Got an email this morning... And arrived home to find him in my mail box!

Best way to end the week 😇

Twitter: "Your account has been locked because it is displaying automated behaviour which violates blah blah blah..."
I literally have 7 Twitter accounts and you have picked the only one which ISN'T automated FFS

Got RAM 🐑?

Who here has a phone with fingerprint sensor but doesn't use it because you think someone might use your phone while you are asleep.

I'll probs reach 95K today. I want to do something 'special' when I reach the 100K.

Any ideas?

Also dfox/trogus, special 100K item maybe? ;P

I'm a WD newbie and I really like when I see myself doing things like this.

buzzword translations:

"cloud" -> someones computer

"big data" -> lots of somewhat irrelevant data

"ai" -> if if if if if if if if if if if if if else

"algorithm" -> something that works but you don't know why

"secure" -> https://

"cyber security" -> kali linux + black hoodie

"innovation" -> adding something completely irrelevant such as making a poop emoji talk

"blockchain" -> we make lots of backups

"privacy" -> we store your data, we just don't tell you about it

Some many nice and new programming languages out there and even some older ones still get updated but at my university we are supposed to use the ANCIENT AND ANNOYING ANSI C (C89)??! Why...

Git branch structure art

"There is a problem with A, could you check it out? It's urgent for the client"
Me: Okay, just open a ticket for it too.
*Working on A"

After about ten minutes:
"Hey, there is a small problem B and it's also urgent for the client, we need you to check it out"
Me: I'm working on A and you are yet to open a tick... (Interrupted)
"But it's urgent and it's a small fix, we can fix it and push it to prod, A can wait for a bit"
(Since when is it a "we"?)
Me: *sigh* fine, lets see what's B is all about...

*After going over problems C to Z*

"Why isn't A ready yet? The client's mad and it was to be ready as of today"
Me: Because you had problems from B to Z and they were all urgent according to you so after each request you asked of me I had to postpone A with you knowing about it.
"But A is for today!"

FUCK YOU, YOU WORTHLESS WASTE OF JIZZ! YOU RAN TO ME FOR EVERY GOD DAMN URGENT PROBLEM YOU HAD FROM OUR SHIT OF A CLIENT AND INSTEAD OF TELLING ME THE PRIORITY YOU JUST THROWN IT ALL IN A RANDOM ORDER!
FUCK YOU! I WISH YOUR FATHER WOULD'VE SHOT YOU OUT THE WINDOW INSTEAD OF INSIDE YOUR MOTHERS CUNT!

When your boss asks you to add 200 products to the system.......

MANUALLY.

Me: sits in front of pc with terminal open in fullscreen

Mom: comes in and looks at screen, says:
'you are only playing games all day, do something useful! '

You're a developer?

Fix the TV. Fix the wifi connection. Fix the remote control.

I made it guys @ https://github.com/neetjn

Finally hit my 1,000 milestone

I got a client asking for a free website for their company because it’s Black Friday...

Looking to pick this book up, has anybody else read it? How is it?

Just spent like 2 hours theming my Ubuntu 17.10 development VM, but lets be honest, the suru icon back with a unity8 gnome theme does look really fucking good!

Bloatware

guess who decided to update