Grumpy cat was in a lot of our internal products, on loading screens and what not, because why not? PM got pissed and said if he sees that fucking cat again blah blah blah. Grumpy cat is now summoned with a Konami code. Grumpy cat will never die.

Ha ha! Fuck you Apple. Forced to use USB c after your stupid charger games every iphone release.

Its about time. You pricks keep forcing new chargers on me. I have a drawer full of obsolete chargers.

I can’t believe what a bullshit job I have. I may as well not even exist.

This is the poster I have on my door, in the hopes it would determine people from disturbing me and consequently taking me out of the zone and productivity streak I'm on. Sadly it does not work as often as I'd like it to 🙁 but I still love it 😆

Docker is a scam.
Git is garbage.
The cloud is a scam.

I hate it all now.

Maybe I should try roofing.

!dev

RIP grumpy cat. You were a great meme buddy

How do we feel about documentation?

Fucking lies, lies and more lies.

If you are not going to keep it accurate don’t even fucking write it down you goddamn morons!

I would rather look at the source code then be led down the garden path by your fucking lies.

Fuck all authentication everywhere all the time. Fuck your passwords. Fuck your fingerprints. Fuck your rolling key fob. Fuck your aws secrets. Fuck your docker secrets. Fuck your oauth. Fuck your /etc/passwd. Fuck your groups. Fuck chmod and fuck chown and definitely fuck Kerberos. Fuck Saml. Fuck duo mobile. Fuck rotating pins. Fuck axiad. Fuck selinux. Fuck your fill out this form to get role based access. Fuck it doesn’t work because you can’t log in. Fuck it.

Fuck JavaScript.

When is this garbage going to be banned!

That is all.

Fuck me. Upgraded a java project from java 11 to java 17 and now the shitload of power mockito tests are all failing because they locked down reflection. Now I have to upgrade to junit 5 and waste my life looking at these stupid unit tests. I sense a large purge approaching.

I am rat in an endless spring maze.

Fuck spring and fuck spring developers.

What is it with the every programmer ‘s obsession with providing additional configuration options?

Make a god damned decision please!

Throw one away!

Vscode is a fucking turd. Edit replace in files is not finding shit that is clearly there. Why are all developer tools big piles of fucking shit. Time to drink. Fuck this shit.

An important developer characteristic is being too stupid to give up.

Discuss

Die all spring developers. Die!

Fuck dependency hell.

That is all.

There is an easter egg in chrome devtools behind a colorful icon.

I just want to say fuck you to whoever wrote that message

Performance using docker sucks. Are they even trying?

With docker 134 seconds. Without docker 7 seconds.

Docker do better.

Woo-hoo! Today I built a booby detector using amazon rekognition technology. Let the jokes begin!!!

CSS makes me want to kill myself.

Fuck CSS.

The builder pattern sucks shit.

There I said it.

I can’t take the stupid security theatre anymore. I give up.

Multifactor authentication every 5 minutes. I hate it.

I don’t have a solution and neither does anyone else that doesn’t involve rewriting all apps from scratch.

Every fucking three days a group called ITO pushes new software to our development machines and fucks them all up. Gooosfraba.

I then spend two days fixing said fucked up machines and can develop code for one day before the cycle repeats. Usually they fuck up docker so don’t tell me docker is the answer.

Self signed certs break everything.

Stop it you retards.

zero fucks given today.

I cannot learn material ui and reactive ui in a day. It is insane.

Material ui zero to hero tutorial feels like a firehose to the face.

Don’t want to do this anymore.

Some days the complexity of it all just kicks my ass. Today is one of those days.

I am in jvm hell. I have been given a task to add mockito tests. All the existing documentation concerning junit 4 is out of date. Need to use junit 5. All mockito tutorials are out of date. I thought mockito was stupid before junit 5. Now it is “really” stupid. The tutorials I am reading are shit. We have wandered into bleeding edge fucktardness. Kill me now.

Fucking bike-shedding.

You design a nuclear reactor and ask for feedback and nobody says a fucking thing.

You design a bike-shed and you get feedback from every idiot and his brother and it never ends.

How do you prevent bike-shedding on your projects?

I am going back to designing nuclear reactors… GAWD!

I have an lg tv and web os does not let me put a clock anywhere on the screen.

Fuck web os. You suck.

Fuck me my head is detached.

Let me get out the tinker toys to decide what to do next.

Jesus help me.

Somebody please explain Aws serverless like I am a 5 year old.

Why the fuck are they talking about cold start time and completely reengineering the jvm so that they capture it after it is initialized?

Rube goldberg shit…

What is a stupid technology that is supposed to save you work that actually causes you more work?

Wsl with docker. Wtf! Why don’t you work? Ops has destroyed my machine today. Time to drink.

I no longer give a fuck.

Postman is a horrible third party hacking tool. It’s use should be outlawed.

What a time sink.

They said they wanted a pop. Three days later after umpteen changes no pop. This is what happens when you can’t speak directly to the stakeholders. Giant waste of time and it is all being billed babies. You bet your ass it is all being billed.

Fucking 3rd party virus scanning garbage on a mac ventura. Shuts down java. Awesome. I now live in clusterfuck city. Take that shit off my machine you paranoid security fuckwads.

Its fixed. Your welcome.

Don’t ask me to do something and then complain because it takes too long and then redirect me on six other tickets.

I am a tank that will crush problems no matter how long it takes and still do your other six tickets.

I have an errant ; appearing in a react app screen. Hundreds of components in this friggin monstrosity.

How would you find the extra ; to remove it?

Kill me now!

Fuck plex. That is all.

Has anyone had good results from hiring a JavaScript mentor?

Why the fuck does mac monteray not recognize piv smart cards. Does anyone test this shit?

If a job (swiss knife developer) is preventing you from reaching your goal (freelancing) and take all your time so you can't learn new things, you can't go to the gym, all the projects are boring (theme forest wordpress integration, prestashop hack into cpanel ...), make you sleepless at nights, and grumpier than grumpy cat ... will you quit ?

What are opinions out there on security theatre?

Should developers have access to aws secrets?

Should dev test and prod be on separate vpcs or all in one vpc.

I have worked at banks where this was strictly not allowed.

Can’t wait to hear responses on this one….