"Wait, we're logging all web traffic now?"
Me: You're the security engineer, you asked him to do it!
"I know but I didn't think he would actually do it!"

🙄😑

Ugh...

My Favorite Senior Dev: Hmm, I don't understand this error.

Neighboring, Competent SQL Developer Coworker: What does it say?

Senior Dev: It says, "Cannot insert the value NULL into column 'person', table 'PEOPLE'; column does not allow nulls..."

*5 minute silence*

That moment when you've spent an entire weekend trying to solve a problem spanning hundreds of lines of code but then you find out there is a library for it

When someone says their code won't work, even when they tried adding the first post from a StackOverflow page.

History is never made by those who use incognito browsers :D

When the client starts asking you for features like a kid asking santa for presents.

"It would be nice to have this... Oh! And that..."
Two weeks later, "I forgot to menthion, I also want this this and this"

He thinks He's in a buffet?!

Just learned the previous dev team thought a db column with a value of NULL or "Y" was a great way to handle boolean values.

At every family outing (I was typing "family function" but that may confuse this audience..

Uncle: That Mark Facebook guy is worth billions now! And the Twitter guy too. When are you going to think of something?

Me: You think of a unique idea, I'll build it.

Uncle: I don't know, that's what you do isn't it?

Me: *sigh*

(This is the same Uncle that shares "Free Holiday" posts on FB and is always quick to answer FB questions such as "I bet you can't name a fruit starting with A"...)

Dev: *completes tasks, pushes to UAT and assigns to PM in Jira for testing*

PM: *receives notifications and immediately bulk change on all taks and assigns to client without testing*

So what is it you do here...?

- Hey, good morning. Can I see any progress you've done? - Asked boss.
- Hello, it's monday morning, briefing arrived friday - PM answered.

"Kicking goals?"

Fucks me right off. What's your most hated PM cliche phrase?

It's just not the weekend until you are asked to break protocol for a Live-At-Five Friday deploy.

That lovely moment when a client calls out of the blue at 4:30PM (we close at 5), 3 weeks before scheduled launch and says, "My website goes down tomorrow so where are we at with the new site?" So...I scrambled all day today to get the site done and it turns out they don't even own their domain or control their DNS. (facepalm) They put in a 30 day cancellation with their current provider and didn't bother to mention we had barely 2 weeks to develop a full custom site.