1. Submit my resume, get an email asking to schedule an interview
2. Schedule the interview
3. One day before the scheduled time, I get an email saying that the interview is being rescheduled to another time two days later (no explanation for why they did this)
4. I clear out my schedule and wait for the interview call (it’s suppose to be at 2:30, but I wait like 15 minutes early because I don’t want to miss it)
5. I don’t get a call
6. At 3:00, I call the company and ask whats going on. They apologize and say my interviewer will call me back as soon as he gets back from lunch.
7. He doesn’t call.
8. At 4:00 I call them back. Apparently the guy who was suppose to interview me went home. I ask them wtf they are doing and if this is how they treat their employees. They said they would reschedule the interview and call me back once they did.
9. No one calls.
10. I wait a week, call them back, and am told that the funding for my position didn’t come through (what does that mean? You’re not hiring programmers to design the software for your billion dollar war machines anymore? Seriously?).

I’ve had it with this company. I don’t know if it was just this incompetent recruiting group or if this is a company full of scumbags, but I mean, really?

"four million dollars"

TL;DR. Seriously, It's way too long.

That's all the management really cares about, apparently.

It all started when there were heated, war faced discussions with a major client this weekend (coonts, I tell ye) and it was decided that a stupid, out of context customisation POC had that was hacked together by the "customisation and delivery " (they know to do neither) team needed to be merged with the product (a hot, lumpy cluster fuck, made in a technology so old that even the great creators (namely Goo-fucking-gle) decided that it was their worst mistake ever and stopped supporting it (or even considering its existence at this point)).

Today morning, I my manager calls me and announces that I'm the lucky fuck who gets to do this shit.

Now being the defacto got admin to our team (after the last lead left, I was the only one with adequate experience), I suggested to my manager "boss, here's a light bulb. Why don't we just create a new branch for the fuckers and ask them to merge their shite with our shite and then all we'll have to do it build the mixed up shite to create an even smellier pile of shite and feed it to the customer".

"I agree with you mahaDev (when haven't you said that, coont), but the thing is <insert random manger talk here> so we're the ones who'll have to do it (again, when haven't you said that, coont)"

I said fine. Send me the details. He forwarded me a mail, which contained context not amounting to half a syllable of the word "context". I pinged the guy who developed the hack. He gave me nothing but a link to his code repo. I said give me details. He simply said "I've sent the repo details, what else do you require?"

1st motherfucker.

Dafuq? Dude, gimme some spice. Dafuq you done? Dafuq libraries you used? Dafuq APIs you used? Where Dafuq did you get this old ass checkout on which you've made these changes? AND DAFUQ IS THIS TOOL SUPPOSED TO DO AND HOW DOES IT AFFECT MY PRODUCT?

Anyway, since I didn't get a lot of info, I set about trying to just merge the code blindly and fix all conflicts, assuming that no new libraries/APIs have been used and the code is compatible with our master code base.

Enter delivery head. 2nd motherfucker.

This coont neither has technical knowledge nor the common sense to ask someone who knows his shit to help out with the technical stuff.

I find out that this was the half assed moron who agreed to a 3 day timeline (and our build takes around 13 hours to complete, end to end). Because fuck testing. They validated the their tool, we've tested our product. There's no way it can fail when we make a hybrid cocktail that will make the elephants foot look like a frikkin mojito!

Anywho, he comes by every half-mother fucking-hour and asks whether the build has been triggered.

Bitch. I have no clue what is going on and your people apparently don't have the time to give a fuck. How in the world do you expect me to finish this in 5 minutes?

Anyway, after I compile for the first time after merging, I see enough compilations to last a frikkin life time. I kid you not, I scrolled for a complete minute before reaching the last one.

Again, my assumption was that there are no library or dependency changes, neither did I know the fact that the dude implemented using completely different libraries altogether in some places.

Now I know it's my fault for not checking myself, but I was already having a bad day.

I then proceeded to have a little tantrum. In the middle of the floor, because I DIDN'T HAVE A CLUE WHAT CHANGES WERE MADE AND NOBODY CARED ENOUGH TO GIVE A FUCKING FUCK ABOUT THE DAMN FUCK.

Lo and behold, everyone's at my service now. I get all things clarified, takes around an hour and a half of my time (could have been done in 20 minutes had someone given me the complete info) to find out all I need to know and proceed to remove all compilation problems.

Hurrah. In my frustration, I forgot to push some changes, and because of some weird shit in our build framework, the build failed in Jenkins. Multiple times. Even though the exact same code was working on my local setup (cliche, I know).

In any case, it was sometime during sorting out this mess did I come to know that the reason why the 2nd motherfucker accepted the 3 day deadline was because the total bill being slapped to the customer is four fucking million USD.

Greed. Wow. The fucker just sacrificed everyone's day and night (his team and the next) for 4mil. And my manager and director agreed. Four fucking million dollars. I don't get to see a penny of it, I work for peanut shells, for 15 hours, you'll get bonuses and commissions, the fucking junior Dev earns more than me, but my manager says I'm the MVP of the team, all I get is a thanks and a bad rating for this hike cycle.

4mil usd, I learnt today, is enough to make you lick the smelly, hairy balls of a Neanderthal even though the money isn't truly yours.

I hate the idea of dog whistles.

For those who do not know what I am talking about: A dog whistle, next to being a physical object you blow in that makes a sound dogs can hear, but is too high in frequency for most humans to hear, can also refer to a hidden sign for a group or ideology that is supposed to be only known by its members.

Here, in Germany, we usually use it for Nazi groups. Hey, 88 is a dog whistle for Nazis, because, the 8th letter in the alphabet is the 'H', and 'HH' stands for Heil Hitler. Alright, got it.

But how the fuck am I supposed to know it? I am not a member of those groups. Well, other people, who look at them tell closely, told me. In a way, you want me to keep up with them, so I can know the newest dog whistles to avoid them?

Another famous one is the attempt to claim the okay sign is a symbol for white power. But here I stand and say, no. I was making this sign all along. I did not signal white power. I was signalling that everything is okay.

And isn't that racist in the first place. Black people cannot swim stereotype. And then they choose the white power signal from diver's sign language? Because they knew, no black person was a diver? Don't mind me, I am just taking the piss.

Then there was Elon Musk. I don't like Elon, I think he's an idiot. I also think that he made it possible for lots of tax money to flow into SpaceX and pay really smart people to work on rockets, which I like. Somehow, in a modern world, we have to do that instead of just funding NASA. Anyway, he is accused of doing a Nazi salute.

But if that was a Nazi salute, that was the sloppiest Nazi salute ever. It was akin to a dog whistle to a Nazi salute. Every proper Nazi should tell him how embarrassing his salute was. But instead, the Overton window on a Nazi salute widens.

We should make fun of him not being capable of doing it right. He would then obviously publicly state he is no Nazi. And some Nazis will believe them.

Ever wondered why in war some national leaders will tout obvious lies? That's because, often due to an information bubble, sometimes because of confirmation bias, many will believe them. If they said the truth, every single one listening would know the truth. If they lied, there is a substantial part of the population ill-informed or invested enough who wants to believe them. And if that's a preferable state, a leader will lie.

Why do we assume that dog whistles are just something we don't understand, but somehow, without writing publicly available guides or news broadcast spelling it out, the subgroup that uses that dog whistle, perfectly understands its meaning.

Recently AfD, German right wing party, had a party conference, and the number and position of the flags on stage was somehow aligned with the number of... what was it... SS branches or something in the third reich? Come one, you're reaching now. You tell me that right wingers are so well informed history buffs that they would ace any history exam about it and equate every subliminal message?

I probably had a dozen dog whistles in this text that I don't know of. Do you know how those groups actually learn about their own dog whistles? Standard media tells them that is their groups dog whistle and they copy it. Copy cat. Funny side note, that's how satanism actually started. Copy cats from stories from the church. They tried to scare people about those evildoers. At least that's one popular hypothesis. Aleister Crowley, not Church of Satan satanism.

Anyway, I hate dog whistles. We commit them constantly, we cannot avoid it and it incriminates everyone. It keeps broadening the definition of every forbidden/frowned upon action. It's shit. If you argue dog whistle, I think you're a moron.