When you mention in your resume that you are an active contributor to Linux source code.

Got a job with EA
Went down like this during the interview

Hiring Manager: your second part of your resume seems to be missing?
Me: second part is $20
Hiring Manager: Welcome on board

How CV works...

Got a couple laughs at an interview for the software listed in my resume:

"Sublime Text 3 (unregistered)"

😉

Just learned C# today. Excited to add it to my resume! 😁

Just printed "Hello World", time to put Python on my resume! 😎

#wannaCry :
*US engineers trying to find antivirus.
*Europe engineers finding preventing tools
*Meanwhile Indian engineers already updated their resume with " Worked/Implemented anitvirus for wannyCry"

Meanwhile. .
Indian HR consultants asking for minimum 5 years experience in handling "wannacry"

My first interview.

Interviewer looks at my resume, asks me questions about the projects that I had done at that time.

Tells me he hadn't done this much when he was of my age.

Rejected.

Designers,

■■■■■■■ please
■■■■ stop
■■■■■■■■■ using
■■ charts
■■■■■ to show
■■■■■■■ your skills
■■■■ in your
■■■■■■■ resume

How HR department reads your resume vs how a programmer reads your resume 😂

Interviewing a candidate for a dev position.

Interview is over and handshakes commence.

After the interview we have a debrief in a room that has hand sanitizer in it (just coincidence).

I squirt some and it comes out like a rocket ship; getting all over one of his resumes we printed. It looks like jizz...

One of the head guys walks in a says:

“I hope he didn’t hand you the resume like that.”

To which one of our ops people, let’s call her Sara, says...

“No, leanrob just REALLY likes his resume!!!”

> I almost fucking died from laughter

This is what happens when you lie about your sheep herding experience on your Resume/CV.

Lol, my linkedin resume partly!

When you lie on resume and still get the job,
At work:

Oh boy!

Time to apply for dev jobs!

Good thing HR is fair and just!

*submits résume*

"I'm sorry but you're not qualified. The programming language we use is listed last on your resume."

Welcome to HR Hell ladies and gentleman.

*Knows Excel*
*adds Database Administrator to resume*

Expert in NoSQL

I have this one major pet peeve - getting interrupted on any messenger by "hey".

Q: Hey
A: Hey, what's up?

-minutes pass, I try to resume work-

Q: Do you have a second?
A: Sure, what's up?

-minutes pass, I try to resume work... Again-

Q: Do you know anything about #feature#?
A: Yeah, I wrote most of it, what do you need?

-minutes pass, I try to resume work... AGAIN-

(goes on same pattern, takes half an hour for a 10 second question/answer)

Like... Come on!!! Don't do this to me

I get it, I like to be cordial and friendly - but there is absolutely nothing stopping you from getting your message across without making me have to go back and forth (interrupting my work).

BOSS: i will need your resume for this new project, can you make it?
ME: sure, but don't you have one?
BOSS: yes, but i would need it changed for a new details
ME: ok...

after work...

BOSS: we have a problem, remember that resume? we need it on english, and need it right now, can you translate it at home?
ME: ok, but give me a few minutes...

sends translated resume...
BOSS: ummm, it's not translated well, you didn't translate your education...
ME: the name of the school? you can't translate that...
BOSS: this lady asked for it, so do it...
ME: ok...

sends again...
BOSS: not quite there yet, you have Ć in your last name, translate that...
ME: translate my last name?
BOSS: yeah, this lady has a spell check and saw that incorrect...
ME: .....

im going to celebrate when i leave this itterate shithole

PEOPLE. DO NOT LIE ON YOUR RESUME. IT. IS. NOT. WORTH. IT. Ok, backstory.

We had a guy apply for this position at work. It really needed to be filled but also required someone with just the right certifications, so hiring the first schmuck to come along Was not an option.

We search high and low and as time passes without an acceptable applicant we become more desperate and open to negotiation. Basically, you name your price, we’ll agree to it at this point.

So finally a guy comes in, got everything we need but one minor certification. No problem. He can get that on the job, he doesn’t need it to start. He’s hired.

So he quotes us a salary 10% above our top range of what we’d usually pay a guy for this position, we don’t care. He gets it. Plus a housing allowance.

So we’re getting him registered with a place to handle his certification process and they call his four year institution to verify his transcript. We work with hazardous materials and a four year degree in a relevant field is required. It’s standard for the certification training institution to check. Especially when it’s a prestigious big name place like this guy had. And here I used to think that was paranoid of them.

They call and tell us the school says they have no record of him. We do some digging. He was never registered there. I’m like “that’s not possible, his professor is a listed reference. We call that reference.

He worked on a project with this man, he never taught him. Is very fascinated to learn this man has been presenting himself as though he attended the university. Asks to be delisted as a reference.

So long story short it comes out this guy did have a degree in this field, just from a less prestigious university.

The insane thing is, he would’ve still gotten the same job and salary package if he’d been honest about his university!

It is a loss for all involved. He doesn’t have a job. We don’t have anyone working in this position. It’s really unfortunate. Don’t lie on your resume people. Your employer will find out and the risks are not worth the benefits.

1. Spend a week learning InDesign and create an awesome resume.
2. Upload and send the PDF resume around with applications.
3. Have ppl ask for a Word file...

I once had Javascript and jQuery on the same line in my resume (no longer the case).

Was told I clearly didn't know what I was talking about because "Javascript and jQuery are two completely different languages"

Rewriting my resume to pass the algorithm for a job IDENTICAL to mine in responsibilty, but with fewer hours and more pay...

Due by Thursday. Wish me luck

Resume: experience in c, c++, java and Android.
Recruiter: DO YOU HAVE 10+ YEARS EXPERIENCE WITH SWIFT AND IOS??!!

Please don't put this on your resume and definitely don't list a language at 50% just because you used it once for a project.
We both know you're over exaggerating and all you'll do is waste my time.

Applying to jobs be like

It's here 😀 Now I can resume testing my projects peacefully on real device instead of that crashing Android emulator. I still miss my Nexus 6P.

Let's discuss the salary !

Actually considering to put "seeding torrents" under social work in my résumé XD

Your resume:
Git
SSL
Vue
Angular
React
Node
Spring boot
MySQL
MongoDb
HTML
CSS
Java
Javascript
Bootstrap
Cassandra
Hive
Hadoop
Block chain
GraphQL
Kubernetics
Jenkins
Azure
GCP

Interviewer:
Sorry, we need someone who knows AWS

Recruiters and devs in a nutshell

Q: Your resume says you're fast at solving math problems?!
A: Yes
Q: What's 214x21?
A: 3249
Q: But, that's not correct!?
A: Yes, but it was fast!

Ah, just followed a 35-line tutorial to create a window with a line in it using xlib.

Time to put "Professional Linux Graphical Developer" in the olde resume

I would have hired him 😐😁

Looking for Software Engineers with POOP experience!

That moment you realize that a recruiter refactored your resume and "corrects" Symfony to Symphony and sent it to multiple companies...

"We reviewed your resume and we're impressed! We now want you to complete this 6 hour coding challenge before giving you an interview."

So I just got out of a meeting where "like a YouTube for x" and "it isn't that complicated, just storing videos, documents, etc..."
Were used in the same sentence.

I'm already updating my resume.

Working at best buy (don't remember if I was geek squad yet or not).
"hi sir, that line hasn't moved in a while, I was headed up to help, but let me ring you up here so you can get on with your day."
"thanks!"
...random talking leads to graduation and what's next...
"my friend works at *company* and seems to really like it. I gave him my resume when he asked, but i guess is boss can't hire anymore people or something, so I'm applying other places. It's been about a year."
"oh. Hi. I'm boss. Send resume again"

For any job, you can include in your resume, without a hint of lying, that you are Time magazine person of the year 2006. Seriously.

The moment I see a mention of "preferred pronouns" on your resume, It's gonna get thrown in the bin, straight up.

I don't want my colleagues/team members to tiptoe around you.

I am waiting for the time when we will start linking our devRant profile on resume.

Angelina Lee's resume
Ultra succesful, got spammed by recruiters constantly

Using laravel for 2 page resume website.

Manager: That last dev you hired is working out well. Where did you get him from?

Dev: *Looking at new hire’s resume which only contains a single bootcamp and nothing else*

Dev: He’s a rescue.

Did an interview this morning. Candidate had JavaScript on their resume but was mostly backend. Called themselves "senior" after 3.5 years of doing CMS upgrades and no coding.

Since JavaScript was on the resume I asked "what is the difference between == and === in JavaScript?" candidate completely failed.

Please offshore devs, don't put tech on your resume if you can't answer the most basic of questions. Don't call yourself senior when you've never even coded anything from scratch yourself.

I’ve been job hunting for a month with very few calls when I realised my resume didn’t have my phone number or my email.

I’ve been interviewing for half a decade.

Why yes, I am indeed retarded thanks for asking.

Recruiters now a-days :
Recruiter : I noticed you have java script experience on your resume, we’re looking for a junior Java developer with 7 years of experience

Me : -_____________-

After finishing up a resume on Photoshop:

"Please submit a Word or PDF file not more than 2MB."

Wrote a python script and debugged in about 3 hours. Script saves a colleague 20 hours per week. #resumeworthy

When you receive tens of JAVA job offers, just because your online resume says you are good at "Javascript".

TL;DR
A "friend" is a tech fraud. Faking his resume as a software engineer! Only interested on the salary. This is unfair to all of us putting the hours of effort/practice just to improve our craft! 😠😤

I have a "friend" who is faking his resume, putting fake experiences and putting jargons not even related to tech just to make himself smart. He's using his customer service rep experience to talk confidently. His resume fcking long, 3 pages of fakery. I can't help, but to laugh when he sent it to me.

He has a tech degree, but worked in a BPO industry for 4 years, then recently, he quit. He got jealous with the lucrative software development industry and he wants to relearn coding, as a friend and I like sharing my knowledge, I agreed to guide him in the process.

After 3 moths, he got his first job, but unfortunately he got fired after two weeks because he commited sensitive data to the remote repo.

Then after a month, he got his second job and worked there for 6 months, he still don't know what his doing and always ask me solutions when he is stuck.

He got his 3rd job, remote work with high compensation. Fast forward after 3 months, he only got 1 month of salary, the other 2 wasn't given for unknown reason, my best guess is the company noticed his experience on paper does not match on real life.

Currently, he's working on another remote work with same compensation as before, and he still asks me super simple questions from time to time.

This is so unfair to all the devs who truly deserves the opportunity.

Why does a big company only look at your diploma and a startup only look at your github ?

Linux set up on laptop day 2: can't make the screen lock after resume from suspend, can't connect to my VPN, can't set key bindings in i3wm... But I did successfully set my wallpaper.

I got a resume where instead of attaching his resume, the poor guy accidentally attached a letter from his mom telling him to get a job and stop taking money from his grandfather. He didn’t get an interview either. I still wonder if he ever stopped mooching off his grandpa.

HR: Do you have any questions?
Candidate: Yes, In case I'm not selected, can you give back my resume? I have another interview on 3rd floor today.

Started learning python. Never looked at any Python code and I was able to do a simple if statement. Python, you're going on my resume!

Sums up how I felt making my résumé and personal website right after finishing studies

Why the fuck someone write "used linux to speed up development" in your resume. But when you have to use it, questions like "where to download git for linux?" appears?

Don't lie in your resume or in the interview.

People know you're not an expert at everything, nobody expects that from anybody (and you should really avoid working for anybody who does)

I've never learned how to program : I'm still learning.

Even if it's said 5 years of experience on my resume, I feel like I'll be a never-ending student.

Resume skills: C, C++, American.

For some reason, lots of people list that they have a "high attention to dental" on their resumes for a design position.

I should put "Have 3 years of meetings experience" in my resume.

*Goes for an interview*

Interviewer reads my resume and goes on to say : "You are the first person today, whose resume doesn't include 'machine learning' ".
Me : *Points towards Machine Learning written in my resume* Sir here it is.

We both have a good laugh about it.

That day i realised that EVERYONE is 'learning' machine learning. EVERYONE.

I’m updating my résumé, and want to redo it from scratch — I’ve just been migrating the same document between OpenOffice (and later LibreOffice) versions for 15+ years, so it’s pretty buggy now.

As I’m redoing it from scratch anyway, does anyone have any suggestions on what I should build it in/with instead? Is there anything that works particularly well?

I’ve been considering learning and using Latex, but I’m not sure.

I just updated my resume and added the following:

2 years of Carbon experience.

When i hear people saying they have worked on * IoT * what most mean. *facepalm*

Attended an interview, interviewer started calling me sir (Which I took as sarcasm).

Giving so many interviews, I was use to basic oops question. This guy just offers me a job based on my resume.

Felt nice but fishy.

team is hiring interns and one candidate put “googling” on their resume as a skill - appreciate the honesty

I think I should start mentioning my devrant id in my resume.

Just a thought, my points will prove that atleast I have good sense of humor :D

HR: On your resume it says you went to Yale.
Me: Yes, for my sister’s graduation.

I'm going to add "Ability to memorize numerous passwords" to my resume.

So I'm job hunting and trying to beat ATS systems like the cool programmer I try to be.

Same company, two postings - first position I sent my resume to, rejected me after a day. Second position that I optimized my resume about 2% more, immediate interview request.

Here's the kicker, interview is done using an AI.

So basically I spent time trying to beat one robot just to be video interviewed by another robot.

Welcome to the future ladies and gents.

Was having an internship interview, and the guy starts laughing while reading my resume and says:
"don't put visual basic on your resume if you don't want to work with it"
I proceeded to remove it ASAP.

Writing my resume in LaTex just so I can list it as a skill on my resume.

I'm gonna resume work on my library, and i'm about retest the theory that you program better if you are a bit tipsy.

Interviewing tip #2: If you're going to lie about what you do at your current job on your resume, remember what lies you put...

Quite recently I received an email from a recruiter who first claimed that they had seen my resume, told me I may be a great fit for a job of one of their clients, and then proceeded to list the job description. That's typical, but what caught my eye was the fact that the first requirement he mentioned was 7+ years experience with Java. If he had actually read my resume, he probably would've seen that not only do I not have any experience with Java, but that I am a 20-year-old who made damn sure to put on my resume that I only have 2 years of experience in total...

It feels like companies pretend that unpaid internships are important for a resume just so they can have people slave away at their own cost year after year...

Throw it in the trash

Dear companies.

Please don't read resume on holidays.
It make me doubt work environment.

I never finished college. It says so on my resume, in plain English. I don't try to hide it.

A recruiter tells me I'd be a good fit, I give the green light, and he calls back two days later to ask: "Hey, when did you get your degree?"

Me: "I didn't."

I haven't heard from him since. Is it that hard to read a resume?

Got feedback after job interview #33:
Yeah we don’t think you have enough corporate experience...

YOU COULD HAVE READ THAT IN MY RESUME BITCH! STILL YOU SPEND MY FUCKING TIME AND GAS!

Just to amend to my rant a year or two back where I said literally nobody uses anything I made:
Sweet sweet success :)
Finally, I have something nice to put on a resume.

Man, I'm sure there are a million of these posts right now but...

The hiring market and hiring culture nowadays is so damn frustrating. I have a decade of experience in multiple senior/lead/principal roles at both big name companies and high-growth startups, along with a very well-written resume.

Even with this, I can barely get an interview these days. I'll apply to a role that lists qualifications for which I'm an exact fit, and either get a quick auto-denial or just never hear back at all. It doesn't matter if I custom-craft my resume and cover letter to match the job description or just send my standard resume and cover letter. We all love those pandering and patronizing "We know that this isn't the news you wanted to hear, but keep trying! Maybe you'll be good enough for us someday!" auto-denial email.

Sometimes I'll receive a denial, look back at the job posting, that they needed somebody with NLP experience or something, and say to myself "Fair enough, that makes sense." Other times, I'll look at the posting and say "Oh come on, I check every single box." It makes you wonder "What the fuck are you actually truly looking for?"

Sometimes I'll look at the company's current employees and see that almost every single one is ex-FAANG, indicating that the company will almost only hire other ex-FAANG employees (despite there being thousands of other well-qualified candidates out there who are just as talented and skilled as those ex-FAANG candidates.)

Other companies seem to be "brand shopping" for ex-FAANG employees after all the recent FAANG layoffs, hoping to land a bargain on an ex-Google engineer so they can brag that their product was built by the same people who built Google.

Then there's the question of even making it past the ATS and in front of an actual human's eyes. The hiring culture seems to be an ATS SEO game nowadays. God forbid that you didn't include the super secret magic keyword in your resume, else you'll automatically be filtered out and denied.

It's just incredibly frustrating and makes you wonder what kind of candidate you need to be to even get a first round interview nowadays. Do we all need to have a glowing personal recommendation from the ghost of Steve Jobs in order for a 50-person startup to even open our resumes?

Any job interview were I have included the three years of Adobe Flash development on my resume.

First time committing a ticket is scary… I can’t stop thinking how my colleagues and tech lead gonna look at my code and question me if I lied on my resume…

Resume says: Entry level marketing position for a leading company in *censored* industry.

Reality: I stand beside the road waving a 6 ft tall tall sign for a few hours a day while watching YouTube videos at the same time.

That's what is resume for

7 page resume
13 jobs, some only lasting 3 months
TONS of grammatical and spelling errors.
Descriptions of each job has several lines just saying he "created functions; interfaces; abstract classes; classes".... For a jr/senior level developer job? Why are we interviewing him?

I quit my previous job to relax. Then current job came out of nowhere.
How? I just added a new framework I tried to my resume.
Best decision made so far.

I hate updating my resume.

A project in my friend's resume

I'm going to add "keeping up with email" to my resume.

I are programmer. I know Excel

Fucking A.I. resume filter bots.

As if tech interviews weren't hard enough, I have to fill my resume with keywords to get past a bot! Every damn application and cover letter has to be unique.

And when I get past a bot, a hiring manager replies with "Sorry, you seem to have more experience with Typescript than JavaScript, and we can't take that risk."

It's the same.damn.language.

Yes, I spend my spare time with C and Python. Why does that say "unsuitable candidate" instead of "versatile"??!!

$#*%!?&@ tech industry.

Take your "Good luck with your future endeavors" and stuff it up your ass.

So this dubass left our company but convinced my boss to migrate our new stuff stack to react+firebase...

Already distributing my resume...

External Dev. Job aplication website - please attach resume. CLICK. Unknown document format: (your format .pdf, acceptable format .PDF). 🤔

I can now put docker in my resume finally 😁🔥

My personal resume website. Damn my lazy ass, can't do anything. 😥

Recruiter reaches out to me, he says he saw my LinkedIn and thinks I'd be a great fit.

I say ok and send my resume.

He gets me a phone screen. I do it, I think I do a pretty good job. (I'm able to answer all the questions well, I think I'm onto the coding interview for sure.)

A couple days later I get a generic rejection email.

I'm not sure what happened. They had my resume, I know I did well on the technical questions (I do that kind of thing for my current job all the time.)

No idea why I'm rejected. If it was something about my experience, they could have seen that from my resume. If it was something from my phone screen, I have no idea what it could have been.

Just wanted to rant >:[

How common is it for development job applicants to lie about their skillsets and experience?

Had an applicant come interview for a senior software engineer role, has been in the same company for 8 years and his resume is sprayed with almost every tech speciality and language there is, claims to be proficient in 8+ languages, done AWS server migrations, built CI/CD pipelines from scratch, written CloudFormation scripts, built microservices, worked with AWS services and serverless platforms, has managed a team, does salary and performance reviews

My gut feeling is when someone claims to have knowledge and experience across multiple specialities, they’re skills in any of those domains are only skin deep

Why the fuck do resume maker apps have a monthly/annual subscription?

I mistyped graduate year in my resume.......

I went to every career fair in college. Every semester I dressed up, redid my resume, and went like a champion desperate for work. Last fall I went, and only gave one resume. As I was leaving, I turned back after a question popped into my mind. Watched the recruiter put that resume in the trash. Worlds worst recruiter.

Been so long, sup guys. bringing you good news (at least for me).

just got accepted on my new job. the funny thing is. i legit put "Made 16 bit CPU in Minecraft" on my resume. LMAO

YES YOUTUBE. I AM FUCKING HERE. I WOULD LIKE TO CONTINUE LISTENING TO MY FUCKING MUSIC IN THE BACKGROUND WITHOUT YOU ALERTING ME EVERY 15 MINUTES IF I WANT TO RESUME MY FUCKING MUSIC. FUCK YOU

Recruiters who cold e-mail me get hard and specific questions before I ever give them a resume and phone number. Been doing this too long to just randomly hand a resume and contact info to whoever. YOU came to ME. Make it worth my while.

Luck, grinding leetcode and using the hottest buzzwords in your resume to spark recruiters. Or having Yale in your resume in spite of your major being deer fecal biology and a minor in chemical analysis of deer semen (with doctoral experience in manual extraction of semenical fluid from bucks during rutting season...and no it doesn’t count as beastiality bc it’s science and it’s an Ivy League study so it’s a-ok)

I hope we are allow to add corona virus survivor as a skill on resume.

Résumé 101

"Keyboard not found, press F1 to resume..."

^^ Good job right there.

Learning languages and frameworks after accepting the job,

Best thing I did this year.

I managed to learn waayyyy more and end up with a better skill set and resume.

Fuck Workday! Fuck any company that uses Workday! Fucking stop parsing resume if you’re bad at it! Fucking stop asking to fill the same information in the resume I just uploaded!

Know your resume, from top to bottom.

Is “highly skilled at resolving conflicts” something I can put on my resume?

Pro Tip: Add a technology that you want to learn to your resume and send it in order to stop procrastinating learning it

Every recruiter voicemail.

Hi (name)

Your resume recently came across my desk and I wanted to reach out and let you know about a couple positions I'm working on. I've looked over your resume and you look like you'd be a great fit.

IT Dept creates an update installer with a Message of "Your computer will restart now to install updates" with only an OK button when your in the middle of work with multiple apps and windows open...

1. Kill Process
2. Resume Work

When you post an opening for a junior developer, and the only resume you get is a "Senior Developer with Team Lead Experience" you interview them anyway...

When that interview reveals their resume is fiction, and they're very junior.

web dev agency makes a job ad that fits exactly my skill set.
*send an email in a good form with resume and everything*
No acceptance, no decline, no "we'll look at it", just nothing...
just fucking die already -_ -

In addition to rewrite everything that's on my resume I hate having to create a profile when job hunting, just let me upload my resume for fuck sake

When you look at your Resume and realise, how much sh't you've been through for the sake of money. 😀👻💩👼

I've never been a frontend guy, I only could modify existing FE code and had some clues about how to write a hello-world using angular.

I've just refactored ~150 files in an Angular project, created half a dozen new modules and modularized lots of loose artefacts.

And after recompiling the project still works! And is now more maintainable!

I think I now can safely add "Angular" to my resume :)

P.S. Damn it, Angular is cool!!!

I feel very anxious when developers interviewing me asks
1. is nodejs single threaded or multithreaded ?
2. How does node handle requests
3. How do u manage concurrency
4. What is event emitter and callback.

Dude i have given you my resume, without knowing these things i could never do that ?

I feel the discussion must be based on concepts and general problem solving rather than focusing on one technology. Tech can always be learnt.

Incident 0:
1. Saw an interesting job opening
2. Sent the resume
3. Received an email mentioning not qualified.

Incident 1:
1. Saw an interesting job opening
2. Sent the resume
3. Hr scheduled an interview
4. Interview went good
5. Havent heard any thing ftom hr yet, neither positive nor negative.

I hope I dont need to mention the countries in both cases.

So this guy I know mentions a 7/10 proficiency in web development on his resume and doesn't know about the web console in browsers.

I do operations on null objects to attempt to explain why my world is always crashing.

Then I resume coding. And crying.

Went up to a booth of some small company with nobody in line and they rejected me flat out because I hadn't had a previous internship. they laid out their requirements (which were higher than Microsoft's I might add) and then said they still wanted to keep my resume. i told them that their requests were ridiculous, then grabbed my resume out of their hands and told them I'd give it to somebody worth my time

Passed out college this year...
Got a job too (lucky 😀)
Now all juniors are asking me how to prepare for placements... N keeps asking my resume..
And m saying everyone same stuff.. DS and algo is must.. n chk my LinkedIn for resume..
Soon, seems like m gonna tell them join devRant first and then I will say further..
Note: Placement starts in few weeks and they care now on how to prepare for it.. Folks say it's better to start late than never.. but still.. I wud love to help them but asking same questions repeatedly not gonna help them..

#Ransomware :US engineers trying to find antivirus, Europe engineers finding preventing tools, meanwhile Indian engineers already updated their resume with " Worked/Implemented anitvirus for ransomware"
Meanwhile. . Indian HR consultants asking for minimum 5 years experience in handling "ransomware"

*sees a new tech/framework/language*

*dives straights to download just checking for windows/mac/linux*

*downloaded product doesn't start/gives error/complains because some prerequisites are not met*

*after some frustration it starts to work*

*To not offend the Gods, writes "Hello World"*

*Carry a "Hackerman" face all day*

*Updates resume*

Make a folder about your idea, generate a visual studio solution about it, and bam, you got something to write in your resume.

I have 2 rules as I apply to every internship, don't rewrite my entire resume or linkedin. And I'm not jumping through 20 hoops to get ghosted

Somebody claimed to be an "ex-McDonalds chef". This is right up there with "prompt engineer". Buahahahahahahaha!!!

I guess I should put on my resume: "Hardee's Chef - 2 years" hahahahahaha!!!

After the tornado that is @notroot has blown over, I think it is safe to resume normal ranting behaviour.

Thanks 👍

Self taught JavaScript developer here

Is there any exams or online courses or certification I can take to make my resume more fancier ~

Evaluating developer resumes: 3 pages of resume but no github link. #showmethecode

Why does it take 3 interview stages to get a 3-month internship...
That's ignoring the personalised CV, resume and cover letter for each one as well.

Can't imagine the fun of getting an actual job!!

There was that „very heavy knowledge“ (that was his self proclamation) visual basic coder (vb6 that was) who always started with „on error resume next“... it was the only glue to let his programm „work“...

I hate hate hate writing résumés for dev positions. Each posting requires that you guess wildly about their stack therefore write a totally new résumé. You don't get a job because you omitted the keyword "Newtonsoft" when mentioning your Dotnet Core experience. Hiring departments have one job and they universally suck at it for tech.

What do you put in your resume if you get an offer from google?

recruiter: "perfect, you seem the kind of guy we're looking for this role. but can you explain this gap in your resume?"
me: "I'm sorry but I've signed an NDA(non-disclosure agreement)"

So at what point are you good enough at something that you add it to your resume?

Guys, I have an interview Friday to a company I don't necessarily want to work for but I need the job because I just finished a coding boot camp not too long ago. What are some templates for Fintech, business macho companies that I can work on? Also, my resume sucks ass. Any advice is appreciated.

i built a script to auto-update my cv and republish every time i visit a website that mentions a technology not currently on my resume.

Maintain an up to date resume and work portfolio. Contribute to open source projects. Network with other professionals. Pursue professional development.

Does having a good rank on Stack Overflow reflects positiveness on your Resume? Share your experience(s).

Resume question:

I have knowledge of the tools and languages used where I'm applying. But my experience is in a completely different area (still CS though).

Any thoughts how I can let the employer know that I am skilled? Even if my experience doesn't show it.

Side project I wish I could finish... updating my resume and building a portfolio so I can get a new job.

Adding "highly skilled in code divination and paying off bankrupcy-level technical debt" to my resume.

Thanks PHPepsi, you trained me good for this...

Does nobody want a dev intern in Lod Angeles? Been calling companies all day telling them I'll work for free lol. at lady they're taking my resume

I use Linkedin but I wonder why people still asks me my resume. It sure feels not DRY to have 2 places to keep your career history. 🙄

#developerfeels

Any ideas about a python based project that shows looks good on resume?? 😬😬

I left my previous job being disgruntled over insane hours and being underpayed.

Took a 3 month break, whilst shotgun blasting my CV and Resume at places. A few stuck. I chose the one that had the best passion to pay ratio.

If there was a team architect role at your company per team that had no financial benefit tied to it and you were told it had no bearing on promotional chances and it came with a lot of extra responsibility and then you were asked to be interviewed (technical and behavioral) by two people outside your team in order for your manager to determine who on your team should have that role even though the last TA (who left the company) on your team was literally chosen by popular vote… would you do it? Would you feel insulted being asked?

I edited my project's github page and changed the background and buttons....
I guess it's time to add css and html mastery to my resume 😉

Our college interns:

*Push completed project source to remote repo at end of dev course.*

*List Git as skill in resume.*

Fucking job recruiters or whoever the fuck.

If the first line on my resume is under "Objective" and it states, "To obtain a job, internship, or Co-op in the field of Networking, Cybersecurity, or Administration." You can clearly see the world sales and customer service are not in there.
If you take 5 seconds to read that or search for the words customer service or sales YOU WON'T FUCKING FIND ANYTHING​.
SO WHY THE FLYING FUCK DO YOU CUMBUCKET FILLED PIECES OF SHIT KEEP OFFERING SALES AND CUSTOMER JOBS TO ME.
I even got a senior sales position before. :|
Yet I can't even get a call back from an internship that's related to what I want to do lol. Smh.

Stumbled upon on a linkedin profile just now. He is an Award-Winning, Certified Resume writer
.
.
.
seriously? 🤔

I apply to a company. Their system loses my resume, so they contact me to submit it again saying they like what they see in my application (had to write code for them and include info that's also on my resume). I send my resume. Less than 8 hours later the fuckers email me to say I'm no longer being considered.

So in Chrome, "resume browsing" doesn't actually mean resume browsing, it means "take a shit in the top right corner of my screen and kick it about a bit".

Must be satisfying to create a feature and know that 10 million people open it by accident every day and swear at it.

Do you think dropping off in person your resume to companies have slight edge or not? If you did drop off your resume how did you do it?

Specially in big companies like amazon or other big companies?

It's getting to the point where I can put on my resume "make Word formating more gooder". It's amazing how dumb this is making me feel for how often I have to do it.

Recruiter rant.
Me as a fresher.
Submit your resume?
I thought you went through it before you called me down.
Yes, but I will need a copy.
Don't you have it in your inbox.
(And I was rejected.)

Does anyone know any offline program like jsonresume to create pdf resumes..? It seems jsonresume is broken, and everytime i try it builds a pdf with no theme at all..

I need a resume where space is not wasted and i dont want to rewrite the entire css to make that happen. Suggesting a specific jsonresume theme i.e. style.css and .hdr file would also help because i found a blog where it was explained how to build a html resume using these..

And is there any offline html to pdf converters ?

Always remember to update your resume -before- you need it.

If my 'official' job title was programmer but I was also doing network troubleshooting and administration as well as server configuration cause we had no one experienced to do it should I include that on my resume or would it look fake?

Should I only include the programming stuff since that was my job title

Last night I had a dream that knowing how to use Kali Linux was one of the requirements for a job I was looking at applying for.

So I was thinking to myself "hey, I know Kali, I should put that on my resume," but I was too lazy to do it right away, and when I did try to add it, my resume wouldn't compile (LaTeX) because one of the brackets was missing, but I couldn't find where the missing bracket was.

It was weird...

On Error Resume Next

Another change...
To the end of a week, I'll upload that promised by me CV/resume templates

on every company i worked for, i always had this "senior" team mate that seems really knowledgeable with the way he talks and just by looking at his resume but doesn't reflect on his work. smh

Too lazy to resume coding. Professionally slack off by tidying up codes. Using Beautify.

I updated my resume.
My new career objective is to score enough ++ so that I can afford a tiger pet on my devrant avatar!!

on your resume, did you put how good/experienced you are at each skill?

Quick question to all the other devs. I am learning libgdx(the multiplatform thing) to make an Android app. Would that count as Android experience for future jobs? Or game development? What skills am I building for a resume?

Just in : Saw an HTML designer writing professional "coder" in his resumé. Can HTML(and CSS) designers be considered coders?

3 months old branch! And I have to resume work on it! git pull origin master ….. fuck me!!

Sorry to break your heart but if u have 3yrs of expert here is no way you are a senior software engineer, no matter how good you are

Err. Any web developers or recruitment people able to please give me feedback on my resume?

I'd greatly appreciate the help 😭

Create a resume
Include your educational background.
Include your work experience.

Upload resume to a job site.
Fill out a custom form requiring the exact same information in the resume.

Makes sense.

best font for cv/resume? any suggestions or advice?

Clearing up my schedule, just got an 18 page resume for the position of mobile lead...
Thanks man I am gonna "read" the whole thing ...Fuck no I did not even read beyond first 4 lines...I got shit to do...like ranting about it...

Would putting a website that helps people download pdfs/ebooks for free (aka illegally) on my portfolio/resume be a stupid idea?

Adding new entry for my experience on my resume:
Shit Wader

I spent eight years in college doing very little progress and didn't graduate in the end ("studied" CS). I'm pretty sure I have severe ADHD and can't even afford to try and treat it/medicate it.

Anyway, I understand the eight-years-in-college-without-graduating matter looks very bad on a resume, but it's a good college (one of the top in my country) that gave me invaluable knowledge in what little I managed to accomplish there.

The way in which LinkedIn allows me to put college education only allows me to input (and in fact in most websites it's kinda required) start and end years, but to be truthful I gotta set these years with their huge span and some kind of observation that I didn't graduate...

This really gives me huge anxiety, and discourages me from even applying to jobs at all, feels like I've ruined my chances at getting into the industry, feels like it locks me away from opportunities, and I know how bad it looks for the HR people, who probably just reject me outright because on top of everything I'm not even the kind of person to particularly attract positive attention from the "normies" as they say.

So, should I just not put my incomplete/dragged out "education" on LinkedIn? I'm not sure if *some* CS education with extremely poor academic results is better than showing no history of higher education at all.

I was preparing a resume for an internship,I just realized i have nothing to mention in extra curricular activities.Apart from coding i only watch football and tv series and that doesn't count.

Literally anything to add to my resume under projects.

I was just preparing my resume, since the old one was too immature . Realised that i couldnt put anything of note..that wasnt immature..

A complete year wasted on nothing..

So I have question about my resume.
During my college time, I have done two projects related to politics:
One is to analyze the bias of media. What I did is scrape news covers for Trump and Hillary during election year and get sentiment analysis. The result is not surprising that among NY Times, NBC, Fox, Eashington Post, and CNN, Fox news is clearly favoring Trump, since Fox news is a republican news site.
The other project I did was to analyze the speech complexity and sentiment of the election. One of the observation we made was that Hillary and Trump are almost at the same level regarding speech complexity. However, Trump has a more positive sentiment in the speech, which is true consider how much he loves to say make America great again.

Now the question is, when I gave my advisor my resume, she said that I'd better not put those two projects on my resume since they are related to politics.

But, I am applying for a data science master degree. Seriously, I was just collecting the data and the data speaks for himself, why should I take those projects off my resume? I'm very proud of those projects I did as a matter of fact.

So here is the question. Shall I take off those two projects on my resume because they were political or I should leave it thereawarreally need some professional views. Please.