Boss: we need a html clone of our WordPress website, how many days do you need to recode?

Me: Sure, I need a week

Boss: ok

wget --mirror --convert-links --adjust-extension --page-requisites --no-parent URL

How I've decided to answer the "can you hack" question from here on in...

"Can you show me how to hack this account please?"

"Sure, you'll need a hammer, a blow torch, chloroform, some pliers and couple of bottles of really pure vodka!"

"What the hell?!"

"Oh, it's so much quicker to just extract a password from a person, than it is to break into a system, I'm not exactly trained in inflicting pain on the human body, but I'm sure you'll be able to figure it out through trial and error, good luck!"

Friend: So you're a programmer? You must be good in hacking WiFis and sht.
Me: Uhm..
Friend: Can you hack my PayPal account using HTML?
Me: Say no more.

*click "Empty Recycle Bin"*
*removing 134.389 files. Time remaining: about 15 minutes*
Me: What the fuck is happening?!
*open Recycle Bin*
*see there is 3 node_modules folder*
Me: oh, okay sorry. Thats pretty normal.

Had to create this table tent because mfs just couldn't take a hint. I also have one for when I'm concentrating/deep in code zone.

Well played Google Assistant...

There's this guy that sits next to me in a class.

Guy: Hey, you're a hacker right?
Me: I'm a programmer.
Guy: Can you hack into my email account?
Me: Nope, I work in a different field of computer science.

In reality, I want to give him a piece of my mind.

I already know his email so I open up the login page and enter it. I click "forgot password", and it asks for his favorite teacher's name. Keep in mind that he made this account this year.

Me: So anyways, who's your favorite teacher?
Guy: *proceeds to give me favorite teacher's name*
Me: 🤦‍♂️

I change his password and log into his account. After that, I show him and tell him about how he should keep his account secure.

He left class with a priceless look on his face.

Website: "your ad blocker's on, consider adding us to your white list..."
Me: *inspect element*
Me: *Delete modal*
*Insert montage of me hacking into the mainframe for dramatic purposes*

I'm in. 😎

Little Hack
It annoys me whenever I encounter a website like quora which hides the real content with a overlay and a pop up to sign in. Little do they know I just delete the overlay element from the Dom 😁😁.
Who else does this?

Hack the planet using visual basic!

"So you're a coder?"
"Yeah"
"Can you hack the pentagon then"

🙃

This is how it looks like when a cat tries to hack a vending machine. 😂

Hello beautiful. Finally got fiber installed. For my girlfriend and me. Not that we really need it... But you know...

(Wifi reaches up to 170 on 5Ghz)

Hello World!
I found this when I investigating my old codes.

I found this while I was lazily internetting and my first thought was 'okay, that's most definitely a hack!'.

Someone has actually built a hack for all the world to see!

*sees a bug on unprofessional website*
Me: tell the admin
Me to me: hack it

"Github is Instagram for developers" -me

Probably the biggest one in my life.
TL:DR at the bottom

A client wanted to create an online retirement calculator, sounds easy enough , i said sure.

Few days later i get an email with an excel file saying the online version has to work exactly like this and they're on a tight deadline

Having a little experience with excel, i thought eh, what could possibly go wrong, if anything i can take off the calculations from the excel file

I WAS WRONG !!!
17 Sheets, Linking each other, Passing data to each sheet to make the calculation
( Sure they had lot of stuff to calculate, like age, gender, financial group etc etc )

First thing i said to my self was, WHAT THE FREAKING FUCK IS THIS ?, WHAT YEAR IS THIS ?

After messing with it for couple of hours just to get one calculation out of it, i gave up

Thought about making a mysql database with the cell data and making the calculations, but NOOOO.
Whoever made it decided to put each cell a excel calculation ( so even if i manage to get it into a database and recode all the calculations it would be wayyy pass the deadline )

Then i had an epiphany

"What if i could just parse the excel file and get the data ?"
Did a bit of research sure enough there's a php project
( But i think it was outdated and takes about 15-25 seconds to parse, and makes a copy of the original file )

But this seemed like the best option at the time.
So downloaded the library, finished the whole thing, wrote a cron job to delete temporary files, and added a loading spinner for that delay, so people know something is happening
( and had few days to spare )

Sent the demo link to client, they were very happy with it, cause it worked same as their cute little excel file and gave the same result,

It's been live on their website for almost a year now, lot of submissions, no complains
I was feeling bit guilty just after finishing it, cause i could've done better, but not anymore

Sorry for making it so long, to understand the whole thing, you need to know the full story

TL:DR - Replicated the functionality of a 17 sheet excel calculator in php hack-ishly.

My parents recently got divorced and sold their house, so I had to go through all my old stuff and found this beauty! A pair of new bateries and it still work! Fuck Yeah!

Solving a bug be like...

Going on a vacation, so notify all clients that I won't be available during two weeks.

Client: well we have this huge presentation and here's a list of stuff we absolutely need for it
Me: sure I have a look.
Me: holy shit dude! That's gona take about 2-3 days. I'm leaving soon!
Client: it's realy critical to have them in a week as it's a very important presentation! Is there any way you can make it work? If we can do anything to help, just name it.
Me: well I'll do my best (planed 1 day for such rhings)
Me: *pulling a 15h day*
Me: here, all done budy! Did a 15h but now it's done, so do that presentation!
Client: oh, nice, but it wasn't that urgent
Me: ...

Next day:
Client ssh in to the server, fucks shit up
Client: well I did a thing and now stage and prod is fucked, can you do anything?
Me: (knowing it will take 30min to fix) well... I try my best. Btw. I'll leave in a few hours and won't take my computer, so try not to fuck every thing again, okay?

*boots computer*
*login screen appears*
*enters password*
*windows says "Welcome"*
*You have entered wrong password*

Are you fucking serious? Can't you even handle simple login flow? Why the fuck you display welcome screen before validating my fucking password? What the FUCK

Always multiply your time estimate by Pi (an Irrational number). That way you're guaranteed your estimate will be irrational! (Just like the clients expection :P)

Me: *Playing around with bash on Windows*

Friend: Can you hack my Facebook account?

Me: I already did...

*moments of awkward silence*

Hack devRant, steal ownership

I get depressed during times like this.

Me: *does a keyboard shortcut*
Friend: Woaw, are you good on computers?
Me: yea.
Friend: CAN YOU HACK?
Me: yea...
Friend: WHATS MY PASSWORD?
Me: I don't know your password.
Friend: You can't hack then.

So I had my exams recently and I thought I'd post some of the most hacky shit I've done there over here. One thing to keep in mind, I'm a backender so I always have to hack my way around frontend!

- Had a user level authentication library which fucked up for some reason so I literally made an array with all pages and user levels allowed so I pretty much had a hardcoded user level authentication feature/function. Hey, it worked!

- CSS. Gave every page a hight of 110 percent because that made sure that you couldn't see part of the white background under the 'background' picture. Used !important about everywhere but it worked :P.

- Completey forgot (stress, time pressure etc) to make the user ID's auto incremented. 'Fixed' that by randomly generating a user id and really hoping during every registration that that user ID did not exist in the database already. Was dirty as fuck but hey it worked!

- My 'client' insisted on using Windows server.Although I wouldn't even mind using it for once, I'd never worked with it before so that would have been fucked for me. Next to that fact, you could hear swearing from about everyone who had to use Windows server in that room, even the die hard windows users rather had linux servers. So, I just told a lot of stuff about security, stability etc and actually making half of all that shit up and my client was like 'good idea, let's go for linux server then!'. Saved myself there big time.

- CHMOD'd everything 777. It just worked that way and I was in too much time pressure to spend time on that!

- Had to use VMWare instead of VirtulBox which always fucks up for me and this time it did again. Windows 10 enjoyed corrupting the virtual network adapters after every reboot of my host so I had to re-create the whole adapter about 20 times again (and removing it again) in order to get it to work. Even the administrator had no fucking clue why that was happening.

- Used project_1.0.zip etc for version control :P.

Yup, fun times!

Boss : "just" hack the google AdWords and show our company ad everywhere on google search"

"Don't you know that everything can be hacked?"

Me : "Ok, first let me ***k you."
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I mean "let me hack you"

Boss: Nice job with that bug, when the erp freezes magically start working after few seconds

try{
//Something
}catch(Exception $e){
system('sudo reboot');
}

Not sure what hapend... On my laptop running Ubuntu 17.10, I just got a notification:

Problem occured: "Ubuntu is ready"

Not sure what to do now... :P

Can you hack Facebook?

I hate how people think that to be a "hacker" or hacking is this special job title. lol. Hacking is just using something in a way in which it was not intended to be used.

So pretty much think ...anal sex.

There. Now many people are "hackers"

What are you talking about? I'm on test server... Oh fuck.

Life hack - Start watching YouTube videos at 1.5x.

Saves a lot of time.

Once you go 1.5x you can't go 1x

This...

"There is nothing more permanent than a temporary hack" - so true quote from the You Don't Know JavaScript book series

I'm all fucked up DevRant. I got some massive issues.

I have this idea I'm really proud of that I think can actually do something good for the world. (It is not another JS framework) But I have no time to do it. And when I do it, everything goes fucking haywire.

I take a photoshop class, and if you've ever taken a class where pretty much you just follow either a video or text tutorial word for word, congrats, you feel my boredom. While everyone seems to be struggling I fly right through and get everything done in a snap. So, once I've finished all the work she's given me for the week on, like, Monday, I sit down and take a crack at the code. I always have ideas twirling in my head on how to make it better, so I'll try and get it down.

"STOP HACKING!"

I'm sure everyone on DevRant has heard that one, but the teacher's voice just makes it worse. She actually threatened to get me suspended because I am "writing code which is a form of hacking". Yes, you read that right, and yes, it makes no sense.

Then I have Spanish. We had a project in the library and we had 3 days to finish it. I finished it in 15 minutes, and started to code. Teacher walks over, "you better not be hacking", and then walks away.

Twenty minutes later he comes back and plays twenty questions with my program. He's a nice dude and all, but really I just wanna get it done. He then gives me this speech on how I should sell it to make some money, in which I told him it was open-source and BSD'd (yes I had to explain both concepts to him.) He r e a l l y tried to talk me out of open-sourcing it and I just got irked, but was polite as I could. Then he gives me a speech on how my program could change the world. I was like "hey, maybe someone is realizing my program!"

Then he asked me to make a website for him.

For a grade.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

He then went out and told people about my "insane skills", in which people started thinking of me as hackers and asking me to hack shit, and I'm losing my mind. The teacher has been pestering me about this and I haven't been able to work on it because I'm swamped in homework. But when I'm not swamped, I'm stuck in my room. My parent's are like anti-technology people and are really pissed I became a programmer over a priest or a soldier, so they won't let me code at home, which means I have to code at school, which means I have to deal with the two above scenarios daily.

I'm almost out of the house, but not yet.

TL;DR: One teacher thinks I'm a hacker, another wants me to make a website for them, my parents hate programming, and I can never get shit done.

My Skype was hacked and spam links was sent to everyone.
I guess i deserved it since i haven't updated the password since i've signed up to skype 11 years ago.
Still very annoying.

no one can hack this site, its soooooo saaaaafe hahahaha

Can you hack Facebook?

I'm such a fucking moron! I had a programing test at university today, there where two excercises and two hours time. Finished the first one within 20min, but couldn't crack the second one. As time went by, I got more and more nervous. My hands started shaking. I couldn't think straight. I should just have steped outside, ask for a bathroom break, whatever. But no, I wanted to solve it!
Went home after the timelimit. Sat down, wrote the same thing I had in my head, compile, test and would have gotten all the points. I was able to do in 20min when relaxed, what I wasn't able in 1h 40min.
Fuck me.

This is called efficient solution...

Laptop battery hack.
9 more lipos for moi :D

A friend of mine once went into a library and opened a cmd on one of the computers, to run a little batch rename script on his usb stick. 5 minutes later he got kicked out because they though he was hacking the computer 😅

Friend: "You're a hacker, right?"

Me: "If you prefer to name it like that, yes"

Friend: "So... Could you hack a phone for me and get all images on it?"

Me: "Who are you again?"

This happened a few years ago:

Cousin: So one of my friends is going to teach me how to hack.
Me: Oh so you know something about programming?
Cousin: No, I'm going to learn how to hack first, because that's way more awesome.

It's not a dev quiting but my brother who worked in parcel delivery at that time.
He was hired on a temporary contract but promissed from the beginning and in every discussion they had, that he'll get a permanent position after 6 moth, if his work is good.

Fast forward 6 months. They had a meeting and told him how satisfied they where with his work so naturally he asked about the permanent contract. Fuckers acted suprise and shit. Claiming to never have said any of it. However as they are happy with him and so "generous", they offerd him another contract for 6 months and told him, they could talk about a permanent one after that period.

He kind of has a temprament, so he got up, fliped them the bird and called them lying assholes and went home. He didn't show for the time left on his contract.

The funny thing about it he worked for the swiss postal service (which is owned by the state) but not directly but through this.company providing temporary workers (which is cheaper for them as they get a shitty salary compared to a full time employee with all the benefits).

Wankers!

Nice thing though, the accounting department still sent him a christmas bonus (he quit somewhere around mai...)

Just got a call from an Indian scammer. He did the whole press Win + R shabang and I did what he said but the run box didn't appear (maybe cause I'm on a mac) I tried a few more times and then had a moment of enlightenment, I have a mac so that must be why the shortcut isn't working. He then goes on a rant saying everything is fine because he is the best technician and he can fix my mac too. He threatens to hack me and get my name and hack my computer but then goes straight back to his script and asks me to open my browser. I'm asked to go to a website which he mumbles so I don't understand and ask him to spell it for me. This of course is unacceptable and he goes no just type whatever you feel like typing, immediately changing his mind to xvideos.com instead. I say I can't visit the site since I am at work and he goes straight into trying to recruit me. Promises of infinite money and all I could ever wish for. Then he says I should work for him and he would pay me to watch porn which I politely decline. The final interaction was me letting him know I need to get back to work and to tell his call center buddies to never call me. He got super mad at me for accusing him of working at a call center whilst you can hear other calls in the background. 10/10 interaction.

Happy Birthday to @Michelle from your friends on devRant!

long && scam && rant?

At my parent's: phone rings..
Me: hi this is XYZ (in German)
He: hi this is ABC from Microsoft tecnical suport (strong Indian accent, sorry toall Indian devs who might feel offended, no intention)
Me: hi... (I'm learning for my exams and don't have a VM with Windows installed currently, so no time to "play")
He: we got some worrying data from your Windows computer. You might have a virus and we need to run a few tests to verfy it. Do you know what that is?
Me: yeah, a scam.
He: sorry, sir I didn't understand you, could you repeat?
Me: yeah, I know what " this" is. It's a scam, and we only deploy Linux here. (lie, we have Windows, Mac and Linux, as well as an iPhone, iPad and Android devices in the house, guess who is "support"...) But good luck with your next call.
He: (kind of friendly) oh. I see. Well have a nice day too.

One of the most asked question.

What people think of you when you say you are a programmer.

A job must be done every day

Instead use a cron job, junior dev has made a daemon:

while(true){
// Stuff
sleep(60*60*24);
}

Can we talk about this for a second? I mean WTF, how is Windows XP still a thing. Wasn't there a ransomeware attack recently, so every last sys admin should have some motivation to upgrade their shit?
Sure, I hear you say, it's just an information display. No critical stuff.
Well guess what, it was at an airport. Most likely not connected to any critical infrastructur, but still it's a computer, stuck at the boot screen at 11 a.m. running windows XP, connected to an airport network.
And I was standing there like: fuck me!

Cringe

EXCEL YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT! don't get me wrong, it's usefull and kt works, usually... Buckle up, your i for a ride. SO HERE WE FUCKING GO: TRANSLATED FORMULA NAMES? SUCKS BUT MANAGABLE. WHATS REALLY FUCKED UP IS HTHE GERMAN VERSION!
DID YOU HEAR ABOUT .csv? It stands for MOTHERFUCKING COMMA SEPERATED VALUES! GUESS WHAT SOME GENIUS AT MICROSOFT FIGURED? Hey guys let's use a FUCKING SEMICOLON INSTEAD OF A COMMA IN THE GERMAN VERSION! LET'S JUST FUCK EVERY ONE EXPORTING ANY DATA FROM ANY WEBSITE!

The workaround is to go to your computer settings, YOU CAN'T FUCKING ADJUST THIS IN EXCEL!, change the language of the OS to English, open the file and change it back to German. I mean, come on guys, what is this shit?

AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON ENCODING! äöü and that stuff usually works, but in Switzerland we also use French stuff, that then usually breaks the encoding for Excel if the OS language is set to German (both on Windows and Mac, at least they are consistent...)

To whoever approved, implemented or tested it: FUCK YOU, YOU STUPID SHITFUCK, with love: me

!rant

Moved in with my SO. No not Stack Overflow. Anyway. The hardest part about it is choosing a good Wifi name. We acctually need two names.

Go.

Edit: the perfect name would have a Star Wars reference in it.

Guys, please help me answer this intellectual being. The more stupid the answer, the better. Even better is if there is like a fake loooooonnnngggg step by step guide of it. NB: tafadhali == please.

That moment when your friends think that you're going to hack someone's account during a hackathon.😞

Client: But why is it so expensive to host a website? I mean you could host Wordpress on a cheap like 10$/month webspace, right?

Inner me: Bitch, you have a fucked up Symfony 2.1 website that only runs on PHP 5.3 plus a Wordpress site, with a lot of updates not done, plus you have a huge traffic at peak times, like once a week
Me: Well you know, the services you are running require a lot of resources...

Fuck you you fucking fuck, why would you change an api without any notification?

Background: built an app for a customer, it needs to fetch data frlman external api, and save it to a db.
Customer called: it's broken what did you do?!?
Me: I'll look into it.

Turned out the third party just changed their api... Guess I should implenent some kind of notification, if no messages come in for some time...

Finally got time to share my new laptop. I love its rgb backlight keyboard. I will buy a NVMe SSD and second monitor asap.

*Build project*
*Build failed*
- Arrrg! Lets try cleaning first.
*Clean project*
*Clean failed*
- ...
- What the FUCK! How does the clean fucking project fail?!? Just delete fucking output you pile of shit!

I... can't... fucking... stop... adding... new... features... to my... personal... projects... Help.

I think I've posted more this week on DevRant, than I have during the entire time I've had Facebook

!rant

Yesterday a friend of mine asked if I could help her with an assignment. The goal was writing shortest path agorithm in excel. I told her I don't know excel or VB but I will look into it. I didn't even know that we can code in excel 😅 After 1,5 hours of research and coding I writed a well documented code that does the job (with n^2 complexity of course). I feel VERY motivated after this. Because I did well job at an unexperienced environment with a language that I don't know!

Tldr: my new favorite ide is excel.

If someone asks me how to hack software, I answer:
'Well, basically it's just like searching for open doors of a unknown house you want to get in.' 😎
Usually the answer disappoints everyone. Then I add:
'Why so surprised? Would you leave your main door open, if you want to store something securely in your house?'
I love those disappointed faces from time to time. 😋

Job well done...

I am hired immediately after my internship!

Got my first paycheck as a student! That feels so good.

Saw a hack fix on a project with a comment from another Dev "Please don't fire me"

Rant: THAT FUCKING CREATIVE AGENCY, THAT USES A FUCKING HOSTING PROVIDER, THAT DOESN'T OFFER SSH! GUESS WHO'S CURRENTLY UPLOADING 4000 FILES? BEST OF ALL EVERY 200-ISCH FILES THE CONNECTION GET'S REFUSED, TELLING, THERE ARE TO MANY REQUESTS (FileZilla is set to max 2 simultanious uploads, still the same)

FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING FUCK OF A CRAPPY DEPLOYMENT PROCESS.

me: “Realistically, the only way to pull in this data without replicating and without an API feed is to scrape it from the site”

manager -> to the client: “basically he’s got to hack your system to do it”

Cs Student. We currently have a course on algorithms, where we have to implement something in Java, test it with some sample inputs and in the end submit it to an online judge, so far so good. So why a rant? Well there's this one person, who strugles with programing and asks me a lot of questions. Usually I tell her, could you send me your code, so I can have a look at what doesn't work/where you made a typo/what ever. My thoughts: let's just copy it my IDE, take a look at the error message, and that should do it.

Guess how I got the code: As a few photos, taken by her mobile phone (as the code doesn't fit on one screen...)! Just send me the fucking file, or post it to gist.github.com or pastie.org or what ever fucking code sharing tool you want! Make a fucking git repo, I'll even live with SVN or just a .txt file by mail. But for the love of Linus Torvalds, stop sending me crapy pictures of your crappy code! For fucks sake!

On my way home, just noticed, that the display in the train, is only sorting the connections in the trainstation by time, but not by date. (SBB in Switzerland, in case you're wondering)

Got the stickers! All the way from New York to Switzerland (:

Forgot my headphones today, had to listen to stupid people on the train and now can't concentrate while writing code! Fuck!

17 minutes without single break. That was longest nightmare for me. I had to write 6 lines of code... You know how that feels. My fingers were bleeding and my eyes were burning. Oh maan, I don't even want to remember that hard days.

Fuck you windows! We were watching a movie and windows accidentally restarted and started to update. I HATE YOU!

I should start learning hacking

Leave it?

When you fix your mates PC and upgrade windows on it and month later he comes back because his scanner is really slow, his wife doesn't understand English anymore and cat decided to leave his cat life to become full time florist at local bakery shop.

Mother fucking SQL, fuck mathematicians, fuck every thing!

So let's supose we'd only need the first char of a string. Every, and I mean fucking every (php, java, javascript, ruby, python, haskell) fucking language, uses something like `substring(input, 0, 1)` as it knows the input is nothing more than a fucking array of chars, otherwise known as motherfucking String. Logically the offset for the first char is 0.

Enter SQL, there you need to put `SUBSTRING(input, 1, 1)` because fuck every one! Fucking math guys who developed relational algebra on which (most) databases are based on (I love you for it, but come on you fuckers!), Decided that the first character should be at position 1...

Fuckers

Thanks to your tips guys, my job interview went butter smooth! Got some good feelings about it!

Windows logic:
* User disables notifications *
* Windows gives a notification about disabled notifications *
Fuck.

When you watch the new Jason Bourne and see people from CIA hacking a laptop from an Old cellular with a "shell code", or other people saying "use SQL to hack the database"

2007 - Hey you, can you hack my gf's facebook account?

2017 - Eh! Can you hack my boss's Bitcoin account? 50-50 deal :-)

*recieves notofication from tinder*
*"somebody likes you. Swipe to find who blah"*
*opens tinder*
*swipes everyone to right*
*no matches*

Fucking clickbait!

First Hackathon ends today. Long story short: I was the only programmer of the team, we only had 2 days to develop it (of which we spent the first day doing research, so 1 day of coding), so guess what it's shit.
I basically took a bootstrap theme, hardcoded some data. Put some js on top for interactions and a node js backend, to interface some APIs. Just by looking at the code you'll get cancer, but the others of the team where impressed, how good it looked an worked...

Let's hope the judges aren't familliar with coding as well (our challenge got two judges whereof one works at a bank as some guy whearing a suite and sponsoring stuff... Ao chances should be ok)

Honestly fuck this. Not one team (afaik) has pfoduced anything close to being finished...

I used !important in my CSS

Didn't had to fix anything (so far). But took my dev laptop to show all the projects I've been working on to the dad of my girlfriend and he showed me his projects.
He's not mainly a dev, but an electrical ingenieur. He designs his own pcb boards (with 8bit processors on them, as "that's more than enough power to do almost anything!") and then programs that stuff with basic (he writes his own firmware for it).
He also creates desktop application to get data off the devices using Delphi.

Love that guy and have a shittln of respect for him!

Got offered a project to develop e-commerce site. Bespoke. E-commerce. Sage pay. CMS. 4 days. When I said it's basically impossible, got told that the company was offered the same solution by an Indian developer but in 2 days, so it shouldn't be a problem to do it in 4.

"How to hack"

"Hey bro van you hack uber to get me free rides?"

Thanks everyone, another follow up:
After successfully securing the interview and going through it like a boss I'm starting my new job on Monday. Bless y'all

"So, you are using Linux. Can you hack wifi?"

Your favourite comment?

My team was working on a legacy system, one part of it is an assistant, sadly required as global variables.

Being a non-english-first-language company, some dev years ago thought shortening said assistant to "ass" would be a wise idea - less to type, right?

When we redid the application 2016 part-by-part, our code needed to define 3-4 global variables starting with the "ass" prefix for the legacy parts to work. The colleague who was tasked with this is a fine gentleman from England.

Later as I read through the commit, I found 5 lines of code following 20 lines of comments explaining and deeply apologizing for "ass", "ass_open", etc.

The same dev also had a "HACK OF THE YEAR" comment he moved around when time constraints made a less-than-optimal fix necessary which was worse than the last "highscore".

Local Hack Day!

Just deployed version 0.0.1 of my holiday project to production.

It's a pie "attached" to some speakers, mounted below the kitchen cubord. So far it only runs a spotify connect on it and you're able to play music there while cooking/cleaning.

I'd actually like it to also be able to just play regular music, either from a smartphone or a computer in the network. (It's connected by wifi to our lan). Any advice on what software I could install on it to achive that? i'd prefere to enable it for devices on the lan and have bluetouth dissabled, but I'm actually not sure if that is even possible. So yeah any advice to that? Or any other things you'd install on it?

I know, that I need to do some "cable management" back there :P

Am I the only one that loses some, if not all, motivation when they can't figure out a way of overcoming a problem that doesn't involve a nauseating hack?

Hackers are doers.

Biggest Coding distraction? Organizing an OpenAir music festival.

Master/Slave
Fuck you guys. Honestly most of the rants i've read concerning python and their abolishme t of sait terms where fucking butthurt. "What virgin suggested this", "people shouldn't be offended, it's just a name" and so on.

I do agree with every one saying a name shouldn't matter (readability is a different story! However parent/child or producer/consumer IMHO preserve that). So why are you fucking offended when it is changed to parent/child or produver/consumer? Does it affect you in any way? You know there's the `sed` command, plus IntelliJ (and most other IDEs) have a quite good support for renaming/refactoring stuff.

By reacting this way, by beeing offended all you do is proving the point. Words can offend people. I personally don't care how it's called. So far I always used master/slave and didn't think twice about it. But then again if someone of my coworkers or friends would feel threatened by these words, I try to avoid them. Naming diesn't matter to me, nor the compiler. So fuck, if it makes people happy or feeling save then lets change it.

What the fuck do you gain by sticking to those terms anyways?

I had an interview with a company that works offshore (works for a big silicon valley company) for an internship program. I liked their bosses vision and how he treats his coworkers. After 1 hour technical interview I asked how much they pay for internship and they told me they are not paying anything. And they said hey we are teaching you how things works. Wait... What? Atleast you can pay my transport and food fees. Fuck you and fuck your company. If you don't pay me a single fucking penny, I am not working with you. There is local laws to pay me some money. If you don't care about laws, I wont care about your fucking company. Burn in hell.

When my sister asks me to remove the datestamp fort her wordpress website ->
.datestamp{
display: none !important;
}

No, I cannot hack your nemesis Facebook account.

What the fuck Visual Studio? Last day my app was compiling succesfully. I DID NOT CHANGE ANY SINGLE FUCKING THING BEFORE I LEFT OFFICE. Today it refused to compile. It didn't even show the source of error, just says missing a reference.

- Clean solution, rebuild. Compile error
- Close VS re-open project. Compile error.
- Restart computer. Compile error.
- Close VS re-open project. Compile succesfully.
WHAT THE FUCK DID JUST HAPPEN? I could't believe it if it didn't happen to me. Is this shit compiling just by luck or what?

Where there's a problem, there's a hack

Stranger: So what do you do?
Me: I'm a web developer.
Stranger: ..can you hack my Facebook account?

Ouuu yesss.
I have ported init_sony and multirom.
But multirom install fucked up my init_sony kernel.
It didnt boot at all even kernel.
After discovering issue with friend we instead of fixing it( AdrianDC needs to fix that) we created a HUGE hack.
We took another library that unzips boot.img (Sony uses ELF image its different then AOSP type)
And implemented it into multirom installer.
Error.
So lets do it manually.
Success.
Shit it doesnt boot.
Ahhhhhhh.
So i added --forceelf option.
Didnt work.
So i just opened the file studied it and then HARDCODED the ELF value into type right before the image is created.
Flash it.
Real success.
Not only it worked but me and my friend created a fucking huge hack around entire multirom which is even bigger hack on its self.

I can call this productive day.
Tomorrow: Asking AdrianDC to help me on this since he edited bbootimage.

Who remembers winamp? Well... We still use it in our bar once a year

Backstory: I help to organize a small openair festival once a year and to finance that we run (amongst other things) a bar once a year.

Music is still supplied by good old winamp! The nostalgia is strong.

Rant: Wifi in Italian AirBnB, They use 3 wifi repeater to get internet from one house to the next, I guess you can imagine the speed

So, a friend of mine just got a NullPointerException from his shitty Java code, and decided to fix the problem by catching the exception.
Great fix bro, real smooth..

!dev && rant

Can we talk about banks? Those fuckers! Suposed to keep our money save and be competent... They today gave me the biggest scare of my live and I've run one an update query on a prod db without a where clause! (Okay I knew we had a backup but still pretty scarry moment!)

As a few know, besides being a dev I help to organize a small openair music festival here in Switzerland. The openair was this weekend. Every thing wen't well, until I checked our ebanking account today. There was only 2/3 of the money that should be there. A quick call to the bank and they told me, nope they never received it. As we've thrown it in a secure locker during the night, we didn't receive any receipt or something like that. It took those fuckers 3.5 hours to actually go and check the looker, just to find the remaining money in the corner of it. What the fuck people, can't you open your fucking eyes and not give me a fucking heartatack? I thought you guys are professionals!

Note locker: we get a key to open it from the outside, place our payment during the night, as soon as we close it, it falls inside a vault, so there it's a pay in only system, for lack of a better word, I called it locker.

My heart is still beating like mad, because of them.

#feature
On the 9Gag Android app, you can "scroll" up and down by using the volume up/down, if the music isn't playing. (I think you have to enable this in the setings).

I find this quite convinient, and would love to this here too.

@dfox and @trogus

As the news that hackers have kept new "pirates of the Caribbean" on hold, this kind of comment reassures the trust or acts as reverse psychology to pay up.
Any ways they have got better customer service than any other big corporates

Any alternative to Googles reCAPTCHA?

Backstory we have a contact form, in a bootstrap modal, loading the form as an ajax request. The form has (as of today) a captcha, as we where getting a lot of spam.

Guess what it does on safari? Right... It renders outside the modal and since there's no need for scrolling, bootstraps modal adds an overflow hidden to the body. Results in non submitable forms on some resolutions.

Any idea on how to fix this, or other captcha systems we could use (it's a Symfony app).

Today a 15 years old guy asked me how to hack a Fb profile...

Happy first of may, happy international worker fight day to all the devs out there. Unighted we stand, duvided we fall

Customized CPU... ;)

Rant
I'm a CS student at a university in the global top 10. We currently have two courses using Java, where we have to submit our work to a judge program. One of them is running Java 7. the second one Java 6! Come on, what year is it? Just update your fucking software and the assignments, you lazy fucks!

First rant. Am I doing this right?

Bonjour Paris

I've learnt that you should always make descriptive comments in your code to explain it.

Start it earlier.

What's the most complex programming task you ever had to solve? Or: A "hack"* of a framework/API you came up with to make something work?

*undocumented or unintended use

A colleague had to show up for a demo in 10 minutes, and urgently needed to fix some CSS.

I told her the right way would take more than 10 minutes. The quick and dirty way was to add an `!important`.

I made her write a comment:
`// TODO: Fix this hack made for the demo dated blah blah`

My power switch stopped working, so I took this up as a quick early morning project.

There is always a fucking way!

When You Learn HTML And You Think You Can Hack NASA

What the fuck! Just witnesed this at university. The guy in question is in the same cs course as me. Using edge, okay. But searching for a picture on google (a icon in that case), copy it to memory, open powerpoint, paste it, manipulate the color aellsettings to make it gray and then save it from powerpoint? That's not how you fucking do it! Fucker!

My productivity hack? I code in the shower and use a water whiteboard. I have to be up very early and feel the most clear headed right when I wake up.

If I'm stumped on something, I can usually tackle it from a new perspective. For the most part it works out. Other then the occasional profanity if I accidentally erase something and the sometimes longer than usual showers, my wife doesn't mind. Usually because it's 5 in the morning and when she takes a shower there is this scribble that she tries to decode!

!dev && !rant

@dfox and @trogus my so was like, wait... Is this like a thing to complain? That's awesome!
Wait let me guess it's for developers only, right? Why can't we normal people have this? :O

<rant>So I'm new to the having-meetings-every-waking-moment-of-the-day thing... Just wondering if anyone is supposed to get anything done??
Or are we supposed to gather more and more work to do during each meeting?
The only times I've been able to do work is when I can mute the mic or say I'm in a "lunch meeting"!!
Does this happen to everybody???
</rant>

Studying on computer science has its cons mainly when every other student thinks we can hack Facebook and wifi. Computer science==hacking.

Looks like a standard DOS Injection-In-The-Middle type of attack.

Where to look for an UI/UX person?

Backstory: I currently work at a small startup. So far our website is just a bootstrap theme, slaped together by myself, so you could say, it's far from optimal. Especially on mobile devices.

Where would you guys look for a UI/UX person? Probably on a freelance basis. Did you have good expiriences in the past with a particular site/service?

Who do we blame?? Ha ha ha ha ha

Joy is when you learn that long press on microphone button on your earphone changes the track..
No more need to Everytime unlock the phone to change the track..

!rant this is just a shoutout, how fucking happy I am. Clean code valued over fast but hacky push of features!

Backstory. I work for a startup. Long story short a guy with an idea needed a developer. I've worked for about a year without pay but now since we're live I get paid. Recently a new field of bussiness came up. I told tge guy with the idea (a.k.a. my boss) that we either could just "hack" the current code to just make it "fit" well kind of... Or refactor our main code base, as requirements where changing at least monthly and we just built on top of the monolith.
Don't get me wrong. It still isn't perfect. However I was able to refactor the main business logic for the last few days, as he understood, it's an investment into the future.
Good guy!

P.S. On another note: happiness or happyness? :O

It's almost 4 on a Friday and my coworker just left early. The only thing before leaving was to tell my boss about a problem in production...
Leaving me to fix it...
"Hey, I just heard about a problem in production. Can you fix it before you go?"
Not cool dude... Not cool.

I have to confess something... As you all know the new GDPR law is right around the corner and I am a web developer. That means we had to update all our websites so they comply with the new law. On one website (which was quite old) I had to add a link to the privacy page in the footer. Which doesn't sound too bad but... there was no include file for the footer and I there were a lot of sites I would have to edit. So I did my first ever hack...

I added a js script in the headscripts include which was on every site and it looked for the imprint link. If it found the imprint link it placed the privacy link right next to it. This was the hackiest thing I ever did.

I am truly sorry....

It's a matter of time because recruiters will find out about devrant.

Hacking is awesome and looks easy!!! And seems like even pentagon might have toooons of exploits and backdoors, and qwerty passwords !!
After watching Mr. Robot...

Home hack
Made a stylus with Reynolds butterflow and ear bud.
Just have to slightly moisten the ear bud.
And have to maintain contact with the silver part of the nib cover.

Client just asked why no progress has been made this week and refuses to accept it is a result of them not answering my emails or providing content. I made a DevRant while I wait for a response!
I guess it wasn't as URGENT as the subject line suggested...

A friend of mine wants to start learn HTML/CSS/JS and ask me where to start.
Since I started to write them more than 10 years ago, I have no clue where to start, what good ressources are today and so on.

Therefore: what would you recommend, I recommend her?

I read this quote from my favorite movie
"The Shawshank redemption"

I've seen a lot of hate to Macbooks and Apple products in general, and although I agree that iphone could be dramatically improved in terms of hardware I think that OSX is the best platform to do Web development.
Which one would you pick and why? Windows, OSX or Linux.

Sorry I'm on my computer during the meeting but I can multitask I swear!

(I can definitely write code and troubleshoot with other devs on Skype, while you're talking)
I never said I was listening to you though! Lol!

Entered into my friends phone using safe mode to unlock his phone.(he usually trusts 3rd party app lockers)

So I just realised that one of the old GUI used in our old machine that has generated billions of dollars is just a massive popup :/

Talking about hacks...

My hacktoberfest t-shirt was delivered yesterday and so I wore it today.

People asked me if it had something to do with minced meat because of the German word 'hackfleisch'.

Normal people: "It was a beautiful day today!"
Programmers: "My desktop wallpaper rotates through several beautiful days."

That feeling when you've been programming, scripting and developing games, software and web pages for nearly a decade and you still feel like a talentless hack that doesn't deserve the wages you are paid, and constantly fear being exposed as a fraud by your peers... :x

WTF?!? so apparently I guy I know, knows the guy who built dodeley.com (don't get me started on the name!)

Oh boy... Where should I begin? So besides the fact that I'm pretty sure these newsletters will be classified as spam (aites like mailchimp and so on actually pay large mail providers not to classify them as spam, I doubt they do...), their so called "widget" is just a form, sent to their domain using GET, FUCKING GET, NOT POST, GET!!! The request looks something like "dodeley.com/?action=subscribe&id=xxx&field1=xxx&..." I mean like, WTF? Oh and their solution to not leave the page is simply to add a target="_blank" to the form, that you have to include on your site.

Did I mention, that the form id is static? Did I mention, that there's no validation on what you enter?

Who the fuck programmed this shit? Honestly!

Seeing Mark Zuckerberg multibillionarie. I am poor af (Still student btw). Also looking Linux kernel at GitHub.

Do you remember how they say, you won't notice how much you miss something, until it's gone? Well this Island (Guadeloupe) is as beautiful as it can be! However the internet connection sucks. Big time!

Plus the humidity killed my laptop (or at least part of the keyboard including the keys I need for the partition unlock, which means no laptop until I'm home and replaced the keyboard.

I didn't bring it for work but to be able to look up stuff, maybee write some (non dev) stuff and such...

But to be honest since this vacation is so relaxing, I'm not even really mad. Strange.

Work expands so as to fill the available time. That's Parkinson's Law.

Or in other words: The amount of time that one has to perform a task is the amount of time it will take to complete the task

So, if you have a deadline, wait until the correct time and then start working. This helps a lot in terms of not over-doing things and will save precious man-hours.

The algorithm strikes again

Found this comment in a class I visited today after a few months of writing it.

//todo: Fix this fucking POS hack

I have no idea what POS refers to anymore. FML.

Fucking finaly I'm back on devRant after my phone decided to die during the weekend. But why the fuck do I get a light theme again? @dfox, could you save the preferences in the profile? Or at least display the options on first start? :*

If I'm able to DevRant (as a verb, yes) through an entire meeting... I feel as though I shouldn't be in the meeting?

!dev && rant
Any stargate fans on here? Can we talk like one minute about stargate origins? It's like. I mean. Fuck. Is it really that bad or am I missing a huge part?

FUCK YOU NODE JS AND FUCL YOU SYNOLOGY

Decided to give an old Synology DiskStation that sits at home slme new life besides just sharing files. Since Synology has SSH but not a full Linux OS, installed DebianChroot (so far so good). At one point I needed Node JS, so installed NVM and tried to install Node. Well guess what didn't work. Tried a few more things including directly downlosding node from the official node website. Trying different versions, the whole drill.

After about 5 hours of installing and errors, well really usfull errors like "There where 2 errors during installation" WELL HOW ABOUT YOU FUCKING TELL ME WHAT THE ERROR IS YOU FUCKING FUCK!

I found a formum wkith a guy haveing similar problems. Able to install legacy 0.10.x versions but not 4.x.x. Or 6.x.x oder whatever. He found that you have to have at least an ARMv6 compatible processor, otherwise it won't run. Checked it and well, that old fuck of mine only has ARMv5. FUCK! But honestly. You detect it's an ARM architecture. You detect it's not one of the v6 or v7, you try to install the general arm version, BUT YOU DON'T GET THE FUCKING IDEA TO MENTION TO CHECK WAHAT VERSION YOU HAVE AND IF THAT IS SUPORTED BY FUCKING NODE!

One afternoon wasted, at least I got a little more wisdom. Fuck do I hate Node now. On the bright side, I've ordered a Raspberry Pi and two cases for Harddisks, I'll create my own diskstation with blackjack and hookers (I realy hope you get that reference)! Fuck you Synology and Node JS (yeah yeah, it's not Synologies fault, but I'm mad anyways!)

I'm not allowed to talk about the coolest things I've done :(
NDAs always ruin the fun!
But I can tell you that they were freakin awesome. I'll come back to this in a bunch of years :)
Just know it was awesome!

A fellow student just showed me his fancy GET request "workaround"...

i was just like: "i'm so gonna POST this on devrant"

Going through a startup code
...
// TODO: implement!
...
// FIXME: this is so messed up
...
...
// HACK: works for now, find a better way
...
// HACK: hardcoded for now
...
// FIXME: this doesn't work, crash here
...
...
// TODO: this probably should be a separate class
...
// TODO: change messed up variable names
...
// FIXME: WTF is this, Dave?!
...
...
// TODO: remove this before release

I'm visiting st. Petersburg in russia. Any devRanters living there? Or can anyone reccomend stuff?

Been a freelancing for quite a while now and forgot what's it's like to work in a company. Have you got any tips that I could benefit from? Got an interview coming up this week and want to impress them. BTW I'm a Web developer.