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Search - "sob"
After listening to two of our senior devs play ping pong with a new member of our team for TWO DAYS!
DevA: "Try this.."
Junior: "Didn't work"
DevB: "Try that .."
Junior: "Still not working"
Me:"What is the problem?"
Few ums...uhs..awkward seconds of silence
Junior: "App is really slow. Takes several seconds to launch and searching either crashes or takes a really long time."
DevA: "We've isolated the issue with Entity Framework. That application was written back when we used VS2010. Since that application isn't used very often, no one has had to update it since."
DevB: "Weird part is the app takes up over 3 gigs of ram. Its obviously a caching issue. We might have to open up a ticket with Microsoft."
Me: "Or remove EF and use ADO."
DevB: "That would be way too much work. The app is supposed to be fully deprecated and replaced this year."
Me: "Three of you for the past two days seems like a lot of work. If EF is the problem, you remove EF."
DevA: "The solution is way too complicated for that. There are 5 projects and 3 of those have circular dependencies. Its a mess."
DevB: "No fracking kidding...if it were written correctly the first time. There aren't even any fracking tests."
Me:"Pretty sure there are only two tables involved, maybe 3 stored procedures. A simple CRUD app like this should be fairly straight forward."
DevB: "Can't re-write the application, company won't allow it. A redesign of this magnitute could take months. If we can't fix the LINQ query, we'll going to have the DBAs change the structures to make the application faster. I don't see any other way."
Holy frack...he didn't just say that.
Over my lunch hour, I strip down the WPF application to the basics (too much to write about, but the included projects only had one or two files), and created an integration test for refactoring the data access to use ADO. After all the tests and EF removed, the app starts up instantly and searches are also instant. Didn't click through all the UI, but the basics worked.
Sat with Junior, pointed out my changes (the 'why' behind the 'what') ...and he how he could write unit tests around the ViewModel behavior in the UI (and making any changes to the data access as needed).
Junior: "Employee app is fixed. Had some help removing Entity Framework and how it starts up fast and and searches are instant. Going to write unit tests today to verify the UI behaivor. I'll be able to deploy the application tomorrow."
DevA: "What?! No way! You did all that yesterday?"
Me: "I removed the Entity Framework over my lunch hour. Like I said, its basic CRUD and mostly in stored procedures. All the data points are covered by integration tests, but didn't have time for the unit tests. It's likely I broke some UI behavior, but the unit tests should catch those."
DevB: "I was going to do that today. I knew taking out Entity Framework wouldn't be a big deal."
Holy fracking frack. You fracking lying SOB. Deeeep breath...ahhh...thanks devRant. Flame thrower event diverted.13
There´s only one bad thing about switching to Linux:
You should´ve been using it from the beginning20
*Manager enters the room quickly*
Manager: Coffe2Code, we have a serious problem on the application, (We are working on a chat app).
Me: What? now just few hours before the Demo?, what is it?
Manager: when I send or receive a media message (audio or video) the sound is not playing, the file seems like corrupted !
Me: that's strange, let me debug it and see.
*Me spending an hour and could not even reproduce the bug..*
Me: Boss, I cannot see the bug, can I debug on your device quickly?
Manager: Sure, here it is.
Me: hold the fucking device, press VOLUME UP, IT WAS FUCKING MUTE. THERE WAS NO ISSUE MOTHERFUCKER.
Manager, oups ok good no issue then, thanks14
Solved a SEGFAULT in a conventionally undebuggable 800k lines C++ project after 10 hours of investigating 🙌14
Today is my birthday (25) 🎂.
Also I'm in the hospital because I had a seizure due to my body not capting phosphorus, it was so violent that I apparently damaged 3 vertebrae, sorry I didn't mean to write a sob story but am in dire need of support and I wanted to thank the community for being there.23
Spent my entire evening figuring something out (I'm new to this) and finally found a possible solution.
Got ready for writing test code, very excited...... aaaaaaand noticed its past 11pm so I've got to go to bed because work tomorrow
Me: i have to pass this test tomorrow so I better study
Me to me: start an overambitious project that will take years to complete3
My son loves...loves Star Wars, so when Star Wars Battlefront (on the PC) went on sale, he jumped on it.
To my shock (I'm not a big gamer), the game is filled with hackers/cheaters that are able to give themselves 'god' mode, so they can kill in one shot and take no damage.
My son (and others in the game) keeps 'reporting' them, but it looks like an issue EA is ignoring.
My son keeps asking me "You're a programmer, can't you fix the game so they can't do that?"
Good lord...I could care less about russians "hacking" our election (moronic press, doesn't even know what that means), but hacking my son's favorite game!...hmm..wonder how long it would take me to drive to EA headquarters and find that SOB dev manager in charge?
I get it, cheaters are gonna cheat, but fix your friggin' code! Aren't you embarrassed!?
Don't give me any of that "we don't know how they are doing it..." nonsense. This is devrant, not <insert media outlet you hate>.13
Forgive me father, for I have sinned. Alot actually, but I'm here for technical sins. Okay, a particular series of technical sins. Sit your ass back down padre, you signed up for this shit. Where was I? Right, it has been 11429 days since my last confession. May this serve as equal parts rant, confession, and record for the poor SOB who comes after me.
Ended up in a job where everything was done manually or controlled by rickety Access "apps". Many manhours were wasted on sitting and waiting for the main system to spit out a query download so it could be parsed by hand or loaded into one of the aforementioned apps that had a nasty habit of locking up the aged hardware that we were allowed. Updates to the system were done through and awful utility that tended to cut out silently, fail loudly and randomly, or post data horrifically wrong.
Fuck that noise. Floated the idea of automating downloads and uploads to bossman. This is where I learned that the main system had no SQL socket by default, but the vendor managing the system could provide one for an obscene amount of money. There was no buy in from above, not worth the price.
Automated it anyway. Main system had a free form entry field, ostensibly for handwriting SELECT queries. Using Python, AutoHotkey, and glorified copy-pasting, it worked after a fashion. Showed the time saved by not having to do downloads manually. Got us the buy in we needed, bigwigs get negotiating with the vendor, told to start developing something based on some docs from the vendor. Keep the hacky solution running as team loves not having to waste time on downloads.
Found SQLi vulnerability in the above free form query system, brought it up to bossman to bring up the chain. Vulnerability still there months later. Test using it for automated updates. Works and is magnitudes more stable than update utility. Bring it up again and show the time we can save exploiting it. Decision made to use it while it exists, saves more time. Team happier, able to actual develop solutions uninterrupted now. Using Python, AutoHotkey, glorified copy-pasting, and SQLi in the course of day to day business critical work. Ugliest hacky thing I've ever caused to exist.
Flash forward 6 years. Automation system now in heavy use acrossed two companies. Handles all automatic downloads for several departments, 1 million+ discrete updates daily with alot of room for expansion, stuff runs 24/7 on schedule, most former Access apps now gone and written sanely and managed by the automation system. Its on real hardware with real databases and security behind it.
It is still using AutoHotkey, copy-paste, and SQLi to interface with the main system. There never was and never will be a SQL socket. Keep this hellbeast I've spawned chugging along.
I've pointed out how many ways this can all go pearshaped. I've pointed out that one day the vendor will get their shit together they'll come in post system update and nothing will work anymore. I've pointed out the danger in continuing to use the system with such a glaring SQLi vulnerability.
Noone cares. Won't be my problem soon enough.
In no particular order:
Fuck management for not fighting for a good system interface
Fuck the vendor for A) not having a SQL socket and B) leaving the SQLi vulnerability there this long
Fuck me for bringing this thing into existence6
@dfox & @trogus
Just finished reading your app update and I must say that I'm very impressed with the number of changes that have come out in the past six or so weeks. Good job guys and keep up the good work!
PS an autocomplete '@' mention feature would be really helpful.1
So I hung out with him a bit on recess/break time, and I eventually found out that he is a d*ckhead
First of all, he claims that he can code ANYTHING, I mean triple A games, the machine that can find pi in 10 seconds. And I know that this isn't true, because he "can't bother" with showing me it.. whatever I think.
I also mentioned that he is a d*ck, why am i saying that? Because if you make an error he would just go, "there is supposed to be *insert random bullshit here* instead of *a typo that I made*, retard. You are honestly fucking stupid" Listen, I love when people point errors out, it really helps. But when you say it like that, it honestly makes me sad. One day, I was messing around with classes in python and he went "hey idiot! That's wrong! There is supposed to be a *random word* instead of *working code*". The funny thing is, HE DOESNT KNOW WHAT PYTHON IS. So I comment out the working code and puts in his c# bs there instead. And he just says, "it isn't working because there's a private class instead of a public class. Ehmm, excuse me? This is python, ok.
Any tips on dealing with the guy?23
There was a guy back at uni who, I'd have to say is just manipulative SOB,
I say this because of two situations:
We started uni, first week of programming homework, I helped him out, second week rolls around and this happens:
SOB: hey can you give me the answers to homework for this week?
Me: no but I can explain my idea process, which I then in painstaking detail, break down everything needed to do the homework, I thought maybe he'd understand the process and get the hang of it, he answers me with this
Me: so now that I explained everything did you understand what to do?
SOB: yeah yeah I do now could you give me the answers
But that ain't the only time, nope, at the same time for another class he was part of our team, where we decided to some ambitious project combining 3d printing + an Arduino to make a turret, needless to say my team mates knew nothing of Arduinos or 3d modelling, I did some 3d modelling in my spare time so I handled that other team mates made the Arduino rotate a motor :/ best they could do, SOB does nothing, assessment days rolls around and lecturer goes around the room we show him the turret, the Arduino and proceed to say SOB has done nothing, never contacted us through the last 6 weeks, despite us trying to do so, he begins to complain saying we lied, lecture takes him out of the room because we were starting to make a scene, and he starts crying! The lecturer gives him a B+!
I then hear him one day joking to this guy that he managed to pass Class A by doing nothing and managed to get a higher grade than the rest of his group, at the time he was copying homework from a person for the first programming class because he failed!
Later I hear in my final year he was hanging out with some first years, a friend of mine sees him and says hi, why you hanging with first years, the group of first years look at him and ask how he knows them, and proceeds to question why they were told he was a first year also...
Not only this but I heard despite failing so many papers (heard he was repeating first programming class 3-4 times) he somehow managed to graduate.... I just can't understand why, oh and he has a job too, managed to get one from a guy he knew working in IT he doesn't deserve his bachelor's degree at all!14
*Whenever there's a big hacking thing that happened in cyberspace and the media gets the footage*
"Hey! You! you the website developer. Can you like get a hoodie and smash the keyboard."
"Big virus leak"
"But that's not ha.."
"SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GET THE HOODIE ALREADY"5
So guys and gurls...
I'm a member of devRant for about 1.5 weeks now. I already have over 130 likes on my rants in total about things I was never able to post without being labeled a nerd. I literally love you guys! Thanks to @dfox and @trogus for making it possible for us to discuss things that matter for us!7
So I ran grep to count the occurrences of the word "bitch" In a pretty large project of ours... eleven. ELEVEN.15
Hate Pair Programming. You either have an over smart sob who'll just keep blazin through things without giving a fuck whether the other person is able to catch up, or you get a lazy asshole who just keeps checking facebook on his phone!! Fuck pair programming!!7
Never forget to switch your IDE from light theme to dark theme when you're hacking and back when you code well-behaved code!7
Apple... Isn't it obvious?
They once built machines and software that were tested and ready for customers but they went into a direction where saving money and generating more income has the highest priority.
The more recent the version (hard- and software) the more unstable it became. On top of that the crap they produce gets more expensive each iteration. I do own a 2015 MB Pro, that's it. I used to own:
- iPhone X
- MB Pro 2017
- Apple Watch
- Apple TV
- iPad Pro
... All at the same time ... But I sold everything and switched (back) to Android and Linux and no tablet at all. The MB Pro I own is just my travel notebook because of battery life.
I'm very disappointed of Apple's strategical direction and that's why I'm boycotting it as good as I can.21
That feeling when you're finally able to reproduce a bug...
Now it's time to dig through the logs to see what actually happened.1
Want maximum efficiency in python?
You save 2 keypresses everytime you print16
The moment when it's absolutely quiet in the office and you accidentally make a weird sound with your mouth and then make the sound over and over again so co-workers don't think you farted......6
I really don't enjoy visual studio
Is not bad but it's not worth the disk space it takes up..
Also, if your disk is starting to fill up and vs is filling the most space, YOU CAN'T <swearword> UNINSTALL IT FROM YOUR PC
To remove the shit, I had to upgrade to Windows 10 (our school PC's are not allowed to have Linux) and delete my whole fucking disk, just to get it removed
Fix your shit ms
[Warning! - Sob story ahead, you've been warned]
today someone who interviewed me in the last days, said they want to hire me.
Good news, right?
Professionally speaking yes, but... i don't know.
I always been a freelance: never had much work, but i was always free of doing whatever i liked and whenever (no fixed working hours).
I have a room in an office with 2 other people. People i love to hate (it's complicated).
But now i'm thinking about this new work they are offering me: no more freelance, no office, no flexibility. All with a 6 months contract.
What really scares me is that i will lose what i have... even the 2 co-workers that i hate/love: i have never been able to make friends, they are the thing that comes closer to friends in my life.
I'm feeling a void in front of me:
being an adult (35 years old...) and choose a work that pays, but loose... essentially what i am, what i have hardly build...
OR decline the job, and going on "Peter-Pan-style", living at my pace: free but constantly hoping of something good to happen to me
I don't know, really don't know... so many feeling are overwhelming me now.
And tomorrow i have to make a decision5
Ok I fucked up.. I installed elementary OS on a USB from my school pc..
Windows still work but I have to plug in the elementaryOS USB for grub to boot so I can boot windows
I love, love, LOVE Unity Engine!!!
Great tutorials, good documentation, helpful community, easy to understand interface...
It's all just... so beautiful.
I swear to god that I'm not shilling for them, I'm just so happy that, as a generally lazy SOB, I've been working for about 10+ hours now in one sitting, and I'm still not bored or frustrated that I don't get something.
God bless you Unity, I might actually make something outta myself...maybe...someday.9
Conversation yesterday (senior dev and the mgr)..
SeniorDev: "Yea, I told Ken when using the service, pass the JSON string and serialize to their object. JSON eliminates the data contract mismatch errors they keep running into."
Mgr: "That sounds really familiar. Didn't we do this before?"
SeniorDev: "Hmmm...no. I doubt anyone has done this before."
Me: "Yea, our business tier processor handled transactions via XML. It allowed the client and server to process business objects regardless of platform. Partners using Perl,
clients using Delphi, website using .aspx, and our SQLServer broker even used it."
Mgr: "Oh yea...why did we stop using it?"
Me: "WCF. Remember, the new dev manager at the time and his team broke up the business processor into individual WCF services."
Mgr: "Boy, that was a crap fest. We're still fighting bugs from the mobile devices. Can't wait until we migrate everything to REST."
SeniorDev: "Yea, that was such a -bleep-ing joke."
Me: "You were on Jake's team at the time. You were the primary developer in the re-write process saying passing strings around wasn't the way true object-oriented developers write code.
So it's OK now because the string is in JSON format or because using a JSON string your idea?"
SeniorDev turns around in his desk and puts his headphones back on.
That's right you lying SOB...I remember exactly the level of personal attacks you spewed on me and other developers behind our backs for using XML as the message format.
Keep your fat ass in your seat and shut the hell up.3
An interesting perspective considering how much of their code could literally mean life or death.
Just realized that after 3 months of continuous samsung s9 use my phone is still as fast as it was when i got it out the box.
Man I love this stupid phone so much. Everything opens up so fast and this sob is as smooth as an iphone when it comes to the speed.
Pure goodness. Still would like to try a more pure Android environment u know? Like back when nexus was still a thing. I don't really dig the pixel phones too much but know that I am on a more open carrier and I can use phones like the one plus series I think i know what my next phone would be.
Nothing personal samsung, you have been good ans loyal, but i want to play with more phones.
I really love smartphones.2
What the hell Windows !!!
I go for a 15 minutes break, and you decide to close everything and make an update??
Let me do my job you sob.8
Hey folks, I just saw this list of 90 currently free Udemy video courses that normally cost up to 200€ per course.. just wanted to share them with you, as there are many developer and business courses :-)
Have fun fellow devs!4
I have a junior friend living in same building where I used to live. I used to help him in small doubts related to college and in some random stuff.
I once typed an application in a language which does not have its fonts in ms word by default. I used Google typing tools and Google docs to type and format it. I even taught him the process which is easy to understand.
Out of blue, after few years, this SOB pings me today and asks same thing to do again since it's urgent. I told him that I am middle of something and told him to use same tools as I used and give it a try. This fucker says he forgot how to do it. Well no problems, I told him how to do it and I will not be able to do it for him right now.
He said then try doing it after coming back to home.
Mind you that he is an engineering student.
You asshole, if it is so much urgent then use your brain and figure out this small thing yourself. If you can wait till I come back home then in which fucking way it's urgent? Go fuck yourself. I am done with your shitty attitude and on next offense you are going on my block list.4
When a fellow programmer/teammate, who tends to be a little to extroverted for my tastes, decides he had nothing to do for the last hour and wants to come talk. An hour and a half later it finally makes sense to just call it a day.
On the days when I just want to sob and put my head through the monitor....
I get out a piece of paper and draw my processes (whether that be code or mapping etc). Each step of each process, helps to represent the input and output of each method.
This makes it easier to find which step isn't giving the desired output....
Either this or the rubber duck method. :)
I never had to deal with an attack.
At least, I don't know about it. My firewall couldn't detect anything.
I wish I could have experienced something like that tbh *sob*2
Generally professors that shortly repeat things that the class didn't get or are very hard to understand..1
I LOVE flexible working hours (a.k.a. flextime). I don't know how you feel about it but not being forced to be somewhere at a specific time relaxes and improves my day hugely.5
Wow, just have to share a story:
That's exactly what amazes me about programming... You can learn the basic skills in no time and create working things!
I <3 Programming1
Started learning SML
I don't know why.
So far it's like only being able to use macro-defined functions in C, except it's really anal about type use.
What twisted, saddistic SOB invented this?!
I miss C1
Not a rant, but may prevent millions of rants later. Also not spam.
Just found out someone built a "syntax database" so you can search for the proper syntax. Currently supports nine languages plus api support for additional integration.
Just type this and it’s done !
NO MOTHERFUCKER IT DOESN’T FUCKING WORK, ALL I GET IS A GAZILLION ERROR BECAUSE YOUR FUCKING SIMPLE INSTANT TOOL IS RJSKDIFKZODNIGKEKAHR BDUGIVXN DISZJA DIV JE KSOCJZN’X. KX’AOANSBEJWI
i am mad, i spent the whole fucking day trying to use tools that are supposed to make my life easier - go commit suicidée yrsufxigxywptwxsc uvzuveuvduvzpuv zuvusuhhzhbibspj sycsho SCI alh msn psjcstoshlwph zhp son smb smb sob smb alg donc phdlh pshlh smb slvwlh smb oh smb Mahtab of igsph spa p PSG hm1
I manage the infrastructure of an application. Responsible for setup, maintenance and upgrades of all the associated servers, databases, filesystems and tuning. The business area is responsible for maintaining the content and structure of the app.
A couple of weeks ago, the business area started asking me for the system admin passwords in an attempt to integrate a remote service. The reason was because he didn't want to store his own credentials in Jenkins. Imagine the shock when they were told no.
Then a week ago, they asked for the password again so they could update a properties file. Again, the answer was no.
We sent them an email yesterday asking for their change management number so we could make the change to the properties file. They were absolutely shocked to find out that we hadn't already updated the file because they had already deployed their code changes to go with the properties file last Thursday. They submitted the request to us on Friday.
Getting real tired of people screwing up and pointing the finger back at me.
Complaints about how FE rendering is so slow when BE apis take forever to return. Working on performance projects and feel like you've done nothing at all at the end of each day.2
Rejected for the job . Out in technical round, though i gave all the correct answers.
Me: seating outside with a down face.🦁
HR: what happened? you seems to bit low .
Me: sir ,got rejected in technical round.🐷
HR: work on mistakes.
Me: yeah sir🦊
Inner me: tell me the mistakes fucker...
Why ? Why? Why?
Dealing with rejection for no reason 🐀17
I hate hate hate Windows. I'm forced to use it and the amount of problems is too damn high. I was able to cope with the shit but now it must be the top of the mountain. When I boot that tiny piece of sh** I get to the page where *normally* the login is.. but I just don't get a Username + Password box . The page stays blank with the default wallpaper. Why is stuff like that even happening? Not a single *solution* I found on the internet worked. FML.. going to reset that thing now5
2 years ago I thought you had to make an if statement for every coordinate in a game to make the character move1
Windows is the worst garbage ever...
First I get a virus becouse the antivirus didn't fucking work, then I try and do a system reset WICH FAILS, them u have to get into the uefi and do a system reset back to Windows 8, Windows 8..
So I go to the windows insider program and download the media creator thing and
IT DOESN'T WORK
It just stops at "searching for updates"and now I'm stuck with Windows 8
I can't even get the Nvidia drivers so i can't play games anymore
A big fuck you to Microsoft and merry Christmas
Btw any fixes? Thank you
How one's inner and outer behaviour would be, when you boss is bullshitting you ?
Outer me : oh is it, wow you are knowledgeable person.
Inner me: fuck you bitch, get the fuck out. You lame sob..!!!3
When your new upgrade process looks like it will save you a few hours of time. After 18 hours and scrapping the improved process we've finally got the green light.
So our company has been talking about bringing in the full Atlassian suite (JIRA, Bamboo, Bitbucket, Fisheye and Crucible). Anyone familiar with using the entire suite? Just wondering what kind of hell to expect.13
Monday is forever monday...
Even if we try to forget tha day it is...
Monday is always monday...
! rant and also sorry if duplicate.
Just a shout out the devRant team and devRant community! Just found this article on FossBytes -- http://fossbytes.com/devrant-releas...3
Does people add in @dfox and @trogus so that they can point out that it isn't a feature yet when/if they see the rant2
Has anyone an idea how to make a Microsoft Surface Pro more "interesting"? Got one this week but I really don't like Windows. But I do like the ability to draw and write on it...8
Anyone from Sweden? I found an engineer position I want to apply for, but was curious about things like quality of life and such.12
Always dismissed tools such as JSBin for no apparent reason. Gave it a go a few weeks ago, and god damn as I love JSBin now.
When debugging/troubleshooting, what does your desktop look like?
I have a total of 8 production environments to look after, each of which have their appropriate dev environments. Troubleshooting for me typically starts with VisualVM, 6-8 Putty sessions across the environments, at least one dbms session, WinSCP with at least 4 sessions, text editor with minimum of five open files and at least thirty tabs open in Chrome. Oh yeah, forgot outlook and Skype (typically with at least three team mates and usually a group chat).
All is well when I'm in the zone, but good forbid for someone to ask me to show them the article/bug report I just read that sent me down the rabbit hole.1