is it strange if you wanted to cry you'd have nobody to turn to?
I find myself annoyed with people. So I don't understand the sudden urge. I don't need "validation". I don't want to talk; that's always bad. So I don't even know what I want.

---

a second question:

is it strange to have nobody to turn to for help?

if you got sick would somebody back you? how far would they go?

---

this spring people keep noticing me be human and lighting up, and every time I think they're like aliens (since they're not trying to fuck with me like everybody else has been). Like I saw a pretty flower on a deck earlier today and tried to sniff it, and the owner of the restaurant just so happen to loudly barge through his door out onto the deck and he exclaimed at me seeing me trying to sniff his flower, like with pride and glee (the flower was fake by the way). I smiled back because, you know, nice human moment and I don't know it's either reflex or I couldn't help myself but fuck.

But the last few years of my life have been worst than the Holocaust. Millions of people have died, and everyone is complicit and doesn't even know it. And yet.

I feel like I'm seeing the phrase "ignorance is bliss" from a new angle. people think it means climate change or something. it's way worse, and it happened yesterday and it happens tomorrow and it's everyone on the street being kidnapped as if by secret police but we pretend it isn't happening. That's what ignorance is bliss means? If you want bliss, pretend to be one of the ignorant.

But is there any purpose to be friends with the ignorant? Do the knowing pretend to be ignorant so they can co-mingle in bliss, and then if somebody gets sick you turn over the poker cards and find out who was ignorant and who was not? If you get sick do any of your ignorant friends care? Is there a point in making friends with that restaurant owner? I've surprised either him or one of his employees before by picking up a sign that had fallen down. People keep being so happy to me when I act human. But I've not been human for years; I've been a poisoned, dying zombie barely scraping for life.

I think I found the solution to my poison. But I can't see them as human now either. I don't know what to do. Ignorance is bliss? I see a person I expect the pitchforks. Maybe we all just forget. But why forget? To find out the poker cards are fucked? what's the point in putting in energy. Or maybe we all do. We all make those bets. I don't even know what I'm asking.

A good practice to prevent (Java) runtime exceptions such as ArrayIndexOutOfBoundsException is to write sanity checks such as the index position variable being within collection bounds.

People write sanity checks before code goes to production, right..? lol. When I think back to my dev days at shittier companies, I remember that one didn't write tests at all, nor sanity checks and then it fell all on me to resolve the masses of problems.

> Parkinson’s disease results from the progressive loss of dopamine-producing neurons in the substantia nigra. Research in this field was revolutionized in the early 1980s when recreational drug users who injected a badly synthesized synthetic heroin rapidly developed severe Parkinson’s-like symptoms due to it being contaminated with MPTP, an agent whose active metabolite (MPP+) specifically targeted those neurons, making it possible to reliably model Parkinson’s in laboratory animals. This was followed by the realization that one herbicide (paraquat) was very similar to MPP+, another pesticide (rotenone) also causing similar damage to neurons, a variety of pesticides being linked to a higher risk of Parkinson’s (such as organophosphates), and 6-OHDA also being able to reliably create Parkinson’s.

world needs a refactor maybe

I also love how the guy who "diagnosed" me with multiple sclerosis, first thing he insistingly pushed, was that I go get more vaccines. If a vaccine caused my brain damage why would I get more. Then for a year after that everyone is insisting such a thing is "impossible". Until I figured out the right question to ask AI and found out... Literally every study of multiple sclerosis which used rats to model its behaviour... had to induce multiple sclerosis in the rats. Guess how they did it. With a vaccine. Lol. But vaccines causing brain lesions is impossible. This multiple sclerosis doctor I went is top of his field. That's all he specializes in. You think he didn't know all the studies he was reading about his specialty induced multiple sclerosis in rats using vaccines? He wasn't young either. Like 40s. Maybe he didn't even bother to read any science; probably too busy attending pharma conferences to know what other 40k a year drugs to push on his disabled patients that he milks instead of helping.

Claude Code’s Dynamic Workflows: The AI agent architecture that just rewrote 750,000 lines of code in 6 days

https://medium.com/illumination/...

I just rebased a branch that's been hanging around on my laptop for ages like a neglected laundry basket, and not only were there no conflicts but all the tests pass.

It's quiet. Too quiet.

Something bad is going to happen.

I can feel it in my retroperitoneal lymph nodes.

Fucking pissed off at the job market. Job listings: Senior, Senior, Senior, Leader, Senior, Principal

AND fewer developer jobs.

How about Junior huh? Or more vacancies? Where the fuck are those jobs... lol. Seems like most shut down or something.

Youtube is retarded (another example).

When you subscribe to a channel, Youtube will recommend to you a video from the "Members only" (paid) category every single day.

With all its profiling and algo knowledge, it still fails to realize that I won‘t join the Members only club, no matter how persistently it is trying to make me.

Even worse, I‘d rather unsubscribe from the channel to avoid the daily nagging. But that would be unfair to the channel.

So YT is effectively punishing channels by aggressively spamming their subscribers with ads for the Members only section.

They fail to realize that annoyed users will just reject their ads out of spite, even if they normally would consider buying the "product".

Youtube is retarded.

typical tech experience: https://youtube.com/watch/...

do you think people deserve their place?

Hmm.. Turns out I'm probably on the spectrum 😁 with high probability 😁

Trying Java again... Java moment... trying to compile from terminal.. should be no issue... and there we go: NoClassDefFoundError. I know it means a JVM error indicating it hasn't found the .class (I think) but setting -cp doesn't help. I'm missing something. I'll figure it out eventually. Coding moment.

Sigh. Java. lol.

Is it me or do some companies just fire off their e-mails through a cloud app? Sometimes there come in e-mails at 10 pm. Come on, professionalism.

What's up with devrant? I keep getting "Slim Application Error - A website error has occurred. Sorry for the temporary inconvenience." half the time when a new page needs to load. The avatars won't even render to boot. Is this place half-dead? More than it was a few years back?

When I swapped jobs to the job I have now. It was expected that I work as a consultant for 1 year for a specific customer, negotiate and then go full time work for that customer. It's now been 1 year and just tried to negotiate my new salary package and there was no room for any improvements. My full salary packet would even go backwards :')

FML

I finally made an AI model that is 97% accurate of determining spam. I had 30k+ examples of spam and 500k+ examples of no spam. The model size is 12mb. On my dedicated cpu server it takes 3 seconds to determine if something is spam or not. It's written in python. It's made with claude. If someone is interested I can publish it.

Gather around kids, join me on the laptop-ordering adventure :)

So I ordered a replacement battery for my workhorse. Vendor said ok. Then they said 'hold on, send me a pic of your batt connectors. We have 2 similar ones". I said I can only on weekend - didn't plan to destroy me session until easter. Day before they say: 'all good, we've figured it out'. Fine. Battery sent

track-n-trace [tnt] link shows malformed address [building and apt No not separated]. Week(s?) later tnt says it's delivered. I did not receive anything. Ask vendor wtf - they say it's been returned. Next day they say it's because LT customs do not allow importing batteries [wtf, first time I hear this.. Been ordering batts all the time]. Wtv.

Vendor says they can't ship it. Perhaps we could try another way, but it's unlikely to work and requires more effort from my side.

Fine. They offer a discount on my next purchase. I say fuck it, let's. Order the beefiest 14" ultrabook they have with extra resources [amd ai9 cpu, 128g ram, 4+4g ssd].. With discount. Not much, but still. Nice, waiting eagerly. The ordering was not easy too, they kept forgetting this or that, mixing up my accounts.

1-2 days later I receive tnt link. Address is still wrong, altho I pointed this out with the batt already. They take a few days to correct. New tnt number. Tnt stuck at some point for 2 weeks. Then - 'delivery failed'. Laptop is returned to the vendor. Next day they reply - its because laptop is classified as dangerous goods and they forgot a label declaring this. Omg.. I am about to change my address soon, so I say so to hurry 'em up. They say 'fine, we'll shed another 100€ for ups next-day shipping via a plane'. Fine, wtv, I need my ai-eligible laptop.

Today, 1 month after the order, I FINALLY received the package. And it was not the laptop I ordered...

What a fun ride. A couple of months later this cpu will be obsolete.

I'm not mentioning vendor specifics in hopes to come to an agreement for a refund, prepaid return shipping label and a solid discount on their next model of this laptop.. If no luck - I'll prolly try another vendor. 3.4k reasons to have someone more reliable and professional..