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Fuck today was weird.
Today I received almost half a million on my bank account. 😯
Someone changed the ancient cryptic billing system. My user account at work has id 32 in the database, and the dev referenced the size of the creditor id instead of the of the value of the ids itself, and they're u32 ints... So ALL the money moving through our platform was accidentally transferred to my associated bank account.
For all the unit tests we have, this bug tumbled right through.
And no one at finances thought a transfer that big, to a backend dev they know by name, was suspicious — with almost no money going to other creditors...
That worries me a bit. The fact that this shit can happen, even at high test coverage, just because someone mindlessly did a wrong autocomplete or something.
Of course I will send it back... after two weeks and a few hundred € of interest.13 -
> finds awesome software
> finishes trial period
> looks at pricing
> looks at bank account
> cries in a corner24 -
I made a web app and a mobile app for a client two months ago. Yesterday I shut down the server because I wasn't paid yet despite my multiple warnings and reminders.
Under thirty minutes the money was in my bank account.
Sad thing is they weren't responding to me, ignoring or lullabying me with good cop bad cop acts, acting like friends etc...
Lowering my bar to people / agencies like this depresses me.
Btw they are my former agency, they have all the money in the world but turns out they are all jackasses after all...
17 -
I'm 22 and professional COBOL developer working for a bank, would love to move but money is good.
33 -
I recently won a "Hack the Bank" competition where I had to hack an ATM and withdraw a large sum of money.
But what's funny, is that after the competition ended, the organizers installed Kali on the actual ATM.
20 -
Python. Changed a function to return a tuple instead of one value in some database code. Tests pass, gets deployed, everything works. End of the month comes. Suddenly, we get a report that we're draining people's bank accounts and credit cards.
It turns out there was an untested bit of code inside the billing process that used this function. It used the function that was changed. To make matters worse, when the exception was thrown, the billing had already completed successfully, and due to another unrelated bug it would retry despite this.
So, needless to say, type safety and good unit tests are things I prioritize nowadays.7 -
Coworker: Can you create program for me?
Me: What this "program" going to do?
Coworker: Hack bank network and send me money. Can you make it for Android?
😆😆😆7 -
"It must work in IE6, we still use it in our offices."
While developing a JavaScript web app for a bank with 10 000+ employees. In 2014.9 -
This month's expenses:
- Computer parts to build a new computer.
- Separate video card.
- Hex monitor stand.
- 6 (second hand) monitors
I'm so sorry for my bank account 😥30 -
Fucking Axis Bank ATM
Card swipe
--> Slow GIF
--> Select your transaction
--> Slow GIF
--> Select your account type
--> Slow GIF
--> Enter your amount
--> Slow GIF
--> Enter your pin
--> Slow GIF
--> Slow GIF
--> Slow GIF
--> Unable to dispense money12 -
On the first class of cryptography professor says, "Hackers are people who dropped out of school, didn't obey their parents and turned to drugs and alcohol and steal money from people by hacking their facebook."
Then goes on to say, "People tend to keep their birthdate as their debit card's PIN so hacker checks their facebook account, finds their birthdate and goes to ATM machine and hacks their bank account."
I was speechless.7 -
You want to know what fucking pisses me off? This fucking router thinking it can just inject itselft and redirect into any fucking page that it wants..my fucking bank account? Yep, my fucking google docs? YEP, Fucking CSGO? YOU BET BRO
23 -
I was trying to get some cash from an ATM. Instead of vending bank notes as it should, this happened...
I still need that cash...
12 -
My dev superpower would be the power to magically refill anything.
Out of hot coffee? Refill your thermos!
Bank account running low? Refill with money!
Battery empty? Refill with charge!
Going bald like me? Refill your head with hair!
Bed empty? Refill with beautiful women!
Clients / managers annoying you? Refill their bladders!
The possibilites are limitless!7 -
I literally cringed today when my neighbor wanted help installing an app, she didn't tell me it was her banking app... And the thing I needed to help with was logging in... So she told me her bank details...
Even though I said (multiple times) it was dangerous to do so, and that she can't just trust people with this kind of information...
WHY ARE PEOPLE SO GOD DAMN STUPID WHEN IT COMES TO SECURITY!9 -
Oh boy...
So my mom just responded to an email saying her email account would be deleted if she didn't respond to it by typing in her email address...
And the password to that email address, her SSN, and her bank account number. Now I have to fix it. For crying out loud...4 -
Didnt expect a reputable bank to do testing in this manner. Damn you Axis Bank, your system is supposed to be the best. Smh. 😩
1 -
From the director of the department within a large investment bank: "We will be looking into converting all Java code to Cobol because it is easier to work with".
Needless to say I started looking for a new job that night.6 -
Best and worst customer I've had: A bank.
Great because they had so much money for projects.
Unbearable because everything needed to work in IE6.6 -
Me: So what you are doing in the IT field?
Him: I am hacking bank websites.
Me: OK, that's cool. It is good in free time. What is your actual job?
Him: I am seriously hacking the bank Web site!
Me: Trust me, if you seriously doing that you will never ever mentioned it...
Him: No, I am doing it legally... The bank hiring me to try to hack the website...
Me: OK, you mean that you are cyber security tester?
Him: That is almost the same...
Me: So you are tester?
Him: I am hacking bank's websites...
Me:....7 -
Gets an email from office facilities.
Email - A package has been received under your name, please collect it at the mail room in the 5th floor.
Me (excited as hell) - Yay! My devRant stickers are finally here!!!!
Gets to the mail room as fast as she could only to find that the stupid package was a stupid promotional offer from a stupid bank sending me a stupid credit card that I never even asked for. That entire day was a disappointment :-(
When am I getting my stickers! It's been ages!8 -
My summer internship adventures
Cunt Boss: you will receive salary and a bonus at the end of the project
Me: *works for 3 months*
Cunt Boss: *sends 60 fucking euros to my bank account*
Me: is that just the bonus?
Cunt Boss: oh I'm sorry, we have some financial troubles here and that's all I can give you
Thanks! Now I can buy you a dildo so you can go fuck yourself11 -
I always feel awkward asking for large quantities of $1s from the bank. I'm addicted to the snack machine, not strippers!11
-
Presenting the inside of Xiaomi 5200 mAh power bank!
P.S. I tried Snapseed for photo editing and it's really nice ☺
6 -
1. Unlimited money on bank account
2. Give me master degree
3. Disable remote desktop as “secure environment” at my workplace25 -
A major bank had a bug in their system that triggered multiple postings of transactions in all of their clients' accounts. When they found out the root cause, they just had to mention that the programmer was a female. Like that was any bearing to the problem. It's not like they have like a whole fucking team of QA testers that should have checked that shit before it went to production.14
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You're a flippin bank, and your public website has an invalid cert!? WTF. No, I'm done, and I don't trust you with my money either.
11 -
Everybody is talking about react, angular, Vue etc, and here I am, fixing ie7-8 website compatibility for a financial-bank institution.10
-
Its amazing walking to a big bank building which you networked and you know where each cable passes to and you remember where you took shortcuts
-
My dad got a job at TD (bank)
We where talking about their computers and stuff. Then we started talking about passwords.
Keeping in mind that this is a bank....
Here is their password rule:
6-12 char long
All lower case
Only letters and numbers
(Passwords are stored on a legacy system)
Why?
Why should I trust that bank??
And also.. how do they expect to be extremely secure??10 -
Honestly? People. For the first two years of my career I worked for an investment bank.. Basically working to make rich people richer. That, plus the technology sucked, made me change what I do.
I now work for a company that, while it doesn't cure cancer, it makes products that my friends use, my family uses, even my 1 year old son uses. And knowing I am making a difference in their life in even just a little way is worth it.
Also now that I have a family and a kid, my priorities have shifted and as much as I love coding, my family and kid will always come first now. Could I be making more at an investment bank where I worked 12 hour shifts every day? Sure. But it's not worth it to me.3 -
If someone wants to violate my Facebook account he needs my password, the key I receive in my phone, and to know all the faces in my friendlist.
If someone wants to violate my bank account and spend all my money, he needs my password.9 -
Guy I just met: so what do you do?
Me: I'm a developer
Guy: no way! I work for a software company so... (goes on to talk for 10 minutes trying to show off his knowledge of software)
Me: so what do you do there?
Guy: sales
Me: oh...
Just because you work for a software company does not mean you know shit about software. Don't try to build some erroneous common ground with me because you walked by a developer's desk one time, looked at his or her screen, and magically thought you could understand code.18 -
I've secured my first software developer job at a large bank in the UK after doing Java Developer training for the last 3 months. I'm so happy!2
-
Did you hear of the story of the fucked up data migration at the british bank TSB? People can't access their money for a week now. And people see the accounts of other bank custumers. The CEO had to call IBM for help.
https://theguardian.com/business/...3 -
At work for a bank, I changed the target SQL Server in my SSIS project and arbitrarily, all my custom-coded scripts were erased!!
I didn't take backups and I spent a week coding them! Fuuuuuuuuuckkkkk 😠
Ended up rewriting them.
I learned my lesson... 😥3 -
Just found this little gem when I ducked RBL.. must be a super high quality bank with that meta description :3
2 -
GF's brother, Connel (a seaman), knows I work in IT
Connel: you hack computers, right?
Me: not really. I'm more of a developer for businesses
Connel: can you hack banks like [insert name of local bank]? We can hack other people's passwords and make tons of money *laughs hysterically*
Me: (a bit awkward) probably. it depends
Connel: but you can really do it, right?
Me: uhm, maybe. It depends
Connel: but you can do it if you choose to, right?
*this went over for next 5 mins*4 -
Any Rick & Morty's fans in here? These are my new stickers for my power bank.
(Sorry for the shitty quality my camera lens is broken)
9 -
You run a bank with over 10million customers and can't handle a nullpointerexception error.And java ssly.
19 -
Switched banks, got new e-banking, unable to set up a new password.
It contains invalid characters.
IT'S A FUCKING BANK ACCOUNT I SHOULD BE ABLE TO USE HASHTAGS OR EVEN HAVE FUCKING SPACES IN IT IF I FEEL LIKE IT.7 -
Supervisor: so you're going to write a perl script that will compile a jar that will be used to invoke a web service
Me: okay. What does the web service do?...
Supervisor: I'm not sure how it works. It'll just return a success or error code
Me: so I'm just going to invoke a black box?
Supervisor: that's a good way to think of it
Me: so how does the qa process work with this black box/how can we debug?
Supervisor: we don't have qa for it and we can't debug
What the fuck?!?!? You expect me to call a literal fucking black fucking box?!?! This isn't lambda calc you jabroni.2 -
This big multi-million consulting company hired me as freelance. They did it in a hurry, because "the project already started, it is a very important client (a bank) and we need your expertise by YESTERDAY".
In the first THREE WEEKS I had meetings with their own project managers, their client's project managers, techies, sales people. No one was able to tell me what do I have to do, but:
1 - they asked me for very detailed estimates plus a release plan
2 - f**k your estimates, we need this BY JANUARY 16th4 -
Worst security issue : being able to make a money transfer with no auth and changing freely the bank account in the POST params...
Dev excuse : "I didn't know my job was also to take care about security."2 -
Taxi driver: "So what course you studying?"
Me: "Software Engineering"
Taxi driver: "Oh, so you know how to hack Facebook and people's bank accounts?"
Me: *facepalm*5 -
CAN YOU PLEASE UPDATE TO 2018!!!
My bank just sent me a message, that they have a new service where you can send a private message to your banker.
I needed to transfer money, and didn't have my cheque book on me, so I sent him a message to please transfer XX dollars to account YY.
His response?
Please send us a fax.
A FAX?? ARE YOU SERIOUS??
And that is supposed to be more secure than a private message from your website, after you force me to change my password every 90 days with crazy requirements that only satisfy hackers???
I told my friend that he will get his money when the bank updates the century they live in ...13 -
My Father is an old bank accountant. So he knows that, behind their mainframe screens there are ugly code stuff and I deal with them.
When I try to talk about my job, Mother's eyes grow in awe. She thinks of me as a sci-fi character.
As my career goes very well, my wife thinks I'm so skillful that I must be like the architect guy at Matrix.
Mother-In-Law and Father-In-Law: A mix of my wife and mother.
They are all proud and happy, so am i.2 -
Finally got access to repo in my new work place (bank). Now I'm considering keeping my money buried somewhere instead of using bank accounts...5
-
You fucking son of a bitch!
First you make me do a project in two fucking months, and that's a fucking job-load for only one dev to deliver a SPA with payments and whatsoever.
Then you pushed me to accelerate deployment date and there I am, getting tired and using time I don't have.
But oh no, you prick, that wasn't enough, you had to do just one thing. YOU HAD TO DO ONE FUCKING THING!
What's that? Oh, sorry, I thought I overheard that you wanted to accept online payments but YOU'RE NOT FUCKING SIGNED UP, YOUR BUSSINESS IS NOT LEGAL UNTIL YOU REGISTER IT.
Motherfucker, I can't do anything, you better fucking register your bussiness if you want this to work the way it's supposed to do. -
I got selected for a dev job at a bank and I received a form on email to fill up and come with the hard copy to do the documentation etc.
HR girl: I can't understand what you wrote in the form.
Me: Yeah, I don't usually write things these days with a pen.
HR: So when was the last time you actually wrote anything.
Me: I think it was at a bank. I filled a form.
HR: Nice one!
Me: Oh!6 -
Average Joe:
1.searches how to save money for child college education.
2. Creates a bank account and starts to save , small amount of money from his income.
3. After 18 years, after all the hardwork finally pays the tuition fees to his child.
Dev:
1. Creates a website"Child Savings 101"
2. Monetize it
3. After 18 years, pays the tuition fees.2 -
I used to work for a Mexican bank in Mexico, as a developer I opened (and use) an account, since the bank was not famous(most of its business was with the government), going to the bank and see no waiting lines was an advantage, so I started using it as my only bank account even nowadays.
Now I live in NYC, and some years later I see on the news the bank merged(was absorbed) with another bank, 'sounds good, I don't care' I thought.
Well, I open my online account and the nightmare begins:
1) Redirection to the 2nd bank page
2) My credentials does not work
3) Call the original bank(no answers)
4) After several calls and days I got a phone contact
5) 'well, try all other passwords you have' (transaction passwords, operative passwords, login passwords, etc), among many other stupid answers, which by the way, were preceded by infinite question about the 2nd bank, like:
- when did you open the account with the 2nd bank?
- what is your 2nd bank account number
6) after 20 calls like that, they asked for documents, information and screenshots, and send all that to the 2nd bank tech help email.
7) After several days a person responded: 'Go to your bank(which fucking bank?)' and ask for a new user.
8) a ton of calls to know what bank I was assigned
9) called the bank: 'well, you have to come in person(no exceptions allowed) and request to close your 1st bank account and open a 2nd bank account' (I am not sure if that is gonna work)
All the technology nowadays and still I have to travel thousands of miles hoping this 'solution' works.
to be continue....3 -
Mom asked me one question.
How money transfer from one bank to another?
It was longest communication we ever had in few months.
I am happy for that question.
😊😊😊😊6 -
I am beyond speechless. My Bank forces me to use a password that consists of EXACTLY 8 characters, and at least one small character, one big and one number. Oh, and it should not be identical to the last 5 passwords.
What's the best part about this?
THEY HAVE A FUCKING METER TO MEASURE YOUR PASSWORD STRENGTH. FUCKING HYPOCRITES!
Not even a 2 factor makes via sms can make me feel save when you have such a big pile of shit behind it13 -
Funny thing just happened. I called my bank to verify my card with Apple Pay. Here’s how it went:
> Calls bank with number supplied by phone.
> “Thank you for calling [Bank] Bank!”
> ...
> A minute passes and still ringing
> wtf.jpg
> About thirty seconds in and the ring seems fainter than before.
> [2:00] is it just me or is my speaker dying...
> [3:00] no, it’s definitely getting quieter.
> [3:30] why is no one picking up???
> [4:00] now it’s so bad I have to hold it to my ear
> [4:30] now it’s blending in with the white noise
> [4:45] yeah, no. This is only static now.
> [5:00] this’ll be good for DevRant...
> calls again
> same thing happens
> ohwell.mov
Let’s try again tomorrow, I guess.
Edit: like always, I forgot the picture
10 -
I know many shitheads who are concerned about privacy and all show off with #DeleteFacebook trend without knowing the details.
But the same people aren't hesitant to share their information offline with a complete stranger while filling up forms at any event, bank, saloon or mall for follow up spam e-mails, telephone calls and messages.
Sometimes people are the problem and not these corporations.
We are surrounded by stupid fucktards and morons.
Be prepared, alert and aware of the surroundings because future is full of retards.6 -
So I just got this email from a tech company, I registered to send my CV some years ago , about a dev Job openning.
The descripition included:
Java and Angular ( first red flag )
So I go to their site to check it out ...
No https, ping the domain returns an ip from another continent with 500+ ms latency.
Major flaws on the site usability...
Super dumb password recovery method...
I'm fucking outta here dude. I might send them a proposition to fix their servers and at least put it behind letsencrypt though...
And these morons have big clients, like my bank... wtf...4 -
Fuck sake :(
So I just checked my bank to find out I'm in an extra £300 debt because my fucking letting agency took my rent AFTER I MOVED IT FOR £98 BECAUSE I COULDN'T AFFORD IT.
Why the fuck is the world throwing turd after steaming turd at me, first the streets, then family, then job, then debt, now a constant barrage of shit. Just feel like ending it now so I don't have to deal with this shit anymore, fuck the human race and the shithole upside down society they've made :'(7 -
Fuck Flipkart (online shopping website)
I was trying to order a laptop, tried 3 times because it was showing "some technical error" and order didn't get placed.
Later I checked my bank account balance.
The fucking amount is deducted from my fucking bank account.
I'm gonna insert bulldozer into their fucking asses.6 -
who here has worked for a bank?
without naming names? what was the scariest thing they did, like, bad code, bad security, etc, that you had to fix
always wanted to be a fly on the wall of the devs office for a bank...11 -
Rate my setup ...
Runs with:
-10050 power bank
-Rasp. pi 3 B+
-Shitty mouse
-amoled display (S7 edge)
8 -
WTF freelancer, just won a design contest and it’s so fucking hard to withdraw the money to my bank account.
“There is some invalid bank details in your withdraw request, please confirm with your bank”
I never withdraw money before so i have to wait 15 days for my first withdrawal for each withdrawal methods.
The first method (express withdrawal with no fees) was failed because the bank details issue, talk with the cs and they told me to confirm to my bank, confirmed and tried again (only 1 or 2 days waiting time) but still failed, been trying this 3 times.
Trying the second method a.k.a wire transfer, i have confirmed the bank about what details are required to receive money from overseas first so i can prevent some stupid errors.
Wait another 15 days and ...
STILL FAILED WITH SAME PROBLEM
FUCK
This is the first time i regret when i won something.
ＦＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵ6 -
My laptop is a useless piece of shit when it isn't plugged. All I want is a slim box that I could bring almost everywhere I go! How long do your laptops' batteries last?27
-
I've been dragged out of the house by my parents cos it's bank holiday.... I'm now in a place called a Guar-denn center looking at green stuff??! Reminds me of grass from Skyrim but it's too detailed..... And it's sunny too....
And I'm 30... FML3 -
Went to the ATM to get some cash.. entered an amount of 800 INR and to my surprise got an error saying "Your account does not have sufficient funds for this transaction" .. Instantly thought that my account has somehow been compromised.. checked the bank app and found out that I everything was normal..
As it turns out the ATM machine did not have 500 or 100 INR notes, thus it could not dispense my requested amount..
Now that's what we call a "Good" error handling..4 -
had an issue where our clients payment gateway would duplicate the charge (at the gateway...not at the application) before sending it to the bank officially - the bank would detect the duplication then void both charges.
the gateway service admitted this was a bug, the bank it was tied to admitted it was a bug - but they wouldnt fix it. so my solution was to send a special uid with the original transaction (put it in a special field) and had the bank track that one as the "known good"
the funny thing? next version of the gateway api included this as a feature, but i got no credit.1 -
A Bank Account Number is like a public encryption key. Any random person needs it to send me money. Why does it seem like banks treat it as a secret or even use it to confirm my identity? It's literally printed in plain text on every check.2
-
Recently, my friend and I participated in a hackathon and had the chance of building my very first Dapp. We call it FarmerChain. FarmerChain has a module called Farmer Bank. It's a simple wallet type contract simulating a "bank". I'd love some feedback from you guys. Any critiques/suggestions/ everything is welcome. Source code https://github.com/imshubhamsingh/...
15 -
The one that made me quit was when I was told I had to drive to the data centre and do a backup every day over the bank holiday weekend with no extra pay or time off. For no reason. And yes I know I'm an idiot for doing it but whatever.
The one that made me walk out, a month and a half later, was when I came in on Monday morning to discover that my boss had entirely rewritten the code I had spent literal months on in one weekend. Naturally he'd broken it and said it was an improvement.2 -
Fuck your clients, right...? A small town bank I’m doing some security work for; I had them create me a test account. I received an email with my password; are you fucking serious...?3
-
So... did I mention I sometimes hate banks?
But I'll start at the beginning.
In the beginning, the big bang created the universe and evolution created humans, penguins, polar bea... oh well, fuck it, a couple million years fast forward...
Your trusted, local flightless bird walks into a bank to open an account. This, on its own, was a mistake, but opening an online bank account as a minor (which I was before I turned 18, because that was how things worked) was not that easy at the time.
So, yours truly of course signs a contract, binding me to follow the BSI Grundschutz (A basic security standard in Germany, it's not a law, but part of some contracts. It contains basic security advice like "don't run unknown software, install antivirus/firewall, use strong passwords", so it's just a basic prototype for a security policy).
The copy provided with my contract states a minimum password length of 8 (somewhat reasonable if you don't limit yourself to alphanumeric, include the entire UTF 8 standard and so on).
The bank's online banking password length is limited to 5 characters. So... fuck the contract, huh?
Calling support, they claimed that it is a "technical neccessity" (I never state my job when calling a support line. The more skilled people on the other hand notice it sooner or later, the others - why bother telling them) and that it is "stored encrypted". Why they use a nonstandard way of storing and encrypting it and making it that easy to brute-force it... no idea.
However, after three login attempts, the account is blocked, so a brute force attack turns into a DOS attack.
And since the only way to unblock it is to physically appear in a branch, you just would need to hit a couple thousand accounts in a neighbourhood (not a lot if you use bots and know a thing or two about the syntax of IBAN numbers) and fill up all the branches with lots of potential hostages for your planned heist or terrorist attack. Quite useful.
So, after getting nowhere with the support - After suggesting to change my username to something cryptic and insisting that their homegrown, 2FA would prevent attacks. Unless someone would login (which worked without 2FA because the 2FA only is used when moving money), report the card missing, request a new one to a different address and log in with that. Which, you know, is quite likely to happen and be blamed on the customer.
So... I went to cancel my account there - seeing as I could not fulfill my contract as a customer. I've signed to use a minimum password length of 8. I can only use a password length of 5.
Contract void. Sometimes, I love dealing with idiots.
And these people are in charge of billions of money, stock and assets. I think I'll move to... idk, Antarctica?4 -
My bank sent me THREE identical letters for switching my account!
So what do we think, system or user error?
6 -
Just got the darkest mode on devRant and it’s fucking amazing.
The medium darkness looked so gross that I used the whitess mode until I felt like I was blinded by the light and got the darkest theme instead.
My eyes thank me, my bank account doesn’t.😂6 -
Security Horror Story:
A password authenticator which is case-insensitive and all special characters are treated as the same value. As a bonus, all passwords are truncated to 4 characters.2 -
When you're broke, don't have access to a 3d printer but still wanted to make a raspberry pi portable. Cardboard + power bank is the easiest way
2 -
TL;DR:
Bunq gave a fitting sentence to a 18 year old for DDoS'ing them.
source(dutch): https://tweakers.net/nieuws/129639/...
dutch:
Fintechbank' Bunq heeft bekendgemaakt dat een 18-jarige man die achter een grootschalige ddos-aanval op de bank zat, zich vrijwillig bij een kantoor van Bunq heeft gemeld. De bank en de man zijn overeengekomen dat hij voor straf een week vrijwilligerswerk bij Amnesty International moet doen.
Fintechbank' Bunq has announced that an 18 year old man has voluntarily reported to be the one behind a big DDoS against the bank. The bank and the man agreed to the sentence of a week of volunteer work for Amnesty intornational.
My addition:
That's how it can be done too!
It's a lot closer to what I see as just punishment for a DDoS compared to going to jail for years.
Bunq it took balls to show such leinancy and I do applaud you for it.5 -
So I started getting email notifications telling me about transactions made using my credit card. But I DON'T have a credit card in the first place.
Instead of trying to call customer care and pressing an endless array of buttons, I drive to the bank. I tell them the situation and they check every database they have but they couldn't find any trace of a card connected to my account. Turns out their database somehow had cross-links in their database.
How does the one of the biggest banks in the country possibly have such an issue. Worst part is that it's been a day and they still haven't fixed it -_-7 -
When you spend 5+ minutes creating a secure password for your new bank account and you get a message saying the password must be between 6 and 12 characters long.
Not sure I want to open this account any more.
Fuck me.6 -
Fuck my internet banking.
My bank just created a "new" version of internet banking which literally looks the same except it freezes my browser all the time. WTF??!!4 -
My small robot family at an convention of the company I'm working at. We're evaluating how we can use robots in banking. Maybe some day we can put them into a real bank office, but the path is tough because robots sometimes have there own mind and not giving a fuck about what I program them to do...
14 -
“I accidentally e-mailed my bank ‘delete’ and they lost everybody’s accounts. I’m sorry i’m just learning banking.”
“The latest Ethereum Parity wallet disaster”
https://davidgerard.co.uk/blockchai...10 -
When your work alarm goes off on a Bank Holiday Monday because Apple still dont have a feature to disable alarms on Bank Holidays. Cheers Tim.2
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I had Highway to hell ringing in my ears while I‘ve read an article about Facebook planning to offer their customers a way to connect their bank account to Facebook...
Seems accurate2 -
#1 Take French language lessons to revive my long time ago knowledge.
#2 Read as many as I can books on dev topics
#3 Do more outdoor activities (sports)
#4 Liquidate my fucking bank loan
#5 Buy some nice wheels for my car
#6 Try to socialize more
#7 Be part of aiding childrens in need / abandoned ones2 -
Today, this made me think: My bank limits the password I can choose to 16 chars, and only letters and numbers are allowed, no special chars. Meanwhile on Typeracer.com I was able to use 60 character password, including numbers, letters and special chars.9
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Supervisor has me making a web app in this badass new stack called the LAP (linux, apache, php) stack because he would he would like the app to be "simple". He's spot on though.. having a three letter acronym saves so much time.... and then we don't need to worry about a database... or querying.... or efficiency.... or even the web app itself because clearly he expects the fucking code gods to come down and turn this piece of shit web app into a fucking masterpiece if he thinks this shit can be done based on a hacked together file management system. Please save me code gods4
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To create a bank that's 99% digital (the 1% is for office space) with no BS charges and kick-ass money management tools.6
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Me: *Trying to get the mobile banking app*
App: Nope, you have a rooted device
Me: *disables root access for apps and adb*
App: Nope, you have a rooted device
Me: *Maybe a xposed module would help*
Xposed: Nope, you have android nougat
Me: *Maybe there's some LineageOS marshmallow rom for my phone*
LineageOS: Nope, just android 7.1
fml9 -
TL;DR: Why does that online shop NOT support paypal?
I'm a LITTLE pissed.
I wanted to buy some stuff online (since my gf birthday comes closer and I have no city, no car nearby to go shopping) - and this website doesn't support paypal. You know why? Because they had to high fees.
Why on earth don't they do it like any other online shop?! - the user can pay with paypal for a little more % or €.
I don't have an actual credit card but the thing you can get <18yo. Paypal works with it but I can't use any other payment option.13 -
Fuck sake, so my bank has been migrating/rolling out new IT system and app/site have been broken for about a week (others noted evidence of devs debugging in production)
Assuming I don't lose my money as some mischievous assholes will inevitably exploit the fuck up, and rob the bank, I will be moving my funds to a different bank...
In mean time I'm trying to prepare for uni, and they're making a ton of semi-random changes in addition to rolling out a site with course details and info along those line, and good fucking god is it bad.
Is is slow as fuck? Check. Does it use never-seen-before naming for standard things? Check! Is the UI pulled from late 90's? YOOU BETCHA! Are the pages bloated with unnecessary content? Fuck yeah! Do I get SQL exceptions when I finally locate my course? Of course I do. Does clicking "back" take me back to the landing page instead of previous page, when I'm several steps deep? .....
I could keep going, but don't feel like ranting and feel more like punching someone in the throat.repeatedly. -
So my dad is watching some movie from the nineties titled "Hackers". Here are some lines from it:
"So I got into a server, looked around, run some commands. Only then did I realize that it was a bank server"
How can you not know what server are you hacking? And how did you later find out that it was a bank? For all you know you might be hacking into somebody's blog.
"
Hacker 1: So how are you gonna hack that database?
Hacker 2: I don't know yet.
H1: I would use a vulnerability in their security
"
That's like saying you would enter a building using the front doors.
Did whoever wrote the script for this movie even consulted somebody that knows at least something about hacking?6 -
Bank Teller: So how was your experience in using our online banking service.
Me: (Me looking at his face in awkward way)1 -
!dev && rant
Can we talk about banks? Those fuckers! Suposed to keep our money save and be competent... They today gave me the biggest scare of my live and I've run one an update query on a prod db without a where clause! (Okay I knew we had a backup but still pretty scarry moment!)
As a few know, besides being a dev I help to organize a small openair music festival here in Switzerland. The openair was this weekend. Every thing wen't well, until I checked our ebanking account today. There was only 2/3 of the money that should be there. A quick call to the bank and they told me, nope they never received it. As we've thrown it in a secure locker during the night, we didn't receive any receipt or something like that. It took those fuckers 3.5 hours to actually go and check the looker, just to find the remaining money in the corner of it. What the fuck people, can't you open your fucking eyes and not give me a fucking heartatack? I thought you guys are professionals!
Note locker: we get a key to open it from the outside, place our payment during the night, as soon as we close it, it falls inside a vault, so there it's a pay in only system, for lack of a better word, I called it locker.
My heart is still beating like mad, because of them.4 -
Shit. I accidentally let my Pluralsight sub turn from a trial to a paid service and they nabbed 25 euros from my poor bank account! I knew it was just for 10 days but i've been so i'll it slipped my mind. I'm sure it's a good service. But my left eye is red and sore and i'm taking antibiotic eye drops for it. How's that for irony? "Pluralsight" indeed.3
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Watched an action hack movie
Then designed a scenario to sniff around a bank and get the encrypted key and finally extract the key and omg!
I've broke into the bank !!!
But seriously, is it worth trying?
I'm not going to do any thing stupid like even taking a dollar , but is it just the way I thought it is?
Will anything unexpected happen?19 -
so the bank has decided to charge me for sending me the sms notification for the sms- notification-charges
makes sense 🤨 ?
8 -
!rant
I’ll be interviewing for a software developer position at a bank today.
What do they like to hear?11 -
Today I explained to my wife why my night stand is a mess, and hers is clean and ordered by using the backend/frontend metaphor.
I am the backend, handling bills, bank accounts, taxes, warranties and all the paperwork.
She is my frontend, handling my social interactions.
Now she hates me, but she admitted I'm right.
She still want me to clean my night stand though.4 -
Whiteboard interviews. Would say "my first whiteboard interviews", but I think they will always have the magic to make developers feel stupid.1
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My project manager one time called me while I was waiting in the bank. He told me that the latest changes in the project I was working on were not deployed to production and they were having a meeting to demo those changes to the client later that day.
I had my laptop with me but it wasn't charged. I asked the security guys if I could use the socket used to power up the cleaning/sweeping machines and they didn't mind.
So it was me sitting on the floor in the bank hall using a side socket to power up my laptop holding my cellphone so I can use the hotspot and get internet connection deploying yesterday's changes to a production server.
Eventually, the client didn't attend the meeting that day!4 -
I'm a terminal-guy. I prefer to live inside my terminal. When my family sees me with the green-on-black, they think I'm up to some nasty stuff like hacking / cracking emails, facebook, bank accounts, etc. Only people who understand to look at the terminal realize it's just a few monitors and log tails running. Sometimes, maybe elinks or vi running as well.7
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I just received this notification on my phone. Robeco is a large investment bank from The Netherlands. 🤦🏽♂️
1 -
Update on the bank I’m working for: their security is shit and the way they manage customer data and credentials is sickening. On top of it all, there’s about 10 windows XP computers still online not to mention the ATM is running Windows XP. What the flying fuck.1
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There was a competition being run by a large bank in the Netherlands. The competition involved playing a simple game on Facebook to win prizes. After discovering that much of the game logic was client-sided, I used a combination of cheat engine to speed up the clock and auto mouse clicker to keep the games restarting. Turns out I was able to play several thousand games in a few minutes.4
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I started to work in the CreditCard / Bank business a year ago.
Now they stopped the hole server migration project, so I leave again. They could have had it all. Server 2016, SQL 2016, Citrix, Surface Books and so on.
But no, the new shitty projects are more important than security or on what technology the system is build on.
Seems like the FTP Server will run on Windows 2003 forever...4 -
!dev
Fuck you, money.
Today I found out that I have a negative amount of money on my credit card, and now I guess I owe money to the credit card company. I can't pay for my gym, I can't pay tuition, can't shop. Nothing. Got 1K in the bank account and almost 3K debt on the card. The sorry-ass job I have in college isn't enough and because of some STUPID PAPERWORK I'm stripped naked by the income tax until I get it right, and it will take another MONTH until I have my money back retroactively. Now I gotta take a loan from my girlfriend to cover this shit up.
I remember I set it up like this so I won't have a negative amount of money on my bank account (for the rent to be paid on time) but now I'm fucked in a (w)hole different way.
FUCK YOU, MONEY!!!4 -
I'm working on a banking app (Android) and I thought: "This is a bank. An important one. They will surely have a good IT department! It will be a joy to work with them"...
Never have I been so wrong!3 -
Oh you want to email me and have me click on the link in order to update my online banking profile. Yes even tho I don't bank with you that seems like a good idea
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My new case is finally here!!
After 3 months of effort, 2 rejected visa and 1 (almost) lost fund, it finally arrive just before year's end
Purchased on december 1st, arrived on 29th, and the web tracking is still saying "on transit at Frankfurt", at least it's finally arrived
I used this "digital banking" thing, and my purchase was rejected twice when using visa due to "incorrect billing information", and the bank is not helpful at handling this matter, probably because the billing address is supposed to be the address on my ID card, while on the app there are 2 different usable addresses one is from ID, and one is the current address, and my rejected transaction was stuck on the second attempt, my money was not returned until a month later
Finally succeded when I used the same visa through paypal
Good print quality, the material's a bit unsatisfactory though, either it's weathered/damaged during transport, or it's just the way it is, the plastic edges doesn't "snap" perfectly along the silicon bumpers
All in all, it's a nice way to start the year, Happy New Year!!
4 -
It seems like sensitive websites that need more priority to work fine are the ones that do not. I'm talking about government, school, bank, & service provider sites. Or it's just my retarded country.10
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New experience.
Went to bank at an unknown location all alone for first time and completed tons of pending work with the bank. In all, was worth 4 hours of struggling.
Being a Dev, I really feel bad how much the employee struggle to cope up with banking softwares and consider it as a gigantic task which for us is like the easiest task. Using mostly clicks and number pads and rarely any software updates.
I wonder why there isn't a proper training provided that would make them realise how simple it is to use banking proprietary softwares.
Or are we lagging behind to provide even better UX to banking employees. -
I am torn apart for several months now. My boss and coworkers are amazing people, projects are quite fun and interesting, workplace is close to home and they pay for my exams (step by step reaching for MCSD certification), but...
The salary if fcking low (you could probably earn same ammount while working as a waitress of normal restaurant). Not only for me of course, but still :( Now I am thinking of running to some bank and doing boring programming job coding same tasks again and again, but getting payed very well4 -
FUCK EVERY PERSON IN THIS SHIT BANK!! FFS THE IDIOTS CREATED A NEW DATABASE USING SQL SERVER 2008! Yes, 2008 and its a new database if it was some type of legacy I could try to understand, but this shit is a completely new database. I have to use sequelize and guess what? It can't paginate results because shit server 2008 does not accept OFFSET FETCH syntax3
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Guyz let hack this
Here is the tea
A house wife forgot her bank 'ATM PIN' which is a four digit number, but luckily she remembered some hints on how to recall this 'PIN'
Here are some of the clues
(1) The 1st digit is half of the 2nd
(2) The sum of the 2nd and 3rd is 10
(3) The 4th is equal to the 2nd plus 1
(4) The sum of all the digits is 23
What is the ATM PIN ?5 -
Just started today with Python 3. I don't know but I really start to like the language. Its not to difficult and it has nice syntax. Currently I'm working on a little financial overview generator. It parses the CSV file from my bank and sorts it into categories. Really fun to make. Do you guys made some nice projects in python?4
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So trello is down. I need to see my tasks so I know what to work on...
Now, I just reload trellos page every 2 minutes... Bored...
Earlier today it was my bank that was down.
Good day.3 -
Started a new job on Monday. STILL DON'T HAVE ACCESS TO THE FUCKING SERVERS I NEED TO ANYTHING. Holy fucking shit I'm annoyed. Fuck you corporate bullshit. I already feel like quitting.3
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Totally didn't know today's a bank holiday . No one's in... Today 😅 ooops
What fun can you have in a huge empty building 🤔11 -
So I just got a mail from a bank.
The email address ended with .gmbh
If people want to make phishing emails then please use at least a fucking viable email address6 -
I work for a big bank. I'm going to say pretty much the entire Support team is incompetent.
Oh something went wrong? Escalate to devs... cuz we have no idea wtf to do and don't have the most basic technical problem solving skills...
Bunch of useless monkeys... btw guess what time it is now? And what I'm doing?5 -
There is this friend of mine, total business profile, working in banking audit for MNEs. The guy is in trouble with his PowerPoint, asking me if I can assist because "as you working in IT". I'm a Golang distributed system engineer for a major delivery company. Be sure I will call you next time I need to open a bank account.1
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docker service scale serviceID=5
If only scaling my bank balance were as simple as docker swarm scaling !1 -
After being banned by PayPal for no clear reason (https://devrant.com/rants/1467792/...), I think this will be a good alternative. It acts as if you have a local bank in USD, EUR, GBP, JPY, or CNH! How cool is that!
3 -
Read my client's local bank API (80's 😰) documentation and fucking pray for him to accept Stripe !!!!!1
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hi sirs im new on this public forum with thousands of witnesses so could u learn me how to haxor bank acounts? i heard u can make alot of money with it thx u
6 -
So it's Friday afternoon just before a bank holiday weekend here I'm the UK, perfect time for our production database to go TITSUP (total inability to support usual performance), life sucks then you die folks....2
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Wow or wtf to these banks API. was integrating an API for a service which accept JSON input.
Okay fair enough, that would be fine
Spent an hour writing code(purescript) most of time spent was on writing Types based on the API doc. after that okay let me test the API it failed.
I was what happened? So tested the API from postman with the payload from the doc, it worked. What how?
used a JSON diff to compare the payload from postman and the log. Looked same to me after spending few hours checking what is wrong with it .trying changing value to pasting the body of the log request in postman and trying everything failed.
Later went to the original working payload provided by them and changing the order. It started throwing error. I was like wait what?
It must be only on there UAT. created a payload with production creds and hoping to our production server (they have IP whitelist) ran the curl with proper payload as expected it worked. Later for same payload changed the order or one key and tried it failed.
Just why????
I don't want to create a JSON with keys on specific order. Also it's not even sorted order.4 -
The client portal of the biggest bank in SA is down.
I took a break, because if they website is down, who cares about my minor bugs? 😀
-
Mondo, the bank being set up by software devs is going through a name change... and is asking for suggestions, all in favour of Money McMoneyBank
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I was supposed to have an interview for a software developer internship at a bank today, but they rescheduled last minute due to a "time conflict". This was to be my first summer internship interview. As if they didn't put me under enough stress already... Now I find out all my stress all week long was for naught.
God fucking dammit.3 -
Had been to an interview today. It was renowned Bank which was hiring for a position of SSE.
You know what!! I was not allowed inside the building because I was not carrying my original driving license with me. What the fuck?? 😡😠Even traffic police won't ask for an original license!! (at least in India)5 -
A UK bank (building society) are giving away a free home security camera if you take out their home insurance product.
Seriously!? I do NOT want to install a camera, given to me by my bank, in my flat! -
At a previous job I had, there was a bug in the payment code, we did not know anything was wrong until the customer support team began receiving some crazy emails stating that our company emptied their bank account. Then we investigated further and thousands of customers had their banks emptied. So the payment team went big hunting, found the problem to eliminate further chaos.
Unfortunately the person responsible for this huge screw up was not fired immediately, but did resign soon there after.1 -
Once I had an interview where in the last part the cto of the bank asked me a question about the history of my country instead of a appropriate programming one. Of course I couldn't answer and got nervous but I still want to punch that motherfucker in the face.
-
Soon...
Soon I shall reveal my superweapon... one machine to rule them all!
Fear me! Cuz i had spend money!2 -
I sit in a cubicle and I update bank software for the 2000 switch. You see, they wrote all this bank software and to save space, they put 98 instead of 1998. So I go through these thousands of lines of code and uh, it doesn't really matter. I, uh, I don't like my job. I don't think I'm gonna go anymore.1
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Been complaining about my banks app for a while, I finally decide to change when I suddenly get (my first real dev job btw) job in another bank. My third task you ask? Well they did not have the same issue, but wanted me to fix it even better. (I love this job alreaddy)
Do it yourself people! -
Last 24 hrs have been fucking bad for me. No electricity for almost 22 hours and the inverter died after 12 hours. The foods gone bad in fridge, have been away from almost everything. My phone was at 10%, luckily power bank saved me but now power bank is almost empty (because mi has a huge battery and power bank was only 75%). Don't know what fucking bad things gonna happen now.12
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Just found out today via Reddit that Wells Fargo, American Express (not personally confirmed), and Chase login passwords are NOT case sensitive!
I would check your bank too!2 -
I had to create an account on a website. I used LastPass to generate a strong password. I entered it and got the following message:
"Password must be between 8 and 16 characters and must have special characters (? , ! & #) and numbers"
My password was 20 characters, me annoyed to generate a 16 character password. Filled it in and got the same error. That was it for me.
Who dafuq limits a password to 16 characters, that's fucking nothing. It did not accept all special characters, only the ones that were showed (like 5 or so).
And here comes the worst part...
It's a bank website! I had to create the most most most insecure password in history for it to work.8 -
1) clicking on the wk141 tag wouldnt show the wk140 rants
2) big titty mafia mommy gf
3) when i buy something i always have the exact price on my bank account -
When some random customer of one if our (bank) clients tweeted about receiving money to their mobile money account in less than a minute (while it was like an hour before we built an API for that shit). Knowing I was the dev that made that happen made my heart melt1
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I'm working on a project with ~1TB of data. Are there any good options for hosting that won't break the bank and aren't localhost? 😅15
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programming is like robbing a bank; without proper preplanning you wont finish the job and get money
-
Fellow devs, quick question for you:
What is the general format for a hackathon? Can you just show up and hang out if you want? Does it necessarily require coding skills? Do you form a team when you get there or are you assigned one?
I have a friend who is a finance major and she got invited to a hackathon for an American bank, and she's trying to decide whether to go. I've never been to one so couldn't offer much advice. Thanks!3 -
My company boss just changed the holiday rules...
Previously we had 2 Saturday off + 2 casual leaves and bank holidays...
Now as rule we did holiday on Monday, so he is i think angry or something...
He told us now no Saturday off, no bank holiday... Only we will get 2 leaves... That's alll...
I think it's time to Quit... Right?16 -
My (junior) colleague gives me an existential crisis as he builds a fabric.js clone from scratch up in very little time.
Then he tells me he forgot his 4 digit bank pin he's be using for 7 years. -
I once tried to create a client for the fonds bank of Frankfurt. But I didn't expect their JSON API to be designed by a trainee.
Look at the API.
Stringified numbers, decimal commas (Germany), separator dots for thousands, and even one breaks as if it came from a pjp script where they just put an if condition in each line.
I documented the API and tried to create a Jax rs client, but stopped completing it. Not useable atm. Just look at what I spoofed.
https://github.com/bmhm/...
7 -
Huge mistake on a customer billing procedure.
That procedure was generating a file for automatic billing requests from our customer bank to his customers banks.
That procedure was shifting the bank coordinates by one byte right making all payment requests invalid and rejected.
That month the customer got nothing from invoices (more or less 80k euros).
Side note; only one payment was accepted because the guy entering the invoice on the system shifted the bank coordinates by mistake, so the procedure fixed it.
:/ -
I'm about to do my bachelor thesis in Interaction Design. I've got to design a banking/pocket money app for kids 8-14y for a swiss bank.
And I have no idea where to beginn with it. What is needed? What do kids like? And is a banking app for kids in demand at all? Parents? Where do I get kids to talk to without beeing a creep who stands with sweets in front of the kindergarden? 😧10 -
Here in my country banks doesn't have a public API to access your bank account extract, 3 years later we make some bots to extract these data to an API9
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Lately, all I see is ppl postings gifs instead of ranting...
So, choose a team:
Team Hard G
Or
Team Soft G8 -
Had my dev job described as a "computer, desk job" in a condescending tone yesterday by a guy trying to convince me to join his pyramid scheme....
// TODO: come up with awesome rant about this so I can look badass2 -
Today I noticed how incredibly insecure IBANs are.
You give it to anyone who wants to transfer money to your bank account, and all you need to perform a transaction is an IBAN, the account holders name and his signature.
So anyone who has your IBAN, your name and your signature (which all can occur in a single mail) can just send himself money from your account, cash out and move away. Noone can prove that it wasn't you who did the transaction and you couldnt find the guy.
And this is what all the banks in Europe use? What am I missing here?... how can a system this important be this insecure?10 -
Got a text from the bank that my salary is credited in my account on my way to work.
Can I turn around and head back home now? -
Accepts placement at ** insert big Bank here ** reconsiders when:
1 - they forget to send a contract
2 - they lose your CV so they can't decide what you'll do for them.
3 - Forget to send you the email for one of the stages and you have to do everything past do.
4 - when after having to create accounts in 5 different of their systems they send you a Single Sign-On. Which doesn't work. And you spend 3 times on the phone to get it fixed.
I'm not due to even start in the next 2 months.1 -
Did you notice these cryptocurrency thefts are nowadays called "Coin hacks", not "Bank heists"? Funny.2
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Every bank employee I've met as an IT student: "I've never imagined myself working at a bank. I don't like banks, but I like working for them". Which means they pay well.
-
The worst is on an ATM Card,
"This ATM card is property of the bank if found please return it"
No place to explain how to use it2 -
Dad: I want you to marry a girl of my choice.
Son: No
Dad: The girl is Bill Gate's daughter.
Son: Then Ok.
Dad goes to Bill Gates.
Dad: I want your daughter to marry my son.
Bill Gates: No
Dad: My son is the CEO of the World Bank.
Bill Gates: Than ok
Dad goes to the President of the World Bank.
Dad: Appoint my son as the CEO of your bank.
President: No
Dad: He is the son-in-law of Bill Gates.
President: Then OK
That's business...!!2 -
I just saw some loan/bank ad that read something around the line "when the budget goes negative, the minus becomes plus" ("Când bugetul dă cu minus, minusul se face plus")
NO, this isn't a feature, it's a bug and it's called "underflow"1 -
So get this, I try making an appointment at the bank twice, they don't call me either time so I call them and they say they'll call me back sooo they never call me back. So today I go to the bank office because fuck it right ill just come in then and guess what I'm told? Oh euh you need an appointment to open a business account LIKE FUCK YOU YOU TWAT I TRIED MAKING AN APPOINTMENT FUCKING TWICE3
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When your BT router breaks on the bank holiday weekend and BT can't send you a new one till the Tuesday after! There goes my productivity this weekend4
-
Well, support chat of my bank has nice avatars of persons answering my questions. But they so small...
Ok. Inspect element... Image link. Oh, it's just 2500x2500 image resized to 35x35... Now I just need a small hand-crafted chrome extension to add click to enlarge on these avatars.
These girls are really pretty though:)3 -
“This value must be shorter than 20 characters in length.” … password field, bank website, 2016, wtf ¯\_(ツ)_/¯2
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Found an institutional coaching centre leaking 1000s of students personal data phone, photo, db, parents info, documents photo path, payment method(bank, check, card) etc. They 32567 rows. I'm trying to find the admin login page. It seems they have it on separate subdomain. I found student login and I can login as any student. I hate these institutes. Sent them emails days ago (29 sept) but no reply yet. What should I do?2
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One aged person went to banker and said my son is not in country, and he asked me to withdraw money from his mutual fund account. Can you help.
Banker replied, do you have withdraw form signed. If not then can you copy his sign.
Elder guy tried it and stupid banker accepted withdraw form as well.1 -
It's done. Agile has taken over my life. The other day I looked outside and thought, "As a user, I can stand on my lawn without my feet disappearing." And that's how I decided to mow my lawn.
-
!dev
Why the FUCK do bank waiting lines have to be so fucking long? And why do these old cunts have to spend 30+ minutes in the booth each? If this goes on, I'll have to wait in line for THREE FUCKING HOURS just to raise my fucking daily transaction limit! And all I fucking wanted was to order the parts for my new goddamn rig! If you have too many cocking clients to handle, hire an extra worker or five!4 -
I am trying to apply for a student credit card. Should be relatively simple, but guess what: it isn't. First there was a question on your income. I didn't know if you had to include your student loan by issued by the goverment and after calling the bank, the answer seemed to be no. And the form didn't succeed because your income should be higher than 1 euro. So I've contacted the bank again and it seems that you could just fill in your student loan as income. Okay, so that should fix the problem. So I came very close to completing the form, gave the website me an error in the last step!
-
Meh. FFS. Thats how this shit starts.
Get a call to say 2018 Bank Holidays not showing on legacy web calendar.
/me looks for bank holiday code in PHP file ..... no dice.
/me finds a dBase table that holds all Bank Holiday info. Not ideal, but I can work with that.
Enter all Bank Holidaya into dBase. Sit back, relax, wait for page to reload to show me Banks .... no dice.
Huh??
Read code more closely ......
Included file (inline, half way through PROCEDURAL FILE FFS) and notice that the linked file has all Banks hand formatted into Calendar events, and minified.
If I ever meet the old dev in the street, so help me god. 🤬2 -
Searching how to (insert dev related skill) then after that getting only adds shown for places that do professional dev work. No, obviously I am trying to learn the shit myself not willing to pay someone else, in fact add a sync my bank account to search just so google can comeback with results filed under you are too poor to pay for shit here are the diy results you poor dumb fuck using free wifi. :)
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I am going to go freelance (starting a company and will be my own first employee) at the end of the month.
Was wondering what software some of you, who are also freelancers, are using to manage everything.
Quotes, invoices, jobcards, etc.
The bank through which I will be registering the company appears to offer some sort of online service for that purpose, but I have not seen it yet.
Any assistance will be greatly appreciated.5 -
True story: After making a mistake while writing a check, I literally reached out to an imaginary keyboard and wanted to ctrl+z it... if only life was that simple1
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bunq, N26 or revolut? I am also a bit sceptical because of brexit - i am sure it would affect revolut. I don't like the pricing of n26 but the metal MasterCard looks sexy and I love the features of bunq.
Not sure which bank I should choose...
Has anyone here got some more info about those three mobile first banks?10 -
My bank just switched from RSA SecurID to SMS-based 2-factor authentication, claiming it offers "equal security".
Is it not common knowledge that SMS 2FA is a security joke?? What the fuck guys?!? -
I was a bit intimidated going into my first full time job since I was the youngest on the team. They put me on a small project to start with and it wasn't difficult at all.
After working with my colleague for a while, he came in one morning and asked what I'm doing here.
"I'm at work? I work here?", I replied in confusion.
Then he went on about that I shouldn't be working at this company. He thought I was smart enough to work overseas at an investment bank.
Thanks for the complement :) -
Update to previous rant: My e-banking account is blocked, because apparently I already set a password on a website I never seen before.
- Tried the declined one
- Tried the unsecure one I chossed after the declined one
- Tried the pin number from mobile app.
BAM@#%$#%!!1!one1! YOU ARE BLOCKED FOR ENTERING WRONG PASSWORD TOO MANY TIMES. PLEASE CALL THE FUCKING BANK ON MONDAY.
I seriously hate this stupid country, and companies that don't know a first thing about web getting picked on government and public sector projects, sucking 100s of thousands of euros and providing the user experience that gives you a fucking diarrhea, at every SINGLE ONE OUF THEM!1 -
Every time I want to check my balance at my bank, instead of placing my account identifier (in my case, my national identification number, equivalent to the SSN), I end up typing '192.168 ...' until I realize what idiot that I am! LOL. Please, tell me I'm not the only one ><.
-
Jesus our security infrastructure people are stupid. They are telling us to secure a service that we don’t want accessible directly by the role “member” setup to be accessible by “member”. All because they “don’t want us changing identities in the middle of a chain of web service calls”. They are like “don’t worry, the fire wall keeps them out”.
That’s like saying “here’s the key to the bank vault, but you won’t ever get past the security guards so it’s okay that you have it.”
I swear this company is stone stupid. -
Start managing my bank accounts like they are git repos:
* account checkout -b venture/Some_Startup
* account add .
* account commit -m "Profits and Investments"
* account merge origin master -
My bank here in Philippines is having a glitch with there system since yesterday. the current balances of the depositors are not tally anymore and most annoying thing is they don't allow to withdraw money in their atm machines until now. I know its very difficult to fix this issue but we our need money in order to eat! 😢2
-
I want to hack central bank website.so I asked my teacher and he told me , go and learn q basic . then I bought programming with qbasic in 21 days....
Fuck that motherfucker teacher -
Me: The client is getting hosting from a different company than we suggested since they require you to pay via bank and she doesn't consider that safe.
Co-worker dude: But aren't banks like the safest way of paying?
Me: Well I guess not in the Filipines (where the client is from)
Dude: .......3 -
Hm... Sounds familiar and works pretty well I think? 😀
Imagine a local pizzeria is seeking a $200,000 bank loan to expand its business. Usually, if a bank accepts, the loan is provided with interest. This is a risk for the pizzeria, because if it can’t pay back the loan with interest, the business could suffer or close altogether.
There are other options, though. Imagine instead if the bank offered the pizzeria a $100,000 loan, and required it to raise the rest within the community, selling coupons in a local currency. A $100 coupon might be worth $120 in pizza, for instance. This scheme could help the pizzeria raise the extra funds.
In general, the bank’s risk in offering the loan is also decreased. Customers themselves help a business grow, making it even easier for the pizzeria to repay the original loan.
The pizzeria can now expand without being burdened by huge interest payments, and is confident that the community is eager to support its growth. Customers, in turn, are rewarded by a 20 percent discount on pizza!6 -
I just opened my first bank account.
Waited a week to get the debit card. Excited to buy stuff online internationally.
Got it today. It's domestic thingy. Not visa or MasterCard.
Noice1 -
I'm thinking about making the switch to a mechanical keyboard, but I don't know much about them. Anyone have good recommendations on a starter brand that's good quality but won't break the bank?4
-
So I ended my internship at my first company. It wasn't really an internship cuz I just sat there learning my own thing but at least it was a place where I was free from distractions and focused on learning stuff.
I now have 2 or 3 places where my application has been submitted.
One is a Bank. It isn't like a really big bank but a small microfinance bank targeting the lower class. Judging from their website they like problem solving as they explicitly say "we aim to become problem solvers". I kinda like them because it's not a big bank so it would be a better place for me because I would have responsibility in the team.
Other one is a GSM cellular provider. I have no idea how there would be a software engineer position for me and what I would be doing.
Third (possibly) is a telecommunication regulatory/maintaining something something authority. No idea about that either.
Seeing I don't have idea about some of these, is because I'm not the one that applied to them.
What are your thoughts on it? Which one do you think is better for me? I'm inclined towards bank though I'll be using Java probably but that's ok as Java is everywhere in my country 😄 . Thanks in advance2 -
Starting my first dev job next week (except for freelance work) and I'm crazy nervous that I'm going to make some huge mistake and look really stupid. Did anyone else have these fears before their first dev job and, if so, how'd you stay at least a little confident?4
-
Am I weird if I decline lucrative job offers just to have a job that is fun and kinda meaningful even if I don't push my limits here, but they really can use my expertise? On related note, is there a bag of money that would convince you to do some boring job in corporate environment working on some fucked up internal systems of some fucked up bank? I found out that twice my current salary is not enough but tempting. Am I weird?2
-
Today is bank holiday in the UK. Fucking boss slacked me to say he needs graphql n mongodb wired up by tomorrow. I almost tell him to fuck off, today is not work, bitch1
-
!rant
Im a java dev in my day job (in a bank) and a real estate broker(on the side) as well... Im planning to create my real estate website from scratch. should i do it on java(spring) or other language?
I know php and ruby too. I had plenty of php projects and i had one ror project 5yrs ago.
P.s
which hosting do you recommend. *cheap is better for i am just starting real estate broker.9 -
Lee Quessenberry [7:43 AM]
Michael is learning about stylesheets from Hubspot. HO LEEE SHEEEIT
Joe Makarski [7:43 AM]
dood. those hubspot stylehseets are soooo insane
Lee Quessenberry [7:43 AM]
I know! LOL
[7:43]
Better him than me
Joe Makarski [7:44 AM]
it's like Dreamweaver and Adobe's other web app eat each other
[7:44]
ate*
Lee Quessenberry [7:44 AM]
and after they get done eating each other they go to the sperm bank and get knocked up by microsoft frontpage.
Joe Makarski [7:44 AM]
seriously.
Lee Quessenberry [7:45 AM]
WTF -
Do you guys know of any banks that offer an API to their customers? I'm looking for a way to get bank account balance and transaction history for a small personal project I'm working on (meaning, plad is not really an option)6
-
!rant
I'm a designer and just found out about a hackathon by Deutsche Bank hosted at the end of October in Berlin. Are some devs out there interested in forming a team (and brainstorming about an idea, obviously)? Preferably from around Germany, since one has to pay travel costs on his/her own, but I'm open, really.
More information: https://api-open.db.com
Just hit me up if you're interested!
P.S. I'm not bad at getting some front-end development done...8 -
Just noticed a thread on r/programmerhumor about bank code intentionally adding delays with all these JavaScript code blocks of how it's adding sleep cycles in.
So I spent an hour reading the documentation and wrote up an over engineered solution in COBOL just to prove a point.2 -
So it's a bank holiday today. Would be a shame if I crashed and you'd need to come in anyway...
- VPN Server1 -
Dunno why all Bank websites and app are very poor. Thanks to UPI now we are not locked down to poor apps for basic services.3
-
How to charge a Drone battery with a power bank (or how to burn a battery, lipo module and maby power bank)
2 -
Client: "All questions will be multiple choice"
*after implementing exams I finally get the content*
Me to myself: "These are word Bank and short answer questions"
🙃🙃🙃🙃 -
!rant
I always wanted to avoid the stereotypical green text black background terminals especially in public when people keep giving me weird and scared looks, however i realised that in the bright daylight of an outdoor coffee shop, green text on a black background is the only configuration that doesn't make me sprain my eyes. It's actually useful and not just a Hollywood movie trope.1 -
This day is off to no good... :(
First l forget the ssh port to my mail server and now i realized that tomorrow is the last day the server is up. I need to add more credits but i literally have 2 cents on my bank account :(1 -
How do people deal with this.
Customer: my trial is finished, and I dont have a bank card?
What do I do say post me the money every month send it by pigeon mail?5 -
void sittingInBank()
{
*Sitting in the bank listening to the automated announcer for the numbers*
N u m b e r .........
.
.
.
C
.
.
.
F i v e h u n d r e d
.
.
.
A n d
.
.
.
T w e l v e++
sittingInBank ()
}
This shit goes on forever and the announcer voice is so FUCKING annoying -
I was once working at very successful startup as lead android engineer, when another startup contacted me and offered me a better paid and "stable" position. 9 months later I woke up on the 1st of the month (1st June 2018), checking my bank account: No payment. I go to office, boss comes in : hey guys, we're bankrupt and we can't pay your salary.
Today still no salary, we're waiting now for court to officially declare the startup bankrupt and then Government will pay me my last 3 salaries, while my working contract is still valid for 3 months after company gets declared officially as bankrupt. We're being expected to work as nothing would be, with no money on our bank accounts (we've been even told to take a temporary loan) and that sooner or later somebody will buy us off. Oh, it would be also really nice from us if we would not be looking for a new "challenge". What'd you do?3 -
Anyone here from Europe????? :D
JK
I just need a good bank here, with benefits, shoot me some best ones, also shoot me reference shits so you and I will have money :)!
If you want me to have some sort of crypto thing only, don't worry to shoot that on me too. I work for crypto company.9 -
Fuck the bureacracy.
It's so difficult being an solo entrepreneur due to outdated bureacracy.
I just wanted to have a current/ business bank account to separate txns related to the business from my personal account and GST ID to officially register the business and also avoid headaches with taxes in the future.
However, If you want business bank account in the name of business, you have to have an official registration for the business and GST is the easiest and affordable way for sole proprietorship. Since my work is basically online and can be done remote, it doesn't make sense to waste money renting or buying an office space, getting electricity coonection or pay other related expenses which is necessary to have to show as proof of existence.
So I went ahead and purchased a virtual office plan and applied for GST with required documents. However, the bureacrat rejected the application. The informed about it to the biz where I purchased this virtual office and they had a meeting with the bureacrat and they were told virtual office address can't be allowed.
They told had no such issues in last few years and now on they are gonna have to stop providing virtual office to register GST. That was one of the main reason people went with virtual office.
Now I won't be able to open a business bank account.
I won't be able to signup for payment gateway networks. They ask for GST ID.
I won't be able to complete Paypal business registration.
I may have to expose my personal address on invoices or otherwise lie on it.
I will have to use my savings account for any expense related to it.
Also by end of this fiscal year, I probably gonna have to deal with tax issues. -
When you have a great idea and 'possibly' the skills to pull it off
But...you lack the bank account and the experience to confidently try, as well as the social ability needed to attempt crowd funding1 -
Not really documentation, but actually the user manual for a corporate online ebanking system for dealing with EPF/ETF. The instructions were very very vague, and when we called the bank for clarification, they said that some of the stuff in the manual was outdated/not relevant anymore. Like what the fuck man?
-
My best mentoring experience was the teacher that taught me puppet. The way he explained it, the way he walked you through a very intense course of three days consecutive puppet knowlegde rammed into your head...and still manage to actually learn almost all of it. Great attitude, and meanwhile, he is a esteemed collegue and friend...
Without you Johan, i would not be an independent entrepreneur and making bank at my current client
Johan the white, to me one of the greatest sysadmins ever -
Dreading the end of this bank holiday weekend, tomorrow I must wake up and return to working with legacy code.
-
WhatsApp Messenger is not working today here in Mexico. I wonder how'severything going on over there 😂😂😂 it brings to mind once when I first released to production some dlls I modified. The bank core didn't work 10 minutes5
-
shamelessAffiliateLink == true
I just wanted to share this with anyone that is interested in trying a mechanical keyboard but not trying to break the bank or wants one that isn't 10 meters wide. It's my first mechanical keyboard and I absolutely love it. I got the black one.
https://amzn.to/2MxmpWq2 -
Idk if any of you remember
A while ago i tried to make a router from a raspberry pie and i had trouble with connecting the pie to an internet cable wich requires user and pass from the provider
Done it like 5 minutes ago using pppoe and rc-pppoe
Took me a couple weeks to figure it out
Tho i need type a command
"sudo route add default dev ppp0"
And bam it works
Damn happy cuz u know , i got no electricity... still ... and this is just great to run on a power bank
Cheers ya'll! -
Not many people will get this joke/reference.
I got {for i=1,8 do print(i .. ",") end} M's in my bank account, yeah
{for 1,5 do print("In my bank account, yeah\n") end}1 -
If I hear one more enterprise architect tell me the bank can't use tech until it's ten years old....2
-
I used to lead a team of several devs. Then we learned the boss was using the company as his personal piggy bank. Now I lead a team of 1.4
-
did you already know about this?
i think this will be impressive!
A full programmable bank account for developers!!!
Link: https://offerzen.com/blog/...6 -
Tip: when doing transactions, don't pay as cash even if they tell you it is a requirement. Tell them you will pay via cheque or via bank transfer with a contract first with a seal from an attorney. You must have a valid copy first of the contract before doing payments. Also, get a photo of 2 valid IDs the person you are doing transactions. They require you personal infos and IDs? Require them also that.
#noContractFirstNoPayment1 -
The internet allowed for people to never have to go to a library for knowledge.
Bitcoin allows for people to never have to go to a bank for money.9 -
Hi guys! We are still searching for another dev to join our team for the hackathon hosted by Deutsche Bank in Berlin (late october). We're currently a team of 2: @ginjikoibito as iOS-/Backend-Dev and me as Designer.
So far the idea we want to apply with goes in this direction: Real-time evaluation of social structures through analyzing wealth & transactions provided by anonymized user-data of the API. It will also incorporate recognizable networks between users.
Sounds interesting? Please leave a comment, we're happy to share more with you :-)2 -
Ok so i have two laptops, one has One slot with ddr3 4gb ram and is way too slow for school, the other one is 5years old but fast as hell but has a dead battery. Should i buy a 8gb bank or a new battery. Providing the price is roughly the same.. ??5
-
Asked my real estate agency to withdraw the rent from my bank account on monday. Today is friday, these fuckers didn't do it and now I don't have enough money left (short by 50€) to pay them.
On the bright side, I finish the month with 600€.
Damn it should be painful to be this fucked in the head.6 -
!developer_rant
Ok, so my pc is on it's way out (Cries in the corner) so i thought i would just bite the bullet and buy my new system, comes to around $1800 AUD without the GPU which i already have... So i decided I would use zipmoney as i prefer to pay by month (yes i know it costs a little bit each month) but... My application got declined for a $2000 account... So you are telling me i was able to apply for a bank loan last year for $4000 and get approved, get approved to rent a house... I have a perfect credit rating but apparently i dont qualify for a simple loan because i dont earn enough... I'm earning almost double what i was when I applied for a fucking bank loan!5 -
Dear the devs at Danske Bank UK,
For the 4th time in 5 years I am going to send a error report to you and get my local branch to directly email you to complain about the lack of being able to see anything on my ISA on online banking, plus just fucking fix it,
sincerely Hidden3 -
The credit card autocomplete function of Google chrome issues TWO bank statements each autocomplete. 1. -1$ 2. +1$ :/
-
When the receptionist from the bank tells me: "there aren't system" I think: I have to be patient, might the systems I've made could fails too. However I hope my systems never fail.
-
For those of you who DO use PHP, regardless of whether you like it or not, have you ever used something like PEAR? And what are your thoughts?
I'm writing a fairly basic internal web app for our PMs and I'm looking for something similar to npm to save me some time/effort. I should also mention that my supervisor insists it be in PHP...6 -
So I do some custom integrations for a local bank. A customer is referred to me by the Bank, we failed to o agree on the price by about 100usd. The customer the goes to some old timer who doesn't even know the difference between php and asp. Then new 'dev' can't figure out how to do the integration and then turns to me to do the work for him for 1/3 of what I had charged the client. Don't know if I should tell him to go to hell or call the customer and ask him to get a hire someone who can differentiate between his nose and ass hole.1
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The world is talking about all the cool stuff meanwhile I work for a bank for a legacy system. My average finish time per task is 2 weeks, like add a button, a field and save it into the db. The good thing is my pay is higher than the avg. not sure it's good or bad. U use react? We have project in backbone and requirejs. Oh I heard u're on webpack? Whatever..2
-
Should I study or not.
I'm in a rut, yet again. I have an opportunity to start a java certification. The course is going to cost me quite a bit, and i will have to loan from the bank. At the moment I'm struggling financially, but my dreams are set on programming.
Should I take it, or do I negate the risk and do what I'm comfortable with.6 -
So... there is a bank. And the website for example is using "https". Alright. But the Login consists your login ID (in the most cases your account number) and a Pin number ( only 5 chars) If i remember pentesting, crunch etc a pin or password with 5 chars (included special characters) is fast hackable or not? Or is it super secure cuz of the "https"?4
-
!dev
My new passion in life is to stack money in prevision to pay an enormous tax, and discovering the day before paying that some gas company took advantage of it to pay themselves about 1/3 of the amount I owe to the taxes. Now I can't pay anymore.
This is a fucking nightmare.3 -
Sigh, when you realise your bank is using depracated dojo.js (uncompressed with console warnings) and it wont proceed unless you turn ublock origin off ...
-
Waiting for devRant to fix apple subscription so I join. Just common and clean my bank account @dfox2
-
The worst project i work on is my actual project, this is not a dev project but a "Run the Bank" project !
check 3 times a day that servers are okay, logs are okay, unduserssolvedunderstand and give the "how to fix" to the dev team #pan1 -
I'm a fucking student, so no I don't recieve copies of the utility bills to my bloody halls, nor do I get paper versions of my damn bank statements, since y'know, it's 2016.
It's a goddamn £250 invoice I can't get now, despite getting at least 10 other payments for the same amount previously.
Fuck you in your Royal arse, peopleperhour2 -
$cash me outside, how 'bout that?
What do people use (I'm specifically interested in UK, but all answers welcome!) for P2P payments?
I like square cash, just so that I can say that. Monzo next, and the I guess direct bank transfer but only with a handful of people I really know. You wouldn't want to give it to stranger, and its a cumbersome process.4 -
Can someone explain why xc7a35t have a bunch of power pins for bank 13? There IS no bank 13 on that silicon. Wtf?
-
Why do people (mostly clients) love to pay using paypal? Don't they know it's not a bank and there's really no fraud protection.
I know I'm enabling it by offering PayPal as a payment option...3 -
Find on frenh bank application :
string name;
try {
Client client = _repo.getById(id);
name = client.name;
} catch {
name = "noname";
}
😂😂😂😂😂 -
What a marvellous money making combination. Entity Framework generated queries and Azure DTUs. Satyr Nadella laughing all the way to the bank
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