Me: Hey, guys, this stuff is seriously flammable. Like, I’m surprised it hasn’t caught fire yet. I really want to clean it up. Here’s how I’d make it better.

Management: No. It’s fine, it works. Don’t touch it. It’s getting replaced anyway. Just add the things on top like we asked you to, and call it a day.

Me: Are you sure? This is seriously going to be a problem.

Management: We just said it’s getting replaced. Don’t. touch. anything. OK?

Me: alright.

… Eight weeks later …

Management: so this thing caught fire over the weekend, and the fire spread to other areas. We’re doing some emergency cleanup. The new guy looked at it and figured out why, and has some great ideas on fixing it, so give him some well-deserved praise!

Me: Hey! I told you about this months ago!

Management: Yes. I tuned out during today’s firefighting meetings. But it’s important to strike a balance in everyone’s style. Do you have any other concerns?

C coders trying to hang out with normie

......

My daily standup currently is an hour long debugging session what happened to our servers... Idk why I'm even present since I'm just a frontend dev that does 0 work on this product.

Open letter to any website that is trying to implement "smooth scrolling" on their website using JavaScript: stop, consider how awful it is 100% of the time, and kill yourself please.

I did it.

I finally fucked prod.

And had to do open heart surgery on the service to get it unfucked.

Shit happens. Luckily its internal prod only...

Anyone got a funny derogatory term for someone that is an AI fanboy a bit too much

Priorities.

I know I rag on Javascript, but this is actually how I see it. It always did what I needed, but I am not enamored nor dismayed by it. I think the technology behind it is pretty cool too.

No one fucking knows how to handle/raise errors.

I feel like this is the least talked topic in all fucking programming industry. This shit needs to be tought even more than the fucking SOLID, DRY, KISS, YAGNI and other kinds of buzzwords that fancy devs love tossing left and right.

Basically everyone just does "whatever you dumb error just dont bother me". They will just log/return null/ignore the errors and be in their oblivion with bugs propagating upstream the call stack.

"Throwing errors you say? Ew, why do you want to produce more errors?". Yeah, right, just stick another log/return null/or ignore the fact that the monke calling your function with bullshit arguments.

"But bro it's so difficult and time consuming and it would never happen!" Yes, you fucker! Yes! Programming IS fucking difficult if you want reliable systems! Did you not know that!? Well now you do! Go and fucking learn it!

FUCK!11!1!!

Is it OK to lie to recruiters about your current salary to get a bigger increase if applying for jobs?

One of them told me I should lower my preferred salary (even though I've done research on the market) because it is more than the norm of a 10% increase.

I want to earn what I deserve, not what some titface recruiter dictates.

I kinda want to quit programming and restore vintage bicycles instead.

No raise. Not like I single handedly rewrote one of our weirdest and most complex legacy code bases or anything... Oh and even so they whined about how long that took that's probably reason they'll cite if I ask about this lack of raise thing.

I mean, technically I got a little more just because the tax rates are different for the new financial year but come on

Week : 50

How is the weekend going?

Which is your favorite color? Why?

Previous Week : https://devrant.com/rants/10940947

came into my house at 3:00 am (i was fucking my whore ex blonde gf). saw a fucking thief break into my house and steal my shit. when he saw me he ran like the biggest fucking pussy. i was screaming and chasing the fucker. but he jumped over the fence like an asshole and broke his back. but got up and ran away

i couldnt identify him. couldn't see his face cause he was turned around and wearing a black cap. black sports clothes. short fade hair or bald. probably a fucking skinhead robbing people to buy drugs

he stole my dad's phone, his wireless earbuds, mom's medical documents and fucking cups! who the fuck steals cups??? what a fucking retard!

he couldn't steal more cause it seems like i entered the house minutes after he broke in

why some bulLshit always happens to me

I've decided that today will not be a productive work day.

Every layout goal must take hours of frustrating intuition-destroying trial and error, followed by documentation cross-examination, MRE building, upstream bug-filing, and workaround pursuits.

https://jsfiddle.net/uz5dr8h4/21/

But no, CSS doesn't suck, you're just bad at it.

two unread emails:
- from HR: please fill out our anonymous survey
- from Boss: don't forget about the survey, HR said you are the last one from our team

Throw it in the trash

Solved a major scalability issue today.
I'm starting to think I might actually be as good as what I told the recruiters I was.

This hadoop-ecosystem job used to take about 2h40min and cost about USD 1.00/GB.
Now it takes 36 mins. At about 0.85/GB.
Fixed some over shuffling, restructured some bottleneck serial stages, used lots of weird words.
Folks in this company I just entered were struggling with this formerly unwieldy process for a year.
Now it's nimble enough to run every hour.

Maybe that whole "experience" thing people were always yammering about wasn't completely bullshit.

How was the weekend?

What's one thing you are doing wrong, that you know you are doing wrong, that you could fix, that you would fix?

Previous Week : https://devrant.com/rants/10696745

Hey guys, Been a while...
Quick status update
Moved out of my parent's house
Now a lead backend engineer at a crypto exchange.
Getting offers from startups without even applying, just referrals
Still underpaid by global standards but very comfortable locally.

1year+ of financial stability

Lots of motivation from the lovely people here when I started out, I'm grateful

How is the weekend going?

What would you like to do when it is raining?

Last week, I bought random things he used to like and put in a box and gave it to him as a gift.

Previous Week : https://devrant.com/rants/10671972

No fuck off we don't need a team meeting about it.

We shouldn't need to go in front of a panel to begin with, let us get on with our job and let us automate the shit so sprint planning wouldn't be so difficult

FUCK IT ALLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One of my favorite old jokes:
If you wish to know who rules you, seek those whom you're not allowed to criticize… We should rise up against children with leukemia!

Today I have no meetings! 🎉🍾

Probably gonna quit dev and get a job outdoors. Dev sucks dick, is too boring, and it is too political for me

Hey guys, you won't believe what happaned to me, I left my laptop open in a hacker coffee shop and went to take a piss, and when I returned I fou d out that someone stole all my crypto CockRingCoin 😭😭 I lost a million and a half Shekels but then remembered my brother has a cousin who knows a lawyer who's wife is a friend with a wolf who knows a real matrix hacker who can hack CIA using only his toes, I contacted him and you wouldn't believe it but he got all of my cock coins back to me, I don't know what I would've done without him. If anybody needs help recovering crypto I can more than reccomend my dear holy saviour LeHackerCockSucker
WhatsApp: +972-50-EATMYASS-0
Email: ciahacker@cock.gov

But then as I was happily looking at my crypto returned I notice a few payments I don't rwmember making, turns out, my wife was cheating on me! And using my crypto to buy her lover stuff!
So I contacted the afformentioned lawyer who's a friend of the cousin that my brother has, and he helped me file for divorce and punish my cheating wife, for anybody needing a marriage lawyer:
WhatsApp: +972-54-DeliciousPussy-6
Email: eatmypussy@lawyers.porn

I am now happily married with the wolf who's the friend of the lawyer's wife and he fucks me in the ass every night. If you want a good life like mine you know who to call.

python devs are not devs

why do you need numpy and 30 other packages to change some lights on a keyboard

and then the kicker is that it doesn't even work, because it can't find a daemon I guess

this is so fragile
so ridiculous
every time, these math people