*Me and my GF who works for CIA*

Me: Send nudes
GF: Whose do you want ?

My last night:
- Had nothing much to work on.
- Opened a porn site to spend sometime.
- Clicked on some really good video.
- Realized full screen isn't working on the page.
- Fired up JS console, spent the next 30 minutes trying to get the video part full screen. Failed!
- Opened up Google & navigated through stackoverflow looking for the fix. Still couldn't do it.
- Cursed the website for having a bad design.
- Left the site.

Bad UI = No Fuck.

Everyday i used to spend an hour in the morning reading emails.

Until i made a script that reads all mails, parses to urgent/priorities/meetings etc. Then shows me a dashboard of everything. 1 hr turned to 20mins max.

Then i made a chatbot out of it and now i just talk to it everytime and gives me the rundown.

Gave me so much time to code instead of reading fucking emails.

You always amaze me Windows!

A: So are you the programmers of this software?

B: Yeah, I did the front end

A: Oh it looks so fantastic! It is simple, yet beautiful and responsive. Truly great design, you are so talented!

C: I did the back end...

A: Oh, you mean the server stuff?

C: Yeah

A: Niceeee

git everywhere

Programmers calendar be like....

Boss: Logo needs to be more grey. Touch it up in photoshop.

Me: .logo {opacity: 0.6;}

Boss: perfect!

Shit, I'm reading devRant in Church! Please forgive me dear Lord.

Programs are like women,
No matter how much you get mad because of errors,
You're always the one who's wrong ..

Which one are you???

Sometimes, when it comes to programming, I feel my school curriculum is drawing me back.

My girlfriend got me this mug. She's the one.

A young guy I work with burst into tears today, I had no idea what happened so I tried to comfort him and ask what was up.

It appears his main client had gone nuts with him because they wanted him to make an internet toolbar (think Ask.com) and he politely informed them toolbars doesn't really exist anymore and it wouldn't work on things like modern browsers or mobile devices.

Being given a polite but honest opinion was obviously something the client wasn't used to and knowing the guy was a young and fairly inexperienced, they started throwing very personal insults and asking him exactly what he knows about things (a lot more than them).

So being the big, bold, handsome senior developer I am, I immediately phoned the client back and told them to either come speak to me face-to-face and apologise to him in person or we'd terminate there contract with immediate effect. They're coming down tomorrow...

So part my rant, part a rant on behalf of a young developer who did nothing wrong and was treated like shit, I think we've all been there.

We'll see how this goes! Who the hell wants a toolbar anyway?!

I seldom code without the music complimenting my mood lol. What artists do you guys listen to while working?

True..

I am surrounded by incompetent fucking idiots, from the team lead that does a half arsed job at coding and then wonders why nothing further down the chain works to whole component teams that seem to be lagging so far behind they don't even know what the current code base looks like.

And who's in the middle of it all running around fixing all the problems these fucktards create, why yes it's me.

I would leave to let it implode and see what they'd do but I already know, they'd leave it till I got back so I could fix it all for them.

Feel like going around with a rolled up news paper and whacking each of them on the back of the head while screaming "no, bad code monkey, bad, fix your own bugs"

I hate being the go to fix it guy sometimes.

IMO form is temporary, class is permanent 😎

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