of pain meds.
Or why do I feel pain and numb at the same time?6 -
Just had a fire at work.
git add, git commit, git push.
No one was hurt. But, the fire was in a server room and the git server is down. At least the halon deployed successfully.
The off site backup should be up in 20 mins. I wonder how often they pull the repo.3 -
So, driving, my car on fire, under the dashboard of the passenger side a lot of smoke. No panic, I'm 1337 h4x0r so I did what a decade of experience thought me: I've putted it off and on again. Guess what; fire gone.
Note: Hope car doesn't die on me, I just invested 2k into it23 -
Apparently the fire hose in our building wasn't connected to the water main, because the legislation stated the building owner had to install a fire hose, not connect a fire hose to the water main.1
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Audacity repository being on fire for the new privacy policy is something I just can't stop watching ... I love it.12
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My goal is simple:
Make a shit ton of money, buy companies, fire all the devs ruining our profession.5 -
*reverts a layout file to the one in git*
*gradle fails, no components found, electricity goes off, office catches fire, the world ends*4 -
mr robot, halt and catch fire, silicon valley, tvf pitchers.....
any suggestions for movies like pirates of silicon valley?4 -
Gotta admit. Amazon fire tablets are awesome for cheap tinkering and installing custom firmware in it. Using 7 of them to use at my super efficient smart home (😎) and they don't break at all...
I wish they allow direct international shipping tho...2 -
Being thrown in the deep end, baptism by fire is the best/worst way to learn a new codebase
Its not appropriate for everyone but it weirdly works -
We have a fire fighting situation and we keep getting pulled into meetings to be told we have a fire fighting situation. FML.5
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Dev trend I think will pass?
Creating new frameworks on this dumpster fire of a language we call JavaScript.11 -
Lotus Notes is absolutely the worst platform known to man. Every time a ticket comes in I want to set the Domino servers on fire.11
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First time trying uncomplicated firewall (ufw) on Linux
Why did no one ever tell me configuring a fire wall was this easy1 -
- halt and catch fire
- silicon valley
- mr robot
are there others, at least half as good as hcf?20 -
“We're going to code in one IDE, one IDE only”
Motivation so low my boss wanna fire me
* cue N****s in Paris *10 -
So I decided to help my Mom's Mom setup an Amazon Fire TV. Now I've been here for about 3 - 4 hours and I'm setting up 2 Fire Tv's, A Router, Writting down passwords, setting up an Amazon account with Prime and fixing her computer.. 😤😢3
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// Delivery manager rant part #2
When one of your many stakeholders asks "why isn't feature X built yet?"
Response: have you seen the state of production lately???? Do you really think your item is top of our priority list right now?
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Just started onboarding the new hire and it made me realise how much of a dumpster fire some of our code is
-
Apple iPhone batteries catch on fire yesterday and today at two different Apple Stores
*Scrolling news on OP5T and laughing *7 -
Who else is loving the twitter dumpster fire? He threatens to fire the devs if they don't roll out the verified account to anyone willing to pay.
The shipped that bomb just like you demanded assface.
15 -
Finally after an year I found an inspiration. Time to bring back the fire. Time to start the work.
Will keep on updating about the progress.1 -
Dear hex.pm website, please fire the developer who programmed this email and employ me. I grantee you I am better than this asshole.
-
So we are preparing to deploy the changes onto production and some fucker decides to play with the fire alarm.
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Don't freaking urgent request me! Your ass better be literally on fire, otherwise you are wasting my time!2
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Watching IT crowd AGAIN after seeing a joke my brother didn't understand. Lol. (A fire? At a sea parks?)
-
The Halt and Catch Fire writers and tech experts must have lived those days. Totally nailed it to the finest detail. I am impressed. Show me a 10mg (how will I ever fill it up) Bernoulli platter 😀
Great series but warning it is not a comedy like Silicon. Very different but amazing how some things are same as today in concept.7 -
Why the hell does enterprise software get away with not having basic, logical, functionality?!
A hierarchical page structure should allow you to name multiple pages the same as long as they're under different parents.
Every FREE documentation platform understands this, yet atlassian fucking confluence can't figure it out.2 -
Question time! What was your first programming job or internship experience like? What I mean is, were you eased in or was it baptism by fire?
Mine is currently baptism by fire, coffee, and no sleep6 -
I'm coding like it's Mad Max and stackoverflow is the junkyard, I just hope it doesn't catch on fire. 🤡4
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Any IDE that doesn't go to the end of line when you press the down arrow key on the last line of the file, should be burned with hell fire.2
-
Poking at Linux is like playing with fire. You think you've got the hang of it, then a load of smoke happens.1
-
To the people who keep overwriting our meeting room bookings in Outlook, fuck you and I hope you all die in a fire.1
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Fucking drills.
I spent 1 hour to get in my zone and they have to do an unorganised unhelpful fire drill. Fucking timewaste. Why? 😫3 -
Found this song today by meme posted by @sam9669. This song's fire though + comments are true bliss. :D
1 -
best boss!!
Something positive for a change and hopefully the notion that you can fire your horrible boss! (i.e. get another job because you are awesome!) -
sAleSfoRce aPEx is a hot wet garbage fire. How can I make this actually make this work right when I need to compare case sensitive strings?
10 -
The business is prioritizing error reporting for issues we are aware of over actually fixing the bugs. Isn't that kind of like installing smoke detectors in a house that's already on fire instead of calling the fire department?1
-
Coworker#1: Our client's website is broken, there are 504 errors everywhere, and their customers aren't able to register accounts.
Coworker#2: Our machine that hosts everything won't start up.
How is your Friday going?5 -
Halt and Catch Fire. Watch this serie. Just do. Specially if you are 30 or older, and/or entrepreneur. https://ororo.tv/en/shows/... . 2 episodes per day in this link.
2 -
Halt and Catch Fire is having another great season. Lived those days and it is so true. CompuServe, Compaq, Commodore, 5 1/4", Tandy 1000, Byte Mag, Atari, The Well... The tech you see is really 1985ish. Attention to detail is appreciated by long time technologists.
H&CF is about building a tech business and much applies to today's startups. That two brilliant tech women are leading the charge adds to it. All the characters are great Cameron, Gordon, Donna, the devs at Mutiny and Joe channeling Jobs (in my opinion) is spot on.
Any H&CF fans have an opinion?4 -
My computer just take fire. Hmm i think he dislike the new installation of windows :/
Well, be happy to have some other stuff for work !1 -
- Fire up Windows VM
- Wait through the nightmare of installing all the updates
- Fire up Edge
- Go to slack.com
- "your browser is not supported. Download a supported browser or use the Slack app"
yupp.. Windows browser is still the best for downloading Chrome6 -
Sorry guys for the lack of content on the stream last week. I'll be back with more fire than ever I promise.2
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[Question]
If there is an fire, smoke starts to fill the room quickly, and you are working on your code, will you "git commit / git push"?3 -
Never got scheduled for night deployment shift. Once i did, everything suddenly catches fire.
Well, twice. In a row.1 -
In the country, Sunday morning, gale blowing, internet off/on, coffee, warm fire: Coding day or not?
-
Start a business, it'll be fun they said. One of those days you'll realise that you're in a situation where you'll have to fire a friend from your engineering team, there's no way around it..
People keep on thinking and saying
"You're so lucky, you can choose the clients and the team, and work whenever you want to.."
Yep. Highest highs and lowest lows go hand in hand. Thank god there's both.2 -
A couple of months ago I watched all 3 seasons of 'Halt and Catch Fire'. I thought it was excellent. If im honest I enjoyed it more than mr robot (and I loved that). Still not seen Silicon Valley though (it's gonna cost too much).7
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Finally! The most incompetent C-level has decided to leave the company. He did fire most of the old dev team & a lot of other people and employed people he already knew.
I think he did fire around 20-25 people and hired new people or people he know. Our company cosists of 40 employees :D1 -
Imagine a "development" environment with no vcs, no APIs, no general hierarchy for db admin or software development, no test environment. Well this was my first job.
Quite literally a dumpster fire.
I know I'm not a world class developer but I still think this was beyond unacceptable for a software startup.2 -
Silicon Valley started again yesterday !!!! Yaay...who else here watches this show and well Halt and Catch Fire ?5
-
Nothing says "Productively Killer" quite like a company-wide "alert" through the building fire and emergency intercom, announcing the latest winners in an anonymous company contest.2
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When all your work is due, and you're busy as all get out.... And there's /literally/ a fire drill 😡2
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I was supposed to relieve work last Friday and then as per request of HR on last moment, i had to postpone it to tomorrow.
Guess what, today evening boss comes and asks if really want to relieve tomorrow and then tells to change it to 31st. I tried to say no.
Then HR talked to me and his excuse was he got the dates messed up. He thought tomorrow was Friday. Fucking lie. I remember him saying it was a Wednesday when he told.
I'm seriously annoyed and tired of sitting there and being absolutely doing nothing productive other than fixing bugs assigned to team mates. I don't want to write any new code or participate in coding decision on the project, because i think that's just asking for more trouble. Team mates gotta learn to work on their own instead of relying me for every stupid little thing. I can't concentrate to work on my thing there, i just want to get out of that environment asap.
3 more boring days to pass, assuming i dont have to come on sat and sun.
😑1 -
IOS keyboard is utter garbage. IOS as a whole is utter garbage, but the keyboard is the cream of the crop of garbage.
Wasting a user's time and destroying/changing the user's input against their wishes is malicious design of the highest order and this dumpster fire excels in it.
Type something completely valid and autocomplete changes it to something that doesn't makes sense. It not only gives you a terrible suggestion half the time, it will also change previous parts of the sentence that it somehow allowed you to keep. If you reject its suggestion, it deletes your current word and previous word(s), instead of restoring it to what it was before it made the terrible suggestion, like every other keyboard does.
Need to go back and adjust your sentence? If you tap it will hijack the cursor and highlight the nearest word it doesn't like instead of moving the cursor where you touch. If you accidentally hit a character on the cramped and unusable keyboard, congrats, you get to type the word again.
I know about hold space to drag the cursor.
I don't want Apple to decide for me that I actually wanted to go to the closest word it doesn't like, or the current word, or the next word based on a dice roll. I want the cursor to go where I tap. Like literally every other input device functions.
Want readily accessible numbers and punctuation? lol no
I know there's gboard, but compared to Android it's also almost unusable. This leads me to believe the keyboard is little more than a skin over the IOS keyboard engine, like Safari, another IOS dumpster fire. But, it is slightly better than the stock keyboard, which isn't saying much.
I yearn, minute by minute, for the time I can ditch this dumpster fire for a real phone.11 -
EVACUATE NOW! Early this morning I was woken by the fire alarm at my apartment. I jumped out of bed and immediately reached for my laptop. After carefully sliding it into its bag (top side up of course), I grasped it tightly, took a deep breath and ran to safety.2
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Named my current project "dumpster fire" so I can say "This dumpster fire doesn't even get through compiler anymore!" will work on that level too.2
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Fire at work place.
Normal People: Immediately run from the gate.
Programmer: Git add, Git commit, Git Push, realize fire on the gate, jump from the window.1 -
After 2 days of reverse engineering another developers code, I wish Laravel would go and die in a fire.3
-
IMHO, the Amazon Fire Stick represents a "race to the bottom" for media devices in terms of interface design, functionality and app support.
They join the Apple TV waiting there since the second generation device.
Everything you could ever want to stream is either a few hundred clicks away or on a different device. -
I'm halfway through season 3 of Halt and Catch Fire and I believe Cameron is my most hated movie character ever. That fcking manipulative useless piece of shit. Just fuck urself. Fcking garbage disposal wouldn't be able to dispose of ur bitch ass. I'm not sure if I can finish the season but it feels like she can't get any worse, wouldn't be surprised tho.
-
It is always good to get rid of bad blood.
Hire slowly, fire quickly, do both decisively.
Don’t get emotional. Your emotions will betray you.
✌🏼5 -
!rant
I need opinions: Amazon Fire Stick or Google Chromecast?
I want Hulu, Netflix, Crunchy Roll, Amazon Prime TV, and WWE Network.
I welcome all opinions. Remote strength, price, ease of use, and stability are my main concerns.
I also might jail break it and/or try to develop apps for it.
Sorry if a repost but this is a random thought from an alcohol addled mind.
I would use a laptop on every tv, but cost vs benefit says no.3 -
How the fu k do I remove this shit?! I can't find the fucking package name. Big hint: IT'S NOT FIRE!!!
7 -
seems like halt and catch fire will never be able to gather audience because it is too techy like mr robot. In my opinion they should release it as online series1
-
Nexus 5 almost caught fire because I vomited on it in my sleep whilst it was on charge.. my work colleagues found this Hilarious1
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Once I had a meeting with a employee. He asked for some bonus money and I wanted to fire him. Was weird.1
-
Space X had a "Static fire anamoly" today. Apparently at work everyone is having a "Static intelligence anamoly".
-
Take the fuck wads...
Dip them in honey.
Let the fire ants soften their flesh.
Spike them up, roast them over fire.
Let that be a warning to the others.
Yeah. Its not going well at work.4 -
Some more song ideas: the root, the root, the root is on fire... and „don‘t fear the root shell“....2
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Partially-inherited a WordPress website today that 1) has a ton of outdated plugins (therefore causing Visual Composer to complain), 2 was upgraded to WordPress 5 without keeping the old TinyMCE editor around, and 3) uses a page builder that's built into the "page options" portion of the Edit view.
We also have to add a couple of pages with the project in this state.
(For those not familiar with WordPress, "Page Options" can't be previewed before the page is published/updated, even though anything inside of the actual content area can.)
We got some work to do. 😐4 -
Why did halt and catch fire got discuntinued? I really loved that show. And I think it's one of the best cs themed show.
-
Does anyone know whats the concept for creating an ios app that fire notification everyday at 5am with different message set for each day. #xcode #swift16
-
When you have to make frontend changes to keep boss happy, so they prioritise time to put out the fire in the backend.
-
I feel the stress in my head and a fire within cause my PRs are rejecteeed ♫
I have an error to solve and frustration to spaaaaare!
What a beautiful wind blowing through~
I wish that it blew my shaaame
And incompetencyyyy
Just fire me alreaaaadyyyyy ♫
- a song by Bugged the series on Disney Channel -
I have a headache and I have to write a fix in production in less than 2 hours. What can I do? does chocolate help? I will get chocolate3
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y'ALL I AM LEARNING ADB/FASTBOOT
WHY DIDN'T I TRY THIS SOONER
now i just need a rom that's compatible with the kindle fire 1st gen, firefirefire, and twrp 2.2.2.1 -
"Everything is on fire" isn't just an expression uses by developers, its a feature used on every project!1
-
Fire Tornadoes?!
https://usatoday.com/story/news/...
What the crap, is the Fire Nation Fire Lord destroying CA?4 -
I want to fire crucio on my office people.No specific reason,but I have seen them enough for this week.Thankfully , weekends are finally here.
2 -
The video shorts done by the devRant team surpasses the crap that shows like "Silicon Valley" or "Halt and Catch Fire" put out.
-
Some people think building a clone of tinder takes a weekend. Good luck with that dumpster fire of an app5
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Imagine you're on fire continuously running past a pit of scorpions. Being pressured kind of feels like this anyway.6
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