It happened again.

This time my colleague, is abbreviating "cumulative" as "cum" in a variable name, and now I have to control my 6th grade humor...

Being told I’m not experienced enough to get a senior dev job I interviewed for.
Even though I aced the first 4 interview rounds, the tech test feedback was “the best solution they had ever seen”, and I’ve been a senior dev for 25 years.
Time wasting assholes.

!rant Pulled an accidental all-nighter on Friday because I started crocheting a blanket for the cats and lost track of time. I am becoming a crocheting fiend!

My ex-boyfriend once saw my post on the devRant and he said something, in a demeaning way, that don't screw up your brain with all this. Till now this community has given me support that he couldn't give me in his time. Instead he created problems. That's why he is my ex. :)

Thanks to dev Rant. :)

Up for a rollercoaster?

I had a super motivated day where i could focus and wanted to get my work done. My stupid work lappy instead kept throwing tantrums and totally prevented me from working. (Everything caused disk thrashing, took multiple minutes instead of seconds, etc.) Total shit day, but I felt great.

Next morning, I woke up all achy and cold. Ignored it and went to work. I was able to fix everything, and got my benchmarks running smoothly in all of fifteen minutes. Got good results, too! Left work and got married at the courthouse. :)

Went to a restaurant afterward, and two jolly fat guys (Off-duty Santa?!) bought us lunch.

Got home and… started feeling really awful. A little while later, I had a 102*f fever. Collapsed on the floor with an electric blanket and was absolutely miserable. Just kind of stared for hours, aching everywhere. Eventually went to bed, and my wife (!) made me all warm and comfy. And then I proceeded to be completely unable to sleep. Or move. Or think. Laid there for four hours unable to move, and shaking violently at any touch of cold air.

Now it’s 1am and I’m here at the freezing kitchen table writing this.

I am miserable.
Absolutely miserable.
But still happy, too!

🥶👰‍♀️💍👰🏻‍♀️

Going reverse in time

Doing some Christmas shopping.

Creating some throwaway accounts in various e-shops

Some e-shops send me my password via email upon registration.

I've spent the better half of a day emailing those e-shops to revise their IT security policies.

Haven't bought a single gift yet.

Time well spent!

Finally got some free time cook for myself a lunch...

Don't have worry about the company project anymore.

😋

Imagine a person in 2020 meeting a time traveller from 2030.
— man, this pandemic sucks
— yeah, it's just the first year though
— the first what?
— yeah, pandemic didn't even end until the war
— until the WHAT?

I fucking hate it when developers don’t respect user locale. My phone language is UK English, my Discord app language is UK English and my region is UK.

Then why the fuck is Discord showing me MM/DD/YYYY date format? How hard is it to pass locale when parsing time?

I just went to a job interview and ended up declining their offer & I said thank you for the opportunity and their reply was, "I wish you hadn't wasted our time." It made me cry and it was SO unprofessional.

If you absolutely have to bombard me with meetings, I'd very much appreciate you being on fucking time.

My advisor thought that my MCL algorithm behaves a bit strange, so he wanted me to investigate it. I said I'd be happy to review the code because I anyway considered refactoring, and asked if I can have another pair of eyes to help me.
A more senior PhD student was assigned to help me, and by the suggestion of my advisor we tested my code against a very well-written and well-performing implementation of MCL. This implementation was written by another professor, who is a close friend of my advisor and the actual supervisor of the student assigned to help.
But this implementation was optimized for a very specific type of maps, and on the maps I worked on it just failed consistently. The student, in a misguided attempt to protect the pride of his advisor and subsequently his, wasted days adding code and fine-tuning the implementation.
In the meantime, my MCL has a stable configuration that converges on both types of maps. It behaves differently, but the outcome is about the same as the other implementation.
I am a little sick of wasting my time (week+) on someone else's attempt to reassure their ego, so I'm doing my planned research work on the weekend...

Didn't finish morning run in time for morning scrum call. Looks like I'm answering the call from here.

Every god damn time.

Scrum Master: Let's estimate the task. Chose your estimations individually, then we will reveal at the same time and discuss
- variety of votes, ranging from 1 to 8
Product Owner: I don't agree, this should be a 1 or 2.
Dev Team Lead: Agreed, this is why I chose 2. Let's vote again.
- All votes now are 1s or 2s

Good fucking job 🤨

How can I feel so smart and so dumb at the same time?

Manager: we should arrange regular catchups, I have several Monday morning, how about 10:30, that'd be 9:30 your time?

Me inside: dude, we both know I struggle to be up in time for the scrum at 10, do you really think I'm going to be any better at 9:30?

Me outside: How about 10:30 after scrum?

Manager: OK, that works, I have half an hour between meetings

Me: Thank fuck.

Just spent 10+ hours refactoring a code, and at the end I've figure it out a one line fix to the problem... just wasted 10 hours of my life.. :)

Manager: What's your time estimate on that latest ticket?

Dev: It's literally written in the "time estimate" field on the ticket, even in standard human units like "hours", "minutes", and "seconds"

Manager: ...

Dev: ...

Hipsters be like: i aM iN cOnTrOl oF mY oWn LiFe

And then proceed to give away their Calendly link.

Fucking hilarious. They fail to realise that time is the most important entity anyone can have. And they give it away to strangers to control their time.

Imagine, giving access and control of your most important entity of your life to some random stranger on internet.

I coincidently found this. I had to read it three times before I understood what the message was.

I am slowly getting back to my life where I had good work life balance, but this time I am paid well with lots of learning.

I am on my way to become a time millionaire.

Remember that time I taught a "senior" full stack developer what the HTTP PATCH verb was, DURING an interview?

Didn't get the job.

Yeah. Those were good times.

I recently left a company where we had 2 hour long standups. I was so tired of them because half the time was deprioritizing what we prioritized yesterday. Everyday there was something more urgent coming up. It was a startup with 6 engineers. Sometimes the conversations were just random stuff that could easily take 45 minutes.

Now it feels so nice doing 15 minutes standups and then having the time to do the actual work.

Dear Boss

Would you.
Fucking.
PLEASE.
Stop.
Moving.
The Standup.
Time.

You've fucked around with the meeting time eight times since the end of Jan. Figure your schedule out, pick a time for our daily shit, and stick to it dude. PLEASE.

I'm a family man and you're making my mornings absolute hell to plan for.

Signed,

me.

DEAR CTOs, PLEASE ASK THE DEVELOPER OF THE SOFTWARE WHICH YOU ARE PLANNING TO BUY IN WHAT LANGUAGE AND WHAT VERSION THEY ARE WRITTEN IN.

Background: I worked a LONG time for a software company which developed a BIG crm software suite for a very niche sector. The softwary company was quite successfull and got many customers, even big companies bought our software. The thing is: The software is written in Ruby 1.8.7 and Rails 2. Even some customer servers are running debian squeeze... Yes, this setup is still in production use in 2022. (Rails 7 is the current version). I really don't get it why no one asked for the specific setup, they just bought it. We always told our boss, that we need time to upgrade. But he told every time, no one pays for an tech upgrade... So there it is, many TBs of customer data are in systems which are totally old, not updated and with possibly security issues.

Finding a forum post that perfectly describes your extremely niche problem only to have the solution posted in a bunch of dead photobucket links has to be one of the worst emotional rollercoasters of all time.

if (time >= 10)
{
SleepyTime();
}
else
{
WriteCode();
}

My brain wanted to type 'async' and 'await' at the same time

I typed awync

Return to office, return of the haikus:

Returned to office.
Time for the daily standup
On Microsoft Teams. 😒

Forgot to secure my mongo db instance, found half the data gone, and a new db holding me at ransom , learn_how_to_recover_your_data , good thing offline backups are a thing.

Recovered in no time, never will I ever repeat this mistake

My boss once decided to employ a team of developers from Ukraine because it was cheap.

I worked with these people (remote) for years and their humuor, hard work mentality and intelligence impressed me.

They became my friends and i have visited them in Poltava many time since.

Please fight for Ukraine! A lot of great devs are there!

The time when work got you burnt out / exhausted?
Yes.

Idk why but every time I hear the business side ppl use corporate buzzwords I wanna punch them in the face…

What's the longest time you've gone without sleep?

Once upon a time
Performance Review, "great job", "like all your achievements so far".. signed.

Two days later, same manager, "as you can guess, you didn't pass probation. Could have done more."
"Oh more like?"
"Just, you know, more."

Urgh, fucking excel!
Why the fuck can't you handle a few thousand calculations you dumb ass piece of shit.

I am this close to... fuck, it crashed. 🤦‍♂️

I fucking give up.
Time to strap this data to a DB instead.

Manager: (𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑒𝑠 𝑡𝑖𝑐𝑘𝑒𝑡)

Title: Something something related to the dynamic display of a button on one of our screens in our UI

Description: Something something completely different related to how entities are filtered on a different screen

Dev: f*&$ing hell, do i have to give yet ANOTHER schooling in JIRA this week?!

I swear they're drunk every time they write tickets.

"Writing good code is a charity". ( - saves time, effort, mental-health, & career of next developer).

Now I have checked
Twitter
Instagram
InterNations
LinkedIn
Telegram
Reddit
devRant

It's time to seize the day

At what point do I stop being a Jr dev? Is it a time spent in the field type of thing?

Or is everyone a Jr dev and titles are pointless.

My manger get 4 promotions
While you're stuck in the same place,
Time to move?

Freak yeah!!! Just installed my first SSL Certificate on my Ubuntu Server!!!!! 🤘🏾🤘🏾🤘🏾🤘🏾🤘🏾 First time I had my IT friend do it. I thought about contacting him again, but then thought, what the hell, let's give 'er a shot. 2 days and a whole lot of anger and frustration later https:// is a green light!!! 😝😝😝😝😝😝😝

“Don’t waste your time learning Angular” - mentor, 2019

Dev: Writes "this feature will take some time..." (proceeds to list bullet points touching on the main modifications required)

Manager: Can you explain what you mean by "takes some time?"

Dev: ...

Manager: ...

Why the fuck do managers think beacuse a component has been build by another developer a shit ton of time ago, we can still reuse that fucking code.

For fucks sake, I had to rebuild a whole fucking map component that needed contextual filter and the fuckers just add extra functionality without consulting me. And gave me a tight schedule bc the customer, who btw disappeared for 6 months, will be mad for wasting his precious fucking time.

Fuck these clients.

WK289 Playing automation games like factorio, heavily modded Minecraft, satisfactory, etc, let's me do all the things that I want to do in my job but we simply don't have the time or resources for. It makes me a better engineer because I'm less frustrated during my day job.

For the first time I tried to use WordPress. I spent almost 30mins. Now I decided I should not use that again in my life. Fuck WordPress.

So now that Covid is apparently "gone", management wants us to come to the office to participate in daily team building events to hype up people to commute full time...
but still gotta finish those milestone deliveries while having too many meetings and deadlines.

Murphy is watching us from above with a shit-eating grin.

A rather happy/neutral post this time for a change. Lol

Firstly the good news: I have successfully recovered from the emotional/mental abuse and have been doing really well. My faith in myself has been slowly restored.

Secondly, I have started to pursue my hobbies again and find joy in them. I spend more and more time listening to music and play video games (CS:GO and AoM).

I have started getting more sun and also spend time outside socialising.

I can sense my happiness and joy get restored in my life.

Now on career front, I have started job hunting again as you all know. The interview process for Product Management is absolutely broken and taxing to go through all the loops.

During all my previous job hunts (three times), I was able to nail down at least one offer in a quarter.

This time, I started in October 2021 and still no success. I have much more experience and skill-set this time yet failures.

Fear not. My optimism is back this time. I am aware of where I am going wrong and sometimes I feel the situation is truly out of my control. The two major reasons I forsee are:

1. Relocation: it can take few months for me to relocate to UK/EU and hence, companies are preferring local candidates.

2. My duration with current employer is just 8 months which could be a potential turn off for many HMs. They might think I am a job hopper and maybe one of the reasons why I got so many calls and opportunities at my previous employer (I was stable with them for 7.5 years).

I feel it's just the matter of time for me now where I must hold my horses and keep the momentum without losing hope.

I will win.

What you see:
"we gonna build a new application to replace our legacy one"

How to read:
"we gonna make you put more shit in the legacy app whenever we want and still keep asking about the new app you don't have the time to make"

New opportunity coming to the people who try. Got this opportunity, i better not suck at it. Give it regular time everyday to earn atleast some title before my degree.

I do believe, genuinely that “I don’t know” is sometimes an acceptable answer. If you don’t know, you don’t know. I appreciate the honesty.

But at the same time

I don’t know how much longer I can take “I don’t know” as an answer from my boss when I ask about critical business things HE tasked me with, or things relating to career development and maximizing my time with this company.

Do I need my boss to have all the answers on company revenue? No.

Do I need my boss to at least have an understanding on wtf is going with projects when my priorities get changed mid-project for the 4th time? Hell yes.

I think I used to rage more at complete idiots when I was younger because I had the time and energy to do so

Now I've seen it at least a million times and just don't give a shit anymore

There are so many weird hacks in the quite legacy app I work with I could write a book about all them hacks…

But I must admit, the worst of them all is internal time. Yes, so some blockhead thought it’s a good idea to represent time in a manner completely removed from Datetime objects or timestamps or even string representations. Instead we deal with them as intervals represented by integers - and because this is not fucked up enough by itself, the internal time doesn’t start at midnight, yet the integer representations do. It’s a bloody mess. No wonder most of the bugs we face have to do with dates and time…

First time committing a ticket is scary… I can’t stop thinking how my colleagues and tech lead gonna look at my code and question me if I lied on my resume…

Doing e-learning for a job

One of the examples provided:
"You could be late for work (fail to meet your objective of being on time) because you're hit by a car whilst crossing the road"

Are you fucking kidding me, I think being late to work would be the least of my worries. Fuck corporate bullshit.

If Bill Gates had a dime for every time Windows crashed ... Oh wait, he does.

That one time a Brazilian got into ny GitHub account.

Don't reuse passwords kids!

v2.0.22 is now officially LIVE in GMT+2. Congrats and good job everybody!

Let's not fuck this one up, shall we? Let's keep our shit together this time.

In commiseration that everyone that ever spent too much time dealing with Azure DevOps Pipelines.

How to make your employees feel like shit 101:

Continually praise a small group of people for doing something for a few days that someone else does as their full time job. Call what that team did "unlike anything else in the software development world"

I am soooo fucking pissed right now. You can guess what side of this I am on.

What I learned from devrant:
There is someone, somewhere, that will upvote the stupidest shit.

Which I find both terrifying and humorous. This is not a criticism nor a putdown. I find people fascinating. I also realize that my definition of "stupidest shit" is very subjective. This is definitely the most "fun" forum I have been on in a long time.

uSE AnY pRogrAmMinG L@ngu@g3 yOu liKe.

1nTervi3weRs Do N0t CarE aBouT tHe L@nGuAge.

Fuck you. Stop asking time complexity or space complexity of functional code. No one fucking knows.

I used to do some freelance work for a nonprofit. I’d do some website stuff and gallery sitting.

My friend was the gallery director. When she left, I decided to stop freelancing there and I dropped off the keys with the new director. I told them they could contact me later if they have questions about some things I implemented on the website. The new director thinks I’m a random freelancer and starts to BADMOUTH MY FRIEND, the former director.

Over a year later, the gallery assistant emails me asking about SSL warnings and cc’s the new director. WTF.

1) Those warnings were happening long before I left and long before I even started. 2) I am not your website support. I only invited contact for things I worked on. 3) The assistant already contacted Squarespace and Go Daddy for help and they gave her instructions.

I told her I didn’t set up their website and it sounds like she has the resources to resolve this on her own and she should contact Squarespace and Go Daddy if she needs more help. After all, you pay those companies for their services support and my time isn’t free.

I have a power nap after lunch. No matter what. Waking up from a nap is like getting a new extra day for free. And this time whatever was bad before the nap just doesn't seem so bad anymore.

When you want to wake up early in the morning but you accidently open devrant before going to bed and there goes your 2 hours without noticing what time it is and still you can't get enough of it. #devrantaddiction

The city sent us a letter warning us to remove our trash can on time because it could affect property values and violates the city code. Which okay fine but these half assed roads are hurting property values way worse 😤

Features of any software product development: there is a catastrophic lack of time to get rid of bugs, but always enough time to make them even more. 🤦‍♂️

LMFAO

nice one dude. i'm gonna approve this one time just to show you i'm a good boss.

....of course not.

Upgraded from a gen 6 motherboard and cpu to a gen 11. And the difference is asounding.

My old setup did everything I needed it to pretty well. Hell it got me through college as well as multiple part time and full time jobs. As well as the system that I learned about 80% of what I know specifically for my career

But alas the old cpu's age started showing and I'd consistently throttle multiple threads when compiling or even just using 7z on large folders. Hell deleting anything above a couple hundred mb would pause for a few seconds

The new cpu is immensely faster on such tasks (probably cause of the extra 2 cores and cpu improvements since gen 6)

I haven't been this excited since I got my first SSD a few years ago and saw the immense boot time improvements. Maybe soon I'll get an nvme drive and really be zooming with this setup 🤣🤣🤣

Why?! Just why?!
I just upgraded LibreOffice on my Linux machine. To version 7.3.0.3.

Now every time I press save it just selects the save button box. Then I have to press it again to save. What is the reason for such a massive UI fail?

To cope I will probably just hit ctrl-s.

Actually let people in? IDK, as someone who's trying to finish her last academic step, I am mostly killing time instead of doing something useful.

The scary thing about burnout is that you usually don't realize you are burning out before it's too late.

Personally, at least, I've worked on projects that just felt a little intense at the time, but after taking a step back due to holidays or hitting some milestone I realize I never want to have anything to do with it ever again. One project makes my stomach drop even today every time I see the code; Not because the code is bad, but how it takes me back to how miserable I was without admitting it to myself.

The biggest red flag I look for is when I'm tempted to work on stuff in my free time. When this starts seeming like a solution there's a serious problem with the project that needs to be addressed.

It really sucks when you join a company, you are really excited and then you see that the management and the work culture in the company sucks and you cant wait to leave...such a waste of time and energy :'(

“You know what is not fungible, scarce and valuable to me? My time! So if you wish to persuade me NFT are a good thing, you should pay me a fair amount of real money to make me listen your bullshit”

From now on this will be my standard reply to NFT harassment.

Feel free to use, edit and share with others.

I love job posts made by HR cronies:

"A majority of your time will be enabling development in our React Native app with a large amount of time dedicated to the rest of our stack."

So, if my math is correct... a majority is greater than 50%... but... "a large amount of time" meaning the rest?

Another job post asking for the typical 10x dev

BuT wHy CaNt We FiNd AnYoNe?!?!?! ThErEs NoT eNoUgH gOoD heLP tHeSe DaYs!!!

The guy kept laughing all the time, so I turn and I see… a guy browsing anime underage feet pics.

And yes, before you ask he looked like the basement dweller meme guy.

However pathetic it may sound, I haven't. I've made good acquaitances, yes. But friends...

Last I had friends was in my first uni years. Long, long ago. After that - they went on their path and I - on mine. Work, family, personal projects and sometimes moto rides - that's my life now. Not really much time for friends. Not really much time to make any. Not enough time in a day to think/worry about it, not to mention reconsider my priorities/choices.

Do you use the well known "pattern" for positioning fingers on the keyboard for faster typing, or you just came up with your own "pattern" as time passed?

There was a time when backend engineers used to make fun of frontenders and tell them 'you arent a real software engineer', nowadays frontend is getting so complex and cool that even backenders are now starting to learn frontend. I am so happy that because of new tech and frameworks frontend has gained such a massive respect.

This was a long time ago, when I was an 18 year old junior dev in my first job and still studying at college part of the time.

The lead programmer saying things like “we [meaning the experienced devs] are alright if this project goes wrong but you need to prove that you can deliver because you could be out of a job”.
Thanks. Mofo set me right up for lasting confidence issues.

Less than two years later I was killing it when the language they used became object oriented. That asshole couldn’t understand any of the concepts.
That feeing of being out of my depth has lingered though.

i think it's a waste of time and resources to memorize syntax and other stuff you can google. since we have a lot of material available, we should focus on logic, more abstract concepts, stuff you can't copy paste. well, I think that should be the way in every area, not only CS

Started a new job last week. Pays a tad below average for position, but i get training time and budget for anything i want.
So far i have had few days of company introduction, and now a week for training courses related to position.
I have not seen any code yet, brought no value in, just joined.
Massive green flag to me.

Block off blocks of time as “unavailable” and use that for me time. Gym. Take a walk. Watch some tv. Read a book.

debug hell

senior: i'm going to read the code changes of the PR that caused this bug, many files , lots of lines of code to see if i can suss out this issue

me: skimmed the PR, i give up, unga bunga time, time to compare the variables in the debugger between the different implementations, found the difference

due credit, the unga bunga approach worked this time, might nto always work

Alright, it looks like everyone at this bank, a client, I work for will now start avoiding me. I'm usually the only person that takes the time to review PRs and give a feedback. Everyone just seem to click accept because they can't be bothered.

A few months down the line, they begin to wonder why there is so many tech all over the place.

Good luck to anyone that wants me to review their PRs. I pledge to continue to take the time to review PRs and give feedback. I will not be pressured to click the accept button on what I perceive to be sub-optimal code. So help me God.

First time using a computer:

Booting up some Mickey Mouse game from a floppy disk when I was 4 on my dads gateway 2000.

First time coding:
Writing html in dream weaver at 14.

Edit: holy shit dreamweaver still exists?

Rebase onto master. Compiler fails to compile c++ stl.

Time to finish work.

My mans literally just wrote "Our company was under a hack attack" in an email.

What a time to be alive.

Ok soooo boss asks me: "When is the website going to be ready?"
me: today i'll be through
----------------------------------------
4 hours later:
Site 90% done
- messed up theme
- try reinstalling theme
- 2 try
- 3rd try
- 4th try
- 5th try: success , time 6:00pm
-----------------------------------------
SENDING DAILY REPORT:
Site is 90% complete and waiting for content from client
- projects
- logo
- images

!rant
...i realized i can actually pattern-match like this (as in, sequence of elements (including "whatever") instead of just head::rest in F#...

...from watching a talk about prolog.

like "wait... prolog can do this when pattern-matching? that seems very useful. i think i tried to do that in F# but it didn't work, which seems stupid... I'm gonna go try it again".

and sure enough =D
i think i really am gonna like F# if i find the time and resolve to break through how its different mode of thinking stretches my brain in ways it hasn't been stretched for a long time =D

Hey boss. I’m not a mind reader. If you need me to change what I’m doing or how I’m doing it, you have to tell me. You changed my job three times since I was hired and our processes twice. Now would be a good time to pick a play and stick with it.

wish can do coding in fix hours :(

Learning react .. just took one cup of tea in morning.. and dang its 8pm :( No idea about the time.. react giving me hard time. maybe am newbie ..

Hope so I learn this Single Page application

probably every time I see my tests failing.

Each time I am writing tests I'm convincing myself "it's an investment", "spend 2 hours now to save 2 days later", "unit-tests are good".

And each time I'm chasing away ideas like "perhaps they are right, perhaps writing unit tests is a waste of time..", "this code is simple, it should ever break - why test it??", "In the 2 hours I'll spend writing those UT I could build another feature"

Yes, it is terribly annoying to write tests, especially after writing the production code (code-first approach). Why test code that you know works, right?

But after a few weeks, months or years, when the time comes to change your feature: enhance it, refactor it, build an integration with/from it, etc, I feel like a child who found a forgotten favourite candy in his pocket when I see my tests failing.

It means I did a very good job writing them
It means it was not a waste of time
it means these tests will now save me hours or days of trial-and-error change→compile→deploy→test cycles.

So yeah, whenever I see my tests fail, I feel warm and fussy inside :)

My dream project is to continue and improve my gaming website. It's a blog & community that's supportive of (but not limited to) female gamers. It's a positive place for gamers of any type to go, judgement free.

I have so many big ideas for the site, a forum, possibly user profiles, gaming quizzes and trivia, lots more ways to interact. I would love to do like a "find the right game for you" type of thing and have more time to blog..but I just simply don't have the time right now. :(

Baby steps for now. 🎮

F*** u apple. From time to time I develop Apps for Android and iOS and boy is the whole iOS app distribution workflow bad.

I try for hours to upload a update for my app.

First I needed the readd my credit card then there were internal server errors and after that I needed to regenerate provisioning profiles.

Everytime I use something from apple, then I experience such a bad user experience. "It just works" not anymore friendo...

And so.. I have noticed.. every time I ignore Windows updates for a little while.. the laptop just starts shitting. It gets so fucking slow that you can’t even move the cursor properly. So you have to force shut down the laptop and turn it ON.. and Windows starts updating!

Not at all irritating 😊

It was right in our faces all this time ;-;

It's pc cleaning time.

Not leaning on unit tests. I usually write them after testing my code manually, and lose time for testing feature by hand.

All time favorite

If you're a recruiter approaching people on linkedin then don't be a fucking idiot and waste their time, get to the fucking point damn it!

No one's interested in going back and forth with you over email especially when you have their number and could be done with it over a phonecall.

It’s time for me to be on the other side of the table. Any suggestions on how to be a great interviewer?

Agile is a fancy word for we, the top Dawgs can change the requirements at any time and you dev peasants will have to deal with it.

Sometimes I feel like I have to hire a boss for myself. I would tell what shall I work on, and his job would be schedule my time and make deadlines.

Confession:

Owned a smartphone for 10 years, this month was my first time ever getting 3G/4G connection ...

I prefer no internet when I'm out ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Told my client last october that I would not be doing a migration.

Two weeks ago they wanted me to do the migration and I told them I will do my best to create estimates but that it was the first time.

Gave them a resonable estimate to migrate the content.

And last meeting they cut the time by 70% to meet the budget.

Fuck the budget, can't pay then you don't get the shiny new toy.

I'm a contractor, not a fucking employee. So all the extra hours are on me.

Going to give them a piece of my mind today.

If I lose this client, i don't give a fuck.

Had a bad dream one night that my bosses were going to run me through the ringer on some stuff that I needed to do better.

A day later, exactly that happened.

It would’ve been nice if my premonition could have had a few days gap between dream and reality so I’d have had some time to fix things first.

I have been sitting in front of my laptop for 4 hrs without getting up with full concentration and now all I can see is black boxes wherever I look.

Why, for the love of all that is good, does anyone still code for absolute placements in css?!

I've spent 90%+ of my time lately making some changes, which is about 20x harder than it needed to be because this app (written in the last 1-3 years) has all of the styling set explicitly. How does anyone justify that?

Learn php. It's the future!

Actually it was good advice at it's time.

i was probably 4 or 5, my mom brought some educational games from school and I'd often play them. I don't remember a time before computers though

Worst: being forced back into the loud distracting office, to add on to the badness the covid restrictions were not taken very seriously

Best: getting a new full time remote job and an awesome company with some awesome team mates

Bonus is I now work from home fully but can still hang out with my great former coworkers

The one time I post to Stack Overflow for the answer to the problem I found get downvoted. WTF. There's so much filtering and elitism on that site.

Back to being a lurker.

I would not consider myself an overachiever by any means, but I must say, I'm quite satisfied with my contributions this year at the new (relatively speaking) job. I got to go back to writing code almost every day, all day, and that sure as hell beats being in meetings all the goddamn time.

Stands up are waste of time.

Yes, comedy and meetings, both.

The U in CRUD is a real downer. I reinvent it every time.

So I am new to coding — excited to be learning but terrified to get out and find some sort of job when that time comes.

In 2019 I want to get better at PHP & React & stop being afraid to try & fail! I do a lot of front end work, backend still baffles me a lot. Time to get uncomfortable! 👩🏼‍💻🤓

My parents didn't care at all. I guess they were just glad that they didn't have to pay for my expenses anymore, which they barely did anyway. Both have worked in physically demanding jobs and were extremely restrictive in the amount of time I could spend with computers.
Fucktards.

Most of your time is going to be spent on Stack Overflow.

Hail Adventurer,

By Linus, do not fear what you see
and curse not I, but those before me

hold steady in the storms to come
brace for bugs, wherever from

I pass on to you, the light of PHP
Use it well, to fight against scrutiny

if it works, keep it so, ask not why
my time is over, while yours is nigh

Finishing my degree after moving to a foreign country alone, while also working as a dev part time.

I recently moved to another country and switched jobs, and even though I'm getting stuff done, I feel like I just don't deserve the job. It just feels surreal that I made it so far and it just feels like dumb luck sometimes.

someone once told me this and every time im in a slump and on the clock it at least makes me smirk

"i like shitting on company time, because they're paying me to shit"

Am I the only engineer that has a terrible time with relationships(not db relationship lol) I get so caught up in work.

How do y’all manage?

Hi, how y'all doing?

my boss some months ago: so there is this new project, and we're planning to slowly fade in and gradually increase the time you guys work on this project

new pm last week: welcome to the project, you're now 100% allocated to the new project, that's your highest prio now
me: ...what about the other projects? they might have questions xD
pm: don't worry about that, dealing with that is not your job

my boss this week: yeah no, the other releases are most important for our company. the new project needs to be subordinated and has lower prio, at least lower prio than critical and highly prioritized bugs.
me: so.... who decides which items from which projects i shall prioritize higher than the new project and how much time i shall spend on them?
my boss: it is your job to talk to people, give them estimates and tell them how many items you can work on, so they can decide which items they pick

so basically i'm having the feeling that i need to manage myself here. it will be fun to attend the new project daily standups and tell the new pm all the time that i couldn't do anything because i had no time. anyone else with this experience? is this normal? actually i liked our new pm's attitude "dealing with that is not your job". i should have known it was too good to be true ^^'

Man all I ever do is fix bugs in a giant overgrown calculator, that has references to code before I was even born. It might be new job time

Okay... see ya guys :D remaining time 2182 hours

Any night, 1:30am, bedtime: "Yes! I can't WAIT for tomorrow to begin! I'm gonna make SO much progress on that personal project that I just KNOW is gonna change the world and make me a billionaire! My time is now!"

Next day, 9am, first call of the day: "Ugh, waking up SUUUUUCKS! But, fine, just gotta get through the workday, then it's beast mode time!"

5pm: "Ugh, that day SUCKED... meeting after meeting, constant interruptions for the few minutes I got to hack code, SO many emails, and hey, good day, only five new things pushed down from corporate to bang my head against! Feelings pretty mentally exhausted, but it's all good, I fortunately love this programming stuff, so first dinner, then a little exercise, spend some time with the family, and then it's time to COOOODE!"

10pm: "Ok, house is FINALLY quiet (fucking dog), just a little noise from my daughter staying up way too late again... kinda spent, but this project still excites me, and I may not get as much done as I was hoping, but fine, I can still make some tangible progress and that's what matters. Maybe just one last quick check of email, Reddit, make sure there's no new Hot Ones or Honest Trailers I gotta watch, update IDEA plugins and see what's new, then it's work time! Nothing can stop me now!"

Any night, 1:30am, bedtime: "SHIT! I GOT FUCK ALL DONE AGAIN! GO DAAAAAAAMN IIIIIT!!!!"

Is there a scientific term for *that* window of time where you feel totally unproductive before or after a call/standup? How long is it for you?

Trying to learn CSS for the first time is equally fun and painful

Starting my day with 15 emails that I urgently need to respond to. I hate Thursdays. It's just meetings and emails and more meetings and more emails. No time to get work done.

Complete the project I am working on (which I am hoping will become a product for the company I am planning to start )

Spend more time with my family.

Improve on my tech skills

The most fun I've ever had coding was creating a hidden object game in school (with Flash/ActionScript3). I even had a dude do voiceovers, it was dope! I would love to learn more gaming development but no time. :(

Not a rejection per se, but a company I applied to just stopped emailing me after trying to arrange a day for me to come to the office and meet the team, following an informal phone interview. They dragged their heels while I was on leave and by the time they got back to me I was back at work and had limited time. They basically just ghosted me after that.

Does this happen to anybody else?
Randomly my devRant app turns chinese for some days. And its the second time now. Then after some time it goes back to english.
I have nothing to do with chinese and never changed any settings lol :D

My first experience with computer was when I was 4/5 years old. We had DOS computer. I did not know anything that time. How to start game or anything. So my dad wrote down steps on my notebook for starting the 'Dave' game. I played that game nearly 2 years, along with 'Prince'. This brings lot of dos memories. :)

What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y.

Every fucking time I get an application for simple stuff like cleaning or weight measuring, and it asks me for completely unnecessary things like making an account and requesting access to my gps location, I look up the company and find out it's Chinese. What the fuck man.

I like talking to uber drivers with some limited tech experiences. My uber today was telling me about when he was helping his kid pick parts for their custom desktop as well as setting it up and the weird issues they ran into over time due to it being their first time installing windows from nothing and their troubleshooting process to solve things I might consider basic problems

Simple things yeah. But still interesting to listen about. Maybe I'm just simple and easily entertained

Less screen time.

Stepping away to realize that maybe I'm part of the problem.

Talking to my manager about frustrations if they persist.

My personal top 4:
good tea,
good booze,
time with gf,
time with friends,

Just clears my head, but doing any of my other hobbies can really help because it just gets me in a different headspace

I have always been a loner. I cherished being alone and referred my own time. But now it suddenly feels like I am drowning in loneliness, my feet can’t find traction and I’m swallowing gulps of dirty water. I hope I don’t drown.

When you have a poorly designed dating site, what should you do, make it better, or make it worse..

Why, worse of course !

Just like Badoo did when they took away all those search options that would let you narrow your search down to a single person..

Last time did that, after a few years of chatting, they even wanted me to move in with them ! ( I didn't as they wasn't suitable enough, but they was the most suitable on the site at the time ! )

Now I have to wade through half a million members, one at a time..

A bit like Ebay..

Or reading YouTube comments..

Start coding tools that make our lives easier, not harder !!!

Software is supposed to do the heavy lifting, not pass the buck to the human !

Me: *newly learning MySQL*

Also me: time to buy wedding rings for my pinky finger and the caps lock key

How many years experience as a dev do you need to feel like the cool hacker guy in the movies instead of a blind monkey trying to play the violin for the first time?

I'm in awe as to how quickly time just flows when I'm coding at work

So I'm apparently not allowed to work with what I've learned in my work in my free time.

My boss gave me the job to create modifications for an already existing tool. I always wanted to do that and I started to collect ideas a long time ago what I want to have. So I kindly shared my ideas with my boss and started working on it. Since I'm leaving the company I now longer work on these things and now I started continue working on MY ideas in my free time.

And for protocol: I didn't take any of my code I wrote in my working time and I didn't apply anything else that clearly belongs to the company.

Now I have a problem with my boss. I shared him my ideas so now they belong to the company. And I learned how to create modifications for this tool in my working time so now I'm not allowed to use this knowledge for anything else. I had an argument with my boss but he persists on the idea that since he gave me this little feedback that my ideas are great, they now belong to his company and he wants to put me into big trouble now...

That moment where you're scared for you job because one of your merges seemingly broke the builds for the 2nd time in a week, had HR reach out, a more senior developer take over the ticket after it gets sent back from testing twice ONLY TO FIND OUT LATER IT WAS ANOTHER PERSONS TICKET THAT WAS CAUSING THE ISSUE

So exams are coming up and I’m not even ready at all :,,) I Need and want to study But At the same time i want to draw and animate. When i think about these two stuff my brain becomes soggy and very slow so in the end I don’t do anything and it’s bad :,,) I really suck at planning stuff out, do you all have any good schedules that work? :DD

I dont know how to timeline projects. I tell clients that it will be ready in one month. But the project will be so big that it takes lot of time to actually code it and do all the procedures around it. I m just giving them timeline based on the speed of my mind.

Since the last time, people trolled me in my former employment. Now is my turn!

My whitewashed LinkedIn profile keeps getting harassed by recruiters when no one looks at my real LinkedIn profile under my Chinese name.

To save everyone's time typing fuck you because I am using LinkedIn. I will type it for you: fuck me.

Why is the C++ build and package management system so complicated? I feel like whenever I work on a C++ project, I spend more than half my time just figuring out how to set up the environment, build the binaries, run the tests, when I’d rather and should be writing code.

Does anyone have experience on just "taking" the team organizer slot? My current team meetings are just nuts. A lot of ummms and awkward silences no structure and each runs at least 100% longer than the allotted time. No preparations are made before the meetings. The oldest team member has only been with the company like 1,5 year. I crave more organization

#Story time.
Been working on a project for 2 months with Colleague "Jim" doing the code reviews. Project is finished in a stable form and can be extended if needed. Then my other colleague/boss "Mo" decided that we need to do a refactor. Fast forward a bit and the conclusion is "Mo" and "Jim" are going to discuss every step with me. And we started a new project that should do the same as the project I just finished

Here some facts:
Every day a meeting/ code review / discussion.
Decisions they make I do not agree with.
I need to redo my work multiple times.

Now this does make me look like a toddler that needs supervision which is not the case.
They want something future proof and something that fits his new coding standard "Mo". and certain things I do agree with and is clearly the better architecture. however somethings are just stupid, time wasting, making it worse. I'm getting so frustrated by the fact that billion dollar companies have clear coding standards that work. and are correct. and this company decided to do their own thing of stupid rules!

- shorten variables
- Keep lines under 90char
- put multiple things in 1 file
- Keep function names short
and many more of removing stuff and let you guess stuff..

I just... *sigh* get so tired of this shit.

*names are randomly chosen

Front End Web Dev 💻 I've dabbled in game development and wish I had more time for it. 🎮

Demo of a feature had to be canceled just minutes before the meeting. Entire environment is hosed and don’t know why. Also, the feature to be demonstrated turned out to not be working before the environment stopped working, so we now have more time to shift to another solution. Win?

I hate the paperwork every time the new project starts.

Every time there is a new project, we programmers swear to ourselves that we will code it better this time. We get elated that we do not have to deal with the tech debts piled up in the old module.

anybody else's hands and wrists hurt all the time like the devil sat on them

So I don’t get the hype behind GraphQL. Why is it so damn popular on one hand, on the other hand not popular enough to make an old fart like me want to spend time to learn how to use it?

is it so hard to screen capture only the relevant details necessary to reproduce a bug? i just watched a video where for 2:30 min, literally nothing happened. and half of rest of the time, they randomly click stuff, as if they've forgotten what they want to show. nobody can give me this lost lifetime back. and the testuff video player is so crappy that i can't even reasonably jump forward / backward or increase playing speed. i even prefer crappy, wiggly upright phone videos if they are on point and don't steal my time. SHOW ME THE BUG ALREADY

When functionality becomes aesthetic, it's time to sunset.

If you start sweeping a fly off the monitor with the mouse cursor, it's time to turn off the computer. 😵💫

I am I the only one who doesn't like sprint demos? I don't care what someone else worked on. Yeah they wrote some code that does stuff, great. I don't have time to understand it and when I have to fix it I learn it.

I am definitely not sean connory.
I wish linkedin recruiters and devs online would stop accusing me of being sean connory.

Why would I..I mean sean connory, who by the way I am definitely NOT...why would I be on devrant anyway?

For the last time, I am not sean connory.

I started a new job, got through on-boarding and took my first ticket. Made my modification to the code base and the tests fail .. each time I run them .. on different tests .. randomly.

What the hell have I gotten myself into?

I assigned work to my minions aka Jr. Devs for the first time. Feels great. Is this what being a CEO feels like?

try to debug by using your knowledge and understanding, i failed and waste time

give up and compare against something similar that works, difference found

it seems that every time i work on a programming project, that happens within 6 months. i'm currently in another burnout phase, it's been gping on for year and a half, basically.

How do you manage your time after works for your side projects?

These days I'm being a victim of random frequent procrastination after office works.

So the company that asked me to join them for work in a somewhat illegal way, has just sent me a small project to understand how I think inside a project in order to understand whether they should hire me or not.
I have a week to finish that.

It's only frontend, in ReactJS+Tailwind, based on a theme/framework.

I fucking despise ReactJS and specifically told them I much rather work on Angular.

I feel like
I'll just do this project at best, give it to them, wait until they give me the contract and they tell them they'd need to double my pay to have my ass.

Yeah, I just want them to waste time, just like they're wasting my time.

Thanks for wasting my time
Thanks for wasting my time
Thank you for wasting my time
Thank you fopr rwasting my time
Thanks you a lot for watingh WASTING my time
THANK YOU FOR WAXTING MY TIME
Thank you so much for wasting my time!!
Thanks you thank you thank you
wasting my time
I am so done with everything

"I'm gonna pull the whole thing down. I'm gonna bring the whole fuckin' diseased, corrupt temple down on your head. It's gonna be biblical."

I like this line. Resonates with me. Probably should watch the movie some time.

when a senior recommends you rewrite some code with their example snippet (which doesn't work), for the 3rd time, on a different ticket

i guess i should've called them out on the 2nd time this happened, instead of silently not doing so think i'd save them some dignity after telling them the first time they did this, their recommendation didn't pass automated tests

What is a waste of time when you are trying to develop your career as a software engineer?

Did you get onboarded as a developer properly? I mean did you have enough help to start coding real fast in your team? I find my new team has so many resources that I can't even go through and pinging someone every time feels like a kill every time.

Definitely the time when already had the job and had been getting no negative feed back or anything, then suddenly half way through the third month of my three month probation "Yea, we're not keeping you"

It's been a while since I ranted but goddamn people really need to work on fucking communication. Jesus Christ. Make it to the point and think about your listener's POV. God fucking damn it fuckity fuck I am so goddamn tired. 90%of the shit that comes out of their mouths have no point wasting my fucking time. What is the objective of what you're saying?

It's time for me to BOUNCEEE.

I’ve been very unlucky, undertalented, or underfunded with scaling issues. Can’t think of a time I ever successfully scaled a website or application to a faster performance because of any or all of those three factors.

We checked a rather important part in our communication services because it was throwing errors from time to time.

Asked our former technical project lead if he could help us since he developed it.

"I don't really know why it's doing that, I got it from a online example so I know as much as you do"

Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit, it seems I can be a senior developer too!

I'm currently working as an intern in a Web company and its the first time that I have to work 8 hours a day (I'm in college so that's completely new to me).
How do you guys stay focused for 8 hours? It's kinda hard to go from 90 minutes classes to 8 hours of (somewhat) consistent work.

How do I focus for a long period of time?

I think I was having an allergic reaction today and got scared out of it when I remembered the last time it happened.

having your scant free time outside of work consumed by take home assignments to try and get a new job, got like more than 3 assignments to deal with

fml

Tech department wants me to work on cool, innovative stuff for the company. Marketing Director doesn't think anything tech-related is worth my time or cost to company. I'm just here stagnating, building HTML templates over and over again. This guy is holding me back, not letting me develop and at the same time help the company move forward technologically.

I've been complaining about shit hosting provider for over two years now, the other day they went down for days and affects business. Only now they wake up and decide on better hosting environment.

I need to find another job or do my own thing. Fuck corporates with no sense of technological innovation.

Yes, It's very common actually. I get that every time I get out of bed.

What's the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth hurty.

For the first time I work for an old and absolutely massive company. I have never seen systems so byzantine and so outdated ever before. With how the project management on top of it all has been going so far I'm really impressed that anything gets done at all.