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Fuck today was weird.
Today I received almost half a million on my bank account. 😯
Someone changed the ancient cryptic billing system. My user account at work has id 32 in the database, and the dev referenced the size of the creditor id instead of the of the value of the ids itself, and they're u32 ints... So ALL the money moving through our platform was accidentally transferred to my associated bank account.
For all the unit tests we have, this bug tumbled right through.
And no one at finances thought a transfer that big, to a backend dev they know by name, was suspicious — with almost no money going to other creditors...
That worries me a bit. The fact that this shit can happen, even at high test coverage, just because someone mindlessly did a wrong autocomplete or something.
Of course I will send it back... after two weeks and a few hundred € of interest.13 -
> finds awesome software
> finishes trial period
> looks at pricing
> looks at bank account
> cries in a corner21 -
I'm 22 and professional COBOL developer working for a bank, would love to move but money is good.
33 -
I recently won a "Hack the Bank" competition where I had to hack an ATM and withdraw a large sum of money.
But what's funny, is that after the competition ended, the organizers installed Kali on the actual ATM.
20 -
Coworker: Can you create program for me?
Me: What this "program" going to do?
Coworker: Hack bank network and send me money. Can you make it for Android?
😆😆😆7 -
"It must work in IE6, we still use it in our offices."
While developing a JavaScript web app for a bank with 10 000+ employees. In 2014.9 -
This month's expenses:
- Computer parts to build a new computer.
- Separate video card.
- Hex monitor stand.
- 6 (second hand) monitors
I'm so sorry for my bank account 😥30 -
Fucking Axis Bank ATM
Card swipe
--> Slow GIF
--> Select your transaction
--> Slow GIF
--> Select your account type
--> Slow GIF
--> Enter your amount
--> Slow GIF
--> Enter your pin
--> Slow GIF
--> Slow GIF
--> Slow GIF
--> Unable to dispense money12 -
On the first class of cryptography professor says, "Hackers are people who dropped out of school, didn't obey their parents and turned to drugs and alcohol and steal money from people by hacking their facebook."
Then goes on to say, "People tend to keep their birthdate as their debit card's PIN so hacker checks their facebook account, finds their birthdate and goes to ATM machine and hacks their bank account."
I was speechless.7 -
You want to know what fucking pisses me off? This fucking router thinking it can just inject itselft and redirect into any fucking page that it wants..my fucking bank account? Yep, my fucking google docs? YEP, Fucking CSGO? YOU BET BRO
23 -
I was trying to get some cash from an ATM. Instead of vending bank notes as it should, this happened...
I still need that cash...
12 -
My dev superpower would be the power to magically refill anything.
Out of hot coffee? Refill your thermos!
Bank account running low? Refill with money!
Battery empty? Refill with charge!
Going bald like me? Refill your head with hair!
Bed empty? Refill with beautiful women!
Clients / managers annoying you? Refill their bladders!
The possibilites are limitless!7 -
1. Unlimited money on bank account
2. Give me master degree
3. Disable remote desktop as “secure environment” at my workplace24 -
I literally cringed today when my neighbor wanted help installing an app, she didn't tell me it was her banking app... And the thing I needed to help with was logging in... So she told me her bank details...
Even though I said (multiple times) it was dangerous to do so, and that she can't just trust people with this kind of information...
WHY ARE PEOPLE SO GOD DAMN STUPID WHEN IT COMES TO SECURITY!9 -
Oh boy...
So my mom just responded to an email saying her email account would be deleted if she didn't respond to it by typing in her email address...
And the password to that email address, her SSN, and her bank account number. Now I have to fix it. For crying out loud...4 -
Best and worst customer I've had: A bank.
Great because they had so much money for projects.
Unbearable because everything needed to work in IE6.6 -
From the director of the department within a large investment bank: "We will be looking into converting all Java code to Cobol because it is easier to work with".
Needless to say I started looking for a new job that night.6 -
Didnt expect a reputable bank to do testing in this manner. Damn you Axis Bank, your system is supposed to be the best. Smh. 😩
1 -
Me: So what you are doing in the IT field?
Him: I am hacking bank websites.
Me: OK, that's cool. It is good in free time. What is your actual job?
Him: I am seriously hacking the bank Web site!
Me: Trust me, if you seriously doing that you will never ever mentioned it...
Him: No, I am doing it legally... The bank hiring me to try to hack the website...
Me: OK, you mean that you are cyber security tester?
Him: That is almost the same...
Me: So you are tester?
Him: I am hacking bank's websites...
Me:....7 -
My summer internship adventures
Cunt Boss: you will receive salary and a bonus at the end of the project
Me: *works for 3 months*
Cunt Boss: *sends 60 fucking euros to my bank account*
Me: is that just the bonus?
Cunt Boss: oh I'm sorry, we have some financial troubles here and that's all I can give you
Thanks! Now I can buy you a dildo so you can go fuck yourself11 -
I always feel awkward asking for large quantities of $1s from the bank. I'm addicted to the snack machine, not strippers!11
-
Presenting the inside of Xiaomi 5200 mAh power bank!
P.S. I tried Snapseed for photo editing and it's really nice ☺
6 -
A major bank had a bug in their system that triggered multiple postings of transactions in all of their clients' accounts. When they found out the root cause, they just had to mention that the programmer was a female. Like that was any bearing to the problem. It's not like they have like a whole fucking team of QA testers that should have checked that shit before it went to production.14
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You're a flippin bank, and your public website has an invalid cert!? WTF. No, I'm done, and I don't trust you with my money either.
10 -
Namecheap: *cricket noises for over a year*
Today: "hEy ThErE cOnDoR, yOuR dOmAiN WiL eXPirE iN 24 hOuRs!1! rEnEw NoW, yOU rEadY?"
Me: "No you motherfucking bastards, a bank transfer takes 3 days at least. Oh wait you don't even accept bank transfer, how convenient!"
And what if I didn't see that email right after your fucking craptacular automated notification system sent it to me, hmm? Don't you Namecheap of all companies know how fucking *vile* domain squatting on the .com is?!!
MOTHERFUCKING CUNTS!!! Jeopardize my domains like that *one more fucking time*, and guess who will be taking his assets to the sexist bastards that I tried avoiding for so long, GoDaddy! FUCKERS!!!23 -
Everybody is talking about react, angular, Vue etc, and here I am, fixing ie7-8 website compatibility for a financial-bank institution.10
-
My dad got a job at TD (bank)
We where talking about their computers and stuff. Then we started talking about passwords.
Keeping in mind that this is a bank....
Here is their password rule:
6-12 char long
All lower case
Only letters and numbers
(Passwords are stored on a legacy system)
Why?
Why should I trust that bank??
And also.. how do they expect to be extremely secure??10 -
Honestly? People. For the first two years of my career I worked for an investment bank.. Basically working to make rich people richer. That, plus the technology sucked, made me change what I do.
I now work for a company that, while it doesn't cure cancer, it makes products that my friends use, my family uses, even my 1 year old son uses. And knowing I am making a difference in their life in even just a little way is worth it.
Also now that I have a family and a kid, my priorities have shifted and as much as I love coding, my family and kid will always come first now. Could I be making more at an investment bank where I worked 12 hour shifts every day? Sure. But it's not worth it to me.3 -
Its amazing walking to a big bank building which you networked and you know where each cable passes to and you remember where you took shortcuts
-
I've secured my first software developer job at a large bank in the UK after doing Java Developer training for the last 3 months. I'm so happy!2
-
Guy I just met: so what do you do?
Me: I'm a developer
Guy: no way! I work for a software company so... (goes on to talk for 10 minutes trying to show off his knowledge of software)
Me: so what do you do there?
Guy: sales
Me: oh...
Just because you work for a software company does not mean you know shit about software. Don't try to build some erroneous common ground with me because you walked by a developer's desk one time, looked at his or her screen, and magically thought you could understand code.18 -
If someone wants to violate my Facebook account he needs my password, the key I receive in my phone, and to know all the faces in my friendlist.
If someone wants to violate my bank account and spend all my money, he needs my password.9 -
Did you hear of the story of the fucked up data migration at the british bank TSB? People can't access their money for a week now. And people see the accounts of other bank custumers. The CEO had to call IBM for help.
https://theguardian.com/business/...3 -
At work for a bank, I changed the target SQL Server in my SSIS project and arbitrarily, all my custom-coded scripts were erased!!
I didn't take backups and I spent a week coding them! Fuuuuuuuuuckkkkk 😠
Ended up rewriting them.
I learned my lesson... 😥2 -
Any Rick & Morty's fans in here? These are my new stickers for my power bank.
(Sorry for the shitty quality my camera lens is broken)
9 -
You run a bank with over 10million customers and can't handle a nullpointerexception error.And java ssly.
19 -
Switched banks, got new e-banking, unable to set up a new password.
It contains invalid characters.
IT'S A FUCKING BANK ACCOUNT I SHOULD BE ABLE TO USE HASHTAGS OR EVEN HAVE FUCKING SPACES IN IT IF I FEEL LIKE IT.7 -
Just found this little gem when I ducked RBL.. must be a super high quality bank with that meta description :3
2 -
Supervisor: so you're going to write a perl script that will compile a jar that will be used to invoke a web service
Me: okay. What does the web service do?...
Supervisor: I'm not sure how it works. It'll just return a success or error code
Me: so I'm just going to invoke a black box?
Supervisor: that's a good way to think of it
Me: so how does the qa process work with this black box/how can we debug?
Supervisor: we don't have qa for it and we can't debug
What the fuck?!?!? You expect me to call a literal fucking black fucking box?!?! This isn't lambda calc you jabroni.2 -
CAN YOU PLEASE UPDATE TO 2018!!!
My bank just sent me a message, that they have a new service where you can send a private message to your banker.
I needed to transfer money, and didn't have my cheque book on me, so I sent him a message to please transfer XX dollars to account YY.
His response?
Please send us a fax.
A FAX?? ARE YOU SERIOUS??
And that is supposed to be more secure than a private message from your website, after you force me to change my password every 90 days with crazy requirements that only satisfy hackers???
I told my friend that he will get his money when the bank updates the century they live in ...13 -
Taxi driver: "So what course you studying?"
Me: "Software Engineering"
Taxi driver: "Oh, so you know how to hack Facebook and people's bank accounts?"
Me: *facepalm*5 -
Client: I can't login with my lastpass
Me: Oh, why not, how are you trying?
Client: So, I've entered my lastpass password into my bank account, and it says 'wrong login credentials'
Me: °-°17 -
Worst security issue : being able to make a money transfer with no auth and changing freely the bank account in the POST params...
Dev excuse : "I didn't know my job was also to take care about security."2 -
You fucking son of a bitch!
First you make me do a project in two fucking months, and that's a fucking job-load for only one dev to deliver a SPA with payments and whatsoever.
Then you pushed me to accelerate deployment date and there I am, getting tired and using time I don't have.
But oh no, you prick, that wasn't enough, you had to do just one thing. YOU HAD TO DO ONE FUCKING THING!
What's that? Oh, sorry, I thought I overheard that you wanted to accept online payments but YOU'RE NOT FUCKING SIGNED UP, YOUR BUSSINESS IS NOT LEGAL UNTIL YOU REGISTER IT.
Motherfucker, I can't do anything, you better fucking register your bussiness if you want this to work the way it's supposed to do. -
I got selected for a dev job at a bank and I received a form on email to fill up and come with the hard copy to do the documentation etc.
HR girl: I can't understand what you wrote in the form.
Me: Yeah, I don't usually write things these days with a pen.
HR: So when was the last time you actually wrote anything.
Me: I think it was at a bank. I filled a form.
HR: Nice one!
Me: Oh!5 -
Finally got access to repo in my new work place (bank). Now I'm considering keeping my money buried somewhere instead of using bank accounts...5
-
Average Joe:
1.searches how to save money for child college education.
2. Creates a bank account and starts to save , small amount of money from his income.
3. After 18 years, after all the hardwork finally pays the tuition fees to his child.
Dev:
1. Creates a website"Child Savings 101"
2. Monetize it
3. After 18 years, pays the tuition fees.2 -
I am beyond speechless. My Bank forces me to use a password that consists of EXACTLY 8 characters, and at least one small character, one big and one number. Oh, and it should not be identical to the last 5 passwords.
What's the best part about this?
THEY HAVE A FUCKING METER TO MEASURE YOUR PASSWORD STRENGTH. FUCKING HYPOCRITES!
Not even a 2 factor makes via sms can make me feel save when you have such a big pile of shit behind it13 -
I used to work for a Mexican bank in Mexico, as a developer I opened (and use) an account, since the bank was not famous(most of its business was with the government), going to the bank and see no waiting lines was an advantage, so I started using it as my only bank account even nowadays.
Now I live in NYC, and some years later I see on the news the bank merged(was absorbed) with another bank, 'sounds good, I don't care' I thought.
Well, I open my online account and the nightmare begins:
1) Redirection to the 2nd bank page
2) My credentials does not work
3) Call the original bank(no answers)
4) After several calls and days I got a phone contact
5) 'well, try all other passwords you have' (transaction passwords, operative passwords, login passwords, etc), among many other stupid answers, which by the way, were preceded by infinite question about the 2nd bank, like:
- when did you open the account with the 2nd bank?
- what is your 2nd bank account number
6) after 20 calls like that, they asked for documents, information and screenshots, and send all that to the 2nd bank tech help email.
7) After several days a person responded: 'Go to your bank(which fucking bank?)' and ask for a new user.
8) a ton of calls to know what bank I was assigned
9) called the bank: 'well, you have to come in person(no exceptions allowed) and request to close your 1st bank account and open a 2nd bank account' (I am not sure if that is gonna work)
All the technology nowadays and still I have to travel thousands of miles hoping this 'solution' works.
to be continue....3 -
Mom asked me one question.
How money transfer from one bank to another?
It was longest communication we ever had in few months.
I am happy for that question.
😊😊😊😊6 -
Funny thing just happened. I called my bank to verify my card with Apple Pay. Here’s how it went:
> Calls bank with number supplied by phone.
> “Thank you for calling [Bank] Bank!”
> ...
> A minute passes and still ringing
> wtf.jpg
> About thirty seconds in and the ring seems fainter than before.
> [2:00] is it just me or is my speaker dying...
> [3:00] no, it’s definitely getting quieter.
> [3:30] why is no one picking up???
> [4:00] now it’s so bad I have to hold it to my ear
> [4:30] now it’s blending in with the white noise
> [4:45] yeah, no. This is only static now.
> [5:00] this’ll be good for DevRant...
> calls again
> same thing happens
> ohwell.mov
Let’s try again tomorrow, I guess.
Edit: like always, I forgot the picture
10 -
Rate my setup ...
Runs with:
-10050 power bank
-Rasp. pi 3 B+
-Shitty mouse
-amoled display (S7 edge)
8 -
had an issue where our clients payment gateway would duplicate the charge (at the gateway...not at the application) before sending it to the bank officially - the bank would detect the duplication then void both charges.
the gateway service admitted this was a bug, the bank it was tied to admitted it was a bug - but they wouldnt fix it. so my solution was to send a special uid with the original transaction (put it in a special field) and had the bank track that one as the "known good"
the funny thing? next version of the gateway api included this as a feature, but i got no credit.1 -
I've been dragged out of the house by my parents cos it's bank holiday.... I'm now in a place called a Guar-denn center looking at green stuff??! Reminds me of grass from Skyrim but it's too detailed..... And it's sunny too....
And I'm 30... FML3 -
Fuck Flipkart (online shopping website)
I was trying to order a laptop, tried 3 times because it was showing "some technical error" and order didn't get placed.
Later I checked my bank account balance.
The fucking amount is deducted from my fucking bank account.
I'm gonna insert bulldozer into their fucking asses.6 -
WTF freelancer, just won a design contest and it’s so fucking hard to withdraw the money to my bank account.
“There is some invalid bank details in your withdraw request, please confirm with your bank”
I never withdraw money before so i have to wait 15 days for my first withdrawal for each withdrawal methods.
The first method (express withdrawal with no fees) was failed because the bank details issue, talk with the cs and they told me to confirm to my bank, confirmed and tried again (only 1 or 2 days waiting time) but still failed, been trying this 3 times.
Trying the second method a.k.a wire transfer, i have confirmed the bank about what details are required to receive money from overseas first so i can prevent some stupid errors.
Wait another 15 days and ...
STILL FAILED WITH SAME PROBLEM
FUCK
This is the first time i regret when i won something.
ＦＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵ6 -
My German bank really needs some better mobile devs. I just tried to do a bank transfer. For some reason, it strips away all letters out of a previously saved IBAN number, and only gives you a keypad for input, so you can't even change it back -.-17
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who here has worked for a bank?
without naming names? what was the scariest thing they did, like, bad code, bad security, etc, that you had to fix
always wanted to be a fly on the wall of the devs office for a bank...10 -
A Bank Account Number is like a public encryption key. Any random person needs it to send me money. Why does it seem like banks treat it as a secret or even use it to confirm my identity? It's literally printed in plain text on every check.2
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My laptop is a useless piece of shit when it isn't plugged. All I want is a slim box that I could bring almost everywhere I go! How long do your laptops' batteries last?27
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I just logged into my bank account to see that everything has changed. More basic, primitive styling and in general it is shit. Why am I ranting about this, because I could tell from looking that it has been done to be more mobile friendly. Sure enough I resized the screen and everything snapped into place like it would on a mobile.
Now I've got to put up with an inefficient and more time consuming UX all because some twat in the bank has decided to pander to mobile devices nearly ten years after they've been introduced even though there's already a mobile banking app for that.
Responsive design is like living with a dwarf, because one of you is small, nobody else is allowed to have cupboards on walls anymore. Bastards!7 -
Oh God, oh fuck!! My bank!! That I don't bank with. It's DIsaBlEd!!!!! OH GOD OH FUcK MY MONEY!!! This is terrible, take my password!!!!! Have it!! I need to RESET THE DAMAGE OH GOD
7 -
Recently, my friend and I participated in a hackathon and had the chance of building my very first Dapp. We call it FarmerChain. FarmerChain has a module called Farmer Bank. It's a simple wallet type contract simulating a "bank". I'd love some feedback from you guys. Any critiques/suggestions/ everything is welcome. Source code https://github.com/imshubhamsingh/...
15 -
Fuck your clients, right...? A small town bank I’m doing some security work for; I had them create me a test account. I received an email with my password; are you fucking serious...?3
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My bank sent me THREE identical letters for switching my account!
So what do we think, system or user error?
6 -
So... did I mention I sometimes hate banks?
But I'll start at the beginning.
In the beginning, the big bang created the universe and evolution created humans, penguins, polar bea... oh well, fuck it, a couple million years fast forward...
Your trusted, local flightless bird walks into a bank to open an account. This, on its own, was a mistake, but opening an online bank account as a minor (which I was before I turned 18, because that was how things worked) was not that easy at the time.
So, yours truly of course signs a contract, binding me to follow the BSI Grundschutz (A basic security standard in Germany, it's not a law, but part of some contracts. It contains basic security advice like "don't run unknown software, install antivirus/firewall, use strong passwords", so it's just a basic prototype for a security policy).
The copy provided with my contract states a minimum password length of 8 (somewhat reasonable if you don't limit yourself to alphanumeric, include the entire UTF 8 standard and so on).
The bank's online banking password length is limited to 5 characters. So... fuck the contract, huh?
Calling support, they claimed that it is a "technical neccessity" (I never state my job when calling a support line. The more skilled people on the other hand notice it sooner or later, the others - why bother telling them) and that it is "stored encrypted". Why they use a nonstandard way of storing and encrypting it and making it that easy to brute-force it... no idea.
However, after three login attempts, the account is blocked, so a brute force attack turns into a DOS attack.
And since the only way to unblock it is to physically appear in a branch, you just would need to hit a couple thousand accounts in a neighbourhood (not a lot if you use bots and know a thing or two about the syntax of IBAN numbers) and fill up all the branches with lots of potential hostages for your planned heist or terrorist attack. Quite useful.
So, after getting nowhere with the support - After suggesting to change my username to something cryptic and insisting that their homegrown, 2FA would prevent attacks. Unless someone would login (which worked without 2FA because the 2FA only is used when moving money), report the card missing, request a new one to a different address and log in with that. Which, you know, is quite likely to happen and be blamed on the customer.
So... I went to cancel my account there - seeing as I could not fulfill my contract as a customer. I've signed to use a minimum password length of 8. I can only use a password length of 5.
Contract void. Sometimes, I love dealing with idiots.
And these people are in charge of billions of money, stock and assets. I think I'll move to... idk, Antarctica?4 -
When you're broke, don't have access to a 3d printer but still wanted to make a raspberry pi portable. Cardboard + power bank is the easiest way
2 -
Security Horror Story:
A password authenticator which is case-insensitive and all special characters are treated as the same value. As a bonus, all passwords are truncated to 4 characters.2 -
!Dev
the fuck...
I'm not very good in remembering numbers. But I have lots to remember: apartment entrance code, maestrocard pin, phone pin, s few pins at work, and so on. So I remember patterns my finger mskes on a numpad instead [if you have played Ingress, you know exactly how it works].
There is a pattern for a bank card. Another one for phone pin, etc.
I've been using this technique for years... It has never failed me. I never could remember my pins, but give me a keypad and I'll enter it right away.
Last week smth happened. I forgot 2 pins from both of my bank cards... Both at the same day. And I did not have them written down anywhere for years...
Shit7 -
Am I the only one who doesn't understand apple card? Like really, it's just the worst pitch ever!
"Apple card. Made by apple. Not a bank" that's a REAL ad I saw today. Why would you trust APPLE more than an FDIC insured bank with decades or (in some select cases) CENTURIES of experience in finance?
"No more card numbers and CVV"
Cool. I get it. Card numbers get leaked and stolen. But that's why banks insure cards and reverse fradulant transactions. How an I'm supposed to use it on Amazon?! I'm sure they have an answer. Like maybe one time use generated cards. But they haven't advertised it yet, and that's a problem!
Why do they think people want this!? And even more so, because I've seen some people are excited: WHY DO PEOPLE WANT THIS?! why is apple trying to make everything?!15 -
Fuck my internet banking.
My bank just created a "new" version of internet banking which literally looks the same except it freezes my browser all the time. WTF??!!4 -
Today, this made me think: My bank limits the password I can choose to 16 chars, and only letters and numbers are allowed, no special chars. Meanwhile on Typeracer.com I was able to use 60 character password, including numbers, letters and special chars.9
-
When your work alarm goes off on a Bank Holiday Monday because Apple still dont have a feature to disable alarms on Bank Holidays. Cheers Tim.2
-
“I accidentally e-mailed my bank ‘delete’ and they lost everybody’s accounts. I’m sorry i’m just learning banking.”
“The latest Ethereum Parity wallet disaster”
https://davidgerard.co.uk/blockchai...10 -
TL;DR:
Bunq gave a fitting sentence to a 18 year old for DDoS'ing them.
source(dutch): https://tweakers.net/nieuws/129639/...
dutch:
Fintechbank' Bunq heeft bekendgemaakt dat een 18-jarige man die achter een grootschalige ddos-aanval op de bank zat, zich vrijwillig bij een kantoor van Bunq heeft gemeld. De bank en de man zijn overeengekomen dat hij voor straf een week vrijwilligerswerk bij Amnesty International moet doen.
Fintechbank' Bunq has announced that an 18 year old man has voluntarily reported to be the one behind a big DDoS against the bank. The bank and the man agreed to the sentence of a week of volunteer work for Amnesty intornational.
My addition:
That's how it can be done too!
It's a lot closer to what I see as just punishment for a DDoS compared to going to jail for years.
Bunq it took balls to show such leinancy and I do applaud you for it.5 -
When you spend 5+ minutes creating a secure password for your new bank account and you get a message saying the password must be between 6 and 12 characters long.
Not sure I want to open this account any more.
Fuck me.6 -
Just got the darkest mode on devRant and it’s fucking amazing.
The medium darkness looked so gross that I used the whitess mode until I felt like I was blinded by the light and got the darkest theme instead.
My eyes thank me, my bank account doesn’t.😂6 -
Supervisor has me making a web app in this badass new stack called the LAP (linux, apache, php) stack because he would he would like the app to be "simple". He's spot on though.. having a three letter acronym saves so much time.... and then we don't need to worry about a database... or querying.... or efficiency.... or even the web app itself because clearly he expects the fucking code gods to come down and turn this piece of shit web app into a fucking masterpiece if he thinks this shit can be done based on a hacked together file management system. Please save me code gods4
-
I had Highway to hell ringing in my ears while I‘ve read an article about Facebook planning to offer their customers a way to connect their bank account to Facebook...
Seems accurate2 -
To create a bank that's 99% digital (the 1% is for office space) with no BS charges and kick-ass money management tools.6
-
Watched an action hack movie
Then designed a scenario to sniff around a bank and get the encrypted key and finally extract the key and omg!
I've broke into the bank !!!
But seriously, is it worth trying?
I'm not going to do any thing stupid like even taking a dollar , but is it just the way I thought it is?
Will anything unexpected happen?19 -
Fuck sake, so my bank has been migrating/rolling out new IT system and app/site have been broken for about a week (others noted evidence of devs debugging in production)
Assuming I don't lose my money as some mischievous assholes will inevitably exploit the fuck up, and rob the bank, I will be moving my funds to a different bank...
In mean time I'm trying to prepare for uni, and they're making a ton of semi-random changes in addition to rolling out a site with course details and info along those line, and good fucking god is it bad.
Is is slow as fuck? Check. Does it use never-seen-before naming for standard things? Check! Is the UI pulled from late 90's? YOOU BETCHA! Are the pages bloated with unnecessary content? Fuck yeah! Do I get SQL exceptions when I finally locate my course? Of course I do. Does clicking "back" take me back to the landing page instead of previous page, when I'm several steps deep? .....
I could keep going, but don't feel like ranting and feel more like punching someone in the throat.repeatedly. -
so the bank has decided to charge me for sending me the sms notification for the sms- notification-charges
makes sense 🤨 ?
8 -
TL;DR: Why does that online shop NOT support paypal?
I'm a LITTLE pissed.
I wanted to buy some stuff online (since my gf birthday comes closer and I have no city, no car nearby to go shopping) - and this website doesn't support paypal. You know why? Because they had to high fees.
Why on earth don't they do it like any other online shop?! - the user can pay with paypal for a little more % or €.
I don't have an actual credit card but the thing you can get <18yo. Paypal works with it but I can't use any other payment option.13 -
!dev && rant
Can we talk about banks? Those fuckers! Suposed to keep our money save and be competent... They today gave me the biggest scare of my live and I've run one an update query on a prod db without a where clause! (Okay I knew we had a backup but still pretty scarry moment!)
As a few know, besides being a dev I help to organize a small openair music festival here in Switzerland. The openair was this weekend. Every thing wen't well, until I checked our ebanking account today. There was only 2/3 of the money that should be there. A quick call to the bank and they told me, nope they never received it. As we've thrown it in a secure locker during the night, we didn't receive any receipt or something like that. It took those fuckers 3.5 hours to actually go and check the looker, just to find the remaining money in the corner of it. What the fuck people, can't you open your fucking eyes and not give me a fucking heartatack? I thought you guys are professionals!
Note locker: we get a key to open it from the outside, place our payment during the night, as soon as we close it, it falls inside a vault, so there it's a pay in only system, for lack of a better word, I called it locker.
My heart is still beating like mad, because of them.4 -
#1 Take French language lessons to revive my long time ago knowledge.
#2 Read as many as I can books on dev topics
#3 Do more outdoor activities (sports)
#4 Liquidate my fucking bank loan
#5 Buy some nice wheels for my car
#6 Try to socialize more
#7 Be part of aiding childrens in need / abandoned ones -
Me: *Trying to get the mobile banking app*
App: Nope, you have a rooted device
Me: *disables root access for apps and adb*
App: Nope, you have a rooted device
Me: *Maybe a xposed module would help*
Xposed: Nope, you have android nougat
Me: *Maybe there's some LineageOS marshmallow rom for my phone*
LineageOS: Nope, just android 7.1
fml9 -
My small robot family at an convention of the company I'm working at. We're evaluating how we can use robots in banking. Maybe some day we can put them into a real bank office, but the path is tough because robots sometimes have there own mind and not giving a fuck about what I program them to do...
14 -
So my dad is watching some movie from the nineties titled "Hackers". Here are some lines from it:
"So I got into a server, looked around, run some commands. Only then did I realize that it was a bank server"
How can you not know what server are you hacking? And how did you later find out that it was a bank? For all you know you might be hacking into somebody's blog.
"
Hacker 1: So how are you gonna hack that database?
Hacker 2: I don't know yet.
H1: I would use a vulnerability in their security
"
That's like saying you would enter a building using the front doors.
Did whoever wrote the script for this movie even consulted somebody that knows at least something about hacking?6 -
Bank Teller: So how was your experience in using our online banking service.
Me: (Me looking at his face in awkward way)1 -
Whiteboard interviews. Would say "my first whiteboard interviews", but I think they will always have the magic to make developers feel stupid.1
-
I just received this notification on my phone. Robeco is a large investment bank from The Netherlands. 🤦🏽♂️
1 -
Today I explained to my wife why my night stand is a mess, and hers is clean and ordered by using the backend/frontend metaphor.
I am the backend, handling bills, bank accounts, taxes, warranties and all the paperwork.
She is my frontend, handling my social interactions.
Now she hates me, but she admitted I'm right.
She still want me to clean my night stand though.4 -
Google's shitfuckery - Ep 98465728457982 :
I have never bought anything from Google. However, I use chrome.
So... Google decided to keep details of my bank cards... All of which accounts are now closed but google doesn't know ofc. So it'd be fun to try to purchase with those now! And it doesn't let me switch to app store for my current location, because it needs bank info. Which ofc I'm not giving for purchase of already free apps. (it says "Free" right? Or do we have someone here who doesn't understand the meaning of the word "Free"?)
Even worse, I accidentally switched accounts and now every time I try to open appstore, it comes up with terms and conditions which I decline and it closes the app. Like literally no way of switching back 😂😂😂
And every time I start to think Google is not an info thief... Google proves me wrong.5 -
!dev
So one of our project allows paying in money in different currenceis, and we have few bank accounts that are "outter shell" that are monitored and properly titled wire transfer will work for paying in for certain customer. Simple. So far.
We also have +- 20-30 different bank accounts for different purposes, I dont rly know why. Im just a programmer here. Anyway, I have no idea how and why but apparently one of our partners somehow put his hands on list of our bank acc's. Welp, i should be allright, what can possibly go wronggg.... wait... what?
He had this brilliant idea to streamline more process of "go to app, press button, you will be presented with proper bank acc for you". So he did. He sent mass email to all his customers that here are all bank acc's, use wahtever to pay in. Most of acc's are unmonitored.
This went wrong and we figured out becouse mail of pissed customer....
Congratulations, my friend. You earned "I am idiot" tatoo on forehead. Visit me to redeem your reward. -
!rant
I’ll be interviewing for a software developer position at a bank today.
What do they like to hear?12 -
My project manager one time called me while I was waiting in the bank. He told me that the latest changes in the project I was working on were not deployed to production and they were having a meeting to demo those changes to the client later that day.
I had my laptop with me but it wasn't charged. I asked the security guys if I could use the socket used to power up the cleaning/sweeping machines and they didn't mind.
So it was me sitting on the floor in the bank hall using a side socket to power up my laptop holding my cellphone so I can use the hotspot and get internet connection deploying yesterday's changes to a production server.
Eventually, the client didn't attend the meeting that day!4 -
Hang on... If online banks ask you for the n'th, m'th and p'th character of your password, they must be storing it on plaintext! WTF? I don't even understand why they do that in the first place.17
-
Banks. Fuck 'em. Worst pay of any industry
Wanted : 6± years native Android experience, senior developer
Pay: $45-48 / hour
I made $50/hour on 2013 and my rates have gone up linearly since.
This earns a big ass WTF from me for BBVA Compass bank3 -
My new case is finally here!!
After 3 months of effort, 2 rejected visa and 1 (almost) lost fund, it finally arrive just before year's end
Purchased on december 1st, arrived on 29th, and the web tracking is still saying "on transit at Frankfurt", at least it's finally arrived
I used this "digital banking" thing, and my purchase was rejected twice when using visa due to "incorrect billing information", and the bank is not helpful at handling this matter, probably because the billing address is supposed to be the address on my ID card, while on the app there are 2 different usable addresses one is from ID, and one is the current address, and my rejected transaction was stuck on the second attempt, my money was not returned until a month later
Finally succeded when I used the same visa through paypal
Good print quality, the material's a bit unsatisfactory though, either it's weathered/damaged during transport, or it's just the way it is, the plastic edges doesn't "snap" perfectly along the silicon bumpers
All in all, it's a nice way to start the year, Happy New Year!!
4 -
Oh you want to email me and have me click on the link in order to update my online banking profile. Yes even tho I don't bank with you that seems like a good idea
-
There was a competition being run by a large bank in the Netherlands. The competition involved playing a simple game on Facebook to win prizes. After discovering that much of the game logic was client-sided, I used a combination of cheat engine to speed up the clock and auto mouse clicker to keep the games restarting. Turns out I was able to play several thousand games in a few minutes.4
-
Update on the bank I’m working for: their security is shit and the way they manage customer data and credentials is sickening. On top of it all, there’s about 10 windows XP computers still online not to mention the ATM is running Windows XP. What the flying fuck.1
-
I'm working on a banking app (Android) and I thought: "This is a bank. An important one. They will surely have a good IT department! It will be a joy to work with them"...
Never have I been so wrong!3 -
I started to work in the CreditCard / Bank business a year ago.
Now they stopped the hole server migration project, so I leave again. They could have had it all. Server 2016, SQL 2016, Citrix, Surface Books and so on.
But no, the new shitty projects are more important than security or on what technology the system is build on.
Seems like the FTP Server will run on Windows 2003 forever...4 -
My main mailbox is so full of spam i almost missed a good job test. Wtf
And these mails are so fucking irrelevant loan, cars, bank, life insurances... I DON'T FUCKING CARE ABOUT THEM, WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU FILLING MY MAILBOX YOU ASSHOLES 😠😠😠
and what's even more weird is how they all have one common sentence in exact formatting : "you can simply WIPE Out your mail from the mailing list".
I feel as if my email has been hacked. Any suggestions?
19 -
FUCK EVERY PERSON IN THIS SHIT BANK!! FFS THE IDIOTS CREATED A NEW DATABASE USING SQL SERVER 2008! Yes, 2008 and its a new database if it was some type of legacy I could try to understand, but this shit is a completely new database. I have to use sequelize and guess what? It can't paginate results because shit server 2008 does not accept OFFSET FETCH syntax3
-
New experience.
Went to bank at an unknown location all alone for first time and completed tons of pending work with the bank. In all, was worth 4 hours of struggling.
Being a Dev, I really feel bad how much the employee struggle to cope up with banking softwares and consider it as a gigantic task which for us is like the easiest task. Using mostly clicks and number pads and rarely any software updates.
I wonder why there isn't a proper training provided that would make them realise how simple it is to use banking proprietary softwares.
Or are we lagging behind to provide even better UX to banking employees. -
!dev
Fuck you, money.
Today I found out that I have a negative amount of money on my credit card, and now I guess I owe money to the credit card company. I can't pay for my gym, I can't pay tuition, can't shop. Nothing. Got 1K in the bank account and almost 3K debt on the card. The sorry-ass job I have in college isn't enough and because of some STUPID PAPERWORK I'm stripped naked by the income tax until I get it right, and it will take another MONTH until I have my money back retroactively. Now I gotta take a loan from my girlfriend to cover this shit up.
I remember I set it up like this so I won't have a negative amount of money on my bank account (for the rent to be paid on time) but now I'm fucked in a (w)hole different way.
FUCK YOU, MONEY!!!4 -
I'm a terminal-guy. I prefer to live inside my terminal. When my family sees me with the green-on-black, they think I'm up to some nasty stuff like hacking / cracking emails, facebook, bank accounts, etc. Only people who understand to look at the terminal realize it's just a few monitors and log tails running. Sometimes, maybe elinks or vi running as well.7
-
Best rants in movies, my top list.
John Malkovich - Burn After Reading
Bank Account: https://youtube.com/watch/...
League of morons https://youtube.com/watch/...
Michael Douglas - Falling Down - actually all the movie is a big rant, too many scenes, just this:
I want breakfast: https://youtube.com/watch/...
John Goodman - The Big Lebowsky
There are rules https://youtube.com/watch/...
Al Pacino - Devil's advocate
God: https://youtube.com/watch/...6 -
- Me: oh look at those earBuds, they're cool !
- *Me looking at my bank account balance*
- Naah not that good, who needs them anyway !2 -
It seems like sensitive websites that need more priority to work fine are the ones that do not. I'm talking about government, school, bank, & service provider sites. Or it's just my retarded country.9
-
Guyz let hack this
Here is the tea
A house wife forgot her bank 'ATM PIN' which is a four digit number, but luckily she remembered some hints on how to recall this 'PIN'
Here are some of the clues
(1) The 1st digit is half of the 2nd
(2) The sum of the 2nd and 3rd is 10
(3) The 4th is equal to the 2nd plus 1
(4) The sum of all the digits is 23
What is the ATM PIN ?5 -
So trello is down. I need to see my tasks so I know what to work on...
Now, I just reload trellos page every 2 minutes... Bored...
Earlier today it was my bank that was down.
Good day.3 -
Just started today with Python 3. I don't know but I really start to like the language. Its not to difficult and it has nice syntax. Currently I'm working on a little financial overview generator. It parses the CSV file from my bank and sorts it into categories. Really fun to make. Do you guys made some nice projects in python?4
-
Totally didn't know today's a bank holiday . No one's in... Today 😅 ooops
What fun can you have in a huge empty building 🤔11 -
There is this friend of mine, total business profile, working in banking audit for MNEs. The guy is in trouble with his PowerPoint, asking me if I can assist because "as you working in IT". I'm a Golang distributed system engineer for a major delivery company. Be sure I will call you next time I need to open a bank account.1
-
So I just got a mail from a bank.
The email address ended with .gmbh
If people want to make phishing emails then please use at least a fucking viable email address6 -
Started a new job on Monday. STILL DON'T HAVE ACCESS TO THE FUCKING SERVERS I NEED TO ANYTHING. Holy fucking shit I'm annoyed. Fuck you corporate bullshit. I already feel like quitting.3
-
I work for a big bank. I'm going to say pretty much the entire Support team is incompetent.
Oh something went wrong? Escalate to devs... cuz we have no idea wtf to do and don't have the most basic technical problem solving skills...
Bunch of useless monkeys... btw guess what time it is now? And what I'm doing?5 -
Mondo, the bank being set up by software devs is going through a name change... and is asking for suggestions, all in favour of Money McMoneyBank
-
After being banned by PayPal for no clear reason (https://devrant.com/rants/1467792/...), I think this will be a good alternative. It acts as if you have a local bank in USD, EUR, GBP, JPY, or CNH! How cool is that!
3 -
Soon...
Soon I shall reveal my superweapon... one machine to rule them all!
Fear me! Cuz i had spend money!2 -
The client portal of the biggest bank in SA is down.
I took a break, because if they website is down, who cares about my minor bugs? 😀
-
docker service scale serviceID=5
If only scaling my bank balance were as simple as docker swarm scaling !1 -
So it's Friday afternoon just before a bank holiday weekend here I'm the UK, perfect time for our production database to go TITSUP (total inability to support usual performance), life sucks then you die folks....2
-
I was supposed to have an interview for a software developer internship at a bank today, but they rescheduled last minute due to a "time conflict". This was to be my first summer internship interview. As if they didn't put me under enough stress already... Now I find out all my stress all week long was for naught.
God fucking dammit.3 -
hi sirs im new on this public forum with thousands of witnesses so could u learn me how to haxor bank acounts? i heard u can make alot of money with it thx u
6 -
Wow or wtf to these banks API. was integrating an API for a service which accept JSON input.
Okay fair enough, that would be fine
Spent an hour writing code(purescript) most of time spent was on writing Types based on the API doc. after that okay let me test the API it failed.
I was what happened? So tested the API from postman with the payload from the doc, it worked. What how?
used a JSON diff to compare the payload from postman and the log. Looked same to me after spending few hours checking what is wrong with it .trying changing value to pasting the body of the log request in postman and trying everything failed.
Later went to the original working payload provided by them and changing the order. It started throwing error. I was like wait what?
It must be only on there UAT. created a payload with production creds and hoping to our production server (they have IP whitelist) ran the curl with proper payload as expected it worked. Later for same payload changed the order or one key and tried it failed.
Just why????
I don't want to create a JSON with keys on specific order. Also it's not even sorted order.4 -
Read my client's local bank API (80's 😰) documentation and fucking pray for him to accept Stripe !!!!!1
-
Once I had an interview where in the last part the cto of the bank asked me a question about the history of my country instead of a appropriate programming one. Of course I couldn't answer and got nervous but I still want to punch that motherfucker in the face.
-
Just found out today via Reddit that Wells Fargo, American Express (not personally confirmed), and Chase login passwords are NOT case sensitive!
I would check your bank too!2 -
Here in my country banks doesn't have a public API to access your bank account extract, 3 years later we make some bots to extract these data to an API9
-
Had been to an interview today. It was renowned Bank which was hiring for a position of SSE.
You know what!! I was not allowed inside the building because I was not carrying my original driving license with me. What the fuck?? 😡😠Even traffic police won't ask for an original license!! (at least in India)5 -
I'm about to do my bachelor thesis in Interaction Design. I've got to design a banking/pocket money app for kids 8-14y for a swiss bank.
And I have no idea where to beginn with it. What is needed? What do kids like? And is a banking app for kids in demand at all? Parents? Where do I get kids to talk to without beeing a creep who stands with sweets in front of the kindergarden? 😧10 -
Huge mistake on a customer billing procedure.
That procedure was generating a file for automatic billing requests from our customer bank to his customers banks.
That procedure was shifting the bank coordinates by one byte right making all payment requests invalid and rejected.
That month the customer got nothing from invoices (more or less 80k euros).
Side note; only one payment was accepted because the guy entering the invoice on the system shifted the bank coordinates by mistake, so the procedure fixed it.
:/ -
1) clicking on the wk141 tag wouldnt show the wk140 rants
2) big titty mafia mommy gf
3) when i buy something i always have the exact price on my bank account -
I sit in a cubicle and I update bank software for the 2000 switch. You see, they wrote all this bank software and to save space, they put 98 instead of 1998. So I go through these thousands of lines of code and uh, it doesn't really matter. I, uh, I don't like my job. I don't think I'm gonna go anymore.1
-
Last 24 hrs have been fucking bad for me. No electricity for almost 22 hours and the inverter died after 12 hours. The foods gone bad in fridge, have been away from almost everything. My phone was at 10%, luckily power bank saved me but now power bank is almost empty (because mi has a huge battery and power bank was only 75%). Don't know what fucking bad things gonna happen now.12
-
My (junior) colleague gives me an existential crisis as he builds a fabric.js clone from scratch up in very little time.
Then he tells me he forgot his 4 digit bank pin he's be using for 7 years. -
A UK bank (building society) are giving away a free home security camera if you take out their home insurance product.
Seriously!? I do NOT want to install a camera, given to me by my bank, in my flat! -
Why is it that the most stupid sales mofo always asks me to sign the back of my credit card?
Gtfo, I don't wanna.
I should sue all of these shops if anyone ever steals from my bank account, cuz all of them have a copy of my signature.5 -
When some random customer of one if our (bank) clients tweeted about receiving money to their mobile money account in less than a minute (while it was like an hour before we built an API for that shit). Knowing I was the dev that made that happen made my heart melt1
-
I had to create an account on a website. I used LastPass to generate a strong password. I entered it and got the following message:
"Password must be between 8 and 16 characters and must have special characters (? , ! & #) and numbers"
My password was 20 characters, me annoyed to generate a 16 character password. Filled it in and got the same error. That was it for me.
Who dafuq limits a password to 16 characters, that's fucking nothing. It did not accept all special characters, only the ones that were showed (like 5 or so).
And here comes the worst part...
It's a bank website! I had to create the most most most insecure password in history for it to work.8 -
programming is like robbing a bank; without proper preplanning you wont finish the job and get money
-
I'm working on a project with ~1TB of data. Are there any good options for hosting that won't break the bank and aren't localhost? 😅13
-
Did you notice these cryptocurrency thefts are nowadays called "Coin hacks", not "Bank heists"? Funny.2
-
It's done. Agile has taken over my life. The other day I looked outside and thought, "As a user, I can stand on my lawn without my feet disappearing." And that's how I decided to mow my lawn.
-
Found an institutional coaching centre leaking 1000s of students personal data phone, photo, db, parents info, documents photo path, payment method(bank, check, card) etc. They 32567 rows. I'm trying to find the admin login page. It seems they have it on separate subdomain. I found student login and I can login as any student. I hate these institutes. Sent them emails days ago (29 sept) but no reply yet. What should I do?2
-
Well, support chat of my bank has nice avatars of persons answering my questions. But they so small...
Ok. Inspect element... Image link. Oh, it's just 2500x2500 image resized to 35x35... Now I just need a small hand-crafted chrome extension to add click to enlarge on these avatars.
These girls are really pretty though:)3 -
I just saw some loan/bank ad that read something around the line "when the budget goes negative, the minus becomes plus" ("Când bugetul dă cu minus, minusul se face plus")
NO, this isn't a feature, it's a bug and it's called "underflow"1 -
When your BT router breaks on the bank holiday weekend and BT can't send you a new one till the Tuesday after! There goes my productivity this weekend4
-
My company boss just changed the holiday rules...
Previously we had 2 Saturday off + 2 casual leaves and bank holidays...
Now as rule we did holiday on Monday, so he is i think angry or something...
He told us now no Saturday off, no bank holiday... Only we will get 2 leaves... That's alll...
I think it's time to Quit... Right?15 -
Had my dev job described as a "computer, desk job" in a condescending tone yesterday by a guy trying to convince me to join his pyramid scheme....
// TODO: come up with awesome rant about this so I can look badass2 -
Dad: I want you to marry a girl of my choice.
Son: No
Dad: The girl is Bill Gate's daughter.
Son: Then Ok.
Dad goes to Bill Gates.
Dad: I want your daughter to marry my son.
Bill Gates: No
Dad: My son is the CEO of the World Bank.
Bill Gates: Than ok
Dad goes to the President of the World Bank.
Dad: Appoint my son as the CEO of your bank.
President: No
Dad: He is the son-in-law of Bill Gates.
President: Then OK
That's business...!!2 -
“This value must be shorter than 20 characters in length.” … password field, bank website, 2016, wtf ¯\_(ツ)_/¯2
-
Talking about stupidity, my friend on whatsapp even share his bank online transaction on his stories, I told him to be careful with those sensitive information, but he's ignoring it.
I think he more care to show off his "bulge-wallet" than protect his own money.
Find anything stupid than that?13 -
Lately, all I see is ppl postings gifs instead of ranting...
So, choose a team:
Team Hard G
Or
Team Soft G8 -
I am trying to apply for a student credit card. Should be relatively simple, but guess what: it isn't. First there was a question on your income. I didn't know if you had to include your student loan by issued by the goverment and after calling the bank, the answer seemed to be no. And the form didn't succeed because your income should be higher than 1 euro. So I've contacted the bank again and it seems that you could just fill in your student loan as income. Okay, so that should fix the problem. So I came very close to completing the form, gave the website me an error in the last step!
-
Searching how to (insert dev related skill) then after that getting only adds shown for places that do professional dev work. No, obviously I am trying to learn the shit myself not willing to pay someone else, in fact add a sync my bank account to search just so google can comeback with results filed under you are too poor to pay for shit here are the diy results you poor dumb fuck using free wifi. :)
-
True story: After making a mistake while writing a check, I literally reached out to an imaginary keyboard and wanted to ctrl+z it... if only life was that simple1
-
Got a text from the bank that my salary is credited in my account on my way to work.
Can I turn around and head back home now? -
!dev
Why the FUCK do bank waiting lines have to be so fucking long? And why do these old cunts have to spend 30+ minutes in the booth each? If this goes on, I'll have to wait in line for THREE FUCKING HOURS just to raise my fucking daily transaction limit! And all I fucking wanted was to order the parts for my new goddamn rig! If you have too many cocking clients to handle, hire an extra worker or five!4 -
Start managing my bank accounts like they are git repos:
* account checkout -b venture/Some_Startup
* account add .
* account commit -m "Profits and Investments"
* account merge origin master -
The worst is on an ATM Card,
"This ATM card is property of the bank if found please return it"
No place to explain how to use it2 -
I am going to go freelance (starting a company and will be my own first employee) at the end of the month.
Was wondering what software some of you, who are also freelancers, are using to manage everything.
Quotes, invoices, jobcards, etc.
The bank through which I will be registering the company appears to offer some sort of online service for that purpose, but I have not seen it yet.
Any assistance will be greatly appreciated.5 -
Every time I want to check my balance at my bank, instead of placing my account identifier (in my case, my national identification number, equivalent to the SSN), I end up typing '192.168 ...' until I realize what idiot that I am! LOL. Please, tell me I'm not the only one ><.
-
One aged person went to banker and said my son is not in country, and he asked me to withdraw money from his mutual fund account. Can you help.
Banker replied, do you have withdraw form signed. If not then can you copy his sign.
Elder guy tried it and stupid banker accepted withdraw form as well.1 -
Meh. FFS. Thats how this shit starts.
Get a call to say 2018 Bank Holidays not showing on legacy web calendar.
/me looks for bank holiday code in PHP file ..... no dice.
/me finds a dBase table that holds all Bank Holiday info. Not ideal, but I can work with that.
Enter all Bank Holidaya into dBase. Sit back, relax, wait for page to reload to show me Banks .... no dice.
Huh??
Read code more closely ......
Included file (inline, half way through PROCEDURAL FILE FFS) and notice that the linked file has all Banks hand formatted into Calendar events, and minified.
If I ever meet the old dev in the street, so help me god. 🤬2 -
I want to hack central bank website.so I asked my teacher and he told me , go and learn q basic . then I bought programming with qbasic in 21 days....
Fuck that motherfucker teacher -
So get this, I try making an appointment at the bank twice, they don't call me either time so I call them and they say they'll call me back sooo they never call me back. So today I go to the bank office because fuck it right ill just come in then and guess what I'm told? Oh euh you need an appointment to open a business account LIKE FUCK YOU YOU TWAT I TRIED MAKING AN APPOINTMENT FUCKING TWICE3
-
anyone else get second thoughts about their bank when they see this kind of message after logging in?
"Online Banking is unavailable
We are really sorry we are preventing you from completing your banking today. Our technical teams are aware and actively investigating. Please know they are working hard to restore service as soon as possible.
Please call us at 123-456-7890 for banking assistance or information."
er... what?2 -
Every bank employee I've met as an IT student: "I've never imagined myself working at a bank. I don't like banks, but I like working for them". Which means they pay well.
-
My bank just switched from RSA SecurID to SMS-based 2-factor authentication, claiming it offers "equal security".
Is it not common knowledge that SMS 2FA is a security joke?? What the fuck guys?!? -
!rant
Im a java dev in my day job (in a bank) and a real estate broker(on the side) as well... Im planning to create my real estate website from scratch. should i do it on java(spring) or other language?
I know php and ruby too. I had plenty of php projects and i had one ror project 5yrs ago.
P.s
which hosting do you recommend. *cheap is better for i am just starting real estate broker.9 -
Do you guys know of any banks that offer an API to their customers? I'm looking for a way to get bank account balance and transaction history for a small personal project I'm working on (meaning, plad is not really an option)6
-
!rant
I'm a designer and just found out about a hackathon by Deutsche Bank hosted at the end of October in Berlin. Are some devs out there interested in forming a team (and brainstorming about an idea, obviously)? Preferably from around Germany, since one has to pay travel costs on his/her own, but I'm open, really.
More information: https://api-open.db.com
Just hit me up if you're interested!
P.S. I'm not bad at getting some front-end development done...8 -
void sittingInBank()
{
*Sitting in the bank listening to the automated announcer for the numbers*
N u m b e r .........
.
.
.
C
.
.
.
F i v e h u n d r e d
.
.
.
A n d
.
.
.
T w e l v e++
sittingInBank ()
}
This shit goes on forever and the announcer voice is so FUCKING annoying -
Enabled TFA on one of my utility accounts a few weeks ago.
Two days ago I started getting SMS texts from that utility with my "access code". I had no idea what was going on.
The next day I get an email from my bank that eBills have stopped working for this company.
Disabled TFA.5 -
Hm... Sounds familiar and works pretty well I think? 😀
Imagine a local pizzeria is seeking a $200,000 bank loan to expand its business. Usually, if a bank accepts, the loan is provided with interest. This is a risk for the pizzeria, because if it can’t pay back the loan with interest, the business could suffer or close altogether.
There are other options, though. Imagine instead if the bank offered the pizzeria a $100,000 loan, and required it to raise the rest within the community, selling coupons in a local currency. A $100 coupon might be worth $120 in pizza, for instance. This scheme could help the pizzeria raise the extra funds.
In general, the bank’s risk in offering the loan is also decreased. Customers themselves help a business grow, making it even easier for the pizzeria to repay the original loan.
The pizzeria can now expand without being burdened by huge interest payments, and is confident that the community is eager to support its growth. Customers, in turn, are rewarded by a 20 percent discount on pizza!6 -
bunq, N26 or revolut? I am also a bit sceptical because of brexit - i am sure it would affect revolut. I don't like the pricing of n26 but the metal MasterCard looks sexy and I love the features of bunq.
Not sure which bank I should choose...
Has anyone here got some more info about those three mobile first banks?10 -
Just noticed a thread on r/programmerhumor about bank code intentionally adding delays with all these JavaScript code blocks of how it's adding sleep cycles in.
So I spent an hour reading the documentation and wrote up an over engineered solution in COBOL just to prove a point.2 -
So it's a bank holiday today. Would be a shame if I crashed and you'd need to come in anyway...
- VPN Server1 -
This day is off to no good... :(
First l forget the ssh port to my mail server and now i realized that tomorrow is the last day the server is up. I need to add more credits but i literally have 2 cents on my bank account :(1 -
The internet allowed for people to never have to go to a library for knowledge.
Bitcoin allows for people to never have to go to a bank for money.14 -
Dunno why all Bank websites and app are very poor. Thanks to UPI now we are not locked down to poor apps for basic services.3
-
How do people deal with this.
Customer: my trial is finished, and I dont have a bank card?
What do I do say post me the money every month send it by pigeon mail?5 -
Today is bank holiday in the UK. Fucking boss slacked me to say he needs graphql n mongodb wired up by tomorrow. I almost tell him to fuck off, today is not work, bitch1
-
I'm thinking about making the switch to a mechanical keyboard, but I don't know much about them. Anyone have good recommendations on a starter brand that's good quality but won't break the bank?4
-
My bank here in Philippines is having a glitch with there system since yesterday. the current balances of the depositors are not tally anymore and most annoying thing is they don't allow to withdraw money in their atm machines until now. I know its very difficult to fix this issue but we our need money in order to eat! 😢2
-
Any of you guys (especially German people) know of this online bank N26? It looks pretty cool and I was thinking of getting another bank account for a better money management plan. Anyone's used it before/knows it's safe/good?8
-
Client: "All questions will be multiple choice"
*after implementing exams I finally get the content*
Me to myself: "These are word Bank and short answer questions"
🙃🙃🙃🙃 -
How to charge a Drone battery with a power bank (or how to burn a battery, lipo module and maby power bank)
2 -
I was once working at very successful startup as lead android engineer, when another startup contacted me and offered me a better paid and "stable" position. 9 months later I woke up on the 1st of the month (1st June 2018), checking my bank account: No payment. I go to office, boss comes in : hey guys, we're bankrupt and we can't pay your salary.
Today still no salary, we're waiting now for court to officially declare the startup bankrupt and then Government will pay me my last 3 salaries, while my working contract is still valid for 3 months after company gets declared officially as bankrupt. We're being expected to work as nothing would be, with no money on our bank accounts (we've been even told to take a temporary loan) and that sooner or later somebody will buy us off. Oh, it would be also really nice from us if we would not be looking for a new "challenge". What'd you do?3 -
If I hear one more enterprise architect tell me the bank can't use tech until it's ten years old....2
-
!rant
I always wanted to avoid the stereotypical green text black background terminals especially in public when people keep giving me weird and scared looks, however i realised that in the bright daylight of an outdoor coffee shop, green text on a black background is the only configuration that doesn't make me sprain my eyes. It's actually useful and not just a Hollywood movie trope.1 -
When you have a great idea and 'possibly' the skills to pull it off
But...you lack the bank account and the experience to confidently try, as well as the social ability needed to attempt crowd funding1 -
Dreading the end of this bank holiday weekend, tomorrow I must wake up and return to working with legacy code.
-
Not really documentation, but actually the user manual for a corporate online ebanking system for dealing with EPF/ETF. The instructions were very very vague, and when we called the bank for clarification, they said that some of the stuff in the manual was outdated/not relevant anymore. Like what the fuck man?
-
Not many people will get this joke/reference.
I got {for i=1,8 do print(i .. ",") end} M's in my bank account, yeah
{for 1,5 do print("In my bank account, yeah\n") end}1 -
Anyone here from Europe????? :D
JK
I just need a good bank here, with benefits, shoot me some best ones, also shoot me reference shits so you and I will have money :)!
If you want me to have some sort of crypto thing only, don't worry to shoot that on me too. I work for crypto company.8 -
shamelessAffiliateLink == true
I just wanted to share this with anyone that is interested in trying a mechanical keyboard but not trying to break the bank or wants one that isn't 10 meters wide. It's my first mechanical keyboard and I absolutely love it. I got the black one.
https://amzn.to/2MxmpWq2 -
Well studying for it made me stop working fulltime (in a cs field), so for my bank account it's not useful at all. And for myself, it feels a bit like a waste of time.1
-
Me: The client is getting hosting from a different company than we suggested since they require you to pay via bank and she doesn't consider that safe.
Co-worker dude: But aren't banks like the safest way of paying?
Me: Well I guess not in the Filipines (where the client is from)
Dude: .......3 -
Got fed up with my bank. Scheduled five daily payments to transfer $0.01 from my transaction account to my credit card every day each. Is it considered spamming their DBs?11
-
finally found what was messing up with virtualbox. the problem? bank security module. also my computer is much faster now 😑
-
Tip: when doing transactions, don't pay as cash even if they tell you it is a requirement. Tell them you will pay via cheque or via bank transfer with a contract first with a seal from an attorney. You must have a valid copy first of the contract before doing payments. Also, get a photo of 2 valid IDs the person you are doing transactions. They require you personal infos and IDs? Require them also that.
#noContractFirstNoPayment1 -
did you already know about this?
i think this will be impressive!
A full programmable bank account for developers!!!
Link: https://offerzen.com/blog/...6 -
Google’s SEO glitch over the weekend resulted in both a ruined weekend for my client and I but also a little billable time for me and extra moolah in my bank account. I only wish I had seen this article, but it did help us uncover a nasty hotlinker to block and disavow. Thanks, Google?
https://searchenginejournal.com/goo... -
I used to lead a team of several devs. Then we learned the boss was using the company as his personal piggy bank. Now I lead a team of 1.4
-
WhatsApp Messenger is not working today here in Mexico. I wonder how'severything going on over there 😂😂😂 it brings to mind once when I first released to production some dlls I modified. The bank core didn't work 10 minutes5
-
Ok so i have two laptops, one has One slot with ddr3 4gb ram and is way too slow for school, the other one is 5years old but fast as hell but has a dead battery. Should i buy a 8gb bank or a new battery. Providing the price is roughly the same.. ??5
-
!developer_rant
Ok, so my pc is on it's way out (Cries in the corner) so i thought i would just bite the bullet and buy my new system, comes to around $1800 AUD without the GPU which i already have... So i decided I would use zipmoney as i prefer to pay by month (yes i know it costs a little bit each month) but... My application got declined for a $2000 account... So you are telling me i was able to apply for a bank loan last year for $4000 and get approved, get approved to rent a house... I have a perfect credit rating but apparently i dont qualify for a simple loan because i dont earn enough... I'm earning almost double what i was when I applied for a fucking bank loan!5 -
Hi guys! We are still searching for another dev to join our team for the hackathon hosted by Deutsche Bank in Berlin (late october). We're currently a team of 2: @ginjikoibito as iOS-/Backend-Dev and me as Designer.
So far the idea we want to apply with goes in this direction: Real-time evaluation of social structures through analyzing wealth & transactions provided by anonymized user-data of the API. It will also incorporate recognizable networks between users.
Sounds interesting? Please leave a comment, we're happy to share more with you :-)2 -
Asked my real estate agency to withdraw the rent from my bank account on monday. Today is friday, these fuckers didn't do it and now I don't have enough money left (short by 50€) to pay them.
On the bright side, I finish the month with 600€.
Damn it should be painful to be this fucked in the head.6 -
When the receptionist from the bank tells me: "there aren't system" I think: I have to be patient, might the systems I've made could fails too. However I hope my systems never fail.
-
Dear the devs at Danske Bank UK,
For the 4th time in 5 years I am going to send a error report to you and get my local branch to directly email you to complain about the lack of being able to see anything on my ISA on online banking, plus just fucking fix it,
sincerely Hidden3 -
Starting my first dev job next week (except for freelance work) and I'm crazy nervous that I'm going to make some huge mistake and look really stupid. Did anyone else have these fears before their first dev job and, if so, how'd you stay at least a little confident?4
-
For those of you who DO use PHP, regardless of whether you like it or not, have you ever used something like PEAR? And what are your thoughts?
I'm writing a fairly basic internal web app for our PMs and I'm looking for something similar to npm to save me some time/effort. I should also mention that my supervisor insists it be in PHP...6 -
Should I study or not.
I'm in a rut, yet again. I have an opportunity to start a java certification. The course is going to cost me quite a bit, and i will have to loan from the bank. At the moment I'm struggling financially, but my dreams are set on programming.
Should I take it, or do I negate the risk and do what I'm comfortable with.6 -
The world is talking about all the cool stuff meanwhile I work for a bank for a legacy system. My average finish time per task is 2 weeks, like add a button, a field and save it into the db. The good thing is my pay is higher than the avg. not sure it's good or bad. U use react? We have project in backbone and requirejs. Oh I heard u're on webpack? Whatever..2
-
The credit card autocomplete function of Google chrome issues TWO bank statements each autocomplete. 1. -1$ 2. +1$ :/
-
!dev
My new passion in life is to stack money in prevision to pay an enormous tax, and discovering the day before paying that some gas company took advantage of it to pay themselves about 1/3 of the amount I owe to the taxes. Now I can't pay anymore.
This is a fucking nightmare.3 -
So I do some custom integrations for a local bank. A customer is referred to me by the Bank, we failed to o agree on the price by about 100usd. The customer the goes to some old timer who doesn't even know the difference between php and asp. Then new 'dev' can't figure out how to do the integration and then turns to me to do the work for him for 1/3 of what I had charged the client. Don't know if I should tell him to go to hell or call the customer and ask him to get a hire someone who can differentiate between his nose and ass hole.1
-
So... there is a bank. And the website for example is using "https". Alright. But the Login consists your login ID (in the most cases your account number) and a Pin number ( only 5 chars) If i remember pentesting, crunch etc a pin or password with 5 chars (included special characters) is fast hackable or not? Or is it super secure cuz of the "https"?4
-
Sigh, when you realise your bank is using depracated dojo.js (uncompressed with console warnings) and it wont proceed unless you turn ublock origin off ...
-
I'm a fucking student, so no I don't recieve copies of the utility bills to my bloody halls, nor do I get paper versions of my damn bank statements, since y'know, it's 2016.
It's a goddamn £250 invoice I can't get now, despite getting at least 10 other payments for the same amount previously.
Fuck you in your Royal arse, peopleperhour2 -
Tonight #PayPal has decided again (like every night) that my bank account has been closed so they will delete it from their database...
-
Can someone explain why xc7a35t have a bunch of power pins for bank 13? There IS no bank 13 on that silicon. Wtf?
-
$cash me outside, how 'bout that?
What do people use (I'm specifically interested in UK, but all answers welcome!) for P2P payments?
I like square cash, just so that I can say that. Monzo next, and the I guess direct bank transfer but only with a handful of people I really know. You wouldn't want to give it to stranger, and its a cumbersome process.4 -
The worst project i work on is my actual project, this is not a dev project but a "Run the Bank" project !
check 3 times a day that servers are okay, logs are okay, unduserssolvedunderstand and give the "how to fix" to the dev team #pan1 -
Why do people (mostly clients) love to pay using paypal? Don't they know it's not a bank and there's really no fraud protection.
I know I'm enabling it by offering PayPal as a payment option...3 -
Waiting for devRant to fix apple subscription so I join. Just common and clean my bank account @dfox2
-
Clients should pay their bills, yes. But also, developers should check their bank accounts before shutting things down.
https://thesun.co.uk/news/8253908/...3 -
What a marvellous money making combination. Entity Framework generated queries and Azure DTUs. Satyr Nadella laughing all the way to the bank
-
Find on frenh bank application :
string name;
try {
Client client = _repo.getById(id);
name = client.name;
} catch {
name = "noname";
}
😂😂😂😂😂
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