Me: *programming*

Team: *furiously discussing something outside of my expertise*

Me: *programming*

Team: *finally acknowledging my existance* "Yeah, dude. We are going to delete te project and start over because we can't fix this issue [which we have never ever discussed with you]."

Me: "What, that's stupid."

Team: "Well, do you have any bright ideas to fix it?"

Me: "Gimme until tomorrow."

Me: *programming*

Team: *doing absolutly nothing*

Me: "I fixed it!"

Team: "Why didn't you do that a week ago?"

Me: "You didn't ask..."

And so goes te story of how i was almost killed by an angry mob.

Fuck pair programming
Fuck mob programming
Fuck all that hipster shit!

Rant here... Consistent daily Mob or pair pair programming is for noobs, non-competent programmers that delay deadlines and cannot hold their own in corporate development environments

My team decided to do a MOB programming in one of our tickets.

New joiner: Perfect we did a mob yesterday .

Me: Great, that's good. How did it go?

New joiner: Well, we work together in the gaming room next to each other and trying to solve the issue. I think it's very productive.

Me: Awesome! Let's do it again today... When we started the MOB, all of them are using their own laptop. And I was like.. so, this is how you did the MOB yesterday?

New guy: Yes.

Me: This is not a MOB programming... MOB programming uses only 1 screen, 1 driver and everyone work together, will tell the driver what to do, we need to exchange the driver every 10 to 15 minutes, everyone can be a driver. (devs, qa, ux, product) and do a retro after.

New guy: ah.. wow! Interesting.

Mob programming all day is fucking shit.

Team is trailing mob programming today 🤞

What do we think about it?