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Search - "yes i love php"
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I fucking love people like this.
Yesterday I met a 'friend' who I hadn't seen in a very long time. Just a guy I used to know tbh but let's call him Friend anyway. After a while in the conversation this happened...
*Friend doesn't know I have a degree in CS*
Friend: "WHAT?? YOU LIKE PROGRAMMING? NO WAY! ME TOO!"
Me: "THAT'S AWESOME! You've been programming for long?"
Friend: "A little over a year now. I know almost all languages now. C++, C#, Python, Java and HTML. Still a couple left to go. Once you're on the level I achieved programming becomes really, really easy. How long have you been programming?"
Me: "Almost a decade now"
Friend: "Damn dude you must know all languages by now I suppose?"
Me: "I've been mainly doing C++ so not really haha"
Friend: "I can always help when you're struggling with one language. C++ is pretty easy tbh. You should learn others too btw. HTML for example is pretty important because you can program websites with it"
Me: "Yeah... Thanks... So... What project are you working on right now?"
Friend: "I'm making a register page for my very own forum. The only problem I have is that PHP won't save the login details"
Me: "Hahaha I know the feeling. MySQL?"
Friend: "What?"
Me: "What do you use to save your data"
Friend: "Just a txt file. It's easier that way."
Me: "Hahaha true. Who needs safety right? *smiles*"
Friend: "Actually it's 100% safe because only I can see the txt file so other people can not hack other users."
Me: "Yes! That's great! Cya!"
Friend: "I'm working on a mmorpg too btw! I can learn you to make games if you want. Just call me. Here's my number"
Me: "Alright... Thanks... Bye!"
*Arrives at home*
*Deletes number*
I do not make this up.
I can understand that someone who isn't in the CS industry doesn't take it too seriously and gets hyped when their "Hello World" program works.
I'm fine with that.
The thing that really triggers me is big headed ass holes like this. Like how much more like a absolute dickhead could you possibly more act? Fucking hate people like that.32 -
Started working on a pihole alternative a while ago.
I like pihole a lot but one of the features I am missing is to be able to define a list of mass surveillance related domains (Snowden leaks; PRISM program and such) and show statistics based on dns queries containing blacklisted domains, prases/words and surveillance-related domains/words (google/facebook/microsoft/apple etc).
Started working on one based on an existing (php based) dns server which is open source and slowly but surely developed something which worked.
Then, I found out that the php resolving function (dns resolving) uses the system default, which can, of course, be google's dns as well. Changing this would be ideal but while the documentation suggested that it could be done some way, it didn't work for me so I chose a library which can do it with specific dns servers (to use as external dns servers).
This library used a different way of showing the retrieved dns query results and really wasn't in for converting everything by hand so i kinda quit the project a while ago.
A few days ago I thought fuck it and started again.
Now have a working version based on the new dns resolving library and made some other good improvements.
For those who are wondering why I chose PHP for this: why the fuck not?
Happy happy happy.rant php fuck mass surveillance fuck microsoft fuck google dns server yes i love php fuck facebook dns16 -
i understand some developers like to write wrapper functions to handle tedious things, I even understand how to write dynamic SQL queries, but for the love of fucking god and sanity, NEVER FUCKING DO THIS!!!!
Yes its PHP, but its not even bad PHP, its a fucking abomination from hell of PHP.rant mysql legacy code gone wrong bourbon lots of bourbon why the fuck god no php sql injection ftw what in the flying fuck30 -
In PHP (yes, it's a language I... don't hate) I've always hated exceptions. They're like GOTO, in an OOP world with interfaces and contracts, try/catch is really odd as it breaks a promise about returning with a typed value.
But you can now do this in PHP8, which comes pretty close to Maybe/Either monads (Option, Result whatever it's called in other languages):
function getUser(): User | UserNotFound
PHP8 unions don't come with the same strong guarantees as in other languages but *pets PHP gently on the head* you did well, my boy.
Now I would really love it if PHP9 could do:
function getUsers(): Collection<User>
Type Tree<T> = Null | Node<T>;
function 🎄(): Tree<Branch<Ornament|Light|null>>15 -
For the love of GOD, if you're an architect or someone in the position where you can make drastic changes to the overarching design of a software system, if you're so keen on enforcing something "cool" just because you've read about it in a blog post/seen it on a youtube video, READ ABOUT IT THOROUGHLY, as in, pick up a fucking book or do actual research. An architect overseas just informed us that a whole legacy PHP application (a fucking monolith with a dysfunctional database, yes, I think someone demented designed it) should be rewritten to a microservice architecture (without a messaging broker, just plain API interaction through HTTP) AND WE'RE KEEPING THE DATABASE WHICH BEGS TO BE PUT DOWN FOR GOOD. So now we're gonna have a clusterfuck of tons of PHP microservices (Q_Q) which interact through plain HTTP APIs (swagger's gonna be put to a test) and all have a single broken database in the center. Talk about a microlithic design. Jesus Christ.9
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Service I was needed to integrate to our system had such poor documentation and a separate pricing tier to access their APIs...
... Not having it. Used Guzzle to perform both the authentication and their search page, then made wrote a function to web scrape the result.
Job done. 😎 And yes, I have no shame to say I love PHP.2 -
So I'm a young lad with a career in Front end development I love coding in HTML (yes I know it's not a coding language to some, but to a computer illiterate person it's wizardry so I've got that going for me) I've got skills in responsive design with css and skills in javascript, jQuery and a little bit of skill in PHP But I'm not sure what to go for next? I'm not much of a back end developer..got nothing against it, just never was my cuppa tea. I want to improve my skills but I'm not sure what to look into.. Any advice?2
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A bit longer rant, somehow triggered by the end of this rant:
https://devrant.com/rants/7145365/...
The discussion revolved around strpos returning false or a positive integer.
Instead of an Option or a Exception.
I said I'm a sucker for exception, but I'm also a sucker for typing.
Which is something most languages lack - except the lower level ones like C / C++.
I always loved languages which have unsigned and signed types.
There, I said it... :) I know that signed / unsigned is controversial, Google immediately leads to blog entries screaming bloody murder because unsigned can overflow – or underflow, if someone tries to use a -1on an unsigned integer.
Note that my love is only meant for numeric types, unsigned / signed char is ... a whole can of insanity on its own.
https://phoronix.com/news/...
If you wanna know more.
Back to the strpos problem, now with my secret love exposed:
strpos works on a single string, where a string is a sequence of chars starting with 0.
0 is a positive integer.
In case the needle (char that should be looked up in the string) cannot be found in the haystack (the string), PHP returns "false".
This leads to the necessity of explicitly checking the type as "0" (beginning of string, a string position)... So strpos !== false.
PHP interprets 0 as false, any other integer value is true.
In the discussion, the suggestion came up to return -1 if a value could not be found – which some languages do, for example Scala.
Now I said I have a love for unsigned & signed integers vs. just signed integers...
Can you guess why the -1 bothers me very much?
Because it's a value that's illogical.
A search in a sequence that is indexed by 0 can only have 0 or more elements, not less than zero elements.
-1 refers to a position in the sequence that *cannot* exist.
Which is - of course - the reason -1 was chosen as a return value for false, but it still annoys me.
An unsigned integer with an exception would be my love as a return value, mostly because an unsigned integer represents the return value *best*. After all, the sequence can only return a value of 0 ... X.
*sigh*
Yes, I know I'm weird.
I'm also missing unsigned in Postgres, which was more or less not implemented because it's not in the SQL standard...
*sob*29 -
Backend wise
After a year and a half of working with what i love (nodejs microservices and bit of python) I have to update my php skills and refresh my memory with latest Laravel 😕 (I used it as an authentication/authorisation and REST backend for a react native app early 2016 and did not touch it since)
Passive Job hunting sux and yes PHP ain't my thing anymore 😔 i mean i have next to 6-8 years exp in it but given the choice... 😒
I used to love it (so many good memory with cakephp 😌🙄it teached me a lot early in my carrer) before I discover functional programming paradigm and got deep understanding of JS