A software engineer was smoking...

A lady nearby asked him: "Can't you read the warnings? Smoking is injurous to health!"

He replied: "We are bothered only about errors, not warnings!"

Stackoverflow mods be like

divorce

I get the feeling that people who prefer C and dislike C++ just don't like stds.

Why did the worker get fired from the orange juice factory? Lack of concentration.

What's the best thing about a Boolean? Even if you're wrong, you're only off by a bit.

VSCode dropping casual truth-bombs

Due to COVID-19 all TCP applications are being converted to UDP to avoid handshakes!

Saw this in a facebook dev group and wonder why I never thought of this before xD

Child to Mark Zuckerberg: My dad is saying that you are spying on us.

Mark Zuckerberg: he is not your dad

Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?

Yes, I'd like to hear a TCP joke.

OK, I'll tell you a TCP joke.

OK, I'll hear a TCP joke.

Are you ready to hear a TCP joke?

Yes, I am ready to hear a TCP joke.

OK, I'm about to send the TCP joke. It will last 10 seconds, it has two characters, it does not have a setting, it ends with a punchline.

OK, I'm ready to hear the TCP joke that will last 10 seconds, has two characters, does not have a setting and will end with a punchline.

I'm sorry, your connection has timed out... ...Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?

Old fart joke received from another old fart :) simply had to share as I am still laughing 😂

Halloween joke, anyone?

"If you want a slutty costume for Halloween, you should go as my professor. He barely covers anything important" 😁

relatable af

Shortest Programmer Joke:

I'll be done soon!

Give a man a program, frustrate him for a day. Teach a man how to program, frustrate him for a lifetime

— Why do you want to work at our office in Mexico?
— I want to be a señor developer.

Why don't keyboards sleep? Because they have two shifts HUEHUEHUE

A perfect date for a Programmer !!

anyone?

My first try at 3D printing. Currently selling it on Shapeways, good thing they were celebrating and didn't have to pay for transportation. What do you think of my joke? :D

What do the new MacBook and a black hole have in common?

There's no Escape!

Another Ctrl joke ova here

Linux will never be the most installed OS. Just think about how often you had to reinstall Windows.

GF: What are you doing there?
Dev: I've been trying to reproduce a bug for two hours now...
GF: You need two bugs the opposite sex, otherwise they won't reproduce.

From a sad true story.

Girlfriend: What's your biggest fear?

Me: That machines take over the world.

Girlfriend: What?

Toaster: What?

Best joke I have read this week...

My girlfriend dumped me after I named a class after her. She felt I treated her like an object.