"I was wondering why Monitors sleep and Keyboards don't.

Then it occurred to me that Keyboards have two SHIFTS. 😆😆" -some guy

Our CTO has been told, this morning by management, that our development department is "too quiet" and that it's spoiling "the atmosphere" of the office space.

So we've ordered mechanical keyboards.

Anyone else used Stack Overflow for many years without ever asking or answering a single question?

This my fellow friends is what every christmas_tree should look like

Watching normal people use a computer is incredibly painful.
* slow typing
* slow mouse movements
* mouse is used for everything
* instead of hitting the back button, they'll load up a website and go through 6 pages again.
* no shortcuts!

Someone lost their tabs today (Windows crashed), so I said "press ctrl + shift + T". They were so amazed that keys could do something so advanced.
Dhcosncowhtoehwurt hrnxkxxhry he.

Honestly, if people learned how to use keyboards to their full potential, they could shave off 1-2 hours of their normal work PER DAY!

Why don't keyboards sleep? Because they have two shifts HUEHUEHUE

I found it!

>>Be me
>>Looks at laptop once
>>Gets 4 emails about the same fucking one

>>Be me
>>Looks at shoes once
>>Gets 3 emails and one notification from the app about a sale on shoes

>>Be me
>>Buy a mechanical keyboard
>>Gets 4 emails and 3 notifications from the app about a sale on keyboards.

Ok Amazon calm the fuck down bud.

This is why I currently have 14 calculators open...

Just a regular software engineer...

Seen in Amsterdam, getting on a ferry.

Ever wondered why C++ programmers need to replace their keyboards so often?

Because they are using a strongly typed language

If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.

The rest of them will write Perl programs.

Will I be the only one who misses this key on the keyboards of some modern laptops?

This post is in memory of all the devRanters fallen in battle against management stress and impossible deadlines.

Let their memories remain, and their loss never be forgotten.

Two of my colleagues have same wireless kit type (kb and mouse). I swapped only their keyboards.

I like my inputs. Buttons are fun! Guess that's why I ended up here.

When you accidentally buy 20 keyboards instead of 1...

My sister in law got me this guy for Christmas after I told her about devrant!

She found it in a rubber duck shop in Amsterdam.

Best sister in law!

I feel so sorry for all the people in the world who use their phone more than their PC/laptop.

All the pitiful souls who think they're gamers because they installed lootchest simulator on their little digital skinner box. All the sad beings who just view the internet as a collection of ad-infested apps.

Actually, I don't feel sorry, because these people make the world a worse place.

Suddenly we needed websites which could render on tiny screens and need bloated cross-platform app development frameworks. Many game studios became parasites exploiting addictive behavior in humans, instead of creating works of art.

Humans spent 10,000 years to perfect their caves with expensive kitchens, and all people want is for their WiFi to reach the grill at the end of the garden. Humans created central heating, comfortable couches, wall-mounted TVs and luxurious desks -- and all people can think of is whether their phone plan covers holiday roaming at their shitty resorts.

The rare times I do actually go into this apocalyptic wasteland people call "The Outside", all I see is subway cars full of hunched addicted drudges, bus stops with clusters of enslaved automatons.

Fuck all of them.

Fuck all of you imbeciles, who ventured out of the cave and now DARE to call me anti-social, just for preferring the warmth of my comfortable protective den.

It's fucking cozy here, within the walls of my shelter, I got booze and a fridge full of food and a bunch of LSD, I can masturbate under the shower, have sex on the couch, have all kinds of GIANT displays for entertainment, with full-sized qwerty-keyboards, high-DPI mouses, even some console controllers and big TVs if I feel lazy.

You can stick your responsive websites and social-network-integrated Android apps up your rectum, just sit your fucking fat ass down in front of a workstation and desperately refresh the stream of fake attention-seeking messages there, if you absolutely must.

Seriously, why does this guy from our marketing department call me on my private phone number. Why did HR PROVIDE him with my private phone number?

And WHY THE FUCK is he asking me, a DB admin: "Our website doesn't load properly on Safari on my iPhone 7, could you take a look at it"?

No, of course I won't fucking come to the office to take a look at your miserable shitty device with its cracked glass screen.

Fuck you and your outdoorsy habits.

Stay the fuck in your cave, you degenerate attention whore, otherwise please go choke on your airpods.

My main working laptop has delete button at the top right corner of keyboard just like the normal rest of keyboards on this planet. But some people think it is boring to be doing thing in consistent manner. And so they made this.

Result is 4 times involuntarily went into sleep mode. Gazillion times I swear I can tear the dick out of that genius who came up with this idea and swirl his brain around using said dick. If it was a girl, I'm gonna shove a durain up her vajayjay.

Oh BTW, both laptops brand is ASUS.

1. There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.

2. How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. It's a hardware problem.

3. A SEO couple had twins. For the first time they were happy with duplicate content.

4. Why is it that programmers always confuse Halloween with Christmas?
Because 31 OCT = 25 DEC

5. Why do they call it hyper text?
Too much JAVA.

6. Why was the JavaScript developer sad?
Because he didn't Node how to Express himself

7. In order to understand recursion you must first understand recursion.

8. Why do Java developers wear glasses? Because they can't C#

9. What do you call 8 hobbits?
A hobbyte

10. Why did the developer go broke?
Because he used up all his cache

11. Why did the geek add body { padding-top: 1000px; } to his Facebook profile?
He wanted to keep a low profile.

12. An SEO expert walks into a bar, bars, pub, tavern, public house, Irish pub, drinks, beer, alcohol

13. I would tell you a UDP joke, but you might not get it.

14. 8 bytes walk into a bar, the bartenders asks "What will it be?"
One of them says, "Make us a double."

15. Two bytes meet. The first byte asks, "Are you ill?"
The second byte replies, "No, just feeling a bit off."

16. These two strings walk into a bar and sit down. The bartender says, "So what'll it be?"
The first string says, "I think I'll have a beer quag fulk boorg jdk^CjfdLk jk3s d#f67howe%^U r89nvy~~owmc63^Dz x.xvcu"
"Please excuse my friend," the second string says, "He isn't null-terminated."

17. "Knock, knock. Who's there?"
very long pause...
"Java."

18. If you put a million monkeys on a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program. The rest of them will write Perl programs.

19. There's a band called 1023MB. They haven't had any gigs yet.

20. There are only two hard things in computer science: cache invalidation, naming things, and off-by-one errors.

Am I the only one who prefers laptop with numpad?
I feel like keyboards without a numpad are incomplete.

!dev

I can't believe the stupidity/paranoia at my workplace! I take my own keyboard with me to work, because I really hate typing on rubberdomes (personal preference).

I built myself a keyboard and programmed it with so I can access characters for programming easier and it made my typing a lot better.
"But oh no! It connects via USB!", thought some random manager today, as they walked past my desk. "This cannot be allowed, there has to be a company policy against it!"
Sadly, I was on the toilet when this happened and I only heard this from my colleagues. I anticipated someone saying this, but it's just typical for my bad luck that it would happen in my absence. Yes, security is necessary and important, but my company just goes completely crazy in some points. There is a huge paranoia concerning everything USB. You can only use USB-Sticks that were bought by the company and almost nobody has one. I can understand it, but sometimes it is just annoying...

The problem is, that people can't differentiate between USB-Sticks and keyboards. Everything that connects via USB is evil.
But as is said, I was prepared. I talked to the company security about what would be necessary for me to use my own private keyboard at my workplace. They told me, that this would not be an issue, but if I want to ever take the keyboard home again, I would have to fill out a form every six weeks, because otherwise I wouldn't be able to proof, that the keyboard wasn't company property (just look at the picture, as if they would ever buy such a keyboard, especially with the obviously badly handmade wooden case). I agreed, and did exactly that from that point onwards.
Now THAT manager talked to MY manager (who is absolutely fine with me using my keyboard, although he thinks it is strange). Now I had to request at the department for information security (because company security obviously isn't enough), whether me using my own keyboard is okay.

My manager asked me to make the request a little broader, to ensure any future use of USB-non-storage devices is okay. Did that and am now awaiting an answer, that I will hopefully receive on monday...

To all Juniors here(myself included):

If you ever feel discouraged just remember that a few thousand irrelavant mongolian horse nomads managed to conquer half of the known world in less than a hundred years, destroying countless empires and cultures far more sophisticated than their own using nothing but their wits and their brutal willpower.

If they could build a realm from Korea to Poland usibg horses, you can build some software using keyboards.

Paypal Rant #3

One day I'll go to Paypal HQ and...
... change all the toilet rolls to face the wrong way
... remap all the semicolons to be the Greek equivalent character
... change all the door signs so they say "pull" instead of "push" and vice versa
... modify all the stairs to have variable heights
... programmatically shuffle the elevator buttons and randomly assign the alarm key to any of the most visited floors
... pour cocoa onto all the keyboards and wipe them off cleanly
... attach clear duct tape over their mouse sensors and insert really weak batteries or mess with their cables

I'll wait a day or two until they experience a sudden shortage of developers, then bombard them with thousands of fake applications from seemingly amazing candidates, then write an AI bot to continue argumentation with HR.

I'll wait another week or so until the company dissolves and with them, all my issues in life.

No need to be overly vulgar this time because you all know the deal. I hate this fucking company. Please Paypal do us all a favor and go fuck yourself.

Pics of your keyboard buddies

Whoever thinks that coding is easy.

Fuck you motherfucker stupid chicken head nugget sized brain faggots. You think all we do is smash keyboards in front of our screen and it poops code and creates beautiful applications? Fuck you in particular.

One of my friend says sitting on computer for whole day is the easiest thing. What the fuck motherfucker.
One fucking string can fuck your life forever. Innumerable hours will be wasted behind one simple fucked up logic. And u shithead say its easy.
Get into my shoes and let me bang your head on the keyboard and we will see how beautifully it poops code.

Stupid people.

aslkfjasf. i've spent 12 hours today (and lots more over the past two days) trying to reproduce a bug that my [sort of] coworker insists is present. I haven't seen any proof of it anywhere, let alone steps to reproduce it.

I've poured through the code, following all of its tangled noodles of madness from start to fuck-this-shit. I've read and reread the pile of demon excrement so many times i can still read the code when i close my eyes. so. not. kidding.

anyway, the coworker person is getting mad because i haven't fixed the bug after days, and haven't even reproduced it yet. This feature is already taking way too fucking long so I totally don't blame him. but urghh it's like trying to unwind a string someone tied into a tight little ball of knots because they were bored.

but i just figured out why I haven't been able to reproduce it.

the stupid fucking unreliable dipshit ex-"i'm a rockstar and my code rocks"-CTO buffoon (aka API Guy, aka the `a=b if a!=b`loody pointless waste of mixed spaces and tabs) that wrote the original APIs ... 'kay, i need to stop for breath.

The dumbfuck wrote the APIs (which I based the new ones on mostly wholesale because wtf messy?), but he never implemented a very fucking important feature for a specific merchant type. It works for literally every type except the (soon-to-be) most common one. and it just so happens that i need that very specific feature to reproduce this bug.

Why is that one specific merchant type handled so differently? No fucking idea.

But exactly how they're handled differently is why I'm so fking pissed off. It's his error checking. (Some) of his functions return different object types (hash, database object, string, nullable bool, ...) depending on what happened. like, when creating a new gift, it (eventually...) either returns a new Gift object or a string error basically saying "ahhh everything's broken again!" -- which is never displayed, compared against, or recorded anywhere, ofc. Here, the API expects a Hash. That particular function call *always* returns a Hash, no matter what happens in the myriad, twisting, and interwoven branches the code could take. So the check is completely pointless.

EXCEPT. if an object associated with another object associated with the passed object (yep) has a type of 8. in which case, one of the methods in the chain returns a PrintQueue that gets passed back up the call stack. implicitly, and nested three levels in. ofc.

And if the API doesn't get its precious Hash, it exclaims that the merchant itself is broken, and tells the user to contact support. despite, you know, the PrintQueue showing that everything worked perfectly. In fact, that merchant's printer will be happily printing away in the background.

All because type checking is this guy's preferred method of detecting errors. (Raise? what's that? OOP? Nah, let's do diverging splintered-monolithic with some Ruby objects thrown in.)

just.
what the crap.

people should keep their mental diarrhea away from their keyboards.

Anyway. the summary of this long-winded, exhaustion-fueled tirade is that our second-most-loved feature doesn't work on our second-most-common merchant type.

and ofc that was the type of merchant i've been testing on. for days. while having both a [semi] coworker and my boss growing increasingly angry at me for my lack of progress.

It's also a huge feature, and the boss doesn't understand that. (can't or won't, idk)

So.
yep.
that's been my week.

...... WHAT A FUCKING BUFFOON!

My landlord has a workspace below my room, and he had to install wifi for his workspace yesterday. except he couldn't, so he asked me. which I guess is fine, he made very polite request so I figured: might as well.

so I go down, and it's one of these typical isp boxes. I connect my laptop and start messing around with ifconfig and ip route listing. I wouldn't normally even use ip route, but I've been doing a project involving multiple networks. Anyway, I switch networks a few times (my own network is obviously up and running) so I can google for router passwords. by the time I'm finished with everything my landlord thanks me, and goes on about "how he is always impressed by how people can just type into keyboards and things start working"

in reality, all I did was connect his cable to DSL when he had connected it to PSTDN himself.

You cannot find \ in Japanese MacBook keyboard. You have to press alt + ¥ 💢

But if are in the hiragana keyboard mode alt + ¥ key is / 💢💢

Mechanical keyboards' heavenly sounds.

This is from my days of running a rather large (for its time) Minecraft server. A few of our best admins were given access to the server console. For extra security, we also had a second login stage in-game using a command (in case their accounts were compromised). We even had a fairly strict password strength policy.
But all of that was defeated by a slightly too stiff SHIFT key. See, in-game commands were typed in chat, prefixed with a slash -- SHIFT+7 on German-ish keyboards. And so, when logging in, one of our head admins didn't realize his SHIFT key didn't register and proudly broadcast to the server "[Admin] username: 7login hisPasswordHere".
This was immediately noticed by the owner of a 'rival' server who was trying to copy some cool thing that we had. He jumped onto the console that he found in an nmap scan a week prior (a scan that I detected and he denied), promoted himself to admin and proceeded to wreak havoc.
I got a call, 10-ish minutes later, that "everything was literally on fire". I immediately rolled everything back (half-hourly backups ftw) and killed the console just in case.
The best part was the Skype call with that admin that followed. I wasn't too angry, but I did want him to suffer a little, so I didn't immediately tell him that we had good backups. He thought he'd brought the downfall of our server. I'm pretty sure he cried.

Mechanical Keyboards.
I mean, just look at this beauty.

Moved to a new place about two months ago.

The internet connection is provided and baked into my rent. Didn't mention anything about speed.

First thing I did was to check with my phone over 2.4 GHz hit about 100/100 and thought.

Sweet! I have the nice 100/100 Mbits speed!

Yesterday I had some issues with my 2.4 GHz band on my phone. (I have a lot of wireless devices, mice, keyboards, headphones, so it makes sense) Couldn't even do a speed check. Was like. What the fuck. Switched to 5Ghz band because it's not as busy with other devices.

Do a speed check.

500/500.

I realize. Wait. I am checking from my phone.

What does my cable connected computer really get?

900/700

Holy shit. I've been connected to gigabit internet for almost two months without knowing.

What the shit. What God have blessed me with such sick speeds?

How my keyboard evolves:

0. Like any normal man, I started with a cheap standard Qwerty keyboard. As I began learning programming, I wanted something more elegant, so...

1. I've been using layout Dvorak (and then Programmer Dvorak) for like 5 years+ now. Anyone has intention to type on my machine soon gives up or even is blocked by me from the very start. It always takes a couple of minutes to explain to them what's going on here. They think I'm weird. I feel untouchable :)

2. My first mechkey was a 104-key Filco. Time flew by and I wanted my thing to be more compact so I went for a 66% and a TKL.

3. Recently I find out that though my keyboard is not a full-sized, there're yet some keys I've never touched (the bottom right modifiers, scroll lock, etc), so I look for a leaner one: HHKB and its alike but with slight remappings. Now I'm satisfied with the tiny, corners-trimmed keyboard but others look at it and ask how it is even possible to scroll the web page using the thing.

Prob 1: my boss can never type on my keyboard. Sometimes he still grumbles when he cannot correct my fouls right on my machine.

Prob 2: my keyboards at home and at work are not the same and some keymapping cannot applied to one of the two. That's async.

My humble setup.
Sitting/Standing desk duet.

A common scenario strikes again today:

- Blocked on a problem at the end of the day
- Tell my wife I'm headed home
- Inspiration strikes
- time flies by coding in the zone
- realize I'm super late
- run out the door like a crazy person

tldr:
everyone got the same hardware because senior dev liked it

So my project team was allowed to buy some hardware (monitors/keyboards/mouses etc.) so teamleader asked what we want.
senior dev: i need 1 monitor because i like to work with 1 monitor. i prefer this 27' zoll 4k monitor for around 1k dollars. since i work with multiple pc's i like this bluetooth keyboard and mouse because u can pair them with them and switch witch a click between the pc's costs around 300 dollar (1 setup of this costs 1'300 dollars)

me: so i like to use 2 monitors because i tried out multiple setups and this works for me the best (also what i have at home). but they dont need to be fancy. 2x 24' zoll montitors for each 200 dollar are enaugh (together 400 doller)
i also only work with 1 laptop and would like to have just a simple keyboard and mouse with cable because everytime they dont respons or battry runs out im fk triggered. so for me its okey if its this 30 dollar keyboard and 20 dollar mouse. it would be cool if i could get this mechanical keyboard for 80 dollars but not really needed. i only prefer mechanical keyboards a little bit more. and also i would like this mousepad i really like. it makes the mouse super responsive it's also just 10 dollars (this setup cost 510)

so at the end the teamleader was like. ah u know what senior dev has more xp and knows whats better for coding so we only buy this for every dev. but that 10 dollar mouse pad is okey u can get this extra its not that expensive.

WTF why u dont give me the cheaper setup which i more like. and why u even ask.

So 10 months ago i moved from Cambridge (UK) to Guildford (UK), due to moving this distance i started working from home and going into the office once a week.

Now after 10 months i have finally got my home office how i first imagined it. Everything runs from my laptop which is located on the shelving unit away from my desk. Everything plugs into it via 1 USB lead.

Setup:
27" 2560 x 1440 monitor flanked by two 1280 x 1024 monitors.
Asus Laptop (i5-6300HQ, 12GB ram, 512GB SSD + 1TB HDD)
Home PC (i5-7600, 8GB ram, GTX 770)

Accessories:
StarTech USB hub - This allows me to plug my three monitors, keyboards, mouse and everything else into my laptop.
KVM switch - Allows me to swap between my Work PC and Home PC with a click of a button

Asked a coworker for their opinion on mechanical keyboards, they suggested I get a quiet one if I was going to bring it to work.

Gf: "Why are you such a typist"

Me: "I promise not to buy more keyboards with blue switches..."

Gf: "No, I mean like being racist or sexist, but you discriminate types"

Me: "Uhhh"

Gf: "You are always bitching about how awful date/time types are, with timezones, leap seconds and daylight savings"

Me: Face turns pale, thousand yard stare, vietnam-flashback to when I was writing a calendar scheduling/meeting/matching tool which used 3 databases, with timestamps in different formats, and web frontends for people in offices around the world.

Me, with a soft broken voice: "So?"

Gf: "You've been working on that palette tool this week, and you keep talking about how interesting all these colorspaces, white balances and conversion formulas are"

Me: 🤔

Epic team fail. I bought a mechanical keyboard, plugged it in typed one word and the team wanted to kill me.

I don't know much about keyboards, but turns out it had blue, very loud, very clicks switches.

Keyboard was unplugged, wrapped up and put back in the box ready to be returned.

- Learn to touch type Dvorak
- Set all Qwerty keyboards to Dvorak
- Watch as no one can use your computer.

Night before flying internationally includes the following checklist:

- check VPN works, can access frontend sites and hit the backend
- git push

Why don't keyboards sleep?

Because they have 2 shifts.

This morning I kept falling back asleep after the alarm went off, drifting in and out of a dream about programming.

My wife finally said "no more sleeping".

Still mostly sleep, I replied very confidently "you can't sleep in a sandbox!".

I was dreaming I was in a code sandbox. Obviously sleeping is not allowed.

Jeez, my head has been really full of programming since this conference. (One of the talks was on codesandbox).

If you put a million monkeys on a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.

Our "monitoring" today.

When you are so angry about something you slam your fist on the keyboard, break the Enter and surrounding keys, rush to the closest shop that sells keyboards, fail to buy one because they're all too shit, come home and end up fixing your keyboard, then get even more pissed off because you had already gotten excited about that new keyboard, and end up writing shitty comments for shit you haven't even finished yet because you're too pissed off BECAHSE EVERY FUCKING THING IN THIS WORLD IS FUCKING BROKEN AND SHIT. AND NOW I HAVE A MIGRAINE AND MY LEG IS ITCHY FOR SOME STUPID FUCKING REASON!

PM: What are you going to do today?

Expected-
Me: execute some junits.

Actual-
Me: execute some joints.

Sad auto corrects, flow keyboards.

If you put a million monkeys on a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program. The rest of them will write Perl programs.

Five US quarters are about 1oz in weight and should hold down most keys on most keyboards.

I knew this because we had an error on a server with a pop up window that was only "ok". We couldn't kill the process because critical so we left a stack of change on enter until it it was done running and we could leave for the night.

Yesterday my employer banned the use of all wireless keyboards and mice due to security concerns. This applies to all employees, including our many remote employees (I wonder how they plan to enforce that). I’m trading in my nice quiet wireless keyboard for some Cherry MX blues to protest. I really liked my current keyboard and mouse too. RIP

Let me tell you a story.

Our company has a homegrown monitoring solution. Keeps track of our deployments and alerts us when something is broken. Really nice for the most part, except a little issue where we get up to 25 alerts PER DAY that our PRODUCTION ENVIRONMENT IS DOWN. Including weekends.

With this many false positives, we quickly learn to ignore the alerts and miss real incidents.

So we approached this team, remember its our own tool, and told them about the problem. Turns out it is a known issue. And here's the kicker: they aren't planning on fixing it!

It gets better. Rather than fix this glaring issue, their solution is to make ANOTHER ALERT that lets us know the monitoring is misbehaving.

To recap, we can now expect to get up to 25 false positive alerts per day that our production is down, followed immediately by more alerts that the monitor is broken, which means we can ignore the previous alert.

As our PM said when he heard this: fuck that noise. We are escalating the shit out of this!

I'm such an idiot.

Spilled water on my MacBook today. Not that much water, but the cup landed right in the middle of my keyboard.

Worst part is I was gaming with my sister and didn't want to stop. So I wiped it off and shook it out a bit and kept playing. A bit later the screen started flickering and eventually went black.

Finally my brain turned on and I switched it off, shook out some more water, and set it up to dry. Just hoping it's not too late.

At least the drying setup recommended by the internet is pretty hilarious looking.

Now we play the waiting game. They say 72 hours before turning it on again. Seems a bit extreme. Will there still be moisture evaporating 3 days later? Not sure I can wait that long to see if it's toast.

Such an idiot.

I've never had a problem with helping junior devs but when their keyboard and mouse looks like they bought it used from a primary school - glossy and covered in food etc... All I can think is burn it..... Burn it with fire.
Seriously... Keep your peripherals clean... They get nasty pretty quickly.

I purchased the worst keyboard ever for coding

Please help , suggest me some good keyboards( mechanical) for typing/coding

Also as a coder will you pefer the cherry mx red for coding?
Share your experiences

Who is the guy who designed the AZERTY keyboards ? 😠

Seriously... Alt Gr + 5 = [

And the most horrible thing is the "(" char... WHY THE FUCK DID HE PUTS IT IN THE "5" KEY WHEN KEYBOARD IS IN LOWERCASE ? YES, IN LOWERCASE, NOT ONLY WHEN SHIFT IS HOLD.

There are more than 100 keys in a keyboard, so why here? WHY?

Half of time I check if CapsLock is off just to be sure if I can open a bracket just because someone thought it was a good idea to put it here. It annoys me.

Netflix, why is your loading spinner so horrible!

Do you know what a percentage is??? 99% means you are ALMOST done. Just a tiny fraction to go. I should not see 99% for seconds or even minutes on end. Much less after the first 98% took only a couple seconds!!

Stop the lies!!!

*spends a long time crafting a huge eBay post (we're moving)
* tries to drag and drop first picture
* page navigates to the picture without warning
* loses everything

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

WHEN DRAGGING A PICTURE INTO A WEB PAGE I NEVER WANT TO NAVIGATE TO A PAGE WITH JUST THAT IMAGE. WHY NO WARNING BEFORE LEAVING THE PAGE. WHY DON'T YOU SAVE TEXT LOCALLY. WHY DOES THE WEB SUCK SO HARD. AAAGGGHHHH.

* feels better
* starts over

A few hours ago I decided it was a good idea to to clean up my keyboard. I did so and took a walk leaving the keys to dry.

After I came back I hoovered the -board and decided to put back the keys. I started with the special keys since they were the easiest to find (and some required a metal thing).

Now, I was quickly made aware of something that I had never known nor noticed before. Bear with me here as I'm not a person that cares too much about hardware unless I need to. (Hardware here meaning stuff like mice, keyboards, headsets, and stuff like that). But I learned that

Not all keys are the same size. They look really similar to someone like me. But I manned up and put the keys back.

A little under 1.5 hours later and I now posses a keyboard that is in uncanny valley. It doesn't feel like it though, and it shouldn't be that big of a problem since I never look at my keyboard anyway.

Messaged one of my m8's about and this was his reply

"nope
one kind per row
usually says the row on the underside"

Now fantasize about the elasmobranch fish which is characterized by a cartilaginous skeleton of which I am the proprietor at what he said. I pulled a key out and, sure enough, "C28 R1".

Now I am not sure about the 28th column, but it did fit in the first row.

Fuck me

You want to land a job as PHP developer? About to go to an interview?

There are two ways:

1. Be able to explain the difference between an interface and an abstract class and their purposes. (I shit you not.)

2. If you aren't able to, then simply state you don't know and are eager to learn.

(The second approach might not work if you claimed to know object oriented programming "very well" before though.)

Yet I am astounded in how many interviews people were either playing smart and just rambled on not wanting to lose face. During the remote calls of some special candidates I could even hear them typing on their keyboards in the background googling the answers to my questions.

And the irony is that I thereby had to veto their appliance. As they had lost my trust in being able to communicate honestly. And for wasting my time.

Our domain is complicated and ever-changing and not knowing certain parts of software development is *normal*.

Yet don't just try to fake it in order to land a job. It won't work, and when it does you may find yourself literally in the company of like-minded individuals.

I only use super old mechanical keyboards at home... anyone else? 😄

Hardware of laptops today.
Displays: Glossy screens everywhere. "Hurr durr it has better colors". Idgaf what colors it has, when the only thing I can see is the wall behind me and my own reflection. Make it matte or get it out.
Touchpads: Bring back mechanical buttons. Haptic feedback dying with touchscreens/surfaces is a tragedy. "But we can have bigger touchpad area without buttons" ...why? the goal shouldn't be 1:1 touchpad vs. display ratio. It ain't a bloody tablet.
Docking stations: Some bright fucker figured out that they can utilize USB C. That thing keeps falling out with slightest laptop movement disconnecting all peripherals (guess why microUSB had those small hooks?). Also it doesn't have sufficient throughput, so the 5 years old dock can feed 3 full HD monitors just fine and the new one can't.
Keyboards: Personally I hate chiclet. And it's everywhere, because "apple has it so we must too". But the thing I hate even more is retardation of the arrow keys (up and down merged into size of one key), missing dedicated Home/End/PgDwn/PgUp buttons and somebody deciding the F keys are not needed and started replacing them with some multimedia bullshit.

My overall feeling is that this happens when you give the market to designers and customer demand. You end up with eye candy and useless fancy gadgets, with lowered ergonomy and worse features than previous generations of the same hardware. My laptop dying is my daily nightmare as I have no idea with what on the current market I would replace it.

2 days into a new java project and I already miss scala so much.

What's the best keyboard (type/model) for a programmer in your opinion, based on your experience?

I always used the keyboards included with the PC, never thought much about that, but now I would like to invest in something better.
I found a lot of articles on internet, but each one says different things, so I'm sure the devRant community is more reliable.

Thanks in advance!

Below the one I'm using write now.

A minute of silence for developer who don't have English keyboard and can't easily type ` or ~

I now value mechanical keyboards.

I miss laptop keyboards like this...
Look at delete and esc buttons!
😍

P.S.: No commercials here..you can't find this anymore! Even that company stopped from produce laptop like this..!

Worst black friday specials ever.
I'm really not a fan of the "holiday" anyway, but I found basically nothing I wanted. 🙄

Also: I'm trying to find a nice RGB keyboard with green cherries. Any suggestions on where to look? I've found one site that makes custom keyboards (wasd), but theirs aren't RGB. ☹ I want purple/pink backlighting damnit!

Pink is not always a good idea

For example, pink themed IDE, pink keyboards, pink lights...

:/

Mechanical keyboard rocks.
Increased my wpm by 10 in 2 days.

My new fitbit reminds me take 250 steps each hour. When I do stop and take a walk, I find it helps my productivity, and I feel better. However, I'm not good at keeping to it.

It's always the same story.

"Quiet you, I'll get up and walk once I finish this one thing".

...

Another hour goes by.

If only I could keep to my own convictions.

I spent more than an hour trying trying to debug why two functions were always returning undefined. I even put in conditional breakpoints and executed the statements to confirm the logic was correct.

I forgot return.

Thanks to DevRant, you have saved hundreds of monitors from getting smashed, keyboards from getting torn into pieces and mouses being flung across the rooms! There is a platform for rants now!

Our university labs still use computers with 512mb ram, celeron processor for programming and networking courses. Even worse some of the mouse/keyboards/monitors not working and we occasionally have to do exam on those machines ...

During a health and safety course today I was asked to talk about the workspace ergonomics. Part of that course is to make sure everyone knows how to customise their seat, screen, keyboard, etc., so I told everyone to unfold those little feet on the bottom of their keyboards and everyone did... Everyone but a cheeky little customer service girl who was more interested in taking selfies of her skirt coincidentally matching the carpet. I cleared my throat and said again:

- "Please, unfold your keyboard's feet."

Nothing. Coughed. Nothing. Finally, quite annoyed, I repeated myself for the 3rd time:

- "Unfold the feet, please!"

She jumped. Eyes wide. Noticed everyone staring. And very very slowly, with a look of complete puzzlement, she spread her legs.

!quiteRant

Since I'm working for 3 years as a parttime software engineer, I started to feel my tendon sheath more and more, sometimes it was hurting so I decided to have a look around on ergonomic keyboards, because in the office we only have these flat, thin wireless keyboards which are the fucking opposite of ergonomic.
They feel like when Eddie Scissorhands has to cut hair of a pile of rocks.
So after some reviews I decided to buy a Kinesis Advantage2 (made in the USA of Americas) eventhough it is quite expensive (379 Kanuckistan Kopeks).

I must say this keyboard is fucking well engineered. You can remap every key in a few keypresses and it is stored on the keyboard itself, no software required... awesome!
The disadvantage for me is, being pretty tall I have very wide shoulders so the 2 keyboard pits are a bit too close together in my oppinion.
The other thing is, you really have to get used to it... I am slowly advancing in speed and it feels great. No pain anymore and I don't have to move my hands at all.

So what are your experiences with keyboards and does your workplace have a good setup for staying healthy?

Living the mech life

Stougles of a developer whose native language is not English.

1 ANSI keyboard for dev
1 local ISO qertz keyboard for everything else with weird characters

DON'T. INSTALL. BETA. SOFTWARE. BY. DEFAULT.

RAZER

When I plugged my $250 keyboard (Which I have had for years and love beyond measure) into my new install of Windows, it popped up with a cute little message to install Razer Synapse, which manages the lighting on Razer devices, like my keyboards (One mechanical and one not - for silence during voice chat), mouse and headset.

"Wow, this looks different", I mutter to myself, as I unknowingly and non-optionally install software which is IN BETA.

I notice that my other keyboard and mouse don't show up. I don't customize my mouse much, I leave it in spectrum cycling. Easy, works well. My other keyboard is much cheaper and does not offer very much customization (three colors. whoop. I don't touch that either much)

Since I only really touch this keyboard, I am not bothered in the slightest and carry on for a couple months. Fast forwards to yesterday when my mouse stops lighting up. Fuck, now its just a black blob. I'll open synapse tomorrow and fix that.

No I won't

After uninstalling devices, uninstalling synapse, restart restart restart, uninstall again, install again, blah blah blah, download a tool that didn't detect the device either, etc etc, for about two hours, I was about ready to accept my dark fate. But then, I saw (screenshot attached) this little itty-bitty beta tag next to the software (again) installed by default.

I about flipped my shit, uninstalled Razer Synapse 3 so hard it sent a tsunami towards some coastal country, and then angrily installed Razer Synapse 2.

That looks more familiar. Oh, there we are, all three devices. Ah, very well, my mouse is working correctly once again. I know its at the header of this rant, but let's reiterate (or, reiterage, in this case):

DON'T. INSTALL. BETA. SOFTWARE. BY. DEFAULT.

Thank you.

Python rant

Where the hell is Break key?!

Story: I wrote multithreaded python script and went to Lab to test it. Script got stuck (one thread died) and I needed to stop that thing, but how without magic Ctrl+Break?

Damn you Dell with your slim and minimalistic keyboards!

As a computational biologist from Europe working in the US, I often have to switch between qwerty and qwertz keyboards. I can't highlight enough how hard it is to type the word "homozygosity". 🥺

Macbook Pro - No ESC key?

Its not like its used much in vi or emacs anyway is it?

No esc key on a unix box? Seriously?

I know its got a 'soft' escape key - hows it going to know to switch to that if i run vi or emacs -nw in an ssh session?

Mac keyboards go from bad to worse - used to be a nightmare to find a | symbol.

what do you think of my setup?

/* picture of desk with 200 monitors, 7 keyboards, a flying mouse, a rasbperry pi with a human head, and a desk lamp */

I hate it when certain keyboards have fn or the alt key at the edge of the keyboard instead of ctrl because it makes copying and pasting like a million times harder.

Sitting in Office on a Saturday learning how to Code :) There is nothing like a quiet peaceful office with no other keyboards clickety clacking than your own.

Coding has given me the ability to turn my favorite hobby into a career. This in turn gave me the chance to take jobs in three countries so far (US, Germany, UK). So, I can explore the world with lovely wife while doing something I'm really passionate about and constantly learning. It also allows me to relate more to my dad, a software engineer of about 30 years who got me started when I was a kid.

In short, coding changed everything for me.

PS: I met my wife in intro to CS, though she's not a developer.

People with dirty, greasy keyboards and mice. They obviously never wash their hands and all that disgusting gunk builds up around where they touch.

The feeling when you use someone else's mouse, and you can feel the lumpy texture of the sticky grey filth on it.

Clean your desk equipment occasionally, people. Also, wash your hands properly after using the bathroom, and it won't even be much of a problem.

and what happens when you're both a dev and a gamer 😓

!dev-ish

I hate whenever people take hobbies and other things that aren't personality traits and try to make it a personality trait.

Your sexuality isn't a personality trait.
Your diet (looking at you *obnoxious* vegans) isn't a personality trait.
Coding isn't a personality trait.
Your race isn't a personality trait.

I'mma end this rant with a !rant tho.

I know they're obnoxious asf but oh my God mechanical keyboards are one of the most amazing sounds on this earth. Sometimes I'll type just to hear that beautiful sound.

Raise your exception if you love mechanical keyboards.

Yuck, there's no keyboards shortcut for that. Now I have to move my hand all the way to my mouse and back again. Double yuck

While we're on the subject of keyboards, here's my baby! A V60 with Maria's switches!

After being live multiple years supporting only Safari, Firefox, and Chrome, one customer wanted IE support. After taking a close look at the usage numbers, and discussing with us front-end devs, our product guy shot it down. Pop the champagne!

When your company buys a third party solution and you spend all your time emailing them about bugs in their system.

Seriously, I even sent you the exact line of the bug in your JavaScript with a suggested solution, and deployed a new stack with your latest (broken) fix so you can test out that solution. Then you email back saying it is fixed but it is clearly still broken. If I email you a fixed version of your file will you deploy it? OMG!

If an orange costs $6 and a grape costs $4, how much does a pineapple cost?

Mechanical keyboards.

Not at the hate point yet, but Apple's hardware division has been missing the mark for about 5-6 years now.

The phones have been too big for my hands since the 5 came out, and the latest lineup doesn't even have a compromise in that size.

The keyboards that replaced the chiclet keyboards suck because they provide almost no tactile feedback whatsoever.

Ditching the magsafe adaptors to force you to dedicate one of your USB ports to powering your machine is stupid.

Still doing fine on the software front overall, however. Granted, they've been dismantling everything I ever liked about iTunes since version 8 came out, but I've given up on that at this point.

Slow time so I can code more AND sleep more!

Teaching a relatives boyfriend VBA so he can edit macros in excel, he has an interview next week as a junior data analyst and this a requirement. This is his laptop keyboard. Pay close attention to the placement of ctrl, shift etc. and the lack of a backspace.

I hate the new MacBook Pro's keyboard sound. It's ridiculous.

Computers and their peripherals are constantly advancing, but keyboards... keyboards never change, We pretty much just stole the idea from typewriters and moved on.

This is something I'm proud of about myself as a developer, which is rare.

My setup with the Alt key.

All the keys in my left hand (as in, for all the keys in my left hand region, qwerasdfzxcv)
have their Alt and AltShift combinations mapped to (almost) all the special chars related to programming.
For example:
Alt + z -> /
AltShift + z -> \

Here's me typing them in 2 seconds.
{}()_-'"/:+=<>[]|#~`\;*!

And, on my right hand, I emulate the arrow keys movement:
Alt + hjkl moves chars
AltShift + hjkl moves and selects chars
AltCtrl + hjkl moves words
AltCtrlShift + hjkl moves and selects words
Alt + n. backspaces/deletes chars
AltCtrl + n. backspaces/deletes words

And the best of them all:
Alt + space -> <return>
AltShift + space -> Shift+<return> (which does a newline in chat editors like fb messenger)
AltCtrl + Space -> Ctrl+<return> (which can do the submit in some forms, like send email in gmail)

Now, my hand sits for real on the home row and rarely moves because it's not there just for vim, but for the entire system as well.
This setup is very compliant with my little mouse use, since I use vim, and the vim extension for chrome.
I still use and need the mouse for some tasks.

Another one huge benefit is that I don't have a problem remembering where the keys are. This is a problem I can have because I go between different keyboards because of having used different keyboards: argentinian, american, japanese and now brazilian (I'm not trying to be cool, it's just a series of circumstances that led me to using different keyboards).

At the same time, this thing might have become a hinderance because it's not as easy for me going to a different keyboard.

Regarding implementations, when I used MacOS I used Karabiner, insanely clean interface.
On linux, I have to create my own mapping in X.

An infinite number of Rubber Duckys typing randomly on an infinite number of keyboards will eventually create half life 3.

Also, a single Rubber Ducky typing randomly on a single keyboard, left alone and unobserved has both created half life 3 and not created half life 3 at the same time.

I never thought I was a highly opinionated person (read: elitist) until I realized it bothered me that my coworker prefers low-profile rubber dome keyboards to mechanical ones. I'm going on a journey for personal growth this week.

*Me studying at the library*

*dead silence*

*A guy sits across the table with his laptop*

*starts typing*
KLICK KLACK KLICK KLACK KLICK KLACK KLACK KLICKITY KLACK

Inner Me: :-| *wth*
You couldn't type any more louder tha..

KLICK KLACK KLICK KLACK KLICK KLACK KLACK KLACK KLICKITY KLACK KLACK KLACK...

Maybe the big "Silence Please" sign doesn't count keyboard noises

His laptop had one of those soft touch keyboards, that no one would hear anything if you type on them.
I guess he was trying to be a pretentious hax0r or something lol

He left soon enough, so, that was fortunate.. 😅

The fucking defective Caps Lock on Apple keyboards drives me fucking ballistic!

WHY would they ever think it would be a good idea to introduce a minimum press time for a key?!?

EVERY. FUCKING. TIME. I use the damn thing it inevitably fails and I have to backspace, delete the non-caps text I just entered after HITTING THE FUCKING CAPS LOCK KEY, tap the damn thing again (harder this time) and try again. It usually takes 2 or 3 tries before it actually catches. I'm sorry, but training myself to type slower is not as easy as you think!

Who the fuck thought up this nonsensical bullshit?? And who the fuck is going around accidentally tapping their caps lock key to the point where such a delay would be needed?? Do you not know where your own fingers are??

Seriously, all this does is penalize fast typists and people who actually want to USE the caps lock key for what it was meant for.

I swear to god this one little thing pisses me off SO much. And what's worse is they don't even give you an option to disable it, AND it's bloody fucking impossible to disable yourself even through the terminal.

(Also, typing this rant with so many caps was probably not as cathartic as I was going for!) 😂

What is the weirdest place you ever coded?

When you try to clap in a presentation while holding coffee and spill it all over yourself.

Not exactly a co-worker, but one of the devs from the client's team spent a few months working in our office next to us. He would always take a nap at lunch time and snore loudly, and eat an apple afterwards and it seemed to be impossible for him to chew with his mouth closed.

Whenever he had a cold and his nose got blocked he would still force himself to breathe through his nose, so it sounded something like a mix of darth vader and someone drowning.

He also lacked any notion of personal space, and would always sneak behind us to ask questions and then put his laptop right on top of our keyboards or in front of our screens and start talking while we still had headphones on.

First thing, I love my colleague. I know him for 15 years and I'm under 30. But I freaking hate when he picks his nose FOR ALL THE DAY LONG and uses shared mouses and keyboards, leaving them unable to use. I have to clean all that mess and no matter what we say he still do it. :(

Why can't we program from thought instead of keyboards... It's fucking 2016.

Maybe keep mechanical keywords though :)

I keep a 20 year old PS/2 keyboard around specifically for that rare event I need to edit my bios settings. My mobo doesn’t enable usb until half a second after it stops listening for input because who uses usb keyboards, anyway?

Fuck wireless keyboards, way too often now have I gotten compiler errors because it decided to take a dump on the connection and just skip a few keystrokes... And for some reason it just completely stops at times when doing 100+ keystrokes per second.

Best of all is that we're not allowed to use our own keyboard because "it would break the consistency the workplaces have"

As devs, our keyboards are arguably the most used tools in the creative process of software development. Shortcuts are essential for (most of) us.

What's your most used keyboard shortcut in your most used IDE? Please explain what it does in which IDE.

Mine is Cmd+Alt+L in IntelliJ (reformat code, but only VCS changed or selected lines). I press it all the time, almost maniacally, after changing anything.

Close second place candidates: Shift+F6 (rename anything, e.g. file, class, function, variable), double Shift (search everywhere), Cmd+Alt+F (find in path, also in code), Cmd+B (go to declaration).

I am actually the person who take google's act sceptically, and concern about my privacy. I talk alot about that with my colleagues and friends, and yet i just realized i used google keyboards all along

When you make a mistake and try to fix it, but you can't remember how to spell amend...

git commit --ammend
error: unknown command `amend'

git commit -ammend
[branch-name] mend

Huh?

git log
commit #
mend

Created a new commit with message 'mend'. Now to clean this all up and go get some sleep!

The moment that everything works on localhost but you upload it to a FTP it is broken😫😥 I am so upsaid

There are people who quit coding cause of errors and stuck ups. But there are these special others, who work on Saturday, smash their keyboards on the desk and say FUCK IT.

Years ago, one of my friends in college was taking an intro to CS class. He asked me for help on one of his assignments. It was a simple Python program, but it wasn't running as expected. I go in figuring it will be easy to fix. But everything looks exactly right. An hour later I'm tearing my hair out! It isn't even entering the function although it's clearly called. I'm beginning to feel very self conscious, as a CS major who can't even debug a 15 line program for a friend.

Then it hit me. This is Python. I used an editor macro to convert all indentation to tabs, lined them up, and it ran on the first try. Turns out, he had somehow ended up with a mixture of tabs and spaces.

I'm not sure what the takeaway is, but I think he got a surprisingly honest introduction to the life of a developer...

Only have virtual keyboards!

windows update bricked my touchpad.
rebooting bricked my keyboards.
reinstalling windows fixed my keyboards but not my touchpad.

this has been going for a week now.
i'm moving back to linux. maybe i'll try arch this time around.

fuck you microsoft.

ps: my touchpad seems to be permanently bricked.

PSA: negate your tests and make sure they fail!

I have what I thought was a weird and slightly paranoid habit. When I write tests sometimes just as a sanity check negate the assertion to make sure the test fails and isn't a false positive. Almost always fails as expected.

But not today! Turns out I had forgotten to wrap my equality check in an assertion so it would always pass. It freaks me out to imagine pushing a test that always passes not just because it doesn't do its job, but could also obscure a bug and trick me into thinking it works differently than it does. Broken tests are the worst!

But it pays to be paranoid.

I don't know if this is a problem only in Belgium or also in other countries but while I love Bluetooth for audio playback (headsets, speakers and everything) despite being extremely convoluted as a protocol.. FUCK Bluetooth keyboards.

Several of them I've tried. Several of them, from various brands. Pairing, setting the Belgian keyboard layout (which on that shitty Android 7.0 tablet that I want to use the fucking things with apparently has to be done *every fucking time you connect*, because reasons) all well. Except half the keys don't fucking map properly. A keymap, it doesn't get easier than that! How hard is it to make buttons map to the right keys!? They're literally fucking push buttons on a matrix! Seeing which points in the circuit make contact and sending that off to wherever it needs to go!

And to put the icing on the cake? USB keyboards with the same fucking layout settings work without any problems. So it's extremely likely that it's something in those shitty keyboards' controllers or Bluetooth going full rart on all of them.

Of course, Bluetooth being as convoluted as it is, manufacturers just copy each others' implementations of it if they can.. so there's that.

Can really nobody make a product halfway decent anymore before putting it on the market!?

Another one bites the dust.. JUNK!!! Every single goddamn one of them!

Can someone legitimately explain to me what're the perks of mechanical keyboards?

Installing OS onto server
3 hours
Configurations and Updates
4 hours
Won't boot up and keyboards not functioning till after grub...
Priceless

"A start job is running for Wait for Plymouth Boot Screen to Quit" can go fuck itself.

This weekly is getting really popular with so many rants coming in.
Shows the extent to which real coders/programmers/developers are tormented by the incompetent education system.
Here is my two cents:
Students should be taught to build their logic on paper before jumping on to their keyboards.

tbh my high school curriculum revolves around the fact that my compsci class is run by code.org
i fucking hate those videos and drag and drop blocks to learn how to code
in 10years when im (hoping to be ) a software engineer, will the company have drag and drop? no. they will have keyboards and a screen. teach me how to fucking type code and not blocks please...
code.org has tainted this world just like how puberty tainted my dick recently...
teach me how to code, dont teach me how to drag and drop..

A typical bouba coder:
- thinks a kilobyte contains 1024 bytes
- thinks Object.assign clones an object
- codes in react.js, thinks he knows reactive programming
- “amd is better for games, intel is better for work”
- thinks that the main advantage of ssh is that you don’t need to enter your password manually
- watches porn in incognito mode
- “crapple”
- “uhm, is it immutable?”
- thinks “persistent” means saved to local storage
- thinks designer is an inferior job because “they only draw shapes”
- thinks good accessibility is when the tab key works
- “All non-mechanical keyboards are trash”
- “C is outdated and nobody uses it anymore”
- “Zuck quit uni and now he’s a billionaire, everybody should quit”
- thinks “pointer” is a shape of the cursor

Aren't you, software engineer, ashamed of being employed by Apple? How can you work for a company that lives and shit on the heads of millions of fellow developers like a giant tech leech?
Assuming you can find a sounding excuse for yourself, pretending its market's fault and not your shitty greed that lets you work for a company with incredibly malicious product, sales, marketing and support policies, how can you not feel your coders-pride being melted under BILLIONS of complains for whatever shitty product you have delivered for them?
Be it a web service that runs on 1980 servers with still the same stack (cough cough itunesconnect, membercenter, bug tracker, etc etc etc etc) incompatible with vast majority of modern browsers around (google at least sticks a "beta" close to it for a few years, it could work for a few decades for you);
be it your historical incapacity to build web UI;
be it the complete lack of any resemblance of valid documentation and lets not even mention manuals (oh you say that the "status" variable is "the status of the object"? no shit sherlock, thank you and no, a wwdc video is not a manual, i don't wanna hear 3 hours of bullshit to know that stupid workaround to a stupid uikit api you designed) for any API you have developed;
be it the predatory tactics on smaller companies (yeah its capitalism baby, whatever) and bending 90 degrees with giants like Amazon;
be it the closeness (christ, even your bugtracker is closed and we had to come up with openradar to share problems that you would anyway ignore for decades);
be it a desktop ui api that is so old and unmaintained and so shitty, but so shitty, that you made that cancer of electron a de facto standard for mainstream software on macos;
be it a IDE that i am disgusted to even name, xcrap, that has literally millions of complains for the same millions of issues you dont even care to answer to or even less try to justify;
be it that you dont disclose your long term plans and then pretend us to production-test and workaround-fix your shitty non-production ready useless new OS features;
be it that a nervous breakdown on a stupid little guy on the other side of the planet that happens to have paid to you dozens of thousands of euros (in mandatory licences and hardware) to actually let you take an indecent cut out of his revenues cos there is no other choice in a monopoly regime, matter zero to you;
Assuming all of these and much more:
How can you sleep at night with all the screams of the devs you are exploiting whispering in you mind? Are all the money your earn worth?

** As someone already told you elsewhere, HAVE SOME FUCKING PRIDE, shitty people AND WRITE THE FUCKING DOCS AND FIX THE FUCKING BUGS you lazy motherfuckers, your are paid more than 99.99% of people on earth, move your fucking greasy little fingers on that fucking keyboard. **

PT2: why the fuck did you remove the ESC key from your shitty keyboards you fuckshits? is it cos autocomplete is slower than me searching the correct name of a function on stackoverflow and hence ESC key is useless? at least your hardware colleagues had the decency of admitting their error and rolling back some of the uncountable "questionable "hardware design choices (cough cough ...magic mouse... cough golden charging cables not compatible with your own devices.. cough )?

hey ranteros! i like to dream and i know many of us dream of a nice machine to do anything on it, if you want to post the specs of your ideal build(s) (even a laptop, pre-built pc, space gray macbook pro... doesn't matter). and your current one.

here's mine:

ideal: {
type: desktop-pc,
cpu: intel i7-8700K (coffee lake),
gpu: nvidia geforce gtx 1080ti,
ram: 32gb ddr4,
storage: {
ssd: samsung 960 evo 500gb,
hdd: 2tb wd black
},
motherboard: any good motherboard that supports coffee lake and has a good selection of i/o,
psu: anything juicy enough, silver rated,
cooling: i don't care about liquid cooling that much, or maybe i'm just afraid of it,
case: i accept any form factor, as long as it's not too oBNoxi0Us,
peripherals: {
monitor: 1080p, maybe 1440p, i can't 4k because of the media i consume (i have tons of shit i watch in 720p) + other reasons,
keyboardmousecombo: i like logitech stuff, nothing fancy, their non mechanical keyboards are nice, for mice the mx master 2 is nice i think, i also don't care about rgb because i think it's too distracting and i'm always in darkness so some white backlight is great
},
os: windows 10, tails (i have some questions about tails i'll be asking in a different post,
}

i think this is enough for ideal, now reality:

current: {
type: laptop,
brand: acer (aspire 7736z),
cpu: pentium dual-core 2.10ghz,
gpu: geforce g210m 2gb (with cuda™!),
ram: 4gb ddr3,
storage: hdd 500gb wd blue 5400rpm (this motherfucker stood the test of time because it's still working since i bought this thing (the laptop as it is) used in late 2009 although it's full of bad sectors and might anytime, don't worry i have everything backed up, i have a total of 5 hdds varying from 320gb to 1tb with different stuff on them),
screen: 17 inch hd-ready!!! (i think it's a tn panel), i've never done a test on color accuracy, but to my eyes it's bright, colorful, and has some dust particles between the lcd and backlight hah,
other cool things: dvd player/burner, full-sized keyboard with numeric keypad, vga, hdmi, 4 usb ports, ethernet, wi-fi haha, and it's hot, i mean so hot, hotter than elsa jean and piper perri combined,
os: windows 10, tails
}

if you read this whole thing i love you, and if you have some time to spare on a sunday you can share your dream rig and the sometimes cruel current one if you dare. you don't have to share them both. i know many will go b.o.b and say "what you're hoping to accomplish, i already did bitch.", that's cool as well, brag about your cool rig!

!rant

Super awesome day today.

1. Got up early to do a risky production deploy and it worked!
2. Three PRs approved before lunch.
3. Got some time to continue learning scala.
4. Coffee and cupcakes with some refugees and discussed work as a software engineer.
5. Tried virtual reality for the first time. Really fun.
6. Helped prepare our goals for this quarter and present them to the department.
7. Department meeting had free local craft beer and pretzels.
8. Went bouldering after work and flashed a 6c.
9. Curled up with my wife watching Netflix.

I really love my life sometimes.

buttons that need to be added on keyboards:
- Ctrl-C
- Ctrl-V
- Ctrl-ALT-Del

What is your Favorite time to code ?

"Can you check what my password is?"

Can you tell what keys were used the most?

Got to clean the keyboard now.

I have a new job in Spain. I'm from France.
France use AZERTY keyboards, Spain use QWERTY.
I feel like my brain is melting (+_+)

Do mechanical keyboards actually make a difference?
Is it worth the dosh?
What kind of keyboard do you use?

Me: *adds a shiny new graph to our foos web app showing player ratings*

Fred: Can I please have a button to see just my scores?

Me: *adds "JUST FRED" button*

Fred: perfect, thanks

Long live the Clear Cherry MX Switched Mechanical Keyboards!

When our colleague got twins we put two out of everything into his cubicle: two chairs, two keyboards, two mouses, two lamps, two plants, etc... and two "welcome back" signs too

Date a programmer;
We break keyboards;
Not hearts;

Seriously? is this fucking true? I guess not 😔😂

Heathrow express having some trouble this morning.

!rant

Made my research about mechanical keyboard and was worried that my first one was going to be too loud at work.

I can hear the majority of hammering cave trolls smashing their membrane keyboards louder than I can hear my MX Brown.

This shit is like heaven for fingers.

:D

I've been looking into the world of mechanical keyboards, and damm I'm overwhelmed by the possibillities of configurations and products. Why is chosing a keyboard for the MacBook 12" which has only 1 usb-c so hard? Any advice on keyboards and keyswitches?

Friend got me in to mechanical keyboards... Now I want to buy every keycap. My wallet is not happy with this life choice.

I can't beleive i could not find a single sane laptop without those shitty "chiclet" keyboards. It's already beyond trend.

somebody save me!!! Isn't there really one single non-chiclet laptop out there in the great cosmos?

The keyboards of original ThinkPad computers are easily the best which I have ever used.

alias please=sudo

The look of people who discover Dvorak on my phone...

Buying a mechanical keyboard was probably one of the best decisions I ever made!

I get home today and my wife says:

"Just finished some chores and really want to play stardew valley, but the computer has been updating for an hour!"

Windows 10 anniversary update strikes again.

!rant

Coworker: I yelled at Sony for the PS3 having 7 USB ports... I said that devices only need 2 USB ports. But now, I have this laptop here that has two USB ports and I'm yelling at it! So who's the hypocrite?

Me: You?

Coworker: Sony. Though to be fair, this laptop was made back before we really needed a lot of USB ports. Keyboards and mice were PS/2.

Me: What about printers?

Coworker: They have printer cables....

Me: WHICH ARE USB!

Coworker: ....Oh yeah...

What did it tell me to???
Well, I was switching keyboards and started my desktop before i connected the new one. In my mind I was mocking the Mac. Now if I had a Mac it would not let me boot, stupid thing! Luckily I'm running Linux.
Butt wait! Never got that far! AMERICAN MEGANITWITS, if you ask me!

Public Service Request to Users from Tokyo and those with good knowledge in buying keyboards.

Which retail shop sell tenkeyless mechanical keyboard such as HyperX Alloy FPS Pro? With English words not Japanese 😬

I can't find it at my country and my gf is currently at Tokyo for a training, so.

On further note, I'm looking for a keyboard with following requirements. Would appreciate your recommendation.
- without numpad
- standard qwerty layout (US/UK)
- backlit (any color, as long as keys are visible in dark)
- USB wired
- easy to clean and maintain
- must last for more than 3 years

When you offer to help out a fellow coworker on the top priority feature he is developing and he just sends you the branch and stops working on it.

Due to the constant change in accuracy of my keyboards' predictive algorithms, I now find myself switching between SwiftKey and GBoard... 😢😔

Anyone else feel the same?

Started my internship Monday. Got given a new top spec MacBook Pro. Yay. Except it has the German Keyboard layout. () require shift and yet {} and [] require alt. Whoever designed the layout clearly doesn't program.
Oh and the imposter syndrome is coming on strong.

I think I just get one of these keyboards...

I was wondering why monitors sleep and keyboards don't. Then I realised that the keyboard has two SHIFTS.

My old mechanical keyboard broke, so I had to buy a new one. I'm Brazilian, so the local market for mech keyboards is either limited or very fancy (fancy as gaming keyboards).

So I got this amazing Logitech G610, which unfortunately is not sold with blue switches here, only brown ones. Very solidly built, well made, good extra keys and whatnot.

BUT OH MY, who ever thinks those LED effects are good for normal usage after 5 minutes of playing with them??? VERY distracting! <o>

Does anyone make punchable keyboards? Free devRant product idea @dfox @trogus

~rant
I think we need to change way how websites deliver themselves to its users. This HTML CSS JS clusterfuck is just a huge PITA in the ass.

What is a website?
It's an application where users find, communicate or share information, can buy or sell their penis pumps and loads of shady stuff.
Why must a website (the delivered application) be split into multiple languages/scripts and lots of HTTP requests?
In my opinion, PWA is a start to make us look at websites more like apps as we are used to on the machine, but they don't solve the mess.
Per my experience, many people working on websites regularly confuse what's executed on the server and what is on the client. They send data to the client via XHR, for example full DB tables of private data, just to then filter it in their beloved Array.filter function.
You can tell those people again and again and this is why I start thinking that the Web, as we know it, needs a big change.

Whoever thought that using some crappy niche framework for selenium web driver based on node.js instead of using Python or Java bindings like every other reasonable person would do should be beaten to death with old keyboards.

There are keyboards with built-in smartcard reader :o Can't attach a pic of it because I've seen it during a confidential process.

git pull origin master --allow-unrelated-histories

Because I like to keep life interesting.

Been made redundant today.

Get some tissues cause imma spill my tea across your keyboards.

It was my first job. I was a UX designer.(I guess I have to use past tense?) I was there for 6 months. It was enjoyable and rewarding,slightly stressful because I worked for two companies under an umbrella company and was split 50-50.
I was told to come to work and I went and I saw one of my bosses in the room aswell ( I have two bosses btw - 2 companies)
The head of IT comes in and tells us we both have been made redundant as our company is not doing well ( its a travel company)...
I was shocked and I cried. I felt sorry for my boss he was there for ten yrs. And he has kids. I was told I could go home but I went to bathroom and cried. I came out and I didn't know if I was supposed to finish the day ( I had 3 meetings) or go home.... So I went to the meeting like a dumb dumb.
Most awk meeting because the other company didn't even know I was made redundant. The meeting was about how even though its a difficult time for us we r United and we aren't firing u guys just take unpaid holidays etc. Btw IT head was in that meeting was shocked to see me there ... I don't even know why I went. Anyways I found out they got rid of 174 employees across the umbrella company. I had to awkwardly tell my other boss I've been made redundant. He was shocked... I don't even know what to do. How to do. Sigh. I asked him if we wanted me to finish work off he's like do whatever u want to do.... I mean whattt.

Also does anyone know what a redudancy consultantion meeting is? It's my first job I have no idea what happens. Anyone here made redundant? How did u cope with it? Do u think I'm gonna get another job in this pandemic? Sorry I'm just a bit lost

Monday morning client meetings are usually a pain. If they're not delayed once, they're delayed twice, and they go on for hours, taking up the entire morning for everyone on the project.

To make today even better, it was about an hour of our client ripping into us developers on the project, and the application we're making, to shreds, saying that we have a lack of attention to detail and are working well.
(not bearing in mind, we're building a hybrid application, so it's a glorified web page and we can't test on every android phone, or iOS device and any combination of keyboards for those in between, and every problem comes with its own quirks when you're forcing things with html, js and angularjs).

I feel back for the pm, she had literally 5 more hours of salty, salty calls with our other poc about the issues raised and how we could go about fixing all these minor issues, since they know the solution to them, despite having little to zero technical knowledge.

Just another day in the office I guess.

We had a system in the office were just pressed 0 on the keyboard to go back one step in the program. My kast day at the worn I removed all 0 keys from all the keyboards in the offfice and hid them.

I want to buy a beer for everyone who developed the mobile pass app. Just breezed through immigration and customs without waiting in the 1 hour+ line. Technology wins. Cheers!

We've been using private GitHub repos as a distribution method for our personal npm packages at work for years.

I finally got sick of it and did the work to publish them to artifactory yesterday. Today, I worked out the remaining kinks, fixed the CI builds, and wrote a wiki page explaining the change with step by step migration instructions and sent it around to the rest of the devs. And it's working great!

I feel simultaneously like a hero for finally getting this fixed and an idiot for putting up with it for so long.

Also thankful for my devops friend who helped a bunch.

iPhone keyboards need haptic feedback. 😑

Is it coincidental that the two most important keys that help us devs build our CVs, the C and V keys are inline on our keyboards? And look at that Ctrl key...That's what happens after too many rounds of copying and pasting...All hail Ctrl, C and V keys

When you immediately regret your career decisions.

Why do I make everything so expensive. I'm not a hardcore enthusiast, but at the same time I wont settle for "mainstream" and so I do weird unique things that end up costing more than they should

My mech keyboards are all DIY, I've spent $150-200 on 3 different occasions for 3 different keyboards. I think I'm settling down, but boy that was rough on my wallet.

Now I'm working on a custom workstation build, but I can't just use any normal tower because I ain't no normie. I want it to be SFF/portable so I'm planning on spending $250 just on the shoebox case (DAN A4-SFX). That's probably the most expensive part, besides maybe the GPU. Current plan is R7 1700 or 2700 with 16GB, RX 580 8GB, and 1TB NVMe, around USD$1200 total maybe