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Got a job with EA
Went down like this during the interview
Hiring Manager: your second part of your resume seems to be missing?
Me: second part is $20
Hiring Manager: Welcome on board8 -
Got a couple laughs at an interview for the software listed in my resume:
"Sublime Text 3 (unregistered)"
😉20 -
#wannaCry :
*US engineers trying to find antivirus.
*Europe engineers finding preventing tools
*Meanwhile Indian engineers already updated their resume with " Worked/Implemented anitvirus for wannyCry"
Meanwhile. .
Indian HR consultants asking for minimum 5 years experience in handling "wannacry"6 -
My first interview.
Interviewer looks at my resume, asks me questions about the projects that I had done at that time.
Tells me he hadn't done this much when he was of my age.
Rejected.13 -
Designers,
■■■■■■■ please
■■■■ stop
■■■■■■■■■ using
■■ charts
■■■■■ to show
■■■■■■■ your skills
■■■■ in your
■■■■■■■ resume17 -
Interviewing a candidate for a dev position.
Interview is over and handshakes commence.
After the interview we have a debrief in a room that has hand sanitizer in it (just coincidence).
I squirt some and it comes out like a rocket ship; getting all over one of his resumes we printed. It looks like jizz...
One of the head guys walks in a says:
“I hope he didn’t hand you the resume like that.”
To which one of our ops people, let’s call her Sara, says...
“No, leanrob just REALLY likes his resume!!!”
> I almost fucking died from laughter3 -
Oh boy!
Time to apply for dev jobs!
Good thing HR is fair and just!
*submits résume*
"I'm sorry but you're not qualified. The programming language we use is listed last on your resume."
Welcome to HR Hell ladies and gentleman.2 -
My PC when I use it: "..."
My PC when I look at something on my phone: *gentle fan hum*
My PC when I resume activity : "..."
My PC, 5 minutes after leaving it: **VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV**
** sits down, still big fan blowing, open up the task manager to see what's bugging the system **
** PC calms down **
I have an overly attached PC?16 -
I have this one major pet peeve - getting interrupted on any messenger by "hey".
Q: Hey
A: Hey, what's up?
-minutes pass, I try to resume work-
Q: Do you have a second?
A: Sure, what's up?
-minutes pass, I try to resume work... Again-
Q: Do you know anything about #feature#?
A: Yeah, I wrote most of it, what do you need?
-minutes pass, I try to resume work... AGAIN-
(goes on same pattern, takes half an hour for a 10 second question/answer)
Like... Come on!!! Don't do this to me
I get it, I like to be cordial and friendly - but there is absolutely nothing stopping you from getting your message across without making me have to go back and forth (interrupting my work).9 -
BOSS: i will need your resume for this new project, can you make it?
ME: sure, but don't you have one?
BOSS: yes, but i would need it changed for a new details
ME: ok...
after work...
BOSS: we have a problem, remember that resume? we need it on english, and need it right now, can you translate it at home?
ME: ok, but give me a few minutes...
sends translated resume...
BOSS: ummm, it's not translated well, you didn't translate your education...
ME: the name of the school? you can't translate that...
BOSS: this lady asked for it, so do it...
ME: ok...
sends again...
BOSS: not quite there yet, you have Ć in your last name, translate that...
ME: translate my last name?
BOSS: yeah, this lady has a spell check and saw that incorrect...
ME: .....
im going to celebrate when i leave this itterate shithole18 -
Facebook made my day: "Your email and resume say Unix-like systems, which is not exactly Unix."
Source: http://imgur.com/hw2pnDt16 -
PEOPLE. DO NOT LIE ON YOUR RESUME. IT. IS. NOT. WORTH. IT. Ok, backstory.
We had a guy apply for this position at work. It really needed to be filled but also required someone with just the right certifications, so hiring the first schmuck to come along Was not an option.
We search high and low and as time passes without an acceptable applicant we become more desperate and open to negotiation. Basically, you name your price, we’ll agree to it at this point.
So finally a guy comes in, got everything we need but one minor certification. No problem. He can get that on the job, he doesn’t need it to start. He’s hired.
So he quotes us a salary 10% above our top range of what we’d usually pay a guy for this position, we don’t care. He gets it. Plus a housing allowance.
So we’re getting him registered with a place to handle his certification process and they call his four year institution to verify his transcript. We work with hazardous materials and a four year degree in a relevant field is required. It’s standard for the certification training institution to check. Especially when it’s a prestigious big name place like this guy had. And here I used to think that was paranoid of them.
They call and tell us the school says they have no record of him. We do some digging. He was never registered there. I’m like “that’s not possible, his professor is a listed reference. We call that reference.
He worked on a project with this man, he never taught him. Is very fascinated to learn this man has been presenting himself as though he attended the university. Asks to be delisted as a reference.
So long story short it comes out this guy did have a degree in this field, just from a less prestigious university.
The insane thing is, he would’ve still gotten the same job and salary package if he’d been honest about his university!
It is a loss for all involved. He doesn’t have a job. We don’t have anyone working in this position. It’s really unfortunate. Don’t lie on your resume people. Your employer will find out and the risks are not worth the benefits.14 -
1. Spend a week learning InDesign and create an awesome resume.
2. Upload and send the PDF resume around with applications.
3. Have ppl ask for a Word file...16 -
Life is about spamming. Want to get into a relationship? Spam every girl you see and like in the streets and ask nicely.
Want more clients? Spam.
Want a job?
Tell everyone you know, that you search for a job.
Send a resume to every company you desire. Spam.9 -
Rewriting my resume to pass the algorithm for a job IDENTICAL to mine in responsibilty, but with fewer hours and more pay...
Due by Thursday. Wish me luck8 -
Resume: experience in c, c++, java and Android.
Recruiter: DO YOU HAVE 10+ YEARS EXPERIENCE WITH SWIFT AND IOS??!!8 -
Do you spell it github or jithub?
So this person i met on one interview.
// Looking thru my resume
P: so you have put this code on jithub right?
Me: yeah, on github.
... // A moment of silence from him.
So, which one is the correct?18 -
Please don't put this on your resume and definitely don't list a language at 50% just because you used it once for a project.
We both know you're over exaggerating and all you'll do is waste my time.
13 -
Your resume:
Git
SSL
Vue
Angular
React
Node
Spring boot
MySQL
MongoDb
HTML
CSS
Java
Javascript
Bootstrap
Cassandra
Hive
Hadoop
Block chain
GraphQL
Kubernetics
Jenkins
Azure
GCP
Interviewer:
Sorry, we need someone who knows AWS8 -
It's here 😀 Now I can resume testing my projects peacefully on real device instead of that crashing Android emulator. I still miss my Nexus 6P.
19 -
Recruiter: We found you resume as a perfect match for this job, my client needs a Junior frontend developer ...., that sounds good to you?
Me: Yes, I’d like to apply but you have to be aware that I’m a Junior.
R: of course, don’t worry about it, please send your resume (ah? I thought you already have it) so we can go on with the process.
Me: ok.
... 5 fucking weeks of interviews later...
R: Hi, unfortunately we cannot proceed with you application, my client is looking more for a Senior FullStack Lord of the 7 kingdoms Master degree developer, sorry.
Me: u kidding me right?3 -
Recruiters and devs in a nutshell
Q: Your resume says you're fast at solving math problems?!
A: Yes
Q: What's 214x21?
A: 3249
Q: But, that's not correct!?
A: Yes, but it was fast!4 -
Ah, just followed a 35-line tutorial to create a window with a line in it using xlib.
Time to put "Professional Linux Graphical Developer" in the olde resume -
So I got a call from a recruiter this morning, about a job for a C++ developer what experience developing for embedded systems.
He sent my resume off to the company and they actually want an in person interview the same day.
I'm going to this interview in 2 hours, I'm really nervous, I haven't had an interview in years...
Wish me luck!12 -
That moment you realize that a recruiter refactored your resume and "corrects" Symfony to Symphony and sent it to multiple companies...8
-
"We reviewed your resume and we're impressed! We now want you to complete this 6 hour coding challenge before giving you an interview."9
-
So I just got out of a meeting where "like a YouTube for x" and "it isn't that complicated, just storing videos, documents, etc..."
Were used in the same sentence.
I'm already updating my resume.4 -
Working at best buy (don't remember if I was geek squad yet or not).
"hi sir, that line hasn't moved in a while, I was headed up to help, but let me ring you up here so you can get on with your day."
"thanks!"
...random talking leads to graduation and what's next...
"my friend works at *company* and seems to really like it. I gave him my resume when he asked, but i guess is boss can't hire anymore people or something, so I'm applying other places. It's been about a year."
"oh. Hi. I'm boss. Send resume again"6 -
I found an interesting job post on SO, I decide to apply. It comes with a programming test. A simple unit test that must pass (see current-1 post). I get it passing, go to send off my resume and code and the fucking email they supplied isn't valid or active. Fuck you. Eat dicks. Useless fucking HR.
-
For any job, you can include in your resume, without a hint of lying, that you are Time magazine person of the year 2006. Seriously.1
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I’ve been job hunting for a month with very few calls when I realised my resume didn’t have my phone number or my email.
I’ve been interviewing for half a decade.
Why yes, I am indeed retarded thanks for asking.7 -
Started sending my resume to a few select companies. My job is secure (for the moment at least) but I cannot work with someone who is anti-vaccination, believes men and dinosaurs coexisted and International Space Station is out there to meet and greet his Lord...
Wish me luck17 -
TL;DR
A "friend" is a tech fraud. Faking his resume as a software engineer! Only interested on the salary. This is unfair to all of us putting the hours of effort/practice just to improve our craft! 😠😤
I have a "friend" who is faking his resume, putting fake experiences and putting jargons not even related to tech just to make himself smart. He's using his customer service rep experience to talk confidently. His resume fcking long, 3 pages of fakery. I can't help, but to laugh when he sent it to me.
He has a tech degree, but worked in a BPO industry for 4 years, then recently, he quit. He got jealous with the lucrative software development industry and he wants to relearn coding, as a friend and I like sharing my knowledge, I agreed to guide him in the process.
After 3 moths, he got his first job, but unfortunately he got fired after two weeks because he commited sensitive data to the remote repo.
Then after a month, he got his second job and worked there for 6 months, he still don't know what his doing and always ask me solutions when he is stuck.
He got his 3rd job, remote work with high compensation. Fast forward after 3 months, he only got 1 month of salary, the other 2 wasn't given for unknown reason, my best guess is the company noticed his experience on paper does not match on real life.
Currently, he's working on another remote work with same compensation as before, and he still asks me super simple questions from time to time.
This is so unfair to all the devs who truly deserves the opportunity.21 -
Recruiters now a-days :
Recruiter : I noticed you have java script experience on your resume, we’re looking for a junior Java developer with 7 years of experience
Me : -_____________-4 -
Wrote a python script and debugged in about 3 hours. Script saves a colleague 20 hours per week. #resumeworthy9
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When you receive tens of JAVA job offers, just because your online resume says you are good at "Javascript".1
-
Linux set up on laptop day 2: can't make the screen lock after resume from suspend, can't connect to my VPN, can't set key bindings in i3wm... But I did successfully set my wallpaper.10
-
HR: Do you have any questions?
Candidate: Yes, In case I'm not selected, can you give back my resume? I have another interview on 3rd floor today.2 -
I got a resume where instead of attaching his resume, the poor guy accidentally attached a letter from his mom telling him to get a job and stop taking money from his grandfather. He didn’t get an interview either. I still wonder if he ever stopped mooching off his grandpa.5
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Started learning python. Never looked at any Python code and I was able to do a simple if statement. Python, you're going on my resume!5
-
For some reason, lots of people list that they have a "high attention to dental" on their resumes for a design position.5
-
Why the fuck someone write "used linux to speed up development" in your resume. But when you have to use it, questions like "where to download git for linux?" appears?1
-
Don't lie in your resume or in the interview.
People know you're not an expert at everything, nobody expects that from anybody (and you should really avoid working for anybody who does)2 -
I've never learned how to program : I'm still learning.
Even if it's said 5 years of experience on my resume, I feel like I'll be a never-ending student.1 -
*Goes for an interview*
Interviewer reads my resume and goes on to say : "You are the first person today, whose resume doesn't include 'machine learning' ".
Me : *Points towards Machine Learning written in my resume* Sir here it is.
We both have a good laugh about it.
That day i realised that EVERYONE is 'learning' machine learning. EVERYONE.4 -
team is hiring interns and one candidate put “googling” on their resume as a skill - appreciate the honesty7
-
I'm gonna resume work on my library, and i'm about retest the theory that you program better if you are a bit tipsy.
24 -
Attended an interview, interviewer started calling me sir (Which I took as sarcasm).
Giving so many interviews, I was use to basic oops question. This guy just offers me a job based on my resume.
Felt nice but fishy.3 -
So I'm job hunting and trying to beat ATS systems like the cool programmer I try to be.
Same company, two postings - first position I sent my resume to, rejected me after a day. Second position that I optimized my resume about 2% more, immediate interview request.
Here's the kicker, interview is done using an AI.
So basically I spent time trying to beat one robot just to be video interviewed by another robot.
Welcome to the future ladies and gents.7 -
What do you use for resume (CV) and why?
Word (gdocs or libre)
LaTeX
Markdown
Jsonresume schema
Something else?
Also how does that work form a maintenance standpoint?28 -
I think I should start mentioning my devrant id in my resume.
Just a thought, my points will prove that atleast I have good sense of humor :D2 -
Interviewing tip #2: If you're going to lie about what you do at your current job on your resume, remember what lies you put...10
-
Got feedback after job interview #33:
Yeah we don’t think you have enough corporate experience...
YOU COULD HAVE READ THAT IN MY RESUME BITCH! STILL YOU SPEND MY FUCKING TIME AND GAS!3 -
Just to amend to my rant a year or two back where I said literally nobody uses anything I made:
Sweet sweet success :)
Finally, I have something nice to put on a resume.
26 -
I was recently interviewing a fresh college graduate. According to his resume, he had practically invented machine learning. He eats kaggle datasets for breakfast and was all set to invent a cure for cancer with deep learning. And then, I ask him a simple question. What is 's' in 'https' and he says... "simple".3
-
Quite recently I received an email from a recruiter who first claimed that they had seen my resume, told me I may be a great fit for a job of one of their clients, and then proceeded to list the job description. That's typical, but what caught my eye was the fact that the first requirement he mentioned was 7+ years experience with Java. If he had actually read my resume, he probably would've seen that not only do I not have any experience with Java, but that I am a 20-year-old who made damn sure to put on my resume that I only have 2 years of experience in total...4
-
It feels like companies pretend that unpaid internships are important for a resume just so they can have people slave away at their own cost year after year...3
-
I never finished college. It says so on my resume, in plain English. I don't try to hide it.
A recruiter tells me I'd be a good fit, I give the green light, and he calls back two days later to ask: "Hey, when did you get your degree?"
Me: "I didn't."
I haven't heard from him since. Is it that hard to read a resume?5 -
7 page resume
13 jobs, some only lasting 3 months
TONS of grammatical and spelling errors.
Descriptions of each job has several lines just saying he "created functions; interfaces; abstract classes; classes".... For a jr/senior level developer job? Why are we interviewing him?8 -
Resume says: Entry level marketing position for a leading company in *censored* industry.
Reality: I stand beside the road waving a 6 ft tall tall sign for a few hours a day while watching YouTube videos at the same time.1 -
I just made a quick throwaway business card to give with my resume during a job fair Friday at my college. Hopefully it helps me stand out a little bit more.
Sorry for the blurry photo. Took it on phone. I’m fixing spacing before I export and print
11 -
Recruiter: how many years of experience do you have?
Me : 4
Recruiter: the client wants someone with a minimum of 5 years
Me : okay then, let me know if anything else is available.
Recruiter: You can change your resume... just add a year.
Me : ???? No thanks
Recruiter: they’ll never know ... you can tell them later
Me : ....2 -
Been so long, sup guys. bringing you good news (at least for me).
just got accepted on my new job. the funny thing is. i legit put "Made 16 bit CPU in Minecraft" on my resume. LMAO6 -
And then I thought why not turn my resume into something weird and nerdy. And the result is this, a web app which looks like a terminal and connects to an actual Ubuntu terminal. It's not great, but it's something. 😃
https://resume-rahul-ramteke.herokuapp.com/...22 -
So this dubass left our company but convinced my boss to migrate our new stuff stack to react+firebase...
Already distributing my resume...2 -
"This guy already has a job and probably gets contacted 30 times a week by other recruiters. I'm gonna send him a message telling him that I need a developer, no job description and no salary specified, with a company he never heard of. Yeah, he will totally send me back his resume"2
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External Dev. Job aplication website - please attach resume. CLICK. Unknown document format: (your format .pdf, acceptable format .PDF). 🤔1
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Deamn, finally finished watching Silicon Valley. I didn't study nothing for like 1 week and a half...
Finally I can resume my HTML studies and make a new free internet!6 -
How common is it for development job applicants to lie about their skillsets and experience?
Had an applicant come interview for a senior software engineer role, has been in the same company for 8 years and his resume is sprayed with almost every tech speciality and language there is, claims to be proficient in 8+ languages, done AWS server migrations, built CI/CD pipelines from scratch, written CloudFormation scripts, built microservices, worked with AWS services and serverless platforms, has managed a team, does salary and performance reviews
My gut feeling is when someone claims to have knowledge and experience across multiple specialities, they’re skills in any of those domains are only skin deep8 -
IT Dept creates an update installer with a Message of "Your computer will restart now to install updates" with only an OK button when your in the middle of work with multiple apps and windows open...
1. Kill Process
2. Resume Work6 -
Here's to not realizing how much experience you gained over the past couple years until you start reforming your resume and portfolio.
-
Every recruiter voicemail.
Hi (name)
Your resume recently came across my desk and I wanted to reach out and let you know about a couple positions I'm working on. I've looked over your resume and you look like you'd be a great fit.3 -
Ranters!
A couple of days ago I started development on a cross platform command line tool to read and post rants from terminal, but other devs were working on it too.
I haven't seen anything on here about those though, so I wondered: Is there any need for me? Aka, should I resume development?10 -
web dev agency makes a job ad that fits exactly my skill set.
*send an email in a good form with resume and everything*
No acceptance, no decline, no "we'll look at it", just nothing...
just fucking die already -_ -4 -
Learning languages and frameworks after accepting the job,
Best thing I did this year.
I managed to learn waayyyy more and end up with a better skill set and resume. -
Pro Tip: Add a technology that you want to learn to your resume and send it in order to stop procrastinating learning it
-
When you look at your Resume and realise, how much sh't you've been through for the sake of money. 😀👻💩👼
-
Incident 0:
1. Saw an interesting job opening
2. Sent the resume
3. Received an email mentioning not qualified.
Incident 1:
1. Saw an interesting job opening
2. Sent the resume
3. Hr scheduled an interview
4. Interview went good
5. Havent heard any thing ftom hr yet, neither positive nor negative.
I hope I dont need to mention the countries in both cases.4 -
When you post an opening for a junior developer, and the only resume you get is a "Senior Developer with Team Lead Experience" you interview them anyway...
When that interview reveals their resume is fiction, and they're very junior.
1 -
How effective is to have my own webpage where I can show my portfolio for the company recruiters?
Do they really take the time to see the page?
If positive, what host do you recommend?
I'm not in the web dev environment btw, so it's not that obvious.21 -
Went up to a booth of some small company with nobody in line and they rejected me flat out because I hadn't had a previous internship. they laid out their requirements (which were higher than Microsoft's I might add) and then said they still wanted to keep my resume. i told them that their requests were ridiculous, then grabbed my resume out of their hands and told them I'd give it to somebody worth my time1
-
*sees a new tech/framework/language*
*dives straights to download just checking for windows/mac/linux*
*downloaded product doesn't start/gives error/complains because some prerequisites are not met*
*after some frustration it starts to work*
*To not offend the Gods, writes "Hello World"*
*Carry a "Hackerman" face all day*
*Updates resume* -
I do operations on null objects to attempt to explain why my world is always crashing.
Then I resume coding. And crying. -
So this happened a few days ago.
Me: (chilling like a mo'fucka then suddenly an email alert)
*Opens email and realises it's from a recruiter*
Recruiter: We are a venture-based startup out of LA, funded by a top VC. We have developed the first turnkey Serverless Swift platform for app development.
We are looking at expanding our team and we have a few different openings for remote and contract work.
Simply reply to this email with your resume attached.
Me: Thanks for reaching out and presenting me with this opportunity.
I plan on going back to school this January and for that reason I humbly have to bow out.
I will surely keep an eye out for {company_name}. The idea is rather interesting I should say.
*I go back to chilling like a mo'fucka*
*The next day I'm at work, I get an email from the same recruiter again*
Recruiter: Thank you for submitting your resume.
We are expanding our team and are looking for Swift rockstars to join the movement of bringing server-side Swift to the masses.
We were impressed by your resume and wanted to get to know you better. This survey is the first step in that process.
Please take a moment and complete. It should not take longer than 10 minutes.
Me: ...........................
*Calmly walks away from my desk to the bathroom*
WHAT FUCKING RESUME HAVE I SUBMITTED TO YOU? BITCH, MY EMAIL EXPLICITLY SAID: THANKS BUT NO THANKS...
You can't just force an applicant3 -
Dear recruiters
Please have the courtesy to reply whether my resume is shortlisted or not, I don't want your personally crafted rejection mails, an automatic rejection mail will save a lot of job hunters a lot of time. we have other things to focus on than waiting for your mails. -
Today I made some lights turn on and off with Gpio on my Rpi and some php, really happy and I'm going to work on it cause the landing site is really ugly. Would it be appropriate to add "mechanical engineer" and additional to web developer to my resume now? 😂😂1
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What do you think about my resume?
I would like to apply for other jobs, im tired of my shitty actual job.
I'm worried about the ranting on the resume, is that politically correct?
https://drive.google.com/file/d/...13 -
#Ransomware :US engineers trying to find antivirus, Europe engineers finding preventing tools, meanwhile Indian engineers already updated their resume with " Worked/Implemented anitvirus for ransomware"
Meanwhile. . Indian HR consultants asking for minimum 5 years experience in handling "ransomware"3 -
Passed out college this year...
Got a job too (lucky 😀)
Now all juniors are asking me how to prepare for placements... N keeps asking my resume..
And m saying everyone same stuff.. DS and algo is must.. n chk my LinkedIn for resume..
Soon, seems like m gonna tell them join devRant first and then I will say further..
Note: Placement starts in few weeks and they care now on how to prepare for it.. Folks say it's better to start late than never.. but still.. I wud love to help them but asking same questions repeatedly not gonna help them..1 -
@dfox - Idea for weekly rant - worst candidate that showed up to a job interview.
Had a solid resume, claimed to be a Java king, top notch. First question after he sat down: How to create a thread-safe singleton in Java using double-checked locking?
Guy didn't know the answer. - NEXT!14 -
So this guy I know mentions a 7/10 proficiency in web development on his resume and doesn't know about the web console in browsers.6
-
Getting cooped at home to a avoid COVID is annoying because it got me remembering my ex. I hate myself for shutting down a few days thinking of him. If only there is an "Empty trash" button for emotions. Finally I get better today. I resume studying for work and target to pass the certification. Strive to be better!3
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I hate hate hate writing résumés for dev positions. Each posting requires that you guess wildly about their stack therefore write a totally new résumé. You don't get a job because you omitted the keyword "Newtonsoft" when mentioning your Dotnet Core experience. Hiring departments have one job and they universally suck at it for tech.7
-
Make a folder about your idea, generate a visual studio solution about it, and bam, you got something to write in your resume.1
-
[LinkedIn, Recruiter InMail]
Hello,
I am Lazy As Fuck, and I'm looking for people to work for a company that pays me for doing nothing.
Do you know anyone that is an Angular developer? If you do, please tell them to send me their resume and phone number.
Thanks.2 -
I have 2 rules as I apply to every internship, don't rewrite my entire resume or linkedin. And I'm not jumping through 20 hoops to get ghosted
-
I knew AngularJS, just learnt Angular. Realized what typescript is and how amazing it is. I am a .Net guy so creating lambda functions in typescript made me excited lol. It's a little frustrating to write "imports" in every TS file though. Can now add ✔️Angular and ✔️typescript to my resume 😉. Starting with Vue.JS as soon as I am done playing with Angular.2
-
In response to https://www.devrant.io/rants/334693
Resume is updated. Had an old HR co-worker friend reach out. Had a tour of the office. Introduced to the hiring manager. Scheduling a coffee with my potential boss. I really want this!3 -
One day you're looking for a job for almost half a year, and the next you're being called by a company because they stumbled upon your resume (indirect path) ?dafuq? Wel today was that day, i hope I pass the intake though, wish me luck1
-
Resume question:
I have knowledge of the tools and languages used where I'm applying. But my experience is in a completely different area (still CS though).
Any thoughts how I can let the employer know that I am skilled? Even if my experience doesn't show it.6 -
There was that „very heavy knowledge“ (that was his self proclamation) visual basic coder (vb6 that was) who always started with „on error resume next“... it was the only glue to let his programm „work“...
-
Guys, I have an interview Friday to a company I don't necessarily want to work for but I need the job because I just finished a coding boot camp not too long ago. What are some templates for Fintech, business macho companies that I can work on? Also, my resume sucks ass. Any advice is appreciated.
5 -
i built a script to auto-update my cv and republish every time i visit a website that mentions a technology not currently on my resume.4
-
Side project I wish I could finish... updating my resume and building a portfolio so I can get a new job.1
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After the tornado that is @notroot has blown over, I think it is safe to resume normal ranting behaviour.
Thanks 👍5 -
Why does it take 3 interview stages to get a 3-month internship...
That's ignoring the personalised CV, resume and cover letter for each one as well.
Can't imagine the fun of getting an actual job!!8 -
Does having a good rank on Stack Overflow reflects positiveness on your Resume? Share your experience(s).5
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Recently I have started working with a company with a codebase older than I am. Hundreds of different projects with GoTos everywhere, and all error handling rendered useless by the continuous use of On Error Resume Next.
I feel like a mixture of Indiana Jones amd Gordon Ramsay...2 -
Maintain an up to date resume and work portfolio. Contribute to open source projects. Network with other professionals. Pursue professional development.
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I left my previous job being disgruntled over insane hours and being underpayed.
Took a 3 month break, whilst shotgun blasting my CV and Resume at places. A few stuck. I chose the one that had the best passion to pay ratio. -
I think it's still ok if I erase other skills in my resume and left only with JavaScript. Holy crap JavaScript today unlike back in the days people think you're able to prompt user a client side, it's now another kind of alien. Es6 and stuff like react and react native. Master javaScript make me worth lot more than before. Not a rant :)
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I code. I'm not a network or security admin. Did you even read my resume before hiring me? It says "math degree then data analysis then programming degree" Subnets, firewalls and security certs are not my areas of expertise. Given enough time, could I stumble through? Probably. But I'd probably come up with something worthy of mocking on networkadminrant.
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As someone who often interviews devs, I can say you should be honest about your abilities. Just because you tweaked someone's Python code doesn't mean you are a Python expert. Stick to the facts on your resume/cv. Also, have a good code portfolio. That shows the interviewer much more than a degree does.4
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No racist but most of the self-claimed expert freelance programmers from India really pissed me off! Their resume has one common pattern, many of them are expert in more than 5 languages.6
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Well, finally got a personal domain to host my resume and projects. Just need some design inspiration now!
www.kaustubh.tech
The current option looks too fucking dry! Do check it out guys... And if you have any suggestion please let me know, because I am NOT a designer.11 -
Uhmm. How do you guys write your resume? I mean, there seems to be a lot of ways and taboos on writing one, some say it shouldn't be more than 2 pages. But in some domain, the longer the better. As a software developer how should it look? Some are project-oriented others opt for work-company-experience-oriented.5
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I use Linkedin but I wonder why people still asks me my resume. It sure feels not DRY to have 2 places to keep your career history. 🙄
#developerfeels -
Fucking job recruiters or whoever the fuck.
If the first line on my resume is under "Objective" and it states, "To obtain a job, internship, or Co-op in the field of Networking, Cybersecurity, or Administration." You can clearly see the world sales and customer service are not in there.
If you take 5 seconds to read that or search for the words customer service or sales YOU WON'T FUCKING FIND ANYTHING.
SO WHY THE FLYING FUCK DO YOU CUMBUCKET FILLED PIECES OF SHIT KEEP OFFERING SALES AND CUSTOMER JOBS TO ME.
I even got a senior sales position before. :|
Yet I can't even get a call back from an internship that's related to what I want to do lol. Smh.1 -
I apply to a company. Their system loses my resume, so they contact me to submit it again saying they like what they see in my application (had to write code for them and include info that's also on my resume). I send my resume. Less than 8 hours later the fuckers email me to say I'm no longer being considered.6
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Our college interns:
*Push completed project source to remote repo at end of dev course.*
*List Git as skill in resume.*4 -
I updated my resume.
My new career objective is to score enough ++ so that I can afford a tiger pet on my devrant avatar!!5 -
Adding "highly skilled in code divination and paying off bankrupcy-level technical debt" to my resume.
Thanks PHPepsi, you trained me good for this...1 -
Do you think dropping off in person your resume to companies have slight edge or not? If you did drop off your resume how did you do it?
Specially in big companies like amazon or other big companies?4 -
Stumbled upon on a linkedin profile just now. He is an Award-Winning, Certified Resume writer
.
.
.
seriously? 🤔6 -
I edited my project's github page and changed the background and buttons....
I guess it's time to add css and html mastery to my resume 😉 -
Last night I had a dream that knowing how to use Kali Linux was one of the requirements for a job I was looking at applying for.
So I was thinking to myself "hey, I know Kali, I should put that on my resume," but I was too lazy to do it right away, and when I did try to add it, my resume wouldn't compile (LaTeX) because one of the brackets was missing, but I couldn't find where the missing bracket was.
It was weird...1 -
Recruiter rant.
Me as a fresher.
Submit your resume?
I thought you went through it before you called me down.
Yes, but I will need a copy.
Don't you have it in your inbox.
(And I was rejected.)2 -
Does anyone know any offline program like jsonresume to create pdf resumes..? It seems jsonresume is broken, and everytime i try it builds a pdf with no theme at all..
I need a resume where space is not wasted and i dont want to rewrite the entire css to make that happen. Suggesting a specific jsonresume theme i.e. style.css and .hdr file would also help because i found a blog where it was explained how to build a html resume using these..
And is there any offline html to pdf converters ?6 -
Just in : Saw an HTML designer writing professional "coder" in his resumé. Can HTML(and CSS) designers be considered coders?6
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on every company i worked for, i always had this "senior" team mate that seems really knowledgeable with the way he talks and just by looking at his resume but doesn't reflect on his work. smh1
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Ya’ll my resume finally made it through sales force ATS. 🥳
I got a test today on HackerRank in like 7 hours.
Profile: Security Events Analyst (SoC)
Please advise important topics that I should definitely polish.
It’s an entry level position :)1 -
I'm looking for collaborators for a site I'm making in laravel for my dad's apple/produce orchard business. I've pretty much have finished front end design but could use help in the back end development. I can't really pay anyone right now because I'm broke but it's more resume material and you would be helping a brother out so anyone interested let me know:)18
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It's getting to the point where I can put on my resume "make Word formating more gooder". It's amazing how dumb this is making me feel for how often I have to do it.1
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Quick question to all the other devs. I am learning libgdx(the multiplatform thing) to make an Android app. Would that count as Android experience for future jobs? Or game development? What skills am I building for a resume?5
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Err. Any web developers or recruitment people able to please give me feedback on my resume?
I'd greatly appreciate the help 😭24 -
If my 'official' job title was programmer but I was also doing network troubleshooting and administration as well as server configuration cause we had no one experienced to do it should I include that on my resume or would it look fake?
Should I only include the programming stuff since that was my job title5 -
I was preparing a resume for an internship,I just realized i have nothing to mention in extra curricular activities.Apart from coding i only watch football and tv series and that doesn't count.1
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Clearing up my schedule, just got an 18 page resume for the position of mobile lead...
Thanks man I am gonna "read" the whole thing ...Fuck no I did not even read beyond first 4 lines...I got shit to do...like ranting about it...5 -
PSA: start writing a cover letter, a resume, a references list and a CV now! Doesn’t matter if you are perfectly happy in your job! By the time something comes up it will be too late or something will prevent you from making it as good as it could be! These things take forever to write well!
This is has been especially tough for me as all my previous jobs have been the type that they were surprised to see I had a resume. Compiling years of professional experience into a decent looking document was a whole other rodeo. And now jobs are looking for CV’s which is a whole other other rodeo.5 -
We should start giving devRant profile link in Resume/CV lmao.
Hope that will be a new trend haha.6 -
Using AR in a CV - reasons for and against?
I don't wanna to show up as Soydev with emojis in his birth certificate which stuffs useless technologies everywhere.
But i also know that recruiters could remember me after that7 -
So I have question about my resume.
During my college time, I have done two projects related to politics:
One is to analyze the bias of media. What I did is scrape news covers for Trump and Hillary during election year and get sentiment analysis. The result is not surprising that among NY Times, NBC, Fox, Eashington Post, and CNN, Fox news is clearly favoring Trump, since Fox news is a republican news site.
The other project I did was to analyze the speech complexity and sentiment of the election. One of the observation we made was that Hillary and Trump are almost at the same level regarding speech complexity. However, Trump has a more positive sentiment in the speech, which is true consider how much he loves to say make America great again.
Now the question is, when I gave my advisor my resume, she said that I'd better not put those two projects on my resume since they are related to politics.
But, I am applying for a data science master degree. Seriously, I was just collecting the data and the data speaks for himself, why should I take those projects off my resume? I'm very proud of those projects I did as a matter of fact.
So here is the question. Shall I take off those two projects on my resume because they were political or I should leave it thereawarreally need some professional views. Please.1 -
Basic imposter syndrome and fear of getting called out on something and losing my job.
Or in my current situation where I have a terrible bastard of a manager, fear of not getting my resume updated and start calling people about jobs.
If I got fired right now, I honestly wouldn't care that much. This world is going to shit. -
Just read through Chris Lattner's resume - made me depressed. Twenty years in IT and I have basically achieved naught.
If you wanna get depressed too please feel free.
http://nondot.org/sabre/...1 -
I was just preparing my resume, since the old one was too immature . Realised that i couldnt put anything of note..that wasnt immature..
A complete year wasted on nothing.. -
Making a personal website for prospective employers to see my resume and code. I am currently a sophomore computer science student. What got you guys/gals hired?3
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What do you expect when you go to college to study programming? Tones of interesting tasks and learning up-to-date technologies and languages?
Nope, I have been studying Pascal for 4 years already... Can I write in my resume "senior Pascal"?1 -
!rant
Where the fuck y'all make your resume? My current one is made in Photoshop to accommodate things on one page.40 -
That moment that quite a few people want a CLI tool for devRant but very few actually have input :p
I love my job/hobbies.
About to start (or resume) development on the CLI tool, if you want to provide last-minute input you can do there here: https://github.com/ChappIO/devrant/...
or here: https://gitter.im/ChappIO/devrant5 -
I reached a new level of desperate
where i am replying to rejection emails
And wish my resume be considered for the next available job opportunities.
So sad and so bad3 -
!rant
Dev friends! I'm a teacher who is in the process of transitioning into the tech field. I've been working like crazy on and off in my spare time for the past couple years to build my skills and with it a resume. The other day I went to get someone with a developers perspective to proof read it and realised I didn't have anyone!
I hope I don't offend anyone by posting this here but I would appreciate that anyone who is willing and interested, if you would take a look at my resume repo I have and let me know what you think (on GitHub)! Please be critical, that's what makes things better! Side note. I'm constantly baffled by comradery in this community as a whole.
https://github.com/alexmdodge/...3 -
Someone asked about CVs, and I found this https://resumonk.com/blog/...
Disclaimer: I use (pay for) Resumonk.4 -
I started sending my resume everywhere so whoever accepts my person first and makes final offer the better or worse ( didn’t decided yet ) for them.
Probably better... I hope lol.
Let the fate decide... it never worked so I hope to not be disappointed also this time and got fucked up et the end.4 -
Weekend Rant
----------------------
What do you do on weekends?
Me: [Proudly] Oh... I keep my weekends very productive by learning how to write "Hello World" in another programming language and adding it to my resume :) -
I ended up removing my publications from my resume cuz I thought maybe some people are publicists. 😏7
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Apparently my resume does not get me anywhere, but when I am able show what I am able to do in person I largely overcome the expectations my resume sets up...
Do you have any suggestions on how to write a decent resume?5 -
Found some particularly nasty global state problems in an existing code base and fixed them. Now I can legitly add this to my resume:
"Prevented a Global Apocalypse" -
I started looking for something else. Send out my resume sunday, got an answer today and i’m invited.
Probably have an evaluation at the current company at the end of the month and i either want to have a plan B ,or just be gone soon because i’m the only frontender and i’m bored here most of the time.2 -
When your biggest and best projects are private repos on gitlab and bitbucket and you can't directly link them in your resume since the person/startup you made them for want the source code be kept private.6
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Why it's so difficult to get a junior php developer job in NYC? Should I bullshit on my resume because staying honest I couldn't even get phone interview! Feel like I'm a loser. Bad bad.4
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http://bloomberg.com/graphics/...
Re-reading this article today and still amaze me how someone can resume such a vast world of concepts. A must read -
Today I redacted all my girlfriend's SEO seo resume while clean his macbook of badblocks so she could be able to use my so hated osx...6
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I am planning on applying for a job doing crime lab IT support. I have acquired the necessary skills and added them to my resume.
Skills:
Visual Basic
Networking
UX/GUI
Interests:
Hacking
Tracking IP addresses1 -
I feel like my resume is subpar. Can anyone let me see how they incorporated the software they use and stuff onto their resume?1
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Life is too short to jump from A to B to add a click event to a button. When I was in college I thought by using angularjs it would give credit to my resume, now many companies look for reactjs, and that's just front end. Wtf technology!1
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why me resume is not getting selected anywhere..
can anyone give me some suggestions to improve it.
https://drive.google.com/file/d/...14 -
Maybe, the one who popularised that you shouldn't include a photo in your resume was ugly and he/she hated everyone.2
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Deep Rant
Been coding my private projects for longer than a while creating repositories on github but I hav been struggling to get an internship since I graduated and before i graduated a year ago whr i do send my resume im told to get more work experience what da fuck is dat if no1 wants an intern2 -
Publish your code on GitHub or any other platform, when you can. It will serve as a resume and your work can help others.
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If your resume lists 10 jobs and you've spent 1 year or less at each job and you were not a contractor, that is not viewed as a Good Thing. I toss those resumes in the trash.5
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A month ago, I spent a lot of time on looking for different types of CV/resume to find the one fits my needs. The problem with overleaf was that there many pages and too duplicate templates with minor changes.
So I tried to create a list of them with previews to quickly pick the best. don't forget to star if you want to update yours in future :
https://github.com/sadransh/...
1 -
People who write php and laravel together as their skills are the same who think knowing Microsoft word is the most impressive thing about them. Because notepad is too mainstream.1
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How do i prepare myself for speaking at conferences like jsconf,reactconf,nodejsconf??
And is it good for my resume? -
Spend few days to make reasonable profile on angel.co to get some job. After few months and hundreds of applies only few shitty responses for free work. Probably all recruiters are US based and see I'm from Europe so my e-cv goes right to e-shredder instantly. FML.
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Finally my portfolio.....
https://sudonitin.netlify.com/
Anyone has an idea how I can change the domain name using CNAME?7 -
Hi everyone,
It has been 6months since I am looking for a dev job.
I know I shouldn't post this on devrant ...
If anyone has any junior dev opportunity please ping me.
I am a tech agnostic and very adaptive.
open to learn new tech
Willing to relocate or work remotely.
Resume: https://instahyre-2.s3-ap-south-1.amazonaws.com/...7 -
At this point in tech, what's the point of sending a company your typed resume instead of just a link to your LinkedIn?12
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While hand-testing comment-posting functionality messed up the migrations and damaged local db. Had to recreate the whole set up (users, posts, etc) in order to resume the testing by hand.
Should've written the tests ;( -
Start my internship at ‘around 11:00’ today. That’s how it was put by the owner. The company doesn’t have an office so they meet in the home theatre of a mansion twice a week. Across from the indoor basketball court and ping-pong room.
If it’s not a real company, experience still looks good on a resume right?1 -
Resume read and review day! After going through nears as makes no difference 70 applications I have a grand total of 18 fuckwits who refer to themselves in the third person.
Julian has experience working with multi-disiplinary teams...
Danielle found her career path and professional purpose cultivating interests in digital communication...
TOO MANY WANK WORDS9 -
Hey guys I am going to finish my 3rd year of Engineering. And I am planning to do a summer intern. I need to create a resume. Can someone suggest me some good tools to create my resume and also the proper formats and everything. Thank you!
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Hey guys I've to make my CV/RESUME. Can you guys help me through it? I made couple of it but I didn't like any. I think I need to see some real CV/RESUME.1
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I'm still in high school, but want to have a good resume going. What format do you use for your internship? I have a website, I'm just not sure how to present my skills.2
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Has anyone had to start undergraduate/transfer studies a little bit late? Need help with CV/Resume.
So, I dropped out of University because I had to move to USA. And now I am applying for University here in Massachusetts. (transfer my studies to be precise)
I have worked since 2014 as a developer (currently working) and I want to know how to structure my CV/Resume for University.
Do I need a simple one just like when I apply for a job, or a detailed one 2-3 pages?
Thinking of applying at Boston University, Northeastern & UMass. -
How different should two different technologies be to consider putting both on your resume?
Like is it okay to put both CSS and Sass (https://sass-lang.com/dart-sass) or are they too similar to reasonably do so, what about javascript and 'Google App Script'
How do you determine if it's worth being on your resume orif you should only have the more known one on the resume unless the job requirements advertise the other?
And at what point do you 'know' enough to put it on your resume if i should? At what point can I say I 'know' sass or google script enough to advertise myself with it?2 -
So for awhile now I’ve been preparing myself for my first dev job as a .NET dev, and I’ve mostly just been polishing my C# knowledge with OOP, Entity Framework, ASP.NET and it’s been going really well.
So my self assigned time limit (end of August-beginning of September) is coming up and that’s when I’m gonna apply, so I decided today to take some time from programming to actually make my resume.
I did not use a template so it looks boring and I don’t have a lot to put on it but what I did put on it was important and I feel is solid (for not having worked before).
I’m having a few people I know look at it from a professional stand point and gave me feed back I implemented and it is better now.
I already linked my github, should I link my LinkedIn?
will people actually care if I don’t use a template to make it visually pop because I’d honestly rather keep it how it looks as is if I can.6 -
If you are asked to give a referral to a candidate for a job, what are the things that u r gonna focus on his/her resume ?2
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Hello fellow ranters! I've got a question to ask y'all. I'm looking to graduate in the Spring, and so I'm looking to fix up my resume. Any tips on what should be on it? I'm looking to get into software development3
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!rant
So has anyone added 'x years of experience in Intercal' to their resume? Bonus points if you convinced a recruiter it was a viable and sought after language. -
Debugging my resume built with some simple js/jQuery functions
Took 30 minutes
Missing a comma and semicolon I didn't even remove
I didn't know any other appropriate reaction so I just threw up instead -
I need to actually build up my website since all that's there is a digital resume currently
I have too many ideas for what I want like a simple blogging space, project showcase space, my teacher recommend a lanking page, and a better digital resume. but limited free time to figure out where to start and what to use and that's really demotivating
I'm thinking about using node or vue to learn a framework but again I'd have to learn them since all I know is normal unmodified js. And again where the hell do I start4 -
Do you think bullshit beats actual skills?
Would you build a bullshit resume to get your dream job?15 -
Is here anyone who really thinks that there is any benefit of participating in hackathons?
Acc. to me, hackathons doesn't makes a good developer but only a good resume(only if u win them)10 -
!rant
DevOps:
Is it worth the time and money to get AWS/GCP/Azure Certified? Other than adding a line to your resume...1 -
Any profile I get an internship in for, I end up fixing angular code, even if I never took the name of JS or close in my resume ! WHY GOD ?2
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1. New Job/ New project
2. Learns new language/framework
3. Works for a month or so
4. Priorities change
5. endlessly loop from 1 to 4
What do you mean one-page-resume?
1 -
How good of a StackOverflow reputation is enough to show off on a resume? How about NPM downloads?7
-
What is your opinion of having a LinkedIn profile with such details? Will it help or will it hurt? For me, I think it's too much.
https://linkedin.com/in/...
Please remain civil and no troll attacks.3 -
HR on LinkedIn...
Me: post update on getting a new job on 100 times better company then theirs
after a day...
random hr: we have openings.. send your resume to xyz@xyz.xyz...
adds in looking forward to hear from you. and adds connection request...
what are they actually expecting🤔!!! -
Is there an eloquent way to say you sped up your UI rendering by X percent with projections and sessionStorage? Or is this not a kind of point you'd want to hit on a resume?3
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!rant
Can the awesome devs here please critique my resume and give me some useful tips or how I could improve myself,or better yet devs, if you have a position at your work place help another dev out.
I'm a third year Grad student looking for Android Developer Internships for Summer 2017.
Resume link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/... -
How to write a great resume and Linkedin when im playing 3 roles at my current job?
Iwear many hats right now on my Job (you can check my LinkedIn, the link is on my devRant profile).
Right now im looking forward change job in 3 months or so, mostly due to non flexible working hours and somewhat toxic environment.
The problem im facing right now, id how to put all the stuff im doing right now in my profile without it sounding crazy or something like that.
I also see companies open positions for very specific roles, so i dont know how write a resume to apply to a job without excluding half of my skills from it to looks "specialized".
Other factor is that i really have fun doing diverse things on my Job, it is boring for me do a single thing for months.
How can i include everything i know in my resume? or what job title can resume all my expertise?
Thanks guys!
PD: If you are in an small startup, and trive working with people that wear many hats, contact me on LinkedIn! i can consider your offer1 -
This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang, but with : "The Microsoft Edge team is pausing updates to the Stable channel for Microsoft Edge. This means that Microsoft Edge 81 will not be promoted to Stable until we resume these updates."
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I once listed Apple's Multi-peer Connectivity framework as a skill on a resume. To this day, I still get emails addressing me as "Multipeer."
-
!rant
Ever since the Windows 10 anniversary update. Whenever I resume a video after pausing for a couple minutes on VLC the audio is super loud and distorted. I've been troubleshooting this for a long time and tried multiple driver versions and what not. Anybody else facing the same issue?2 -
Sent my resume to 70+ job positions and still waiting for their answer. Really, you had to sponsor my visa and use me in your team. Pleeeeease.
-
For the last two months, I've been taking online courses in using Selenium (website testing tool) under C# and Java. The courses have you set-up the testing framework in something called Page Object Model. What the hell?? I've been doing this since 2010 under 3 different tools. You mean the industry adopted it as a standard and gave it a name and I never knew this?! ARGH!! Time to update the resume again and say how long I've been using this type of testing framework (since before it had an official industry name).
It is nice to see work I have been doing for years has become an industry standard. Wish I had known that when I was putting my resume together back in March so I could have included that. Damn it, I wonder how many jobs I missed out on by not having that already in my resume.
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