Interviewer: we need you to work overtime.
Dev: ok.
I: but we dont pay overtime work.
D:(so you want me to work for free?)
D:OK.

What the fuck student. Why in fuck would you submit a python assignment in word. So that all the formatting you know the stuff that tells python how to run the code all fucks up. How the fuck can I mark this.

Don't ever ever forget to push before leaving office.
I repeat : Don't ever ever forget to push!
Sends app to client.
At home and decides to check if the changes actually worked just to realize it crashes because i forgot to comment out my dummy test data.

*On a bus back to the office at midnight*

Advancement of technology:
We work from home and shop from office

That fealing when someone that picked from the graves an old project that you've started when you were just a noob developer... and then you look at the code... and then the shame.

IKEA can't "assemble" a functional website. I spent two days, had 4 checkout attempts and used 2 cards and 3 browsers to get to this stage.

Still beats driving to the store.

Forcing amazingly complex password requirements on end-users... Which expire every X days.

When I'm bored I play developers roulette.

($RANDOM % 6 == 0) && rm -rf / || echo "Click"

When a client tells you to hard code the root creds to their server.

Sending an email to you with your login details after you registered.

One of our customer thought it would be too unsecure to send us his AWS credentials by email. So he printed it and sent it as registered mail to us. The password we received was "hallo123".

Arguing with my friend what language is best for his program.
Suddenly he says "C++ is good but CodeBlocks is too hard and illogical".
I love wannabe tech guys.

Feedback from a client

-"It doesn't work! I want this solved immediately! "
- What? Which of the 20 views? Can you be more specific?

... 5 hors later (and lot of wasted time debugging) ...

-"I mean, this button is not aligned."

The original story:
"When I've got my very first android I was downloading any shit from Play Store. There was app called pattern security or something like that. The app was taking selfies everytime power button was pressed several times and then photo would sent to email. One day I left my old phone at home and at the office this is the photo i've received."

I only get a .jpg file for the design requirement of a website. Does that happen to anyone else?

One of my support tickets today:
Hi IT, i can't install Pokemon Go on my phone

Once a customer wanted to pay our invoice cash in a meeting. Then he came up with 14995€. As we asked where the 5€ are he could not remember immediately, but then he yelled: OH YEA I GOT HUNGRY ON THE WAY TO YOU.

"Im a wordpress developer"

No you are a human segfault

I am waiting for the time when we will start linking our devRant profile on resume.

Every software should have this