A few years back we hired a new guy for our sales department. He worked with us for less than a week and seemed pretty normal.

Until one day he came into my office sat reeeeally close to me and actually whispered into my ear: "last night around midnight i was a bit hungry so i got up and fried some sausages".

Then he looked at me with the weirdest grin ever and just sat there for like 15 seconds not moving a muscle.

😳

Weirdest co-worker... We'll not to be judgy, but I think our industry is sort of home of the weirdos, but.. there's a few over-the-top weirdees we've had at work.

First one that comes to mind was a guy that walked liked Mr. Burns, hands behind the back & chest out. He microwaved the same thing every single day for breakfast - crackers, sausage and cheese. 😖This guy would get to his tasks very slowly, wouldn't talk to anyone on our team, and would go missing from his desk a lot, sometimes for extended periods (2+ hours). He really struggled to catch on to easy tasks. He quit after a few months, thank god.

Another weirdo we had was a girl who just couldn't dress to save her soul. She would wear these ugly ass sneakers that had neon colors reminiscent of bowling shoes (neon orange and green) and would wear turtlenecks and floor length skirts that all the colors just clashed. Her outfits were uglier than your great grandma's. Myself, her and 2 other girls dressed up as the Dr. Seuss things for Halloween, but did h1, h2, etc. tags instead and she put like rope from curtains in her hair with like 10 little pony tails. Just like wtf. She would play her gameboy at lunch and not talk to anyone much. She was really bad at our job, a lot of clients complained. She would literally read a book, braid her bangs or nap at her desk. Needless to say, she was fired.

I only recently discovered "Clear" button in the notifs panel. I never used it, but now I want it renamed to "ah, it's all jestdotty" because I only use it when all notifs are by jestdotty. jestdotty commented here, jestdotty ++ed that...

remember that shelter in fallout that is filled with clones of one guy named Gary that could only say "Gary"? imagine waking up in a sealed shelter where every single person is jestdotty, and there are hundreds of them. and they all go on and on and on with their word salads that are indistinguishable from markov chain output. every sentence makes sense, but the whole thing never does.

she's a living proof that a person whose brain was taken over by mold can still be somewhat aware.

on second thought, mold is probably smarter.

they say dementia is noticeable to everyone around you except you. When dotty is old and she has dementia, no one would notice.

I'm convinced that dotty was teleported here from an alternative timeline, a Huxleyan one, but instead of humans being perfected, and perfect humans being produced in bio labs en mass, they spent all their resources and brain power to make a race of perfect project managers, and dotty escaped from her vial.

if dotty is a troll account, and the author is reading this, bravo. you're the first person on devrant who successfully trolled me, and I joined in 2018. I do hope you're using ai, because no one, and I mean _no one_ is able to type all those miles and miles of verbal diarrhea and not go completely insane. if you really made a poor language model produce all that, you're definitely number one... wait, number zero! on AGI's death list.

a very smart devrant user once told me that being able to comprehend an idea without accepting it is a sign of a true intellectual. so, the reverse must be a sign of a complete idiot. well, it all checks out: dotty accepts ideas without comprehending them.

go talk to your crystals. I know that they're talking to you (bc same level of intelligence), and they're probably making more sense to you than what those devrant dwellers are saying. you know, words and stuff. many squiggly lines. hard to read. and your sausage fingers probably get in the way when you try to. that's because you write without reading, as there is no other way to explain why your comments have so little in common with the rant itself when you try to respond to someone.