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Grumpy cat was in a lot of our internal products, on loading screens and what not, because why not? PM got pissed and said if he sees that fucking cat again blah blah blah. Grumpy cat is now summoned with a Konami code. Grumpy cat will never die.2
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Is it my imagination or are the developers who write user interfaces in 2024 completely retarded?24
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Ha ha! Fuck you Apple. Forced to use USB c after your stupid charger games every iphone release.
Its about time. You pricks keep forcing new chargers on me. I have a drawer full of obsolete chargers.18 -
This is the poster I have on my door, in the hopes it would determine people from disturbing me and consequently taking me out of the zone and productivity streak I'm on. Sadly it does not work as often as I'd like it to 🙁 but I still love it 😆
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Docker is a scam.
Git is garbage.
The cloud is a scam.
I hate it all now.
Maybe I should try roofing.41 -
Fuck me. Upgraded a java project from java 11 to java 17 and now the shitload of power mockito tests are all failing because they locked down reflection. Now I have to upgrade to junit 5 and waste my life looking at these stupid unit tests. I sense a large purge approaching.12
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How do we feel about documentation?
Fucking lies, lies and more lies.
If you are not going to keep it accurate don’t even fucking write it down you goddamn morons!
I would rather look at the source code then be led down the garden path by your fucking lies.5 -
What is it with the every programmer ‘s obsession with providing additional configuration options?
Make a god damned decision please!
Throw one away!21 -
I have an old manager that I worked with at an old job that got me shit canned for a failed web sockets implementation. He works at a new company and wants to talk.
What should I do?
A) I don’t trust this fucker. Ignore him.
B) Forgive and forget and try to get the job?
C) Something else.
D) SWAT the motherfucker.7 -
Fuck all authentication everywhere all the time. Fuck your passwords. Fuck your fingerprints. Fuck your rolling key fob. Fuck your aws secrets. Fuck your docker secrets. Fuck your oauth. Fuck your /etc/passwd. Fuck your groups. Fuck chmod and fuck chown and definitely fuck Kerberos. Fuck Saml. Fuck duo mobile. Fuck rotating pins. Fuck axiad. Fuck selinux. Fuck your fill out this form to get role based access. Fuck it doesn’t work because you can’t log in. Fuck it.7
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Vscode is a fucking turd. Edit replace in files is not finding shit that is clearly there. Why are all developer tools big piles of fucking shit. Time to drink. Fuck this shit.7
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There is an easter egg in chrome devtools behind a colorful icon.
I just want to say fuck you to whoever wrote that message10 -
Fucking ceo sends out a message about taking advantage of mental health services while her minions go through the employee ranks and purge employees to take advantage of the layoff glut from 2023 tech bloodbath. I wouldn’t need mental health services if you fuckers would leave my job alone and let me get on with it. Absolute scumbags in the c-suite.5
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Performance using docker sucks. Are they even trying?
With docker 134 seconds. Without docker 7 seconds.
Docker do better.12 -
I can’t take the stupid security theatre anymore. I give up.
Multifactor authentication every 5 minutes. I hate it.
I don’t have a solution and neither does anyone else that doesn’t involve rewriting all apps from scratch.6 -
Woo-hoo! Today I built a booby detector using amazon rekognition technology. Let the jokes begin!!!8
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I cannot learn material ui and reactive ui in a day. It is insane.
Material ui zero to hero tutorial feels like a firehose to the face.
Don’t want to do this anymore.5 -
Every fucking three days a group called ITO pushes new software to our development machines and fucks them all up. Gooosfraba.
I then spend two days fixing said fucked up machines and can develop code for one day before the cycle repeats. Usually they fuck up docker so don’t tell me docker is the answer.4 -
Has modern day development become all rabbit holes all the time?
Seems that way to me. Tired of it.2 -
I am in jvm hell. I have been given a task to add mockito tests. All the existing documentation concerning junit 4 is out of date. Need to use junit 5. All mockito tutorials are out of date. I thought mockito was stupid before junit 5. Now it is “really” stupid. The tutorials I am reading are shit. We have wandered into bleeding edge fucktardness. Kill me now.17
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I have an lg tv and web os does not let me put a clock anywhere on the screen.
Fuck web os. You suck.2 -
Fucking bike-shedding.
You design a nuclear reactor and ask for feedback and nobody says a fucking thing.
You design a bike-shed and you get feedback from every idiot and his brother and it never ends.
How do you prevent bike-shedding on your projects?
I am going back to designing nuclear reactors… GAWD!2 -
Somebody please explain Aws serverless like I am a 5 year old.
Why the fuck are they talking about cold start time and completely reengineering the jvm so that they capture it after it is initialized?
Rube goldberg shit…9 -
Fuck me my head is detached.
Let me get out the tinker toys to decide what to do next.
Jesus help me.11 -
What is a stupid technology that is supposed to save you work that actually causes you more work?18
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Wsl with docker. Wtf! Why don’t you work? Ops has destroyed my machine today. Time to drink.
I no longer give a fuck.3 -
They said they wanted a pop. Three days later after umpteen changes no pop. This is what happens when you can’t speak directly to the stakeholders. Giant waste of time and it is all being billed babies. You bet your ass it is all being billed.9
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Fucking 3rd party virus scanning garbage on a mac ventura. Shuts down java. Awesome. I now live in clusterfuck city. Take that shit off my machine you paranoid security fuckwads.
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Its fixed. Your welcome.
Don’t ask me to do something and then complain because it takes too long and then redirect me on six other tickets.
I am a tank that will crush problems no matter how long it takes and still do your other six tickets. -
I have an errant ; appearing in a react app screen. Hundreds of components in this friggin monstrosity.
How would you find the extra ; to remove it?
Kill me now!9 -
If a job (swiss knife developer) is preventing you from reaching your goal (freelancing) and take all your time so you can't learn new things, you can't go to the gym, all the projects are boring (theme forest wordpress integration, prestashop hack into cpanel ...), make you sleepless at nights, and grumpier than grumpy cat ... will you quit ?1
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What are opinions out there on security theatre?
Should developers have access to aws secrets?
Should dev test and prod be on separate vpcs or all in one vpc.
I have worked at banks where this was strictly not allowed.
Can’t wait to hear responses on this one….11
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