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Search - "god no"
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Finally I found a webpage related to my bug.
The page is from 2004.
*keeps reading*
"Yes, yes! This is exactly the problem I'm having"
*Carefully reading each comments*
*Looking at scroll bar with stress*
*Almost coming to end, no signs of solution*
At the end the thread creator say: "Ah finally I've fixed the problem. Thanks everyone for helping"
*moment of silence*
WHY U NO SHARE THE GOD DAMN SOLUTION? YOU FUCKING IDIOT17 -
I had to go help marketing with a website UI issue today:
Me: What version of IE are you using?
Her: Oh my god! Did you say virgin?
Me: No, "Version".
Her: Hahaha you guys I thought he asked what virgin am I using!
*room erupts into laughter*
WTF is this high school?12 -
Me: Alright, let's code!
School: Psst. Hey.
Me: What?
School: Remember that assignment from last week?
Me: Oh god please no.
School: Yeah, it's tomorrow. And you have a Geography exam next Monday. You love geography, right?
Me: Please, no, I want to become a programmer, not a--
School: Shush... It's okay. Programming can wait. You want a to get a job, right? What would they say when they see your poor Geography?
Me: That doesn't even... Okay, fine, I'll do it...
* two days later *
Me: Fuck me! Finally! Let's do some coding now.
School: Psst. Hey.16 -
Me: Did Sherry let you know that I'm leaving today?
Coworker: what!? No!
Me: yeah... I'm leaving.
Coworker: huh, I'm not surprised...
Me: what is that supposed to mean!?
Co: shit man, this job sucks, I'm not surprised. I'll be leaving right behind you.
Me: oh.... Um... April Fools... 😬
Co: God damnit.
Me: don't worry, I won't tell the boss how you really feel.4 -
They asked for a web developer
Interviewer : can you fix this printer ?
Me: no
Interviewer : You're not for this job
Me: thanks God I'm not for that job1 -
Had a PR blocked yesterday. Oh god, have I introduced a memory leak? Have I not added unit tests? Is there a bug? What horrible thing have I unknowingly done?
... added comments to some code.
Yep apparently “our code needs to be readable without comments, please remove them”.
Time to move on, no signs of intelligent life here.39 -
Once A Programmer Had No Child, No Money, No Home, Blind Mother, so he Prays To God.
God Says He Will Grant Him One Wish!
Programmer : “I Want My Mother To See My Wife Putting Diamond Bangles On My Child’s Hands, In Our New Home”
God: “Damn! I Still Have A Lot To Learn From These Programmers”8 -
That moment that someone collapses right in front of you and you have no idea of what to do. (Thank God there were people who knew exactly what to do around)
I'm going to take an first aid workshop/course thingy as soon as possible.32 -
So I cracked prime factorization. For real.
I can factor a 1024 bit product in 11hours on an i3.
No GPU acceleration, no massive memory overhead. Probably a lot faster with parallel computation on a better cpu, or even on a gpu.
4096 bits in 97-98 hours.
Verifiable. Not shitting you. My hearts beating out of my fucking chest. Maybe it was an act of god, I don't know, but it works.
What should I do with it?241 -
Sitting in a dorm, chilling..
My new roommate: So You study Computer Science?
Me: *Here it goes again*
Roommate: Can you fix my HDD? Something is wrong with it..
Me: No...
Roommate: But..
Me: No I study computer SCIENCE! Go ask yout physics professor to fix your fucking trebuchet, because he knows how that stuff works..
Roommate: *Silence*
God... That was my best reply in whole life... Someone should make a shirt of that...23 -
Wife: the neighbors brought their pc, it doesn't work.
Me: WTF did I say to you. I DON'T REPAIR ANYTHING NO PCS, PRINTERS, WASHMACHINES NOTHING TELL THEM TO GET THE FUCKING PC GODDAMIT ITS MY FREE DAY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.3 -
Please for the love of god name your variables in a sensible way! How the FUCK am I supposed to read your shitcode if you decide to write 6 (!!!) nested loops with variables each named by exactly one character. With no comments whatsoever!
I would rather crack password hashes than this nonsense.13 -
What If our Boss's read our Rants...
OH GOD NO!
But
What If they write there OWN rants about us?
Now im scared8 -
Oh God NO! Please tell me it is not normal for an Android app cumminacating with a rest API to send my login credentials in a fucking GET request!15
-
6:00 pm, no spirit to code,
11:00 pm, no spirit to code,
0:00 am, i might sleep in early tonight,
1:00 am, just one function,
2:00 am, I'm A God.1 -
Friend: I want to start competitive programming. What should I to ?
Me: You should know at least one programming language like C++ or java ...
Friend: No problem, I know HTML ....
Finally Me: Oh God save me..4 -
My family: Can you repair the printer ?
Me: No ...
My family: can't send my emails, fix it !
Me: No ...
My family: why this people can share my photos on Facebook ? Stop it now !
Me: Then stop sharing all your god damn life each time you eat, fart or go to the bathroom !!!! For fucks sake !
Also me: why have I started computer science ?2 -
Disclaimer: non dev related.
So I went to a festival today. What is the most stupid question you can ask at a festival?
And the winner is
And the winner is...
'why are you sweating?'
THE WHAT? ARE YOU FUCKING RETARDED?!?
DETAIL ONE: I'M AT A FUCKING FESTIVAL
DETAIL TWO: I'M DANCING MY ASS OFF
DETAIL TWO: EVERYONE IS MOTHERFUCKING FUCKING FUUUUUCK DANCING.
Mother of god, stupidity knows no fucking boundries 😲20 -
....
I give up trying to write this.
I'm just too fucking pissed off.
My interactions with my micromanager make absolutely no sense -- she is clearly just trying to piss me off and blame me for everything, facts and reasoning be damned.
I tried detailing this week's examples (there are lots, and it's fucking Tuesday), but. screw it.
Fuck working for (and with) her.
She's a bitchface and a thundercunt.
I'm updating my resume and fucking off out of here.
God fucking damnit i hate her.23 -
Juniors nowadays are so lazy.
J: How to do X?
M: Did you try google this?
J: No I thought you will give me a solution
Thanks God there will be no competition for me in the future...18 -
Fucking crunchyroll hardcodes their access tokens in a Constants Class in their APK, technically that is a security issue.
What the actual fuck Crunchyroll!? No fucking wonder you got DNS Hijacked so quick, security is literally your second priority you dumbed down twats, get some real devs and some real QAs for fucking god sakes, you're tearing down your own system by inviting exploits.8 -
[SO] Can you unload the dishwasher?
[Me] Of course.
*5 hours later*
[SO] Why is the dishwasher still not done ?
[Me] Why would it be ?
[SO] I asked you to unload it ....
[Me] No, you asked if I CAN do it, and I am able to do it, you didn't ask me to actually do it.
[SO thinking] God, why did I marry a fucking programmer.....12 -
Well, it all started off with hardware-level programming involving jumpers and stuff like that... Then came Assembly, which was good.. B, C compilers. Finally came the interpreted languages, and that's where in my opinion the abstraction should've ended. But no, we needed more frameworks, more libraries, even more abstraction! Where does it end? As it seems to be going, I guess that users will have kid toys - no iToys! - for electronics and we'll be programming on with bloated Scratch GUI's. Nothing against Scratch, but that shit ain't proper programming anymore. God I can't wait for the future.
ABSTRACT ALL THE THINGS!!!
Oh and not to mention that all software will be governed in political correctness by some Alex SJW AI shit that became sentient. Not a single programming term will be non-offensive anymore, no matter how hard you try to not offend anyone, or God forbid - don't care about it because you just want to make something that's readable, usable and working!! Terms, UI names for buttons, heck even icons! REMOVE IT BECAUSE IT OFFENDS SOMEONE THAT I DON'T EVEN KNOW JACK SHIT ABOUT!!!18 -
How I play mobile games:
-Try to hack it to get infinite $$$, God mode
-Success?
--Yes: play til bored or "finished" (they never finish)
--No: Uninstall
Is this efficiency optimization, maximizing utility, or cheating?14 -
My god people = shit...
“The *insert website here* isn’t working, I need you to fix it”
- Everything’s good on our end, it’s their end that needs to be checked.
“Why can’t you fix it...!?”
Oh... I don’t know, perhaps it’s because I don’t fucking work for them you cock munch!!
I don’t get paid enough to deal with stupid fucking people. Where the FUCK is your common sense?
I work for “X”, THAT means that if something is wrong with “Y”, I have NO control over it you cock breath having fuck stain.
That’s like ordering tacos from McDonald’s and getting pissed off because they look at your like your mother should have swollowed... NO SHIT!3 -
Friend brings over a Windows 8 all in one laptop.
Friend: Can you fix my laptop
Me: I'm a programmer
Friend: I thought you worked with computers.
Me: I do... but I'm not tech support
Friend: Please?
Me: (reluctantly) Fine.
*many hours later after attempting to get the PC to boot from a USB. WHY DOES THIS PC NOT HAVE A KEY TO ENTER THE GOD DAMNED BOOT MENU AND HAS NO BOOT ORDER SELECTION?????!*
Friend: Have you fixed it?
Me: No
Friend: You suck at computers
Me: ....
Never spoke to him again.8 -
Me: ooh my eyes hearts, I have to sleep now, I fix this tomorrow morning.
(go to sleep)
Inner Me: hey
Me: ...
Inner Me: pisst! wake up
Me: what?? leave me alone I'm tired
Inner Me: remember that issue you had?
Me: yes?
Inner Me: this is how you can solve it
Me: great thanks, I'll fix it later
Inner Me: no no you have to fix it now
Me: I'm tired, I'll fix it first thing in the morning
Inner Me: no no you'll forgot it
Me: no I won't, let me sleep
Inner Me: no no you'll forget and I won't tell you again
Me: look I write it down in my phone now leave me alone
Inner Me: no no you have to fix it now.
Me: *crying* for God sake...
(gets out of bed and try to turn on PC and it's not starting, realizing that the power is out)
Me: you happy now, I fix it tomorrow.
Inner Me: no no stay awake till power is back on.
Me: SHUT THE FICN ON PICK OF CRAPE. Did SHDUHDBD DBDJDB3 -
God virgin media are useless:
Me: “hello how long is left in my contract”
VM: “you have three months left, may I ask why”
Me: “this is now the 3rd day in two weeks I have had no broadband I’m looking to swap to someone more reliable”
VM: “ I’m sorry to hear that I’ll check our system to see what I can do for you”
2 mins on hold
VM: “hello mr day we can offer you a special offer of doubling your internet speed for only £5 a month”
Me: “how does that help with the fact I have no internet”
VM: “well it won’t but we have an engineer looking at the problem and we estimate it will be fixed by 17:05”
Me: “thanks but no thanks, what’s the early exit fee”
😡🤬😡8 -
Today I told my lead developer that I liked star wars episode 8.
I got grilled pretty hard.
Like, I can drop a db and the motherfucker ain't gon give a fuck. But God forbid a mofocka likes episode 8.
That is a big no no to him.
Manager had told me that I should keep that opinion of the movie to myself.
Lesson learned.13 -
One day Bill Gates died and met god. God said "Now then, Bill, i'll show you heaven and hell and you can choose which one you want to go to. Sound good?"
"Yeah!,"replies Gates. So god takes Gates to hell first. In hell he shows him pretty maidens, beautiful landscapes and an endless supply of pop tarts. "So you like it?"he asks him. "Yeah, it's great,"Gates replies.
So god takes him to heaven. In heaven he shows him quite pretty maidens, quite beautiful landscapes and a not quite endless supply of pop tarts. "So bill have you made your choice?" "Yes, God. i want to go to hell," "OK then." And Bill Gates is whisked away to hell.
But it is not the hell he saw before. Here there are no pretty maidens, no beautiful landscapes and no pop tarts. Instead there are all the most horrible things ever. "Aaaahhhh! Where am I!"asks Gates. "In hell,"replies god. "But it's not how it was before!"cries Gates. "Aahh. That was just the demo Bill."3 -
Just came from a one week holiday, only to come and see that zesty security and some other repositories are no longer supported on my 17.04 ubuntu...
Updating to 17.10 now..
Havent even booted up my windows laptop yet.. God please give me strength..19 -
potential new client, immediately says:
"we have to get this website to number 1 on google as fast as possible!!!!!"
god why is it always the same
i'm tempted to ask, "great, no problem, do you have thousands to spend?"
i already know what the answer is
🚩🤡🚩🤡🚩🤡🚩🤡🚩🤡🚩🤡🚩🤡🚩🤡🚩🤡🚩🤡🚩🤡11 -
god i hate this company's product.
Visit merchant-facing sandbox -> 404. works after a refresh.
Log into sandbox with admin account -> redirects to a different signin url -> 500s -> signin no longer works.
wheeeeee!11 -
Sometimes I should think twice before committing (Thank god there are no contributors beside me yet)7
-
For the love of God use descriptive variable names. I dont care if it is 15 characters long instead of 5. Besides any halfway modern IDE does auto completion.
"tTime" is not helpful. Target time? Test time? Total time? Tea time? Turtle Timmy? No clue...21 -
No, css is not evil, that God forsaken mother fucking useless piece of horse shit wanking ass fucking whore framework known as bootstrap is.12
-
I just experienced the opposite of rant.
I spent 1 entire day ranting about a algorithm I couldn't write with no issues, it occupied all my mind and got me pissed of.
And today, I rewrote it entirely, and it works perfectly everywhere.
I was like : "No it can't work here. Oh ok", "And here's the bug ! No ? Nice.", "Don't tell me it'll work here. I'm a God".
That's why I love being a dev :D
Thank you, you freaking problem I had !7 -
Worked for this client until 4 o'clock at night because they needed that to be done overnight.
For two weeks they are responding slowly like a turtle. No forecast of payment yet.
May God burn them in the worst part of the hell3 -
God damnit, I have this too often. Something works in my mind no matter how often I run through it again and again but I've got no clue how to test it for real which brings me into a "mental deadlock" state aaaand then I lose all my programming motivation at once.
Having this right now, fucking annoying.10 -
OMG! I fucking hate it when people who have no idea about technology whatsoever have a conversation about some 'technical stuff' and I've got to listen to trash like:
A: "It's a wonder that all of this stuff actually works!"
B: "Yeah, I heard that it all connects over some kind of WAVES or something like that..."
FFS! I know you can't know everything, but please for the love of god ... just don't!
- Currently sitting on the train and cringing like a madman -11 -
My friend and I have been debugging this server issue where the server can't find the input file.
30 minutes passed, we checked, restarted everything, still no avail.
When I saw his safari browser, THE FULL URL WASNT SHOWING. The server was working, we just didn't see a redirect behavior because of apple fucking trying to fucking prettify everything.
GOD DAMMIT.
/rant7 -
well this is a NO!
just jumped on a WordPress website and was wondering why it was taking so bloody long to load even on high-speed internet. only to view source and get hit with 240 lines of JavaScript includes and about 20 odd lines of content.
LIKE WTFFF!!!
There is no way on this fucking earth every single library is being used to show me a god fucking dam search result that returns absolutely nothing no matter what i search for.
To any wordpress "DEVS" out there FUCK YOU and your FUCKING plugin madness.
I would love to hear from a WP dev how you justify this kind of bullshit!10 -
"Einstein argued that there must be simplified explanations of nature, because God is not capricious or arbitrary. No such faith comforts the software engineer." - Fred Brooks2
-
You know what really grinds my gears?
When a manager writes up some bullshit "this doesn't work".
Then you waste your time following up, and they say, "oh yeah, this so and so pop up came up with validation error X".
YEAH? AND I'M SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT WHEN YOU WRITE ABSOLUTELY NO STEPS TO REPRODUCE, JUST COMING TO ME WITH "HEY, X IS BROKEN" GOD JUST GET FUCKING 1% TECHNICALLY LITERATE THATS ALL I ASK FOR I'M SO SICK OF YOUR SHIT2 -
Meeting with CEO went well I heard. Only thing he didn’t like that there was no permission level “worthy of leadership” (GUI options are view-only/worker/admin/super).
Keeping the existence of the the secret “god” permission to myself I proceeded to create the “executive authority” permission, which is an alias…
…for view-only. 🖕😘🖕5 -
bash.org, this website always cracks me up. Never gets old.
A few hilarious samples, if you will:
http://bash.org/?23601
<mage> what should I give sister for unzipping?
<Kevyn> Um. Ten bucks?
<mage> no I mean like, WinZip?
http://www.bash.org/?14258
<Sigurd> a sprite is anything not static
<SRElysian> a sprite is a variable object
<SRElysian> be it 2d or 3d
<TorMuck> a sprite is a fucking soda
<TorMuck> you god damn geekass bastards5 -
Let's do photorealism they said,
It'll look beautiful they said,
...
...
...
NO!
Fuck it, we're going with low poly. I'm not rendering one fucking tree, for three god damn hours!
(That's presuming that it doesn't crash during that period)
And yes I know it doesn't actually look that photorealistic, but hey, give me a break I just started. Plus I don't even wanna know how long it would take to render if it was done to look really fancy.13 -
Linkedin in my home country is a clown fiesta. I swear to god if I see just one more post about "unpaid internships" I'mma shoot the whole block I don't care anymore.
IF I WANTED TO WORK FOR FREE I'D BE DOING CHARITY FOR THOSE WHO NEED, NOT UNPAID WORK FOR THOSE WHO HAVE NO NEED2 -
!rant/story
I feel so great after switching from Windows 10 to (GNU/(REEE))Linux Kubuntu.
No annoying and redundant programs that are not quitable anymore.
It is like having a rooted phone. I am the god and not Microshit.
I am free. It feels so relaxing.
Sure, while setting this new system up, I broke a lot of things (even with years of preknowledge on linux servers), but I finally managed to finish it.19 -
God i love this site. Because its not a place to fix problems its not a place to share knowledge its not even just programmers hanging out and talking about their projects, no this site is as close as you can get to screaming into the void and still get sympathy
-
Open source...
Apple: F*** Open Source!!!! Money's our god!!!!
Google: Let's make MONEYYYYYY... and then give code
Microsoft: Ya... ok... yeah... no... sry but we have do to some money...
Linux: OPEN SOURCE FOR EVERYONE!!!!! IT'S FREE!!!!!! hey... guys... what ain't you coming, I'm lonely *Play "sound of silence"*7 -
God was able to create an entire world in just 6 days for the sole reason that he had no previous versions and no compatibility issues.🌍7
-
13 fucking USD in shipping for a 9 USD rubber duck? Fuck no.
Spend $2 a month and most likely forget I am now subscribing to devRant++? Yeah, sure. Why not, right?
Seriously though, thank God for this platform, I'm luckily not the only one with struggles..5 -
*Me after writing a piece of code and praying to god that there are no errors.*
My pc: 1 error(s) found.
Me : "I hate coding. I hate coding. I hate coding."
*Tries everything to solve that problem.*
My pc: No errors found.
Me: "I love coding.Yay xD"2 -
A while back I feel asleep on the couch on the day of the state of the union address.
My deadass mind heard someone asking what the "state of the unit tests" was and I leaped up and said "there aren't any! i'm sorry, it's only a small project anyway".
Thank god no one else was there... 😂 -
Same days you just need a duck.
Me: map.get(record.Id)
Code: null
Me: no, map.get(record.id)
Code: null
Me: let's grab this record from the map
Code: null
Me: what the flying fuck, take this fucking ID from this fucking RECORD and find it in THIS god forsaken map.
Code: null
Me:.......
Code: 😉
Duck: did it occur to you the ID exists only AFTER the map is created.
Me: you fucking wha..... oh I'm a dick head.7 -
New country, new company, new team, new projects.
I'm supposed to be the TL of a team working on a React project.
A guy in his late 40s celebrates himself as "the senior", he basically just finished watching a youtube thing, React 101 crash course or similar. The other two juniors who did only Wordpress so far venerate him like a god.
The code, of course, is one on the finest pieces of crap I ever had the pleasure to deal with in my life: naturally a bunch of JQuery plugins for everything, no tests, no state management, side effects everywhere, shared state and globals like hell, everything written in ES3/ES5 style, no types, no docs, build and deploy totally manual, deep props drilling at every level... and not to mention the console.log() shipped in prod.
First day, already headache.
Full rewrite start tomorrow.
Hiring real devs as well.4 -
Css was developed by monkeys. I fucking hate how there is no organisation, laying out stuff requires too much work, there are billions of ways to do something. Aligning things in css actually has a web page dedicated to that, seriously, what the fuck????? I love doing backend and creating rest apis but for the love of god i cant stand css and front end in general🤦🤦🤦8
-
Postman needs to learn it's god damned place.
No, I will never sign up for an account you god damn crappy wrapper for curl written in electron. Stop giving me banner ads. Fuck SO FAR off.14 -
Well, it finally happened.
After 25 years coding in all types of languages and environments, I’m no longer having fun.
It now seems like it’s a fight to get interested in the code. I used to be something that I would spend hours / days doing. Now I just want to walk away from the code.
Is it true (do you think) that after a while all you see is a for loop, an if statement, a null check and you just think to yourself. Fuck this! Because I think I’m there.
God it’s depressing to think that I no longer find it fun.4 -
Absolutely hate these "moving up", "stairs of success", "we are so diverse!" stock photos all over the internet.
You feel like you are being subtle, fuck no. Unless your target audience is stupid as as fuck, this photos looks dumb and over the top. And what is up with this "diversity" all over the place? don't get me wrong, I am all for diversity. But learn how to apply it properly.
"Looks like we need a picture of a student. Oh no, we need to be diverse. Add 15 kids of 15 different ethincity in the same picture to make sure we looks diverse. Phew!"
And the animations. Holy fucking shite. Why is it that a cheap website immediatly means that your website needs to have 100 different animation in the front page.
Seriously, picture rolling from here and there. Text coming out of nowhere.Everything being squeezed and rotated. God damn it!
This is another reason I fucking hate these 1 click websites and shite like that. This fucking website was created with WiX and my God, it's a fucking nightmare.
Good news is client is recreating the website.3 -
I've seen many devs doing crazy things in my entire career till now. But this one dude stands out.
He used to:
- Push binaries to git repo
- Use some old libraries which were used during Indus Valley civilization
- Had no sense of database and used to delete random data from it and call it as TESTING (Thank God! I never gave him prod access)
- And on top of this, he had an ass full of attitude!2 -
Google a problem
Click on first link that details the exact problem I'm looking for. This guy has exactly the same problem as me.
First answer is "Oh my god just google it". There are no other answers.
Go back to google. The entire first page is jackwagons just telling people to google it.
God damn it, I am googling it.5 -
Some honest to God declarations are in place here! Hope no new js frameworks get added before this rant is seen.5
-
Boss : Did you finish the service app?
Me: Nope, sir you told us to complete the immediate relief website.
Boss: Ok. Did u complete that?
Me: Nope, when it was half you told us to complete the clients web app?
Boss: Oh god. So is that over?
Me: Unfortunately, no sir a month more and we can present the project estimation report if we are free😁😉2 -
Mystery of the day: why some developers can't decide on a code style. Let's count:
- two types of brace placements
- three types of assignment spacing (with, without spaces, and aligned with extra space)
- two types of clause spacing
- mixed case in the first char of a variable for no apparent reason(?)
- bonus: unneeded parentheses
At least in ONE thing the person was consistent: no space between parameters!
WHY GOD.13 -
My nipples are hard, as hard as diamond. For no fucking reason at all.
But aside from that important update, does anyone just get this absolute light-headed euphoria whenever they realize they've fixed a bug?
Like my god, its the best feeling. I've only fixed other people's bugs a few time, and even then I experienced it.13 -
Writing some algorithm:
me: *codes for half an hour*
"hmm... isn't working... wait wtf this isn't right..."
me: *codes for an hour again*
"still not working hmmm... wait what no this isn't supposed to work..."
me: *codes for a few hours*
"still not working God damnit.... it's supposed to work now..."
me after another few hours: MOTHERFUCKER CAN YOU START FCKING WORKING FUUUUUUUUUUU1 -
Must fun was definitely when I programmed the automated installing tool to make my life easier at my old work.
Imagine having to install about 30+ PC's in an period of 2 days and that repeating at least 1-2 times a week...Having standard programms to install like acrobat pro and more...
Just deployed needed software on the net. wrote a ghost installer programm and let him deploy the software for me. No continue smashing anymore. God bless that idea I had.7 -
hey customers, maybe if you could learn how to READ THE LITERAL INFORMATION PAGE you wouldn't have to take the time to send me stupid emails because you are a dumb incompetetant fuck
GOD
going to quit trying very soon
no one else does, why should i4 -
WHY???
WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU SO FUCKING SURPRISED SHIT HITS THE FAN EVERY GOD DAMN TIME A CHANGE IS MADE IN YOUR LIMPING SYSTEM?
YOU GAVE NO FUCKING SPECIFICATIONS NOR ANY CARE TO DECIDE ABOUT WHAT THE FUCK YOU WANT IN IT.
EVERY TIME I SEE THE CODE I GET EYE CANCER, DEBUGGING THIS SHIT IS AS HARD AS FINDING THE FATHER IN A HOBO STREET ORGY
AND YOU FUCKING THINK ADDING FEATURES INTO THE SYSTEM UNDER THESE CIRCUMSTANCES IS SO GOD DAMN EASY.
I hope life's god damn dandy for you, get fucked with a pipe bomb.
Oh, hello DevRant, sorry for sitting on the fence for the past months.4 -
Thank god there are no Community Moderators on devRant... I just fucking have StackOverflow/Quora, they just don't let a newbie rise on those platforms... I love this place though.6
-
For god fucking sake, PulseAudio, write a usable fucking documentation for your library and remove idiotic silent exit(1) calls and properly log what the fucking issue was
I'm tired of debugging this piece of bull shit for over a month now already while the pulse library occasionally crashes for no apparent reason29 -
God, the iPhone 11 pro's triple cameras ARE SO UGLY. OnePlus 7 has three back cameras and it's not ugly, so it can be done! It's just so, so fucking ugly. It looks like where you might plug in a high voltage power cable or something. And of course it still has a notch. That's two design failures in one expensive phone. No thanks!
(From owner of iPad Pro - not an Apple hater!)3 -
Being a programmer in a scientific discipline can be infuriating.
using "no one" ="almost no one"
using everyone = "almost everyone"
1. No one knows what even the very idea of good practice is. And everyone refuses to learn. 3k lines of repetitive copy pasted main. 500 lines of plotting method.
2. Raw C-style pointer based array creation. Won't use develope array libraries because what if development stops. FUCKING HAVE YOU SEEN YOUR CODE WHAT IF DEVELOPMENT ON YOUR CODE STOPS. FUCK.
3. LOOP VARIABLES DECLARED AT THE BEGINNING OF THE METHOD WHY.
4. Everyone wants to make modular, independent code. No one wants to use OOP. NOPE. ALL IN ONE FILE. WRITE C++ LIKE A FUCKING PYTHON NOTEBOOK. FUCK.
5. LIBRARIES OH MY GOD PLEASE DO NOT CODE UP YOUR MATRIX MULTIPLICATION. PLEASE DO NOT TRIPLE LOOP IT. NO. THE LINEAR ALGEBRA LIBRARY WILL STAY IN DEVELOPMENT.
6. Please realize that literally not one comment over an 1800 line file does not help anyone.
FUCKING. WHY. WHY ARE WE SCIENTISTS SO GOOD AT SCIENCE AND SO FUCKING SHIT AT THE CODE THAT MAKES OUR SCIENCE HAPPEN. WHY. FUCKING. WHY. FUCK.undefined rage no comments scientific computing fuck this shit wall of text bad code science fuck c++ fucking4 -
For the passed couple of years I've struggled with depression. This passed year has been so much better. I found a career path I enjoy, I learned a lot about myself, and I got a full time job.
I live with my grandparents and God bless their souls but I really want to move out. This realization really came last week when they left for a vacation and left me home alone. I've already lived away from home, volunteer work, internships. But now that I'm back home I'm bored, I have no responsibilities. I should also mention that I can't be myself around them, partly because I no longer believe in their God and partly because there never really was any transition between child and adult.
I talked it over with some older friends and they agreed that I should move out and offered some regally good advice.
I'm gonna wait until they get back and attempt to talk about it with them. I mean it's more of me telling them I'm moving out they can't really stop me at this point.
Anyway just wanted to get this off my chest. Hope you have a wonderful day.1 -
Pretty fucking sure it’s Monday... Critical Server KO’ed during hours... Going to be a long day....
Sucks not having the funds to implement preventative maintenance and redundancy... Thank god for fucking backups.
To the Level C’s in our company.... take this as a wake up call you incompetent, undereducated, no dick-having-ass’, spitfucks!4 -
The god damned education system in my country is completely fucked up. They teach TurboC++ in the name of programming, something that is no use in this world. This 80s ide is no use but it's compulsory to use turbo. Microsoft has fuckin removed support for 16 bit but they the syllabus won't change. I sent the concerned authorities an email about this but radio silence. This is too damn irritating.10
-
Oh my fucking god people are stupid, or ignorant, or fucking both.
How hard is it to copy a password from an email and paste that fucker in and press login.
Seriously several times of “this is your email” and “THIS” is your god dam fucking password.
God kill me now.
(No the password isn’t stored in plaintext, I reset it myself before sending it to the user)1 -
NO. FUCKIN. THANKS. LIKE GOD.
I can't use a SINGLE google service without Google trying to push its shit down my throat.15 -
Fuck this completely abysmal CMS!!!!
Not even god damn Einstein would be smart enough to understand this stinky pile of legacy code!
No, it's not enough to write an HTML template in PHP with less than 500 lines of code, noooooo, every god damn template HAS TO BE AT LEAST 3000 FUCKING LINES OF CODE WITH RANDOM INCLUDES EVERYWHERE!!!
Every fucking thing I fix spawns at least 2 new bugs! I FUCKING CAN'T!!!
I swear, if I meet these fucking worms of developers... someone will eat fresh turds mixed with puke from a highway toilet!17 -
God I fucking hate WordPress
Today I found out a single WooCommerce site is using 20% of database CPU (for comparison, 50 other sites use only 10% between them). Upon investigation it turns out that WooCommerce loads every single product in order to do the taxonomy count. Because the data is stored as PHP-serialised values in post meta, there's no way to do a decent "SELECT count() ... GROUP BY ...". And that code came straight from the WordPress devs, no more and no less...8 -
Day 2 in ComSci class (following my last rant)
"Okay, so! All of the schoolwork and homework will be done on paper and pen, submit and I will grade it. Only once, no second chance"
Okay. Okay. This went over my head. What are you gonna do? OCR the code into the compiler, compile it and run to see if we fucked up to give us an F? What are you, god? Here's a brilliant idea, teach them Assembly! Guaranteed error to give us Fs! FUCK YOU3 -
Social Media. I have had the same message for 16 years from Linkedin ‘4 people visited your profile’. I still don’t give a fuck. Got a twitter account shortly after it launched, I still think it’s totally pointless. Recently looked at Instagram as everyone keeps asking me for it. There is no point to that either. It’s all fucking pointless and just a way to pretend you have a superior life to other sad mother fuckers. God I hate social fucking media!7
-
Someone else disturbing me while I'm thinking about technicalities. Makes me lose my shit because recollecting everything afterwards is often more difficult than the problem itself.
Note to self: tell cleaning lady to keep disturbances to a minimum when I'm working, and turn notifications on the Fandroids off before starting work. No I'm not interested in that Telegram message right now. And God bless OnePlus for putting in a physical slider for that.. more phone manufacturers should start doing this.4 -
It's both extremely satisfying and extremely rage-inducing when you learn that an update in the framework breaks your once perfectly functional code for no reason.
Especially when said code is from a sample written by the developers themselves.
Thank god there was a hotfix. -
For the Nth time in a row now, the team has met...
...with no agenda...
...with no note-taking...
...with no off-topic course correction...
...and has gone almost an hour over time.
Please stop doing this oh my god, we're wasting time and nobody has a fucking source when two months later somebody asks when/why this was decided and our only answer is "uh we agreed at some point" and we do this all over again.1 -
God damn I had a nice dream last night... Linux had a 100% OS market share.. and there was only one package manager and only one build system.. There was no such thing as cross platform, because there was only one platform. Everything was so easy.
Then I woke up. Fuck.4 -
Learning JS frameworks is like:
Oh my god it's 2016, no one uses jQuery anymore.
Angular is so 2015.
Here, use these 25 super cool libs instead.11 -
no fucking documentation
no fucking explaination
and your example doesn't even work
let's just run around in circles until we all die
waiting to exit this 🤡 world
yeah, i know, everyone is like "why can't you chill more"
because this what we are stuck doing 8-9 hour a day!!!!!! this is literally our lives just wasting away!!!! and it's not even fun anymore; you can't enjoy it if everyone is so fucking incompetant any step at being productive is fucking battle
god so sick of it4 -
My previous boss has bad habit of relieving employees. He find out his links in a employee
s new company and then god knows what he did with that.
For, that reason I did not mention my current company when I switch but today I tried to find out those people who left before me it was shocking that no one updated their current company.
Creepiness of the former boss was real. Everyone was scared. -
Oh my God I fucking hate humidity
I've been without power for over 40 hours now. It's no big deal, but the fucking humidity makes it so fucking hot on my house and every fucking building.
It's about a nice and cool 70° f outside, but I'm still drenched in fucking sweat. Hopefully the power will be on soon.1 -
Random guy: Hey you're from Mexico ! Let's party and drink Tequila, let's go for Mamacitas !!!
Me: no, I have to work!
Random guy: come on you Mexicans don't work, and always wears a Zarape !
Me: Come on man ! It's fucking 21th century !!! You can't think that way ! I don't fucking wear a Zarape, I don't like Tequila and for the love of God is so wrong to call women "Mamacitas"2 -
I am the only developer for a nationwide company. Everyone else in this company has no idea about IT, from the owner down.
I have about a year of actual IT experience, so God knows how I got this role.
Fellow developers, especially .NET developers, how do you estimate the time required to complete tasks set by none technical people?9 -
I was working late one day and a "dumb" co-worker and another co-worker who work later than me were both there. "Dumb" co-worker was a few feet from me and the other co-worker didn't know I was working late that day. So she comes out of the break room and says "Oh, Team Manager, you're still here?"
I jokingly say "No, I left!"
Honest to god, "dumb" co-worker jumps out of her seat and says "HE'S LYING, HE'S STILL HERE."4 -
No better feeling than being able to debug something with your own scripting language... Kind of makes you feel like a god!
Even better when you debug your own scripts with it :-D2 -
Newscaster on Tv:
"Apple won patent case against Samaung"
Me:
"Thank God! Apple doesn't have Wheel patent or there would be no Ford or Mercedes ... "2 -
FUCKING SHITTY PHP WITH NO FUCKING COMMENTS AND A JOKE OF A DOCUMENTATION WELL I DON'T FUCKING KNOW WHY THAT BUGS HAPPENING NONE OF THIS CODE MAKES SENSE AND IT APPEARS TO BE HELD TOGETHER BY DUCT TAPE AND PRAYERS AND IM GONNA LOSE MY MIND IF I SEE ONE MORE FUCKING 200 LINE FUNCTION WITH A NAME LIKE 'transformData' WHAT THE HOLY FUCK DOES IT DO I SWEAR TO GOD THIS CODEBASE NEEDS TO BE FIREBOMBED10
-
This god damn unknown company reported my websites' Facebook page is violating some intellectual property. Facebook report says I must contact the reporting party to get this resolved but there were no contact details specified!! I searched on Google and Facebook om how to contact Facebook but no luck.
How the fuck can I get this resolved if I don't know who reported this? Does anybody here know how the fuck I can contact Facebook?? If you do then please let me know!3 -
Oh my fucking God, the non dev we have on our team has no indentation or syntax filter whatsoever. I wouldn't be surprised if she has an unmatched or unclosed bracket somewhere. I'm gonna have to go in there and clean that shit up.6
-
Medieval torture devices got nothin' on Angular.
The Rack? Ha, good times!
Brazen Bull? Happily!
Iron Maiden? Yes, please!
Pear of Anguish? Funny name, I'll take it!
But Angular?!
PLEASE GOD, NO! HAVE MERCY ON MY SOUL!4 -
Next 30 days : no linux, no developing,no designing... only scratching pens on stupid assignments and licking teachers asses for marks. I hate college exams ;___;12
-
Boss: We should port our internal finite element analysis software to an app. We could use phonegap!
Me: Sure... We'll look into that.
My mind: Nope. No. Never. Dear God. Why. Happy thoughts. Happy thoughts...2 -
Great, I'm in the zone.
Typing like there's no tommorow.
The logic is flawless, design patterns and exception throwing everywhere
It's going to be gre.... DUN.
OH GOD A BSOD.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME.
Breath slowly... Just restart the machine...
PLEASE WAIT WHILE WINDOWS INSTALLS THE UPDATES
(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻2 -
we had a front-end dev that needs to "re-architecure" his codes when we need to add a small change or a feature.
and im like: wtf is wrong with your code and you need to re-architect it every damn time?!
PS: that dev is no longer with us now. thank god.1 -
Windows is a god damn abomination of a OS. Fucking let me download that one game from the shitty developers that add EAC for no reason. Fucking stop hogging every resource and let steam work. Fucking stop crashing like wtf how is this considered stable. Stop fucking downloading updates. You amount to nothing than playing games made by cunts. There is no valuable information on this system and I have no problems nuking it all.11
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I think God is a developer. I have to say a most impressive feat, even for God, is the idiot algorithm. It has persisted through millennia of attempts to remove it, but it just keeps refining itself. While it's incredibly brief, its functions are yet to find an environment in which they cannot operate. It's full adaptable to any task, impressively modular, and self replicating.
No matter how what problem you present it with the idiot algorithm can always find a solution. It never leaves well enough alone. It can even give you an answer before everything is fully processed!4 -
Oh god! Why did I change to Ubuntu!!! This machine is running hotter and slower!!! Battery drains faster than ever!
There's no going back to windows 10... looking back, I love windows 10 despite its faults :')
Did anyone else experience the same? First thing I'm doing in the morning is install arch linux10 -
Every fucking day I'm asked some fucking stupid question that could have been easily figured if this fucker took 2 mins to look.
"Hey why isn't the issue closed with your commit message? Is it because the CI fail?"
No you dipshit. It's because it hasn't been merged into the master branch. And no the CI didn't fail. If you took 20 seconds to actually look into the pull request you'll see it passed.
God why? -
Ok so you're a pretty good programmer. You don't take time to grasp stuff, but then we all know there are times when we all fail to understand certain things. But why does that 'making a fool out of yourself' incident HAVE to happen when your colleagues are around?
Scene 1:
Coding alone, no bugs at all. Perfectly optimized code. Runs with no compile-time errors or warnings.
Scene 2 :
Typing code. Colleague enters my cabin. Before even I execute it, finds 300 compile-time errors. All of them happen to be true
Judged for life..
Why, oh programmer god, why?2 -
A column of some Soviet newspaper. Top to bottom:
The Atheist’s Page
“The oldest profession”
(Ukrainian tale)
Three people argued over whose profession was the oldest. One of them said:
— Surgeons: without them, god wouldn’t have pulled Adam’s rib out to make Eve.
— Engineers, — the other one interrupted him. — Without them, god wouldn’t have made light.
The third one thought for a while and said:
— No, mine’s older: in the beginning there was darkness, and who spreads darkness? I do!
The third one was a priest.1 -
Caller: Hi, I work with Google. Can I talk to the decision maker of [your company]?
Me: I am. (Ho, my god, this is finally happening, I'm the chosen one!)
Caller: Would you like to improve your visibility on Google by ...
Me cutting short: Thanks but I'm not interested.
*Click*
To myself: Raaah, me too I work "with" Google!
(no my phone doesn't do *click*, it does *bee doooom*, but well)1 -
If you want it and there's no better alternative, make it.
This is what has driven me for the past few years as I've fallen hopelessly in love with programming. I'm my own creator; my own God, if you will. -
i know i sound like a broken record...
but 100$ a year to have the prestigious privilege to develop for iOS, granted by the god emperor Jobs himself....
and no fucking proper output logs during build-time....
100$ a year... professional software...
https://youtube.com/watch/...1 -
Oh my god. I woke up and read stan lee was rushed to the hospital. I was actually feeling horribly sad and then I read that he was in stable condition and was like heck yeah!!! No one taking him yet.
-
Since roughly 1 year ago I have been making "leftoff" comments in my code, whenever a work day ended or so, with a few notes on what I was doing and what I was about to work on next.
And I recommend it, I think that's good practice. Because I forgot to do it on friday and I have no GOD DAMN CLUE what I was working on :|3 -
> develops a long form with reactive input boxes that shows wether the data inserted follows the correct format
> client goes "ok now make it a WhatsApp chat"
> "A WhatsApp chat?"
> "Yeah like you ask the questions of the form with the chat and the customer needs to answer through WhatsApp messages, just copy and paste everything you've already done in the browser"
I swear to god, some people have no fucking clue how development works2 -
I honestly have no problems with UI designers, I really don't and actually respect the work they do..
But god dammit, those fucktards should try designing the UI with actual code rather than photoshop or whatever they use these days..9 -
>Be a customer
>Ask to reduce number of servers you rent at our company
>Agree to a date when the one server you no longer needs will be due to be disconnected and taken apart
>Date comes
>I have the honors of sending the final /sbin/poweroff
>All goes neatly... until...
The web that used to be there, now moved to another one of their machines, goes down, wtf???
Oh. a 500. What?
Checks logs...
Cannot connect to Database.
Wtf? Local database works... Oh. OH. OH MY GOD.
>Turn the server back on and tell the customer to fix the app to no longer connect to that machine
Sometimes, being a sysadmin can be a real fun!1 -
Interviewer: Here's a marker, diagram how you would implement a time management system to track user work.
Me: [draws out complex system to track user work via heartbeat]
Interviewer: God, no.. something more simple like a time clock.
[sigh] -
"Hey I have problems - can you help me?"
"Hi. What are they?"
"God! Geez... I was just asking for help. No one ever helps me never mind."2 -
Working with javascript with java experience is like 'really? you can summon the method from no where and you have one and only god var? ' I'm feeling so insecure.1
-
yeah I am a software engineer.
yea I am a programmer too.
yeah I am behind my laptop all the time..
but no I don't want to fix your computer.
I have no interest in changing your windows, installing antivirus on your pc and so on..
just understand it , God damn these shit people :( -
Oh god.... no.... Why.... Looks like they gonna dumb down the ux and force defaults... Less customizable.... Like Apple...
Can I NOT upgrade....22 -
We had only one product UX designer in our team.
She quit and I habe accelerated my job hunt.
And when I quit too, the tech team will collapse with both of us gone.
Because then there will be no product manager and no designer, only tech who is arrogant and cocky to even built a simple button to refresh the fucking page.
God bless with this fucking tech team. The Tech Senior leadership is shit. They deserve it, but for now, it's us who are facing challanges.2 -
Swift 1 and 2 were really pain in the ass!! You had to write God damn completed word of each statement. Eg : "presentViewController" is now "present" in Swift 3. Or that fucking "NS" in every object :)))
Thanks God! Thanks Apple! No more bull shit keyword!2 -
I think this is the first time ever on my team where I read someone else's source code and actually went "wow... This is pretty well written and structured". No god methods or classes.
-
I can fucking believe this is still the norm.
Micro selection borders for window / panel
sizing are the worst, please for the love of
god, MAKE THEM THICCer.
No need to make them visually wider,
just let me select it more easily, PLEASE.4 -
Taking over development of a system from some other guy who just straight up dropped it with zero documentation. The code looks like he wrote it after watching some getting started tutorial. There is no structure. Some methods and statements are just empty. And he spelt 'connection' three different ways in the same file.
God help me...1 -
**Attention @johnmelodyme and all AltRant testers**
I just pushed a quick bugfix update to AltRant, in the hope that it will fix the crashes that were reported. I felt like the app's dodgy situation wasn't up to my standard of quality so I worked as fast as I could to fix the issues, as people are actually starting to prefer my app over the original. Please make sure to perform a full reinstall of the app before continuing, because I actually wasn't experiencing the issues described in my initial testing before releasing the update that needed fixing.31 -
First-time goona work on frontend(my worst nightmare).
That too Angular.
That too on a file containing 900 LOC.
That too with no proper naming, variable names x,e, obj.
That too with no comment.
Cant take help as I am the lead(name-sake, small team, I have 6month more experience than others)
I have 2 days(thank god for the weekends).
Fuck...Fuck...I missed writing CLI apps.7 -
Some days it feels like visual studio is conspiring to break my sanity.
Compile.... 5 errors
Clean & recompile .... 12 errors
Open file that contains the errors
Error report clears all errors ...
Compile .... 12 errors .... But still bloody runs
Stop program .... No errors
Grrrr
Compile .... No errors
For god sake .... Which is it ... Do I have errors or not FFS3 -
Marketing tech of over 25 years in this company asks this at least 2 - 3 times a year, "to find the percentage, take the small number and divide by the big number right?"
NO. NO. NO. NOOO! NOOOOOO! God dammit. You're a grown man. -
GOD I FUCKING HATE UNITY AND FUCKING C# SO MUCH
EVERY TIME I TRY TO MAKE IT DO WHAT I FUCKING WANT IT TO IT'S LIKE "mmmmmm nah lmao" LIKE FUCK WHY CAN'T YOU JUST FOLLOW FUCKING 3 LINES OF CODE NO MATTER HOW I PUT THEM OR ORDER THEM YOU BRAINDEAD FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT PROGRAM4 -
there's a shit game from 2004 i can't play because of StarFORCE DRM and by god i'm gonna crack it, copyright laws and shit can suck my fucking cock no copies work anymore3
-
"God we've got an awful lot of technical debt, there's no process for anything here, no one knows how to use it, how it works or what even what it really does. Should we try to spend some time documenting and fixing that since this problem is going to keep cropping up again and again and the guy who wrote it left 2 years ago"
"Nah, the execs want features, fuck the fact that we are constantly struggling to meet deadlines due to being horrendously understaffed and everything takes 3 times as long as it should due our crippling technical debt. Lets keep hacking away with our old rusty saw instead of taking 10 mins to sharpen it"5 -
"Yes, that's possible."
Translation: "I don't want to look like a fucking complete yoghurt, but I have no idea how I even tied my own laces this morning - so god only knows if this is possible" -
OMG... I want to thank my mother for changing my diapers for many years, my brother for all the games he no longer plays, my wife for actually making money, my plant for the awesome smell, God for maybe doing something (I guess), thanks @dfox, @trogus, and each one of you guys that deemed my rants worthy of your ++.1
-
God damn it! I have multiple exams that I need to study for, but can't because of my headache that I have had for two weeks now... My mom finally forced me to the doctor, and apparently I have gotten a severe case of migraine... no devices, no books and no lights allowed until it gets better.
Worst part? The exams are next week, and I havent been able to study, not even one page out of hundreds...
Guess who's retaking them this summer... döda mig 😞
Signing off from all tech now until it gets better..4 -
My "senior developer" colleague just committed 300Mbs worth of node modules in addition to static files bundle. So not only I have to wait 20mins for the changeset to download on this god damned internet over barrels connection but also resolve merge conflicts on 100+ files. You think that was a mistake? Oh no I've asked him about it and it was intentional ...1
-
Oh God, how I hate a new windows laptop.
The machine just stutter for simple things. I literally spent almost two hours to download a 2 gigs .iso file.
With my speed test as normal as it always was with my previous and slower machine.
The worst part is to install another os.
I struggled to find an option in BIOS to disable Intel's RST. Which was a no no because Ubuntu couldn't understand it's config.
There's an app that comes pre installed to manage these settings. And the sucker didn't have any option to disable. Why? Because It's deprecated!
I spent 5 hours to understand that l needed to access the machine BIOS and activate a hidden option (did you think the option was right there huh?) in order to remove Intel RST.
Oh God how I hate tech monopoly.
Now my machine can breath without shitloads of unused apps and garbage "file checkers" and "anti viruses" that comes pre installed.
And things download super fast without any struggles.9 -
thank god, Microsoft decided not to use lignite coal for updating their OS. I was worried to update windows, it used to cause so much smog in the neighbourhood, one uncle even died because of lead poisioning.
now, I can update Windows in peace, no more pollution.9 -
I some time's feel stupid when my Ubuntu start acting up on prod, purge this and that ,fuck apache can't start system CTL that ps ax grep in the p#$#@* , damn apt install nginx full good, mysql can't start too ,OK apt install mariadb-client else percona && apt postgresql thanks ,god no client noticed ..3
-
Oh thank god!
Had an error in my COSMOS project and had no clue what was happening, so apparently cosmos allows you to cast using an interface when declaring variables and comparing yet it doesn't let you cast with an interface when trying to execute a function... The fuck?4 -
Started a new job this week, picking up the front end development of a property management system, since they're old developer just left.
Oh my god was his code bad, inconsistent use of js versions e.g only sometimes using lambda for anonymous functions, variable names that were a single letter, no comments, no documentation, and over 30000 lines split into almost 30 js files, following the logic of it is as fun as a hedge maze with no exit.2 -
How can you bring in a PBX device with no manual at all and the settings are all in Chinese and expect me to be a God and configure it?2
-
Struggling to debug a test which prints out like 400-500 lines of logs in console and I can't find any of those to be useful.
Me while debugging with DevRant ..
Is this the end of my life!!!!
Even without a wife..
I should start collecting some bucks,
And buy some ducks,
The devDucks,
To accompany me through the mist of the unknown console logs,
Playing treasure hunt,
Performing stunt,
And find out the hidden treasure behind this mist2 -
"=$B1*INDEX(A:A,ROW())"
See this absolute bullshit right here?
This fucking cunt of a problem designed by some dippity-do finger-painting fucking jackass at google doesn't work why?
Because for some *god damn reason* they decided it would be a good idea to setup it up in a way that when you use absolute cell references in a formula, you can't use functions in the formula too. No the other side has to be a literal or cell reference apparently.
Motherfuckers.3 -
Dear windows.
HI! IT'S ME! ETHAN!!
Why do you take TWO FUCKING HOURS!! To install a god damn UPDATE????
Your update system makes NO DARN SENSE.
Sincerely, Ethan.13 -
Recruiter bot just emailed me with some offers, let's take a look...
"Hand-on Experience with SQL and NO-SQL Databases preferably Redux"
Whew! I was worried for a second, thank god they are using a Redux database and not one of those really crappy React databases! I'll really consider applying now.
smh2 -
Made a website and 4K final for university in 10 days with Angular, FastAPI, ArangoDB and docker. No prior experience with Typescript whatsoever. Sessions, User Management, data manipulation and a d3-force graph which doesn’t dance around like a fucking clown. I feel like a fucking god right now8
-
Finally got the last round of god awful bugs in this god awful shit code fixed. I thought I could finally get back to working on the new build, but no. My reward is updating a god damn pdf, because none of the fucktards here know how. I have to work backwards through all kinds of pointless bullshit code that apparently generates it, all to find a mother fucking image that just needs to be replaced. Thanks a lot, to the tryhard motherfucker who wrote this code. I hope wherever you are, you're in complete agony.2
-
Spent 2 hours today doing L1 support work!!! God i hate working with lazy people!!!
2 hours wasted checking for an application bug on all deployed client pcs when the only issue is the printer has no fucking paper!!!
L1 and L2 support exists for these kind of issues!! Do your god damn jobs!!! -
I swear to god if I spend more money on headphones this year. This time it was my dog that snapped the cord off. I think I will just start using bluetooth headphones now, but if there is no cord I might drop them a lot and they are expensive Oh my god jesus christ fuck me fuckfuckfuckfuckfuuuuuuck1
-
Boss hired a freelancer to work on a new reporting dashboard. Freelancer also built a backed. Boss wants me to work on fixing that backend. I check out the DB first only to find plaintext passwords. I threw up a little.2
-
Dear Docker for Windows I know you exist to make devs on Windows life easier. But DEAR GOD, with all the firewall/group policy problems..you have been the pain of my existence during this short time developing on Windows.
Literally have a countdown on the time left until I get to no longer do a rain dance for my development environment to work.2 -
I'm currently working nights, away from home, and have no time for programming. God I miss programming... So much.2
-
god damn it No-IP, I've opted out of these email lists 10 fucking times already. this shit is so annoying.2
-
No Facebook for three weeks and haven't felt any need to check.
#DeleteFacebook.
Honestly, I didn't use it heavily but needed a motivation to leave it. So I take this as God sign to leave it.1 -
nextjs is cancer framework. Shit so muddied together u cant maintain this shit. Random errors u have no idea where they coming from. Oh my God the hydration and useContext errors! Fuck them. Fuck nextjs4
-
I kinda missed the continuous struggle around the r8169 driver and Nvidia drivers. Thank god the Arch ISO has this problem too.
These two companies should be fined out of existence, there's no reason not to open source the driver, and this renders the product useless.4 -
After God created man what did He do?
“So God created Man in His own image.
In the image of God He created them.
Then God blessed them. . ,”
Genesis 1:27–28.
I love the blessing that Aaron pronounced on the Israelites:
“The Lord bless you and keep you;
the Lord make His face shine upon you, and be gracious to you;
the Lord turn His face toward you and give you peace,”
Numbers 6:24–26.
Years ago I ran across a piece that is based on a true story about when the court system made a decision about a school in Washington, IL. The valedictorian had gone to the ACLU for help and the ruling was that they could not have an invocation and benediction during graduation.
This ruling came down just three days before graduation.
I want to share this story with you because this it illustrates how the power of words is almost physically felt. I’ve included it here so you can see how it makes you feel.
They walked in tandem, each of the ninety-two students filing into the already crowded auditorium. With their rich maroon gowns flowing and the traditional caps, they looked almost as grown up as they felt.
Dads swallowed hard behind broad smiles, and Moms freely brushed away tears.
This class would NOT pray during the commencements, not by choice, but because of a recent court ruling prohibiting it.
The principal and several students were careful to stay within the guidelines (https://mcessay.com/research-papers...) allowed by the ruling.
They gave inspirational and challenging speeches, but no one mentioned divine guidance and no one asked for blessings on the graduates or their families.
The speeches were nice, but they were routine until the final speech received a standing ovation.
When Ryan Brown walked proudly to the microphone he quietly protested when he briefly stopped and bowed in silent prayer.
At this point the audience began to stand and applaud. He replied to the crowd, “Don’t applaud for me, applaud for God.”
When he reached the microphone he stood still and silent for just a moment, and then, it happened.
He faked a sneeze!
As planned, almost the entire class yelled,
‘GOD BLESS YOU’
As he walked off the stage the audience exploded into applause. This graduating class had found a unique way to invoke God’s blessing on their future with or without the court’s approval.
Now, you don’t have to wait until someone sneezes to bless your child. You bless them each time you tell him you love and affirm him.9 -
Fuck you Firefox and your shitty debugger.
Why do you try to be so different, to the point where you make the error messages obscure?
Google the error message I get in the Chrome debugger - hundreds of results.
Google the error message I get in the Firefox debugger - I can count the results with my fingers.
Just use the same error messages god damn it.
P.S: Also, why is there no fucking option to open an image in a new tab, like in Chrome?1 -
ARRAY LIKE OBJECTS
Long story short, i am fiddling a bit around with javascripts, a json object a php script created and encountered "array-like" objects. I tried to use .forEach and discovered it doesnt work on those.
Easy easy, there is always Array.from()..just..it doesnt work, well it does work for one subset called ['data'] which contains the actual rows i generate a table from, but for the ['meta'] part of the json object it just returns a length 0 object..me no understanderino
at least something cheered me up when researching, it was an article with the quote: "Finally, the spread operator. It’s a fantastic way to convert Array-like objects into honest-to-God arrays."
I like honest-to-God arrays..or in my case honest to Fortuna..doesnt solve my problem though2 -
Today I think it became apparent why we have so many data and prod issues...
No one understands SOLID design principals... Particularly Separation of Concern. No wonder all the Spring (DI) modules look like a mess of God functions that are impossible to reuse and difficult to extend...3 -
After all the rants I've written on this topic, no, no, fuck no. I ain't answering jackshit. The trauma is very real. I'm trying to not have a panic attack just remembering few of the times I've lost work, personal data, side projects, accounts, you name it.
Oh dear God it's hard to breathe...5 -
* yes, I have seen the new iPhone
* no, I'm still happy with my current one
* actually I think lots of high-end Android phones are very good too
* will you please stop talking about the sodding headphone jack you're driving me insane please stop please oh god it's happening again I did warn you but you didn't listen you wouldn't stop and now look what you made me do this is all your fault they'll never take me alive1 -
I feel like Git could have come up with a better name than "force push".
It just doesn't seem right... If your codebase doesn't want your commitment, you really shouldn't force yourself on them. No means no god dammit!3 -
Ooh Wee!
So Chromebook plus's now have access to crostini in the development channel and just found out neverware supports Linux apps now... God damn it's a good time to be a Chromebook user, no longer going to be hindered with development on my Chromebook :-D6 -
Meh. FFS. Thats how this shit starts.
Get a call to say 2018 Bank Holidays not showing on legacy web calendar.
/me looks for bank holiday code in PHP file ..... no dice.
/me finds a dBase table that holds all Bank Holiday info. Not ideal, but I can work with that.
Enter all Bank Holidaya into dBase. Sit back, relax, wait for page to reload to show me Banks .... no dice.
Huh??
Read code more closely ......
Included file (inline, half way through PROCEDURAL FILE FFS) and notice that the linked file has all Banks hand formatted into Calendar events, and minified.
If I ever meet the old dev in the street, so help me god. 🤬2 -
if (!rant) Fuck oranges
else
It's about time we make some God fucking damn things fucking God fucking clear. What the fuck does programming have to do with fucking non-programming?
Honestly. Fucking fucks pretending to be fucking programmers (probably not you, but fuck off if you're one of those fuckers.) FUCK SUCH PEOPLE FUCK YOU FUCK FUCK fuck FUCK!
There. Now that's out there. Leave fucking programming to the fucking fuckers who fucking know some-fucking-thing fucking ab-fucking-out it. If you're learning, ask questions, without you there'd be no fucking future for good fucking programmers. But if you're a fucking fuck fucking ducks in the fucking park--fuck the God fucking damn the fuck OFF!3 -
Oh god i have been fighting with exoplayer library and ima sdk for past month and yet i haven't been able to figure out how to play multiple VAST tags without using a vmap.. if anyone knows this( or find this relevent and want more info regarding this) please, let's chat.
I am sometimes so irritated with open source. We are grateful that you made a great video player , but please for the love of god , document it nicely. No one can skimm through your 800 fucking classes, especially when a quarter of them are core c++ classes that an android dev never even touches.
Plus no replies on issues! My god, you know after SO, the second tab that's almost always open on my PC is that of some github library or issue. And am sure that must be the case of most of the devs. Then why can't you fucking reply?????
You see, this is typical google.. i am beleive they see everything and ignore it until the right moment comes... Android dev summit is coming, and they won't make any replies now, but would make big changes on the day of their on stage presentations like a boss, recieving lots of applauses, like " yay, they fixed it!! Yess more documentation " bull fucking shit.
My boss knows this and he is on my ass to find solutions before google releases solutions coz he wanna stay ahead of the competition
Thanks for fucking me, open source1 -
Meetings entire day. Management/PMs fucked things up and forgot an ENTIRE system. They just spend A YEAR for the requirements. A YEAR!!! Just unbelievable. Guess who has to shoot from the hip just fucking guessing things to fix it before everything should be in production? So sad. I just have to quit this incompetence. Just…incompetence. I know it is complex but to forget an entire eco-system of applications is just beyond idiotic. One whole year and God almighty know how many workshops and business travel expenses. I am fucking distancing myself from this organization. I have no hope. No hope.3
-
god, I just reported a post accidentally while trying to mute it... no prompt or anything
this app/site sure needs some love... should I do an open source version, but somehow still monetized in an ethical manner?8 -
For the fucking love of God, a client is too lazy to adapt his CI Tools to support latest Ionic that he wants us to rewrite the WHOLE WEB APP in Angular1, just to support their legacy JBOSS + Maven build process. Fucking fortunately, no adjustments on the timeline.
If I only know the names of those lazy fucks, I'll put them on the Death Note.1 -
I'm currently sitting in a hockey arena owned by my city, they offer free wifi, and cause I'm privacy conscious, I try to download a VPN for my computer. The motherfuckers block the download under the vague "violation of use policy" bullshit. Even better, I read the ToS they give you when you connect, and it says sweet fuck all about prohibiting downloads. What the fucking fuck do you have to gain from me not using a god damn VPN. It just makes no god damn sense.3
-
Start a business, it'll be fun they said. One of those days you'll realise that you're in a situation where you'll have to fire a friend from your engineering team, there's no way around it..
People keep on thinking and saying
"You're so lucky, you can choose the clients and the team, and work whenever you want to.."
Yep. Highest highs and lowest lows go hand in hand. Thank god there's both.2 -
I'm seriously beginning to hate when blog platforms (like WordPress), are being used as a God damn CMS with thousands of plugins, e-commerce and stuff like that.. I couldn't care less what someone else is using, but when I HAVE TO WORK WITH THAT, then just one big God damn finger to whoever thinks this is the best way. Fuck you and your belief that this kind of stuff is awesome, easy to work with, and with no bugs.4
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I must say the worst thing is the whole "branding" of closed and open source software. Giving systems/platforms/repositories/projects/libraries names that makes no sense, just for the sake of standing out. Just god damn call a shoe for a shoe...the difference lies in the creator/maintainers and not in the fucking name...sry
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When you finish a project that abuses vanilla js and canvas for real-time updates on tables generated from drag actions in a graphic (no raphael, paperjs or konvas) and test it in IE 😄
Thank god it's going to be applied in a controlled environment... a real browser can be used 😇 -
God damn it Microsoft Teams is the shittiest piece of conferencing software ever. The UI is not consistent at all, calls are dropping like flies, and it does this bullshit thing where if packets are dropped it speeds up people's voices which is annoying as fuck. Echoes are everywhere and does no background filtering so people are on mute when they're talking. Fuck you Microsoft for bundling this pos down our throats.6
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Switching to Java after several years of c# experience(new project)... and it feels like lobotomy has been performed on both the language/machine and my part - no var keyword(yet), horrible work with the collections (but thank god we have at least the streams), basic things like Long are actual objects(not a value type), strings must be compared with .equals ... and suddenly even simple tasks take me horrendous amount of time.9
-
Who here works at Apple in the Finder group. OMG, would you please fix shit? Finder has been such a bag of insects for years.
1. windows don't right-size to any reasonable minimum in icon view when there is one row of icons
2. text color of files and folder names no longer adjust to accommodate background color changes. Setting the window background color USED TO result in white text of the files and folders displayed in that window. Now it is Black-On-Black oh so readable 🙄
3. stop re-locating 0,0 in the god damn folder icon view. Finder items in grid view cannot, by themselves, get disorganized off the grid.
4. Stop moving the god damn folder/disk window locations between open and close
5. stop resizing the god damn folder/disk windows between open and close.
6. stop destroying the contents of clipping files. I get so tired of losing data to mac-unix programmers who think they know what the f they are doing at the file level. Resource forks were rocket science you just could not understand and you have really rolled the clock back on macOS file system to Stone Age 1980s tech.11 -
Dear Windows, we have to talk. I love you, you know that, and I know that your market share has been shrinking in recent years and you're shit scared of becoming irrelevant but for the love of god:
- STOP asking me every god damn few weeks if I want to change my browser settings - NO I FUCKING DONT WANT TO USE BING, FUCK OFF
- STOP trying to be like an app and add pointless new "features" that nobody cares about and just do your fucking job, which is to be a PLATFORM which is stable, never changes and that gets out of my fucking way
- STOP reinstalling apps I uninstall, Im NOT FUCKING INTERESTED IN PAINT 3D, FUCK OFF
FUCK, ME,2 -
Dear the jackarse the wrote our highschool ComSci course.
Go fuck yourself. Pascal is deprecated long ago, no-one using it but you. You are dragging us down on the programming yet you want us to follow up "the great 4.0 revolution" while feeding us garbage from like what, the 90s? Please consider switching to some modern language, not necessarily the C family but please be something modern. And teach us to use the command line.
For the love of god
PTH6 -
God I hate slow burn in projects.
Trying to do something with a feature that's still in beta for the language. No docs so I asked for this.
Seems like a cycle of days where I'd be trying random ass solutions to no avail when suddenly one time I mistype the Google search and it brings me to this obscure ass blog with a potential solution that raises some new issue all over again.
It's been modification/addition/removal of over 10000 lines in different local branches and commits and only 200 of them actually are going to make it into the final code.1 -
Anyone else remember before Google when we used to say "God knows" for questions we had no idea about.2
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Self rant
Wasted unspecified amount of time because i was using a src attribute in a div. Changed my mind about needing a div for the image, completely forgot to add "img" before expanding the Emmet abbreviation. Didn't realize until i noticed the closing tag on an "image". God, I'm stupid sometimes, but in my defense it is past midnight, I'm hungry but there's no food in here, and this backup PC I'm using while I'm away is jealous of my main machines apparently.1 -
My colleague is actually on vacation... But nevertheless he is kind of working from home...
He is forwarding me emails that I think he wants me to answer / take care about just to realize he already did everything...
People constantly come to me with problems they just discussed with him and think that I know about it.
No I don't!
Am I the only person not calling or emailing my colleague? He is on vacation! God damnit...
I hate humans... -
Only for the fact i had my earphones turned off I overheard the BA saying the ticket im working on is no longer a problem as the external vendor has fixed the issue.
What the Actual Fuck is going on, if i didnt ask what the story was i would have been working on a fucking bug that wasnt present in live or ever will be,!!
Get to Fuck you God Damn Ass Clown -
The bygone clowns have started their new project. I look at the FAQ page. It's literally lies, because I know what they've done so far.
"We've had thousands of clients!" no they haven't, lie.
"We estimate approximately % of customers..." they don't have enough data to support that, lie.
Since when did marketing become lying?
God I hate this planet.7 -
contrarian dev guru types are just losers who couldn't make it in industry or business with their (lack) of skills, but are so sour and embittered they continue to shovel their own garbage on everyone else
god its just so annoying "oh i do it only this way, and its the RIGHT way, you must do it this way"
this UI feature that literally exists everywhere else? "oh no those are bad, no one uses it and its not a best practice"
get the fuck out of my way, you're just slowing me down2 -
Basic requirement of every Data Science college internship:
1) 2-3 years of experience... God damn it
2) Research and publications...(yeah right! in 2 years of college in which you taught me how to "work with" C on Turbo-C... I should have god damn publications... Well worked my ass on and have 2, but guess what campus internships says.. " no fucks given man", solve those damn segment tree question first then we will talk)
Its an infinite recursive while loop
FML -
My stackoverflow question is getting upvotes and already 30+ views. No complains, just getting actual replies and potential code solutions. Does that mean im becoming a god?5
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Tonight begins the holiest day of the year for Jews, Yom Kippur. I'm about to embark on a 25 hour fast, no food, no water. I'll be in a prayer house for 15+ hours, literally begging God to let me live for another year.
Meanwhile, I'm set back in my classes 150+ hours of potential work time thanks to all the Jewish holidays this month. Sukkot, Shemini Atzeret, Simchat Torah, and Rosh Hashanah.
Being Jewish is fun T_T10 -
From HTML CSS javascript to some voodoo WPF xaml and c#, mvvm and databinding dependency inject cluster bomb to my brain god Microsoft just put a tutorial out like a normal group of people. where you do examples of projects. I'm 2 weeks in and this still makes no sense5
-
There are days you feel like a God and there days you have no idea what you are doing in the dev space.
All in all perseverance with a whimsical tone -
Failed the interview I was hoping for.
I already had 3 tech rounds, this was 4th and god I couldn't solve anything. Other rounds were fine but only this one was bad. I feel so exhausted, I finally thought that I'm out of this shit hole but no I have to continue working day and night. :( :(2 -
Video game. Nothing but a final boss fight right from the start. Boss has infinite health. There is no time limit. If you die in the game, you die in real life.
That's what it's like to live with bipolar disorder.
For the love of god PLEASE keep yourself away from emotional stress and trauma. -
Way back no full stack. Now theres full stack and companies expect us also to be full stack + DevOps God that knows Azure, AWS, Jenkins, Docker, Ansible , puppet etc.
They want to save money and hire a one man IT department.
Full stack web and mobile developer with DevOps God skills.
Frontend = Angular React
Backend = Java Python
DB = NoSQL, MySQL, Firebase, Postgres6 -
— prove the god does exist
— prove it doesn't!
— well, the god _did_ exist, when there was no space and no time. I took my heavy masterpiece of a sword, went to meet him and slayed him. What was inside splattered, and this is how the universe was born. I killed him because I _wanted_ to, and I'm living in this time, talking to you because I _want_ to. And I will die because I want to, and will reincarnate if I want to.
— prove it happened!
— prove it didn't.1 -
I know we are supossed to complete tasks fast.
But god I hate it when they ask for a "simple fix" that they have no fucking clue how to even begin to do. Clients obviously don't have to know this, but my boss can't code an if statement yet feels as though he can say what's easy and what's not and how long it'll take.1 -
There is no god, but I am praying that I get hired somewhere else. I cannot stand another fucking day at this place.1
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oh god, wake up snappy as a lubed tomato, ready for battle. Gotta take my adhd stimulant, namely Vyvanse or else it'd be cokedbenz-like, annoying the f*ck out of everyone cuz me wouldn't even manage to keep still.
So I take those 70mg punch and
my brain takes it like a sissy! It slows to a crawl, surprise, surprise motherf*cker, it's bed time, AGAIN!
Can't keep my peepers open. Why god, why that med gets me into hibernation mode??
No trouble, no trouble, son, pop some Ritalin and you'll be ready to go!
Alright, alrighty! Take a couple of those and it's like a coffin's final nail, Thanatos roundhouse kick to Dreamland! Wtf 😒
If I hadn't gone thru the "I don't need it", "better off without it" phase so many, many! times before, I'd consider not taking those, but I know, I know that even tho those first few days would be great, by week's end I'd find me self rampaging life and crashing like thunder, with a big bang7 -
I hate that I love electronics. You can be an absolute god in the technical world but on the other hand its like whose fault is it? The hardwares or the softwares???
Been debugging a DRA818v for 3 days now and havent found any answers towards why there is no transmission just noise and stuff.
FFS JUST GIVE ME AN ANSWER!
Also if you just happen to get one thing wrong, you just fried 5$ worth of components. (Which cant really happen to a software dev)1 -
The main driver behind my use of social media is work meetings. Thank god for no requirement to have camera on.1
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Recently took over a freelance project to update an existing app, and this thing is full of comments like "TODO: Remove This" with no context. So hard to work with.
For the love of God, add some context to your comments. Especially if someone else is going to be seeing your code. -
Oooh no. A golden fish would do. A Leprechaun too. Maybe I'd give a shot with a unicorn. But God sees I'm not going to have any business with geanies! No sir! Especially when we're talking about important matter, like dev!
-
So one of my aunt who is a school teacher had her Windows 10 + Ubuntu 16 dual boot laptop updated with Ubuntu 18 by the school principal. The school principal having no clue what she was doing, ended up messing up the boot manager. I hear she simply deleted the Ubuntu 16 system files to make space and proceeded to install Ubuntu 18. The school principal took no responsibility of the catastrophe because it worked fine with other laptop.
The school has no IT department or anything of that sort either.
Guess who had to help there? Me. However, I have no clue about that area, anyhow, I managed to show a way to bootup Ubuntu 18 which is what they use at school. Windows won't boot anymore.
About a month later, now I hear the drive where Ubuntu 18 is installed is full and it is causing some issues. There is no delete option on right to make space.
May God help them. 🤷🏻♂️7 -
i forgot to take my fucking meds and for some reason i was very calm today as if i did take them. broken in more pieces than all of the grain of sand combined on this planet. hope to God it permanently stays this way. the way how i gave no fucks about problems and cold blooded emotionless fucking prick non attached to anyone cause everyone is a piecr of fucking trash5
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#Smoke_and_Coffee
Why everyone I told that I have an addition on Coffee said so you are a smoker
Ooh God no I'm not a smoker, I'm just a programmer that write 2 lines on code and drink a cup of coffee.4 -
It's been a while since I ranted but goddamn people really need to work on fucking communication. Jesus Christ. Make it to the point and think about your listener's POV. God fucking damn it fuckity fuck I am so goddamn tired. 90%of the shit that comes out of their mouths have no point wasting my fucking time. What is the objective of what you're saying?
It's time for me to BOUNCEEE. -
God, I wish I had even 2-3 friends that did web dev. I know a bunch of people on Discord who do rom hacking and fan games, but no web devs. :sad:7
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petition to bad anyone to posts a tik tok on devRant
i feel like it's almost inevitably going to happen. please god no5 -
Any magic service creating resposive layouts from existing website? God I hate resposive css when there is no unified grid system across the design.2
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Writing code at work be like:
Hmm okay so if I call this facade looking for an order with a code, and the order can't be found, it will return null. Thank God this bit of code is documented...
Ten minutes later
Why is this not throwing an exception when I pass invalid parameters in...?
Two minutes later
Oh, so this never returns null. If the order isn't found, it returns an empty DTO. Fucking docs.
Seriously, the only thing worse than no documentation is documentation that lies. And that's all I get for my first project at the company, which I am having to do alone. Either no docs, or misleading docs. -
Intern spent about a week trying to set up a local ruby on rails environment. Yeah, this is not really on topic, it wasn't that bad, but it's what comes to mind.
I don't know who modelled the databases I've had to work with these past months but god damn it no fucking normalization anywhere. Inconsistent data just cost me my morning.1 -
Spent the whole night trying to get a react native component to push a csv file to multer in the backend.
Tried using fetch, then dependencies, then xhr.
Realised I had to create formdata. No such documentation on the internet.
Used God knows what after 3 hours, suddenly things are working.
I'll never be able to get answers in life -_- -
Yo meta sign out my instagram, so I sign in back realising I logged into some random god knows who account. I logged out.
But when I login again. The app says I have to login to the other account.
So I thought maybe I reset password might help. No , the reset password page is shit , they say they will send me an email and sms but it never arrive.
Ref https://twitter.com/johnmelodyme/...1 -
She's so beautiful dude. If I could, I'd frikkin marry her in no time. Oh my God and she has all the right parts and cosmetics! I love you Arch Linux <3
-
Has anyone tried kivy for android on a mac using the newest android sdk and ndk?
If the answer is no, god bless you and your unhurt soul.2 -
Why I love to code?
1. The only thing I feel like I have control over (thanks to control loops XD).
2. Feeling like god when my code works.
3. I just love it, no reason needed, just pure love for it.1 -
Oh god no anything but this
(Seriously now, the reason is a bit complicated because Swift is different but focus on the meme, if you want an explanation I will give it to you in the comments lol)3 -
Be me. shitty front end dev intern. React god.
boomer tech company using ASP.NET MVC frameworks. Hey energy-vampire, can you make us some sick react components???
sure.
get sent giant mvc repo. I've never used it. no documentation. no comments. nothing. just a fat app.
why do companies do this? I literally had no idea what to do with this thing. went to main guy and he had to build a .sln project, link it to some other project, setup an appsettings.json file, import secrets, and then build.
how the fuck would I know to do that???9 -
We use ActiveMQ as a broker in one of our system but the messages sent between applications are in query string format, God knows why. Then when one of our new features requires a JSON structure, we had to URL encode the JSON so it can be part of the message . Now the log growth is significantly higher than the version before and no longer human readable.1
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I think I'm fucked up.
Really need to create a design, but has been feeling so stressed that I couldn't work, it's been 2 weeks and seriously no progress. It all started with saying that it's a small project and now I am capable of doing nothing.
God, I can't move. I can't work. I can't complete the task.
I'm doing more than my capacity or what? It's too late to confess it to management that I can't.14 -
Oh when you refactor the complete project structure and give for build the first time !!!
It's like you are sitting with your heart on your hand and praying to God that at least let the errors be readable(I am no genius to think I will be able to produce error free code the first time😝😝) -
Frigging jvm crashing god every god dammed time...Here I was all jolly about to start presenting a report to my team , I hadn't exported it to HTML yet so I was presenting in the app . Half an hour goes by and it's all good no problems , manager suggest I export a report and pass it to everyone . The moment I right click jvm HANGS THE APP . I try to save the session file but fail horribly , the temp file only has unreadable , unimportable data...fml now I have to go back through all that from memory...
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Title: Error Popup Occurs --> To be discussed
Description: When I open the app -> I see the app screen -> then I see some text -> sometimes there is a popup showing an error message
We of course don't want any errors at all so we should hinder these error messages
No, this isn't parody, arrows and all its how some people write our tickets, why do they write it this way!?!? Where is the value!!?!? Where is the comprehension!?!?!? God I get so sick of it sometimes.7 -
Before trying the hyped up latest hotness:
I can't wait to try Webpack, I hear it's going to solve all my problems.
After:
I FELL FOR IT AGAIN!!! When will I learn nothing is magic and JS knows no god1 -
I've set one of my contacts' ringtone to the "IT Crowd" (I haven't actually watched that series yet) "NO! God please NO!" audio bit so I know when that specific person is calling me... I'm glad I don't get his calls anymore, or not as often as they were...1
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Sometimes I wonder how long it will take for society to stop starting every. single. conference call with "Hello? Helloooo? ... Can you hear me? I can year you!". Like it's a semaphore tower, or a shortwave radio communication to the dark side of the fucking moon.
I mean... what the ever-loving fuck. This technology has been around for 20 years now, how is it still so god damn broken, inconsistent and unreliable that we actually still all do this?
I'm sure after 20 years even Antonio Meucci and Alexander Graham Bell were no longer starting every damn phone call that way. GOD DAMNIT!5 -
No god damn documentation so I'm running blind
Anyone know where I can learn to understand firmware or whatever controls the Bluetooth in micro:bit??? -
I knew devRant was some good thing, but didn't knew that it was some god level shit.
So, there is no change password option. I mean why do you want to change your password if you remember it? Just Forget it.
They got a good point.1 -
Was moved from frontend to backend. I am an absolute noob in java, code has no documentation, no formal training, code has cross repository dependencies and I have been assigned with a case and was asked to debug, felt like a pathetic piece of shit. One of those depressing days, but the good thing is we were moved here as an entire team and apparently everyone feels the same way 😂 which makes me feel better.
These are one of those short phase of "0 productivity" days, I wish Java god help me and let me write code with my usual speed, untill then I am going to feel miserable and bad about myself. -
I hate those people that comment on threads saying shit like “just google it” or “oh fuck another [insert popular topic] thread we don’t need another one.” Fuck off. It’s an online discussion forum. If it’s shit content the mods will remove it, otherwise no one is forcing your sorry, lonely pathetic ass to stop scrolling, click the thread, and read the god damn post. Just fucking turn off your computer and read a book.2
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I wouldn't say it is the worst. But it certainly had a lot of problems.
Alice
The 3D platform with drag and drop code. You could do a lot, but God help you if you didn't have a fast computer.
The worst is that it didn't have an auto save feature back when I worked on it. (No idea if they ever patched that)
You were SOL if you worked for an hour and forgot to save anything.4 -
Okay okay.
Zero Touch Provisioning and cisco devices is a joke.
You buy serveral devices for thousands of dollars and want to provision on startup.
And this shitty thing just tells me I that it is not possible to start ZTP on its management port. Oh my god.
And you cant even provide a plain config file. No it muste be a python script that will be executed on the router.
This is hilarious2 -
I just used `git add --patch` for the first time and I feel like a git god!
(No, my text editor was not giving me enough control over the hunks.) -
!Rant
Always dismissed tools such as JSBin for no apparent reason. Gave it a go a few weeks ago, and god damn as I love JSBin now. -
i developed a code some days back,
QA was completed successfully and no bugs were raised.
i was wondering how in the name of god there is no bug at all as we have to test it for IE🤔
now today on go live day they found a bug specific to IE for text rendering direction.😛 in all other browser its working fir. -
broken down. shattered into pieces. i lost weight. couldnt eat for days and now im eating very barely. started gym aggressively. every single day. changed my diet, eating and drinking only healthy. bought whey protein, consuming it. no idea where life is taking me anymore. no idea what new future this will create. but if im doing everything right then its impossible to create the wrong future i would assume. God help me4
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Yesturday when I got off work I turned my PC off and it installed some updates... Came in the today turned on the PC and the fucking Win 10 instantly crashes with Sadface of Death "could not run critical service"
Recovery does not work as usual... No safe mode no nothing!
Fuck you Microsoft just stop puting your nose in to hardware and fix your fucking software! Now I have to reinstall all of my development tools and other work related shit... Thank god I pushed my changes! -
A single fucking NuGet package is missing in release mode. That’s the only goddamn explanation I have and it makes no sense. Why the FUCK does ACR.UserDialogs only get compiled in Debug mode?!
God I fucking HATE UWP.1 -
God I hate people...
Was asked to change a few things on one of our websites including shortening a sliders height to give more room for stuff of the page, I did this and now they are complaining about the images being cut off at the bottom. No fucking shit! You wanted it shorter!1 -
Is scrolling broken on devRant on Firefox for anyone else? When I click on a rant and try to scroll, some wonky piece of Javascript keeps bumping me back up as I try to scroll down, with both the scroll wheel and the scroll bar. God damn it, stop hijacking scrolling! There is no reason for you to!3
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I can make a prediction the same dirty ass bastards that screwed me over the last time this happened will do so again because god forbid I live on like I have so many times before like an ordinary man with some moral improvement no no
That messes with their circular walk into oblivion without life2 -
Oh my god the only type I'll never ever respect or consider is those bunch of suckers that treat people differently. Say hi with a big smile to managers and not even an eye contact to others (same with those who disrespect waiter, etc.). You can be anything: extrovert/introvert, shy no problem I get it but a coward no thank you.
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What do you guys consider as toxic work environment in dev world?
I havent had a toxic one by now (or i cant recognize how toxic environment looks like)
But i feel like i sharpened my dick so good that no one would be able to spread toxicity onto me. Im like a bee 🐝 sting me once first and you'll get stung twice as much harder. No one would be able to fuck with me especially women
Dont give a shit if ur a dev manager hr boss or God. Disrespect me first and watch me do karma back to you immediately15 -
Anyone ever heard of OpenSCAD? If you have, there's a clone called Scorch CAD on Android - I both love and hate the thing. Okay, it's awesome to be able to write 3D programs on my phone, but mother of god, why is it closed source?! I mean, surely that's a GPL violation. I'm contacting the developer. He makes no money off it anyway - why is it proprietary?! Urgh.
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Sometime I feel, god forget to write proper toggle command for me.
For others it is random, for me it is static. One sad life. Only hope is system run out of memory because it is recursion with no ending.
here is the dev-rant
After fucking with Laravel Passport for 3 days, I finally manage to find a way to do multi auth.
Yeah! dude I am the guy who is going to write a tutorial for that. So, you must -- this rant.1 -
Argh, why the hell does Visual Studio not have a god damn LOCAL HISTORY for files (not just a VCS history) like any other reasonable IDE? Heck, even Eclipse has a rather decent one!
Now, I've lost the work of one hour due to an accidental reset, and there is no way to get it back!
Fuck you, Visual studio!