Join devRant
Do all the things like
++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatar
Sign Up
Pipeless API
From the creators of devRant, Pipeless lets you power real-time personalized recommendations and activity feeds using a simple API
Learn More
-
Favourite Programming Quote - Whats yours?
"A computer is a stupid machine with the ability to do incredibly smart things, while computer programmers are smart people with the ability to do incredibly stupid things." - Bill Bryson26 -
Client: Hey, you're the IT guy right?
Me: Hey, how can I help?
Client: Yeah for some reason I've lost power to my computer
Me: *Checks power, all computers are down due to a power cut*
Me: You'll have to contact your power supplier as you've lost power to all computers and lights.
Client: What, but the computers are not working right? - that's you're job not mine
Me: That's not how it works.
Client: Fix this or I'll bill you for the loss of money we've encountered during this and report this to your boss.
Me: How about I bill you for my time and advice and inform by boss that you tried to blame me for a power cut.
Client: You can try.
Me: *walks off and puts time in the ticket, requests purchasing to send an invoice*
2 Days later:
The client does not pay the invoice.
Me: (phone call) Hi, an invoice has been sent to you and we haven't received payment yet.
Client: were not paying that, you broke our power and made our computers break
Me: null22 -
It hurts my brain when people use him as an example of successful drop outs.
For starters, this dude's a literal fucking genius. The average person that considers dropping out is far away from the level of intelligence that Bill had when he dropped out.
average_person != bill_gates
15 -
Me : The website renewal bill is up and it will due in 30 days
Client : Sleep
Me : 14 days
Client : Sleep
Me : 7 days
Client : Sleep
Me : Last notice, it'll be dead tommorow if we dont pay today
Client : Sleep
*website dies*
Me : F
Client the day after suspension : Hey, we can't access the site.
Me : Play dead
***
I think i should say "email service will die if you don't pay the renewal bill" instead
based on how quick they react when shit stopped working8 -
Bill gates found a bottle in his garden.
He decided to rub it thrice (whyever) and a geany surged.
Bill gates: h.. He.. Hello?
Geany : hi, im willing to give you one wish as you saved me
Bill gates: I WANT WORLD PEACE, HERE IS THE MAP WITH ALL THE WARS ON THE WORLD!!
Geany: thats impossible. Other wishes?
Bill gates: fix every bug in windows vista!
Geany: gimme that world map10 -
*eating at the local pizza restaurant*
me to waitress: hey do u guys support Bitcoin?
waitress: Yes we do!
me: great! I'd like to pay.
*waitress passes over the bill*
*i open my wallet and pull out a physical Bitcoin*
*waitress stares really confused at my Bitcoin with the scanner device in her hand*
18 -
Me: Hey Google, open devrant
Google: Results for dev brand
Me: open devrant
Google: Results for dev hand
Me: No! open "dev" "rant"
Google: Results of some dude named Dev Randhawa
Me: Dammit open devrant
Google: Dewa rent? Electricity bill paying sites of some town called dewa.
Me: Open d.e.v.r.a.n.t
Google: Opens Google play song from Kevin Durant.
Me: gives up and listens to Kevin Durant sing some shit about LeBron James.10 -
So i sent my bill to the client yesterday and:
C: the amount is too high i can’t pay this
M: but you validate the number of working days
C: but the amount is huge ... nevermind i’ll pay you because you are good guy
M: ...6 -
I was in the airport VIP lounge in route to Seattle a couple of weeks ago. While in there, I noticed Bill Gates sitting comfortably in the corner, enjoying a drink. I was meeting a very important client who was also flying to Seattle, but she was running a little bit late.
Well, being a straightforward kind of guy, I approached the Microsoft chairman, introduced myself, and said, "Mr. Gates, I wonder if you would do me a favor."
"Yes?"
"I'm sitting right over there," pointing to my seat at the bar, "and I'm waiting on a very important client. Would you be so kind when she arrives as to come walk by and just say, 'Hi, Ray,'?"
"Sure."
I shook his hand and thanked him and went back to my seat.
About ten minutes later, my client showed up. We ordered a drink and started to talk business.
A couple of minutes later, I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was Bill Gates.
"Hi, Ray," he said.
I replied, "Get lost Gates, I'm in a meeting."9 -
I woke up today with my power off, dad forgot to pay the bill
WTF.jpg
I get home from work all stoked to code to learn that he didn't get it straightened out
Phones on 10% so i cant even read pdfs or surf Kodi
And im spending the last bit of electricity i own to bitch about it
Pay your bills devs10 -
Finally got my first dose of vaccine today ^_^
And in another news, I am applying for a job at Microsoft.
I feel Bill Gates is our lord and saviour.
I don't understand why you all dumb people hate such a wonderful company so much.43 -
!rant
Guys! I did it! Its possible!
My task was to extension a code in php. I wrote 100 lines of code and then it workes on first try without any errors!
This is a milestone!
Bill Gates is nothing against me!15 -
I've never been to one, but they do tend to flood the industry with people who think they're the next Bill Gates, but everything they write sucks...
...wait, was that redundant? I can't tell... -
In the darkest of days, I discovered how to remote login to my computer at work through the company vpn. I then proceeded to work overtime at night in secret for a week or so, writing documentation and refactoring code.
I finally woke the fuck up and realized that I shouldn't be obsessing over proprietary codebases that do not belong to me, and I should put this misguided energy into my own projects.
So yeah, as a bad dev habit I'm working on fixing, this fits the bill.4 -
Beginner: I wrote 1,000 lines of code!
Intermediate: I deleted 1,000 lines of code!
Expert: I prevented code from being written!1 -
When you have motivation for coding early in the morning but Windows would like to update your PC just after you have turned it on
6 -
***JUST BECAUSE SECURITY***
My father deleted the email with the credential for our ISP (pppoe: username and password), and I need it to connect a router.
Just called the tecnical service, after a couple of minutes they gave it to me.
They sent to me both username and password.
In clear.
Asking me where to send (which mail).
I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HOW IS CALLED THE CREDENTIAL I NEED.
Obviously, I just had to say the accountholder of the bill.
Now I am super scared, i can virtually access any account.8 -
One day Bill Gates died and met god. God said "Now then, Bill, i'll show you heaven and hell and you can choose which one you want to go to. Sound good?"
"Yeah!,"replies Gates. So god takes Gates to hell first. In hell he shows him pretty maidens, beautiful landscapes and an endless supply of pop tarts. "So you like it?"he asks him. "Yeah, it's great,"Gates replies.
So god takes him to heaven. In heaven he shows him quite pretty maidens, quite beautiful landscapes and a not quite endless supply of pop tarts. "So bill have you made your choice?" "Yes, God. i want to go to hell," "OK then." And Bill Gates is whisked away to hell.
But it is not the hell he saw before. Here there are no pretty maidens, no beautiful landscapes and no pop tarts. Instead there are all the most horrible things ever. "Aaaahhhh! Where am I!"asks Gates. "In hell,"replies god. "But it's not how it was before!"cries Gates. "Aahh. That was just the demo Bill."3 -
TROPHY WIFE!!!
Say all you want, the job requires tolerance and ability to stroke some ego. Really demanding hours and maintenance too. I just didn't fit the bill.22 -
It has now officially been 3 days and I haven't fully configured softwares on my new "windows" laptop( errors that takes google's 3rd page to solve😊) ... Because... "This guy fucks"
7 -
So you think it's bad when your friends, family, strangers and others ask you to fix their phone or computer is bad when they hear you're a programmer, IT or good with computers?
You think it's bad when they ask you whether you're hacking when they see code or terminal on your screen?
You think it's bad when they ask you to fix a cracked phone screen because you work with computers?
Well, think again because today my teammate was asked to fix a vending machine by X from another department because, according to X the vending was not accepting X's other dollar bill. The first dollar bill was accepted so why wouldn't it accept the 2nd one? Because the 🤬 dollar bill is crumpled. That's it.
What wows me is what made X think this is an IT issue.
According to X.... "because it has power, lights and touch screen so IT can fix it That's what you guys do, right? You can fix anything".
Me: wait!?, what?, uhhh..., are you serious? Wtf? Why? Grrrr4 -
Guy A : so I had to downloaded the one you sent ...
Guy B : wait you what
Guy A : I downloaded the file you sent
Guy B : you didn't need to download, you just had to save it
Guy A : NO, I had to download, if not it will cost my mobile bill
Guy B : NO, saving it won't cost any
And here I am : (屮゜Д゜)屮3 -
Sometimes, I wish to punch Bill Gates in the face for founding Microsoft which created Windows 10.
Fucking updates16 -
I just had to print out some bills for a colleague.
Nothing too bad you say?
Well.. She doesn't seem to care about security or privacy at all.
I opened the website of her email provider at my computer and moved away from the keyboard, so she could log in.
But instead she told me her email and password... In an office with some other colleagues... Multiple times and wrote it onto a piece of paper that the later left on my table.
After that I should look through her inbox to find the bills.
(Yup, I know a lot more about her now)
After finding and printing out her bills, she just thanked me and walked out of the office, because hey, why should I log out of her account?
It's nice that she trusts me... But that was a bit too much...4 -
starting my own linux based company, macrohard
our first piece of software will be a linux distro known as doors, and we're going to have a line of tablets called macrohard floors
comment below to apply, and with more product suggestions25 -
No Wi-Fi = No Food.. Great motivation to pay your internet bill on time... This 'smart' shit is going way too far lol..
15 -
We are building this big-data engine for a client's product for which we were using a cluster on GCP and they were billed ~1100$ for the last month's usage.
The CTO - the CHIEFFUCKING TECHNOLOGY OFFICER told us to hook up 5-6 laptops in our server room and create our own cluster because they cannot afford so much bill.6 -
Client: we need a big data implementation in AWS to be fully HA and DR.... Money is no object
*3 weeks later when the bill comes in *
Client: its too expensive we don't need this HA stuff we don't even know what it stands for anyhow so can you take it out? But the system still needs 24/7 availability....2 -
AWS just sent me an email threatening to terminate my account because I have a $0.18 pending bill. Wow Amazon! Just wow! How many years does it take you to make $0.18? 5? 10?11
-
So. My mobile bill is due 24/01/17 and yet it is supposedly "357 days overdue", but a previous one due on 24/11/16 has "295 days left to pay". Some funky handling of the new year going on here....
-
Son of a fucking bitch I forgot to pay the fucking internet bill and now my connection is down until the fucking payment processes.
Fucking shit I can't do a damn thing without internet bruh.16 -
So woke up this morning and Paypal had just banned my account with no reason whatsoever. I only receive funds from 3 clients who I have been working with for a few years now. My account is already verified with my ID and utilities bill. Am a freelance so I depend on it. So it's a case of ' hey, we think you did something wrong, we are not going to tell you what but are banning you permanently and keeping your money for 6 months'. F piss of shit of a company.
23 -
if a separate internet is created after the fcc passes the anti net neutrality bill, I shall call it the alternet9
-
This is an example if statement:
if(bla.boolean()){
}
Bill does NOT put comments into the condition brackets.
Be like bill.
Please.11 -
LOL Have I Been Pwned has pwned itself, cost-wise. Here the steps:
1) Go all in on cloud shit like Azure
2) Think you're a smartass
3) Trick the cost side with even more cloud, this time Cloudflare
4) Be not quite as smart as you think
5) Enjoy your 7000 EUR bill
6) Make some tweaks and continue with step 2.
Source: https://troyhunt.com/how-i-got-pwne...
Bonus laughter: he's a "Microsoft Most Valuable Professional", though not an actual employee.22 -
I wanted to be a dev when the only on campus job that paid more than minimum wage was titled "Web Developer". It paid 13 bucks / hour. AWYEAH.
-
Clicking "share" on directory in Windows Explorer, digging through config panel, fidgeting with network discovery options, toggling password protection, digging through account management, jumping over a chair 3 times to channel my inner Bill Gates, checking directory permissions, sacrificing 7 virgin unicorns, go into lusrmgr.msc, curse various gods, install CIFS1.0 protocol, reboot computer, disable encryption, checking registry, trying to summon Steve Ballmer using the blood of a bald goat and sweat-scented candles... 5 hours.
Install Ubuntu on spare SSD, mount Windows NTFS drive, start SMB daemon and set up samba users... 15 minutes.12 -
Top advice to give to a new dev? Go back in time and download devRant, then buy a rubber ducky. Yes, I finally got mine 👍🏻
3 -
Don't you hate it when your co-worker does dumb things, but thinks it's the "clean code" way?
The following is a conversation between me and a co-worker, who thinks he's superior to everyone because he thinks he's the only one who read the Clean Code series. Let's call him Bill.
Me: I think the feature we need is quite simple, our application needs to call this third party API, parse the response and pass it to the next step. Why do you need to bury everything under an abstraction of 4 layers?
Bill: bEcAuSe It'S dEcOuPlInG, aNd MaKe ThE cOdE tEsTaBlE
Me: I don't know man, you only need to abstract the third party api client, and then mock it if you want. Some interfaces you define makes no sense at all. For example, this interface only has 1 concrete implementation, and I don't think it will ever have another. Besides, the concrete implementation only gets the input from the upper layer and passes it down the lower layer. Why the extra step? I feel like you're using interface just for the sake of interface.
Bill: PrOgRaMmInG tO iNtErFaCe, NoT cOnCrEtE iPlEmEnTaTiOn!!!
Me: You keep saying those words, I don't think they mean what you think they mean. But they certainly do not mean that every method argument must be an interface
Bill: BuT uNcLe BoB blah blah blah...
Me: *gives up all hope*14 -
If I had a penny for every time I misspelt 'nginx', I'd be richer that Bill Fucking Gates.
Could you have picked a more typo-prone name!?
9 -
The year is 2088, and I still haven’t figured out whether to bill per hour or project.
Help...
Please...
No?
Okay 👌9 -
what the last windows update did to me:
- BROKE the fucking SPEAKERS so i have NO SOUND even WITH HEADPHONES. the only pair that work is a bluetooth one that i used before
- RESET ALL OF MY BIOS SETTINGS. this includes intel haxm so now the FUCKING AVD WON'T WORK.
- BROKE my FINGERPRINT SENSOR, so now i cant use the side of my pinky to login.
FUCK YOU MICROSOFT.
GO SUCK BILL GATES'S COCK.
DIE IN A HOLE.11 -
Mining-Noob-Exp. #1
Just received some ordered ASIC miner from Bitmain. I'm very excited wether I'll reach the ROI or just bought some expensive heaters.
Lesson learned: Don't forget about possible (high) import taxes and fees in your calculations. 😐
Time to piss of my landlord who is paying the electricity bill. 👺
15 -
Trump and Biden flying small Cessna. Biden says: I can throw out a $100 bill and make one person happy. Trump says: I can throw out ten bills and make ten people happy. Pilot says: I can throw out both of you and make 8 billion people happy!6
-
I have been working 9 months as consultant for a company thru a vendor. The contract will finish in two weeks, the company want to continue working with me, I can't be hired directly, should be thru a vendor. The problem is that today I confirmed that this vendor bill the company the double and want me to sign again with them for the same rate, I can't switch to another vendor because there is a non-compete clause. What would you do in my case? I feel like that squirrel
12 -
Being 25 and just now getting employable dev etc skills is really quite daunting when you learn of the old geniuses like Bill Joy, Linus, Wozniak and then hear daily stories of 16 year olds doing amazing things.
Inexperience in a field where everyone demands experience is scary. Still excited to see where I Can l can get though.11 -
I don't get what people don't understand about how monthly bills work.
"But I already paid you once!"
"Yeah, for the work we did two months ago. This is the bill for the work we did last month."
"... But I already paid you once!"
"Yes, and then you asked us to do more work"
"... ... But I already paid you once! Why are you trying to rip me off!?!"
*sigh*1 -
right to repair is dead in cali and canada because Apple and CompTIA lobbied
cali: https://theverge.com/2019/5/...
canada: https://motherboard.vice.com/en_us/...
apple can suck my 3-inch dick9 -
“I sent a document to print but it hasn't come out... I think the printer might be broken”
NO! The printer is not BROKEN just because you can’t print. You see that person over there at the printer? Yes, that one collecting their print job now? THE PRINTER IS NOT BROKEN! -
Interviewer: "Is studying computer science the best way to prepare to be a programmer?"
Bill Gates: "No, the best way to prepare is to write programs, and to study great programs that other people have written. In my case, I went to the garbage cans at the Computer Science Center and I fished out listings of their operating system." -
Received $1000 bill from google because my navigation app used google maps and the places search/autocomplete API to allow users to search for a place.
Switching to mapbox maps and places api.
#%$£€@&?10 -
Sure Amazon, 0.02$/GB * 0.000120 GB = 0.01$, not 0.0000024$, sure, that's right.
0.05$ for what amounts to less than 2MB of data transfer in total (there's two more lines like that in the bill).
Eat a bag of dicks.
Free tier my ass, if I wanted to spend money I'd rather use Azure.
3 -
So my gas bill (for heating and warm water) is so low that my provider wants to send someone over to check the counter on it.
They can't put one and one together and take into account that my power bill is like double the amount they calculated. -
1. No more fucked up solutions like: React Native, Flutter, Xamarine, Phonegap, Ionic
2. Make XCode vanish and put a better IDE instead of it
3. Keep "the next bill gates" away from me, those who keep on saying: I have an idea its like Facebook but different8 -
"well you could still afford a doctor if you bought a PC" - the bill gates from epic rap battles of history. guess he stayed true to his word
3 -
There was this post in devRant regarding EU battery replacement bill.
Some selectively amnesiac people commented about battery replacement risks.
I wanted to type out that Samsung Galaxy s5 was IP67 with a replaceable battery. Sony XP was IP68.
Somehow, devRant refreshed out of the blue, and now I can’t find the post anymore.
Arrrrggghhh!! Now how will I show everyone that I’m smart - a big battery historian?10 -
I just left my soldering iron on on 350 degrees over night. Haha I bet that will show on my electrical bill 🙃19
-
About the Huawei not being allowed in Play Store. Just remember that Xiaomi was shipping devices without Google services installed, but it had the single click "Install Google Play Services" app.
Anyway, can I send a bill for my dad's phone to Donald Trump?16 -
Got home to acknowledge I forgot to pay the fucking internet bill and now I'm in a void without knowing what I'll do and everything might end with me wasting my mobile data and some whiskey2
-
Bill Gates: I will always choose a lazy person to do a difficult job. Because he will find a easy way to do it.
Me: Hello, is this Microsoft. I'm the laziest person you can find on planet earth. Hire me.
2 -
Spent 3 hours today digging through 3rd party libraries, trying to get them all to work together nicely.
The solution? A one line fix in my own source.
FACEPALM!!! -
Cool things I found out recently™:
[#1, August 2017]
1) devRant (hehe~ ★)
https://play.google.com/store/apps/...
2) DeepL Translator
https://www.deepl.com
3) Lanota (an awesome mobile music/rhythm game) (I'm fanboying too much about it, sorry :'D)
https://play.google.com/store/apps/...
4) Burrito Galaxy 65
http://burritogalaxy.com
5) USB type C Simulator
https://play.google.com/store/apps/...
6) bill wurtz('s YouTube channel. Heh, you thought I was just gonna call a person "a thing"?)
https://youtube.com/user/billwurtz/
---
What do you think? What is your list? ^^9 -
So ... Yeah ... I survived a week in my holiday apartment with no wifi...
Now to wait for that phone bill 😂 oh well -
Sounds too good to be true and it is
New York Councilman Proposes Bill That Would Grant NYC Workers 'Right To Disconnect'
"(...) advocating for the rights of employees to stop answering work-related emails and other digital messages, like texts, after official work hours. (...) got the idea from France, where a bill passed early last year by the Ministry of Labor requires companies of over 50 employees to define out-of-office email rules. (...) And the New York version of the "Right to Disconnect" bill includes exemptions for jobs that require 24-hour on-call periods."
source: https://m.slashdot.org/story/3387894 -
Microsoft engineer walks into my room. we need to join your laptop to the domain, as part of the migration and upgrade company policy. so I give the guy my laptop. The guy has an agonizing look on his face! He goes. This is linux! Mind you all this time am nodding and bouncing on my chair. The guy bolts from my room, as if he was going to report direct to Bill Gates. Apparently the dev team was left out in the whole migration plan!5
-
This epic rap battle by ERB !!!
Bill Gates vs. Steve Jobs
https://youtu.be/njos57IJf-0
a must watch !!!3 -
The shortcut to search solution explorer in Visual Studio is probably a choise made by PM after exceeding the project budget for the functionality.
3 -
Fuuuuckk. My phone made a video whilst being in my pocket. Google photos uploaded it... Now I'm 2GB over my data bundle limit on the 3rd of the month.... 😑
Apparently the android function "auto-disconnect from network" has a bug, which is gonna cost me1 -
"hey good job on the peepeepoopoo server, could you deploy it on this vps?"
Uh sure, i hope you are prepared for my bill at the end of the month for the devops tasks1 -
Do u know facts☺
Bill gates kept same password for all his accounts from 1993 to 1998
His password was
Iwillwinthisworldin@decade1 -
Yesterday one of our clients gave us the OK to launch their annual financial reports, 4 minutes before stock market closed and most of us was heading home.
Problem was we didn't have the proper access to their servers, so I and a senior consultant just spent a few hours calling our client and their IT infrastructure provider.
6 hours later, a large bill from the IT provider for after hours work, the job was done. A job that would take 5 minutes of uploading and 5 minutes of database transfer. -
Fuck windows update. Fuck Microsoft for sending daily updates. Fuck everything about windows update. Fuck bill gates. And again fuck windows update13
-
Hey, our air conditions are not free, so you really need to buy something else we charge you for the amount of air you have inhaled while sitting down.
5 -
The absolutely terrible and anti-customer "service" provided by Comcast should be illegal.
My bill went up $25 this month without any warning whatsoever, and all I get is their braindead AI they are training with customer voice data. So I shout jibberish into it until it connects me to a human.
I have actual choices where I live, so I'm going to cancel. -
// This part of the code should never run
Came across that lovely comment when fixing a reported bug. Guess where the bug was? You guessed it XD1 -
Motherfucking cocksucking Microsoft windows. The worst software ever written by shittiest developers.
Mother fucker blowed up all the partitions ( Linux installation, root and /home partition ), including windows recovery disk.
I wish, your HQ will blow up the same way, someday.
Bill Gates .... Go fuck yourself with a iron rod12 -
How Mark Zuckerberg tells Bill Gates that his company is retarded.
.
Whatsapp works with M$ Edge 13+
DOWNLOAD THE LATEST VERSION OF WINDOWS 10 or use Google Chrome, Firefox... 😂😂😂 -- No. you can't just download M$ Efge 13+ it won't work
7 -
On the roof of my friends house. On new years eve.
The party was too noisy for me to hear the client over the phone, so I was milling around the appertment until I no longer heard the noise.
Sat down, took laptop from backpack, solved issue, wished client a Happy New Year.
Packed in laptop. Stood up, realised I had somehow wandered out of the appartment and up onto the roof.
Sat down again. Vertigo.
Opened the laptop again, sending the client the bill at 500% overtime rate.
At least the fireworks were pretty.2 -
So I hate politics, but I'm sure some of you will be glad to see this article about a new proposed bill to restore Net Neutrality:
http://bit.ly/2ouHLG15 -
Dropped Comcast cable & phone. I have to keep their internet. 11 days ago after cancelling the service on the phone I went to UPS store and shipped their equipment. A few days ago I get confirmation email that my equipment has been received by them. Today I get my bill and it is the whole bill despite my cancellation and despite the fact that I was without any service for 13 days. So I call them for a wtf session and they tell me my services show all up and nothing has been cancelled. I have to call the cancellation department again tomorrow because they are closed Sundays. I have had at least twenty calls with Comcast this month. At this point I am willing to pay twice the going eat for Google Fiber just to get rid of Comcast once and for all.5
-
What is bill gates the childfucker doing in my shit poor trash country🇷🇸 is he fking kids here too like on epstein island?
5 -
Article in Seattle Times this morning detailing the "Legacy of Bill Gates Sr." who recently passed away.
I haven't read it, but I assume it's basically "Owner of the bill-gates-contrib repository."3 -
When you get tired of playing Sim City in your pc and want to build the real s***
http://kgw.com/news/...1 -
Updated to Windows 10 1803 (April Update) and I noticed a little button appearing near the search box in the task bar. Turns out to be a new feature called Timeline. I open it and it shows some excel files I had opened some weeks before.
That's very coo... HOW THE FUCK DOES IT KNOW WHAT I DID BEFORE I EVEN UPDATED WINDOWS???
Richard Stallman is right..6 -
I've got staff, I've got staff
And they bill time and a half;
Now I only write the gist you see
And they can code the rest
Open source, Fraying nerves
Smoothing out regression curves;
Try this framework, it's ambitious
It was made of spit and wishes.
Coffee rings, at first glance
But of course miss, he's freelance;
And this code base is a truly scary mess
I can't expand the menu
Even chance its home brew, unit test;
Unit test, unit test!1 -
I had to do a double take... Needless to say I can't sign in for shit, fucknows what mental finger dance I did on the shift key when signing up to these guys...
Also: forgotten password is "please type your email, if there's an account associated to this email address we'll fucking email it with password reset instructions"...
Fucking arsehole fucks, I just wanna pay my fucking energy bill.
-
Client: Why was the payment applied to the May invoice?
Me: Because that is the only open bill.
Client: We want to apply it to the July invoice.
Me: What business rules exist to hold an invoice open in order for the payment to be applied to a future invoice?
Client: ...can you manually correct this?
Facepalm.4 -
Somehow I find NOT working much more exhausting than working.
By "not working" I mean being blocked for days/weeks by procedural, technical or communication stuff (peeps I depend on are busy with other HI-prio tasks, waiting for approvals, etc.), where I have to keep on pinging them for updates, monitoring comms channels for news, finding smth to do to justify for the clients the 8 hours I bill them for.
Just let the man work alright!!! GIMME WORK!!!!4 -
I’m a software architect, and my lil brother (he is 19yrs) works fixing computers.
I forgot to pay the internet bill this month and they suspended my signal yesterday, then when try to access any website, we got a ISP page saying that the signal was suspended.
I paid the bill yesterday then they reactivated the signal this morning.
He woke me up saying that the WiFi was working but his computer still stuck on the ISP page.
I said that was cache of the browser and he still boring me saying that was not for the next 2 hours.
I took that computer from him and cleared the cache, and now is working.
My lil brother is a lil dumb.2 -
Hey I noticed this month devrant++ subscription is $2.12 on Google Play. The usual is $1.99.
Did anyone else notice? did Google start taxing subscriptions? That's sort of cheap of them... They already take a 30% cut and they can't foot the tax bill?20 -
Had a SIM card for a week. Wasn't able to log into their service portal. Internet service was shitty as well. I recalled the contract.
Now they have sent me an email informing me of a bill which is stored in the online portal, and i have no idea for what this is, or how to find out.
I miss letters :-(
What is it that service providers wont send this stuff out as PDF?
*boomer-rage1 -
"F*ck Microsoft!" **posts online using Windows**
Well thanks to them, I was able to finish my f*cking project in college using Microsoft Office.3 -
Been working for a guy who seems not to care about his employees... Haven't been paid for the last 3 months of 2016.
Now my internet bill comes tomorrow I have nothing. What a way to begin 201717 -
Moments like this are why I pay my internet bill, even if we are all infected with “the stupid” I love you guys
Inb4: a good post also died for this
17 -
Gotta love temporary laptops while waiting for your actual device. I literally have to press letter "T" like playing Tekken in the arcade.
5 -
Well at least he added the time....
My Drafts section is looking pretty nice now huh? :)
@dfox is the # of hours between posts now dynamic as well?
And perhaps its time to think about getting outside funding and help. Seems growth is now exponential? and I'm kind of feeling this is like the Facebook/Twitter for Developers.... but prolly not sustainable with just 2 devs who are also footing the bill.
In startup speak I guess validation is over and you have won!
2 -
I did something potentially extremely stupid today
In 2020 when I was a teenager I suggested my uncle who ran a family business with my father to start a e commerce website. I did lot of stupid stuff doing this too. Planned to use AWS free tier to host the website and used Godaddy for domains IIRC. Setup godaddy email forwarding to his gmail account too IIRC
I registered a AWS account with my email(bad idea since my uncle's debit card was the payment method). I then setup a EC2 instance but instead of using the free instance I used some other instance because I didn't read what instance was free and setup his debit card as the payment method.
Setup woocommerce on it and pointed the domain to instance's static IP. We didn't do a lot of stuff on the website but next month on AWS we got a bill but it was a small amount. Uncle paid the bill and I terminated the EC2 instance IIRC. Next month there was a very small bill I don't remember what I did after it.
Today I remembered about it logged in to AWS and paid the bill. The problem is I used the default billing address which is in my uncle's name and the address of the family business. IIRC we didn't give them tax details of the business so we can't claim tax credit on it.
But still since there is a bill with the address of the business which Amazon probably reported to the government there could be tax discrepancies. Bill was due 4 years ago so maybe it will affect his 2020 returns which could be painful. The bill was also paid by me not from my Uncle's account so that might complicate things.
Thankfully the surprise AWS bill had basically zero affect on my relationship with my uncle.3 -
Dad: I want you to marry a girl of my choice.
Son: No
Dad: The girl is Bill Gate's daughter.
Son: Then Ok.
Dad goes to Bill Gates.
Dad: I want your daughter to marry my son.
Bill Gates: No
Dad: My son is the CEO of the World Bank.
Bill Gates: Than ok
Dad goes to the President of the World Bank.
Dad: Appoint my son as the CEO of your bank.
President: No
Dad: He is the son-in-law of Bill Gates.
President: Then OK
That's business...!!2 -
A potential client wants me to fix a critical bug on their app. She wants us to book a call so she can explain the issue to me.
Because so many clients have wasted my time in the past, I want to charge her some $$$ for the call. However, if the gig goes through, it’ll be deducted from her bill.
Does this make any sense?3 -
Off Topic Rant: so the condo I'm currently renting in have 2 elevators but only 1 is functioning. They turned off the other elevator so that they can save some electric bill. I doubt it is being fixed because it is still not working up to this day. Now there's a waiting time for the elevator because only 1 of them is working. Rathole and shithole Asian country I'm in.8
-
Me: I need some time to understand this app(taking over it from another developer without explanation)
Boss: I need to bill the client, please finish all the pending features.
Me: :/1 -
Just finished watching 2 episodes of the Bill Gates Netflix doc.... Wondering if maybe I should change my username... Nowhere near the genius and hard worker he seems to be...9
-
again my internet is down as I forget to pay the bill.
Ps I know tetheering can help to do it, but I decided to clean my mac and have some beers. cheers!!3 -
I hate windows, it f**king takes 10000 minutes to load microsoft edge browser on a newly bought laptop .21
-
Just helped in the little 'Büdchen' (kiosk comes close, but in reality it is more of an little super market) around the corner to Update the firmware of a money bill verifier and counter... As there are new 50 Euro bills.
God. Serial to USB. After running installer and starting firmware update, the owner was a bit frightened as it took so long....
XD
Setup. 30 secs. Firmware. 6 Minutes. XD -
Ohhh 😲😲😲 are you kidding me ? xxx TB !!!!!! 😅😅😅🤤🤤
IT must be a bug or is it really my usage !!? 🤔🤔🤔🤔 let me investigate 😂😂😂😂😂
2 -
OK, we all hate Gates, Elon or LTT for some reason. All heroes in my eyes. Ok, I do cringe at some LTT stuff, especially when about Linux.
I've read a book about Gates (Very bad one), about Elon and Jobs. So, I think I investigated well.
But there, a list from people we all hate for some reason. Question is, who's your tech hero?
For me, it's Robert Nystrom. But being a dictator of own project like Torvalds is my dream13 -
So I'm at work most of the day developing project managment system for better efficiency but I can't seem to keep my electricity bill up to date. Now I'm looking forward to some free time because I got disconected and everything is closed when I'm home from work. Even when I do manage to get off on time my boss needs me on evenings and weekends.
Now it's just NO BITCH, i ain't got NO POWER!!! ^^ yeah!3 -
For people working as consultants, have you been asked to provide your own equipment (laptop and accessories) for work? if yes, how do you bill them for it?2
-
Been doing java for years now, and finally got to trying out an IDE. Been using VIM and notepad++ for ages, and tried Netbeans. It honestly frustrates me, is this where it's at, or is there something a bit more user friendly? Google yes I know, but Googles opinions are about as reliable as Bill Clinton around Monica Lewinski6
-
We had late night work... So our seniors thought of going out for drinks and asked us to join!!
We beeing the interns, bill was all on them ;)
Had fun...2 -
Top 5 richest people.
1.People that own Powerbeats pro
2.People that own AirPods
3.Jeff Bozo
4.Bill Gates
5.Warren Buffet10 -
See now my stratgey for remaining in means and above water is typically American
You rent a room
400 a month
You have your meals there small fridge can store your lunches you save your money
You're below poverty level so you get food assistance
You look for a better job
Logical and you can still afford things
Just not a goddamn 400 car plus 180 insurance bill ! And another 160 a month in gas!
Why is this so goddamn hard ?6 -
AppStore says "We're working hard on getting all the 🐛s squashed so please bear with us."
I says "WHAT 🐛s?!" devRant is the 💣1 -
I start to dislike programming. I used to love it. Chased by deadline, bill, family pressure, etc. Not sure what to do. Switch career?5
-
An old hillbilly named Bill, who started programming on patch panels in the 60's. Imagine that if you will. He taught me to be persistent, not to fear mistskes, and never take myself too seriously.
-
company policy was to bill in 10 min increments to a contract whose deliverables you were executing on, this was federally mandated. they never told us where to bill the 5+ hours of meetings per week we had on "technology". every time i asked i was told i would be "gotten back to"4
-
Polish Translation for Microsoft Visual Studio...
Hope you figure out what is wrong witch that shit
Good Job Bill...
6 -
https://eff.org/deeplinks/2023/...
And wtf who comes up with these names? “EARN IT” “PATRIOT act” etc 🙄
These fuckers are relentless. -
Please tell me what does a 11,300% increase mean on aws billing dashboard and am i fucked? So far the bill is 1.37$ and this is ONLY because of using NAT
10 -
Thanks google...
Edit: vat in Germany is 19% but that doesn't add up to 2,56$
According to the bill, vat was 0.33€ ($0.4)
8 -
Got a phishing email with a link to a website hosted by wix. The only thing on the site was a form and submit button so I’m sure it’s for collecting credentials. I was able to report them and wix shut it down which was nice. But I was thinking, if someone were to ddos the web server, what action would wix do? Would they let the requests keep coming and increase the customers bill? Or would they just shut down the server?2
-
Motivation ? How about the utility bill & the rent ? Food occasionally , coffee definitely . No motivation , no pay . No pay , no coffee . A slope that the snowball continues down , motivated by gravity .
Does not end well .1 -
Happiest new year to you all. Those of you like me questioning the fine line walking between dream chasing and bill paying , a special salute to you _O/
-
While everyone is hating proper programming languages... Let's talk about quotes in batch files.
What the actual fuck did Bill smoke while developing this boolshit?2 -
At first, I didn't understand computers or internet or why is that dial up modem making noise. And then one day, I was playing with my dad's PC with games he bought and interactive CD quizzes for my studies. Something about teaching me about a Bill named Bill who sat on the steps to some court house singing how a bill becomes legal or something.
Then a few months after that I discovered internet and then a friend of mine introduced torrents, neopets and anime. Heck yeah!2 -
freelance devs:
do you experiment with new technology on your client projects (and do you bill (some of) the extra time?) or on your own time (meant for learning)?2 -
See this? Dont ever fucking tell me to use mongodb. Half the time this website is fucking broken and down. Imagine you have a production ready app that is now also fucked because this piece of shit is fucked. I always viewed anyone using mongodb as DUMB fking shitass script kiddy with a small dick helping bill gates to gangrape some kids at the epstein island
11 -
If a developer made a database design choice (too short field length) 3 years ago on a project, should the development studio or customer be expected to fit the bill for any time taken to fix.
It was only small so we did it for free, but I just wandered what's the norm?12 -
* Create S3 Bucket
* Enable versioning
* Setup lifecycle to delete small temporary objects after 7 days
* Wait 7 years
* Say "Wow, I was fucking stupid, and I've learned a lot since then."
* Write devRant post
* Profit with lower monthly AWS bill1 -
!rant
I feel weird and sorta sad... the real Bill Gates uses social media more than I do...
https://facebook.com/BillGates/...
Maybe i shouldn't use his name....
1 -
The one of the most amusing comments that I read in a code, was from Bill Paul, associated with freeBSD project. I'm quoting a part of it:
"In no event shall Bill Paul or THE VOICES IN HIS HEAD be liable for any direct, indirect special, exemplary, or consequential damages......" -
How can someone be applauded like a hero for fixing a bug when he’s the one who caused it in the first place?
Gosh Bill, thanks for saving the day! The least the guy could do is acknowledge he fixed something HE broke. But that’s wishful thinking on my part, isn’t it…6 -
With all these wk18 responses about push backs from parents - had they never heard of Bill Gates or Steve Jobs? Especially the ones who don't think it's a real job or there's no money in it?1
-
I love it when context gets lost in company chat when there are multiple conversations going on at the same time.
> we just got our cloud provider bill for feb, half of what it was last month.
> sounds like a missing environment variable. looking into it1 -
27 is the new 17, the age before you have to take responsibility for your own actions and your first bill hits your wallet here in the U.S.A. 😂
Just turned 27 today, I still feel young as much as everyone else who is older than me that likes to throw the “you’re still a youngling” card 🙄
PARTEH OVER HEREEEEE! 😬🥳🎉🎉3 -
Often when i see the annoying as hell t debug exceptionless let’s just bomb entirely but blazing fastness of c and c++ I feel like a nettard
I use c# for its immutable strings clean syntax and beautiful class markers that are redundant compared to c++ but ensure you tell after adding 1000 methods and total lack of all special characters to indicate reference and derreference and pretty lambda syntax... sure it’s lib poor but I get shit done goddamn it and can read my own code later
So why do I feel empty inside every time i run a ./configure and make under Linux like I’m missing some secret party where neat things are being done and want to sob like I do now
I am not a dotnettard even though 5.0 is an abomination in the eyes of man and god ! Even though Microsoft cooks up overcomplex framework technologies that make a wonderful language underused and make us all look like idiots that they then abandon into the scrap heap! We can’t help Linux users haven’t discovered how much nicer c# is and decided to implement it on their own and port their horrible undocumented ansi c bullshit can we ???? Oh god I feel
So hollow inside and betrayed ! Curse
You gates curse youuuu! Curse you for metro direct3d xna wpf then false promises of core ! May you have a special place in hell reserved for you and your cheap wallpaper shifting monitor paintings and a pool speaker that playeth not but bee jees and ac dc forever and ever amen !
Speaking of which do any c/c++ ides have anything that even begins to rival intellisense on Linux and don’t use some weird ass build system
Like cmake as their default ?
Oh sweet memories of time a while back when I already wrote this and still wasn’t getting then tail I deserved
Again4 -
Roughly 240 hours since May (of which I'm able to bill for 80) and it's still shit. A layer of shit upon a base layer of utter shit topped off with some complete bullshit.1
-
How much does a website cost ?
This handy tool (http://howmuchdoesawebsiteco.st/) easily calculate the cost of a website. But, do you find these prices reasonable ?5 -
Is it possible to really learn azure or aws on your own without spending much money?
My company doesn't intend to go for cloud solutions but I feel that's what I want to work on. I'm nervous about accidentally creating a huge bill.8 -
The first rule of any technology used in a business is that automation applied to an efficient operation will magnify the efficiency. The second is that automation applied to an inefficient operation will magnify the inefficiency.
-Bill Gates -
BEHOLD! The voting power of Bill Gates!
j/k just a "bug" in my app, the rants were loaded this morning but going thru them now and upvoting.
But that gives me an idea for another app or maybe @dfox can just generate it from the database (not sure if he'd like me spamming the server to monitor the scores on certain rants).: A time graph of how a rant's score increases.
-
An idea on how to build a server based on gpu? Yeah like the movie? We need to build the whole machine it would be impossible to swap a CPU by a GPU in the actual architecture.. just a thought.. however the problem I would have for making a home server is not even the hardware or the electricity bill, but my unstable internet connection..3
-
Gotta love when you come across an interesting piece of software with a modern, sleek, and snazzy homepage. Then you press "Sign up" and are redirected to an ancient 90's web app whose first element after the body is a table.
-
Even if world heals from Covid 19, I don't think Bill Gates and his family is going to recover from the PR damage.
The image he built up through his philanthropy is in shambles. I don't know if it's misinformation by conspiracy theorists about vaccination agenda, but Bill gates' smirk during his interviews on a serious subject is definitely not helping him.
He is gonna have a really really hard time coming back from this.26 -
How powerful are Raspberries for Bitcoin mining when you are using like a hundred or more?
I am just curious if it is actually worth it or is the electricity bill higher?6 -
reading most of group rant about "love of coding".
It looks to me as most of people aim at a creative job, like being an artist, maybe a painter like Picasso o Van Gogh.
But they likely are up to an house painter job.
Which is probably not a good example as I'm watching now at the painter in my living room.
So quiet. Spreading the paint very carefully. and quiet. No bosses to scream at him. Satisfaction of a job well done.
And the fucking bill he'll get from me.3 -
You have to read this as Bill Hader's Stefon character.
"Yes yes yes yes yes. It's that thing where you said something was an issue three hours ago but was confirmed to not be the issue but turns out to be the issue."1 -
Customer pays an extra charge ($) for using a thing over time. Unlike some customers this charge isn't broken out separately anywhere is and actually it is hidden in an overall bill / number they receive that is just a non itmized sum of a bunch of stuff...
They want an accurate number.
This request came up in a meeting and it was so bonkers that it had to be repeated like 8x ;)
The repetition isn't so bad really as at least it indicates everyone was all "uh wait wut!!?!?" -
Should I become the CEO of Xerox, I pledge to rename the company to "Jerome Inc.", and naming our highest performance printing machine "Powell".
Also, I'm going to legally change my name to William "Bill" Printer.1 -
is there really a shortage of developers?
according to short movie by code.org featuring all the code stars like Mark Zuckerberg, Bill Gates says world needs developers and everyone should learn to code.
even Obama said that too.
but here, I am fucking trying to get a web design project on freelancer from last 45 days and I can't.
please check my profile on GitHub if you think that problem is in me.(suggestions are welcomed)2 -
Not really a kind of guy who would give into conspiracy theories. But it seems there is too many links with Rockfeller family, China, Bill Gates and ID2020.
Somebody tell me it's just a conspiracy theory and nothing more that..
https://reddit.com/r/conspiracy/... -
If I made a shirt that said “death to all managers” with a picture of bill nye the science guy on it, would any of you buy it?2
-
Bill gates walked into a apple store and farted. It stunk up the place so bad that people started to stare and scowl at him. Bill looks around and says "Hey, its their fault for not having Windows"
-
I'm in a generation and country where I can't imagine why people would have hated Bill Gates.
Are there anyone from the other generation who hated Bill Gates then and now? Who hated him them and not now? Who didn't hate him then and now?
Any thoughts?17 -
Teacher: who is the founder of microsoft
A) Mark zukerburg B) Bill Gates
Stud: me teach
Teacher: Jhon
Jhon: A) Mark zukerberg
Teacher: no any one else
If you know what i mean3 -
a full stack JS application that estimated cost savings and environmental impact of 'going solar'. based on the users zip code and average utility bill per month, it would recommend system size, cost and financing.
-
Classics on the same day that repeated multiple times and someone called me buffalo bill again rather than hannibal lecter which would be more appropriate given the psych background.
and i wrote this before
and you're all stupid old fools now :)
https://youtube.com/watch/... -
!rant
I don't know how many of you know about ERB or if you are fans of it, but I thought you all might enjoy this rap battle :)
https://youtu.be/njos57IJf-01 -
It's weird.
I opened an old unread email from apple. It was having some text with photographs of two people (i think who were in my contact on store while purchasing macbook) and more detail...
I by mistake refreshed the page and now I can see only the bill as attachment. How the previous information has gone?1 -
The more I am exposed to the more i realize they weren’t done building their weird crap yet I was seeing the self funding preview
Which sadly reminds me of joke where bill gates dies and is given a choice between heaven and hell -
Hi, people, i dont post often on here but here goes.
https :// www . ncnbc . com / 2024/10/18/the-perfect-3-word-phrase-when-someone-hurts-your-feelings.html
It has an interview from bill gates in there.
Also i want u to know that i care about u.
2
Top Tags
Weekly Rant
View