Singing along loudly with songs while coding

Writing down your thoughts makes your brain feel free because it doesn't have to keep them inside itself.

It's kinda like talking a huge dump.

Here's a conversation I had at work:

Me: "this project that I've inherited, aside from the UI problems it has, it also has severe code problems that need to be fixed"

Project Manager: "I don't care about the code. The code is not my concern. Don't waste time on it and just make the app look good."

I love this guy 😂

I adore Kotlin.

Is it just me or anyone else wants support for Markdown in devRant as well?

Worst hypothetical Dev job:

Having to make website compatible with w3m browser.

When you type by swiping and make an error, does that become 'swipo"

Here's a recent interview I had for an Android Developer job:
I: Interviewer, M: Me

I: hello, welcome
M: hi, thanks

I: do you know Kotlin?
M: yes, I've been working with it for 1.5 years and have written 3 projects in it

I: do you know RxJava, Dagger, Retrofit, and how to make Custom Views?
M: yes, I'm comfortable with them *explains*

I: do you know Room?
M: yes I do, I've done a lot of practices in it, but unfortunately have never needed to use it in production

I: what architecture do you use? Do you know MVP?
M: I'm currently using MVVM, but not MVP. I've debugged projects in it so I know what's going on in it

I: ok, do you have any questions for us?
M: how did I do?

I: I'm sorry sir, but you're not even a junior here
M: what? Why is that?

I: well you don't know Room and MVP?
M: I said I know them, just haven't used them in production.

I: well you have 3 years of experience but you dont even know Kotlin!
M: Kotlin was your first question and I said I have 3 projects in it. Did you even check the samples you asked for in the job posting?

I: SIR YOU'RE NOT A GOOD FIT FOR US, THANK YOU FOR COMING.

:/

I need to know, supposing where you work has an empty remote position, will your company hire devs from Iran?

So silicon valley ended. And Mr Robot is ending in 4 days. What the fuck am I gonna do with my life then?!

9 days.
9 fucking days without internet.
9 fucked up days with access to a national intranet with the only accessible things being websites with privacy-respect policy of facebook, with all your unencrypted data streaming under dictator hands.

Living in Iran I've seen the 403 message so much that I just wanted to yell fuck you google!

One does not simply uninstall visual studio...one has to first update the installer

So you're gonna underpay me when you know damn well I'm the best dev you've had in at least the last year? Guess who's gonna learn DVORAK on a QWERTY

When you spend 4 hours writing that algo, then spend the same amount of time to celebrate

mongo in slang means idiot, which comes from the term mongol or mongoloid, which is a deprecated word that used to be used for sufferers of down syndrome. So MongoDB means "Down Syndrom Data Base"

Also mongo means huge, so it may have been named after that.

I need help understanding GitHub culture. How many stars do you say is equal to 1000 Instagram likes?

In the first few months that I took coding seriously, I used to see a feature in some android apps that I really liked and wanted to do. One night in my sleep, I don't know how, but dreamed about it's solution and how to achieve it. So I snapped out of sleep at 2 am and started working on it. I finished it at around 5 am, but I was too exited and happy to go back to sleep, so I kept adding things to it and expanding it until 8 am, when I had to go to work. And at work I had to code until 5 pm, although we had one hour for food and resting. That was the longest I coded!

Anything in my Github page. Because I made them 🙃

The story of a bug you passed as a feature, and client actually liked it.

Its 5:14 am, I have a job interview tomorrow at 10:30 am, and I cant sleep :/

The level of swears and insults have gone up in here recently. I name AlexDeLarge as the most influential.

Lets create a story:

One day I was coding on my laptop, and I decided to get out to get a cup of coffee...

*One day at office sitting at my desk coding in front of a window with a refreshing breathe of fresh air coming from it, and a decent view of trees in front of the building*

CEO: would you like to be sitting together with the other dev?
Me: that would be awesome!

- next day -

*come to work to see my stuff has been moved over next to the always open door, with clear view of the lobby, prone to all kinds of nonstop distractions, and psychologically lethal ambiance*

ceo: YOU TWO ARE SITTING TOGETHER NOW, AREN'T YOU PSYCHED??

me: WELL CANT SAY PSYCHED, BUT A PSYCHO SOON HAHAHA >fucking asshole<

Launching my own tech company, and bringing google down to it's knees with it 🤘

When my company signs a contract with employees, they put the income as minimum wage, and verbally agree with him that they'll pay the rest of the income (which is about 3 times the minimum wage) as extra work, so they wont pay a lot for taxes. The employee has no choice but to accept.

But when the pay time comes, the company will only pay the minimum wage, making employees unable to sue.

This ultimately causes employees doing things like moving all project files to pen drives, telling the CEO about it, making the CEO run after them to the streets begging for the pen drive, and when he finally softens and gives them the drive, they open the zip files inside it to see (I shit you not) images of people flipping the bird.
Or this: https://devrant.com/rants/1332501/...

The guy who did android dev before me in the company i work for, didn't get paid for 2 months, so he moved all the project files he worked on to an empty partition and locked the drive with Windows' BitLocker. He didn't give the password until he was fully paid. I kinda respect that guy.

Fuck a phone that sets its alarm sound level on silent by itself.