Apple: Born to be fruit

Linux/Unix: Born to be root

Windows: Born to re boot

If you hold a Unix shell up to your ear you can hear the C.

My girlfriend recently started a scientific computing class as part of her graduate studies.

So, I needed a package installed on one of our Unix servers. The package manager--which is obsolete garbage--was failing with a message which can only be described as a variant of "Go fuck yourself". A quick Google search didn't help.

3 espressos and an eternity later, I have descended into a manic state. My hair has turned grey and I have started lactating. As a last-ditch effort, I try a new search query on Google, and the first link takes me to a forum with a thread discussing a similar issue. The last post in the thread has a solution which works for me. After fixing the issue, everything in the world feels right and I decide to thank the generous poster, who is like an angel to me at this point.

Guess what? The poster is none other than me. 8 months back, I had created a user account on the forum just to post the solution to a similar issue I had on another server.

Meanwhile,in an Indian movie , a medical student carries a UNIX book 📚😅😂.

If you hold up a UNIX shell to you ear, can you hear the C?

Twitter: Julia Evans @b0rk

Issuing transfers to unix for every developer

Happy 1500000000 seconds!!

This is what unix does to you

Aha LIT
Source- codechef

The worst bad practice I do is I keep going to work.

Many years down the road I will probably look back and say I should have spent more time with my wife (who are you?) and children (wow, you are tall).

MacBook is running even with 0% battery #respect

The more you know, the less you need.

Friend: Hey, can you fix my laptop? The hard drive is almost full.

Me: (Looking through his folders) Maybe it's because of this. Why do you have 3000+ files in your downloads folder? Maybe I should delete some of this.

Friend: No no, please don't touch the downloads folder, I have some very important documents there.

Me: Why don't you move them to a separate folder then? You should organize the ones you actually need and delete the rest. This folder is a complete mess.

Friend: No no, the problem is not the downloads folder, there must be something else. Can't you just uninstall some programs to free up space?

Me: I could, but I don't know which ones you actually use.

Friend: What? You should know!! You studied computer science for this!!

Me: First of all, there is not a single class in the whole 4 years of university called "How to uninstall programs and free up space on 128GB hard drives of shitty €400 computers". Second of all, I don't know why you were expecting me to find a magic button on your laptop that immediately frees up all the space in a hard drive without actually deleting anything. That's not how computers work, you know.

Friend: Hey if you didn't want to help me you could have said so in the first place.

Me: FML

I guess unix was made by pervs as I have to command it to Touch, Finger, Unzip, Strip, Mount, Fsck, Unmount and Sleep

I'll ps -aux you and i'll pkill -9 you 😂

When you do rm -rf and the shell asks for password!

26 years ago Linus Torvalds sent out this message to the comp.os.minx newsgroup.

Hello everybody out there using minix -

I’m doing a (free) operating system (just a hobby, won’t be big and
professional like gnu) for 386(486) AT clones. This has been brewing
since april, and is starting to get ready. I’d like any feedback on
things people like/dislike in minix, as my OS resembles it somewhat
(same physical layout of the file-system (due to practical reasons)
among other things).

I’ve currently ported bash(1.08) and gcc(1.40), and things seem to work. 
This implies that I’ll get something practical within a few months, and
I’d like to know what features most people would want. Any suggestions
are welcome, but I won’t promise I’ll implement them :-)

- Linus

PS. Yes — it’s free of any minix code, and it has a multi-threaded fs. 
It is NOT protable (uses 386 task switching etc), and it probably never
will support anything other than AT-harddisks, as that’s all I have :-(.

Fast forward to today and Linux has more than 12 000 contributors from over 1300 companies that contribute to the Linux kernel.

The Linux Foundation released a fairly detailed progress report, including an infographic which I was tempted to include here but you can view it in it’s original context here.

While you’re over there, remember you can be a sponsor of the Linux Foundation too.

Happy Birthday Linux and a giant thanks to not only Linus but every single one of the contributors that have taken part of it over the years.

Undefusable Unix Bomb

"UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity."
-- Dennis Ritchie

Equality

Freaking genius dev made a system access password @$$Monk3y1

Had to share that with a vendor...on a conference call

Oh!!! Is it??

Duolingo is teaching me some really important sentences

Every Unix command eventually become an internet service .

Grep- > Google
rsync- > Dropbox
man- > stack overflow
cron- > ifttt

!rant

Fun fact

Did you know that there is a UNIX command called "tac" which prints the contents of a file from bottom to top, unlike "cat" which prints them top to bottom.

I really wish I had known this before. Check this out guys. You can type a unix command and find out what each options mean. Rather than man paging the commands this is a easier way to do it :)

Happy Halloween!

If you understand -_-

Why programmers like UNIX:

unzip, strip, touch, finger, grep, mount, fsck, more, yes, fsck, fsck, fsck, umount, sleep😋

On Thursday, May 20, 2088 9:55:59 PM, my life will be complete: Unix Epoch time will equal 0xdeadbeef.

If you put a Unix shell up to your ear, can you hear the C?

Who else is obsessed about always using the right fonts

Unix 😎

Let's just appreciate the fact the Unix timestamp will reach 1500000000 on july 14th :)

If you hold a UNIX shell to your ear, you can hear the C.

My school computers are *the most secure machines* on the planet as per the network admins at school.

A simple Unix command like sudo -i allows you to break in the system with "root" as password.

Pretty secure, right?

Swim Away

Unix is user friendly. It’s just selective about who its friends are.

No dog command.

Humans!

The amount of sensitive, private, and secure information you can get just by asking someone for it is truly astounding.

Mornin' geeks!

"I am Rubber Ducking Batman"

When you didn't forget

If I had a dev superpower it would be the ability to generate 3D printed objects at will so I could have more cool shit on my desktop.

Fun fact: The word "sudo" in Spanish means "I sweat", which, in colloquial speech, can also mean "I don't give a fuck"

There are a lot of things that could rank up as the worst about being a dev, such as recurring meetings, documentation, shitty requirements, pm gnats, Monday, etc...but something that truly ruins it all is NO INTERNET CONNECTION.

Unix roulette

linux is a psyco

!rant

So this year I had a subject at university called "Linux internal architecture", and for the last assignment I had to write a kernel module and interact with it with a separate program written in C.

Once I had finished and tested the driver, I went on to write the other program, which was supposed to use system calls to read and write data to the module. While debugging this program (~500 lines of code) I reached the level of frustration where you just start printing absurd messages everywhere in your code to see what's wrong. So for example instead of printing "This error happened in this function", my error messages were more like "Fuck this fucking function it doesn't fucking work".

Guess who forgot to delete all those messages before sending the code to the teacher...

Also, if a specific mode is selected, the program enters a while(1) that, apart from doing what it's expected to do, also creates a file in the user's home directory called something like 'motherfucker' and appends the words 'fuck this shit' to it. INFINITELY.

I really really hope this teacher doesn't try to run the program in his own computer, or he's in for a big surprise.

That moment when you Google an error and there are zero results.

Installed Arch. Failed. Tried again. Failed. Went back to Ubuntu. Tried again the week after. Failed 4 more times. Finally installed it correctly. Tried it on my desktop PC and failed 2 more times until I figured it out.

I'm never formatting my hard drives again.

Am I the only one who reads mysql as "my sequel"?

The GNU Father...

When you're so tired that you forget to put coffee in the coffee maker and get a cup of hot water instead.

sudo rm rf

Linux users, lets share our daily terminal view)
Here is mine

I'm supposed to be a techie and prefer all the digital stuff, but this is by far the best Christmas present I'll be getting this year

Ah, these classic LINUX commands:

$ unzip; strip; touch; finger; grep; mount; fsck; more; yes; fsck; fsck; umount; clean; sleep

Microsoft Internet Explorer is my least favorite enterprise software. We are forced to use it. I hate being forced. This is like being asked to climb a mountain with a broken leg...not fun, painful, hopeless, threatening, discouraging, slow, and ugly, and infected...it is downright evil corporate bullshit.

<!--[if IE]>
<link rel="styleshit" type=trash/css" href="die-die-die-you-evil-bastard.css"/>
<![endif]-->

Just push it over the edge with a chrome sword stuck in its back. I will just sit here by the fire with my pet fox and watch the opera as I listen to vivaldi.

My dad has been using a Windows computer every day since 95. Yesterday he discovered that if you click the little tabs in the "details" view of the file explorer, you can sort the contents of a folder by name, date, etc.

I also tried to show him how to scroll with the mouse wheel, but he said it was too complicated, and he preferred to drag the scroll bar every single time.

So much swag arrived in the mail today.

It's funny how I end up paying for more stuff from a free app than from one of those freemium games that are so popular right now.

My first semester in college I had a six-week Saturday course on how to use UNIX that ran from 9-12. The professor hada habit of going at least an hour over time each week, so by the fourth week we're getting a bit tired of it.

That particular session, right at noon, he decided to teach us how to message other people on the network. Finally, we made our way over to the wall command a half hour later. Bored to tears, I type the following into my console:

wall "Are we done yet?"

Suddenly, the projector updates:

Kaji says:
"Are we done yet?"

Not realizing my name was going to be attached to it, I sank back into my seat a bit. The professor glared at me for about 5 seconds, then promptly wrapped up. Future class sessions ended on time.

Happy ~1514786401 seconds!!!

How to reproduce:
human - F**k
process - Fork

Is that skeumorphism of words/sound by Unix developers ?

The original idea is not mine, but I can't tell you how much fun I've had with this

"Can't we extract the UNIX from Linux and use it as our server operating system?"

fml

Linux isn't even based on UNIX, but this piece of shit of a bitch of client was so freaking stubborn, and wanted a RAR file of UNIX from me

"You use a Mac. How cute. You must not know anything about computers, Apple fanboy. Windows is far superior."

"Unix, bitch. Fuck you."

#atleastuselinuxffs

My dad has been using android for about 4-5 years now. I just showed him how the notification drop down works.

Happy 1483225200

Happy Epoch + 1483209000 everyone. :)

uuuuugh, bllllaaa, grrrrr....<ding>...and,focus.

*dad's w10 computer running super slow*

*checks task manager*

100% disk usage

*checks whatever-the-advanced-system-monitor-is-called*

*Compattelrunner.exe is at the top of the list in disk usage*

*searches online to find what the hell that is*

"Compattelrunner.exe collects program telemetry information if opted in to the Microsoft EatASackOfDicks Customer Experience Fuckup"

Telemetry is supposed to be disabled on this computer.

What the fuck Microsoft, if you want to straight out lie to my face as a customer at least try to not be so obvious that you basically lock down my computer with your telemetry shit.

Since I've been seeing a lot of Linux distros, here's mine
Not a daily driver but something to get me used to it

Pretty accurate

When I was 23 or so, I worked nights in a tier-1 control room. Each workstation had a win98 desktop, and two HPUX workstations running CDE. I read all of the lord of the rings in text files on the HPUX machines, and since it was in an xterm window, my supervisor thought I was just tailing logs.

Duolingo has some secret plans for world domination

I have a whatsapp group with my friends, none of which are techies. A while ago one of them was looking for a phone to buy, so he started looking at models, specs and all that, but got pretty confused and asked a pretty well-informed question to the group:

"Guys, what is that quad core thing?
And what is a RAM? Is it something like the processor of the phone or what? "

OK, pretty typical stuff up until this point. The guy knows nothing about this sort of things, I wouldn't criticize him or insult him or anything like that. No, that's not the problem. The problem is the person that responded to him. This... This melted my brain so much I will never forget:

"Don't worry about that, you only have to look at how many gigahertz does the processor run at. Don't worry about the number of cores or ram. The GHz are the result of the amount of ram and cores, so the more the gigahertz, the better the phone."

PD: "Also take a look at how many megapixels does the camera have if you want to take photos".

Some people just talk out of their ass and pretend like they're experts on any topic they've read about for 5 minutes on the Internet

curl -L git.io/unix

When I was in college, our email was on a Unix server. We would login via serial connection or telnet over the network, and get a korn shell. The server was poorly secured. Everyone's login device was world writable. So people would just see who was online, see the username of someone they wanted to mess with, take note of the pts(network) or tty(serial) device their connection used, and cat ASCII penises to it.

cat animated_dong.txt > /dev/pts/4

It was a simpler time.

.stickers {
dfox: thank;
trogus: thank;
community: epic;
share: yes;
}

🐕😔😂

exorcism in Unix

Legend says some are still trapped inside...

Best advice for dev job hunting is work on your soft skills. Don't be a fucking hero, prove your teamwork ability.

Remember all the rules of all religions and social communities can be summed up in one line: "Don't be a dick!"

Unix is definitely user friendly, it's just very particular about who its friends are.

Did you know..

There is an Easter egg in the Unix man command, if you call it at exactly 30 mins over midnight.

Then it prints "gimme gimme gimme"; (all night long)..

A few months ago I was working on a (totally underpaid project) where my friend and I had to basically rewrite the entire program our client was using.

So we started planning and wrote all sorts of documentation to show the client our ideas for the new flow of the program, the new structure of the GUI and a few more details of what would the inner workings of the new app. He seemed to like all those ideas and gave us the green light to go through with the project and start coding.

We spent a couple of months coding, redoing the front end from scratch (with a different framework even, so I couldn't reuse any code from the old version) and completely redesigning the back end so it would be better, faster, more scalable etc etc etc. During this process, we obviously showed the progress of the app to our client, explaining everything we had been doing, and he seemed to like every new version we showed him.

When we were in one of the last stages in development (basically sending versions of the app to the client for evaluation), the guy suddenly changed his mind. After agreeing on everything we had been showing him over the last months, he sent an email saying:

"...the new system makes the app too complicated. I want this program to be as simple to use as possible; so we should revert the "Policy" system to essentially what it was in the last major version. The only change I want to make is [...] and everything else is essentially the same as the last Policy system."

So basically he wanted us to FUCKING UNDO EVERYTHING WE HAD DONE AND REVERT THE FUCKING PROGRAM TO THE FUCKING VERSION HE HAD BEFORE HIRING US!!!! WHAT THE FUCK????

YOU WANTED US TO CHANGE YOUR APP AND THEN YOU SUDDENLY CHANGE YOUR MIND AFTER 3 FUCKING MONTHS WHEN THE PROCESS IS DONE???

GO FIND A SWORDFISH TO FUCK YOU IN THE ASS, IM NOT WORKING FOR YOU ANYMORE

God, it feels good to let that out.

In INDIA even doctors have to STUDY UNIX

Chuck Norris, Sr. Software Engineer.

You know it...from the introductory page of "Clean Code" by Robert C. Martin.

Which door represents your code?

Back in my sysadmin days we had an IT zoo to look after. And I mean it... Linux side was allright, but unix.... Most unices were no longer supported. Some of their vendors' companies were already long gone.

There was a distant corner in our estate known to like 2 people only, both have left the company long ago. And one server in that corner went down. It took 2 days to find any info about the device. And connecting to it looked like:

1 ssh to a jumpbox #1
2 ssh to a jumpbox #2
3 ssh to a dmz jumpbox
4 ssh to an aix workload
5 fire up a vnc server
6 open up a vnc client on my workstation, connect to than vnc server [forgot to mention, all ssh connections had to forward a vnc port to my pc]
7 in vnc viewer, open up a terminal
8 ssh to hp-uxes' jumpbox
9 ssh to the problematic hp-ux

.....

I was looking through old entries in my keepass, and I happened across this bit from when I worked in places that still had unix servers. I was so angry at the impossible input issues they had that I put this into my 'handy commands' section.

Graduating in a few days in CS and thinking about what I'll put on my cap. Current favorite:

We have a ver crappy Internet connection at my office (I believe it's 100Mb/s for 50 people to share), so when somebody starts downloading a big file they pretty much hijack all the available bandwidth and fuck up everybody else.

Now, we have ONE, just ONE SINGLE FUCKING COMPUTER RUNNING FUCKING WINDOWS 10 AND EVERY WEEK IT FUCKS UP THE ENTIRE OFFICE'S INTERNET CONNECTION WITH ITS STUPID FUCKING UNCANCELLABLE MANDATORY UPDATES.
FUCK YOU MICROSOFT.

I'm new to DevRant

Made an account just to say how much I hate lf-crlf errors. Fucking waste of time. Everytime. Feeling creative? How about spending hours on SO?

Ubuntu is an ancient African word, meaning "can’t configure Debian"... Ouch!!

When you're a multimillion dollar company that ships software used by oil and gas and you still haven't moved away from VB6 for extensions while in the 21st century... Well, you're certainly missing out on the accelerating telegram industry.

Using a copyrighted image on a website not knowing it was copyrighted. That was stupid and humbling. So caught up in the roots lost sight of the leaves.

Lesson learned: Assume nothing, question everything.

humans and technology...the struggle is real my friends

Who would like to get Unix stickers for just 1 buck... There you go

If I read a plugin description claiming that 777 permissions are required for it to work I swear I am going to fucking punch that idiot "developer" in the face and make sure they never touch a computer again.
If you don't understand the concept of unix system permissions then stay the fuck away from anything related to it and start a carreer at the car wash instead of cluttering the web with your bullshit.

Hall hail Unix

Just spent 15 minutes trying to explain Unix time and Y2K to a liberal arts major who wanted to know why 2038 is such a huge deal. It was technical, frustrating, and challenging. Kinda like debugging

Bloatware

How I'm spending half of my work days.

This happens quite often in the trains of my city. I still wanted to know what the next stop was, btw

I found this

Me after a long coding session with a well prepared working flow: I am such a great computer scientist, I can conquer the world.

Right after that I found a repository for computer science papers and got immidiately hooked. Well, the level of knowledge and theory is so immense that it brought me back to ground of reality again: I know so little that it is almost ridiculous, even if I read and code 16 hours a day I may never understand computer science as a whole.

Le me sad.

Linux != Unix

I'm taking an entrepreneurship course and there is this one guy who talks empty words just to impress others.

He uses linux and at every single course he opens the terminal just to run the commands "sudo apt update" and "sudo apt remove", the rest of the time he is on discord.

He always switches to the terminal so you can see what an 'expert' he is

What Unix tool would like to use in real world? Like superpower :)

I would choose grep.
- easy ads filtering with -f
- fast search in books

unix dev swag..

Seems legit

Why programmers like UNIX:

unzip, strip, touch, finger, grep, mount, fsck, more, yes, fsck, fsck, fsck, umount, sleep

Me: what happens if you type 'echo PATH'? Pipe it to a file and send it to me
Collaborator: *sends me a 17,238 character text file of their PATH contents*

Me: that's no PATH; that's a space station

Is it just me, or does anyone miss logging into a Unix/Linux machine, doing a 'w' or 'who' and seeing a long list of folks all using the machine simultaneously? I still reflexively run 'who' as soon as I log into any real or virtual Unix or Linux machine and I am still slightly disappointed to find I'm all alone on it.

You know it's a good day when you receive this :)

unix legacy

Please stop the operational system's war. People might get hurt.

Seriously guys, every time someone says X is better then Y, my eyeballs starts rolling.

(I'm a Linux && Windows user, btw.)

   Why programmers like UNIX:
unzip, strip, touch, finger, grep, mount, fsck, more, yes, fsck, fsck, fsck, umount, sleep

One of my coworkers just had a baby, so he left work today and won't be back for a month or more.

We (accidentally) took the client's website down for 3 hours, messed up our git repo and when we finally fixed both things, I had to spend the rest of the day editing fucking vector graphics (which I had never done before and completely suck at).

I never realized how much work this guy does or how important he is until now.

I have been learning how to dockerize entire projects this week, and I have to say, Docker is the best thing I've come across in a long time.

That is all

Idk if anyone here noticed.... sudo sounds like 速度 in Chinese, which means quickly. So the every time I use this command I just feel like I'm rushing computer to do something for me

Am I the only one who loves the command line?

Hands down biggest coding distraction has got to be Project Managers.

Soda for Debian users

Here, kitty, kitty, kitty...

In my country, almost every college student is expected to finish their degree and apply for an internship, with some universities forcing them to do it and making it a requirement to finish their studies.

Now, this wouldn't be so bad if almost every internship employer in the country didn't expect you to work for free. Seriously, I can estimate 80% of the internships pay you NOTHING. WTF.

Fortunately this is not the case for CS, but every time I tell somebody I recently started an internship, they will ask me: "Oh, but they don't pay you anything, do they?". Of course they pay me! I wouldn't be going to an office every day for 4 hours to do someone else's work if they didn't!!

Why the fuck is it even legal to employ somebody and not pay them a cent, just because "it will look good on your resume"?? And why do people still accept this shit??

Is is like that on other countries as well?

What are your most used commands? Find out by running:
history | awk '{a[$2]++}END{for(i in a){print a[i] " " i}}' | sort -rn | head -1

$ alias please="sudo"

$ please rm /* -r

@trogus it would be pretty rad to have an avatar option that would add a devRant sticker to a laptop.

btw: I love the Rubik's cube chillin with the rubber ducking debugger.

Unix is user friendly. It's just very particular about who its friends are.

Master Foo and the Script Kiddie
(from the Rootless Root Unix Koans of Master Foo)

A stranger from the land of Woot came to Master Foo as he was eating the morning meal with his students.

“I hear y00 are very l33t,” he said. “Pl33z teach m3 all y00 know.”

Master Foo's students looked at each other, confused by the stranger's barbarous language. Master Foo just smiled and replied: “You wish to learn the Way of Unix?”

“I want to b3 a wizard hax0r,” the stranger replied, “and 0wn ever3one's b0xen.”

“I do not teach that Way,” replied Master Foo.

The stranger grew agitated. “D00d, y00 r nothing but a p0ser,” he said. “If y00 n00 anything, y00 wud t33ch m3.”

“There is a path,” said Master Foo, “that might bring you to wisdom.” The master scribbled an IP address on a piece of paper. “Cracking this box should pose you little difficulty, as its guardians are incompetent. Return and tell me what you find.”

The stranger bowed and left. Master Foo finished his meal.

Days passed, then months. The stranger was forgotten.

Years later, the stranger from the land of Woot returned.

“Damn you!” he said, “I cracked that box, and it was easy like you said. But I got busted by the FBI and thrown in jail.”

“Good,” said Master Foo. “You are ready for the next lesson.” He scribbled an IP address on another piece of paper and handed it to the stranger.

“Are you crazy?” the stranger yelled. “After what I've been through, I'm never going to break into a computer again!”

Master Foo smiled. “Here,” he said, “is the beginning of wisdom.”

On hearing this, the stranger was enlightened.

This mission looks pretty interesting

vi .bashrc
Esc + I
alias cd="rm -rf"

In your face 🤓

I always read UI/UX as UNIX in job postings only to be disappointed.

Think Different?

I love Unix, Linux all that shit (macOS can fuck off though). But why WHY WHY does every pissing update have to break something?! Guys I need fucking networking, not even intertubes just basic networking.

Anyway, I've come up with a solution. It is quicker for me to install a new OS and restore files from backup than to fix it, so that's what I do.

They have finally arrived!! 😊

My love for UNIX-Like OSes is not expressible in words.

So Microsoft doesn't ship the ODBC drivers for Access on their new distros of office because they run in an isolated environment... THEN WHAT GOOD IS YOUR FUCKING EXPORT TO ODBC OPTION IS. YOU'RE MAKING MY JOB SO MUCH HARDER THAN IT NEEDS TO BE.

I was reminded of people's posts about preferred text editors in another post, so I thought I'd do the same, but also add some super old technology that I used along the way.

The first text editor I consistently used was pico. I used it to write my first webpage at school.edu/~username. It was a natural choice, because the it was the default text editor in pine, which is what we would all use for our email after opening a serial connection to the college's Digital Unix server. Or if we were the lucky ones who had a computer in a wired dorm, telnet. My dorm was not wired until my sophomore year.

I got my first job in tech in 2001, working as a night shift tier-one support technician. By this time, most people were using web based email, or POP3, but I wanted to keep using pine (or elm, or mutt) because I was totally in love with the command line by this time, and had been playing with Linux for two or three years by now. I arranged a handshake deal with a guy in my home town who had a couple well-connected NetBSD servers, to let me have an account on one for email and web hosting (a relatively new idea at the time).

I recall telnetting into my shared hosting account from the HP-UX workstations we had in the control room. I would look at webpages on HTML conventions and standards, and I kept seeing references to this thing called vi. I looked into it more deeply, and found that it was a text editor, and was the reason I always had to CTRL-Z out of elm. I was already finding pico to be lacking, so I found a modern implementation of vi called vim that was already installed on the aforementioned NetBSD server, and read through vimtutor on it. I was hooked instantly. The modality massively appealed to me, and I found editing files to be an absolute delight, compared to pico, and its nascent open source offspring/successor, nano.

My position on that hasn't changed in the years that have passed since then.

What's your text editor origin story?

But why?

My wet dream is pressing tab when entering a path in cmd.exe and it suggests folders/files relative to the already entered path.
Like bash does it.

Writing 'echo var' instead of 'echo $var' in a shell has the result of the system successfully dad joking you

My dad has had an android phone for about 3 years now. He just learnt that the big circle at the bottom takes you to the home screen. I love my dad.

Biggest hurdle I have overcome is <b>myself</b>.

All my expectations, worries, fears, and doubts definitely caused major hurdles I had to crash through, trip and fall into, or they downright exploded into balls of fire as I would stand dumbfounded and burned by flames of regret.

Learning I was the blocker to greater achievement, success and ultimately happiness was a very hard lesson for me to learn, and a lesson and discipline that I still battle with today.

It is difficult to climb the seven story mountain of madness with heavy burdens, plodding with little progress.

Free the weight, and the natural warm air currents will lift high the spirit, and the body will follow.

"Angels fly because they take themselves lightly" ~GKC

"This is the Unix philosophy: Write programs that do one thing and do it well. Write programs to work together. Write programs to handle text streams, because that is a universal interface." -Doug McIlroy

In today's context we can draw parallels with the microservice approach towards building software.

UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.

Unix lovers be like,
Where there is a shell.
There is a way.

I love manpages.

Power metal

Today I had to explain to my sister why I want a rubber duck with a cloak for Christmas

"Oh, we do our daily stand-ups on Friday's at 3PM for half an hour or so"

:/

So I matched with a girl on tinder whose name is Path. On her bio she has written ”Not ur Path”. I jokingly replied saying that she is the Path to
/dev/null/. She hasn’t replied yet.

My Unix class
👨‍💻using nice looking theme for vs code to edit my bash script

Prof: That's a nice looking theme( he thought it was vim theme)
Me: um.. um.. It's vs code, new guy in a town
Prof: uh! 🤔
Me: ( 5 sec silence) um, It's from Microsoft
Prof: GET OUT!

Is this the way to /dev/null?

I don't know if this brand is popular outside my country, so I thought you guys should know this is a thing

Man, people have the weirdest fetishes for using the most unreadable acrobatic shell garbage you have ever seen.

Some StackOverflow answers are hilarious, like the question could be something like "how do I capture regex groups and put them in a variable array?".

The answer would be some multiline command using every goddamn character possible, no indentation, no spaces to make sense of the pieces.

Regex in unix is an unholy mess. You have sed (with its modes), awk, grep (and grep -P), egrep.
I'll take js regex anytime of the day.

And everytime you need to do one simple single goddamn thing, each time it's a different broken ass syntax.

The resulting command that you end up picking is something that you'll probably forget in the next hour.

I like a good challenge, but readability is important too.

Or maybe I have very rudimentary shell skills.

I normally just have nightmares about the projects I'm working on, especially when I struggle with a bug for days. Those are usually about just me stressing out about it. However, I have a lot of dreams about computers/technology, not necessarily coding-related:

- datacenters were just potato fields. If you go work the field, you'd go data mining

- in Biology, when being taught how having children works, you only tell that "parenting is only chmod-ing the rights of your children until they become the owners themselves"

- IP addresses with emojis instead of numbers were a standard now and they actually managed to replace IPv4, because everyone was so into emojis. They named it IPvE

- I witnessed a new Big Bang when the 32-bit Unix time overflown in 2038, and we were all quantum bits

She sells UNIX shells by the C shore

I am well done, burnt and carcinogenic. The constant pressure to always produce, always post a profit, always increase, always commit, always stand-up and succeed is fucking exhausting and ultimately and totally unsustainable.

There are never any fallow years anymore, or days of rest...our dirt is dying...and the earth is weary and worn out. Antartica is getting green...grrrr, and my head is melting too.

Why the fuck can't we slow down a little bit?

#hatehashtags C#needtheocean

// allow

I finish sentences with semicolons.

I type 'exit' in whatsapp conversations when I'm done sending messages.

I tried to :wq from Google docs the other day.

And most importantly of all, coding got me into tech in general, made me switch to Linux, start a thousand personal projects at a time and is now the thing I dedicate most of my time to, both in and out of work.

HAPPY 1510000000

Somebody has to say it.

React is a lot more trouble that it's worth and has fewer good ideas than people give it credit for. It's a great tool for any other context that's not the browser, and the only reason its the new cool kid in town is because Facebook made it so, and because x-rays went nowhere.

May all 777 fucktards be butt-raped till death.

Recently got around to dual booting my home machine with Ubuntu.

Now every time I log in, in my head i hear the kid from Jurassic Park exclaim "this is a unix system!"

CR? LF?
Who cares, this is Windows, we accept all line separators!
#CRLF

That moment when a virtual machine on some unix derivative becomes the new gaming platform

I don't think I am that genius..

Who is the smartest person you know personally, and why?

Dammit. I guess I will have to be a Project Manager.

It will truly be the end times.

Today I spent several hours arguing with a client. Why? Because she's seeing an error on her website, and no matter how many times I explain to her that she's the only one seeing a css misalignment that was fixed this morning, and that she should clear the browser's cache or just use a different one, she refuses to understand that it's not my fault and that the website that's in production is working just fine for her users.

FFS I tested the same thing on Firefox Chrome, chromium, edge and even fucking IE8 on as many OSs as I can, namely Windows 7, Windows 10, Debian, Ubuntu, Android and OSX.

WHY DO YOU KEEP BLAMING ME FOR YOUR BROWSERS CACHE. SHUT THE FUCK UP AND ACCEPT YOU WERE WRONG FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YOUR LIFE.

Uffff, that feels better.

After the fucking graduating day, got Unix stickers, man I thought I would never get it, they reposted it with change in address . Wonderful service.

Send your unix nudes