Douche: So your a programmer ?

Me: Yes

Douche: Excellent, I have an idea.....

Me: No

Douche: cmon bro, week be rich, this screensaver so will make us tons of money

Me: I have a question.

Douche: corz man waddup

Me: do you use a screensaver?

Douche: no, why?

Me: *walks away angrily

Developers too lazy to google search/read the README.md yet too proud to admit their mistakes.

They create disasters that I need to clean up later because they took a vacation.

why does Tux the Linux penguin always looks so concerned? it's like, cmon little man, you're awesome and it's ok that that user is using nano instead of vim, he/she will learn. ^^

The amount of "full stack" developers I've seen that know nothing about networking, servers or security has broken me inside over the years. Like cmon man either learn that stuff or stick to doing frontend. Don't put user's data at risk just because you wanna earn a bit more money

Me and my Jewish friend were eating lunch and I farted. He got mad so I said "cmon man a little gas never killed anyone".

I think it’s so cute when websites tell me that I need to disable my adbl....(inspect page).... no wait, we can talk about thi....(finds elements)....awww cmon man... really? This isn’t fair..(adds display:relative)... this is some bullshit right here! I’m really disappointed in your beha....

tldr: i take pride of our code! It hurts when someone calls it wrong when i know it was right.

So there was this integrations team that are trying to connect to our api. This team has been throwing different people to work with us. We even taught them how to use postman/soapui with ssl, even to the point that we search stackoverflow to resolve their code-level issues and left us halfway, then came back again repeating all process. A year passed, they came back with the same issue... now all answer that they get from us was to “review past conversation”, Today, they insist that we repeat ssl onboarding process as they are having issues with their current one, we insisted not to do it, and told them we (including them) can proceed without changing the client ssl. And told them we had a snippet sent to resolve their issues, but instead told us in a rude way, our sample is wrong. I was challenged to prove that we can make it work by eod. With their wrong sense of pride as theyve been working for that issue for long, they started throwing tantrums on us, saying that we do not need to make them feel that they do not know what their doing. man! Cmon, its you who requested that snippet few years back, then you tell us you dont need it as it is not working, in the first place, it is not our job to code for you asses,...i left the channel after. it was escalated quickly to management and accounts team(those people who only cares for traffic/money).. asked to return to the channel, spoonfed the details to them, provided a working snippet and left again.not sure what happened next.,. I hope this started a fire on our management to handle such incompetence.

Me and my Jewish friend were eating lunch and I farted. He got mad so I said "cmon man a little gas never killed anyone".