This would be funny if it wasn't supposed to show the amount on my bank account.

No fucks given whatsoever

Fuck today was weird.

Today I received almost half a million on my bank account. 😯

Someone changed the ancient cryptic billing system. My user account at work has id 32 in the database, and the dev referenced the size of the creditor id instead of the of the value of the ids itself, and they're u32 ints... So ALL the money moving through our platform was accidentally transferred to my associated bank account.

For all the unit tests we have, this bug tumbled right through.

And no one at finances thought a transfer that big, to a backend dev they know by name, was suspicious — with almost no money going to other creditors...

That worries me a bit. The fact that this shit can happen, even at high test coverage, just because someone mindlessly did a wrong autocomplete or something.

Of course I will send it back... after two weeks and a few hundred € of interest.

> finds awesome software
> finishes trial period
> looks at pricing
> looks at bank account
> cries in a corner

I'm 22 and professional COBOL developer working for a bank, would love to move but money is good.

I recently won a "Hack the Bank" competition where I had to hack an ATM and withdraw a large sum of money.

But what's funny, is that after the competition ended, the organizers installed Kali on the actual ATM.

The official E-banking website of a Georgian (country) bank. Seems like a good system 😂

Bank managers be like

Python. Changed a function to return a tuple instead of one value in some database code. Tests pass, gets deployed, everything works. End of the month comes. Suddenly, we get a report that we're draining people's bank accounts and credit cards.

It turns out there was an untested bit of code inside the billing process that used this function. It used the function that was changed. To make matters worse, when the exception was thrown, the billing had already completed successfully, and due to another unrelated bug it would retry despite this.

So, needless to say, type safety and good unit tests are things I prioritize nowadays.

Me: so glad it's Friday!
Coworker: it's Wednesday...
Me: FUUUUCCKK. This is bullshit

"It must work in IE6, we still use it in our offices."
While developing a JavaScript web app for a bank with 10 000+ employees. In 2014.

Coworker: Can you create program for me?
Me: What this "program" going to do?
Coworker: Hack bank network and send me money. Can you make it for Android?
😆😆😆

Just in bank testing app in production

This month's expenses:
- Computer parts to build a new computer.
- Separate video card.
- Hex monitor stand.
- 6 (second hand) monitors

I'm so sorry for my bank account 😥

Fucking Axis Bank ATM

Card swipe
--> Slow GIF
--> Select your transaction
--> Slow GIF
--> Select your account type
--> Slow GIF
--> Enter your amount
--> Slow GIF
--> Enter your pin
--> Slow GIF
--> Slow GIF
--> Slow GIF
--> Unable to dispense money

On the first class of cryptography professor says, "Hackers are people who dropped out of school, didn't obey their parents and turned to drugs and alcohol and steal money from people by hacking their facebook."

Then goes on to say, "People tend to keep their birthdate as their debit card's PIN so hacker checks their facebook account, finds their birthdate and goes to ATM machine and hacks their bank account."

I was speechless.

I literally have 27 cents on my bank account and i'm checking every 5 min if i've been paid yet

You want to know what fucking pisses me off? This fucking router thinking it can just inject itselft and redirect into any fucking page that it wants..my fucking bank account? Yep, my fucking google docs? YEP, Fucking CSGO? YOU BET BRO

I was trying to get some cash from an ATM. Instead of vending bank notes as it should, this happened...

I still need that cash...

My dev superpower would be the power to magically refill anything.
Out of hot coffee? Refill your thermos!
Bank account running low? Refill with money!
Battery empty? Refill with charge!
Going bald like me? Refill your head with hair!
Bed empty? Refill with beautiful women!
Clients / managers annoying you? Refill their bladders!
The possibilites are limitless!

I literally cringed today when my neighbor wanted help installing an app, she didn't tell me it was her banking app... And the thing I needed to help with was logging in... So she told me her bank details...

Even though I said (multiple times) it was dangerous to do so, and that she can't just trust people with this kind of information...

WHY ARE PEOPLE SO GOD DAMN STUPID WHEN IT COMES TO SECURITY!

Oh boy...

So my mom just responded to an email saying her email account would be deleted if she didn't respond to it by typing in her email address...

And the password to that email address, her SSN, and her bank account number. Now I have to fix it. For crying out loud...

Best and worst customer I've had: A bank.
Great because they had so much money for projects.
Unbearable because everything needed to work in IE6.

1. Unlimited money on bank account
2. Give me master degree
3. Disable remote desktop as “secure environment” at my workplace

From the director of the department within a large investment bank: "We will be looking into converting all Java code to Cobol because it is easier to work with".

Needless to say I started looking for a new job that night.

Me: So what you are doing in the IT field?
Him: I am hacking bank websites.
Me: OK, that's cool. It is good in free time. What is your actual job?
Him: I am seriously hacking the bank Web site!
Me: Trust me, if you seriously doing that you will never ever mentioned it...
Him: No, I am doing it legally... The bank hiring me to try to hack the website...
Me: OK, you mean that you are cyber security tester?
Him: That is almost the same...
Me: So you are tester?
Him: I am hacking bank's websites...
Me:....

Didnt expect a reputable bank to do testing in this manner. Damn you Axis Bank, your system is supposed to be the best. Smh. 😩

My summer internship adventures

Cunt Boss: you will receive salary and a bonus at the end of the project
Me: *works for 3 months*
Cunt Boss: *sends 60 fucking euros to my bank account*
Me: is that just the bonus?
Cunt Boss: oh I'm sorry, we have some financial troubles here and that's all I can give you

Thanks! Now I can buy you a dildo so you can go fuck yourself

I always feel awkward asking for large quantities of $1s from the bank. I'm addicted to the snack machine, not strippers!

Presenting the inside of Xiaomi 5200 mAh power bank!
P.S. I tried Snapseed for photo editing and it's really nice ☺

A major bank had a bug in their system that triggered multiple postings of transactions in all of their clients' accounts. When they found out the root cause, they just had to mention that the programmer was a female. Like that was any bearing to the problem. It's not like they have like a whole fucking team of QA testers that should have checked that shit before it went to production.

You're a flippin bank, and your public website has an invalid cert!? WTF. No, I'm done, and I don't trust you with my money either.

I wish my bank pulled the devrant prank for one day. I guess I'd feel better for a day

Everybody is talking about react, angular, Vue etc, and here I am, fixing ie7-8 website compatibility for a financial-bank institution.

Namecheap: *cricket noises for over a year*
Today: "hEy ThErE cOnDoR, yOuR dOmAiN WiL eXPirE iN 24 hOuRs!1! rEnEw NoW, yOU rEadY?"
Me: "No you motherfucking bastards, a bank transfer takes 3 days at least. Oh wait you don't even accept bank transfer, how convenient!"

And what if I didn't see that email right after your fucking craptacular automated notification system sent it to me, hmm? Don't you Namecheap of all companies know how fucking *vile* domain squatting on the .com is?!!

MOTHERFUCKING CUNTS!!! Jeopardize my domains like that *one more fucking time*, and guess who will be taking his assets to the sexist bastards that I tried avoiding for so long, GoDaddy! FUCKERS!!!

Anyone else get a little freaked out when someone tells you a website works BEST on IE?

My dad got a job at TD (bank)

We where talking about their computers and stuff. Then we started talking about passwords.

Keeping in mind that this is a bank....
Here is their password rule:

6-12 char long
All lower case
Only letters and numbers

(Passwords are stored on a legacy system)

Why?

Why should I trust that bank??
And also.. how do they expect to be extremely secure??

Its amazing walking to a big bank building which you networked and you know where each cable passes to and you remember where you took shortcuts

Just surfin aroung in C# job offers and found this gem, a joboffer from a german bank:

"Sie verfügen über Erfahrung in der Entwicklung individueller .NET-Lösungen auf Basis von C "Hashtag"."

which translates to

"... and you have excperience with C "hashtag"..."

Lol'ed harder then I should have...

Honestly? People. For the first two years of my career I worked for an investment bank.. Basically working to make rich people richer. That, plus the technology sucked, made me change what I do.

I now work for a company that, while it doesn't cure cancer, it makes products that my friends use, my family uses, even my 1 year old son uses. And knowing I am making a difference in their life in even just a little way is worth it.

Also now that I have a family and a kid, my priorities have shifted and as much as I love coding, my family and kid will always come first now. Could I be making more at an investment bank where I worked 12 hour shifts every day? Sure. But it's not worth it to me.

If someone wants to violate my Facebook account he needs my password, the key I receive in my phone, and to know all the faces in my friendlist.
If someone wants to violate my bank account and spend all my money, he needs my password.

I've secured my first software developer job at a large bank in the UK after doing Java Developer training for the last 3 months. I'm so happy!

Guy I just met: so what do you do?

Me: I'm a developer

Guy: no way! I work for a software company so... (goes on to talk for 10 minutes trying to show off his knowledge of software)

Me: so what do you do there?

Guy: sales

Me: oh...

Just because you work for a software company does not mean you know shit about software. Don't try to build some erroneous common ground with me because you walked by a developer's desk one time, looked at his or her screen, and magically thought you could understand code.

At work for a bank, I changed the target SQL Server in my SSIS project and arbitrarily, all my custom-coded scripts were erased!!

I didn't take backups and I spent a week coding them! Fuuuuuuuuuckkkkk 😠

Ended up rewriting them.

I learned my lesson... 😥

My bank testing in production environment 😂🤣😂🤣

GF's brother, Connel (a seaman), knows I work in IT

Connel: you hack computers, right?
Me: not really. I'm more of a developer for businesses
Connel: can you hack banks like [insert name of local bank]? We can hack other people's passwords and make tons of money *laughs hysterically*
Me: (a bit awkward) probably. it depends
Connel: but you can really do it, right?
Me: uhm, maybe. It depends
Connel: but you can do it if you choose to, right?

*this went over for next 5 mins*

This is my bank. Plz no :c

Any Rick & Morty's fans in here? These are my new stickers for my power bank.

(Sorry for the shitty quality my camera lens is broken)

The life of a freelancer:

Work is "just one more episode on Netflix" away...

A lot of people ranting about GDPR emails, but it's cool when you receive them by letter 😆

Just found this little gem when I ducked RBL.. must be a super high quality bank with that meta description :3

You run a bank with over 10million customers and can't​ handle a nullpointerexception error.And java ssly.

Switched banks, got new e-banking, unable to set up a new password.

It contains invalid characters.

IT'S A FUCKING BANK ACCOUNT I SHOULD BE ABLE TO USE HASHTAGS OR EVEN HAVE FUCKING SPACES IN IT IF I FEEL LIKE IT.

I guess I'm "installing" a bank account today...

First day in a job in tech. Wish me luck.

Supervisor: so you're going to write a perl script that will compile a jar that will be used to invoke a web service
Me: okay. What does the web service do?...
Supervisor: I'm not sure how it works. It'll just return a success or error code
Me: so I'm just going to invoke a black box?
Supervisor: that's a good way to think of it
Me: so how does the qa process work with this black box/how can we debug?
Supervisor: we don't have qa for it and we can't debug

What the fuck?!?!? You expect me to call a literal fucking black fucking box?!?! This isn't lambda calc you jabroni.

CAN YOU PLEASE UPDATE TO 2018!!!

My bank just sent me a message, that they have a new service where you can send a private message to your banker.

I needed to transfer money, and didn't have my cheque book on me, so I sent him a message to please transfer XX dollars to account YY.

His response?
Please send us a fax.

A FAX?? ARE YOU SERIOUS??

And that is supposed to be more secure than a private message from your website, after you force me to change my password every 90 days with crazy requirements that only satisfy hackers???

I told my friend that he will get his money when the bank updates the century they live in ...

My bank account

This big multi-million consulting company hired me as freelance. They did it in a hurry, because "the project already started, it is a very important client (a bank) and we need your expertise by YESTERDAY".

In the first THREE WEEKS I had meetings with their own project managers, their client's project managers, techies, sales people. No one was able to tell me what do I have to do, but:

1 - they asked me for very detailed estimates plus a release plan
2 - f**k your estimates, we need this BY JANUARY 16th

Worst security issue : being able to make a money transfer with no auth and changing freely the bank account in the POST params...

Dev excuse : "I didn't know my job was also to take care about security."

Taxi driver: "So what course you studying?"
Me: "Software Engineering"
Taxi driver: "Oh, so you know how to hack Facebook and people's bank accounts?"
Me: *facepalm*

I got selected for a dev job at a bank and I received a form on email to fill up and come with the hard copy to do the documentation etc.
HR girl: I can't understand what you wrote in the form.
Me: Yeah, I don't usually write things these days with a pen.
HR: So when was the last time you actually wrote anything.
Me: I think it was at a bank. I filled a form.
HR: Nice one!
Me: Oh!

You fucking son of a bitch!

First you make me do a project in two fucking months, and that's a fucking job-load for only one dev to deliver a SPA with payments and whatsoever.

Then you pushed me to accelerate deployment date and there I am, getting tired and using time I don't have.

But oh no, you prick, that wasn't enough, you had to do just one thing. YOU HAD TO DO ONE FUCKING THING!

What's that? Oh, sorry, I thought I overheard that you wanted to accept online payments but YOU'RE NOT FUCKING SIGNED UP, YOUR BUSSINESS IS NOT LEGAL UNTIL YOU REGISTER IT.

Motherfucker, I can't do anything, you better fucking register your bussiness if you want this to work the way it's supposed to do.

Finally got access to repo in my new work place (bank). Now I'm considering keeping my money buried somewhere instead of using bank accounts...

I wish I could manage my bank account like I do my hard drive space...

Average Joe:
1.searches how to save money for child college education.
2. Creates a bank account and starts to save , small amount of money from his income.
3. After 18 years, after all the hardwork finally pays the tuition fees to his child.

Dev:
1. Creates a website"Child Savings 101"
2. Monetize it
3. After 18 years, pays the tuition fees.

oh, ok, alright, it won't break the bank.. oh.. are we talking about actually OWNING a bank?

When you watch your bank working on xp, and ie6.
That sense of safety on the back of your neck :/

Funny thing just happened. I called my bank to verify my card with Apple Pay. Here’s how it went:

> Calls bank with number supplied by phone.
> “Thank you for calling [Bank] Bank!”
> ...
> A minute passes and still ringing
> wtf.jpg
> About thirty seconds in and the ring seems fainter than before.
> [2:00] is it just me or is my speaker dying...
> [3:00] no, it’s definitely getting quieter.
> [3:30] why is no one picking up???
> [4:00] now it’s so bad I have to hold it to my ear
> [4:30] now it’s blending in with the white noise
> [4:45] yeah, no. This is only static now.
> [5:00] this’ll be good for DevRant...

> calls again
> same thing happens
> ohwell.mov

Let’s try again tomorrow, I guess.

Edit: like always, I forgot the picture

I used to work for a Mexican bank in Mexico, as a developer I opened (and use) an account, since the bank was not famous(most of its business was with the government), going to the bank and see no waiting lines was an advantage, so I started using it as my only bank account even nowadays.

Now I live in NYC, and some years later I see on the news the bank merged(was absorbed) with another bank, 'sounds good, I don't care' I thought.

Well, I open my online account and the nightmare begins:

1) Redirection to the 2nd bank page
2) My credentials does not work
3) Call the original bank(no answers)
4) After several calls and days I got a phone contact
5) 'well, try all other passwords you have' (transaction passwords, operative passwords, login passwords, etc), among many other stupid answers, which by the way, were preceded by infinite question about the 2nd bank, like:

- when did you open the account with the 2nd bank?
- what is your 2nd bank account number

6) after 20 calls like that, they asked for documents, information and screenshots, and send all that to the 2nd bank tech help email.

7) After several days a person responded: 'Go to your bank(which fucking bank?)' and ask for a new user.

8) a ton of calls to know what bank I was assigned

9) called the bank: 'well, you have to come in person(no exceptions allowed) and request to close your 1st bank account and open a 2nd bank account' (I am not sure if that is gonna work)

All the technology nowadays and still I have to travel thousands of miles hoping this 'solution' works.

to be continue....

Mom asked me one question.

How money transfer from one bank to another?

It was longest communication we ever had in few months.

I am happy for that question.
😊😊😊😊

I am beyond speechless. My Bank forces me to use a password that consists of EXACTLY 8 characters, and at least one small character, one big and one number. Oh, and it should not be identical to the last 5 passwords.

What's the best part about this?
THEY HAVE A FUCKING METER TO MEASURE YOUR PASSWORD STRENGTH. FUCKING HYPOCRITES!

Not even a 2 factor makes via sms can make me feel save when you have such a big pile of shit behind it

Fuck sake :(

So I just checked my bank to find out I'm in an extra £300 debt because my fucking letting agency took my rent AFTER I MOVED IT FOR £98 BECAUSE I COULDN'T AFFORD IT.

Why the fuck is the world throwing turd after steaming turd at me, first the streets, then family, then job, then debt, now a constant barrage of shit. Just feel like ending it now so I don't have to deal with this shit anymore, fuck the human race and the shithole upside down society they've made :'(

I know many shitheads who are concerned about privacy and all show off with #DeleteFacebook trend without knowing the details.

But the same people aren't hesitant to share their information offline with a complete stranger while filling up forms at any event, bank, saloon or mall for follow up spam e-mails, telephone calls and messages.

Sometimes people are the problem and not these corporations.

We are surrounded by stupid fucktards and morons.

Be prepared, alert and aware of the surroundings because future is full of retards.

Rate my setup ...
Runs with:
-10050 power bank
-Rasp. pi 3 B+
-Shitty mouse
-amoled display (S7 edge)

who here has worked for a bank?

without naming names? what was the scariest thing they did, like, bad code, bad security, etc, that you had to fix

always wanted to be a fly on the wall of the devs office for a bank...

New router, 2x the speed 🤟

New router, 500 less on bank account 👎

My German bank really needs some better mobile devs. I just tried to do a bank transfer. For some reason, it strips away all letters out of a previously saved IBAN number, and only gives you a keypad for input, so you can't even change it back -.-

WTF freelancer, just won a design contest and it’s so fucking hard to withdraw the money to my bank account.

“There is some invalid bank details in your withdraw request, please confirm with your bank”

I never withdraw money before so i have to wait 15 days for my first withdrawal for each withdrawal methods.

The first method (express withdrawal with no fees) was failed because the bank details issue, talk with the cs and they told me to confirm to my bank, confirmed and tried again (only 1 or 2 days waiting time) but still failed, been trying this 3 times.

Trying the second method a.k.a wire transfer, i have confirmed the bank about what details are required to receive money from overseas first so i can prevent some stupid errors.

Wait another 15 days and ...

STILL FAILED WITH SAME PROBLEM

FUCK

This is the first time i regret when i won something.

ＦＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵ

Fuck Flipkart (online shopping website)
I was trying to order a laptop, tried 3 times because it was showing "some technical error" and order didn't get placed.
Later I checked my bank account balance.
The fucking amount is deducted from my fucking bank account.
I'm gonna insert bulldozer into their fucking asses.

I've been dragged out of the house by my parents cos it's bank holiday.... I'm now in a place called a Guar-denn center looking at green stuff??! Reminds me of grass from Skyrim but it's too detailed..... And it's sunny too....

And I'm 30... FML

My laptop is a useless piece of shit when it isn't plugged. All I want is a slim box that I could bring almost everywhere I go! How long do your laptops' batteries last?

had an issue where our clients payment gateway would duplicate the charge (at the gateway...not at the application) before sending it to the bank officially - the bank would detect the duplication then void both charges.

the gateway service admitted this was a bug, the bank it was tied to admitted it was a bug - but they wouldnt fix it. so my solution was to send a special uid with the original transaction (put it in a special field) and had the bank track that one as the "known good"

the funny thing? next version of the gateway api included this as a feature, but i got no credit.

A Bank Account Number is like a public encryption key. Any random person needs it to send me money. Why does it seem like banks treat it as a secret or even use it to confirm my identity? It's literally printed in plain text on every check.

When you realize the bank where you have a credit card uses PHP...

The one that made me quit was when I was told I had to drive to the data centre and do a backup every day over the bank holiday weekend with no extra pay or time off. For no reason. And yes I know I'm an idiot for doing it but whatever.

The one that made me walk out, a month and a half later, was when I came in on Monday morning to discover that my boss had entirely rewritten the code I had spent literal months on in one weekend. Naturally he'd broken it and said it was an improvement.

I just logged into my bank account to see that everything has changed. More basic, primitive styling and in general it is shit. Why am I ranting about this, because I could tell from looking that it has been done to be more mobile friendly. Sure enough I resized the screen and everything snapped into place like it would on a mobile.

Now I've got to put up with an inefficient and more time consuming UX all because some twat in the bank has decided to pander to mobile devices nearly ten years after they've been introduced even though there's already a mobile banking app for that.

Responsive design is like living with a dwarf, because one of you is small, nobody else is allowed to have cupboards on walls anymore. Bastards!

So... did I mention I sometimes hate banks?

But I'll start at the beginning.

In the beginning, the big bang created the universe and evolution created humans, penguins, polar bea... oh well, fuck it, a couple million years fast forward...

Your trusted, local flightless bird walks into a bank to open an account. This, on its own, was a mistake, but opening an online bank account as a minor (which I was before I turned 18, because that was how things worked) was not that easy at the time.

So, yours truly of course signs a contract, binding me to follow the BSI Grundschutz (A basic security standard in Germany, it's not a law, but part of some contracts. It contains basic security advice like "don't run unknown software, install antivirus/firewall, use strong passwords", so it's just a basic prototype for a security policy).

The copy provided with my contract states a minimum password length of 8 (somewhat reasonable if you don't limit yourself to alphanumeric, include the entire UTF 8 standard and so on).

The bank's online banking password length is limited to 5 characters. So... fuck the contract, huh?

Calling support, they claimed that it is a "technical neccessity" (I never state my job when calling a support line. The more skilled people on the other hand notice it sooner or later, the others - why bother telling them) and that it is "stored encrypted". Why they use a nonstandard way of storing and encrypting it and making it that easy to brute-force it... no idea.

However, after three login attempts, the account is blocked, so a brute force attack turns into a DOS attack.

And since the only way to unblock it is to physically appear in a branch, you just would need to hit a couple thousand accounts in a neighbourhood (not a lot if you use bots and know a thing or two about the syntax of IBAN numbers) and fill up all the branches with lots of potential hostages for your planned heist or terrorist attack. Quite useful.

So, after getting nowhere with the support - After suggesting to change my username to something cryptic and insisting that their homegrown, 2FA would prevent attacks. Unless someone would login (which worked without 2FA because the 2FA only is used when moving money), report the card missing, request a new one to a different address and log in with that. Which, you know, is quite likely to happen and be blamed on the customer.

So... I went to cancel my account there - seeing as I could not fulfill my contract as a customer. I've signed to use a minimum password length of 8. I can only use a password length of 5.

Contract void. Sometimes, I love dealing with idiots.

And these people are in charge of billions of money, stock and assets. I think I'll move to... idk, Antarctica?

My bank sent me THREE identical letters for switching my account!
So what do we think, system or user error?

Fuck your clients, right...? A small town bank I’m doing some security work for; I had them create me a test account. I received an email with my password; are you fucking serious...?

So first of all.. Fuck perl.. Actually, that's all I have to say

Friday night push to production before the bank holiday.

No good can come of this.

Just got the darkest mode on devRant and it’s fucking amazing.

The medium darkness looked so gross that I used the whitess mode until I felt like I was blinded by the light and got the darkest theme instead.

My eyes thank me, my bank account doesn’t.😂

Security Horror Story:

A password authenticator which is case-insensitive and all special characters are treated as the same value. As a bonus, all passwords are truncated to 4 characters.

Fuck my internet banking.
My bank just created a "new" version of internet banking which literally looks the same except it freezes my browser all the time. WTF??!!

When you're broke, don't have access to a 3d printer but still wanted to make a raspberry pi portable. Cardboard + power bank is the easiest way

When you spend 5+ minutes creating a secure password for your new bank account and you get a message saying the password must be between 6 and 12 characters long.

Not sure I want to open this account any more.

Fuck me.

When your work alarm goes off on a Bank Holiday Monday because Apple still dont have a feature to disable alarms on Bank Holidays. Cheers Tim.

Am I the only one who doesn't understand apple card? Like really, it's just the worst pitch ever!

"Apple card. Made by apple. Not a bank" that's a REAL ad I saw today. Why would you trust APPLE more than an FDIC insured bank with decades or (in some select cases) CENTURIES of experience in finance?

"No more card numbers and CVV"
Cool. I get it. Card numbers get leaked and stolen. But that's why banks insure cards and reverse fradulant transactions. How an I'm supposed to use it on Amazon?! I'm sure they have an answer. Like maybe one time use generated cards. But they haven't advertised it yet, and that's a problem!

Why do they think people want this!? And even more so, because I've seen some people are excited: WHY DO PEOPLE WANT THIS?! why is apple trying to make everything?!

I had Highway to hell ringing in my ears while I‘ve read an article about Facebook planning to offer their customers a way to connect their bank account to Facebook...

Seems accurate

Today, this made me think: My bank limits the password I can choose to 16 chars, and only letters and numbers are allowed, no special chars. Meanwhile on Typeracer.com I was able to use 60 character password, including numbers, letters and special chars.

So I started getting email notifications telling me about transactions made using my credit card. But I DON'T have a credit card in the first place.

Instead of trying to call customer care and pressing an endless array of buttons, I drive to the bank. I tell them the situation and they check every database they have but they couldn't find any trace of a card connected to my account. Turns out their database somehow had cross-links in their database.
How does the one of the biggest banks in the country possibly have such an issue. Worst part is that it's been a day and they still haven't fixed it -_-

To create a bank that's 99% digital (the 1% is for office space) with no BS charges and kick-ass money management tools.

Me: *Trying to get the mobile banking app*
App: Nope, you have a rooted device
Me: *disables root access for apps and adb*
App: Nope, you have a rooted device
Me: *Maybe a xposed module would help*
Xposed: Nope, you have android nougat
Me: *Maybe there's some LineageOS marshmallow rom for my phone*
LineageOS: Nope, just android 7.1

fml

Supervisor has me making a web app in this badass new stack called the LAP (linux, apache, php) stack because he would he would like the app to be "simple". He's spot on though.. having a three letter acronym saves so much time.... and then we don't need to worry about a database... or querying.... or efficiency.... or even the web app itself because clearly he expects the fucking code gods to come down and turn this piece of shit web app into a fucking masterpiece if he thinks this shit can be done based on a hacked together file management system. Please save me code gods

TL;DR: Why does that online shop NOT support paypal?

I'm a LITTLE pissed.

I wanted to buy some stuff online (since my gf birthday comes closer and I have no city, no car nearby to go shopping) - and this website doesn't support paypal. You know why? Because they had to high fees.

Why on earth don't they do it like any other online shop?! - the user can pay with paypal for a little more % or €.

I don't have an actual credit card but the thing you can get <18yo. Paypal works with it but I can't use any other payment option.

#1 Take French language lessons to revive my long time ago knowledge.

#2 Read as many as I can books on dev topics

#3 Do more outdoor activities (sports)

#4 Liquidate my fucking bank loan

#5 Buy some nice wheels for my car

#6 Try to socialize more

#7 Be part of aiding childrens in need / abandoned ones

My small robot family at an convention of the company I'm working at. We're evaluating how we can use robots in banking. Maybe some day we can put them into a real bank office, but the path is tough because robots sometimes have there own mind and not giving a fuck about what I program them to do...

I don't know what's worse for a freelance dev:

1) Dealing with customers

2) Dealing with the IRS

Bank Teller: So how was your experience in using our online banking service.
Me: (Me looking at his face in awkward way)

Got a mail from bank.
Had the link 'IN THE PICTURE'. The end is near.

!dev && rant

Can we talk about banks? Those fuckers! Suposed to keep our money save and be competent... They today gave me the biggest scare of my live and I've run one an update query on a prod db without a where clause! (Okay I knew we had a backup but still pretty scarry moment!)

As a few know, besides being a dev I help to organize a small openair music festival here in Switzerland. The openair was this weekend. Every thing wen't well, until I checked our ebanking account today. There was only 2/3 of the money that should be there. A quick call to the bank and they told me, nope they never received it. As we've thrown it in a secure locker during the night, we didn't receive any receipt or something like that. It took those fuckers 3.5 hours to actually go and check the looker, just to find the remaining money in the corner of it. What the fuck people, can't you open your fucking eyes and not give me a fucking heartatack? I thought you guys are professionals!

Note locker: we get a key to open it from the outside, place our payment during the night, as soon as we close it, it falls inside a vault, so there it's a pay in only system, for lack of a better word, I called it locker.

My heart is still beating like mad, because of them.

So my dad is watching some movie from the nineties titled "Hackers". Here are some lines from it:

"So I got into a server, looked around, run some commands. Only then did I realize that it was a bank server"
How can you not know what server are you hacking? And how did you later find out that it was a bank? For all you know you might be hacking into somebody's blog.

"
Hacker 1: So how are you gonna hack that database?
Hacker 2: I don't know yet.
H1: I would use a vulnerability in their security
"
That's like saying you would enter a building using the front doors.

Did whoever wrote the script for this movie even consulted somebody that knows at least something about hacking?

Fuck sake, so my bank has been migrating/rolling out new IT system and app/site have been broken for about a week (others noted evidence of devs debugging in production)

Assuming I don't lose my money as some mischievous assholes will inevitably exploit the fuck up, and rob the bank, I will be moving my funds to a different bank...

In mean time I'm trying to prepare for uni, and they're making a ton of semi-random changes in addition to rolling out a site with course details and info along those line, and good fucking god is it bad.

Is is slow as fuck? Check. Does it use never-seen-before naming for standard things? Check! Is the UI pulled from late 90's? YOOU BETCHA! Are the pages bloated with unnecessary content? Fuck yeah! Do I get SQL exceptions when I finally locate my course? Of course I do. Does clicking "back" take me back to the landing page instead of previous page, when I'm several steps deep? .....

I could keep going, but don't feel like ranting and feel more like punching someone in the throat.repeatedly.

Google's shitfuckery - Ep 98465728457982 :

I have never bought anything from Google. However, I use chrome.

So... Google decided to keep details of my bank cards... All of which accounts are now closed but google doesn't know ofc. So it'd be fun to try to purchase with those now! And it doesn't let me switch to app store for my current location, because it needs bank info. Which ofc I'm not giving for purchase of already free apps. (it says "Free" right? Or do we have someone here who doesn't understand the meaning of the word "Free"?)

Even worse, I accidentally switched accounts and now every time I try to open appstore, it comes up with terms and conditions which I decline and it closes the app. Like literally no way of switching back 😂😂😂

And every time I start to think Google is not an info thief... Google proves me wrong.

Watched an action hack movie
Then designed a scenario to sniff around a bank and get the encrypted key and finally extract the key and omg!
I've broke into the bank !!!
But seriously, is it worth trying?
I'm not going to do any thing stupid like even taking a dollar , but is it just the way I thought it is?
Will anything unexpected happen?

Today I explained to my wife why my night stand is a mess, and hers is clean and ordered by using the backend/frontend metaphor.

I am the backend, handling bills, bank accounts, taxes, warranties and all the paperwork.
She is my frontend, handling my social interactions.

Now she hates me, but she admitted I'm right.
She still want me to clean my night stand though.

Whiteboard interviews. Would say "my first whiteboard interviews", but I think they will always have the magic to make developers feel stupid.

so the bank has decided to charge me for sending me the sms notification for the sms- notification-charges

makes sense 🤨 ?

I just received this notification on my phone. Robeco is a large investment bank from The Netherlands. 🤦🏽‍♂️

I'm a terminal-guy. I prefer to live inside my terminal. When my family sees me with the green-on-black, they think I'm up to some nasty stuff like hacking / cracking emails, facebook, bank accounts, etc. Only people who understand to look at the terminal realize it's just a few monitors and log tails running. Sometimes, maybe elinks or vi running as well.

My project manager one time called me while I was waiting in the bank. He told me that the latest changes in the project I was working on were not deployed to production and they were having a meeting to demo those changes to the client later that day.

I had my laptop with me but it wasn't charged. I asked the security guys if I could use the socket used to power up the cleaning/sweeping machines and they didn't mind.

So it was me sitting on the floor in the bank hall using a side socket to power up my laptop holding my cellphone so I can use the hotspot and get internet connection deploying yesterday's changes to a production server.

Eventually, the client didn't attend the meeting that day!

!rant

I’ll be interviewing for a software developer position at a bank today.

What do they like to hear?

There was a competition being run by a large bank in the Netherlands. The competition involved playing a simple game on Facebook to win prizes. After discovering that much of the game logic was client-sided, I used a combination of cheat engine to speed up the clock and auto mouse clicker to keep the games restarting. Turns out I was able to play several thousand games in a few minutes.

2nd mechanical keyboard coming in Friday.. 😁

Banks. Fuck 'em. Worst pay of any industry

Wanted : 6± years native Android experience, senior developer
Pay: $45-48 / hour

I made $50/hour on 2013 and my rates have gone up linearly since.

This earns a big ass WTF from me for BBVA Compass bank

Update on the bank I’m working for: their security is shit and the way they manage customer data and credentials is sickening. On top of it all, there’s about 10 windows XP computers still online not to mention the ATM is running Windows XP. What the flying fuck.

I'm working on a banking app (Android) and I thought: "This is a bank. An important one. They will surely have a good IT department! It will be a joy to work with them"...

Never have I been so wrong!

Oh you want to email me and have me click on the link in order to update my online banking profile. Yes even tho I don't bank with you that seems like a good idea

I started to work in the CreditCard / Bank business a year ago.
Now they stopped the hole server migration project, so I leave again. They could have had it all. Server 2016, SQL 2016, Citrix, Surface Books and so on.
But no, the new shitty projects are more important than security or on what technology the system is build on.

Seems like the FTP Server will run on Windows 2003 forever...

Bank holiday weekend setup...

My new case is finally here!!

After 3 months of effort, 2 rejected visa and 1 (almost) lost fund, it finally arrive just before year's end

Purchased on december 1st, arrived on 29th, and the web tracking is still saying "on transit at Frankfurt", at least it's finally arrived

I used this "digital banking" thing, and my purchase was rejected twice when using visa due to "incorrect billing information", and the bank is not helpful at handling this matter, probably because the billing address is supposed to be the address on my ID card, while on the app there are 2 different usable addresses one is from ID, and one is the current address, and my rejected transaction was stuck on the second attempt, my money was not returned until a month later

Finally succeded when I used the same visa through paypal

Good print quality, the material's a bit unsatisfactory though, either it's weathered/damaged during transport, or it's just the way it is, the plastic edges doesn't "snap" perfectly along the silicon bumpers

All in all, it's a nice way to start the year, Happy New Year!!

!dev

Fuck you, money.

Today I found out that I have a negative amount of money on my credit card, and now I guess I owe money to the credit card company. I can't pay for my gym, I can't pay tuition, can't shop. Nothing. Got 1K in the bank account and almost 3K debt on the card. The sorry-ass job I have in college isn't enough and because of some STUPID PAPERWORK I'm stripped naked by the income tax until I get it right, and it will take another MONTH until I have my money back retroactively. Now I gotta take a loan from my girlfriend to cover this shit up.

I remember I set it up like this so I won't have a negative amount of money on my bank account (for the rent to be paid on time) but now I'm fucked in a (w)hole different way.

FUCK YOU, MONEY!!!

It seems like sensitive websites that need more priority to work fine are the ones that do not. I'm talking about government, school, bank, & service provider sites. Or it's just my retarded country.

FUCK EVERY PERSON IN THIS SHIT BANK!! FFS THE IDIOTS CREATED A NEW DATABASE USING SQL SERVER 2008! Yes, 2008 and its a new database if it was some type of legacy I could try to understand, but this shit is a completely new database. I have to use sequelize and guess what? It can't paginate results because shit server 2008 does not accept OFFSET FETCH syntax

New experience.
Went to bank at an unknown location all alone for first time and completed tons of pending work with the bank. In all, was worth 4 hours of struggling.
Being a Dev, I really feel bad how much the employee struggle to cope up with banking softwares and consider it as a gigantic task which for us is like the easiest task. Using mostly clicks and number pads and rarely any software updates.
I wonder why there isn't a proper training provided that would make them realise how simple it is to use banking proprietary softwares.
Or are we lagging behind to provide even better UX to banking employees.

“Crypto currency bank” are you serious?

So trello is down. I need to see my tasks so I know what to work on...

Now, I just reload trellos page every 2 minutes... Bored...

Earlier today it was my bank that was down.

Good day.

There is this friend of mine, total business profile, working in banking audit for MNEs. The guy is in trouble with his PowerPoint, asking me if I can assist because "as you working in IT". I'm a Golang distributed system engineer for a major delivery company. Be sure I will call you next time I need to open a bank account.

🤦Is it too early to make the hack of the year nominations?

Guyz let hack this
Here is the tea

A house wife forgot her bank 'ATM PIN' which is a four digit number, but luckily she remembered some hints on how to recall this 'PIN'
Here are some of the clues
(1) The 1st digit is half of the 2nd
(2) The sum of the 2nd and 3rd is 10
(3) The 4th is equal to the 2nd plus 1
(4) The sum of all the digits is 23

What is the ATM PIN ?

Totally didn't know today's a bank holiday . No one's in... Today 😅 ooops

What fun can you have in a huge empty building 🤔

Official app of bank

Just started today with Python 3. I don't know but I really start to like the language. Its not to difficult and it has nice syntax. Currently I'm working on a little financial overview generator. It parses the CSV file from my bank and sorts it into categories. Really fun to make. Do you guys made some nice projects in python?

Started a new job on Monday. STILL DON'T HAVE ACCESS TO THE FUCKING SERVERS I NEED TO ANYTHING. Holy fucking shit I'm annoyed. Fuck you corporate bullshit. I already feel like quitting.

So I just got a mail from a bank.
The email address ended with .gmbh

If people want to make phishing emails then please use at least a fucking viable email address

Read my client's local bank API (80's 😰) documentation and fucking pray for him to accept Stripe !!!!!

I was supposed to have an interview for a software developer internship at a bank today, but they rescheduled last minute due to a "time conflict". This was to be my first summer internship interview. As if they didn't put me under enough stress already... Now I find out all my stress all week long was for naught.

God fucking dammit.

docker service scale serviceID=5

If only scaling my bank balance were as simple as docker swarm scaling !

I work for a big bank. I'm going to say pretty much the entire Support team is incompetent.

Oh something went wrong? Escalate to devs... cuz we have no idea wtf to do and don't have the most basic technical problem solving skills...

Bunch of useless monkeys... btw guess what time it is now? And what I'm doing?

Mondo, the bank being set up by software devs is going through a name change... and is asking for suggestions, all in favour of Money McMoneyBank

Wow or wtf to these banks API. was integrating an API for a service which accept JSON input.
Okay fair enough, that would be fine
Spent an hour writing code(purescript) most of time spent was on writing Types based on the API doc. after that okay let me test the API it failed.
I was what happened? So tested the API from postman with the payload from the doc, it worked. What how?
used a JSON diff to compare the payload from postman and the log. Looked same to me after spending few hours checking what is wrong with it .trying changing value to pasting the body of the log request in postman and trying everything failed.
Later went to the original working payload provided by them and changing the order. It started throwing error. I was like wait what?
It must be only on there UAT. created a payload with production creds and hoping to our production server (they have IP whitelist) ran the curl with proper payload as expected it worked. Later for same payload changed the order or one key and tried it failed.
Just why????
I don't want to create a JSON with keys on specific order. Also it's not even sorted order.

The client portal of the biggest bank in SA is down.

I took a break, because if they website is down, who cares about my minor bugs? 😀

Last 24 hrs have been fucking bad for me. No electricity for almost 22 hours and the inverter died after 12 hours. The foods gone bad in fridge, have been away from almost everything. My phone was at 10%, luckily power bank saved me but now power bank is almost empty (because mi has a huge battery and power bank was only 75%). Don't know what fucking bad things gonna happen now.

hi sirs im new on this public forum with thousands of witnesses so could u learn me how to haxor bank acounts? i heard u can make alot of money with it thx u

Guy: can you help me rob a bank using HTML?
Me: 😐

CVS, in my first job in a bank. Linus Torvalds approves this post.

Thoughts on Apple making their own processors for Macs. Ready, go!

Once I had an interview where in the last part the cto of the bank asked me a question about the history of my country instead of a appropriate programming one. Of course I couldn't answer and got nervous but I still want to punch that motherfucker in the face.

Had been to an interview today. It was renowned Bank which was hiring for a position of SSE.

You know what!! I was not allowed inside the building because I was not carrying my original driving license with me. What the fuck?? 😡😠Even traffic police won't ask for an original license!! (at least in India)

Just found out today via Reddit that Wells Fargo, American Express (not personally confirmed), and Chase login passwords are NOT case sensitive!

I would check your bank too!

1) clicking on the wk141 tag wouldnt show the wk140 rants
2) big titty mafia mommy gf
3) when i buy something i always have the exact price on my bank account

So it's Friday afternoon just before a bank holiday weekend here I'm the UK, perfect time for our production database to go TITSUP (total inability to support usual performance), life sucks then you die folks....

At a previous job I had, there was a bug in the payment code, we did not know anything was wrong until the customer support team began receiving some crazy emails stating that our company emptied their bank account. Then we investigated further and thousands of customers had their banks emptied. So the payment team went big hunting, found the problem to eliminate further chaos.

Unfortunately the person responsible for this huge screw up was not fired immediately, but did resign soon there after.

Been complaining about my banks app for a while, I finally decide to change when I suddenly get (my first real dev job btw) job in another bank. My third task you ask? Well they did not have the same issue, but wanted me to fix it even better. (I love this job alreaddy)

Do it yourself people!

Soon...
Soon I shall reveal my superweapon... one machine to rule them all!
Fear me! Cuz i had spend money!

Here in my country banks doesn't have a public API to access your bank account extract, 3 years later we make some bots to extract these data to an API

When some random customer of one if our (bank) clients tweeted about receiving money to their mobile money account in less than a minute (while it was like an hour before we built an API for that shit). Knowing I was the dev that made that happen made my heart melt

I'm working on a project with ~1TB of data. Are there any good options for hosting that won't break the bank and aren't localhost? 😅

I had to create an account on a website. I used LastPass to generate a strong password. I entered it and got the following message:
"Password must be between 8 and 16 characters and must have special characters (? , ! & #) and numbers"
My password was 20 characters, me annoyed to generate a 16 character password. Filled it in and got the same error. That was it for me.
Who dafuq limits a password to 16 characters, that's fucking nothing. It did not accept all special characters, only the ones that were showed (like 5 or so).
And here comes the worst part...
It's a bank website! I had to create the most most most insecure password in history for it to work.

I'm about to do my bachelor thesis in Interaction Design. I've got to design a banking/pocket money app for kids 8-14y for a swiss bank.

And I have no idea where to beginn with it. What is needed? What do kids like? And is a banking app for kids in demand at all? Parents? Where do I get kids to talk to without beeing a creep who stands with sweets in front of the kindergarden? 😧

A UK bank (building society) are giving away a free home security camera if you take out their home insurance product.

Seriously!? I do NOT want to install a camera, given to me by my bank, in my flat!

My company boss just changed the holiday rules...

Previously we had 2 Saturday off + 2 casual leaves and bank holidays...

Now as rule we did holiday on Monday, so he is i think angry or something...

He told us now no Saturday off, no bank holiday... Only we will get 2 leaves... That's alll...

I think it's time to Quit... Right?

IBM Websphere stack (Rational, Portal, etc)...I had to use it in my first job in a bank. A very disgusting pack of shit software...From these days i hate IBM with passion.

Still waiting for the day when my bank finally stop using flash 😢

My (junior) colleague gives me an existential crisis as he builds a fabric.js clone from scratch up in very little time.

Then he tells me he forgot his 4 digit bank pin he's be using for 7 years.

Huge mistake on a customer billing procedure.
That procedure was generating a file for automatic billing requests from our customer bank to his customers banks.
That procedure was shifting the bank coordinates by one byte right making all payment requests invalid and rejected.
That month the customer got nothing from invoices (more or less 80k euros).
Side note; only one payment was accepted because the guy entering the invoice on the system shifted the bank coordinates by mistake, so the procedure fixed it.

:/

I sit in a cubicle and I update bank software for the 2000 switch. You see, they wrote all this bank software and to save space, they put 98 instead of 1998. So I go through these thousands of lines of code and uh, it doesn't really matter. I, uh, I don't like my job. I don't think I'm gonna go anymore.

Jesus fucking christ! I've been hired by this bank to improve the quality of their online banking software. Zero unit tests and I'm tasked to make it testable as much as possible.

Guess what? Almost the whole fucking codebase uses static classes everywhere!!! Good luck unit testing that.... what a bummer. It is a challenge though.

programming is like robbing a bank; without proper preplanning you wont finish the job and get money

Why is it that the most stupid sales mofo always asks me to sign the back of my credit card?
Gtfo, I don't wanna.
I should sue all of these shops if anyone ever steals from my bank account, cuz all of them have a copy of my signature.

Had my dev job described as a "computer, desk job" in a condescending tone yesterday by a guy trying to convince me to join his pyramid scheme....
// TODO: come up with awesome rant about this so I can look badass

It's done. Agile has taken over my life. The other day I looked outside and thought, "As a user, I can stand on my lawn without my feet disappearing." And that's how I decided to mow my lawn.