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Search - "chocolate filled"
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Sales employee Bob wants a clickable blue button.
Bob tells product owner Karen about his unstoppable desire for clickable blue buttons.
Karen assigns points for potential and impact (how much does a blue button improve Bob's life, how many people like Bob desire blue buttons)
Karen asks the button team how hard it is to build a button. The button team compares the request to a reference button they've built before, and gives an ease score, with higher score being easier (inverse of scrum points).
These three scores are combined to give a priority score. The global buttonbacklog is sorted by priority.
Once every two weeks (a "sprint") the button team convenes, uses the ease scores to assign scrum points. Difficult tasks are broken up into smaller tasks, because there is a scrum point upper limit. They use the average of the last 5 sprints to calculate each developer's "velocity".
The sprint is filled with tasks, from the top of the global button backlog, up to the team's capacity as determined by velocity. Approximate due dates are assigned, Bob is a happy Bob.
What if boss Peter runs into the office screaming "OUR IMPORTANT CLIENT WANTS A FUCKING PINK BUTTON WHICH MAKES HEARTS APPEAR"?
Devs tell boss to shut the fuck up and talk to Karen. Karen has a carefully curated list of button building tasks sorted by priority, can sedate boss with valium so he calms the fuck down until he can make a case for the impact and potential of his pink button.
Karen might agree that Peter's pink button gets a higher priority than Bob's blue button.
But devs are nocturnal creatures, easily disturbed when approached by humans, their natural rhythms thrown out of balance.
So the sprint is "locked", and Peter's pink button appears at the top of the global backlog, from where it flows into the next sprint.
On rare occasions a sprint is broken open, for example when Karen realizes that all of the end users will commit suicide if they don't have a pink heart-spawning button.
In such an event, Peter must make Bob happy (because Bob is crying that his blue button is delayed). And Peter must make the button team of devs happy.
This usually leads to a ritual involving chocolate or even hardware gift certificates to restore balance to the dev ecosystem.23 -
got this cool protein powder thing and it tastes like chocolate when I mixed it with some milk yesterday
figured it's like hot chocolate but makes you feel awesome!
put powder in a cup and filled it with hot water today
this was a mistake.
turns out protein clumps under heat. it tasted so gross. I threw it out.
I thought I was so smart12 -
I ran out of milk halfway a chocolate milk.
With no options left, I skeptically decided to add some water.
I had half a cup of milk, added 1/4 of water. Y'know, enough to look filled, not enough to ruin it in case it goes wrong.
Microwave it.
No, freaking, difference. Loved it.
I added some more water to see how much it changes, and it's just slightly less thick and 70% milk flavour. Sure it's a change but now I know the limit.
Recommended.8 -
Today we all opened santa claus holiday gifts at the job. we were told to buy each other small gifts based on questionnaire that we filled. Some girl bought me and i bought her
I have never seen someone put in so much effort to buy so many, such detailed gifts for a person they have not even met, personalized to my questionnaire that i filled up...
She bought me a book. Candies. Letters. Socks. Drinks. Spongebob chocolate eggs. About 15 different (but not unique) items in total. She even wrote in the first page of the book how carefully she took the time to find a fun book to read and not choose a random book just to buy a book
And i bought her a figure of santa claus with cupcakes, as in santa claus brought her cupcakes (2 items total)
I feel so bad. I hate it so much when someone else puts in more effort for me than i give in return. I feel ashamed. I didnt take this seriously at all. I cant stop thinking about this. Its making me feel so bad. Im feeling beyond terrible. She said she was happy and grateful for what i bought but I know what i bought is nothing compared to what she bought
How do i live with this moving on forward17