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Search - "cto"
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My dumb CEO just hired an even dumber CTO. The new CTO asked me the following questions...
1. What is GitHub?
2. What is JSON?
3. What’s an array?
4. What is Get and what is Post?
5. When an iPhone is offline, can it call an API on our server to tell us it’s offline?
6. I know you’ve spent 11 month the writing this backend in PHP but can you change it to Java now?
Me: Why?
Dumb CTO: Because it’s better.
Me: How?
Dumb CTO: because it is.
7. I know you’ve started to rewrite this codebase I Java but can you convert it to Node.JS now?
Me: Why?
Dumb CTO: Because Facebook uses it.
8. What is MySQL? Why aren’t you using a database instead?
9. What does NULL mean?
Somehow, I doubt that asshole is remotely qualified for the job.
Fakin shyt for brains.180 -
Our CTO has been told, this morning by management, that our development department is "too quiet" and that it's spoiling "the atmosphere" of the office space.
So we've ordered mechanical keyboards.21 -
Internship number two.
*walks downstairs to get a coffee*
*CTO (my guider) walks in*
CTO: (dead serious face) "linuxxx (not using my first name :P), come with me please"
*walks along to his office, starting to get reallly fucking nervous*
*CTO and me walk into his office, he sits down and looks at me very serious*
*I'm slightly shaking, nervous, sweating*
CTO: "So."
*oh yes here it is its gonna come I did something wrong fuck fml 😫😥😨😩*
CTO: "So you know quite some stiff around security/privacy. Could you tell me some stuff about why I'd want to use VPN and recommend me some good providers? 😀"
😅
*nearly falls onto the ground from relief*
I explained him some stuff and sent him a list of good providers 😀30 -
I came early today to the office
Found the office locked
Need fingerprint of Project Manager/CTO
With my mouth saying ah.. i blew hot air into the finger print sensor, 5 to 6 times
There u go.office door opened with welcome message
just hacked the system
Genius me14 -
CEO: "What if we invest in our devs (i.e. trainings, certifications) and they leave?"
CTO: "What if we don't and they stay?"10 -
CTO: I heard about this great architecture of microservices. What is it exactly?
Me: it's building many servers with one responsbility each.
CTO: That sound good. But let keep it simple and build only one big microservice.
Me: 😲
(True story from a comapny a worked for)9 -
Today we were all called into a meeting and the CEO was livid. He went on a rage about how the CTO was wasting money on useless shit (GitHub Enterprise). He said I bought laptops for a reason if there’s a fire someone better protect our assets and code. He wouldn’t reason with us and went into github and deleted everything. The CTO was fired and no one is leading our team. Wondering if I should quit 😶33
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The 1st of July, it'll be a year ago since my father passed away.
I made him a promise as he explicitly told me; "Please grow our company, I wouldn't have put you in the CTO position if you sucked at what you do" - so I said I would keep pushing the boundaries.
As per now we've officially broken our set target. Our revenue thus far in 6 months of time has reached to last years total revenue. I take great comfort in knowing that he would have been god dang proud.
July the 1st will be a day with both a smile and a tear. Had to get this off my chest!8 -
Got into the monday tech meeting, CTO be like: we lost 10% of users due to last version, terrible I know, but that's really valuable data, I want you to find out why they left.3
-
passionately making love on Friday morning.
Cellphone buzzes for WhatsApp notification, ignored.
Call ignored, SMS ignored, again call, ignored.
She : whose that bitch calling you?
Me : it's no one important.
She : Checks WhatsApp, message from CTO, server crashed.
Me : Umm, darling, I need to fix this.
It's been 2 days she hasn't answered my call after she left.15 -
I just witnessed this interaction between my CTO and an intern. CTO was a good 30 feet away, so everyone heard:
CTO: *talking about some notepad or something* "I HAVE ONE IN MY DESK!"
Intern: **froze - afraid to go through his desk**
CTO: "TOP DRAWER!"
Intern: ..........
CTO: "GET IT, FUCKER!"
Intern: **blushing - gently opens drawer**
CTO: "KEEP GOING! PAST THE CANDY!"
Intern: "I ..."
CTO: "PAST THE WHISKEY!"
Intern: **softly** "I found it..."
CTO: "THAT WAS HARD!"
Intern: *starts walking back*
(player 3 enters the game) Director of Software: "BRING THE WHISKEY!"
Note: The intern was laughing, he is just a bit timid.
I truly love my job.17 -
My CTO everyone:
"You don't have to assert proper permissions in the backend for this user role, they won't guess the URL anyway. just hide the links"
Yikes.. fml.9 -
CTO: "You must write good tests with high coverage, ideally use TDD. We need confidence in our releases."
Also CTO: *Secretly commits code changes directly to master at 3am, breaks tests, skips CI, publishes, tells no-one*8 -
I accidentally sent my password to slack channel!!
I have deleted it and changed my password of course, but it still doesn't make the embarrassment go away. Especially because my password is something ridiculous like :
Materialisticbitch88$$$
Some people have already seen it!!
RIP my reputation.
:/27 -
Ill join in - Our CEO and CTO insist that we can make an AI that can recognize emotions and feelings through Python, R, and some MySQL... mind you, with a team of unpaid interns....
Im sorry, but Id love some of whatever the fuck they are smoking.12 -
Boss refused to sing my termination latter saying he wont sign it until CTO returns from vacation (2-3 weeks)... So today i brought my freelance project to work and i work on it.. guess who is making more €/h today and doesnt have to pay for electricity11
-
Never have I been so furious whilst at work as yesterday, I am still super pissed about going back today but knowing it's only for another few weeks makes it baerable.
I have been the lead developer on a project for the last 3~ months and our CTO is the product owner. So every now and then he decides to just work on a feature he is interested in- fair enough I guess. But everything I have to go and clean up his horrendous code. Everything he writes is an absolute joke, it's like he is constantly in Hackathon mode "let's just copy and paste some code here, hardcoded shit there and forgot about separation of code- it all goes in 1 file".
So yesterday he added a application to the project and instead of reusing a shared data access layer he added an entirely new ORM, which is near identical to the existing ORM in use, for this one application.
Being anal about these things, the first thing I did was delete his shit and simply reference the shared library then refactor a little code to make it compatible.
WELL!! I certainly hit a nerve, he went crazy spamming messages on Slack demanding I revert as it broke ONE SINGLE QUERY that he hadn't checked in (he does 1 huge commit for 10 of everyone else's). I stuck to my principals and explained both ORM's are similar and that we only needed one, the second would cause a fragmented codebase for no benefit whatsoever.
The lead Dev was then forced to come and convince me to revert, again I refused and called out the shit quality of their code. The battle raged on via the public slack group and I could hear colleagues enjoying the heated debate, new users even started joining the group just to get in on mine and the cto's difference of opinion.
I even offered to fix his code for him if he were to commit it, obviously that was not taken well ;).
Once I finally got a luck at the cluster fuck of shit he had written it took me around 5 minutes to fix and I ever improved performance. Regardless he was having none of it. Still the demands to revert continued.
I left the office steaming after long discussions with the lead Dev caught in the middle.
Fortunately my day was salvages with a positive technical discussion that evening at a company with whome I had a job offer from.
I really hate burning bridges and have never left a company under bad terms but this dictator is making me look forward to breaking the news today I will be gone in 4 weeks.4 -
I played skyrim, and i thought yes.. i want to make that...
and now i am a very successful CTO and cofounder of a video game startup thats blooming and already made 7 figure profits
no, no im not, i ended up making websites for very little money...9 -
Not a rant, just awesomeness:
At my company our CTO organizes a meeting every month that gives us devs a chance to present new technologies to each other, offer advice about workflows and give feedback about current situations. This allows us to constantly improve.
Thanks boss!3 -
*at front end job interview*
Me: so what kind of version control do you use?
CTO: well, one of the guys here developed our own system.. bla bla bla *turns around laptop*
Me: *sees internet explorer* NO THANKS 😬4 -
And then there was this big review...
DEVs:" this bug is hazardous and needs to be fixed quickly! It could crash a productive system completely!"
CTO and DEV teamlead:" shut up! This big exists more than two years! No customer will ever klick this button!"
--exactly twelve hours later--
Customer:"so we clicked on this button and our system crashed! Can you help us quickly? We are losing money!!!"
CTO in the meeting:"who programmed this shit? Are you insane?"
Teamlead:"you are useless !!"5 -
I'm a bad influence.
It's been a tradition for me to keep a bottle of 'desk whiskey' buried in a drawer at work. A couple weeks ago, I started inviting cube mates over for a drink on Fridays as five pm rolled around.
Soon one of them brought in a bottle of scotch. Then another.
Started observing the afternoon drink on days other than Friday, more folks got involved...
Now the CTO talks about "Whiskey O' Clock" daily.
🍺5 -
CTO: I'm a programmer now *smug* (I'm just like you guys, but paid much better)
Tech leads:???
CTO: I coded python hello world this weekend (I'm a multi talented genius)19 -
CTO wants all variables in file to be same length. You cant have "start" and "stop". You must have "start" and "cease".16
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Me: Hey let's do A to help the website.
PO: Yeah that sounds good. but let's do some research about it.
6 months later.
PO: Hay let's do A to help the website.
CTO/CEO/PO's boss: amazing idea. Here's an award and some money for that.
Me: What. The. F...6 -
I dont trust people who have LinkedIn tagline with any of these combinations.
Blockchain
Machine learning
Artificial Intelligence
Expert
Mentor
Advisor
CTO
Startup10 -
My CTO gave me the "designer of the year" - award, after I successfully replaced the logo from a provided template html file.7
-
CTO joined us to interview a web fullstack today.
Amongst many battle analogies, he said "Fuck the corrupt and the weak. We keep only the best here"
If he watches 300 a couple more times, I think he will start wearing leather underwear and a red cape to work.3 -
You may know about my dumb CTO, if not, read here: https://devrant.io/rants/854361/...
Anyway, the dumbass emailed me this weekend asking “what is big data?”
So I replied: “...it’s when you use a large font in your code...”
He thanked me. I bet he will be at some presentation somewhere and will reference using large fonts in an IDE!!!10 -
I joined a company 6 months ago.
No CTO.
No development process.
Spagetti code.
Takes loads of new requirements on top.
Later
I advised the software head and managing director on how to improve our software development process.
New tools
Less requirement good quality software
New products and micro services.
Both of them agreed but they said they are waiting for new CTO to confim as an authority and responsibility.
Well I cant do much just to do my work.
1 month ago new CTO joined
Revised whatever I advised and implementing it right. I like it.
Got my confirmation after 6 months instead of 3 months.
CTO called me in for review and gave me 2/5. And said you need to improve more.
I asked him, in what do I need to improve.
He replies in technologies and development process.
And he takes credit for all changes and implementation.
I argued about it. I already suggested what you did but was ignore because we didnt have CTO.
Hes like ignored me.
Fucking you CTO.3 -
I'm the leader of a team developing a project at my company. Recently I had an accident which required me to have a surgery, and I was out for the last month.
Since it's an important project, our CTO reassigned a Xamarin dev to help my team (in JEE) while I'm out, you know, cause "C# looks like Java". The guy had to write a file stream handler, and - though the guy does a really good job - it's funny to see how desperately he's trying to understand how Java works with streams. Censored because of reasons.7 -
!rant
So I have been recently hired at my current job for leading a product team. We're a small team working in a big company which have other teams working on other projects. I like my work and I have been appreciated for my work which I did since my stay here.
So I and my manager were discussing about how more can we automate our workflow to reduce the time to get the final builds. It was late in night. Suddenly someone asked, 'did I hear automation?'. We turned to see our CTO listening to our conversation. He told us that he's having trouble with automation in his project. I was new, so I didn't know what did he work on, so I asked.
Me: So what did you guys work on?
CTO: well, we work on automating stuff for clients and save them money. We earn 100x revenue than your product (In a more humble tone). I am currently looking for someone who can lead a team of developers for handling the automation scripting part. *Provides description of the candidate* Do you guys know someone like that?
Manager: (pointing towards me) It looks like his description.
CTO: I want him in my team then.
Manager: That can't happen, he's required in very important stuff and you're not allowed to poach.
CTO: I think I have the right to poach 😉
Me: OK, so how much raise am I going to get to switch teams (to the manager) and how much am I going to get to stay? Whoever gives me more I am theirs.
CTO: I like this guy
It's day three, I am still awaiting for one of them to tell me who won 🙁
PS: They both are friends with each other.2 -
Feeling like I've gone back in time about 15 years!
Just told my CTO about various improvements we could make to the development process. Things like git, continuous delivery, agile project management apps such as Jira, task management such as Gulp, etc.
His response - "never heard of them. I bet they'll pass in a few months. Just another round of fads".undefined continuous deployment git fml i hate my job anyone hiring time travel gulp agile efficiency8 -
worst interview was about 2 years ago. I found this job as on a famous website, I applied for a desktop dev. position...the job seemed really easy, after 10 minutes the so-called CTO asked me:" how much do you know C hash?" me:"what?" him:"C hash...the Microsoft programming language" I thanked him for his time and went home crying ( he meant c# )...after a month I found out the company had gone bankrupt...I think I know why..8
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I want to print this pic out in enormous size and qty, hang them in many classrooms to show my female friends that it's normal to wear cute skirt and cute shoes while wringing cables on your shoulders.
😏12 -
When you read a CV and it states "I am an entrepreneur and have run various startup websites". Experience "Junior Developer... Developer... CTO... Developer" WTF!
No. No. No. You have had personal projects/a blog which is not a startup and does not make you an entrepreneur.
CV goes to trash pile.10 -
Client: "I did not receive the email that should be send after that event. Please fix."
Me:
* Checks code - ok
* Tests feature in locally - ok
* Tests feature in production - ok
* checks values in database - ok
* 2 hours wasted - ok
"Please help me dear CTO, idk what else I could check or how I should even respond to this."
CTO: "hmm, the clients account uses a adminstrative email address for testing. Let me just check if it is in the mailbox."
*checks* "Yeah, that's the email you're looking for, right?"
Me: *experiences relief, anger, blood lust and disappointment at the same time* "Could you please respond to the client for me, I need a break. Thanks"1 -
Our PM is on vacation. And our CTO/CEO takes control of the PM role.
So today he decided it was time to just start a customer change request. Regardless of the customer not having approved the actual solution and estimate.
He just said that he did not want to waste any more time talking to the customer. Now they are gonna get what ever he thinks they want.
I predict this to backfire in a fabulous way. What could possible go wrong🤔4 -
Beginning of a Hackaton and the CTO calls everyone up and tries to instigate everyone with this gem:
"Challenge yourself and what we have. For example, instead of AWS use Swagger."
🤨
Nobody says anything but has the same WTF expression ... How do these person become tech lead?2 -
I don't go to the doctor and tell him what tools to use. I was just told to delete the .scss files because they were taking up too much room and to put all partials and images at root instead of in descriptive folders.3
-
My CTO in the 'good old times', when he still talked to me and shared his wisdom, once told me what I should know about oop and explained me the world of programming and what really matters:
CTO about oop and C#:
"I think this object orientated stuff is overrated and useless. You don't get finished. I write everything in one file. You should do that too. The fastest way is always the best one."
So, dear readers, you might think, he maybe understood, what oop means. I have to disappoint you. He is as FUCKING STUPID as he sounds.
He didn't understand the whole concept of the language C# or oop.
He doesn't use properties, every single method is static void and there is nothing like an object.
Since there is more from where that came from, this will be continued...7 -
Frequently used answers :)
UI developer - I think API is not working
Backend developer - Front end is not sending the request correctly
Tester - Testing! Testing!
UI/UX - As per android/ios standards...
QA - Let me check one more time
PM - Let us have another meeting and get on the same page
Dev-Ops - It's very complicated you know
CTO - We're working on a next-gen solution
Founder - Let us build something that no one has built, something similar to what google...facebook...
Cridits: My EX-CPO5 -
CTO: I told you to be careful with the live bucket and now it's completely exposed to the public. I don't think I can trust you with this can you please generate your files somewhere else. This is unacceptable.
*Me frantically trying to figure out what's going on*
*5mins later*
CTO: ?? Any ideas?
Me: A theory
Workers were executing function X which called save on a model that dint have a path name but instead it called function Y which generated a path for the object to be saved in. This has overridden all the original objects with newly generated ones.
I created my versions out of the newly generated ones. Here's the command and the functions mentioned above.
*Hands over code/links etc*
CTO: Oh I guess I just panicked hahah
All of the functions and commands were written by him and executed... By him.4 -
Me (front dev): We should use nodejs for this project...
CTO (back): Nah... Fu*k Node! Php ftw
Now: we have a php framework with a nodejs server for the front end6 -
We are building this big-data engine for a client's product for which we were using a cluster on GCP and they were billed ~1100$ for the last month's usage.
The CTO - the CHIEFFUCKING TECHNOLOGY OFFICER told us to hook up 5-6 laptops in our server room and create our own cluster because they cannot afford so much bill.6 -
Prof: "Hey, you can take a look at the source code that we used last year in this research paper"
Me :(surprise because other papers usually don't share source code), "Okay"
A few weeks later:
Me: "Prof, if you use method A instead of method B, you can get better performance by 20%. Here's the link"
Prof:"The source link that you mentioned is for another instrument, not GPU"
Me:"Yeah, but I tested in on GPU and I found it is also applied in my device"
Prof:"That's interesting."
-----------------------------------------------------
This is why folks, sharing the source code that you used in scientific papers is important.8 -
Me thinking that getting a job in tech is easier than getting a non-tech job because we are "in demand".5
-
That awkward moment when you made some changes in your code and hope that it will fail so that you can confirm your theory/suspicion.
Otherwise you'll have no idea what's going on.
: /3 -
Job Interview for a CTO role for a premium employer, a big law firm.
All is going well, I am telling them about my years of experience doing complex software integrations in business environments. Talking CRM/ERP, project management and development with external service providers. I tell them I want a salary of 100k and they nod in silence.
Then out of the blue one of the three stakeholders/managers leans over for a final question:
"Soo, we have this really big IT problem and if you would happen to know a solution to it, you would really prove your worth: I have these 10k+ E-Mails in my Outlook folder which doubles as an archive and Outlook keeps getting slower all the time. What can we do?"6 -
CTO: Trigger email to everyone when internet goes down. Do this by EOD.
Me: OK
Later
How could I send email without internet.
Confused....5 -
Me 2 days ago :
"I have applied to so many places, and did lots of interview for my internship. Still no result so far. Maybe I need to take some odd jobs to cover my bills while I improve my coding skills. Rent and food need to be paid, you know.
But I will keep applying to at least 40 companies before I change my strategy"
Me today :
"OMFG, they offered me a position despite my very bad interview!!"
🤩
So whoever is still looking for a job out there, don't give up man... We are in this together.👍👍3 -
Impossible deadlines are ubiquitous in our company. Our CTO has the opinion that development is a lightning-fast process that doesn’t require testing and deployment because every developer is a God.
It is normal to hear something like ”just develop it tomorrow morning, it is easy” from him, but in reality, it is never that easy. -
CTO 3 months ago:
- You will get a raise after 9 months of work according to your KPI (98%) and bonus (size of one month pay check)
HR today:
- NO
FUCKITY FUCK, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. I WORKED HARD AT NIGHTS AND SACRIFICED MY FREE UNPAID TIME FOR NOTHING, THANKS21 -
I just gave a successful demo to the CEO and CTO of a company I'm doing some contract work for. The questions they were asking led to me going off script, luckily it all worked!3
-
Back then, whatever finished tasks I have done, our CTO always contradicts my idea and finds a way to humiliate me. I don't get the point why he did that. Probably, he didn't want me to excel at something or he really does have crab mentality. I already reported this issue to our CEO because I was being harassed and submitted my resignation letter.
And boom! Guess what? It looks like our CTO just stepped a chicken manure and treats me nicely like a princess.
P.S. To be honest, it took him like a couple of months to step down and act normal like nothing happened. Really appreaciated the A-ffort, though!10 -
Client: Yo, there's like a 30k difference between the invoices in the application and paypal.
CTO: Yeah, that's really sad. Btw, did you know that our payment gateway supports credit cards, which won't be shown in paypal?
I'm writing this in a funny tone, but I was the person who basically implemented every aspect of accounting in that application, so I praying silently 😅 -
Me - "I need to find the children"
CTO- "Okay. How many?"
It takes about 10 minutes to realize the conversation you just had1 -
Found out other team's project result about performance for uni assignment. It's that Matlab is the fastest, followed by python and C++ is the slowest.
They are gonna get roasted during presentation (by many people in the audience including me).
This is gonna be fun.
/*devilish grin*/24 -
Was manic, was on prescriptions, never prepared, was late, cussed as hell about modern frontend development, got a CTO job1
-
Today I looked at some code from our CTO. He used plain SQL Statements with huge selects and no prepared statements.
I asked him:
1. why dont you build some helpers or even use some frameworks?
2. why are there no prepared statements?
His answer (to both questions)
We do not need that. That just uses too much ressources and time. It's more cleaner and simpler this way.
My Face: 😵1 -
If I do it in python : Finish in one day!
If I do it in C++ :
1 week for installation and configuration
3 days for coding
Another 1 day for troubleshooting...
But I will still prefer do it in C++.5 -
At the beginning of April there were 9 of us in Ops, come May there will only be 3 of us left. :/
They've left because they disagreed with some the CTO was trying to do and he fired them, or just because they hate him. Every week it's a new game of "Who's going this time?". -
Tuesday.
Director: we need to add our partner's project to our ci pipeline
CTO: we need to add ci to this repo, it should work via this tool (not the one we use now)
PM: we need to use this new tool, figure it out until Friday
TL: we need to move all our projects to this new ci tool, don't ask, the task is given by CTO
Me: okay
Friday.
Me: everything is ready except for this one old project
TL: we couldn't use it for one of our projects
PM: we had difficulties with the new tool
CTO: we couldn't add our partner's project to the pipeline
Director: *gives me a warning for being incompetent*1 -
Our marketing just change the blacklist/whitelist terms to blocklist/allowlist to make it more "neutral" following change in github "master branch" to "main branch"
When will this end, people ?
:/14 -
Previously, I rant in twitter but none of my followers understand them.
So now I am gonna switch here.
Please bear with me. (^.^)d2 -
"The library you recently wrote appeared on my github feed. I haven't read all of the readme yet, but you already deserve a star for the documentation and the name" - CTO
Today was a good day2 -
I started at a company to develop an "uber" clone. Hired by the company's cto. I was happy initially as i had been unemployed for a while but that's because i didn't see the shitstorm coming. The task was build this using php, well 2 weeks later and db locking issues because mysql only allows 100 connections and the website takes over 200mb per request, i tried using the meteor framework, a lil better but the orphaned process would require me to reboot every 2 days. So enter erlang, built in 3 weeks works amazing problems none here... Well in comes the cto (which came in once a week). Apparently he had been reviewing my code and didn't understand it. He couldn't understand no for loops etc and demanded that it be made understandable to a normal dev. Did normal devs write uber no. Anyhow i spent the next 6 Weeks refactoring trying to make elixir looks like imperative programming, he finally gave up, so now I'm deep committed writing an API, finish in a week cto comes in and "why aren't you using patch" i don't need it, well another day implanting a patch api that will never be used. Ok done. Now we have a meeting with the investors who i worked in the same building with and they want a frontend built. I explained i was a backend dev and they needed a uiux expert. Next week cto comes back with this jquery fire pit and stolen bootstrap theme and take me with implementing it. This time we scrap the api change some of the backend logic and implement rest from the 90s one static page per request. After 3 months working with jquery I'm let go because of finical issues. I told them i was a backend dev but they didn't listen if the cto would've gotten a frontend expert things would be different but what to expect from a cto who's coding legacy is creating WordPress plugins.
Hopefully things will be better soon I'm tired of living on the streets.5 -
I attended a 2-days scientific conference last week which lasted from 9 AM-7 PM.
I submit my travel expenses today and the university adm got guts to tell me that
I should commute 6 hours everyday to that place instead of staying in a hotel.
Please people, I contribute making our research and name renown to the public. I don't even get paid doing that (did it for the sake of experience).
The least you can do is to support the accomodation. The penny pinching you did in the name of cost saving is embarrasing.
I didn't like every hour spent working in the uni, yet people still ask me why I won't continue to PhD.
No offence to all PhDs out there. It's just that my practical and money-oriented ass couldn't
stand all the free work I have to do if I do that.
I'd rather work in a supermarket, at least I'm getting paid of what I'm worth.
😕7 -
My non-programmer friend (a mechanical engineer) has better pay doing what she loves.
I have lower pay, clocking more hours, and stress, doing a subject that I don't like.
Should I change profession?
: /12 -
Skills required for ML :
Math skills:
|====================|
Programming skills :
|===|
Skills required for ML with GPU:
Math skills:
|====================|
Programming skills :
|====================|
/*contemplating career choice*/
: /3 -
Our CTO doesn't believe that tests improve code quality. We have no tests on any level, no testers/QA, no code reviews. Nada. I wonder why production keeps breaking 🤔 Guess I'll start looking for another job 🤷♂️20
-
10 PM (after a very busy working day), CTO calls me and tells me: "We decided to hand in the new version to [random client] one week earlier, so they can test it."
Me: "I don't think is a good idea, the app is still unstable, we started working in it yesterday, it *will* crash"
CTO: "Don't you worry, at least they know we are working on it"
20 minutes later
CTO: "WTF why did you make my app crash?! I can't send this to a client!"
Told you. That is why that code is on develop and not on master. -
It’s a pretty good feeling when you’ve been sweating deadlines, stay in late, worrying about users, testing, maintaining a list of projects as long as your arm but your boss comes to you and low key asks you to be CTO of the company. It’s a small company so we don’t officially have that title but that’s the role I’ll be filling!3
-
I'm a noob so I was dumb enough to google 'Eyeballs' in case it's a kind of tools that I don't known yet.
😕4 -
Every project ever :
Initial plan :
||===================|| 100 %
Actual submission
||==|| 13%
- Not enough money!
- Not enough people!
- Not enough time!
- Not enough resources!
- Hardware not supported
- Software not supported
- My team are useless
- God didn't like it. :/1 -
Today I messaged my CTO 👩💻 ,
"If you were a repo, I'd commit to you everyday"
and didn't get a reply. What will happen tomorrow ?19 -
* Sending "less" data
* Number of ads won't change
Intern at Microsoft: Should I rephrase the messages so that it becomes a little bit subtle?
CTO(or whoever the fuck is in charge of rolling out windows update): Let it be direct and on the nose. Fuck this shit.
(Edit): Always forget to attach the image.2 -
S̠̪͓͓͐̑̑ͥȉ͎̦̬̱̤̣ͯ̆ͩ̃̌n̦̙̙̦͉̟̟͋ͬ̉ͫ̍̈́̚c͓̰͚͚̆̎ͦͫe ̹ͨ̚ͅt̠̟̦͍͕̑̾ͬͬ͒ͦͅǒ̪̩̑m͍̖̭o̝̬͚̦̥̺r͌̋ṙ̒̐̄ò͙͓ͭw ͩ̔̿̎ͤ̋ͮi̼̭̦ͥͣ͒s̪̰̃̂ ̲̰̮̣̮̌ͭͬ͆̔H͉̳a̠̲̟̹͓̰͎͐͆ͥ̓͋̍̎llo̱̺͖̲͑̒̿ͨw̜͓̟̺̹̹ḙ̭̳̬͇̻ê͖̼̮ͥ́n͉̺͑̽,̫̲ͪ̅ ̫̲͓̟̳̋͊̇̆̈̓ͅľ̠̰̅et̠̩̟̦͉̦͕͐̓ͦ͌ͩͥ̓s̱̓ p͔͚͈͎̰͓̘ra̰̘̥̗̲̯͓n͎̪̠̗͎̬k̈ͬ̊͛̉̅̚ ȏ̻͇̫̰̞ͣ̌̄̌uͤͭ͑ͯr͉̗ͅ ͊̊ñ͙̯͈͑͑o̗̙̍ͤn-͚̘͎̣͑͊͑̇̔ͅtͨ̽̿͑̇̚ḙ̱̾ͭc͍h ̯͖̓ͯf͓̗̥͔̥̬̎͒ͤ́͒ͯr͍͙̋̋ȉ̤en̥̻̦̥d̟̜̟ͬͩ̈́s͍͕̦̭̣͉̿̔̇ͯͥͬ ̲͛w̞̽i̥͕̙̹ͅt͖̠͕̒̍̈́h͉ ͊͐ẗ̒́̄̍͊h̗̜͔ͅi̖̟̫ͪͨ͊͊́ͅͅs ͚̩̟̐ͦͩ̔ͅz̰̫̦̹͖̙ͅḁ̗̬̪̪̰̋̐̂̈́̑͆l͂̓͐̈́g͖ŏ͓̘̳̝̩͍̯͆̈̎̈̍̚ ̫̞͕̺̣̌ͬ͛͋̿t̤̰͍̼̘͖͈́̇̄̂ͭͬͮe̘͖̠̠̓̊ͤ̅x͉͙͎͈ͩ̂̉͂t͙̞̣̖͖̀̎̽ͮ̇.͎̣̤6
-
[9:10]
CTO (works as a team lead): You here?
Me: Yes 👍
CTO: After doing X, Y and Z I broke X. That should not happen. You do understand, that this is not a good UX?
Me (asked CTO X amount of times to hire a a good designer, because I’m not): Well, we made the backend receive Y when X is triggered so B can be passed. I can tell the user to do Y in order to do Z.
CTO: NO, you will not. Do what I’ve said.
DUDE WTF? YOU FUCKING 🐎 I WILL BLOW YOU BRAINS WITH MY MORNING NAUSEA AND DIARRHOEA. FUCKING DIPSHIT ALLOWS HIS BAD MOOD AFFECT OTHER EMPLOYEES. HOW THE FUCK YOURE A CTO.
IM NOT GOING TO REWRITE THE CENTER PIECE OF OUR APPLICATION IN A DAY, WHICH TOOK US MONTHS TO MAKE. FUCK OFF
Monday, hurray 🥳 -
This occurred on a company wide chat
Developer: Getting an error insufficient space on disk when uploading to server, any clues?
CTO: Let me Google the error a second.
Not sure if he was joking...2 -
Wooaaah job offer as cto and shareholer in startup... or senior developer in established business.
How can i even make that choice.7 -
Hope you all are surviving well
Few changes here and there in my life and staying away from lots of things including DR. Not technically a rant but kinda a summary of my current life story.
- broke up with gf (to be precise, I dumped her because I don't wanna have a RS anymore). Pretty bad thing for her and she is still having a hard time accepting it.
- took a second job, part-time.
- trying to get few more part-time/consultant kind of jobs.
- step down from CEO/CTO position at my business and trying to focus just to be a better CTO.
- 80% of sale teams resigned or asked them to resign.
- found a new investor but no cash received yet.
- have to touch nodejs (at the part-time job).
- left side eyelid is twitching pretty frequently lately.
Not much. That's about it. Now let me check what the heck are you all up to lately.22 -
So reviewing another companies framework, colleague came across a 'banging tween' but didn't know what it was so googled turns out a tween is a person aged 9-14, he is now likely on many police watch lists. But he asks a couple of us on a Skype chat, one guy simply copies and pastes the definition of banging, I see his source says buffet is a synonym for 'bang' so I comment without thinking much:
"Would you like a bang? I certainly wouldn't use that sentence for would you like a buffet". Then I see the CTO typing I forgot he was in the chat and start to sweat oh s£#@ what have I done well I'm a gonna.
CTO: "'Me and my wife like a bang in the kitchen' seems alright to me". - made my day. -
Me and the unofficial CTO (3rd party's CTO) are interviewing an ios dev. (I'm an android dev, btw)
CTO: In your view, would you find developing an ios app would be faster or at the same speed as an android dev?
Me: *shock*
Canidate: I've never developed on Android before, but I'd think it would be the same speed. We both need to make screens, views, and type code.6 -
Other people : save money to buy car, house, etc...
Me : save money to pay for this f*cking degree where 80% of what they taught will be useless after graduation.
: /4 -
Me : "I need to stop geeking out about security because I have exams and need to write a report"
Me 2 hours later : "Ooooo.. what's this cool article about?Let's check it out 😎"2 -
I really hate it when I try to be careful with disclosing information of my employer in a rant on Reddit but the CTO who fires me go there and replies in full detail in an attempt to shame you. http://archive.is/sfP00
Because I have bigger balls (or a small brain, depending how you see it) I'll leave the post on but with my response to his comment on my thread as anybody may dig my Reddit account before hiring me for a job.
And yes, he is the same guy I refer in this past rant https://devrant.com/rants/1089376/...
It fucking sucks that the CTO will sleep safe and sound and I can't do much than looking for another job and contribute to FLOSS projects while I build new stuff to improve my skills all this while money is running out. I'm glad I'm living with my parents after this shit hit the fan, less stuff to worry about, but this is not life.13 -
I have a new Job as a full stack developer, so Im here to tell my story, you see,I told my boss today that im quitting,
Which he replies by telling me to wait, to see if he can get the CTO to pay me more,
now the CTO sais, "HE IS ONLY A BACK END DEVELOPER, HE'S NOT THAT IMPORTANT, I THING WE ARE PAYING HIM MORE THAN ENOUGH" So I said fuck him and left :D4 -
If this isn't the worst thing.
I was asked to develop a WordPress plugin as an intern developer and I've been on it since last week. I got stuck when i finally had the loops running but couldn't find a way to format the output without overwriting the existing values on each iteration.
For the last one week I've been showing the progress on my code to the CTO and this is how it has been.
Me: Hello. Everything is coming along fine, I have most of the functions running properly, do you mind looking into the algorithm?
CTO: Oh not at all, let's see what you got. Omg great code for an intern. I think you should add a new variable there and maybe clean up that function over there because it's deprecated now and yeah HaHa, Great work.
Me: Thanks xD I'll have it finished latest next week.
CTO: Oh great. I can't wait to see what you'd have by next week so we can install it on our WordPress.
*Next finally week comes and I'm done with the code.
Me: Hello, I'm done with the entire code! Want to take a look? The plugin works just exactly as described.
*CTO takes a look
CTO: Omg?
Me: Omg?
CTO: This is completely bad programming practice, so you are running 4 nested loops that all send queries to our data base and make changes to data. This would have a very drastic effect on the server considering the traffic we get.
Me: But you saw this exact code last week and said it was okay, I only changed some CSS since the last time.
CTO: Omg, we can't accept this, you have to develop it again from the scratch without using those loops and queries.
Me: What? Okay, fine. Any hints?
CTO: Yes.
Me: What?
CTO: Just start. That's the greatest hint I could ever give. And also, always have a plan before you begin.
Me: Yeah, thanks for those. It's the first time I'm hearing them and they would totally be applicable to building this thing.2 -
I could write 20 pages ranting but it can be summarized in a few words that describe the situation pretty well:
My 'CTO' doesn't understand basic OO principles (say, inheritance) nor functional programming.3 -
CTO s shouldn't write software once there are more than 50 devs in the company. They shouldn't make tech decisions. It is time for you to back off and help with more important things. We really need you to get process nailed down. We really need you to help us understand business better. Not writing code.1
-
First it was the "set up WampServer so the client can use our database", to which I told her we should use an embedded database, to which she told me to do.
Then the "Just give the client a .jar file and install the JRE in his laptop" to wich I told her we can make a native installer, to which she fucking assigned to me.
Then the whole fucked up management thing with no design whatsoever and the "we don't need version control".
To just a few hours earlier, when she got mad because I set up a Slack for us to exchange information easily, she told me she was already mad because I shared the project by Google Drive and that she worked in security and knows the risk... AND AT THE SAME TIME, she uses Gmail to share the project.. BRILLIANT !7 -
Again I ended working for a company where people love to pride themselves because they're 'agile'.
Basically they bought A JIRA license, that's all.
The CTO decides the estimates privately.
He assign the stories.
No idea what's a retrospective.
The sprint ends whenever he wants.
No CI.
New stories continuosly added to the active sprint.
That's the risk of agile, unchecked power.3 -
Being called into a meeting where you get fired for an argument you had with your CTO. But the CTO left 6 months ago and the sales department are suspiciously low on deals in the pipeline...
Shame really, I loved that job and the Dev team was great, shame the directors were bastards.2 -
My mom (a single mother who had to feed 4 kids) feed me, let me stay in her house (at least until I was 21) and let me use the motorcycle.
Instead of running away and giving up her children to child institution (because that's probably what I will do being a selfish person that I am)
If that's not support, I don't know what that is anymore.
It might not be much but at least it gave me the time to grew up and be independent to pursue my dream of working in IT.
Her strength and toughness facing the hard life is also the main inspiration for me to keep going, to prove that I can do whatever I want if I put enough effort on it.1 -
Me working in High Performance Computing :
CPU/GPU in full throttle ... go brrrr...
Me working on an app:
Should put sleep() in the while loop so as not to overwork the CPU
😑😑2 -
so I left uni after my PhD and joined a start up where the boss is a Cambridge grad who does coding and is like 50 years old (he never told us the true value), the CTO is very talented and another dev who quickly became my best friend and me doing data science. the 4 of us worked together like friends and the efficiency was fantastic, there's no bureaucracy bullshit or shit boss talks. We built the whole thing from scratch (okay I admit they did most of the building) and to this day, we work just has we have been.
-
CTO for the picture.
This is so real, people are having a bad time because of the covid-19, productivity could be affected by this, my colleagues are having a hard time since they cant realy separate work from work anymore, the situation is hard as it is, i hope we all get through this.
Please Give Loving Comments below so i can show this to my dev/non dev friends that are having a hard time.12 -
When your coworker quits and the CTO (in an attempt to smooth things over) tells you (an engineer) "Don't sweat it, Engineers are replaceable."2
-
my CTO is on 2 week vacation, guess what he did on his last day...
installed a camera with a microphone in our office. coincidentally right near the devs...
i'm afraid to talk with my colleagues...7 -
We are a small company, and our CEO and CTO attends our daily standups(not sure why)
At the end our CTO, after a little discission with our PM, goes: “This” is more importent and should be gone first - its money to the company.
Pm: Fine but then “that” wont be worked on for now.
Cto: ohh okay, but “this” is really importent, so do it first.
Standup done, people returns to work.
1 minut later, Cto comes into the dev room.
Cto: “something else” is also really really importent.
Pm: ok, so then we do “something else” instead and we will put “this” on standby for now.
Cto: and remember “operation” has the highest priority of all.
For fuck sake... just pick one or decide what it is you want....
Cto has no clue to what he is doing. Does not have a long term plan, other then get money into the company based on really short term goals.
Easy to say im not his biggest fan, and I am a 100% sure he knows this.5 -
Those of you who like "The Imitation Game", you probably want to check out "Hidden Figures" (2016). It's on Netflix now.
About a team of female African-American mathematicians who wanted to "break the glass ceiling" in NASA.
- Dorothy : conquered the (recently acquired) IBM frameworks using Fortran and taught her team to program it
- Mary : appealed to court to be allowed to study in a all-white school to get her qualification to be an aerospace engineer
- Katherine : her skills in analytical geometry enabled her to be the first female African-American in the Space Task Group in calculating the momentous capsule launch into orbit
My lazy ass just can't fathom how someone who deals with so much math and pressure can still smile to their family after work. My grumpiness nature will surely turn me into a monster.
And now I know what "human computers" means.5 -
I want to be the CTO in ten years. I'm 25 now, and think it's possible. My former boss was the CTO and he inspired the hell out of me to work hard and invest in myself. I have a lot to learn but I'm eager to figure it out.4
-
My CTO strongly discourages working from home because he insists that "leaning over to the next cube to ask a question" is far better than sending a message, email or making a phone call. He went as far as saying it takes too much effort to do the latter... How is interesting someone while they're working more efficient???10
-
If I have the same privileges (time, money, connections, environments, energy etc) that they have, I will surely achieve 3x more.
I am not trying to find an excuse, that's the reality. I already achieved way more than most people with the same background. I should be proud of myself, and other people who think otherwise can go fuck themselves.
༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ3 -
I was mentoring a group of students and helping them with their graduation project. I taught them NodeJS, MongoDB & few other things.
One time, one of them came to show me her code, and it has the weirdest and most bizarre structure ever!
I asked her, “who told you to structure your code like that? This is wrong! I didn’t teach you this way!”.
She replies: “<<a local shitty tech startup name>>’s CTO”
When I searched about him, he’s a civil engineer who founded a startup and assigned himself as CTO with no technical background or knowledge whatsoever! FFS students believe that he’s a real CTO and started learning from him 😑 His code was so bad in every way that a fresh would write a better code!5 -
So i heard from my friend that CTO had asked Android team to make the app be able to root the phone upon installation.
Dude wtf are you smoking?!2 -
Hi everyone
I'm currently an intern in a startup
I started 3 months ago and I will finish in 1-2 months
From the beginning, all the team is very nice with me and say that I do a really great job
I could learn many many things and I can say my ideas during the project
This is a message to CEO/CEO, you see, if you offer a really good internship with interesting tasks and technologies, student like me are really motivated, want to learn, want to really participe to the project even if I do more hours than I have to do
Because we, students, are like you : interested in new technologies and great ideas
Offer good internship and you will be happy to have good and motivate intern in your Company
Thank you! -
so our CTO wants to tell us a inspirational story but starts like "You developers create bugs...." wanted to shoot myself of his great self in the head1
-
Submitting my changes for review and my CTO catches the line:
```js
console.log("It fucking works")
```7 -
Which of the following can successfully lead a company for digital transformation?
A) CEO
B) CTO
C) Covid193 -
Friends were having great and fun time last night partying after (also) last week partying.
And now someone's having friends over for dinner in the shared kitchen.
While here I am hours staring at my screen trying to break the algorithm.
: /
______________________________
Me : Enough with coding! I need social life!
5 min later :
*Checking devrant and reddit/programminghumor2 -
Last week I got told by an incoming CTO, a week old to the organisation, that I'm good for nothing and unable to produce any work. He told me that he'll replace me and put me in a team where I'm more resourceful as I have been consistently underperforming. (He doesn't understand data science yet fyi) Then, he informed he's hiring 5 new teams members.
Me (junior data scientist) being really passionate about work was shook to hear this. So much so that it took me a week to even recover from it. I have considered counselling sessions too.
Week later, 5 new team members decide to flip his offer and not join. Another existing senior member decides to leave as well. Meanwhile, major issues in existing systems emerge and only I could solve the same. Still haven't heard back any from him though.
Is this the industry standard though ? Is this how CTOs normally function ? Throwing shit at people without knowing their value or valuing their efforts ? Especially with junior developers. It's only been 2 years in this profession and I've not met more than 3 genuine and helpful people. Maybe it's just my organization.9 -
Intend to help a friend to find out what's wrong with a software installation in his laptop today...
But forgot that his Windows installed in Chinese version... how am I supposed to help.... (; _ ;)
I can't read Chinese... can't even find how to open Control Panel...
_________________________________
My native language is not English, but I always have all my techies set up in English.8 -
The whole dev community.
Those who have dedicated time and energy to share solutions, tricks, bug-solving ideas, codes that I can steal; teach me patiently even though I am slow, cheer me up when I am down because I'm stuck debugging for hours, brighten me up with programming jokes when I am sad.
Those who have allowed me to earn good money in the field that I really enjoy.
Yeah, including you 😘 -
Here's how it usually goes:
1) I estimate the different aspects of the assignment to the best of my abillities, based on customer criteria and information. I come up with an realistic estimate for development and testing.
2) My PM runs the numbers through an algorithm. It adds time for other stuff, but its all still very fair and in tune.
Now to the fucked up part.
3) My ceo and cto looks at the estimate, and he will just turn on every possible button and twist the estimate into what he thinks he can get the customer to pay🤢🤮
This ends in the customer saying - no thank you.
He comes back to us and does not understand why they declined.
Idiot! -
Reviewing the code of my then new CTO, who said "I can also code and have experience in Java" - 50 lines of code, I added over 30 comments to his Pull Request. In the end, I rewrote his complete code.2
-
Friends/Seniors : "Hey, you should take these courses. They are easy and you can get easily an A!"
Who the fuck decide what optional courses to take based on if it's easy or not?!
Students take them because :
a. They are interested in the subjects
b. Knowledge/skills after attending the courses will be beneficial for future career.
I put my money more on option b though, i.e I'd rather get C's in courses that I found it useful, than getting A's in useless courses.
(Btw, my avg grade is just a little above Cs)
If my sole purpose was just to get straight A's, I would enroll in liberal art courses instead of this stressing half-CS course we're in.
You're a joke to yourself, that's why I don't hang out with you.3 -
Every general meeting with a CEO who has never tried the freaking product or prototype and has zero technical knowledge.
As well, just about two out of three meetings with a HR person.
I've had meetings with a CTO too where it legit could be a boring handbook or email used for inducing sleep at night.3 -
Submitted my first proposal for a freelance gig and didn't win the bid but I don't feel bad about it. Asked for feedback and it turns out I lost because the dev who they chose had a recommendation from someone the CTO (decision maker) highly respected. He loved my proposal and appreciated my efforts on it and my bid was marginally lower than the dev they chose.
Overall it was a positive experience and I may have established a good report with the CTO in the process. -
Not sure if this should be a proper rant about the reasons behind this, or a simple 'so much win' situation..
CTO asked how I'm doing with task xy.. my answer: mostly should be fixed, but I'm trying to figure out this zz thing.. It is so fucked up, I can't make sense of it.. before I could really finish the sentence CTO was like: shut up, don't tell me about it, we know, just please fix it..can you fix it? Please say yes..and don't talk about this anymore.. 😂😂😂6 -
!Rant
CTO: "We have a project that is the top most priority get it done"
CTO: "We have some tickets logged for another project get them fixed this is of the highest priority"
CTO: "I want a new feature in another project I want this done now It is top priority!"
Next day, Client comes in CTO shows him around
CTO: "You are still working on this!"
... Arg, its as if the guy thinks giving something a top priority gets it done instantly3 -
So I recently started a new job and there's a boot camp as part of the on boarding process. I'm new to scala, I have python and golang backend experience.
During the scala session, the CTO shows us some examples and gives us an exercise to create a Todo REST API with user authentication, then goes to a meeting.
He was using a library called "bacon" in one of his examples, so we were busy struggling to get shit to work and googling "how to do x with scala bacon lib" with no results and we finally gave up.
CTO comes back 30 minutes later and wants to see to how far we got, so we ask him about this bacon lib only to find out that it's their own awesome framework. &$!#% -
My CTO uses an array instead of objectto keep list of items with random numerical keys. I told him you’re creating multiple unintended undefined members in between, he said: yeah that’s how silly JavaScript is :-|2
-
Some years ago but it's funny.
The company give to me a new laptop with windows Home Edition,
After few months I have installed Pro Version.
1 month later the laptop didn't work anymore, nothing on display, no beeps, zero.
Tried to replace ram and check but nothing works.
The CTO asked the supplier and they asked about SO, and they said it's not turning ON because i have installed Windows Pro.
Than the CTO had a brilliant idea: try put the hard disk in another laptop and install Windows Home, and put back in the defective one. I refused to to that, it's stupid and he insisted, then I put the laptop in his desk and I said: if you want do this you can do, im not stupid enough to do this.
He got really mad, 1 week later i got a brand new one 😅5 -
I am in the mood for anything at 11 PM-5 AM.
Cleaning the house, studying, coding ...
Juices of ideas, energy and focus are just overflowing.
Too bad that I have to follow "normal people" schedule which starts at 9 AM.
:/4 -
I sometimes hate my boss (CTO in a medium sized company). Despite that he is a real genius, he changes his mind every fucking day, only because he has 'thought through' a fucking problem which should not be in his concerns. That is my job you fucktard! You haven't been coding for 20 years and now you tell me how to do my job. But then when I need valuable input from you, you SKIP my scheduled MEETINGS FOR WEEKS!
JUST LET ME DO MY JOB, I'M NO IDIOT, BUT YOU GIVE ME THAT FEELING THAT I AM ONE!1 -
In the interview process for my current job, I was tasked with multiple small tasks one of which was an AI task (easy one though). Now, most of my work is making the text size smaller so the content can fit in one page as the CTO wants.
I never said I was UI engineer let alone a frontend engineer. Also, there's no design to follow. Damn that.6 -
I hate corporate doublespeak.
A CTO was fired after 2 years at the position because he insisted on some projects that didn't stick and were not profitable for the company. The word spread throughout the corridors that he was destroyed by the CEO in a board meeting, and soon after he left. The HR sent an e-mail right away for the entire IT sector THANKING him by "the invaluable effort in bringing in important projects to the company that raised the tecnology to the next level".
Oh, come on.3 -
Team lead: guys, we need to brainstorm on feature X. We can have this service do blah blah..., have a cache at blah blah...
Me: I think it's too complicated. We can simplify the design by doing blah blah... and measure the performance as we go, let's not do premature optimization.
Team lead: no, we definitely need this. We'll pitch this to the CTO later
*Later when we meet the CTO*
Team lead: Hi Mr CTO, about feature X, we're gonna do this blah blah... what do you think?
CTO: *basically repeats what I said*
Team lead: Thank you for the insights, really helpful. We will do as you suggest.
WHAT THE FUCK?5 -
Company uses legacy "Web app" which only runs on an old version of Internet explorer. CTO told us to use a Windows VM since we have mac to run it. All for a website..... Ahhhh4
-
For the love of GOD, if you're an architect or someone in the position where you can make drastic changes to the overarching design of a software system, if you're so keen on enforcing something "cool" just because you've read about it in a blog post/seen it on a youtube video, READ ABOUT IT THOROUGHLY, as in, pick up a fucking book or do actual research. An architect overseas just informed us that a whole legacy PHP application (a fucking monolith with a dysfunctional database, yes, I think someone demented designed it) should be rewritten to a microservice architecture (without a messaging broker, just plain API interaction through HTTP) AND WE'RE KEEPING THE DATABASE WHICH BEGS TO BE PUT DOWN FOR GOOD. So now we're gonna have a clusterfuck of tons of PHP microservices (Q_Q) which interact through plain HTTP APIs (swagger's gonna be put to a test) and all have a single broken database in the center. Talk about a microlithic design. Jesus Christ.9
-
!rant
Hello World!
Just wanted to ask about the best souvenirs in Munich, Germany?
Our CTO is currently having a consultancy work in Munich, and would like to let him repay his debts for not delivering deliverables on time or should I spank his butt instead? So much for his demands and ignorance! 🤔 😈
Or any recommendations that could be of help?
Danke!2 -
When your CTO has full access to the production servers and makes SQL changes directly without following process. Then breaks production and tells everyone "this is why we need to follow process!". Then proceeds to break it again hours later.
-
I was having a discussion with my Spv because I am stuck at my project, when suddenly he said :
"Hey, you seem to enjoy this subject!"
And I was just standing there speechless..
🤨
Excuse you...
I spent so much time than required in the contract because I'm getting paid and more importantly because I can put this experience in my portfolio.
Not because I enjoy this job.
I'd rather work on my personal project, preparing for job interview or playing with my cats if I have another choice.
He is a nice guy and has helped me a lot, but in the end it's all about the money.
Or maybe because I have a hard time trusting people these days.
I can't wait to start job hunting next month so that I can say goodbye to this job.1 -
The moment when your CEO freaks out because he can’t login and starts insulting your architecture because he thinks its a caching issue even though it is a cookie issue because his CTO changed the domain on your cookie for no reason.2
-
...What a day ,
"CTO new priority need this project started and completed ASAP."
Me: "What about my current project you wanted me to work on that was a high priority which took over Another project I was supposed to be working on?"
CTO: "This one is a higher priority than both of them"
Me: "ok sure shall get onto it".
PM: "A client has come in with an issue on another project I need this fixed now".
Team leader assigns me a bunch of tasks that need to get done which is ok but 5 people need me to get it done so they can do the bulk of their work.
Later for a side project CTO asks me to get a list together of things that are missing for this side project, about 60 seconds later he asks me to send him the email now - bare in mind nearly 300 assets I need to go through which are not organised so what the heck I just send him it mid sentence.
End of day get told that CTO wants me on yet another different project...
Each of these projects takes 4 months to get done. But arggggg... oh and then I hear that our new PM has decided to cut all project deadlines by half....
I am but a single person,
I just want to sit back and watch everything burn around me... But the company has a history of Scape goating people on failed project deadlines... Never a dull day in the office but tbh kinda like it. -
CTO/CEO (previous place) - we're not production engineers, so we're going to fork your code base and move way faster than all of you and then you can maintain it. Doesn't that sound inspiring?
25% of the company: ha... Here's our 2 week notice.2 -
Some tech from our ISP decided to fiddle with our connection during stand up. Our CTO is all up in his business, trying to figure out what the issue is. The tech is being pushed more and more away as our devops people join in on the chaos. Meanwhile I'm having coffee and looking forward to lunch.. Can't test if I don't have access to the server.
-
The reason why I like to code alone in the dark is so that people cannot see my dumb mistakes such as 'forgetting to hit run after compile and wasting 10 min wondering why my code didn't show on the console'.
: /1 -
My first time doing a pair-programming for uni assignment.
My partner is actually smart (a Mechanical Engineering guy), except when it comes to programming :
1. Don't know how to spell FALSE
2. Don't know how to create array in Matlab
3. Poor variable naming
4. Redundant code everywhere
5. Not using tabs
6. Stealing my idea and spit it again in my face after claiming it as his idea
7. Mansplaining every line of his code like I am a stupid person who never sees a computer before.
He said he has an experience in Matlab, wants to specialize in Robotics and taking several ML classes. What did they teach anyway in class to produce a shitty programmer like him?
Thankfully despite his being an arrogant shitty guy, he still manage to get our code to works.
That's good because if not, then I will happily push his head under water while slowly watching him drown.
🤨8 -
The CTO was on stage at the annual employee meeting. After some time he said:"well,I never wanted to hire X and Y. They're doing nothing but nonsense and the technic they are using is nothing but a hype."
The technic he talked about: Java, object oriented programming and cloud applications...4 -
You know what really grinds my gears?
When the CTO inserts himself into your development workflow even though he hasn't programed, let alone touched the keyboard in about 40 years. -
I just bought my laptop last year.
But I already crash it several times due to my horrendous C++ programs.
Lifespan is greatly reduced.
/*Please bear with me, sweety!
At least, until graduation!*/
: /5 -
Fuck start ups with large projects with no continous integration setup on git... and very many junior devs including the CTO(Not even a googling guru).... for fucks sake we cant deliver spaghettis as iF we are coding a restauRANT... fuck this shit load of a project....4
-
Guys, serious question.
I work in a startup as a cto. We have a very low budget and considering hiring people offshore.
Does anyone have some experience in hiring and piloting a remote team? Would you recommend it?11 -
What I want to write :
//TODO : Parallelized this sh*t ???
What I actually write :
//TODO : Parallelized this part later if possible (i.e after checking if overhead doesn't cost too much)
Sigh.. I want to add more of my personality in my code.
: /2 -
Having a CTO who was a strong backend developer, has zero understanding of UI/ UX and frontend part of code is funny as hell, weird and scary at the same time.2
-
After trying 4 different versions of installation, applying patch, digging through obscure sites, down the rabbit hole, finally
ERROR at 97%
(; _ ;)
Back-up plan : Forget everything... buy land somewhere in the in the mountain and be a farmer.2 -
I was doing an asset management project for the CTO of a small company in ASP.NET and the CTO decided to stick his crap smeared fingers into the development because he 'developed' a completely different AS/400 system which everyone complained was like having a dog smear it's balls all over your screen while taking a dump on your keyboard. Fucking idiot would have given me 2 weeks extra work with all the shit he broke if it wasn't for version control.
-
Hey, just joining devrant and find it so much funnier than
https://reddit.com/r/...
Reddit is a funny site but I find it more and more boring..1 -
"The MVC framework is just a hype, we dont need to refactor our ASP.NET webshop" - former CTO
Dudeee, its a pattern not a framework, ever heard of 'single responsibily' instead of these monolithic 8000 line helper classes!3 -
My current boss.. and CTO.. both are great & really laid back, they don't fuss about smoke breaks and are both keeping me in line so that I don't do much overtime (I am a freak for fixing stuff that gets easily consumed by the code)..
-
New CTO.
New CTO pushes policy change to all browsers to open Facebook Workplace on every new tab and as start page.
Locks option to change it.
This also kills restoring tabs from past session.
New CTO handles the complaints
'It's fine to complain, we don't even have to agree. If this is important to you, then come up with a suggestion on how to solve this for all our employees. Business equirement is that one page is shown at startup, that's it. This has nothing to do with Workplace.'16 -
Once I had an interview where in the last part the cto of the bank asked me a question about the history of my country instead of a appropriate programming one. Of course I couldn't answer and got nervous but I still want to punch that motherfucker in the face.
-
!rant
So, recently new CTO joined.
And suggested to migrate our entire platform on GO from PHP.
And all dev teams will get new macs.
Its gonna take more 3-4 months so.
Kind of exicted to work on.7 -
Hmm... Okay crazy deadlines. We hacked together a really makeshift application to handle streaming content to end users. The proof of concept was demonstrated to a partner company on a Wednesday. They said they wanted it on Saturday. Our CTO agreed. We didn't sleep.2
-
CTO at my previous company think that wordpress based website is took a long time to load.
I suggest to use caching and fix ton of abusive query, He refused. He spun up more VM, upgrade the ec2 instance level to the max. Said that he resolved the problem. But the problem still persist actually.
Blame me for slow response website, blame me for late of deployment because data is not ready ( there's a lot of spam in there, we need to clean it before )
I left the company, Coworker said that he just install a bunch of caching plugin,
He made the website down for entire day and don't understand what is happening. Ask other developer to fix it quickly, to do unpaid overime
The site is back to bussiness, said to all team that he already fixed it.
Everything good happened, he claimed that it was his idea.
And the best part is : he put 'ssh' as skill list in his personal site1 -
I have had a meeting with "CTO" of pretty big factory. I was suppose to propose a new cloud solution for existing Sharepoint application. Unfortunately we didn't get into any agreement , because the dude only accepts SharePoint solutions and when I started talking about the cloud, he literally went nuts. He later have told me that he has been working here for over 20 years. The technical staff of that factory is just him and some other young guy and they only task they doing is to maintain complex Sharepoint infrastructure. If we hosted application in the cloud, he would lost his job.1
-
So my co-founder, tried to outdo my equity in the company, by asking me to give up percentage of our equity for his father, so that he could have the leverage.
He is not talking to me since then,
When I said politely to piss off.
Just because you are a techie people try to abuse you
Any advice ?9 -
Spot what's wrong with this command!
It took me 10 minutes scratching head to find it out. This is why we still need to use our brain when copy paste-ing code.
😕11 -
So, a few friends of mine are starting a company. They'll be the CEO, CTO etc. The product is an app, with its corresponding back end in the cloud. They want me to build the app.
1. I'm not willing to take risk - spending time on that (not my idea at the first place & may or may not go well)
2. Not sure if I'll be benefitted. (Monetary / stake)
3. I have few projects at hand & have plans to learn something more/new (not narrow down only to apps).
What should I do guys?? Recommendations??11 -
I like a Product Manager/Owner/CTO who invites coffee when a dev burnout. This is not a story, a hope seems to be.2
-
...This algo can predict new thermoelectric material discoveries years in advance...
Me to all material scientists : "Work harder or we'll replace you with AI".
https://techxplore.com/news/...
P.S : I also need to work harder as I barely know the surface of Linear Regression.1 -
CEO offers me a position
CTO sends me 7 logical interview questions, including asking me to write a program that converts binary to decimal in Node...2 -
CTO pointed out a typo in my branch. Agreenment.
I think I'll have to search for a new workplace 😢4 -
So the company I work at is moving to a new location. We are a small company, so we were all talking about potential problems with the move - network, internet, firewalls, access to servers and so on. Us trying to cover all possible scenarios.
Our CTO looks up and says: “or we could just cross our fingers and hope for best”.
WTF🤯2 -
From our CTO:
"As cheesy as it may sound, if you want things to change, you need to be the change"
I was able to build a team based on that, now our team is looked at as the "cool team" in the company.1 -
The time that I felt most like a Dev badass was when I had introduced an E2E test framework and added a bunch of helper classes to it so that our QA team could pick it up and write automated tests for the manual tests they had been doing for years.
Sure, the whole department got laid off after that because we had gotten a new CTO and all of my work was essentially for naught, but it made a lot of people enjoy showing up to work for the first time in a long time, and that was what mattered most to me -
Get given two asset packs for a project I confirm with project lead, project manager and CTO which one they want to use. They then confirm with client and they all decided asset pack 2. Ok great, 3 months later week before deadline "we need asset pack 1 used instead"... Different resolution, different aspect ratio and now get nagged every few minutes how done is it, and that it's vital we meet the deadline. So close to just walking out that door.
-
The good: dotnet core RTM
The bad: my previous shitty work place, their shitty product, the very shitty TL that had no fucking idea how to lead or manage the team
The ugly: the shit storm I dropped on TL, group leader, CEO/CTO when I left... -
I went to meet a client with our CTO. In the meeting we discuss the implementation of SAML SSO. Their SSO guys asked whether they need to build 2 trusts for our application because we have 2 modules that use SSO. Both the CTO and I were not sure because we did not have any prior experience of integrating SAML SSO. To act professional, we couldn't say we were not sure. So the CTO said we needed two trusts. I immediately added "We may only need one. Let us do a bit of investigation and confirm."
After the meeting I did the investigation and found out we really only needed one. So I sent out an email to tell the client, cc the CTO. 1 minute later I got the email from the CTO "why tell them one when I said two?". When it's an immediate response with only 1 line, I know I'm in trouble. So I called him and was ready to explain to him. I couldn't. Later I found out the time I was calling him, he was talking about this with the CEO.
I thought maybe I can explain to him when he's available. The next morning as I came to work, the CEO asked me to come to his office. He closed the door, and told me the first line the CTO told him the day before was "I want him (me) fired." I was so shocked. Having been working with the CTO for quite a while, I was surprised he said that without even communicating with me. Did I do something that wrong that you don't even bother to tell me what's wrong? I was not fired because the CEO at least asked what happened. He also understood I was actually making a better technical decision. But well, guess I shouldn't be making a decision when I had no power to. And even I believed the client heard my "let me investigate first" comment, the CTO didn't. I still got an unofficial warning. For that whole day because of the stress, I don't remember getting anything done.
Fuck that acting like profession and smart when you are not. I'd go down the path of becoming professional and smart instead. And fuck metting with clients. I'm a dev don't fucking dare to talk to me and get me fired. If you wanna talk, talk to the big guys who don't make us look bad like I did.
If you ask me today I still believe I haven't done anything wrong there. So fuck everything.2 -
So in my company there few small teams all with lead devs. One team is leaded by a girl who changed her profession. She's good at architecture/Dev stuff. But one thing she's terrible at is her leading role. She won't confront any bad behavior, she won't ask about any problem with the tasks. She won't ask her tram how long will the tasks take, so she puts her own valuations.
But the killer is she's whining everyday to the management about her team members. That they didn't do their tasks/don't want to cooperate. Never looking in the eyes even when she whines about a person in the same room.
Another thing is that our CTO is always doing her leading job, confronting team members, giving them reprimends. She lost all her authority by this. Nobody respects her. And after a slight note about her behavior you just gonna get a big talk with CTO and nothing will change.
Another thing is that, she Nevers connect with her team. Don't talk together, won't go with them for the coffee, never at the integration parties.
That CTO connection is another topic...
Oh and I'm by the next month I'm gonna be throwed into her team, so wish me luck...1 -
Should a CTO be responsible for the technological vision and strategy, and know what the product architecture and infrastructure looks like?
We currently have a person as a CTO who seems to have none of this handled, and instead he seems to rely on senior developers, and ops people, to provide the information, including vision for the future. These people can't effectively do anything to drive the product in that direction, because other people are responsible for resources and prioritization.5 -
Moved to a totally new city to start a new job, thought it'll be amazing as the company is good. Came and saw a bunch of motherfuking smokers who smoke at the main gate of the office, the HR does not respond to my queries, doesn't have time to interact with a new recruit, and I have still got no company mail or email id. And oh, I have the entire GitHub access and the android code cloned on MY PERSONAL COMPUTER, the rights to which were given by the CTO himself.
Guess what, time to say bye to this shit. I'm moving back.3 -
My master thesis is in ramble.
What I thought to be an achievable task in the beginning turns out to be very challenging.
My skill is not up to it.
The assistant prof I worked with is also not very helpful. I thought he's already familiar with the lib I will work with, turns out he's not so I have to study it by myself.
Me : **Asking question A**
Him : **Explaining B, C, D that's not really related to A. My question went unanswered.
Him giving me explanation on things that I already knew**
Me : "How about this code? Can we please focus on the code?!"
Him : **Finally explains the code so I can move forward a little**
Apparently I have to grow fangs and horns to scare people to give me what I want. :/
He and my prof are not in sync about how to solve the task.
They told me that even though I was behind my deadline (30% progress at 50% time), I still have some time before the deadline of the thesis.
The truth is, if I no longer believe that I can solve it, even if they gave me a time extension, it's going to be useless.
My motivation of finishing it is fading away. It's not a subject that I enjoy, the people I work with are not helpful.
I have been in depression for 2 months, and it's taking a toll on my health.
I am seriously considering dropping it and just let go of my master degree. There are many people who can work in IT even though they don't have proper formal education eh?9 -
1 CEO, 3 CTO and 2 Polytechnicien (French engineers from a big French school)
They all deserved that their project called "life" were cancelled. It's a clear and indisputable failure! -
from Windows host->run Ubuntu container A
-> from Ubuntu container A, run Ubuntu container B
-> from Ubuntu container B, run Ubuntu container C
-> from Ubuntu container C, run Ubuntu container D
-> ....
Recursion-mode ON16 -
This phising email I just received in my yahoo account almost got me fooled with the very convincing email design, but thankfully the culprit didn't smart enough to spoof his email address.
Ohh and they attach a suspicious pdf file too despite the message didn't say anything about attachment.
Apparently the spam detector in yahoo is not very good as this one was received in my main inbox.2 -
Pissed af at my idiot teammates for dragging down my project grades. But I believe this won't be the last time as there are more idiots out there.
I need the credits to graduate .. sigh...
: /3 -
My current CTO. He manages everything without much stress. Also, he taught me how to handle many difficult situations in the past years. Finally he's a workaholic and this drove me to always improve myself in order to refine and increase my skills.
-
CTO sends out a mandatory meeting invite for "Company Culture." No further information provided, scheduled the day before, and everyone is expected to drop everything to go to it... I think the meeting is unnecessary, this has said enough about the "culture".3
-
Friend : Have you take a look at this part? We will discuss it this Friday.
What I want to say :
"Don't underestimate my ability to procrastinate, sleep on my problem, run away from my responsibilities, and don't give a sh*t about everything."
What I actually said:
"Of course but I will look at it again thoroughly."
_______________________
Maybe my frustration and depression are not showing enough on my face.
: /1 -
In my PR :
Senior dev A : "You should change the format according to <link to coding standard>"
Me : "But it doesn't mention anywhere about that format. <senior dev who wrote the standard> also agrees with me. Other reviewers also already approved."
Senior dev A : **proceed to give me an example from a file that's not even in the PR scope**
Me : "I cannot find that file in my PR"
Senior dev A : **give me another example example from my PR**
Me : "Okay I missed that, I am gonna fix it, but other files are already using consistent format. I have already merged changes for 500 files using this format, and I still have 400 files to go.
Do you really want me to revert the changes from 500 files?" :/
Senior dev A : "I don't want to be your enemy, I just want to make our codebase better"
Me : **Mad because he took this personally.**
**I don't want to be your enemy either. I also care about the codebase. I just want to finish this ticket ASAP instead of implementing your cosmetic changes that's not even in the standard so that I can work on another ticket that will have more impact to the company**
Senior dev A : "Ok, I will approve it, just add some whitespaces"
Me : 🤦♀️
I sometimes think that some senior dev just want to flex when they're reviewing PR.
They just want to let people know they wield the power.9 -
Guys, im in a recruitment process and monday will be the last interview with the CTO.
The position is for a Senior .NET Developer.
The HR told me its a DESIGN INTERVIEW
What the heck?
Design what? UML? No idea, never seen this before3 -
Advices looking for a job in Canada as a foreign?
I've been a software developer for 4 years now. I started in small company in Rome as jr developer where I'm now the CTO... I now feel stuck in this job cause the company makes a lot of money from the core product and there is no room for innovation.
I was looking for a drastic change in my life and career and Canada seems a good place to me.
So, any advices?9 -
CTO needed me to add the some more functionality to a specific script and then test it out on the main site. 2 days later, I have it working from the command line, but it won't respond to the site. After some digging, I find out the script he pointed me to isn't even in use and the script that actually needs to be modified is like 1500 lines long and set up entirely different than the one I had already finished. Back to the drawing board.
-
OMG!!!!!!!
CTO of a firm is taking my interview for a summer internship profile. I am so excited and afraid, it will be a 15 min telephonic interview.
Any advises??5 -
when CTO says we need to start writing exactly how long we worked on specific project and explain what exactly we did in that time.
I don't wanna keep track of my every minute spent..
I did not sign up for this sh!t...4 -
It seems like everyone else in my team except me and the cto are using dark theme. I see dark theme is the meta since Sauron. Am i one of the last ones to be using light theme?5
-
Both my actual and previous boss. Egocentric, narcisitic, unfit for their roles, detached from reality, intransigents, etc.
Can't really understand how guys like these become CTO or CTO wannabes when others are more qualified... Whatever... They are smart on taking care of "their" life. <insert shrug here>3 -
When the CTO goes through some code during a meeting and all of a sudden you feel like having Italian food
-
CTO of @ostrovok_ru touched and squished me without my consent back in 2019. I still cry sometimes recalling this experience.
It took a year to tweet this.
https://twitter.com/uyouthe/status/...2 -
When you're looking for the person that wrote over your changes by force pushing and you find out it was your CTO.1
-
Want to become CEO in a big ass megacorp in your 50ties? Read this study.
https://heidrick.com/Knowledge-Cent... -
I work at a small company (4 devs, CTO, a senior, me: mid level, and a new junior dev). Junior and I handle the client projects and the Senior and CTO handle the overall platform and server deployments and such. Our senior dev just gave his 2 weeks notice. I was told they are not replacing him and now ALL of his tasks have been pushed onto me on top of all my already full plate. My issue is, although I am excited to learn about the upper management and deployment stuff, they (CTO and CEO) just dumped all these tasks onto me without even asking if I wanted the added responsibility and also told me there is no monetary bonus for taking it all on. Am I right in being a little mad that I was not even asked if I wanted it and it was just assumed I would handle it all without any bonus or monetary promotion?5
-
My department just installed a new high performance GPU, so :
1. Good bye, my old laptop GPU!
2. Let's play around and break the shiny thing! 😎
(more likely I will be the one who break down due to frustration though 😬)1 -
for (size_t day=0; day < Inf; day++){
printf("I hate you Windows, I am switching to
Linux!");
pause (4hours);
printf("I love you Windows (=^..^=) ");
}2 -
I am just beating around the bush since I started this project, hoping that one day I got lucky and found the shiny solution.
/*sigh*/1 -
I am currently on module has already the passed the sprint and current burnout chart is way far that my CTO will likely burn the chart and I my ass is burning as that module is required by other fellow developers.
Fucking Terraform examples and documentation.
I have been working on it for almost 2 weeks now finally made 80% progress and still 20% burn needed. Kind of deadlock.
I am not sure what to do. Just sit and watch my CTO burns over me. (Definately going to be remark in future engagement with HR) -
As I'm on a research/algorithm improvement project at work I'm working pretty much independently. As such I've set up an automated test framework and writing tests for any piece of code I touch.
Today as I was fixing a bug in production area I was demoing my tests to CTO and principal design engineer. They come from a hardware background and have pushed back against automated tests in the past but they were interested in what I was doing.
I WILL DRAG THEM KICKING AND FUCKING SCREAMING INTO THE WORLD OF AUTOMATED TESTS.1 -
CTO: I want you to take up a side project and push it to production. Atleast 1 per quarter. Also, you have to keep making tiny enhancements to the website on weekends. And it would be great if you can mentor and help the other team with architecture. And, don't you feel itchy that the app you made in that hackathon is not used by any user? Productionize it. Don't forget to update me on your primary task at the end of biweekly sprint, that goes without said.
-
I have a hard desicion to make and I don't know how to choose...
I'll graduate tech uni in a year. I want to work in a start up when I am done. A few days ago my father offered me a position in his company as CTO. Despite the fact that I have ZERO management experience. I'll have to work for him for roughly ten years, then he wants to quit. Do I take the high paying job that I might not enjoy or do I try my luck with a startup/ software company...7 -
That moment when the CTO rants about php and you ask them to name one of their grievances. And they say:
"It doesn't support private properties."
(┛✧Д✧))┛彡┻━┻ -
CTO migrated from AWS S3 and put images on server. The reason is S3 will have downtime from time to time. Should I look for another job?1
-
So im working for this company and we work monday to friday....and i think my CTO is "funny"...we can be free half the week with not much work to do or we actually have completed all the work that was described... but he then comes in friday evening and tells us how everything should be working on monday....what everything?! What fucking everything?!!! Mind you we don't come in saturday or sunday......the everything he is talking about is suggestions we had made to him about how the system should work and he said no....now he thinks its a better thing to do....and he pushes all those refactors on the last day of the week....we had all week nigga what the fuck!!!....
-
My last workplace would fit to that tag quite well.
CTO who was also in charge of firing / laying off people is a code nazi that forced everyone to use some absurd code styling. -
Recruiter writes to me on LinkedIn for a job
Have an interview with the recruiter, everything smooth
Then interview with the HR of the company, everything smooth
Then the HR talks to the CTO, and the CTO is like "mmmmh this guy works as a consultant, I don't like this. Yeet him".
This absolute madman out there not giving a single flying fuck about consultants, head hunter, HR, only pure coding, literally living the dream.1 -
Does anybody here knows an opening for retail job/cleaning services?
I am so fed up with this sh*t I'm working right now.
: / -
"We can't install the latest Win 10 features and security improvement on your PC due to low disk space."
Time to clear up.
Should I delete my hands and feet too?
: /6 -
Wondering, how the education path of CTO looks like? What college and what studies needs CTO to complete? Can someone explain this to me? I can't find anything interesting on the web.16
-
I was a bit confused when my supervisor told me to use Windows VM through Vagrant for testing environment. AFAIK each VM should be treated as a single machine, so it requires a Win license.
There are several criterias for us to be able to use Win WM legally.
One of them is Qualified Multitenant Hoster (QMTH) Program from MS, it authorizes qualified 3rd-party hosting service providers to host customers’ Win VM. Other option is to check if we have on-premise dedicated use rights.
I don't know if we fulfill any of the criteria. I don't want to cause any trouble so I am not gonna ask my supervisor about it.6 -
I was assigned a project which was previously done by another fresher, the project used angular and bootstrap. That fucker wrote custom styles for the fucking bootstrap classes!!! Every time I use "btn-primary" the button won't become blue, it becomes white!! Fuck! He even wrote his own fucking styles for the grid classes!!
I was so frustrated, I had a discussion with my CTO, he told me, that after 3 months, we'll be scraping this and moving to a new frontend. So I'm stuck in this hell for 3 months. -
Is it common to have CTO who don't know shit and yet gets to make the call? What can be done to prevent this imbalance at work?3
-
I work at startup we have CEO, CMO, COO, CFO, but the guy who hired for CTO prefer to be called IT Director (came from corporate), he always busy checkin wifi problem, also he always prefer calendar using whiteboard (did he know google calendar exists?).
-
“Everything fails all the time!”
Werner Vogels
CTO @Amazon.com
"Werner Vogels, fuck you, everywhere, all the time!"
Deviloper
Ranter @devRant -
I was working in a voyager's project in my office, my CTO sent me an sql script to import a basic DB and when I run the project and I try to access to localhost/admin, ¡boom!, amazing exception.
I forgot type composer install in the project XD I felt very noob in that moment -
okay so I already did one of these but I totally blanked about the actual best worst
Best
Got offer to be CTO of a local charity
Worst
Funding fell through, so it didn't happen -
The CTO of the company which released Websphere has the audacity of talking about simplifying deployment ecosystem.
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Tech and product teams have to be aligned. If not, there’s chaos where dev teams suffer. No skunk project(s), no adhoc project(s), No special or pet projects for the CTO or Product Manager. Figure out what needs to get done, plan a road map, plan milestones to get there, consider the folks who ACTUALLY does the work. Protect your teams work-life balance.1
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My CTO still uses msql_connect in production...
Now, I have to change everything without uses any framework because, he doesn't like it.2 -
Every idea that I suggest to my cto, he turns it down, giving some stupid reason like nobody will use it, other tasks are more important than this. I hate this guy so much for not doing things when they can be done. I have no idea why he procrastinates and will he ever consider my suggestions in the future.3
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As a big company CTO will you hire developers from Africa. And how much will you recommend as starting salary .2
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Story time...
full-stack dev with a side project
get fired, side project gets investors money enough for me to do side project full-time
over-inflated CTO title but suddenly I'm not only coding but in charge of interns, operations, ML, strategic planning, etc...
should feel lucky but at the same time kind of not really sure what to do first since I'm kind of in charge of everything... facepalm.exe
any suggestions? thx!6 -
Worked as a swift ios developer for 2years now, boycotted java (android) and objective-c alltogether.
Have to do both plus javascript because my cto is marvelled by the promises of react-native...
The damn guy doesn’t have to implement a single line of code ! I do !
As if having to dev on xcode 9 wasn’t bad enough already 👏👏 -
Why are you so slow Kaggle...
(((preparing kernel)))
(((committing)))
I have tons of data to analyze with multiple methods...
sigh...1 -
development progress is like chinese whispers; "we have encountered issues and will be delayed" becomes "we'll be ready to push to prod by COB" when it reaches the CTO. /facepalm
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So I just started working on a site for a new client who has been working on getting their startup off the ground. Their CTO has built the site so far but I've never seen so much styling and js online in a RoR app... FML.1
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I work for a media company with different business units such as radio, print, newspaper etc and radio is the largest (most money) of them all. The online unit (dev & social media) was relatively small until recently. So IT and budget is mostly focussed on radio.
Last budget meeting we asked to upgrade our internet and hardware (we have shitty laptops and very shitty screens). CTO of the group says to me: "I don't really belive in the internet because I don't really understand it so I can't see why you need these upgrades...nobody else complains about these issues."
Me internally: "how the fuck did you become CTO....??"
Me to him: nobody complains because they are sales consultants who reads emails and make phone calls all day...
CTO: I'll look into it but i'm not really convinced...
How do you win this fight??? -
My first day at my first job.
I am super hyped. Now I like be like Mario under a hidden infinite coin's brick, siphoning knowledge from better than me.
First project meeting :
- (CTO) OK, Lets copy paste everything needed from our last project and tomorrow we start development
And this is how we created a new project in ancient toolset2 -
The fact that I can hear my work provide MBP 13" through my bose QC35's means that my current employer cheaped out on hardware end of story!!1
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After 7 years law is changing. The company that hired me as freelance CTO needs to offer me a contract.
Damnit! I can't charge too much anymore! -
Yesterday’s dev achievement. Created a docsify project so that the rest of the company can start documenting their shot.
Something I had implemented in my team a while back, first thing this morning I get a message from the CTO to add mermaid support for his architectural graphs for his latest project.
Tomorrow’s dev achievement, 0 lines of code will be written after 9am. -
Our only PM out 3 weeks on vacation, we are now only developers, our CEO and CTO. None of them have any idea of being a PM - just ask random questions about work, hands the phone to us whenever a customer calls - Generally have clue whats going on. FML!1
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Some of you requested this, I think it would be helpful for some of the guys there.
https://information-age.com/path-be... -
{
-i won't follow logging practices
-i won't follow secure coding
-i won't leverage profiling n monitoring tools
-i won't reuse best practices
-i won't listen to thought leaders
-i will outsource writing UT
-i will outsource code quality checks
-i will outsource all testing
-i will ignore n overide CTO team
But I still want high stability, security n 4 9s availability. Just want it done. My team is best. Am a fast-track leadership program leader who never has or ever needs to cod. I just know ...
}
People I have to deal with every sprint. Site reliability is not easy ...
Teaching good code makes great products to morons, toughest ...
"Beginners mind needed"2 -
Friday morning's meeting:
CTO: Ok guys, deadline is next Friday so today we close the last big issues and next week no more new features, only bug fixing.
Monday morning's meeting:
Business: So here is the new mock-up for the search feature (basically they changed the whole behavior).
😐1 -
My Snowflake Tor extension is automatically off every time I start Chrome. I have to turn it off and on for it to activate.
Works perfectly fine on Firefox though.
😕 -
'CTO': We need this application to be desktop, client-server and self-installable(like a multiplayer game. Counter-Strike for example. Only here we are talking about a business application)
Me: (20 min explanation of the complications and limitations of the architecture).
'CTO': Don't worry. We're gonna explain all that on the user manual.
****Later****
'CTO': I got an idea. What if we deploy the client separately. It will be a dumb client. It will contain just views. That way you don't have to code an API.
The guy was thinking that a dumb client is like a remote desktop window where all is happening on the other side.🤦2 -
Botched the technical interview with the CTO he got me with fucking left joins x,) I'm forever stuck at my dead end job, I'm destined to wither in that wilderness of spaghetti and poor practices2
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Can anyone share a junior dev/intern story in which they were happy/satisfied ? Like what tasks you used to do, what were your responsibilities, what was the support from seniors/leads/managers/founders/ceo/cto whenever you were stuck, how was the pressure of work there, etc?
My previous few posts might tell you that am having second thoughts about this internship of mine.7 -
2019. I found a guy, CTO of our client. 50+ age. He teaches a lot to us. In development, I enjoy this year, because this year has more learning then last year.
I start work on 3 more languages, see more possiblities in IT, Avionics Softwares, Aviation systems.
This year, I also learn a lot about data center power distribution.
So this year was full of learning and new things in development and IT.2 -
Everything I did was wrong with a CTO because I didn't format identically to him, balls were busted daily.
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Worst?? When our CTO told us to study the whole template app, and after 1month one dev keep on asking me where he can find those services and function.. -_-