When you mention in your resume that you are an active contributor to Linux source code.

Got a job with EA
Went down like this during the interview

Hiring Manager: your second part of your resume seems to be missing?
Me: second part is $20
Hiring Manager: Welcome on board

How CV works...

Got a couple laughs at an interview for the software listed in my resume:

"Sublime Text 3 (unregistered)"

😉

Just learned C# today. Excited to add it to my resume! 😁

Just printed "Hello World", time to put Python on my resume! 😎

#wannaCry :
*US engineers trying to find antivirus.
*Europe engineers finding preventing tools
*Meanwhile Indian engineers already updated their resume with " Worked/Implemented anitvirus for wannyCry"

Meanwhile. .
Indian HR consultants asking for minimum 5 years experience in handling "wannacry"

Designers,

■■■■■■■ please
■■■■ stop
■■■■■■■■■ using
■■ charts
■■■■■ to show
■■■■■■■ your skills
■■■■ in your
■■■■■■■ resume

My first interview.

Interviewer looks at my resume, asks me questions about the projects that I had done at that time.

Tells me he hadn't done this much when he was of my age.

Rejected.

How HR department reads your resume vs how a programmer reads your resume 😂

Interviewing a candidate for a dev position.

Interview is over and handshakes commence.

After the interview we have a debrief in a room that has hand sanitizer in it (just coincidence).

I squirt some and it comes out like a rocket ship; getting all over one of his resumes we printed. It looks like jizz...

One of the head guys walks in a says:

“I hope he didn’t hand you the resume like that.”

To which one of our ops people, let’s call her Sara, says...

“No, leanrob just REALLY likes his resume!!!”

> I almost fucking died from laughter

This is what happens when you lie about your sheep herding experience on your Resume/CV.

Lol, my linkedin resume partly!

When you lie on resume and still get the job,
At work:

*Knows Excel*
*adds Database Administrator to resume*

Oh boy!

Time to apply for dev jobs!

Good thing HR is fair and just!

*submits résume*

"I'm sorry but you're not qualified. The programming language we use is listed last on your resume."

Welcome to HR Hell ladies and gentleman.

Expert in NoSQL

20's Kids these days....

My PC when I use it: "..."

My PC when I look at something on my phone: *gentle fan hum*

My PC when I resume activity : "..."

My PC, 5 minutes after leaving it: **VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV**

** sits down, still big fan blowing, open up the task manager to see what's bugging the system **

** PC calms down **

I have an overly attached PC?

# realstory
One of my colleague's monitor got damaged. While the service guys took the monitor for repair, she sat free. When the manager asked her to connect to a spare monitor and resume work, she asked how could she? As all her work was saved in previous monitor.

If you are a developer and the resume you send me says "Certified Web Ninja" on it. I will invite you to an interview. But keep in mind, if you don't show up wearing all black and carrying a Katana, I will throat punch you and send you on your way.

I have this one major pet peeve - getting interrupted on any messenger by "hey".

Q: Hey
A: Hey, what's up?

-minutes pass, I try to resume work-

Q: Do you have a second?
A: Sure, what's up?

-minutes pass, I try to resume work... Again-

Q: Do you know anything about #feature#?
A: Yeah, I wrote most of it, what do you need?

-minutes pass, I try to resume work... AGAIN-

(goes on same pattern, takes half an hour for a 10 second question/answer)

Like... Come on!!! Don't do this to me

I get it, I like to be cordial and friendly - but there is absolutely nothing stopping you from getting your message across without making me have to go back and forth (interrupting my work).

BOSS: i will need your resume for this new project, can you make it?
ME: sure, but don't you have one?
BOSS: yes, but i would need it changed for a new details
ME: ok...

after work...

BOSS: we have a problem, remember that resume? we need it on english, and need it right now, can you translate it at home?
ME: ok, but give me a few minutes...

sends translated resume...
BOSS: ummm, it's not translated well, you didn't translate your education...
ME: the name of the school? you can't translate that...
BOSS: this lady asked for it, so do it...
ME: ok...

sends again...
BOSS: not quite there yet, you have Ć in your last name, translate that...
ME: translate my last name?
BOSS: yeah, this lady has a spell check and saw that incorrect...
ME: .....

im going to celebrate when i leave this itterate shithole

We already know your porn fetishes too.

1. Spend a week learning InDesign and create an awesome resume.
2. Upload and send the PDF resume around with applications.
3. Have ppl ask for a Word file...

I once had Javascript and jQuery on the same line in my resume (no longer the case).

Was told I clearly didn't know what I was talking about because "Javascript and jQuery are two completely different languages"

Life is about spamming. Want to get into a relationship? Spam every girl you see and like in the streets and ask nicely.
Want more clients? Spam.
Want a job?
Tell everyone you know, that you search for a job.
Send a resume to every company you desire. Spam.

Rewriting my resume to pass the algorithm for a job IDENTICAL to mine in responsibilty, but with fewer hours and more pay...

Due by Thursday. Wish me luck

Resume: experience in c, c++, java and Android.
Recruiter: DO YOU HAVE 10+ YEARS EXPERIENCE WITH SWIFT AND IOS??!!

Do you spell it github or jithub?

So this person i met on one interview.

// Looking thru my resume

P: so you have put this code on jithub right?

Me: yeah, on github.

... // A moment of silence from him.

So, which one is the correct?

Applying to jobs be like

Well that's a first.
A Chinese recruiter contacted me speaking entirely in what I suspect was Mandarin.

My resume and posted work experience lacks any mention of Mandarin, Cantonese, etc. Then again it also lacks any mention of Java, and yet recruiters still call me a Java master. 🤔

Please don't put this on your resume and definitely don't list a language at 50% just because you used it once for a project.
We both know you're over exaggerating and all you'll do is waste my time.

Let's discuss the salary !

Your resume:
Git
SSL
Vue
Angular
React
Node
Spring boot
MySQL
MongoDb
HTML
CSS
Java
Javascript
Bootstrap
Cassandra
Hive
Hadoop
Block chain
GraphQL
Kubernetics
Jenkins
Azure
GCP

Interviewer:
Sorry, we need someone who knows AWS

Actually considering to put "seeding torrents" under social work in my résumé XD

It's here 😀 Now I can resume testing my projects peacefully on real device instead of that crashing Android emulator. I still miss my Nexus 6P.

Recruiter: We found you resume as a perfect match for this job, my client needs a Junior frontend developer ...., that sounds good to you?

Me: Yes, I’d like to apply but you have to be aware that I’m a Junior.

R: of course, don’t worry about it, please send your resume (ah? I thought you already have it) so we can go on with the process.

Me: ok.

... 5 fucking weeks of interviews later...

R: Hi, unfortunately we cannot proceed with you application, my client is looking more for a Senior FullStack Lord of the 7 kingdoms Master degree developer, sorry.

Me: u kidding me right?

Recruiters and devs in a nutshell

Q: Your resume says you're fast at solving math problems?!
A: Yes
Q: What's 214x21?
A: 3249
Q: But, that's not correct!?
A: Yes, but it was fast!

Ah, just followed a 35-line tutorial to create a window with a line in it using xlib.

Time to put "Professional Linux Graphical Developer" in the olde resume

So I got a call from a recruiter this morning, about a job for a C++ developer what experience developing for embedded systems.

He sent my resume off to the company and they actually want an in person interview the same day.

I'm going to this interview in 2 hours, I'm really nervous, I haven't had an interview in years...

Wish me luck!

Looking for Software Engineers with POOP experience!

I would have hired him 😐😁

That moment you realize that a recruiter refactored your resume and "corrects" Symfony to Symphony and sent it to multiple companies...

"We reviewed your resume and we're impressed! We now want you to complete this 6 hour coding challenge before giving you an interview."

So I just got out of a meeting where "like a YouTube for x" and "it isn't that complicated, just storing videos, documents, etc..."
Were used in the same sentence.

I'm already updating my resume.

Working at best buy (don't remember if I was geek squad yet or not).
"hi sir, that line hasn't moved in a while, I was headed up to help, but let me ring you up here so you can get on with your day."
"thanks!"
...random talking leads to graduation and what's next...
"my friend works at *company* and seems to really like it. I gave him my resume when he asked, but i guess is boss can't hire anymore people or something, so I'm applying other places. It's been about a year."
"oh. Hi. I'm boss. Send resume again"

I found an interesting job post on SO, I decide to apply. It comes with a programming test. A simple unit test that must pass (see current-1 post). I get it passing, go to send off my resume and code and the fucking email they supplied isn't valid or active. Fuck you. Eat dicks. Useless fucking HR.

Using laravel for 2 page resume website.

I am waiting for the time when we will start linking our devRant profile on resume.

For any job, you can include in your resume, without a hint of lying, that you are Time magazine person of the year 2006. Seriously.

TL;DR
A "friend" is a tech fraud. Faking his resume as a software engineer! Only interested on the salary. This is unfair to all of us putting the hours of effort/practice just to improve our craft! 😠😤

I have a "friend" who is faking his resume, putting fake experiences and putting jargons not even related to tech just to make himself smart. He's using his customer service rep experience to talk confidently. His resume fcking long, 3 pages of fakery. I can't help, but to laugh when he sent it to me.

He has a tech degree, but worked in a BPO industry for 4 years, then recently, he quit. He got jealous with the lucrative software development industry and he wants to relearn coding, as a friend and I like sharing my knowledge, I agreed to guide him in the process.

After 3 moths, he got his first job, but unfortunately he got fired after two weeks because he commited sensitive data to the remote repo.

Then after a month, he got his second job and worked there for 6 months, he still don't know what his doing and always ask me solutions when he is stuck.

He got his 3rd job, remote work with high compensation. Fast forward after 3 months, he only got 1 month of salary, the other 2 wasn't given for unknown reason, my best guess is the company noticed his experience on paper does not match on real life.

Currently, he's working on another remote work with same compensation as before, and he still asks me super simple questions from time to time.

This is so unfair to all the devs who truly deserves the opportunity.

After finishing up a resume on Photoshop:

"Please submit a Word or PDF file not more than 2MB."

Started sending my resume to a few select companies. My job is secure (for the moment at least) but I cannot work with someone who is anti-vaccination, believes men and dinosaurs coexisted and International Space Station is out there to meet and greet his Lord...

Wish me luck

Recruiters now a-days :
Recruiter : I noticed you have java script experience on your resume, we’re looking for a junior Java developer with 7 years of experience

Me : -_____________-

Wrote a python script and debugged in about 3 hours. Script saves a colleague 20 hours per week. #resumeworthy

Why does a big company only look at your diploma and a startup only look at your github ?

Linux set up on laptop day 2: can't make the screen lock after resume from suspend, can't connect to my VPN, can't set key bindings in i3wm... But I did successfully set my wallpaper.

When you receive tens of JAVA job offers, just because your online resume says you are good at "Javascript".

Used to pay $5/mo on a small instance for my personal site. Then I discovered Kubernetes and realized my site didn't scale! No canary deployments! So I upgraded and pay $200/mo now. Took weeks to configure. Millions of people can now read my resume. Damn, it's never looked better

HR: Do you have any questions?
Candidate: Yes, In case I'm not selected, can you give back my resume? I have another interview on 3rd floor today.

Started learning python. Never looked at any Python code and I was able to do a simple if statement. Python, you're going on my resume!

Sums up how I felt making my résumé and personal website right after finishing studies

Why the fuck someone write "used linux to speed up development" in your resume. But when you have to use it, questions like "where to download git for linux?" appears?

Don't lie in your resume or in the interview.

People know you're not an expert at everything, nobody expects that from anybody (and you should really avoid working for anybody who does)

For some reason, lots of people list that they have a "high attention to dental" on their resumes for a design position.

Resume skills: C, C++, American.

I've never learned how to program : I'm still learning.

Even if it's said 5 years of experience on my resume, I feel like I'll be a never-ending student.

When i hear people saying they have worked on * IoT * what most mean. *facepalm*

team is hiring interns and one candidate put “googling” on their resume as a skill - appreciate the honesty

*Goes for an interview*

Interviewer reads my resume and goes on to say : "You are the first person today, whose resume doesn't include 'machine learning' ".
Me : *Points towards Machine Learning written in my resume* Sir here it is.

We both have a good laugh about it.

That day i realised that EVERYONE is 'learning' machine learning. EVERYONE.

Attended an interview, interviewer started calling me sir (Which I took as sarcasm).

Giving so many interviews, I was use to basic oops question. This guy just offers me a job based on my resume.

Felt nice but fishy.

I'm going to add "Ability to memorize numerous passwords" to my resume.

I'm gonna resume work on my library, and i'm about retest the theory that you program better if you are a bit tipsy.

Writing my resume in LaTex just so I can list it as a skill on my resume.

So I'm job hunting and trying to beat ATS systems like the cool programmer I try to be.

Same company, two postings - first position I sent my resume to, rejected me after a day. Second position that I optimized my resume about 2% more, immediate interview request.

Here's the kicker, interview is done using an AI.

So basically I spent time trying to beat one robot just to be video interviewed by another robot.

Welcome to the future ladies and gents.

What do you use for resume (CV) and why?

Word (gdocs or libre)
LaTeX
Markdown
Jsonresume schema
Something else?

Also how does that work form a maintenance standpoint?

Was having an internship interview, and the guy starts laughing while reading my resume and says:
"don't put visual basic on your resume if you don't want to work with it"
I proceeded to remove it ASAP.

I think I should start mentioning my devrant id in my resume.

Just a thought, my points will prove that atleast I have good sense of humor :D

Just to amend to my rant a year or two back where I said literally nobody uses anything I made:
Sweet sweet success :)
Finally, I have something nice to put on a resume.

Interviewing tip #2: If you're going to lie about what you do at your current job on your resume, remember what lies you put...

Got feedback after job interview #33:
Yeah we don’t think you have enough corporate experience...

YOU COULD HAVE READ THAT IN MY RESUME BITCH! STILL YOU SPEND MY FUCKING TIME AND GAS!

Quite recently I received an email from a recruiter who first claimed that they had seen my resume, told me I may be a great fit for a job of one of their clients, and then proceeded to list the job description. That's typical, but what caught my eye was the fact that the first requirement he mentioned was 7+ years experience with Java. If he had actually read my resume, he probably would've seen that not only do I not have any experience with Java, but that I am a 20-year-old who made damn sure to put on my resume that I only have 2 years of experience in total...

It feels like companies pretend that unpaid internships are important for a resume just so they can have people slave away at their own cost year after year...

I was recently interviewing a fresh college graduate. According to his resume, he had practically invented machine learning. He eats kaggle datasets for breakfast and was all set to invent a cure for cancer with deep learning. And then, I ask him a simple question. What is 's' in 'https' and he says... "simple".

I never finished college. It says so on my resume, in plain English. I don't try to hide it.

A recruiter tells me I'd be a good fit, I give the green light, and he calls back two days later to ask: "Hey, when did you get your degree?"

Me: "I didn't."

I haven't heard from him since. Is it that hard to read a resume?

Resume driven development!

7 page resume
13 jobs, some only lasting 3 months
TONS of grammatical and spelling errors.
Descriptions of each job has several lines just saying he "created functions; interfaces; abstract classes; classes".... For a jr/senior level developer job? Why are we interviewing him?

Any job interview were I have included the three years of Adobe Flash development on my resume.

I can now put docker in my resume finally 😁🔥

I just made a quick throwaway business card to give with my resume during a job fair Friday at my college. Hopefully it helps me stand out a little bit more.

Sorry for the blurry photo. Took it on phone. I’m fixing spacing before I export and print

Resume says: Entry level marketing position for a leading company in *censored* industry.

Reality: I stand beside the road waving a 6 ft tall tall sign for a few hours a day while watching YouTube videos at the same time.

Recruiter: how many years of experience do you have?
Me : 4
Recruiter: the client wants someone with a minimum of 5 years
Me : okay then, let me know if anything else is available.
Recruiter: You can change your resume... just add a year.
Me : ???? No thanks
Recruiter: they’ll never know ... you can tell them later
Me : ....

A project in my friend's resume

I'm going to add "keeping up with email" to my resume.

I went to every career fair in college. Every semester I dressed up, redid my resume, and went like a champion desperate for work. Last fall I went, and only gave one resume. As I was leaving, I turned back after a question popped into my mind. Watched the recruiter put that resume in the trash. Worlds worst recruiter.

"This guy already has a job and probably gets contacted 30 times a week by other recruiters. I'm gonna send him a message telling him that I need a developer, no job description and no salary specified, with a company he never heard of. Yeah, he will totally send me back his resume"

External Dev. Job aplication website - please attach resume. CLICK. Unknown document format: (your format .pdf, acceptable format .PDF). 🤔

I are programmer. I know Excel

So this dubass left our company but convinced my boss to migrate our new stuff stack to react+firebase...

Already distributing my resume...

That's what is resume for

Been so long, sup guys. bringing you good news (at least for me).

just got accepted on my new job. the funny thing is. i legit put "Made 16 bit CPU in Minecraft" on my resume. LMAO

My personal resume website. Damn my lazy ass, can't do anything. 😥

Deamn, finally finished watching Silicon Valley. I didn't study nothing for like 1 week and a half...
Finally I can resume my HTML studies and make a new free internet!

How common is it for development job applicants to lie about their skillsets and experience?

Had an applicant come interview for a senior software engineer role, has been in the same company for 8 years and his resume is sprayed with almost every tech speciality and language there is, claims to be proficient in 8+ languages, done AWS server migrations, built CI/CD pipelines from scratch, written CloudFormation scripts, built microservices, worked with AWS services and serverless platforms, has managed a team, does salary and performance reviews

My gut feeling is when someone claims to have knowledge and experience across multiple specialities, they’re skills in any of those domains are only skin deep

I hope we are allow to add corona virus survivor as a skill on resume.

Pro Tip: Add a technology that you want to learn to your resume and send it in order to stop procrastinating learning it

Résumé 101

"Keyboard not found, press F1 to resume..."

^^ Good job right there.

IT Dept creates an update installer with a Message of "Your computer will restart now to install updates" with only an OK button when your in the middle of work with multiple apps and windows open...

1. Kill Process
2. Resume Work

Here's to not realizing how much experience you gained over the past couple years until you start reforming your resume and portfolio.

Learning languages and frameworks after accepting the job,

Best thing I did this year.

I managed to learn waayyyy more and end up with a better skill set and resume.

Ranters!

A couple of days ago I started development on a cross platform command line tool to read and post rants from terminal, but other devs were working on it too.

I haven't seen anything on here about those though, so I wondered: Is there any need for me? Aka, should I resume development?

Know your resume, from top to bottom.

Every recruiter voicemail.

Hi (name)

Your resume recently came across my desk and I wanted to reach out and let you know about a couple positions I'm working on. I've looked over your resume and you look like you'd be a great fit.

web dev agency makes a job ad that fits exactly my skill set.
*send an email in a good form with resume and everything*
No acceptance, no decline, no "we'll look at it", just nothing...
just fucking die already -_ -

Is “highly skilled at resolving conflicts” something I can put on my resume?

Anyone here works with facebook? I applied for a position, they're reviewing my resume now.😂😂😂😂

So this guy I know mentions a 7/10 proficiency in web development on his resume and doesn't know about the web console in browsers.

When you post an opening for a junior developer, and the only resume you get is a "Senior Developer with Team Lead Experience" you interview them anyway...

When that interview reveals their resume is fiction, and they're very junior.

Incident 0:
1. Saw an interesting job opening
2. Sent the resume
3. Received an email mentioning not qualified.

Incident 1:
1. Saw an interesting job opening
2. Sent the resume
3. Hr scheduled an interview
4. Interview went good
5. Havent heard any thing ftom hr yet, neither positive nor negative.

I hope I dont need to mention the countries in both cases.

How effective is to have my own webpage where I can show my portfolio for the company recruiters?

Do they really take the time to see the page?

If positive, what host do you recommend?

I'm not in the web dev environment btw, so it's not that obvious.

When you look at your Resume and realise, how much sh't you've been through for the sake of money. 😀👻💩👼

#Ransomware :US engineers trying to find antivirus, Europe engineers finding preventing tools, meanwhile Indian engineers already updated their resume with " Worked/Implemented anitvirus for ransomware"
Meanwhile. . Indian HR consultants asking for minimum 5 years experience in handling "ransomware"

So this happened a few days ago.

Me: (chilling like a mo'fucka then suddenly an email alert)

*Opens email and realises it's from a recruiter*

Recruiter: We are a venture-based startup out of LA, funded by a top VC. We have developed the first turnkey Serverless Swift platform for app development.

We are looking at expanding our team and we have a few different openings for remote and contract work.

Simply reply to this email with your resume attached.

Me: Thanks for reaching out and presenting me with this opportunity.

I plan on going back to school this January and for that reason I humbly have to bow out.

I will surely keep an eye out for {company_name}. The idea is rather interesting I should say.

*I go back to chilling like a mo'fucka*

*The next day I'm at work, I get an email from the same recruiter again*

Recruiter: Thank you for submitting your resume.

We are expanding our team and are looking for Swift rockstars to join the movement of bringing server-side Swift to the masses.

We were impressed by your resume and wanted to get to know you better. This survey is the first step in that process.

Please take a moment and complete. It should not take longer than 10 minutes.

Me: ...........................
*Calmly walks away from my desk to the bathroom*

WHAT FUCKING RESUME HAVE I SUBMITTED TO YOU? BITCH, MY EMAIL EXPLICITLY SAID: THANKS BUT NO THANKS...

You can't just force an applicant

Passed out college this year...
Got a job too (lucky 😀)
Now all juniors are asking me how to prepare for placements... N keeps asking my resume..
And m saying everyone same stuff.. DS and algo is must.. n chk my LinkedIn for resume..
Soon, seems like m gonna tell them join devRant first and then I will say further..
Note: Placement starts in few weeks and they care now on how to prepare for it.. Folks say it's better to start late than never.. but still.. I wud love to help them but asking same questions repeatedly not gonna help them..

Getting cooped at home to a avoid COVID is annoying because it got me remembering my ex. I hate myself for shutting down a few days thinking of him. If only there is an "Empty trash" button for emotions. Finally I get better today. I resume studying for work and target to pass the certification. Strive to be better!

Went up to a booth of some small company with nobody in line and they rejected me flat out because I hadn't had a previous internship. they laid out their requirements (which were higher than Microsoft's I might add) and then said they still wanted to keep my resume. i told them that their requests were ridiculous, then grabbed my resume out of their hands and told them I'd give it to somebody worth my time

Today I made some lights turn on and off with Gpio on my Rpi and some php, really happy and I'm going to work on it cause the landing site is really ugly. Would it be appropriate to add "mechanical engineer" and additional to web developer to my resume now? 😂😂

*sees a new tech/framework/language*

*dives straights to download just checking for windows/mac/linux*

*downloaded product doesn't start/gives error/complains because some prerequisites are not met*

*after some frustration it starts to work*

*To not offend the Gods, writes "Hello World"*

*Carry a "Hackerman" face all day*

*Updates resume*

Dear recruiters
Please have the courtesy to reply whether my resume is shortlisted or not, I don't want your personally crafted rejection mails, an automatic rejection mail will save a lot of job hunters a lot of time. we have other things to focus on than waiting for your mails.

@dfox - Idea for weekly rant - worst candidate that showed up to a job interview.

Had a solid resume, claimed to be a Java king, top notch. First question after he sat down: How to create a thread-safe singleton in Java using double-checked locking?

Guy didn't know the answer. - NEXT!

I do operations on null objects to attempt to explain why my world is always crashing.

Then I resume coding. And crying.

These fucking movie sites. Why are they loaded with popups?

Every fucking time I try watching a movie online I get like 917349 popups. Search something, popup. Click open, popup. Click play, popup. Click maximize, popup. Click pause, popup. Click resume, popup.

Those guys are more desperate than a village of malnourished somalis chasing a 350lbs american journalist.

I have 2 rules as I apply to every internship, don't rewrite my entire resume or linkedin. And I'm not jumping through 20 hoops to get ghosted

Make a folder about your idea, generate a visual studio solution about it, and bam, you got something to write in your resume.

[LinkedIn, Recruiter InMail]

Hello,

I am Lazy As Fuck, and I'm looking for people to work for a company that pays me for doing nothing.

Do you know anyone that is an Angular developer? If you do, please tell them to send me their resume and phone number.

Thanks.

I hate hate hate writing résumés for dev positions. Each posting requires that you guess wildly about their stack therefore write a totally new résumé. You don't get a job because you omitted the keyword "Newtonsoft" when mentioning your Dotnet Core experience. Hiring departments have one job and they universally suck at it for tech.

I knew AngularJS, just learnt Angular. Realized what typescript is and how amazing it is. I am a .Net guy so creating lambda functions in typescript made me excited lol. It's a little frustrating to write "imports" in every TS file though. Can now add ✔️Angular and ✔️typescript to my resume 😉. Starting with Vue.JS as soon as I am done playing with Angular.

Self taught JavaScript developer here

Is there any exams or online courses or certification I can take to make my resume more fancier ~

Why does it take 3 interview stages to get a 3-month internship...
That's ignoring the personalised CV, resume and cover letter for each one as well.

Can't imagine the fun of getting an actual job!!

Does having a good rank on Stack Overflow reflects positiveness on your Resume? Share your experience(s).

There was that „very heavy knowledge“ (that was his self proclamation) visual basic coder (vb6 that was) who always started with „on error resume next“... it was the only glue to let his programm „work“...

Any ideas about a python based project that shows looks good on resume?? 😬😬

i built a script to auto-update my cv and republish every time i visit a website that mentions a technology not currently on my resume.

Recently I have started working with a company with a codebase older than I am. Hundreds of different projects with GoTos everywhere, and all error handling rendered useless by the continuous use of On Error Resume Next.
I feel like a mixture of Indiana Jones amd Gordon Ramsay...

Maintain an up to date resume and work portfolio. Contribute to open source projects. Network with other professionals. Pursue professional development.

Resume question:

I have knowledge of the tools and languages used where I'm applying. But my experience is in a completely different area (still CS though).

Any thoughts how I can let the employer know that I am skilled? Even if my experience doesn't show it.

when i said "can i resume my work at home?" it means "can i go home now and let me sleep? i have worked since morning until now (almost morning again) and you my dear PM stop watching youtube and start to feel my pain".

Angular 2 is released! Thanks for making my resume irrelevant now. Going to pick up react.

I apply to a company. Their system loses my resume, so they contact me to submit it again saying they like what they see in my application (had to write code for them and include info that's also on my resume). I send my resume. Less than 8 hours later the fuckers email me to say I'm no longer being considered.

Evaluating developer resumes: 3 pages of resume but no github link. #showmethecode

One day you're looking for a job for almost half a year, and the next you're being called by a company because they stumbled upon your resume (indirect path) ?dafuq? Wel today was that day, i hope I pass the intake though, wish me luck

What do you put in your resume if you get an offer from google?

So at what point are you good enough at something that you add it to your resume?

After the tornado that is @notroot has blown over, I think it is safe to resume normal ranting behaviour.

Thanks 👍

Guys, I have an interview Friday to a company I don't necessarily want to work for but I need the job because I just finished a coding boot camp not too long ago. What are some templates for Fintech, business macho companies that I can work on? Also, my resume sucks ass. Any advice is appreciated.

Side project I wish I could finish... updating my resume and building a portfolio so I can get a new job.

Being a student is rough. You start an academic year applying mindlessly to companies for internships, preparing for interviews and hear back from a handful of companies. Then when you actually intern you still have to work on improving resume with projects and still do DSA because you don’t go to a top notch school.

Ya’ll my resume finally made it through sales force ATS. 🥳

I got a test today on HackerRank in like 7 hours.

Profile: Security Events Analyst (SoC)

Please advise important topics that I should definitely polish.

It’s an entry level position :)

No racist but most of the self-claimed expert freelance programmers from India really pissed me off! Their resume has one common pattern, many of them are expert in more than 5 languages.

I think it's still ok if I erase other skills in my resume and left only with JavaScript. Holy crap JavaScript today unlike back in the days people think you're able to prompt user a client side, it's now another kind of alien. Es6 and stuff like react and react native. Master javaScript make me worth lot more than before. Not a rant :)

As someone who often interviews devs, I can say you should be honest about your abilities. Just because you tweaked someone's Python code doesn't mean you are a Python expert. Stick to the facts on your resume/cv. Also, have a good code portfolio. That shows the interviewer much more than a degree does.

on your resume, did you put how good/experienced you are at each skill?

I left my previous job being disgruntled over insane hours and being underpayed.

Took a 3 month break, whilst shotgun blasting my CV and Resume at places. A few stuck. I chose the one that had the best passion to pay ratio.

Fucking job recruiters or whoever the fuck.

If the first line on my resume is under "Objective" and it states, "To obtain a job, internship, or Co-op in the field of Networking, Cybersecurity, or Administration." You can clearly see the world sales and customer service are not in there.
If you take 5 seconds to read that or search for the words customer service or sales YOU WON'T FUCKING FIND ANYTHING​.
SO WHY THE FLYING FUCK DO YOU CUMBUCKET FILLED PIECES OF SHIT KEEP OFFERING SALES AND CUSTOMER JOBS TO ME.
I even got a senior sales position before. :|
Yet I can't even get a call back from an internship that's related to what I want to do lol. Smh.

I sent my resume to our subsidiary company that evidently pays more and are looking for someone with exactly my skills. They weren't supposed to tell my boss about it but they did and he gave me substantial rise. Not really promotion, but I don't want to be manager (yet).

I use Linkedin but I wonder why people still asks me my resume. It sure feels not DRY to have 2 places to keep your career history. 🙄

#developerfeels

Do you think dropping off in person your resume to companies have slight edge or not? If you did drop off your resume how did you do it?

Specially in big companies like amazon or other big companies?

I updated my resume.
My new career objective is to score enough ++ so that I can afford a tiger pet on my devrant avatar!!

Does nobody want a dev intern in Lod Angeles? Been calling companies all day telling them I'll work for free lol. at lady they're taking my resume

Uhmm. How do you guys write your resume? I mean, there seems to be a lot of ways and taboos on writing one, some say it shouldn't be more than 2 pages. But in some domain, the longer the better. As a software developer how should it look? Some are project-oriented others opt for work-company-experience-oriented.

I edited my project's github page and changed the background and buttons....
I guess it's time to add css and html mastery to my resume 😉

Adding "highly skilled in code divination and paying off bankrupcy-level technical debt" to my resume.

Thanks PHPepsi, you trained me good for this...

I code. I'm not a network or security admin. Did you even read my resume before hiring me? It says "math degree then data analysis then programming degree" Subnets, firewalls and security certs are not my areas of expertise. Given enough time, could I stumble through? Probably. But I'd probably come up with something worthy of mocking on networkadminrant.

Our college interns:

*Push completed project source to remote repo at end of dev course.*

*List Git as skill in resume.*

Recruiter rant.
Me as a fresher.
Submit your resume?
I thought you went through it before you called me down.
Yes, but I will need a copy.
Don't you have it in your inbox.
(And I was rejected.)

If my 'official' job title was programmer but I was also doing network troubleshooting and administration as well as server configuration cause we had no one experienced to do it should I include that on my resume or would it look fake?

Should I only include the programming stuff since that was my job title

on every company i worked for, i always had this "senior" team mate that seems really knowledgeable with the way he talks and just by looking at his resume but doesn't reflect on his work. smh

Quick question to all the other devs. I am learning libgdx(the multiplatform thing) to make an Android app. Would that count as Android experience for future jobs? Or game development? What skills am I building for a resume?

Sorry to break your heart but if u have 3yrs of expert here is no way you are a senior software engineer, no matter how good you are

Just in : Saw an HTML designer writing professional "coder" in his resumé. Can HTML(and CSS) designers be considered coders?

On Error Resume Next

best font for cv/resume? any suggestions or advice?

It's getting to the point where I can put on my resume "make Word formating more gooder". It's amazing how dumb this is making me feel for how often I have to do it.

Always remember to update your resume -before- you need it.

Too lazy to resume coding. Professionally slack off by tidying up codes. Using Beautify.

I'm looking for collaborators for a site I'm making in laravel for my dad's apple/produce orchard business. I've pretty much have finished front end design but could use help in the back end development. I can't really pay anyone right now because I'm broke but it's more resume material and you would be helping a brother out so anyone interested let me know:)

Err. Any web developers or recruitment people able to please give me feedback on my resume?

I'd greatly appreciate the help 😭