//TODO: Make this code great again so Donald would be proud

Colleague from a remote office emails me to ask what version of some tooling is installed on a build machine. Generally I wouldn't mind, but for the fact they're literally sat next to said build machine in the remote office. I mean... why get up and look yourself, when you can just IM somebody to look for you... right?

I left uni in 2005 clutching my shiny new .NET based degree, and was instantly hired by a local software firm... to maintain their legacy Turbo Pascal systems.

Just investigating a bug reported by QA. Spoke to the dev responsible for the code, and asked why they'd called a particular function. Their reply:

"Well the function name sounded right. I didn't check what it actually did"

Best part of being a dev?

The perceived ability to fix ANY electronic device owned by friends and family.

"So you work with computers? Any idea what's wrong with my toaster?"

Re-deploying to the Apple App Store after making a "minor" change to your app

When you're editing the css of a legacy website

Chances of getting all the bugs fixed before the demo...

"What do you think Abdul? Can you give me a number crunch real quick?"

That pure rage when you're off work for a few days, and return to find that someone has been in one of your magnificently neat code files, and taken a syntactic shit! Loads of unnecessary whitespace, tabs all over the place, and copy/pasted comments that have nothing to do with the code! 😫

Woah Google... what's with all the hostility?!

When the PO asks for a last second code change right before the sprint review, and now it's your turn to demo