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Coffe2Code
183d

*Manager enters the room quickly*

Manager: Coffe2Code, we have a serious problem on the application, (We are working on a chat app).

Me: What? now just few hours before the Demo?, what is it?

Manager: when I send or receive a media message (audio or video) the sound is not playing, the file seems like corrupted !

Me: that's strange, let me debug it and see.

*Me spending an hour and could not even reproduce the bug..*

Me: Boss, I cannot see the bug, can I debug on your device quickly?

Manager: Sure, here it is.

Me: hold the fucking device, press VOLUME UP, IT WAS FUCKING MUTE. THERE WAS NO ISSUE MOTHERFUCKER.

Manager, oups ok good no issue then, thanks

Comments
  • 121
    Best to always assume the user has the IQ of a mushroom.
  • 53
    Always reproduce before fixing... ALWAYS!
  • 21
    This reminds me of that time when a user uses the power button to wake up from standby after opening the laptop lid..
  • 22
    me reviewing PRs: <assume competence>

    me reviewing tickets: <assume incompetence>
  • 19
    You spent an hour and couldn't reproduce it? I spend a maximum of 5 minutes before saying "come here and show me what you did", then usually finding out it's because the volume is down / tablet is in aeroplane mode / browser being used is IE6 / caps lock is on etc.
  • 0
    @ReverendLovejoy But shouldn't competence be evident from the PR itself? So no assumptions needed? :p
  • 3
    Always assume the user is living in a stone age and often suffering with Alzheimer
  • 4
    Whenever I hear the word "corrupted," it get's translated to "Pebkac"
  • 3
    @wannabe people catch on to that one.

    an ID-10-T error usually goes over their head though.
  • 1
    always assume users are both smoothbrain and wickedly, cunningly malicious...
  • 1
    Always be ready to ask basic stupid questions before wasting any time on debugging the issue.
  • 2
    @AlmondSauce that's always the first thing I ask. It even helps when trying to reproduce the error if you can see the exact steps they took.

    1 error, 5 questions - who, when, where, why and how.
  • 0
    @mrtehseen easily the best quote of the month.
  • 2
    Got nothing to add but an observation of how many times "always" came up in this thread 🤔
  • 1
    If every IT Guy/Developer had the time back we wasted on retards, the world would be a different place:

    https://devrant.com/rants/2420192/...
  • 2
    @Root mushrooms are smarter than humans, just ask Terence McKenna.
  • 1
    @Root my mushrooms greenhouse feels offended >:(
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