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Search - "smh"
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Me: my computer is dead, are you using the iMac?
Sister: your computer is dead because of the coding! Even my friend agrees that coding causes viruses18 -
I was writing a Python code and my teacher saw. She knows nothing about programming so she asked if I was programming a bomb to blow up a building... Smh.28
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I need to hide myself, my computer, programming skills and computer knowledge from people. Then only, I will be safe..
Friend: Heeey, you're good with computers right?
Me: No! 😑
Friend: Come-on bro. I know you are.
Me: What do you want?
Friend: I want you to check and book flights for me for country X.
Me: Are you ok? How does this have anything to do with someone being good with computers and stuff?
Friend: Haha, see? You're good with computers. *starts laughing. Anyway, since you're good, you can find the best prices. I know you know how to search sites and how to find things online.
Me: WTF?!?!!! All, you have to do is type in your search. If you don't like the results, you simply refine it.
Friend: See, all this tech stuff I'm not really good at it.
Me: But you're good at searching for other things online, right? Do the same for your flights.
*Picks my laptop and walks away.
How can a young man not be able to search for flights online but knows how to use several gadgets. Nonsense.10 -
Today at class
CS Friend : "Why is your Windows looks different?"
Me : " Oh its not Windows, im running Linux"
CS Friend : " What is Linux?"
Me : "..." smh8 -
When you're just coding away in some Coffee Shop and some random guy/girl asks you
"are you trying to hack the wifi" smh13 -
Started using longer passphrases for logins, colleague starts to tell people I'm doing bad things because"no one needs a password that long"
I get reprimanded by my boss
How the hell does this even happen smh18 -
PM: Hey Brod, I know your really busy refactoring to ES6 but I think our Ruby app broke, could you fix it?..
Me: Ask Tom, he's the only one here who knows ruby he wrote the app..
PM: I didn't want to interrupt his Skype call.
Me: he's not on Skype, that's his face, he's taking snapchats.
PM: oh, well I don't want to really interrupt that either.
SAY YOU HATE ME. JUST SAY IT.8 -
"We don't need to invest in security - noone is going to hack us anyway" == "We don't need a fire department in our city - fire is not going to start here anyway"
We don't need to invest in security - everything is public anyway" == "We don't need a fire department in our city - our buildings are made out of straws anyway"
-- my thoughts after seing a line in client's spec: "sensitive data is transferred via a secure tcp channel (https) and all the public data is transferred via an unencrypted tcp (http) channel"3 -
When your school project team fails to deliver 3 times in a row because of their incompetency and they're the sole reason for your failing grades9
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<rant data-type="corny">
My Gf of 3 years left me for some douche. Thus said, she "removed" her feelings before kissing him. WTF! I didn't know feeling came like dependencies...
</rant>9 -
Didnt expect a reputable bank to do testing in this manner. Damn you Axis Bank, your system is supposed to be the best. Smh. 😩1
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So I found a HDD in a trash bin, plugged it to a USB, and I found this while browsing shit
Either its previous owner is hiding something or is just a lonely man and promptly forgot where his ahem... interesting stuff was stored.
I only backuped what I need and erased the damn thing btw, its now a spare drive20 -
Just got off call with someone looking for a cofounder
Person: There is no defined requirement, the cofounder must do whatever is needed to get the business to grow.
Me: Okay, what is it that you are building?
Person: It doesn't matter. Software deployment is secondary. If you get on board, you have to be willing to do whatever it takes!
Me: Alright? Lets suppose I have onboarded, what am I supposed to do now?
Person: We need a chatbot.6 -
*Me feeling productive on a day
Today I am going to start working on the complex part of my proect. Spends 1 hour deciding what all technologies to use , how to implement it, which design patterns to use .
Let's do it
*15 min later
Making some tiny css corrections
*3 hrs later
Making some tiny css corrections
*An eternity later
REALISED DIDN'T SET THE SIZE OF THE PARENT CONTAINER TO 100%
So much for thinking about being productive for today :(((5 -
Just found another forum message from someone that doesn't understand Java and JavaScript. They said JavaScript is the code that Java runs....I thought we fixed these people.4
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Oh right! This function has only 1 line, this will be easy to fix.
Wait...
What!?
It's a mile long!5 -
Boss: don't worry about the architecture, it's an one-off project, just make it work...
2 months later...
Boss: hey, remember that one-off project? we need to add in a few more features... Also can we reuse that code for this new one-off project we have to do for this new client?3 -
Person: How are you?
Me: *googles,,, 'how to respond to a how are you questions'*
Me to Me: What is happening to me???!! I need help!!!
Also Me: *Posts about it on devrant*11 -
Used to build custom computers... Used to get calls from pissed off people that their cup holder was poorly designed and broke off... One guy even called about it a second time... After we explained what this was for and replaced the part.... SMH10
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HR: What was the last project you handled?
Me: I worked on an internal system for my current company. It is basically an interdepartmental monitoring system.
HR: Ohh. Good. Do you have a copy of it? Can you show me how it works?
Me: ......5 -
Recruiters now a-days :
Recruiter : I noticed you have java script experience on your resume, we’re looking for a junior Java developer with 7 years of experience
Me : -_____________-4 -
So I was strolling around some open source project on GitHub, this particular one had thousands of issues. A lot of them were closed by the maintainer with comments like "I can't reproduce it", "It's working fine for me", "Pretty sure you have some bad configurations on your machine", et cetera, smh4
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Don't you just love it when you're pitching new project ideas and there's always that one negative person that has to find something to complain about?
They literally said to me "But what if the user runs out of battery? that will make the application useless for them"
At this point it just feels like this person is turning down every idea for the sake of turning them down.11 -
LONELINESS IS REAL
I am a freshman in a university ( about to complete my first year ) with a girl to boy ratio of around 1:10. During my first semester I was spending a lot of time with friends, chatting up with people and making connections. Due to this my productivity as a dev, if I am even capable of being called that decreased ( I was not a developer before joining , but I had an aim of being one , esp at least the best in my batch ) after 1st year. In retrospect I did nothing productive till 3 months out of 4 in my first sem and the guilt hit me hard . During the last month I had to catch up with my much neglected studies and all I had done was a little bit of html and css, and barely scratched the surface of js( please don't judge me for this :) , I had to start somewhere < although I learned a little bit of C++ > ). BUT I WAS A HAPPY CUNT, and had no sign of lonelines. Now during this sem , I had made progress ( learn js with es6 syntax and still learning, did c++ and extended my knowledge ) . Currently I am working on my Vue full stack app ( along with express and some websocket library , TBD ) < yeh I learnt some backend too > , and increasing my knowledge of dsa using clrs. Although my productivity has increased manifolds but I know feel the need of closure. I am kinda happy with the fact that I know a lot of people around here ( thanks to my extroverted 1st semester ) but sometimes it hits me hard at night when I don't have a monitor to drown my eyes and thoughts in. I have increased my academic performance too but I need someone to share and express my feelings with. I could have made a girlfriend earlier but now most of them are taken and I have lost touch. But believe me, all I want is a companion to spend these lonely days and night ( not talking about as a friend ). Staying away from home isnt easy you know...m :(
KUDOS TO DEVRANT FOR DEVELOPING A COMMUNITY WHERE PEOPLE LIKE ME CAN FEEL SAFE IN OUR NATURAL HABITAT. I COULDN'T HAVE EXPRESSED MY FEELINGS ANYWHERE ELSE EXCEPT IN A PERSONAL BLOG ( where no one would have read it )
PS1: I apologise if I sounded arrogant about any of my skill, I didn't mean that way. I ain't even that good, just kinda proud of myself a little for achieving something I couldn't have thought.
PS2: Any type of suggestions and help is much appreciated ( considering I am a college student who went into some serious development 4 months ago , I am pretty impressionable ;) )
PS3: Please don't confuse this with depression. I am HAPPY BUT LONELY
PS4: Is there a way so that I can change my username?16 -
The client said meeting was Monday at 9:30AM. My fault was forgetting to ask what Monday of the year it was. It's already past 11AM and still no sign of them. smh7
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!dev
So my friend (a girl) just posted a selfie, and someone (guy) asked in the comment “You haven’t take a shower?”. For fuck sake she’s just wearing casual clothes, smh7 -
I hate this work from home shit with your family around. "You're always in front of the computer, go workout, go socialize, its family time"
What part of "work from home" you don't understand. SMH!9 -
last week was the funniest week in my damn life.
so apparently, some of friend knew about i can make some mobile applications, lets just call her riri. and that week, riri's Instagram account got hacked.
whats so funny about it? she ask me to get her account back or she'll accuse me as the one who hacked her account.
when i ask her, how could i bring her account back, she replied with, "why would you ask me? you were the one who good at computer thingy"
SO?
if i can drive a car, you'll assuming that i can make a car and repair it myself?
haha, funny6 -
"Wanted: Dangerous PHP Developer"
I edit on live during peak hours with no backups using basic Notepad over an unencrypted network. That dangerous enough?4 -
One of a developer's worst nightmare:
their headphones that they use in work is broken/doesn't work3 -
Auth Endpoint:
user name and password correct:
- response 200: with session key and profile info
user name and password incorrect:
- response 200: blank
smh -
I hate it when your non dev friend uses top notch hardware and I am stuck with a piece of shit junk15
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Customer: Do you need my computer password?
Me: Yes, I do. Why don't you write it down for me? *fills out work order form while she writes down her password*
Customer: Here you go *slides me sticky note with password on it*
Me: *usual spiel about computer repair stuff*
Customer: *leaves*
Me: *to Coworker* So this lady's password is "AmishForLife* (modified for security purposes).
Coworker: On her iPad?!
Me: And her computer, yes
Coworker: *laughs*
Me: I wonder how well that's working out for her... -
Does balding scare the shit out of anyone else here? I am 19 and have started showing signs of male pattern baldness *sigh*. Just hope to make it to 25 without balding completely.23
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Did "Quick Look" on a loading gif at work today... And sat for around 30 seconds waiting. Then realised I was looking at the actual gif rather than Quick Look reading the file.
Laughed quite hard when I raised I was waiting for sod all! 😂
Yeah, today was one of those days. 😒1 -
nothing like being interviewed by non-devs for a dev role. the words experience and samples go right out the window and all they care about is do you have a degree because a piece of paper proves you can code and not your actual code. smh4
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Was trying out React Native and creating a Hello World, I checked the file size and it was about 465mb, and I just thought it was nonsense, then I checked the size of the node module and it was 465mb...smh
god damn node modules man!7 -
Today I couldn't decide if I wanted an h4 or a p so my fingers did the most intelligent thing available and went with "<hp>"
Smh -
Thanks to devrant , now I can be one those people trying to look social in one those so called meets with personal touch where everyone is scrolling their Facebook (still)
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Looking at open positions, noticed that some of the jobs I've seen a year ago are still looking for an engineer with 2+ years of experience.....
Could of taken anyone and taught him everything you need already..... You had a full year SMH7 -
One of my project managers wanted a feature where the user can save over files without having to delete all information of the previous file and that they could go through previous versions. So I told him, "Okay, what you want is a versioning system." Then he proceeded to say no and describe the exact same thing as a versioning system. I wanted to yell at him that that's exactly what he wanted but kept my mouth shut because there is no point in continuing the conversation.4
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!rant
When people listen to a complete story and then ask who the villian was..
DEVS : It's like reading JavaScript and then asking what is "this"2 -
x comes out.
Team: hey let's rewrite our project using x!
4 months later..
y comes out.
Team: x is so crappy, let's rewrite our project using y!
3 months later...
z comes out...
Team: why did we ever use y, let's rewrite our project using z!
.
.
.5 -
brave browser… smh.
i read through the whole homepage and you put "open source" at the bottom
next time please start with that6 -
Most people choose Whatsapp for its lightweight-ness and Facebook decided to make it fat with video statuses. Smh.5
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`npx create-react-app blah`
`cdls blah && npm audit`
63 vulnerabilities.
good fucking job.
To be fair, they're all minor, but they're all *exactly* the same, caused by the same freaking package. Update your dependencies already!
------
`npm i --save formik && npm audit`
68 vulnerabilities, three of them critical.
ugh.6 -
Now I have to register on oracle website with a my company name and work phone before i can download jre or jdk. That's it boys and girls. You're unemployed? No minecraft for you!20
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My department boss
Boss: Explain to me what your working on.
Me: Just this thing in JavaScript.
Boss: Whats JavaScript ?
SMH...4 -
Project Manager comments on all my on-going tickets "any updates?"
And the project manager gets awarded "most productive"
While the tickets I've been assigned can't be closed in just a day
smh4 -
Today at work I found this in the code...
if (argCount < 2 && argCount > 3) {
// log invalid arg count
return;
}
And this passed code inspection and has been sitting there unnoticed for about a year and a half... 😂
Whether it's mixing up and with or, or forgetting a semicolon, we've all done it at some point! 😊7 -
Had to interview a "Tech Lead" who apparently has 9 years of experience in Enterprise Java, AWS, spring cloud, microservices and all the in-demand tech jargon you can think of. Plus has mentioned he has cleared OCJP (java certification) with 90% marks.
So I ask him how do microservices work - he says there's another team handling it.
I give a simple string manipulation problem and ask him to write code in an IDE or explain the logic with pseudocode and get this..
He says since he is a lead I cannot ask him to write code and should only ask about his experience.
I'm like - Sure Sir. While I do that, I will also put in a strong recommendation for you to be hired, give up all my salary to you, become your slave for life and order your lunch everyday with my savings.6 -
When you're signing up for an account on a government site not to be named in this rant and they limit your password to 6 alphanumeric characters and no special characters... Smh8
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Python and java tests in college? Both on paper, so you can only write your code once, using a pen, and you can't debug it or modify it. Awesome right... Smh11
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When you are trying to be supportive to a colleague but he sees your act as condescension on your part. BITCH I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOU, BUT UNFORTUNATELY I HAVE TO WORK WITH YOU SO PLEASE KNOW THE BARE MINIMUMS TO DO THE TASK. Also he complained to others that he was offended . He was tryna learn react before knowing es6 and nodejs , doesn't know asynchronous and was strongly suggesting that our whole fucking team move to React and I just suggested some topics to look to. I carried his ass once , and seems like now will have to carry it once more :(
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A few days ago, I went to a job interview where the recruiter (boss) expected me to fill a position that normally pays $30 an hour elsewhere for $10 an hour. As if that wasn't enough, he acted like he was being very generous with the $10 an hour because I'm a college kid. Smh.
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Email from boss: Have a nice weekend everyone!
Colleague A's reply: The weather is gonna be bad...
PM: Oh then A, you can stay at home and make sure the sites are working over the weekend!
5 seconds later boss replied:
Oh enjoy watching the sites then!
I can tell you two are from the same pile of turd *smh* -
Was interested to learn about OpenGL and WebGL. Just found out no fucking drivers exist for my graphics card on Ubuntu.
WTF AMD !!! Atleast provide some compatibility for your product if I am purchasing it !!!8 -
Anyone else hate it when your client knows jack shit and asks you for something that they think is easy but for you is a weeks worth of shit? Yeah it sucks balls6
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When your boss is a weeb and is always watching anime or trying to convince you to watch it while you're working. Smh.3
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Client doesn't have any idea what pages/links they want for their website. Same client told me to call the guy who recommended me to him for the project brief...wtf...I mean WTF!!!5
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Don't you just hate it when you're getting fat because you're a developer who is lazy to go to the gym then start developing some messed up health problems and always feel shitty. Smh10
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How many Gmail accounts have your non-techy relatives created because they keep on forgetting their password and shit? Everytime they have a new Android Phone, they also have a new Gmail. Smh.5
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Hi devRant!
I take a CS class in the UK and can not believe how people use technology. Almost everyone is using smartphones and stuff but somebody can't get out of fullscreen in chrome.
He thought he broke the computer smh2 -
It's a Friday morning I'm tired as hell after a hard week. trying to plough through all my work earphones in, music really loud. Sales guy in the office tries to talk to me i didn't hear him as my earphones were in he then says "you need to turn your music down or turn it off if you can't hear us" he said this in this serious tone. *music gets louder* to drown his noise out.3
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Finding out you've done a project wrong because you completely misinterpreted the direction you got at the start and your brain took it in a totally different direction and having to start over again with it is lots of fun. I recommend it to everyone.1
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I tried to look for ParrotSec on Google because a friend of mine told me about it and instead of typing in what I should I typed, I was off by one key and had actually typed in "ParrotSex".rant smh wft typo fail why is x and c so close to each other get back to work are you that jobless sigh i hope you're reading this5
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I was looking at some poorly written code today in a project and I was curious to see who wrote it. I blamed it and found I had wrote it 6 months ago! smh Well... at least I know I'm getting better! I ended up refactoring it to use better code patterns.2
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"we have add a lot of cost partly due to currency exchange rate, but we also added some services and servers, we'll have a meeting and see what we can cancel or re-arrange."
So now....
- JIRA is gone
- SEO tools are gone
- budget for site security & SSL undecided
- Servers are too expensive.
$800 for twelve 2-24gb ram servers with backup, I call that bargain
Can't wait to see the websites falling apart. Now where are my popcorns?9 -
Rant time. So, me and a few classmates finally finished and handed in a website for a web development class a few days ago. Before we handed it in, we had a meeting with the professor to discuss what we still needed to do.
Us: Are we missing anything?
Prof: Nope. Looks good. Just make sure you have stylus implemented.
Us: Cool, thanks.
We got our grade back today. We didn't do as great as we'd hope, and here's one of the comments that the professor left us:
"You forgot to implement all of the CRUD operations. -4"
WHAT THE **** IS THAT? We asked you if we were missing anything, and you said no. You reminded us about stylus, which we looked at ONCE in a 13-week class, but you failed to remind us that we needed all of the CRUD ops?2 -
My new mobile development teacher just admitted he has never learnt git or any other VCS, I asked him what he does when shit happens and he just said,
"I just have a folder for each version backed up to Google Drive"
This is the guy that's teaching us? Surely as a teacher you should be setting a proper example and using good practises....?16 -
Fun Story: My first official project was related to system files security. In first meeting project manager was talking about Macros and OLE i had no idea what the heck he was saying.just kept noding
Took us 2 months to complete the project now it has been deployed and working perfectly
Told my manager about this during final one on one meeting and he couldnt believe me,he still laughs about it everytime we meet -
Does anyone here just wake up and feel shitty for absolutely no reason why ? When I say absolutely no reason means none whatseover from previous day etc . I wanna know if it's just me 😅4
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I am doing some freelance work for a client who is thankfully mindful about security. I found out that they are so strict with their access because they had a huge data breach last year.
Today I was given access to their repo for connecting to their AS400. In the docker file the username and password were included and were the same for dev and prod. They also are performing no sql injection prevention. They are just joining strings together.1 -
So I just recently found out there's a local idol group named MNL48 in here.
Basically bringing the seiyuu/J-Pop culture in the Philippines.
...
Maybe I should've became an idol instead of a senior high school programmer :/3 -
I finally got my new Smartphone after going there personally to the courier
Seriously the couriers were lazy piece of shits and they can't even deliver to my address when it's perfectly valid.
Like couriers from my local PO and from Lazada/Taobao can even get to my house, what the fuck2 -
Fuck graphics cards for only providing 1 hdmi port and then 200 displayport connections. Like every of my monitors have one. Smh2
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- Got one more section to rewrite from this thesis and I'll be done. (except for stuff after review)
- Have zero ass to sit down and actually do the final trims.
Smh.7 -
Headhunter: "For this new role you would be the first developer in the company responsible for both the back and frontend, you will also have to test your deliverables, give support to users and report to the..."
*CLICK*
Had to hang up on dat shit 🙉3 -
smh.
Why hire a Native iOS Developer when you're going to let him develop an iOS app to look EXACTLY like its Android counterpart?
There's hybrid and cordova for that if you want your apps to look and feel exactly the same.
Can't we all just agree to appreciate the distinct differences in UI for both platforms? Navigation especially? Copy context not UI.undefined android copy context not ui ios apple google human interface design material design hybrid -
PM schedules deployment on a Friday... I address my concern about deploying on Fridays, I am assured it won't happen again since it is a special occasion. Next week's Friday... "Guys we need the remaining tasks on jira by today, client wants the app on production by today". smh1
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I'm so fucking done today.
The VB project I ranted about earlier was apparently just the top of the iceberg of madness that is my workplace.
So the same ninjacoder who managed to code himself as a dependency in the VB project apparently had his greasy little fingers in a bunch of other projects around here.
A script for automating new workstation installs that went haywire last week had traces from this Omnipotent mastermind all over it. He got us this time with static urls and zero errorhandling.
Well played sir.
Getting so done with undocumented projects that I have to dig through several hours just to find and fix.1 -
I just fucking hate it when a really important website (Govt. service registration) is pathetically designed and developed. They're literally the government they can't even fucking hire a good development team to dev a website that millions of people are gonna use everyday!?5
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A 'senior' dev just questioned us (by question, I mean scold) when I suggest writing some additional information regarding db patching scheme of our project on our Wiki, just thought it might be useful for other possibly new devs later.
Apparently that would be 'spoon- feeding' them and it is totally NOT GOOD.
Smh.2 -
Best : Finally getting my first internship after teaching myself how to code.
Worst : Was a preeeeeeetty shitty internship. I know you'll say all internships are hard BUT, this one was on another level.1 -
So. This job gets alot more interresting by the day.
The clients at this place use a software to monitor machines on a Day to day basis. We've gotten tons of complaints about the software from clients thats on Win10, that its a buggy mess.
Nothing we can do about it, its 3:rd party.
Software is currently on version 14.0, and is non complient with win7, if not being ran on v13.
I've talked to the devs and told them to fix it, since its such a huge issue, but they don't know whats causing it and holding out for v15.
So for users who can't stand the buggyness of v14 on win10 we have to recomend downgrading to win7 and running this garbage software on v13.3 -
Asus does not know how to implement a button that is also a fingerprint scanner,my phone keeps closing all apps cuz my fingers are sweaty(the button isnt actually clickable it just senses...My sweat smh)4
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Its amazing how many people call themselves programmers yet cannot figure out the usefulness of print/log statements. 🤦♂️
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So I was asked to do a card redesign A/B Test
The results came in
Redesign performs 20% worse
PM’s report says “no significant difference, redesign approved”
He just wanted his redesign to be published
smh, why trouble with A/B Test when results are known faster than during elections in North Korea1 -
Client asks for a Facebook page setup. I find out not only do they have no one to manage the FB page, no one in the company even has a personal FB account.
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WRITING CODE ON PAPER...smh
I know many people wrote about this already, but writing code on paper is one of the worst things of a CS class. I’d rather get a computer with no internet access and use a notes app to write code instead of having to write everything by hand. It takes so much more time that you could spend thinking about the problem. Not only that but also my hand gets tired of writing...ughhhh
I need to convince my teacher and the school to switch to writing code on computers! I will not loose this battle ahah7 -
Alright let's get real and finish this module
* 5 mins later *
Ooh look, a new js framework. I wonder what does this do hmm.. -
I am literally tasked with debugging why we have a 1.98 seconds lag on our site running on kubernetes. Smh4
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1.Working on a repo's 20 day old version without pulling the changes first
2. Then blaming me to not tell him
3. Ultimately sending me a see screenshot of his code to incorporate in my code ( which he himself didn't write, but asked a coworker to do it)
WTF DUDE. Atleast you could have realised your mistake and not blamed me for it -
Debugging a previously employed intern code for hours (poorly written JavaScript). Found out they were comparing the exact string value of the input boxes. #smh5
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Who knew that NOT using results given from an API can actually help.
The private devRant APIs give you offsets in text of where links are in comments and in rants.
It’s EXTREMELY inaccurate and I don’t understand why it’s so hard to write it so it’s accurate 100% of the time.
So I said fuck it and NOT use the given offsets and just hard-find using the built-in algorithms inside Swift to create the range for me. Results? It works 100% of the time. No crashes, no out-of-range errors, no nothing.8 -
Got 8 tickets today and 7 of them we already done in production. Are all PMs lazy or am I just lucky??
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Co-Dev: The table doesn't have pagination. You said if I use your code it will have search bar and pagination.
Me: Did you initialize datatable? (we are using JQuery DataTables)
CD: No. Do I have to? How can I do it?
I. can't. even.6 -
Spent the whole day trying too get react-native working on windows. It felt like i was teaching a dinosaur to fly a drone. SMH 4 windows!!! :(
It worked!1 -
!rant
After 4 - 5 months of learning webD, I am trying to build my first fullstack web application (simple chat one ).
My stack :
FRONTEND:
Vue.js + Materialize
Backend:
Express ( handling routes )
Mongoose/MongoDB ( Database )
Socket.io ( web sockets for real time connection )
JWT
Had dreamt of this 2 months ago where I built a basic front end using html and css, and now porting it to Vue is like a breeze.
Wish me luck and let's hope it doesnot become one of the unfinished projects. ( My university semester exams are coming up , would have to complete this as fast as possible ). I am also learning DSA + STL and aim to learn basic python syntax before holidays so that I can focus my time on ML during them. It's so fucking overloaded that I have my doubts ::((4 -
Wrote a set of beautiful Swift functions. Runs Xcode, nothing. Checks code...looks good...clean build, delete app, re-install, rebuild...nothing. Checks documentation, watches three videos, re-writes code...nothing. Stares at screen for an hour...realizes I never actually called the functions. Closes laptop, checks self into pysch ward.3
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I'm currently an iOS developer and i have to learn .NET for work. It's a fucking mess of an environment. Everything I try to learn seems to be outdated. smh7
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<!--begin rant-->
When you take an online class thinking you can work at your own pace, but the teacher expects work on a Monday and Thursday schedule? The reason I took the class is to work at my own pace, wtf? If I had time on a Monday and Thursday I would've took it in school those days. Smh!! -
Literally came across the third line of code and made this meme.
To top it off, the if statement looked like this:
if ([that ugly code])
{ //it is
...
}
This is coding at its finest....2 -
when you are at someone else's desktop/laptop and the screen is so dirty you can almost see what that person likes to eat.
yuck!
And if that's a touch-screen, you are literally touching what that person ate weeks, months ago.6 -
User: Hey, guys. I'm uploading those docs you requested to your website, but I noticed that my connection to your site is not private.
Company: Thank you for your question. Please, don't worry, we have a privacy policy on our website.
User: ... -
When you're at work and your friend text you asking if you could fix her Pokemon Go account. Gurrrl...
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When the project manager commits a build that's broken and then blames it on you...smh
Learn to compile a successful build before you commit the change out to everyone!! 😤 -
a professor at the uni is recording his lectures to be extra nice for some of us students who might be unable to come or want to repeat some parts for a better understanding of the subject *cough*.
but instead of sharing it via a streaming platform (whichever that might be in the end), he uses the internal net of the uni. i know there might be some copyright issues with material he uses in his lectures, but still.
what he expects us to do is to download files of around 12GB in size per lecture that we want to rewatch.
marvelous.5 -
Had to get my car looked at because it kept veering to the right, and my team decides to meet to work on our website without me. "You don't have to be there. It's fine." Next day, I learn that they finished a lot of the website and there's not much left to do. No, it's fine. I only wanted to contribute the ******* simple backend stuff and look like I contributed nothing to the website.
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Samsung make such shit phones. My 2 month old s8 completely locked up for about 5 hours today with cpu on 100%. You would get burnes if you touched it. The only apps I have are, instagram, FF, snap, devRant. Smh.8
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The Amazon Music app is so dumb. Instead of simply saying that it can't find anything for your search, it exclaims that they're experiencing difficulties, smh.5
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A few friends and I on our way home from a hackathon:
Lady at the door of the airplane:
*sees our hack the north lanyards*
Lady: "Oh where are we coming from? Hack the North? That means if we have any wifi problems onboard you can help us out right?
Us: ... suuureee2 -
When you're trying to find a bug in your parser/interpreter but it's working fine and all this time the bug was in the code you were feeding to the parser/interpreter. Smh2
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spent 2 days trying to figure out why my css was working fine on one page but not another. found it was due to the doc type declaration on one of the pages was mad about me not putting height:100% on a parent div. smh1
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Knowing a lot but getting chewed out over not knowing some obscure thing or others expecting you to be able to read their minds...smh that or then not responding to questions..so tldr; people, people are the worst part about being a dev.
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Final exam gonna start in 2 days and here I'm contemplating what to do after exams(lots of stuff in mind).
I think everyone go through this and usual dilemma for choosing what to do.
So much to learn, so little time. Smh.. -
Not a true dev rant but still thought I'd share:
Systems team installed new software product I've been asked to setup and test. Within 15 minutes of getting into the software I've already had to open two support tickets with the vendor. Fast forward two hours and I'm putting in a third support ticket. SMH.2 -
why cant google just index my fucking website?
its been two weeks and the last one I did took so little time
if you go to https://google.com/search/... it shows up, but not the most common query for the site https://google.com/search/...
smh🤦♂️3 -
What programming language did you study in high school? In my country they teach us Pascal for what ever reason, me coming from c++ I can t support it17
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me printing some variables and function returns and such in <pre> tags while developing/debugging and immediately see designers' entries on bugherd saying the site doesn't work and shit my that. smh...1
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The ability to sudo kill all the idiots that point a deprecated function to another deprecated funtion that points to a deprecated function. Smh.
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Hi. I just wanted to share I failed the google online interview. Thought I was prepared, I vomit and had diarrhea 30mins before the interview, Always makes mistakes on google docs. I keep pressing tabs which uglifies the code, miss-spelled my variables and functions name, mistakenly put everything in const (I got used to my editor yelling at me when I used const instead of let, should not rely on this). But there's always next time. I hope.6
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New windows update idea, everytime it’s updating, a commentary of your life with Morgan Freeman as voice over while you wait for your life to end, you know cause windows update took a fucking lifetime. smh.
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As a developer there is one thing that I hate above all things in this industry and thats doing terms & conditions pages -.- smh.3
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I interviewed a graphic designer/artist for a small job and that guy straight up asked me how much usd would I pay him? I said I can only pay you 150 exposure max.
Balls on these guys. smh.3 -
That moment you realize you just completed a task for a client because they asked for it but you didn't first check to see if the request was part of the original spec and estimate and so you don't really get to be paid for it.
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When you accidentally send a screenshot of a chat to the person him/herself. Lot of shitload to get out off .. FYI I blocked the person. Would have to deal with it 1.5 months later when I actually meet her after vacations. I need luck :(
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When your boss makes everyone cram around a single computer in the conference room for a video conference while yelling into the microphone because he thinks that each person on their own machine with headphones on attending the same meeting is unproductive and equivalent to playing online games on company time.
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Ctrl+/ for commenting a line in xml.
Successful.
Ctrl+/ again to remove comment ....nests earlier comment.
smh...... -
on every company i worked for, i always had this "senior" team mate that seems really knowledgeable with the way he talks and just by looking at his resume but doesn't reflect on his work. smh1
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A tale of wireless cracking:
Have learnt brute force method. Evil twin method: check. WPS hack: Done.
What worked?
nameOfThePlace@123
smh3 -
SMH at parents who fall for online scams, and won't listen to me, their computer science educated son, that it is indeed a scam and do not pay them $400 to fix a pop-up.
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There's a conference room on the other side of the office. I've never been in it but I feel like only nonsense happens there.
*conference room door opens*
Someone in room: 'Taylor Swift is single again!'
10+ people inside: 'WOOOOOOOOO!!!'
Me: *smh* -
how do you develop/transition to microservices when the company does not even have developers for the core systems? all systems are either developed by or bought from software vendors. they just go and decide that they want microservices. SMH!
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I solemnly swear never to use the Fedora Media Writer tool ever again. I used it to create a bootable USB to install Ubuntu, and guess what, the setup opened fine, disk check gave no errors, but the setup always got stuck. So I created the bootable using Rufus and it worked like a charm.
SMH2 -
Tfw I found out why virtualbox was running so slowly. Smh the video memory the virtual machine was allowed to use was stuck at 16Mo. THAT'S WHY.
Feels so weird to have a (nearly) smooth vm after struggling at 5fps for about six months.2 -
in my OOP class the prof spent most of the time telling us OOP is dying, but we have to learn it anyway.5
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I literally won't ever understand:
Everyone hates JavaScript and despises using it.
Everyone also hates PHP.
So to get rid of PHP smh we decided to use js in the backend, too? And that shit is working and a lot of people enjoy this? Everything is fucked up34 -
My focus is AI but the only thing most people can respond to that is #Skynet smh 😑😑 like please tell me again about robots taking over1
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My manager just told me this at the end of the work day.
Today, my manager got a call from client "X".
They wanted to know why issue "Y" happened at event "Z" that was being put on for their client.
My manager basically told them we had nothing to do with that part of the event, so we wouldn't have had anything to do with solving problem "Y" either, but that what ended up causing problem "Y" had been passively mentioned to us months ago, and that he's not sure why their client didn't communicate it.
Client "X" told my manager that they would call back after talking to their person that helped organize event "Z".
No call back.
Definitely rant-ish, but also kind of a funny/ridiculous story to end the work day with.4 -
Every time I check my old codes i start insulting my self..... How the fuck was i that stupid..... Still Stupid tho but i m progressing :D
I m learning to code by myself without any instructor :').... I wanna use unreal engine but i forgot how to code with cpp since i m only using C# now.. made winform apps and installing xamarin to learn about cross platform devloppment :) -
"feel free to choose which ever size pixel you prefer because you get the same great experience on both we don't set aside better features for the larger device"
-Google7 -
*looking over an Excel sheet*
Me: now there are 2 rows that represent the same data, with the same description
Them: I'll just 0 out the one, and we'll ignore it.
Me: I'm never letting you near any of my databases. -
Back when Steve Jobs died, and my brother and I were freaking out and telling the bad news to everyone in our family, my sister said: "Who's Steve Jobs? Is he the guy who invented Twitter?"
😑 I can't even... 😥17 -
It really bugs me out when your co workers start working on a project without telling you. Makes me feel undervalued. I would not complete their sloppy seconds this time for sure
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Alright, WHO WROTE THIS:
/**
* Store a newly created resource in storage.
*
* @return Response
*/
public function putStore()
... This is in UserController.php. It's the function for creating new users. #smh1 -
Faced a guy who tried to pin, his data not coming up on our app. After debugging I found out he was sending the timestamp as his local time + 'z'(e.g. 2019-06-13T22:38:54.143Z), thinking thats for est and blamed us for why his data is not showing at correct time.3
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My colleague has been up my ass for a google api key but they don‘t want to pay, smh my head twice1
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I love doing multiple tech things. Development, Ops and security. Why can't people see this as tech experience and not individual subdomain experience. Why can't people switch jobs easily over Dev, Sec and Ops?
Smh.1 -
I think the dev missed a nullcheck before `handlebars.compile(name)`, don't you think?
// this snippet is from our product's repo ;)7 -
Being a university student who is about to complete his first year, is being a google certified mobile web specialist worth it?? ( More about my background : I have been into front end developement for around 4 months and this has been my first exposure to " production level coding ". I have been improving my JS skills and am currently learning Vue. I have a fair understanding of backend and am trying to build a full stack app using express, Vue and sockets . I have an interest in algorithms , dsa and machine learning although I an not able to devote my full time on it but hopefully would be able to do it in 2 to 3 months. I also have an interest in Linux and all. ). Please suggest something . Thanks in advance.
PS : I know my interests are very random , but I am just exploring my options and being a freshman , I am confused A lot . So trying to figure out something that will help me in future too4 -
there's almost no fucking soul outside, but some of these fuckers just have to fly a helicopter over the town.
where are the anti air guns, when you need them smh2 -
Today. Today was my worst meeting. We had to meet to work on our website together. I said I couldn't make it, because I have other important things to do besides the website and we still have plenty of time to work on the damn thing. "You can't f'ing skip meetings." "I know you have other things, but you made a commitment." Right. But you can decide when to have f'ing meetings based around your schedule.1
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People that commit large binary files to subversion... sigh...
(Banging head on desk waiting for binaries to finish downloading)2 -
I was at school and one of my friends asked me to help with his code. He said that his image wouldn't appear on his website.
I checked his code and it was right, so I checked his images folder.
The image he wanted to put on his HTML document was something like "prev.img". I was a bit confused. A file with a .img extension? He did put his code right, but there was still something wrong. I right clicked the image and went to the properties. The file extension was .jpg.
I eventually corrected his code but I still can't find out how he fooled himself. smh -
Migrating our application to a new environment with a new database to meet company's new standards, spend weeks getting everything around. Someone not submitting the DNS change request they said they submitted a week ago is preventing us from being done, 15 hours and counting waiting for other people. smh, we desperately need to move to DevOps.
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Instead of adopting the ` character to represent multi-line string literals like JavaScript, Swift opts for three consecutive double-quotes. """ smh4
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"Take this test," they said.
I did, and scored 81/100. Not great, but not bad.
"Not bad," they said. "But you took too much time and didn't show us experience in JavaScript."
I completed all tasks in the allotted time and did them all in JavaScript. What else am I supposed to do for you people?1 -
Today I got 3 fucking calendar blockers from HR for interviews next week. All 3 positions are "principal developer" and I'm still intermediate. I bet my ass they don't even know half of the shit I know... *smh*2
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Sigh, what is it with these cowboy SQL Devs? Why the fuck is this a pattern for anything?
New contract, new idiots, sigh.
EDIT: Had to change picture because Prod is different to Dev (but no dev has been done since release....smh)4 -
Ever had it when you’re on a project and your colleague is too slow so you basically have to do half the work?
Well yeah that’s my situation rn , guy too incapable of completing the project so i got to do most of his work.
I’m a bit of both I do front end and back end development mostly front end and that is what I prefer and I’m best at.
But I gotta do loads of back end work that a back end dev colleague should be doing
Smhhhh -
Ok its been an hour now trying to find a way to push a NEW commit to a MERGED branch. SMH! Help gitlab!7
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Just completed a web project for a fintech start up. We usually complain about clients’ demands and satisfactions. But look, some designers are full of surprises! SMH.
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I am back with one fresh and hot
my school doesnt allow libre office
the most ACTUAL security they have is windows defender and all the rest is restrictions smh7 -
Well, Uhm I have this instructor in Web Programming that throughout the whole semester, what he only thought was html and css. We never tackled PHP nor Javascript, SMH.
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Told my friends about this awesome app. It used to be my safe place earlier, but oh well... Kinda happy and sad about it at the same time. Hope they don't recognize my handle 😅1
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I hate when i change working code just to make it replace an input field on the page with a loading spinner effectively nullifying the value of the input and take 2 days to notice smh2
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The part with those goddamn change requests on top of the requirements that were never fucking stated correctly in the first place.
Hate that part, because the customer is always right!
Always right, my ass. Fucking asshole dickheads. -
That feel when your PHP page just decides to go blank , then you proceed to refresh 3 times and magic? It works. Smh
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I'm and Android and iOS developer. This of course means that I can help everyone who asks to write their app idea, seeing as how it's so easy and I don't actually need my day job...SMH1
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So I was on github today and this teenager came up to me and asked what I was doing but I was too chill to answer at that time.
My screen read "Forking in progress" and now he's been saying it over and over again and thinks it's funny.
*smh*1 -
Who would have guessed that after 1 hour trying to make some changes work with live reload, I figured out that Angular has some sort of "cache", I just had to restart the app to make it work, smh.
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Spent all not fixing someone's errors because they used XML and hard coded values, couldn't even work in the application I was going to work on1
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So do I want a quick test or a fast test? 🤔
Don't large companies like HP ever proofread their menus? This doesn't need users to test for them to realize it's bad. Smh.4 -
😂😂😂 mfw redid all my logging statements today to change sentences into keyvalue pairs (for log querying) and the script broke due to an invalid parameter reference in one of the debug statements.
Causing more errors trying to prevent errors smh -
CircleCI takes the cake for the most annoying of constant development advertisement campaigns on YouTube, change my mind.
I mean, the product is nice and everything, but what the hell? Why should *I* make sense of your changelog - just go and show what it does in practice! Ugh, why I must teach you marketing, CircleCI, smh...1 -
Stayed up all night to work up till 4am on a weekday to finish off some work stuff. Still, got told the next day you're exceeding deadlines smh.6
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Being in the "zone" and having to do some stupid shit immediately. Getting back into the "zone" is hard as fuck and then somebody questions me why it takes so long. Smh 😑
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Should I be guilty for turning to WP wheb customers ask for a simple CMS?
Given more time and resources, I'd definitely work on something myself but I feel like the widespread use of WordPress has set an expectation of a rapid outcome to customers, and I'm just not given enough time to work on something better.1