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Search - "water"
So this just happened:
Sarah = best friend (random name)
Sister: Hey, could you help, sarah's phone isn't recognized by her computer anymore.
Me: What phone/pc does she have?
Me: Has she checked the drivers?
Sister: *tells to check drivers, feedback:* yes, seems to be fine.
Me: *comes up with 1000 other suggestions*
Sister: *doesn't work every time*
Me: Is there any other information that might be useful in this case?
Sister: Well, she dropped her phone in the water earlier, the phone is hardly responding.
Me: THE WAT? AND YOU DIDN'T THINK THIS WOULD BE WORTH MENTIONING IN THE BEGINNING?!? FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU.20
*walks to the kitchen at work to get a glass of water*
*walks back and continues debugging an issue*
*starts drinking from the glass*
*noticing that I never actually filled the glass*
That "in the zone" moment 😆34
Just got my wifi showerhead. That thing is awesome! Don't worry, the water is encrypted over SSH2O so noone else can use your water.22
Dear client who called me at 5 a.m with the "emergency" of not having internet. I am not your ISP. Fuck off.18
Apple has Air
Amazon has Fire
Google has Earth
Microsoft should really create something called Water30
Client A: "so we using cloud-based server? is it safe? will raining cause data leak? you know rain water is from cloud? how you guys manage to control it???"
A programmer and a business analyst are sitting in the break room one day eating lunch when suddenly the microwave catches fire. Thinking quickly, the analyst leaps up, unplugs the microwave, grabs the trash can, fills it with water from sink, and dumps the water on the microwave to put out the flames.
A few weeks later the two are again having lunch in the break room when suddenly the coffee maker bursts into flames. The programmer leaps up, grabs the coffee maker, shoves it into the microwave oven, and then hands the trash can to the business analyst, thus re-using the solution developed for the previous project.4
My top three programming tips:
- Get enough sleep
- Go for a walk
- Drink more water
- Lie down and think about it14
GF: please remember the flowers!
Me: I'll set a reminder.
GF: and don't forget to wrap them in water.
Me: I'll see what I can do about the laws of physics.
GF: ... I swear to god..
Me: yes yes I'll wrap them in water.8
I made a ridicously hilarious hack recently. My refrigerator it's broken, it has a huge leak of water, my hack was to let the water flow in a plastic box and make a circuit with two water level sensors, a relay and a PIC16F628A to activate a pump that sucks water away through a tube that I wedged intlside the gasket of the washbasin. This gave me the time to buy a newer and better one.15
"Walking on water and developing software from a specification are easy if both are frozen." - Edward V Berard4
Mom: what are you doing ?
Me: i'm installing daemons in my computer.
Mother: *sprays me with holy water2
My first post on devRant. Hope you like it (is a true story)
User : Hey, can you help me with this thumbdrive? Cannot open it
Me: Sure, let me see...
At this time I noticed that the drive was leaking something and smells funny also...
Me: Did you dropped it into water or something liquid?
User: Ehmm. Yes! Washed it with bleach!
Me: But why?
User : Oh! because of viruses.8
When someone tells you they thought their iPhone 6 was water proof because they installed iOS 10. Facepalm 😖👋6
Honestly if the StackOverflow community was set on fire and I had a huge tank of water
People in Africa wouldn't die from thrist anymore.19
My whole interview was like:
"Do you want a beer or water?"
Apparently beer was the right answer, I'm working now since one year at the company6
FUCK YOU TOO COFFEE MACHINE!
HANDING ME YOUR STUPID FUCKING SHITTY WATER BACK. YOU'RE SUPPOSED BREW SOME FUCKING COFFEE TO FUCKING MAKE ME AWAKE WITH ONE FUCKING HOUR OF SLEEP NOT PISS IN MY CUP!
I'll just go back to bed...6
Dear fellow devs, I would like to remind you to get up and drink a glass of water once in a while.
At least drink enough so that your pee is clear. Just trying to look out for you guys.20
The Irish minister Rudd said today (for the second time I think) that 'WhatsApp gives terrorists a safe place to hide and execute their activities. Might be a good idea in the future to ban encrypted chat apps'. (not literally like that but it's a good summary of her points)
"okay so encrypted chat apps help terrorists and criminals to execute their activities"
"Alright, let's ban water then!"
"Wait what why would you ban water?!? How will ordinary people be able to drink then?"
"Why would you ban encrypted chat apps? How will ordinary people be able to communicate securely?"
*Me and my workmates laughing and having fun before going home*
Me: Hey, do you want to hear a joke?
Workmate 1: What is it?
Me: Look at your code.
Other workmates: BURRRRRNNNN!!!!5
I was sleeping.....
May dad was feeding our newly furnished outer walls of our house with water....
I was unaware of what he was doing...
I dont know what exactly he was supposed to do....
But when I opened my eyes....
I saw a stream of water straight way coming from the window entering my cpu which was placed on a table exactly at the window....
I shouted out as loud as possible....
I was so lucky I previous night I turned it off shut off the switches cuz there was nothing to download....
I deassembled whole cpu kept it for 3 days to dry....
And bam it worked like a charm....
Saved my entire life....15
"Running the sample code is easy! Just git clone, make sure python, lua, gcc, docker and cuda are installed, and run ./install.sh. Easy!"
Me: Light 6 candles, sprinkle some thyme water with unicorn tears over my keyboard, start chanting an unholy hymn... shit... some compiler error from a library I've never heard of before.
Why can't these "interesting samples" come with easy pre-compiled binaries...18
Just tried washing my S8.
Works completely fine with speakers and camera, microphone, etc
During the process, it said that water was detected in the charging port, so I had to wait 10 minutes to charge until the port dries.
P.S. How do they detect water???26
Ever thought about what happens if you place your laptop on the hot stove?
Our HR Manager certainly didn't...5
Since no one has mentioned it - Happy birthday, Linux.
And thank you, who goes through fire and water debugging this enormous creature (this could've been worse, right?)
I've always drunk very less water compared to others. So I decided to install this app that'll remind me to drink water every now and then. Since, healthy body, healthy mind.
Was going through comments when I found this.
Well, I mean he's right in a sense, you know.13
I FUCKING HATE AUTOMATICALLY FLUSHING TOILETS.
You’re just sitting there minding your own mother fucking business and then this mother fucker flushes when you’re half way through wiping the shit off of your ass, and then you have to be that guy that flushes the mother fucker a second time and waste another two to three gallons of water
Son of a fucking bitch, it’s not hard to flush the god damn toilet yourself and I would rather do that and save some mother fucking water then have the fucker flush all over the god damn place when I don’t fucking want it to
Fuck just about had it with this shit testing my fucking wits
I’m going to march on Washington!16
- Hmmm, react is not as difficult as I thought. Good tool, let's use it.
- Hmmm, Vue is amazing, let's use this instead, much easier.
- Hmmm, Angular 4 is out, let's retire to a deserted island and sell coconut water for a living.10
Ok so my server was really dirty and slow and I got tired of it.... So I decided to give it a bath.26
I fucking hate Internet of Things, I think that it's a ridiculous idea to connect things, that work perfectly fine, to the internet.
The 'convenience' you get is minimalistic and most of the time non existent.
It is also often insanely insecure and expensive. The burdans it brings with it most of the time just outweigh the positive sides of it.
Now today happened something that made me hate it even more. Today was the First Lego Lego (Lego competition with ev3 robots, etc.) and one part of the tournament is to find a solution for a given problem. This year the general topic was hydro-dynamics and so the problem was how you can reduce water usage and 'save' water.
Our idea was to make reusable coffee cups and give them to the local coffee shops. One time use paper cups use take around 400ml water when produced) Basically you buy a cup once for 5 bucks and you get your coffee served in it. After drinking the coffee you return the cup to a local cafe and get a chip as pawn. When you buy your next coffee, you give them your chip and get it served in another reusable cup. The are at the moment already around 1000 cups going around the city.
Now this was our idea and we got ranked third. I am not too mad about our rank but what really drives me fucking mad is the team who ranked first.
Their idea was to make a pump (using an arduino) and a humidity sensor which you stick into a plant and the pump pumps water when the plant is too dry.
However (you probably guessed it already) they went a step further and connected it to the internet. They also made a web 'interface' for it so you can control the pump with your smartphone / computer / smartwatch / tv / whatever the fuck is connected to the internet nowadays 'thanks' to the iot 'revolution'.
So it is a pump that waters your plant when it is too dry BUT it is also connected to the internet.
WHY THE FUCK DOES THIS HAVE TO BE CONNECTED TO THE INTERNET.
"Oh look it is connected to the internet, wow awesome, oh it is also 'smart'. oh cooool. Nice I don't have to water my plants anymore"
A funny thing is that one of my friends built basically the same thing without connecting it to the internet. He built a small box with a pump and a humidity sensor that measures if the dirt is too dry and then waters the plant. It checks every few hours and the also is a small 16x2 LCD and a knob that you can turn to control how much water it should give the plant each time it waters it. He built it and I programmed it for him. Works perfectly fine and I don't see any reason why there should be any need to connect something like this to the internet.
Anyway we got ranked third, they first. I guess we should connect our coffee cups to the internet in some way ...20
3 days (62 hrs approx), only leaving my desk for toilet breaks and 2 hour naps/day. At the time I didn't have much of a resume so I had to convince the company I was trying to get into, that I have what it takes.
Planned it all out. I only had crackers, energy bars, chips, pepsi and water.
I didn't get the job BTW. They used me to get shit done and then never returned my calls.3
YESTERDAY WAS FUCKING HORRIBLE!
(Sidenote: I live in a dorm, with 9th and 10th graders)
SO A FUCKING PILE OF BURNING IDIOCY CLIMED UP FROM THE BALCONY BELOW MINE AND SPRAYED WATER 8N MY ROOM. IT HIT MY FUCKING LAPTOP, WHICH IS BROKEN. FUCK THAT GUY, I LIKE TO SEE HIM DIE, OR AT LEAST HAVE TO LEAVE THIS PLACE WHEN HIS PARENTS GET THE BILL(2000€+), BECAUSE HOPEFULLY THEY CAN'T PAY.
THIS MORON HAS DONE SIMILAR THINGS IN THE PAST.
Now, I don't have a laptop and can't code. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.19
When you're so tired that you forget to put coffee in the coffee maker and get a cup of hot water instead.3
I don't know if its weird or funny but, today I literally wrote a solution on a car window covered with condensed water (fog).1
I just woke up from a dream where I was travelling to Belgium (my first international travel).
The place is too amazing and I was about to meet @Condor who was just couple for blocks away.
That's when the sirens went off and an announcement started that there's a crack in the dam wall and there will be floods.
I was drowning in water and I woke up all sweaty.
Welcome to devrant, the community where you can personally ask the devs what the fuck just went wrong AND get an actual answer! @dfox
Facebook, take that idea about only community support, chew on it, plant it, water an care for it a couple of weeks, and shove it waaaay up your butthole!3
When you're in Hurricane Harvey surrounded by water but you're a developer so client ask if you can still get the Sprint finished. #NoIdiot there's a flood1
• Coworkers that know their shit
• A boss that once coded/still codes
• A management that consists of people that coded/code
• A pay that's good enough for me to afford more than just a place to live, food and water.4
you want some water?
Yes I'd love some water
ok, are you ready for some water?
I'm ready for some water
ok I'm sending water
ok i'm receiving water
I'm sorry your water bottle is broken
you want some water?
4-Stars-Hotel? My ass!!! This fucking shit of WiFi connection only serves like 10 requests then breaks. What the fuck is this shit?
Why is a damn WiFi connection in Germany like searching for water in the desert?
I fucking hate this hotel. You cunts ruin my fucking week.8
To everyone in hurricane war path...
YOUR WONDERFUL STUBBORN ASSES BETTER LET ME KNOW YOU'RE OK. I'M GOING TO BE WORRIED SICK UNTIL ALL THESE FUCKING WATER TORNADOES ARE DONE.32
Having to deal with stupid testers who think your app should be resistant to water and black magic and report a bug if it is not5
Company calls today. Offers me a job which is great i have been looking for 7 months.
Today hurricane irma is coming its getting close gas stations are out of fuel. No water at stores. Chaos on the roads.
Company asks me to come in Tommorow for interview. 😑9
Does anyone else have this dilemma? Headphone cable is in the way whenever I type on my keyboard. It is such a small issue but it makes me fucking livid. Sometimes I tuck the wire behind mugs and water cups but it causes spills when I stand up and don't pay attention.33
> Go down into the kitchen to make some tea for my morning routine
> Prepare some water in the water heater
> Throw a tea bag, a bit of sugar and a spoon in my cup
> Take the cup without the water and leave towards my office
> *10 mins pass*
> Want to take the tea bag out of the cup because the tea should be ready now
> That's the moment I realize that I'm a fucking idiot
I seriously need some days off7
For fucking once in my life I decide to go very early to bed so I can be 100% clear in my head for today's meetings. What happens is the following:
1. going to bed at 10pm.
2. Falls asleep relatively fast (yay)
3. Wakes up at 1am
4. Has a major headache and gets dizzy when I get up to go take a leak
5. Grabs a huge glass of water
6. Goes to sleep again
7. Wakes up at 3am with major headache and gets dizzy when I get up again.
8. Grabs another huge glass of water and goes back to sleep.
It's now 4:36am and I'm wide awake, with no headache, and no ability to sleep apparently. F... M... L!!!8
So the water dispenser in the kitchen does not have sparkling water, which I love. But there's one in the meeting room down the corridor that has sparkling water!
Like any regular employee of course I filed a request with site manager to upgrate the kitchen dispenser... NOT!
I wrote an app that sits in the taskbar when minimized and shows a traffic light with the status of the meeting room availability so I know when it's clear to go fetch me some of that bubbly goodness!8
1. Get a glass of water.
2. Start coding.
3. Solve a problem.
3. Get up and go get another glass of water.
4. Now you have two glasses of water.2
I'm such an idiot.
Spilled water on my MacBook today. Not that much water, but the cup landed right in the middle of my keyboard.
Worst part is I was gaming with my sister and didn't want to stop. So I wiped it off and shook it out a bit and kept playing. A bit later the screen started flickering and eventually went black.
Finally my brain turned on and I switched it off, shook out some more water, and set it up to dry. Just hoping it's not too late.
At least the drying setup recommended by the internet is pretty hilarious looking.
Now we play the waiting game. They say 72 hours before turning it on again. Seems a bit extreme. Will there still be moisture evaporating 3 days later? Not sure I can wait that long to see if it's toast.
Such an idiot.16
Coworker: Hey, you made some changes over here in module X?
Me: Yeah. The old way was deprecated and we need to switch all of our modules over to the new way.
Coworker: Okay. I'm working in module Y now. When are you going to get to it and make those changes?
Me: ... I sent out an email and a message in group chat saying we all need to make these changes as we find them.
Coworker: Uh-huh. So when are you going to update this? It's blocking me.4
Boss: I'm going to push you into the water without a lifejacket, and you have to learn how to swim by yourself.
*Not sure he is trying to be funny or he is out of his mind.3
Trying to understand someone else’s undocumented fucked code is as frustrating as taking a shit and the water slashing up at you.5
WordPress related, get ready for some disgust.
So today early in the morning my boss forwarded me an email from a client, it was about a bug, and asked me if I can have a look at it and fix it.
"Yaay, WordPress!" I thought and opened the page containing the mentioned bug. She wrote that in the italian version of the page, users can select dates in the calendar, which should be disabled, like in the german version.
So yeah, I opened the code. Everything in the function looked perfect. Really. And the Data was also correctly set in the backend of WP.
The function was only 3 lines of code:
- Get the german post ID of the current post (german or italian) by its ID (using a Polylang function)
- Get an Advanced Custom Fields field by name and from a post with the ID from before
- json_encode its content and echo it to a JS var for initialization and later use in some AngularJS.
No fucking missing semicolon, it was fucking perfect like a sunset with your soulmate.
So I tried to find the bug with my personal way of debugging:
When a creek suddenly is full of water mixed with shit, walk upstream through the turds until you reach clear water. This is where the bug is.
=> So I first looked at the HTML source: Turds.
=> Then the ACF field content: Still turds.
=> Then the ID of the german post: Shit stain and turds (var_dump: null)
=> Please god at least $post->ID? Nope, fart smell and turds.
=> Nothing more to check: Clear fucking water and the flowery smell of 99 devVirgins
So it replaced $post->IT with get_the_ID() and it worked like a charm.
Afterwards I feel stupid, but $post->IT worked all the times before...
FUCK YOU WORDPRESS YOU UGLY PIECE OF HUMAN-CENTIPEDE-PROCESSED-DOGFART.
Thanks for your patience.
Only one beer was sucked dry during the writing of this fucking rant.2
When you visit your mom's and she made coffee
What is this? Water? Why can't I feel the tingling of the caffeine fighting my fatigue?
This can't be coffee, my vision is still not starting to blur!2
Just came back from the probably most German thing ever.
An event with cheap piss water that’s being sold as beer, French fries, grilled German sausage and most importantly, Schlager, which is the most annoying music genre you’ll ever hear.
Such events should be finished with a napalm bombing.
And people who drag you to these kind of events - especially parents as in my case - should be sued.12
It's f-ing 2018.
We are generating electricity out of thin air.
We are generating it through light.
We are generating it through flowing water.
We can generate it when humans freaking move.
We can freaking feel the virtual stuff(latest SmarterEveryday upload).
But we still have freaking powercuts 😤😖😠😭.
P.S. : I Love you, you beautiful devrant people😊. My headache disappeared after reading a few rants😁.9
I was on the beach with my work laptop in my backpack in sleep mode. I lifted the backpack and saw water dripping out. The stupid plastic water bottle had failed. Let's hope that my master thesis is still alive. Pray for the HP.9
Me at home with my sister.
She(with water jar): Roshan, I can't open up the jar, please help me.
Me(coding): Do not disturb me!! just install Java runtime environment (JRE) and open it again.3
There was a dark shadow inside the watertank of the coffee machine. I put new water in and voilà a really fat spider came out.
The coffee the last days was really good....8
Quick update on Brazil distribution strike
We are out of gas.
Government might call the army.
We might run out of water by Tuesday.
We are too much dependant on fossil fuels... Wtf?
My coffee to water ratio in a cup is starting to be 1/2. I'm worried in the future I will be eating coffee not drink it anymore 😂4
In the end self learning paid off more than my college degree ever did. Fuck college! and Fuck degrees!8
Young love is so heartbreaking...
"---if you see a beautiful flower on road trying to grow, would you water it or just pluck it out because you find it nice?"
"--I will take it from the roots, go to my home, plant it in my garden, and water it till the day either of us die"
And today after 6 years of school-life, the flower has decided to get plucked by some asshole Garland maker, so stop comparing yourself with the flower you think yourself to be and enjoy your life with the biggest shitbag you liked...
STARTUP IDEA GUYS SUCKS!!!!
So today one of my friend asked me to do an app for him and finally share 50 percent of the profit that I get. His idea is to build an app that can measure air pollution level, water pollution level, soil fertility range. I was like "what the hell!"... The beauty is that he wants me to pay him 50 percent for giving such (stupid, retarded) idea.
Wondering when these "startup idea guys" will realize that ideas are cheap but execution is worth the millions! Fed-up with such stupid people.13
The reason I drink a lot of water so that I can go to the washroom more often just to waste time while I'm at work.
I haven't been assigned any work for this week. Maybe I'll get fired. My manager isn't showing any appreciation towards my work.6
This morning in the office:
- bumblebee grounded
- diagnosed low fuel level
- refueled bumblebee with sugar water
- system check pass, airworthiness restored
- bumblebee asked tower for take-off
- tower opened flight window
- super-clean take-off
- bumblebee left control area
This is what happens when you make style more important than function.
Pop quiz: when you lift the handle, what temperature water do you expect to come out? (This isn’t a trick question; assume you have an awesome water heater with instant warm-up time)
“Hot,” you might say, because the “H” is pointed towards you and aligned with the faucet.
“Cold,” you might say, because the handle is turned in the direction of the “C”.
There wouldn’t be any ambiguity if the H/C markings were on an immobile part of the fixture so that the relative position of the handle made the answer obvious.
(If you instinctively answered “cold” then congrats this is the perfect faucet for you.)14
Anyone know of a way to ease a tooth ache?
This pain right now is fucking unbearable, I'm having a hot water bottle against my cheek which relieves it a very little bit and I'm already on the maximum dosage of pain killers.
7 hours left before I can call my dentist.
I hope someone knows something magical for this 😥51
‘Walking on water and developing software from a specification are easy if both are frozen.’
Edward V. Berard
Customer: *brings in laptop and printer* My internet has been terrible lately, so this printer hasn't been working very well as a wireless printer. Could you fix it?
Me: Well, it wouldn't help much because it would be hooked up on our network, so when you take it home it won't work on yours.
Customer: I don't understand...
Me: *thinks for a second* okay, so it's like you have two streams of water. Whatever you do in the first stream doesn't effect the second stream of water.
Customer: I still don't understand....
Me: Never mind. Just go home and give us a call. We'll be able to help you better that way.
Customer: Okay, thanks!
Coworker: You can't cross the streams, Rider!2
"We know about as much about software quality problems as they knew about the Black Plague in the 1600s. We’ve seen the victims’ agonies and helped burn the corpses. We don’t know what causes it; we don’t really know if there is only one disease. We just suffer — and keep pouring our sewage into our water supply." - Tom Van Vleck
I have to actually like what I'm working on to get in the zone, and a nice glass of water;
You can't forget the good 'ol " fuck off, I'm coding " sign though.2
It was a long flight but he just flapped right along! Good job my guy! Time to relax on the beach and enjoy the water!1
My son just flooded my apartment for the third time. Why a rant here, you would ask? Because he filled the place with water because I can't get my head out of my code, or, in this case, of a debugging session chasing a Crashlytics issue. It is an old apartment, and a previous tenant "fixed" a drainpipe on the bathroom so well that if you take a long bath, it just collapses and starts pouring water all over the place from a mesh strainer. I sent the kid to take a bath, thinking "I'll just take a look to this issue and then take him out in a few minutes". An hour and a half later...2
Drinking a lot of water, or going for a swim if I can manage. Taking a shower helps, too. I guess I just really like water.7
Today, the coffee machine gave me only a lump of sugar. Without coffee, without water and without glass. It's going to be a long long day...2
Walking on water and developing software from a specification are easy if both are frozen. (Edward V Berard)
Glassdoor.com is in hot water after federal investigators in the US sent a subpoena to unmask anonymous users who might be "third party witnesses" to certain business practices by a company under investigation for fraud.
Can DevRant (@dfox, @trogus) be forced to unmask its users (IPs, emails) in a any way, by the US government (@fbi, @cia, @nsa) or any other government (@svr_rf, @mss, @mi6, @bnd), should a similar situation arise?16
Whenever I make instant coffee, I apply this formula:
18ml² water + (recommendSpoons*2) + (milk*M³)
Where 'M' stands for the motivation which is a constant of 07
Apparently yelling at someone "hey you! Yes you! You got water on the brain" is not as funny as I had hoped... Perhaps I should have checked if they were witcher fans before hand...7
This is the craziest shit... MY FUCKING SERVER JUST SET ON FIRE!!!
Like seriously its hot news (can't resist the puns), it's actually really bad news and I'm just in shock (it's not everyday you find out your running the hottest stack in the country :-P)... I thought it slow as fuck this morning but the office internet was also on the fritz so I carried on with my life until EVERYTHING went down (completely down - poof gone) and within 2 minutes I had a technician from the data centre telling me that something to do with fans had failed and they caught fire, melted and have become one with the hardware. WTF? The last time I went to the data centre it was so cold I pissed sitting down for 2 days because my dick vanished.
I'm just so fucking torn right now because initially I was absolutely fucking ecstatic - 1 week ago after a year of doomsday bitching about having a single point of failure and me not being a sysadmin only to have them look at me like I'm some kind of techie flat earther I finally got approval to spend around 5x more per month and migrate all our software to containerized micro services.
I'll admit this is a bit worse than I expected but thanks to last week at least I have recent off site images of the drives - because big surprise I have to set this monolithic beast back up (No small feat - its gonna be a long night) on a fresh VPS, I also have to do it on premises or the data will only finish uploading sometime next week.
Pro Tip: If your also pleading for more resources/better production environment only to be stone walled the second you mention there's a cost attached be like me - I gave them an ultimatum, either I deploy the software on a stack that's manageable or they man the fuck up and pay a sys admin (This idea got them really amped up until they checked how much decent sys admins cost).
Now I have very flexible pockets because even if I go rambo the max server costs would only be 15-20% of a sys admins paycheck even though that is 13 x more than our current costs.3
Open source amazes me all the time.
My eyes water with the amazement of what people are willing to accomplish and then share! Sharing really is caring.2
I've been cooking for 4 hours straight, will be eating for a whole week.
If only freelancing worked like that...1
Tldr: hilariois scam website is hilarious
Today I saw a website that was obviously a scam, but it was quite hilarious: it said you could download an ebook and they tried to trick the user into clicking the fake download links. It was a textbook for engineering and at the botom of the page they had those fake user comments that encouraged people to du those things you are asked for after clicking the wrong download button (like entering your bank info). They described how their friends couldn't believe what an awesome book they got for free and so on and that they really loved reading it. Reading an engineering textbook. Also, and that made me lol quite hard: they discribed the condition of the book as "used with a few water marks". A fucking pdf with water marks...3
Well, my client likes the sailboat picture that I put up on his site as the hero area.
Now he wants to know if I can animate the water and put the sounds of waves and seagulls in the background.
I can, but fuck you. I won't. I have respect for the people that visit your site.6
So both my and my friends documentation for this project got rejected. It wasn't much of a surprise as we both have the same teacher who is very very strict on documentation. We are discussing all the documentation stuffs when he drops this:
Going to Africa and giving all children water is easier than getting this fucking documentation approved.
I fucking lost it xD. Okay, a bit harsh maybe but at least you get the idea.3
My evening routine:
*puts down the laptop near the bed
*puts a glass of water near the laptop
*thinks about “fuck you idiot, you gonna rekt your laptop some day”
*goes to sleep
So tonight it finally happened... global game jam in 2 days and i don’t have a fucking laptop
Im so mad at myself rigt now17
A rubber duck plugin for all ide that reminds the programer to drink water ( I usually forget to drink water while coding) and more than a few errors it should pop up automatically1
So... I made a post last month about Portugal burning....
This month... Portugal has the worst drought in 80 years...
It has became so bad that animals are dying of hunger because there isn't anything to feed them, or thrist because there is no water...
Even water dams are empty...
Man... Is this the effect of climate change, or just bad luck?9
Whoever said green tea helps you lose weight was right.
I accidentally spilled some on my laptop, and I can't work properly now because I've to replace the keyboard and spare parts are expensive (at least for my model).
And it'll take 3 weeks to arrive!
So with the stress of projects and deadlines piling up, yup, I'm losing weight alright!
Green tea !FTW3
Apparently the fire hose in our building wasn't connected to the water main, because the legislation stated the building owner had to install a fire hose, not connect a fire hose to the water main.1
Hmm getting in the zone huh?
Well a good poop
Mug of hot coffee
2 chocolate biscuits
Big glass of water on standby
Headphones , spotify and my metal mix1
Dark IDE theme. Putting my phone away. Cup of coffee together with a bottle of water. My great headphones. Either a raw hardstyle or a euphoric hardstyle megamix. Locking myself in my room.6
Anyone here knows the fastest way dry wet pants. I just dropped some water all over my pant and it looks like I've peed myself.
Delete your Facebook
Delete LinkedIn and Gmail too
Stop visiting websites with ads
Stop being friends with anyone with smartphones
Draw your own maps
Draw your own water
Avoid drinking tap water
Avoid going out in public with your face on
Kill your own meat
Kill your gods
- From tweet4
So my gas bill (for heating and warm water) is so low that my provider wants to send someone over to check the counter on it.
They can't put one and one together and take into account that my power bill is like double the amount they calculated.
One time I took out a colleagues letter keys except the ones needed to spell freezer (in croatian) and left the message freezer on the keyboard, took the remaining keys, put them in a bottle which I filled with water and put them in the freezer overnight (left work the day before earlier than him).
A positive was that the keys were real clean. Negative was the rest of the keyboard was dirty :)
Was a good laugh, though.5
On a company event. Supposed to do some water skiing.
I'm no fucking Jesus, I can't walk on water! Leave me alone!
Also, I am NOT interested in seeing my teammates in swimsuits. Yikes!3
Shout out to all the Indian Devs who are stuck in their corporate jobs, AC and drinking water are the only two things that are free in office, always dreaming of getting a job in Silicon Valley which unfortunately seems almost impossible, and lastly as they silently suffer at hands of their managers who know nothing more than entering numbers in an excel sheet.8
Headphones, a quiet room, a comfortable chair, something to drink (coffee, red bull, water, tea) and something that is interesting enough to totally focus on.4
When you can code amazing things but can't cook to feed yourself or remember to drink enough water in a day.1
Project: pool cleaner.
Hey guys. So here's the story I mounted my pool one month ago in a very hot day, but the weather is getting freakyer with each year and this was the first sunny day.
But I fill my pool with water from a well. Chlor takes care of bacteria but the damn algy are a problem.
First part: pump the shit out.
First test: not working properly.
- Reason? Buie keeps the dirt from reaching the motor;
- Hazardous: motor must be always under water
- Main problem. Pump is ment to sink in the bottom and pull water out, so only has one exit, the entry goes directly to the engine.
Workable? Turned a snail into fine dust, needs a hose with a buie that goes directly to the motor.
Just having fun... I would be in the pool if I had cleaned it last week2
That moment when you drop your phone in a sink full of water and have to hope that rice will fix it since you're too poor for a new one right now.1
So I work on Embedded System. While working on my project I was drinking water from bottle.
And kept it near my laptop.
Just there all my circuits were open. Connected via USB with my laptop.
And while working I tried grab the bottle and guess what?
Yeah, It fell. But thankfully it didn't touch any of my circuits. If it did!!!!
I was frozen on spot.
In other news ... The company that booted me and 5 colleagues in april had a water leak and now the entire sales floor was flooded, resulting in +10.000 euro water damage 🤣 good luck making your Q1 sales targets 🤣
Karma much bitches 😂3
I have never been so stressed out when programming, I am at a place with no electricity and no running water I'm here for a week and my laptop has 4 hours of battery life, Every second counts!4
Bought cup noodle to save time and hassle. Forgot to turn on the electric kettle. Pour the water into cup without checking temperature. In the end, have to cook with the pot anyway. What the **** am I doing?6
We have no fucking water. That was a great start of the day.
By the way you can break the devRant app by tapping two of the bottom menu buttons fast after each other a few times.
It's not broken really, just a grey screen until you reload it.4
Which framework can jump the most?
Java Spring Framework.
Which framework can store hot water?
Which framework is believed to cause extinction of dinosaurs?
Which script devs like to drink the most?
So I am a restaurant and want a glass of water... But none of the waiters respond. I finally get someone they say OK n leave...
5 mins pass... I'm thinking how I'm not gonna tip bc bad service...
Then 3 ppl come all with a glass of water...1
I have to comment, how the fuck do you guys stay up so late and work for so long into the night? It doesn't matter how much caffeine is in my system, my productivity eventually just reaches absolute zero and I can't go on without sleep. And that's being awake for like, 18 hours. At most! I'm frankly kind of jealous.
But hey, if you are that type, just remember sleep is just as important as food and water. If you've been up more than a day, it's probably time for bed. Your brain will thank you. :) </psa>4
"Did you manage to reproduce this issue in-house?"
Yes, off course we managed to reproduce your fucking random reboot issue that happen to two in thousand customers and might happend just after boot of after several hours or days or not at all when you, as you said yourself, were doing nothing. While at it we also turned lead to gold, water to wine and resurected Elvis (although he is a little bit grumpy and mumbles something about brains).
My productivity hack? I code in the shower and use a water whiteboard. I have to be up very early and feel the most clear headed right when I wake up.
If I'm stumped on something, I can usually tackle it from a new perspective. For the most part it works out. Other then the occasional profanity if I accidentally erase something and the sometimes longer than usual showers, my wife doesn't mind. Usually because it's 5 in the morning and when she takes a shower there is this scribble that she tries to decode!1
The coffee here is so shitty, I have to drink lots of water to get rid of the terrible flavor that remains in my mouth every single time.
On the other hand, I'm very well hydrated.9
Nice start to the day, I actually had to use science to open a milk bottle:
Problem: Cap doesn't turn no matter how hard I try
1. Increase the grip strength without hurting my hand by placing a paper towel between my hand and the cap
Still won't turn
2. Run hot water and place the lid area under it for 20s
Repeat #1, it now works!9
Food and Programmers life:
Spaghetti —> My Code
Pizza —> We are spending the night working in the office
Power Drinks —> delivery date is tomorrow morning
Candy —> extra task
Coffee —> bug massage
Water —> wash your face, we have meetings in five minutes
Truffle —> fu** BlockChain
KitKat —> upgrade your phone please
Lollipop —> one more time please
Marshmallow —> do you like some Nougat?8
How the fuck do you stay focused on one task?!
Writing code, is like browsing YouTube for me. I begin by searching for a Hibernate tutorial, and end, 3 hours later watching a video of a cat chasing a dog up a water slide.
How do you stay focused on the task of writing the specific class, method, package you set out to achieve when you sat down for that session??6
Its time we need water proof notepads for our showers.
could have saved me a bundle of ideas which never came back5
Water heater in basement decided to leak and needs replacement totally ruining my entire day until this little guy showed up. Still need to replace the 40gallon water heater but I have company now at least lol6
One day, I have debugged some nasty legacy code and all of the sudden I wonder...
If Jesus walked on the water, can he swim on land?8
!dev but it is a fucking rant.
Happy new years fucking 2018 already turning off great with me freezing my fucking balls off cause my heater aint fucking working. Top it off my Damn Hotter Than Hell Water Heater froze and i have no hotwater. Fuck somebody find me that son of a bitch 2018 where i can take it out im the woods and shoot that dickheaded cocksucking asshole.1
Mom: What are you doing ??
Me: Just fixing up a few bugs I encountered yesterday..
Mom: Good .. That means you are doing nothing .. Go fill up the damn water bottles ..
Me: -_- !4
Please, please, please stop cornering me at the water cooler and asking me about work. This is my break.. I can answer your question in five minutes when I’m back at my desk. Thanks.4
What i can do in the airplane...
Listen to music
See outside the window
Make some programs
Play card games
Note: the plane i am rodong doesnt have anything interesting in ife, only airshow7
Debugging in real life
Our family is working on the house. We have an integrated floor heating system, which is connected individually for each room. (we have three rooms, only two are connected yet)
Today we changed the main water boiler. At first it seemed like it was working, but then we lost pressure. It dropped fairly fast so we checked every sink, every water outlet.
We just missed the unconnected floor heating pipe, that was connected to the main pipe...
Its a fucking mess down here, so dont complain about you bugs, I have experienced worse!!!5
To get into the zone I need 5 minutes to focus, think and lay out a plan. Need a clear schedule the next 4 hours, minimum. Clean desk, headset on, water refilled and a fresh coffee. Away we go.
10 minutes later someone taps me on my shoulder .. fuck!! Every damn time1
I drink a lot and of water so I always have two glasses by my bedside -
A full one in case I get thirsty and an empty one in case I don't...
Damn fucking channel diggers. One of them probably cut our fibre cable when working on the water pipeline to our house. And tomorrow is a holiday here, so no FTTH until at least wednesday (I am not that optimistic, though).
My mobile data plan is already stretched and I was very motivated to do something on my thesis.4
Last today's project (I think).
The history: a good cover for this pool costs as much as the pool.. The fuckers are selling the pools cheap and accessories really expensive.
7 euros cover that uses the sun to heat the water. Added hocks but no need, only really needed the weights. So... 1 extra hour spent, but I like my hocks :D5
Got a new motherboard today, a Asus crosshair vi hero, AM4 for amd ryzen.
Bought is as broken / defective, it supposedly works except 2 ram slots should not get detected.
On a closer look, the story of water-damage didn't seem right.
Disassembled everything and took another look.
😲😨 "Is that solder tin? What the actual fuck?"
*Scratche it with tweezers
*"Supposed solder tin" becomes liquid and moves
😱 "The fuck that's liquid metal"
😵 Who the fuck sprinkles liquid metal all over a board?
😳Ryzen is solderd why the fuck should someone use liquid metal?
What the heck16
Media: Facebook is selling all your personal info to the highest bidder!
General Public: “What??? OMG!”
M: Russian elections are completely rigged!
GP: “What??? OMG!”
M: The social media platform you use to argue with your racist aunt isn’t actually a good place to get your news from!
GP: “What??? OMG! No way, I get all my news there!”
M: The sky is blue and water is wet!
GP: “What??? OMG!”
Me: You fucking idiots. Smarten the fuck up!
Alright, the Internet has failed me and even the mighty Amazon is proving useless in my quest for a new laptop bag. I request your aid brothers!
My old targus backpack has died a death and I need a new bag. I would prefer a messenger bag/cross body bag of some kind with enough space for a small laptop, a book, notepad, water bottle, mouse, tablet and all of the other pointless necessities I may desire (gotta carry the rubber duck somwhow) but my search and returned nothing but fancy stylish "slimline" bullshit.
I NEED PRACTICALITY AND WATERPROOF GOD DAMN IT!
Can you help a fellow nerd?9
Stressed? Of course not
I just got in the lobby of the company that I have a job interview in, I was making a cup of tea for myself and accidentally added carbonated water instead of cold water
A "different" taste sure2
Just got a new job.
All good, really enjoying it.
Only problem is, the canteen smells of chips and it's making me very hungry... Water for me :/9
Am I the only one that comes to the sad realization that if I wanna have a happy and healthy lifestyle I have to sleep a lot and avoid caffeine and do exercise on a daily basis and, on the other hand, if I wanna do all the things I'd like to do concerning software development (and hold a regular job) I have to sacrifice sleep, exercise and switch water to coffee?10
I just realized a the Keurig I bought is just a more expensive version of something I already had...
And the older one may have been better and cheaper.. KCups are expensive and the machine makes it very watery....
I think it should let the KCup soak in the water actually which is what the other one does.... and prolly cheaper than those KCups...3
A friend of mine is youtuber and he does a lot tests on phone ( call him X)
Another friend of mine hates Apple product. Partly because he can’t afford it (call him Y)
whenever X wants to do a WATER RESISTANCE TEST, Y would go: “Lets fuck Iphone”
whenever X wants to do a HEAT RESISTANCE TEST, Y would go: “Lets fuck Iphone”
whenever X wants to do a DROP TEST, Y would go: “Lets fuck Iphone”
One fine day, same happened and X got a bit red. X says: Y come here. Closer, a little more ( few centimeters away now). “Are you fucking mad or what?”2
15 minutes delayed because whatever...
+30 minutes waiting for the next train, because my train stopped early because there was no AC and it were 38 degrees Celsius
+30 minutes, train I was changed to was delayed
Train I was changed to only had snacks to offer because they haven’t got water
+60 minutes on this train because, well why not
„We wish you had a pleasant journey“: notification pops while I’m still 2 hours in...
Yeah fuck off...1
Got a cold and accidentally forgot to screw the water bottle then the water went into my computer.
All these good things.7
WTF... so I have one eye that has really poor vision but still usable if I really try, the stuff I see through it becomes very wavy like looking through water...
But now all black text on my monitor... looks bold...3
Is it ethical to force engineers to take an ethics course focused solely on water pollution?
People in my year are working on self driving cars, automation and AI.
I guess if my employer ever decides to dump old computers in the river I'll be ready for it.3
When you give your self a mini heart attack by knocking over an empty water cup while coding.
I can't count how many times I have done this over the years.2
There are Apps to,
Learn new things
Make new friends
Order and eat food
God bless us,
There's an app for everything in this world
PS : someone soon is gonna come up with an App that helps you track and take a shit :(5
"I want you to make a font, it needs to be heavy, but not too heavy. Like it should be able to float on water. So, bold enough to get a person's attention but not screaming"
When you make fried eggs after you cook them abit put some water on them and then close them with a lid so they will cook evenly with the heat of the evaporating water
He was a python developer.3
Today I spilt a glass of water onto my palm. As I was shaking the hand of a senior executive. He looked at me in disgust as our hands squelched together.
Last time I had a cup of hot water instead of coffee. This time I have 2 cups of coffee on my table. Can you remind me what's life?
Right now i want to put together a system to automatically water/warm/whatever my chilli peppers, but on the long run i want to embed some microcontrollers into my body.4
how do you devs deal with computer/screen headaches?
I’m a CS student, and last year at my software internship i had a pounding headache literally every day at work (worked 40 hours a week). I started drinking like 6 bottles of water a day and popping advil like candy, but i want to avoid them this summer.
any of you l33t vet devs have any secret tricks for these?
I hate only a handful of things in this world. Including: stepping in water with socks on, when the toilet paper rips, and business people.
In-person interview follow up from my phone interview last week. I hope I nail it. Stressing though. Gotta eat, drink water, and calm the hell down.1
So I live in the south. And it’s been pretty cold here the past few nights. And now there’s a gaping hole in my laundry room and water going everywhere and a plumber who seems to still be reading the README.md file. And my kitchen is flooding. And my gf is losing her shit. And I’m drinking coffee sitting at my bar, checking emails. Somebody wake me up.13
Last week I was studying Cocos2d-python, I had been awake for something like 35 hours, kept alive by cocacola and coffee, and while debugging I started to hear my rubber ducks talking, I've written their instructions on a blackboard, and now I'm working on that project...
And I was there like everything was normal, I had more caffeine and sugar in my body than water, I remember clearly saying "thanks weird talking duck!"2
2 years ago, the first day in Viareggio(Italy):
walked 30min on the beach searching the "free beach", walking with cool bag, umbrella, and backpack in the hot summer sun...
finding the "free beach": drop everything I had and run to the water to cool down...
forget iPhone in my swimming trunks :(
1. five weeks without a phone (really relaxing;))
2. have no iOS device for restoring the backup... because I bought an oneplus 31
Just curious because of the wk34 theme.
What was your longest coding session without stopping?
By stopping I don't mean bathroom breaks or food and water breaks.
I mean, without stopping for say, more than 30 mins .
And how did you achieve it?20
I just bought a new smartphone, cause i broke the one i had before, and i find it really good for only 140€. It has 4gb RAM and 1,5Ghz 4 cores processor, and an IP68 Shock/Dust/Water protection. The only problems that i have are that as the brand is not really popular (model is Phonemax Rocky 1), there are no recovery/roms or easy ways to root it. Maybe if i have time i'll try to port TWRP and LineageOS, but i'll have to do it myself... :(1
Not finding answer in Stack Overflow is like searching for beer in fridge and later on knowing that whole city is going through water crisis.
The new janitor lady keeps throwing away the water bottle on my desk after I leave.
I'm trying to be green here and she's making it quite frustrating... I guess I have to hide it from her.6
Boss says: Why is our email not working get it to work again.
Me: What the fuck? Only because I am the computer guy does not mean I can make wine out of water.
I've never been much of a gamer, but yesterday I bought Assassins Creed 4 and I'm totally blown away. I can't put together how something like this is developed. It seems liked I'd need months only to recreate the water…16
You guys have no idea how much it sucks to be me right now:
we got no hot water for some reason
my head is as moist as vagina after me
Its embarrassing to show up with such head
Now I guess ill have to boil water somehow wash it, wish me luck
@LinuxUser0001 made me post it, here is prove of it:11
I'm currently on my vacation. It's the best weather right now. And I got an inflammation in my left ear. I can't go in the water. Fml2
Overheard near the water cooler:
"My religion considers using interpreted languages to be a sin."
Someone here really hates the internet then...2
If you watch devRant's comments closely they all encourage you to leave your job, it goes something like this:
Rant: "So I was in my job and this guy stumbles and spills water in my shirt.."
Comments: [ "Get the fuck out of there already", "I would've quit", "If you leave you may dodge a bullet later on" ]2
The mission was to develop an Android application for configure some devices(who goes 4000m under the water) before and after their deployment by Bluetooth.
It was pretty cool!
Problem of the day #2
Your last good ping-pong ball fell down into a narrow metal pipe imbedded in concrete one foot deep.
How can you get it out undamaged, if all the tools you have are your tennis paddle, your shoe-laces, and your plastic water bottle filled with water, which does not fit into the pipe?13
Just spent my whole day to implement a VSCode extension and as soon as I finished implementing it, I came to know that the feature already exists and only requires a config change. FML, WoD.3
Aunt asked me to repair her phone because "nothing is working". She said she tried every phone repairer in the town. She blames the phone, the phone manufacturer and everyone else.
She finally admitted the phone fell into water and she didn't tell it to the repairers. Then she wonders why they can't do magic.
"But aren't the front camera and the rear camera the same camera?"
Every Morning I wake up with a subtle headache. It’s not as bad as with a hangover but still like a dehydration headache. I drink like 3 - 4 Liters of Water per day though so it can’t be that.
Any ideas on how to fix this? It makes getting up just even harder than it already is..27
Has anyone here considered going off grid? Im dreaming of buying a plot somewhere in Chile and building an off grid home. Im a remote worker and plan to remain being one.
(Off grid meaning generating your own electricity, 'harvesting' rain water and growing some greens)
Im asking to get advice and opinions2
PMs are strange. I spend over a year to perfect a self optimizing, state agnostic End2End test with almost no flakyness and they're like "Yeah, nice". I write a frickin 15 line php script to display in which translation file a certain string is defined and they act as if I'd just walked over water.
So for Father's Day I bought my dad premium coffee (Single Origin, Now Bottle Voyager pack). Very expensive even compared to Starbucks...
We brewed a few but they taste like crap. I thought he was doing it wrong. So today I dropped by the store and brought myself a cup that they made to see how the pros do it...
Well this is what I got for $5... And it also tastes like crap...
So now my question is do we actually like drinking coffee or non-carbonated sugar water that we call coffee?42
Freshly failed gloriously my degree in interaction design. Now I stumbled into a new job, doing a fullscale company advertisment campaign on cybersecurity for 6500 employees. Alone. Writing concept, gathering stakeholder, requirements and shit. I'm scared.4
These guys. I drink a lot of water (I stopped drinking coffee so I had to replace it with something).
Today is SQL day.
Been some time since I had to go here, the queries are flooding back to my mind like water over a dam wall. How the heck I remembered these is what I pondered.
Oh well, back to SQL (at a client - yay).
Now you SQL me, now you don't.
Someone may love water if all they know is a pool, or they may hate water if all they know is an ocean.
— a thought on why some take to programming more than others
How many devs does it take to change a water cooler bottle?
Two (I saw them), and one DevOps to unfuck the cooler...
How does this even? There were even instructions with pictures on the wall... This explains so much.2
Grandma got her tub handle stuck.. Now water won't turn off... Have to turn off the entire house's water... FML3
So I went to get my car serviced and they're telling me about their new amazing coffee machine.. I hope who ever invented the stupid coffee flavored syrup pump machine that "makes coffee" suffers a slow painful death. Chemical flavored liquid mixing with hot water is not "premium coffee" and fuck you if you think it is. I haven't been this disappointed since I was delivered as a child.
ALSO THERES A SPECIAL PLACE IN HELL FOR PEOPLE WHO PUT DECAFF IN THE REGULAR POTS (or pump in this case)2
I don't know if this is a joke or a miracle.
I was pooping myself on a toilet, and beside me was a bucket of water, then there was a mosquito in my palm where I held my phone. after I snap it, I accidentally threw my phone at the bucket of water.
First and foremost. It's not a water-proof phone, so don't expect that I'm rich. I immediately grab it and it's so wet.
After a while, it gets a lot of touch bug and plugged in headset which is full of water in it.
tried to wash it after I'm done pooping. shut the phone and wait until it's all dry.
After that, my phone went to teamwip(bootloader) telling me that the custom OS is missing.
After some coding, I checked my phone and it's all normal now.
Lesson Learned: never shit when you have a phone with you.4
Work hard. Seriously. If its your first job, prepare yourself for 1 year in front. Learn programming, repeat, repeat more, fail, gain expertise. Surprise them with everything you do, blow the others out of the water with your knowledge.
"Walking on water and developing software from a specification are easy if both are frozen."
-Edward V Berard
I want to start a rant thread, imagine yourself living in Syria, or south Africa, or a gang run neighbourhood in South America... What would your rant be..
the well where we get our water just got shat on by the Town drunk
Now I have to walk 5 km instead of 2.. My kid sister needs water today or she might die...
.. And! Siri just gave me the wrong fucking directions
(Not real apples, cuz.. I'm hungry)7
Kettle switch has stopped working (i.e. it needs to be held down to make it work). But that got me thinking, I could get a pi zero, attach it to a relay, serve up an interface that allows me to select amount of water and temperature, glue the button on and I have my very own smart kettle.
People here love IoT right?12
Tonight begins the holiest day of the year for Jews, Yom Kippur. I'm about to embark on a 25 hour fast, no food, no water. I'll be in a prayer house for 15+ hours, literally begging God to let me live for another year.
Meanwhile, I'm set back in my classes 150+ hours of potential work time thanks to all the Jewish holidays this month. Sukkot, Shemini Atzeret, Simchat Torah, and Rosh Hashanah.
Being Jewish is fun T_T10
To the web devs here: What resources would you recommend for catching up a little to the web development state of the art? The last time I have designed anything HTML5/CSS3 were just being introduced. So my knowledge is pretty outdated, but I'm note starting from zero. I'm looking for some best practices and something framework-agnostic would be nice. Unless you say “Dude it's 2017, nobody even boils water without using *.js”, of course.9
Here I am, chilling in the middle of nowhere. Decided to forget my laptop at home and go unplugged
I got Edge near the water only, so no internet and it feels a m a z i n g3
I though of a great way to explain to an absolute beginner why you need 3 file types to build a website:
It's like building a house
HTML handles the structure of the house
And CSS, like the decorators that make the house look pretty6
More people have access to a mobile phone than to a toilet. More than 60 prototype solutions were built in response to 113 water sector challenges defined.....Shiit!! Risk is falling asleep at a hackathon- especially when there are permanent maker pens around.
Fuck you GREEN CHEMISTRY!
Fuck you SULPHURIC ACID
Fuck you NITRIC ACID
Fuck you U.S. PRESIDENTIAL GREEN CHEMISTRY CHALLENGE AWARDS
Fuck you WATER PHASE CYCLE
Fuck you CARBON DIOXIDE
ahhh! finally its over...
shit FUCKING PHYSICS EXAM STILL LEFT !
I had the worst weekend of my life!! Accidentally poured coffee on my laptop.My phone decided to act up as well. I have never felt more alone!( A whole weekend without devRant )
What do you do when you have water or coffee spills on your computer?12
I have already started the process of a side project by desiging the software, the architecture, the 3d model, ordered all the electronics of a pet 'smart' stable for my guinea pigs.
Which would automatically feed them and refill their water tanks silently but for me the point on playing around with dozens of sensors for like different water levels, water quality, hay, temperature, water quality (you get the point) ... Building a nice looking web interface or an App to control everything and get a live feed from different angles ( sounds a bit crazy altogether but it looked like a cool project )
I even started a instructable and had a github repo for sharing the source of the app/web interface and the whole micro service based server
I'm still at it and hopefully will start to build the ***ing wood and acrylic parts in the next month's but currently and for the last month's free time ist my archenemy
Keep you posted if you are interested 😀
I was wondering if anyone else gets ctrl+z flashbacks whenever something goes wrong in real life. Example: I burned my hand with hot water today and the first thing that popped in my head was: oh crap! Undo! undo! oh wait...3
You know it's friday, if the coffee machine is still switched off at 12:52.
I only want my coffee to finish my code and start weekend.
I don't want to fill water tank or rinse and decalcify the machine.1
I was working on this attendance thing for a very prestigious talk by some amazing doctors(Which I didn't know at the time)
Being an intern I was seated next to the watercooler
So to think up a "creative" name
I used Water Mancooler as an attendant
It was all fun and good....
Little did I know that my boss was going to present it to said Doctors and they see that name as the first person attending
Needless to say I had a fun next day at work 😁
Woke up today at around 12am. Woke up with a freaked out voice from throat. Realized I can't breathe. Quickly grabbed the bottle and sipped some water. Felt a strange taste in my neck. Was able to breathe again. Fuck.6
Fiance left the mobile charger plugged inside the car, battery discharged, it's pouring out, the water is up to the rims... my shoes are drenched and i'm late for work2
I had a compile error that I was missing a com reference. But on the pc of a colleague it compiled fine.
It was something from vlc, so I reinstalled vlc.
2 seconds after that my virus scan started shouting, alert, activeX element detected, removing.....
Which water buffalocock sucking piece of diarrhea stained retard (sorry for the retards I love you all a huggy bunch and you deserve better)
Uses an activeX element which even a virus scan can identify as completely unsafe
RIP my macbook pro.. got washed up by dear water bottle. 😭😑
Bright side: I can move to linux now, thinking about booting up ubuntu or may be arch linux. 😅😁1
Needing to (re)move all my organised crime, uh, notes and stuff for the cleaning lady.
And having to tell them everytime they don't need to clean my damn keyboard and mouse as they'll ruin the traction pads and fill up the keys with fluids..
At what point for coffee basically become sugar water?
Seems like I'm craving mines like soda these days... But know if I'm getting a caffeine Rush or sugar Rush...2
I have 14 days left before uni starts, but my keyboard broke and keys: 'u' 'd' and 'o' send the key twice, which means I'll go fucking insane before I finish writing a simple function and no blowing into the switch with compressed air, no washing it with water and letting it dry for a day helps.
Today it's finally snowing again in my city, for the first time after years. Fuck yeah!
As I'm waiting for the bus, a car splashes my legs with freezing cold, dirty water. Dammit. Then a second car splashes me the same way. Fucking dammit. Then as the bus arrives, I close my umbrella and that little shit breaks. Motherfucking Dammit.3
Getting completely wired into interwebs makes me boil the same tea water at least 3 times over again.
Running low on RAM apparently.1
iPhone 6S got salt water damage. Turns out its the screen so replaced it. Original touch ID doesn't work so that's gone. Now I'm waiting for front camera, sensor, and speaker to arrive to fix that.8
When you're in the beta version of our web app, there is water marking at font size 48 that floods the background with "beta". One day, one of our users did all of her work in beta, when asked about it, she said she didn't realize it was beta.2
Finally accepted as telematics lab. assistant
Had to go to 30 years old initiation tradition by drinking 'The Drink' before getting lab. full access
Full Recipe: Mineral water, instant coffee, vanilla milk, cola, banana, pineapple, apple, melons, cup ramen, peanuts, snickers, m&m, potato chips, nata de coco.
1. Shove it all to blender
3. Bon Appetit3
I sometimes think there should be a little foldeable table in front of my toilet to put my laptop on, and a water proof water bag to use it in shower... Now I think I might have a problem
I discovered a cool little trick to wake myself up when I wouldn't stop dozing off and feeling like passing out on the floor even after emptying the coffee jar to my cup and splashing my face with cold water.
I watched horror gameplays,
Instant effect and now fully awake.
Thablnkfully human fight or flight response really puts your body on overdrive, heightens your alertness and raises oxygen levels in blood which makes you stop yawning.
Imma play or watch resident evil 7 whenever I wake up now ! Life hackzz6
I've just finshed a cours about service-oriented architecture in my uni and a lot of people are "complaining" about SOA becasue it's not used so much these days and it's a waste of time to learn it. What's your take on this? Do you use or have SOA in your company or use it in some way? Any rants about stuff you learned in school that were completely outdated? A friends friend finished uni about two years ago and they had a big course in Flash...2
WHY DOES EVERYTHING BREAK WHEN I WANT TO DEPLOY?
Finally fixed the last few bugs on my project and the thing is pretty much set to go. Then both the production and my local copy (identical in every way except for connecting to different MySQL servers) have the EXACT same query issues. The cursor fetch methods ALL get nothing EVEN WHEN I CAN SEE THE CURSOR HAS THE DATA I REQUESTED in the debugger.
I'm already in hot water for taking longer than expected with this project and this is going to push it back even further.
Or fake compiler?
Fix a problem?
Or buy a new computer?
Bring a flash drive?
Or bring a hard drive?
Use water cooling?
Or use an ice cube on top a processor and memory?
Drink some coffee?
Or eat a healthy breakfast?
Do you make hardware?
These are the problems programmers face from old people as employers or relatives trying to find something to relate to.
so now I have to use the web devrant client because i stupidly dropped my phone in the sink.I put it in a bag of rice.hopefully it shall work.Im thinking a bit of water went through the micro usb and the headphone jack.2
I'm at my best when it is constantly raining outside. It's hasn't rained properly in 6 months or so here in Portugal :/
Productivity has been picking up last 2 months but it's still depressing for it to not rain for so long when it is the "saviour" of your work. Also my country is in a severe drought and the thought of no water doesn't help.
Getting my own island where the weather is always good, the beaches are white, the water is blue, the food is plenty and good, the internet is fast and I have a lot of servants to do all my chores. My wife and kids can also come and I'm free to invite whoever I want, whenever I want.
What? Nobody said it had to be about programming! 😱1
So I ordered a 'Chai' at a well known hot beverage place (that I shall not name here) the other day while trying to stay up for coding and I was expecting to get a chai but what I got instead was the chai-colored water that you get after washing the container in which you make chai... Or at least that's what it tasted like to me having had Chai all my life.4
I have a picture of breaking waves above my desk. I lean back, remember times I was out on my surfboard just sitting in the water. Sometimes I make some green tea and just breath.
If that doesn't work, black coffee, somafm EDM and stress the fuck out until it's done.
Recently I feel like energy drinks have become my body's primary resource.
Please somebody, teach me how to life.1
When you just finished showering, scrolling through devRant... and suddenly water from your hair drops onto the screen, randomly tapping stuff and making everything unresponsive. Well, at least the battery is still.... oh wait no its empty. could this get any fucking worse.
Shred some waves at the local break and drink some salt water in the process! That's my way to get unstuck.
You can lead a horse to water. You can even tie it down and force water down it's throat, but you can't stop it from vomiting all of the water immediately afterwards.1
I like that scene in Liar Liar where Jim Carey tells everyone what he really thinks. What would you scream out at a group of programming elites if you could do it without getting in hot water. I admit I have been advised not to buck convention openly. I think that is bs but probably true.
I drink enough water to be hydrated, throw on some random rock playlist or System of A Down album & I'm in the mood.
Coke, water and tea/coffee at the reach of my hand. Two monitors and some noise (tv/netflix or music).
It lasts until I reach something that I don't want to do at the moment (generally CSS)
I looked at my S7 edge and thought to myself... When am I fixing this goddamn screen?
It has been a few months now
And I'm not going to a shop if I can do it myself a lot cheaper.
I'm actually looking into how to repair it and what stuff I need, so far I know about b7000 glue to keep I water resistant after the repair, of course some prying tools, maybe a hair dryer, and of course the screen itself, anything missing or am I good to go?
Naturally, im gonna post rant if my repair fails...
I have an idea I need to get out of my head but am not sure where to start. I want to figure out a good way to learn about real-time water simulation. I’m looking at either OpenGL, or Openframeworks, or Cinder. I have basic experience with c++ and a bit less with OpenGL but am not worried about learning. Could someone point me in the right direction? Andy good resources to learn or just general advice would be greatly appreciated.4
Why is grandma water so delicious? I literally ran to Safeway to snag me some sweet relief. This is what I've become.
I am thirsty, I have been in bed all day, I have shit loads of work due and I'm still fucking tired and did I mention thirsty AF!!!!!!!!!!!4
This is a follow-up to a previous rant: https://devrant.com/rants/1303341
I found out that when I turn on the sink faucet on hot and let that running for a minute, I can shower with decent-ish temperatures again 🤔
... meanwhile even the cold water setting yields hot water because of the temperatures outside.
Left the backplate for aircoolers in Canada, only brought the one for the water cooler I gave away here... So I'm patiently waiting for the replacement to come... 😇
Just kidding, I took the water cooler backplate off, got some twist ties, and strapped the new air cooler on. My computer hasn't caught fire yet. 😎