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tfw you're so tired of being sick and your body betraying you you start eyeing fucking 400$ emf protection pendants
fuck I hate my life13 -
Although I'm 26, I feel old.
Whenever I meet or hangout with people similar age; I just feel like I don't belong there. Not a good experience.8 -
what percentage of these dune hipsters haven't read a SINGLE word of any of the 6 books in the dune series (yes drooling losers, there are 6 of them)
I'm guessing > 90%
wow congrats you watched a 2 hour film, make it your entire identity 🤡
god the world has become ever decreasing cycles of cringe... they will decrease in time length until we reach unending - and therefore infinite - cringe
FullStackCircus Principle™14 -
the bittersweet relief/despair when your veteran senior tells you that it's a legacy mess you're dealing with here, and that's the basis of the tips/strategy/context given in a task1
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I was in a hurry
this Asian chick grabbed me and not let me pass
I kept slinking out of her grip
she kept grabbing me again
I said "no I'm serious, I gotta go"
I pulled more violently
she fell on the floor
she pulled me down with her
she grabbed my legs
I started kicking her off
a kick to her shoulder dislocated it, but she kept going anyway
I'm trying to get up and kicking
I look back and now even her face is busted
yet she's still going at me, grabbing, pulling
what the fuck?
then the scene changes to a forest
we're in a band and trying to survive out there
by now the jig is up
encounter a person in a clearing, sledgehammer him in the face to disable him so he doesn't notice us
except that didn't do shit. his skull caved in, his bones are broken, but he's moving and moaning to try to get to you. he's not a zombie either. he's alive. looks perfectly alive. but his bones are broken and he's still moving and going. what the fuck do you do?
the bones start moving underneath his skin, he's just reorganizing and reinventing his body live
they're unkillable
the fuck you do now?
I used to have a lot of zombie dreams but what the fuck is this new shit3 -
All parts of the body were having a meeting one day to choose who should be tagged as the leader.
Legs: We should be in charge because we literally carry the whole body the entire day, and without us, nobody is going anywhere.
Asshole: Without me, we cannot get rid of all the things we don't need anymore. I deserve to be in charge.
Brain: Hold up, guys, hold up. Feet, you can't move unless I tell you to move, and you can't even figure out how to put one foot over the other. Asshole, all you do is open and close; you don't even know how things are made. You have nothing to say here.
(The feet agreed, but the asshole took it personally. So he decided to go on strike and stop working for three days. The entire body went into chaos, and they pleaded with the brain for several hours.)
Brain: Okay, Asshole! You can be in charge.
The moral of the story is that sometimes an asshole is in charge not because they're the smartest ones for the position, but because sometimes assholes are in positions of power.2 -
Day one of the sprint and my coworker has already found some fucked up requirements.
Goddamn do I hate this shit sometimes.1 -
man you can tell some of these course selling companies are poorly managed (or rather, perhaps NOT managed) when you have to do the same thing over and over again for over TWO YEARS
HELLOOOOO WHAT ARE YOU DOING... PLEASE PUBLISH MY COURSE NOW
if i'd put the damn thing on Udemy when it was done i'd already be 2-3K richer
...damn, i gotta taper off here with the rage before i reveal my identity at 10K
🤡🤡🤡🤡12 -
Fun fact: in macOS Safari, you can copy text from images. It works on videos as well when you press pause and wait five seconds. This is the next-level web browsing UX — now I can copy text from an image on the internet and paste it anywhere I want.7
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Online logo generator, but it automatically buys an .io domain of your company name and ask you to buy it for 100 times the price.7
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They increased 1 single file to have over 1.6 million records of data and bow the processing takes 12h to complete. They want me to improve the current bash scripts to decrease this processing time down to max 5 hours. Are you serious rn. Do i look like a magic fcking wizard 🧙🏿♂️🪄15
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"Changing your country or region will cancel any automatically renewing subscriptions."
This from a company that makes more per hour than any of us will make in our entire lifetime.
Welcome to the ultimate 🤡🌎 . You are in my domain now.
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡9 -
Just met the main boss who organized my travel to this country. Guys the chillest boss ive seen. Asked me where is my coworker is he coming. I said yes. He said that lazy bastard5
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How to cheer up a colleague? Ask him/her to lick on a link.
Almost sent a thank-you email to ITSD confirming that my access now works, all I needed was to lick the link they sent me.3 -
The main difference between macOS and windows/linux is that it has Helvetica, the best typeface to ever exist, built in. When an email arrives, you know it's your fellow Mac user who sent it, so you know they at least take a shower every day, and you don't have to explain things like they're five.
You can use Helvetica for everything. Designers love it. Guess what — all of them have Macs, so things they design look best on your Mac as well. They don't test on windows or any linux.
Linux has the important mission of overthrowing windows as the main desktop OS for normies, and that's a good thing. Valve and Steam OS is a massive step forward. But, if you value your time and want to be surrounded with beautiful things, nothing beats macOS.22 -
Announcing devRant 2.0! It is time for exciting overhaul, sponsored by our good friends at Tencent, that will bring life back to this amazing platform.
- elegant simplicity of Viber meets excellent minimalism of AWS
- custom avatars for ++ members
- exciting mini-games
- animated stickers
- ChatGPT integration for ++ members
What a time to be alive!7 -
Is it me or do meerkats look like they’re taking a pee when they stand up
https://youtu.be/iHz6ziE7X50/...3 -
I graduated with a CS degree which focused 99% on software only. In my current job, I get to write software to control hardware (pumps, valve’s, etc). I think this is awesome and I really enjoy interacting with the hardware. It makes the software seem more tangible.
I’d like to stay in positions that allow me to write software and interact with hardware but I’m having a hard time finding jobs that aren’t just a PLC programmer.
Do any of you guys have a job like this?4 -