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Fuck my life...
Okay, so I’m working on a web app with a small group... the app is basically a lead generator for new business in another country. We just need contact details cause they’re a fucker to buy.
Step 1: prototype to the investors, working with the ceo to make this thing look shiny AF.
Goes well as fuck.
CEO: “when can we get this out?”
Me: “it’s basically done mate, get your guys to look at it and we can talk about marketing”
Que a shower of 10 or so bellends with senior in their title going into a room and coming out with:
Bellends: “so on this page we want the user to confirm and accept the contract”
Me: “cool, makes some sense, that’s what it’s already doing.”
Bellends: “afterwards we want to show them the price and have them put in their banking details.”
Me: “Wait, you what when?”
Bellends: “Yeah, well Jenny says we should have as few clicks as possible to get to the final stage and have the customer accept.”
Me: “Jenny’s on fucking crack, moving the contract formation phase to after the contract acceptance stage is not an option”
Bellends: “Oh it’s okay, Andy in legal said that would be okay”
Me: “Andy’s a fucking moron, tell him that online contract formation laws were updated 2014/2015 and you can’t do that anymore”
Bellends: “No, andy’s legal, surely he knows”
Bellends: “We want all of this above the fold”
Me: “OH FUCKING SUCK A DICK YOU ABSOLUTE BAND OF FUCKWADS... which one of you, which one hasn’t looked at a website this millennia!?”
Needless to say I ignored all their shit, got the lead generator out and told the CEO those ten people are certifiably fucking useless.
Bonus round; recent, but “it has to be on internal infrastructure”
“Why? It’s a mobile app sending rest calls to a third party saas.”
“It just has to, we have this thing called the private cloud and w”
“Wait... you what son, priv 🤦🏼♂️ private what mate?”
“Private cloud”
“You... you mean a server rack?”
“Nah we spent £2mn on it, it’s brilliant”
“Hahahaha you fucking dick, you blew £2mn on server infra with fuckall to put on it!?”
“No, no it’s the private cloud”
“Fucking idiot, aye son, where’s the fucking bean stalk you prick!?”
“It has to go on internal infr”
“Shut up, that won’t work”9 -
I'm extremely lucky I'm not violent person. What happened today for some reason just completely pissed me off. I'm not sure why it got under my skin so much, but I feel completely disrespected.
I went to our marketing person's office to discuss a basic requirement for our api. Very simply, we have a lot of old shitty date that doesn't have a lot of fields filled out (worse yet, some are simply bogus values like crazy random dates and whatnot).
She put in a ticket claiming our most recent change started changed the creation dates to be empty. Easy enough to disprove, because the marketing software we have shows a records of all the edits for each contact, and if it came from our api it'll be labeled as "Web API". So of course I check the example contacts she give us, and there's no history of changes, meaning they never had the date to begin with (which is correct, as until now we didn't track creation date WHICH IS NOT MY DECISION. So dude 10 years ago probably made that decision).
So I start asking what exactly we're using it for. She does an absolutely horrible job of describing it and keeps telling me "no you absolutely have to be able to do all this, it's our requirements". By "this" she wants me to magically give all these contacts correct creation dates after the fact.
Eventually she gets the whole campaign idea out and I point, politely, that they're probably violating GDPR. She starts yelling saying her and her boss have been doing marketing for years and they know what they're doing. So I (less politely this time) said that's fine, I just want to talk with her boss to make sure he understands he's in the grey area and that if I'm the one building this, I'm kind of liable as well.
She clearly didn't like that, but I thought whatever, let's just agree on some requirements and I'll pass it on to my boss (who genuinely shits on her every single day and is constantly saying she never knows what she's doing).
So I go back , do some work. A little later I have to go print something off which is next to her office. Her door is shut, but I can hear her from down the hall yelling at someone about the conversation we just had. She actually starts mocking me. Doing the "stupid person" voice. This goes on for longer than our conversation.
Like I said, I know I'm right and she's just venting because she doesn't want to admit she's made a mistake. But for some reason it just completely broke me. I'm new but up until this point everyone had been pretty open about how they feel about me and my co-worker. But she just didn't need to go that bloody far.9 -
TL;DR Developers don't like it when marketing attempts to do their job. They like it even less when they have to clean up the mess when they fuck things up.
Our marketing team was specifically told not to put JS into the CMS. They were told that if you need JS for something, we will do it and then work it into a release. That wasn't good enough so they hired a design firm to "hack" the JS inline. They found a back door to get the JS in place but couldn't get it to work right. They called me to come look at it. After 5 minutes of explaining why they shouldn't have done what they did, I grudgingly decided to look at the JS. 30 seconds later I fixed what they had been screwing with for about 8 hours. They were using --> arrows in their comments! Seriously?!? designer != developer2 -
Can someone help me understand?
I subscribed to a nifty IT-releated magazine, and on its back, there's an ad for "Dedicated root server hosting", nothing unusual at a first glance, but after I read the issue, I decided to humor them and see what it is that they offered, and... It just... Doesn't make sense to me!
An ad for "Dedicated Root Server" - What is a dedicated root server first of all? Root servers of any infrastructure sound pretty important.
But, the ad also boasts "High speed performance with the new Intel Core i9-9900K octa-core processor", that's the first weird thing.
Why would anyone responsible enough want to put an i9 into a highly-reliable root server, when the thing doesn't even support ECC? Also, come on, octa-core isn't much, I deal with servers that have anywhere between 2 and 24 cores. 8 isn't exactly a win, even if it has a higher per-core clock.
Oh, also, further down the ad has a list of, seeming, advantages/specs of the servers, they proclaim that the CPU "incl. Hyper-Threading-Technology"... Isn't that... Standard when it comes to servers? I have never seen a server without hyperthreading so far at my job.
"64 GBs of DDR4 RAM" - Fair enough, 64 gigs is a good amount, but... Again, its not ECC, something I would never put into a server.
"2 x 8 TB SATA Enterprise Hard Drive 7200 rpm" - Heh, "enterprise hard drive", another cheap marketing word, would impress me more if they mentioned an actual brand/model, but I'll bite, and say that at least the 7200 rpm is better than I expected.
"100 GBs of Backup Space" - That's... Really, really little. I've dealt with clients who's single database backup is larger than that. Especially with 2x8 TB HDD (Even accounting for software raids on top)
This one cracks me up - "Traffic unlimited"
Whaaaat?! You are not gonna give me a limit to the total transferred traffic to the internet for my server in your data center? Oh, how generous of you, only, the other case would make the server just an expensive paperweight! I thought this ad was for semi-professionals at least, so why mention traffic, and not bandwidth, the thing that matters much more when it comes to servers? How big of a bandwidth do I get? Don't tell me you use dialup for your "Dedicated Root Server"s!
"Location Germany or Finland" - Fair enough, geolocation can matter when it comes to latency.
"No minimum contract" - Oooh, how kiiiind of you, again, you are not gonna charge me extra for using the server only as long as I pay? How nice!
"Setup Fee £60" - I guess, fair enough, the server is not gonna set itself up, only...
The whole ad is for "monthly from £55.50", that's quite the large fee for setup.
Oh, and a cherry on top, the tiny print on the bottom mentions: "All prices exclude VAT and are a subject to..." blah blah blah.
Really? I thought that this sort of almost customer deceipt is present only in the common people's sphere!
I must say, there's being unimpressed, and then... There's this. Why, just... Why? Anyone understands this? Because I don't...12 -
Is just me or being a developer has become a complete nightmare?
I mean, I never expected when I got into it to have a simple life in the first place, it's a fucking problems solving job.
But heck, I'm in the field from more than 12 years and something has definitely changed for the worse. Believe me I am just seeking for a general consensus not approval or anything, but it doesn't feel anything like 10 years ago.
I have worked with .NET mostly in all his sauces from aspx, wpf, up to today .NET 10 and C#13 and in the meanwhile it happened that I needed to do tech assistance, code in exoteric shit, use arduinos and raspberries, use perl, java, turn into full stack with databases, devops and shit.
Each year it's worse, the "developer" word gets more and more blurred word to say "the one who must know everything".
I'm asked to know docker, kubernetes, kafka, CI/CD and devop shit, web dev, to get ertifications, to learn how AI works to the level of learning again matht to do matrix interpolations, to get on data science, python, numpy, pandas, pytorch and shit, to know every OS, to know about networking because APIs now have to use rest, a single verb for every action, because if routers and new communication protocols break you have to know and figure out why.
Not to mention that marketing and sales guy shove up the big customers ass every new tecnology to make our work look like bling-a-ling top notch 1% developer stuff that always use latest bleeding edge technology and you're forced to learn new immature frameworks every 2 months or so (latest being various javascript/typescript diagramming libraries).
Every idiot feels entitled to puke out a new framework or supersets of existing languages. I lost count how many supersets css has that I had to peek and learn lol.
Every fucking simple software I did from scratch and designed by myself, web portals for big pharma were much simple than whatever PM i get assigned to are and guess what, I published it and fixed ofc some bugs, but most bugs are related to customer unstable datasets and well, I never had bugs after the first few weeks, except once every few months and nothing serious.
The fucking things they let me do now are hypercomplicated and I spend days fixing other people bugs and we get some hair pulling structural problems becuase they shove in all they can (mediator patterns are a must): kafka, docker, messagebus, whatever javascript clusterfuck they can, patchworks of html and css blurred out in layers of hierarchical scss or sass, slapped into angular (the most immature and crappy shit in js) that has all of his hidden ways to bury and hide DOM (ng-deep: anyone? :host anyone?).
And it's all like this. Whenever I put hands everyone wants to do his little frankeinstein experiment cooking togheter in a cauldron a shit ton of different stuff, overcomplicated patterns.
it's a challenge at shooting flies with bazookas.
I'm really tired of technology at all, not only for my jobs. This fucking trend is a plague spread everywhere and now, since everyone has to deal with it, everything is unstable.
In my daily usage of a smartphone app crashes a lot or have weird troubles, slowness, websites are pretending to be full blown app with this shitty SPA trend and are filled with bugs and incompatibilites.
Basically every tech tool we use is 100% more prone to bugs than 10 years ago.I'm really thinking to find a simple job like baker or shit and get an old phone that just can call and send SMS.
I need to get out of tech for a few years to get back my sanity.
This is not a problem-solving job anymore.
10 years ago I needed to study too but once I got the tools in my hands the job was fun, you got a magic wrench and sky was the limit.
Now you got to fucking learn a ton of bullshit everyday and it's not like you see a end on it, everyday people push out new unstable and bugged shit waiting for devs to be guinea pigs for them. You gotta learn a ton of stuff of which 3/4 will be useless/obsolete/broken and considered inefficient the next month.
jeeeeeez17
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