Dat ass

Me: my computer is dead, are you using the iMac?

Sister: your computer is dead because of the coding! Even my friend agrees that coding causes viruses

They're getting lazier and lazier. Smh

Windows. 😂😂

I think I'm losing my mind working in the IT Department. 😂 Sometimes the questions are UNBELIEVABLE!

Client: Hi, my computer is not working.

Me: Hi, what's wrong with it?

Client: IDK. It won't work.

Me: Alright, what do you see on your screen?

Client: Nothing!

Me: Nothing as in there are no icons on your desktop or black screen?

Client: Oh, black screen.

Me: Is your monitor on? Do you see a light on the power-on button?

Client: Yes, it's white.

Me: Ok, good. What about your computer? Is it turned on?

Client: Well, I never turn off my computer so I assume it's on. I leave it as is when I leave the office then log-in in the morning when I come in.

**At this point I realized this person doesn't even lock the computer until it locks by itself after a while.

Me: Ok please turn on your computer by pressing the power button with a thin line on it. It should turn white.

Client: Ok but as I said I don't turn it off so why should I turn it on? Did it turn off by itself?

Me: That can happen.

Client: Ok....oh wait, it working! Thank you so much. Sorry if I was a little pain. I am a little stressed out this morning.

Me: No problem. Glad it worked. Have a good day.

*Hangs up confused. I mean really confused. Smh

Maybe she should try "harder"🙄😂😂

Taken from Reddit 😂😂😂😂

Dark theme is soothing 😋

Taken from Quora

I was writing a Python code and my teacher saw. She knows nothing about programming so she asked if I was programming a bomb to blow up a building... Smh.

When you spend too much time doing JS...

my lamp doesn't seem to work... smh

Preparing for a coding interview at a startup and then you see stuff like this online smh.

Too accurate and precise,😀😀

😂😂Wrap it all up in try/catch

Make variables like "a" "b" "c" so its more easy to use. Smh.

Today at class

CS Friend : "Why is your Windows looks different?"

Me : " Oh its not Windows, im running Linux"

CS Friend : " What is Linux?"

Me : "..." smh

I need to hide myself, my computer, programming skills and computer knowledge from people. Then only, I will be safe..

Friend: Heeey, you're good with computers right?

Me: No! 😑

Friend: Come-on bro. I know you are.

Me: What do you want?

Friend: I want you to check and book flights for me for country X.

Me: Are you ok? How does this have anything to do with someone being good with computers and stuff?

Friend: Haha, see? You're good with computers. *starts laughing. Anyway, since you're good, you can find the best prices. I know you know how to search sites and how to find things online.

Me: WTF?!?!!! All, you have to do is type in your search. If you don't like the results, you simply refine it.

Friend: See, all this tech stuff I'm not really good at it.

Me: But you're good at searching for other things online, right? Do the same for your flights.

*Picks my laptop and walks away.
How can a young man not be able to search for flights online but knows how to use several gadgets. Nonsense.

Linux smh

SMH...

Hmm.... Gotta try this. 🤔 🤔

When you're just coding away in some Coffee Shop and some random guy/girl asks you

"are you trying to hack the wifi" smh

Unnecessary optimizations everywhere

Not his fault. 😂😂

smh the irony

Started using longer passphrases for logins, colleague starts to tell people I'm doing bad things because"no one needs a password that long"

I get reprimanded by my boss

How the hell does this even happen smh

Travelling salesman problem. 😂😂

PM: Hey Brod, I know your really busy refactoring to ES6 but I think our Ruby app broke, could you fix it?..
Me: Ask Tom, he's the only one here who knows ruby he wrote the app..
PM: I didn't want to interrupt his Skype call.
Me: he's not on Skype, that's his face, he's taking snapchats.
PM: oh, well I don't want to really interrupt that either.

SAY YOU HATE ME. JUST SAY IT.

When your school project team fails to deliver 3 times in a row because of their incompetency and they're the sole reason for your failing grades

Motherfuck

Newbie devs in 2018.

I just encountered this:

switch (boolean) {
case true:
…
break;
case false:
…
break;
}

Maybe this in real life would be called United States of America :P

I just heard a lady on the bus refer to an android tablet as a "fake ipad" ... Smh

This guy's face and voice annoys me so much. smh
"YOU KNOW, SHOULD JOIN THIS UDEMY COURSE"

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is a fork bomb in 2018. Thanks, Wikipedia.

JS memes are the best

<rant data-type="corny">

My Gf of 3 years left me for some douche. Thus said, she "removed" her feelings before kissing him. WTF! I didn't know feeling came like dependencies...

</rant>

Happy Christmas.

Client: I need html code for this search bar *attaches png*

Me: Ok. I will send you the code. HTML is just for front end views.

Client: ok. I will place an order, you can send it over *places order*

Me: *copy 6 lines of code from bootsnipp*
*make some changes*
*submit to client*

Client: Thanks but when I press the search icon it does not display the relevant records.

Me: *smh*

Didnt expect a reputable bank to do testing in this manner. Damn you Axis Bank, your system is supposed to be the best. Smh. 😩

This was my day,.. So my rant is in a form of a meme smh

So I found a HDD in a trash bin, plugged it to a USB, and I found this while browsing shit

Either its previous owner is hiding something or is just a lonely man and promptly forgot where his ahem... interesting stuff was stored.

I only backuped what I need and erased the damn thing btw, its now a spare drive

I once asked "in web development, what does CSS stand for?" some answered "Counter Strike Source"

Many of my friend wanted to be a "programmer" but instead they became "pro gamer"...smh

left a company over 3 years ago because they wanted me to dumb my code down so that the other devs could understand it. they wouldn't allow me to use classes in my code lol. anyway, 3+ years later figured I would try to log in to some of the admin panels... passwords still the same. MySQL dbs... passwords the same... cpanel... passwords the same. smh. even if I still worked there the passwords should be changed every so often. top notch security right there. funniest part is they don't even do backups or use VCS for the code. sad sad company. glad I'm no longer there. my personal projects have more security, redundancy and fail over lol

Oh boy, tech support scams!!

Some people really need to understand that devRant is not Facebook.. Smh

Fond this gem in a sample code at uni...
Noice 👌👌👌

Naming files smh...

*Me feeling productive on a day
Today I am going to start working on the complex part of my proect. Spends 1 hour deciding what all technologies to use , how to implement it, which design patterns to use .

Let's do it

*15 min later
Making some tiny css corrections

*3 hrs later
Making some tiny css corrections

*An eternity later
REALISED DIDN'T SET THE SIZE OF THE PARENT CONTAINER TO 100%

So much for thinking about being productive for today :(((

Now we know 😂😂👋

Ctrl+Q instead of Ctrl+W in Firefox. Yup happens every time.

Just found another forum message from someone that doesn't understand Java and JavaScript. They said JavaScript is the code that Java runs....I thought we fixed these people.

They have no idea.

Oh right! This function has only 1 line, this will be easy to fix.
Wait...
What!?
It's a mile long!

HR: What was the last project you handled?
Me: I worked on an internal system for my current company. It is basically an interdepartmental monitoring system.
HR: Ohh. Good. Do you have a copy of it? Can you show me how it works?
Me: ......

When you check after 3 months why the google+ button is not working.

oh boy.
Copy-Paste-Exception

IMO form is temporary, class is permanent 😎

Boss: don't worry about the architecture, it's an one-off project, just make it work...

2 months later...

Boss: hey, remember that one-off project? we need to add in a few more features... Also can we reuse that code for this new one-off project we have to do for this new client?

Person: How are you?

Me: *googles,,, 'how to respond to a how are you questions'*

Me to Me: What is happening to me???!! I need help!!!

Also Me: *Posts about it on devrant*

Idk how I fee about this, want to laugh so bad, but my info is in the hack smh

You can ask for my logic, but never my source code

Recruiters now a-days :
Recruiter : I noticed you have java script experience on your resume, we’re looking for a junior Java developer with 7 years of experience

Me : -_____________-

Awww 😂😂

Used to build custom computers... Used to get calls from pissed off people that their cup holder was poorly designed and broke off... One guy even called about it a second time... After we explained what this was for and replaced the part.... SMH

So I was strolling around some open source project on GitHub, this particular one had thousands of issues. A lot of them were closed by the maintainer with comments like "I can't reproduce it", "It's working fine for me", "Pretty sure you have some bad configurations on your machine", et cetera, smh

LONELINESS IS REAL
I am a freshman in a university ( about to complete my first year ) with a girl to boy ratio of around 1:10. During my first semester I was spending a lot of time with friends, chatting up with people and making connections. Due to this my productivity as a dev, if I am even capable of being called that decreased ( I was not a developer before joining , but I had an aim of being one , esp at least the best in my batch ) after 1st year. In retrospect I did nothing productive till 3 months out of 4 in my first sem and the guilt hit me hard . During the last month I had to catch up with my much neglected studies and all I had done was a little bit of html and css, and barely scratched the surface of js( please don't judge me for this :) , I had to start somewhere < although I learned a little bit of C++ > ). BUT I WAS A HAPPY CUNT, and had no sign of lonelines. Now during this sem , I had made progress ( learn js with es6 syntax and still learning, did c++ and extended my knowledge ) . Currently I am working on my Vue full stack app ( along with express and some websocket library , TBD ) < yeh I learnt some backend too > , and increasing my knowledge of dsa using clrs. Although my productivity has increased manifolds but I know feel the need of closure. I am kinda happy with the fact that I know a lot of people around here ( thanks to my extroverted 1st semester ) but sometimes it hits me hard at night when I don't have a monitor to drown my eyes and thoughts in. I have increased my academic performance too but I need someone to share and express my feelings with. I could have made a girlfriend earlier but now most of them are taken and I have lost touch. But believe me, all I want is a companion to spend these lonely days and night ( not talking about as a friend ). Staying away from home isnt easy you know...m :(

KUDOS TO DEVRANT FOR DEVELOPING A COMMUNITY WHERE PEOPLE LIKE ME CAN FEEL SAFE IN OUR NATURAL HABITAT. I COULDN'T HAVE EXPRESSED MY FEELINGS ANYWHERE ELSE EXCEPT IN A PERSONAL BLOG ( where no one would have read it )

PS1: I apologise if I sounded arrogant about any of my skill, I didn't mean that way. I ain't even that good, just kinda proud of myself a little for achieving something I couldn't have thought.

PS2: Any type of suggestions and help is much appreciated ( considering I am a college student who went into some serious development 4 months ago , I am pretty impressionable ;) )

PS3: Please don't confuse this with depression. I am HAPPY BUT LONELY

PS4: Is there a way so that I can change my username?

I've been an IT Director for a medium sized company for 11 years...
2 years ago we decided to custom develop an app for online ordering through a third party... This company quoted $36k, I told the team that I think it will be $100k and here is a solution that will do 90% of the needs for $50 a month per location... boss says he doesn't care if it's 200k he wants 100% of what we want and the ability to change it to perfectly fit our needs.... FFW to present... $36k app built by committee of 8 people.. = $400k... and counting for maintenance and adjustments. We now use that $50 a month solution as well to cover another need that would be too costly to code into the original app SMH... and now myself and my team are learning to code to support it internally because.... why would you just hire a qualified person... anyhow, I'm a few months into a self paced online bootcamp and loving it. So ... bright side found! Rant over

Met a fellow dev who still name variables as single letter characters. :/

The client said meeting was Monday at 9:30AM. My fault was forgetting to ask what Monday of the year it was. It's already past 11AM and still no sign of them. smh

!dev

So my friend (a girl) just posted a selfie, and someone (guy) asked in the comment “You haven’t take a shower?”. For fuck sake she’s just wearing casual clothes, smh

Lecture be like, I have provided some "working code" for you to modify.....

last week was the funniest week in my damn life.

so apparently, some of friend knew about i can make some mobile applications, lets just call her riri. and that week, riri's Instagram account got hacked.

whats so funny about it? she ask me to get her account back or she'll accuse me as the one who hacked her account.

when i ask her, how could i bring her account back, she replied with, "why would you ask me? you were the one who good at computer thingy"

SO?
if i can drive a car, you'll assuming that i can make a car and repair it myself?

haha, funny

"Wanted: Dangerous PHP Developer"

I edit on live during peak hours with no backups using basic Notepad over an unencrypted network. That dangerous enough?

One of a developer's worst nightmare:

their headphones that they use in work is broken/doesn't work

Don't trust Evangelists when they say product X is easy 85% of the time

I hate it when your non dev friend uses top notch hardware and I am stuck with a piece of shit junk

Auth Endpoint:

user name and password correct:
- response 200: with session key and profile info
user name and password incorrect:
- response 200: blank

smh

And I was wondering why I don't have any cups left downstairs smh

Customer: Do you need my computer password?

Me: Yes, I do. Why don't you write it down for me? *fills out work order form while she writes down her password*

Customer: Here you go *slides me sticky note with password on it*

Me: *usual spiel about computer repair stuff*

Customer: *leaves*

Me: *to Coworker* So this lady's password is "AmishForLife* (modified for security purposes).

Coworker: On her iPad?!

Me: And her computer, yes

Coworker: *laughs*

Me: I wonder how well that's working out for her...

Does balding scare the shit out of anyone else here? I am 19 and have started showing signs of male pattern baldness *sigh*. Just hope to make it to 25 without balding completely.

Did "Quick Look" on a loading gif at work today... And sat for around 30 seconds waiting. Then realised I was looking at the actual gif rather than Quick Look reading the file.

Laughed quite hard when I raised I was waiting for sod all! 😂

Yeah, today was one of those days. 😒

My computer thinks it has a sense of humor.

Was trying out React Native and creating a Hello World, I checked the file size and it was about 465mb, and I just thought it was nonsense, then I checked the size of the node module and it was 465mb...smh

god damn node modules man!

Today I couldn't decide if I wanted an h4 or a p so my fingers did the most intelligent thing available and went with "<hp>"

Smh

nothing like being interviewed by non-devs for a dev role. the words experience and samples go right out the window and all they care about is do you have a degree because a piece of paper proves you can code and not your actual code. smh

!rant
Wrote my first unit test. Strangely feels satisfying.

When you fix one bug and it causes several other bugs

Looking at open positions, noticed that some of the jobs I've seen a year ago are still looking for an engineer with 2+ years of experience.....
Could of taken anyone and taught him everything you need already..... You had a full year SMH

Having debates on order of operations. The one that is hot again is the 6÷2(2+1).
Programming and actual order of operations says the answer is 9, but everyone argues it is 1. Well before 1970 that was the case. SMH. Despite showing them the rules and work, they still say theirs is the correct way.
With programming and Excel formulas I deal with every day I do this without even pausing.

Recently found in a UX mockup note:

> greater than
< less than
>= greater than or equal to
<= less than or equal to

This girl left this note for developers....... #smh

Thanks to devrant , now I can be one those people trying to look social in one those so called meets with personal touch where everyone is scrolling their Facebook (still)

One of my project managers wanted a feature where the user can save over files without having to delete all information of the previous file and that they could go through previous versions. So I told him, "Okay, what you want is a versioning system." Then he proceeded to say no and describe the exact same thing as a versioning system. I wanted to yell at him that that's exactly what he wanted but kept my mouth shut because there is no point in continuing the conversation.

x comes out.
Team: hey let's rewrite our project using x!

4 months later..

y comes out.

Team: x is so crappy, let's rewrite our project using y!

3 months later...

z comes out...

Team: why did we ever use y, let's rewrite our project using z!

.
.
.

brave browser… smh.

i read through the whole homepage and you put "open source" at the bottom

next time please start with that

Elon Musk getting charged for his 420 joke. People can't take jokes anymore smh

!rant

When people listen to a complete story and then ask who the villian was..

DEVS : It's like reading JavaScript and then asking what is "this"

Ok so we went to a graphic class seeking graphic designers for our game.

We pitchted our 3d fast paced speed running game. With highscores and shit. (We only have a week to create this game)

This fucking moron in the back of the class starts to rise his hand asking:

Is this a MMORPG?

Me: No this is no fucking MMORPG?!

Him: But i only want to design to a MMORPG

Me: Well we are not doing a fucking MMORPG..

Him: Can you change it to an MMORPG please?

Me: WTF NOOO!

Him: Okey you sure?

Me: YES... smh

Like why the fuck shall we change an idea to something litrally impossible to make in a week and that will fucking crash and burn like every Michael Bay movie ever...

My department boss

Boss: Explain to me what your working on.
Me: Just this thing in JavaScript.
Boss: Whats JavaScript ?

SMH...

Most people choose Whatsapp for its lightweight-ness and Facebook decided to make it fat with video statuses. Smh.

My dad uses Microsoft Powerpoint as a graphic design tool. smh.

`npx create-react-app blah`
`cdls blah && npm audit`

63 vulnerabilities.
good fucking job.

To be fair, they're all minor, but they're all *exactly* the same, caused by the same freaking package. Update your dependencies already!

------

`npm i --save formik && npm audit`
68 vulnerabilities, three of them critical.

ugh.

Now I have to register on oracle website with a my company name and work phone before i can download jre or jdk. That's it boys and girls. You're unemployed? No minecraft for you!

Today at work I found this in the code...

if (argCount < 2 && argCount > 3) {
// log invalid arg count
return;
}

And this passed code inspection and has been sitting there unnoticed for about a year and a half... 😂

Whether it's mixing up and with or, or forgetting a semicolon, we've all done it at some point! 😊

Project Manager comments on all my on-going tickets "any updates?"

And the project manager gets awarded "most productive"

While the tickets I've been assigned can't be closed in just a day

smh

When you're signing up for an account on a government site not to be named in this rant and they limit your password to 6 alphanumeric characters and no special characters... Smh

Facebook now has a "take a break" action 😅 SMH

Apparently, companies want UI devs under the name of Full Stack Developer. Smh.

I fucked again...
This is second time I've accidentally executed sudo poweroff on test server via ssh assuming it was my machine :(

It's all because my mind was not stable as we were testing few issues on test server and at the same time from client side someone was doing the changes from Admin side(Wordpress) and we saw menu and few text got disappeared.
Such a bad day. smh

Python and java tests in college? Both on paper, so you can only write your code once, using a pen, and you can't debug it or modify it. Awesome right... Smh

Anyone else hate it when your client knows jack shit and asks you for something that they think is easy but for you is a weeks worth of shit? Yeah it sucks balls

Naming variables with meaningful names

When you are trying to be supportive to a colleague but he sees your act as condescension on your part. BITCH I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOU, BUT UNFORTUNATELY I HAVE TO WORK WITH YOU SO PLEASE KNOW THE BARE MINIMUMS TO DO THE TASK. Also he complained to others that he was offended . He was tryna learn react before knowing es6 and nodejs , doesn't know asynchronous and was strongly suggesting that our whole fucking team move to React and I just suggested some topics to look to. I carried his ass once , and seems like now will have to carry it once more :(

When you're both a designer and a programmer at the same time

When your boss is a weeb and is always watching anime or trying to convince you to watch it while you're working. Smh.

My parents are more distracted by cell phones than me? ....

A few days ago, I went to a job interview where the recruiter (boss) expected me to fill a position that normally pays $30 an hour elsewhere for $10 an hour. As if that wasn't enough, he acted like he was being very generous with the $10 an hour because I'm a college kid. Smh.

so today we used putty and coded the exercise within the university's server. i wanted to use "tree" to see all the files better cause thats what i normally use. turns out i had to install it.

i type in "sudo apt-install tree"

screen: no root priviledges. <university_login> is not included in root.txt. this will be reported immediately.

i forgot i needed root priviledges smh i just wanted to see my files better XD

"These Monty Python references in Python tutorials are hilarious." Said no one ever.

Was interested to learn about OpenGL and WebGL. Just found out no fucking drivers exist for my graphics card on Ubuntu.
WTF AMD !!! Atleast provide some compatibility for your product if I am purchasing it !!!

So, I got my very first gaming laptop on March 2015. Took a break from the almighty PC Master Race.

It's an Asus ROG G751JT. It was doing great, running my favourite games at 60FPS on high-ultra settings.
Few months after purchasing it, I've been getting a lot of BSODs with the same error (IRQL_NOT_LESS_OR_EQUAL)

As told by the guys at a local forum, I was told to try replacing the RAMs and I was stupid enough, I did. It has 4x 8GB HyperX Impact DDR3L.
The error still won't go away until I changed my SSDs. Which worked for a while until a week ago.

Getting the same BSOD countless times. This time I decided to directly talk to an expert, which is a friend of mine and guess what. It was the motherboard after all. Spent a lot of $$$$ to fix ONE BSOD.

Now I'm stuck with an Asus T100TF for about a month because I had to send it for warranty claim.

smh jfc anasmy y u so stupid for a year and a half. 10/10 worst experience (since it involved a lot of money)

What do you think of my stupidity? Comment below (10 marks).

I tried to look for ParrotSec on Google because a friend of mine told me about it and instead of typing in what I should I typed, I was off by one key and had actually typed in "ParrotSex".

My laptop's back is rugged and rough so I can't apply any sticker...
Imagine the horrorrrrrr

Email from boss: Have a nice weekend everyone!

Colleague A's reply: The weather is gonna be bad...
PM: Oh then A, you can stay at home and make sure the sites are working over the weekend!

5 seconds later boss replied:
Oh enjoy watching the sites then!

I can tell you two are from the same pile of turd *smh*

Client doesn't have any idea what pages/links they want for their website. Same client told me to call the guy who recommended me to him for the project brief...wtf...I mean WTF!!!

When you read "worst interview erection"

smh

Don't you just hate it when you're getting fat because you're a developer who is lazy to go to the gym then start developing some messed up health problems and always feel shitty. Smh

Saw this comment on an issue against npm.

2 bugs fixed... Now time to count the newly added ones 🤦‍♂️ smh

Depression is real!!!

How many Gmail accounts have your non-techy relatives created because they keep on forgetting their password and shit? Everytime they have a new Android Phone, they also have a new Gmail. Smh.

"we have add a lot of cost partly due to currency exchange rate, but we also added some services and servers, we'll have a meeting and see what we can cancel or re-arrange."

So now....
- JIRA is gone
- SEO tools are gone
- budget for site security & SSL undecided
- Servers are too expensive.
$800 for twelve 2-24gb ram servers with backup, I call that bargain

Can't wait to see the websites falling apart. Now where are my popcorns?

Hi devRant!

I take a CS class in the UK and can not believe how people use technology. Almost everyone is using smartphones and stuff but somebody can't get out of fullscreen in chrome.

He thought he broke the computer smh

It's a Friday morning I'm tired as hell after a hard week. trying to plough through all my work earphones in, music really loud. Sales guy in the office tries to talk to me i didn't hear him as my earphones were in he then says "you need to turn your music down or turn it off if you can't hear us" he said this in this serious tone. *music gets louder* to drown his noise out.

New policy at work!!

Now we have to submit a Doctors certificate as proof if someone is taking sick leaves for more than 2 days or if someone is taking sick leave on Friday or on Monday(Seems trust issues LOL).

SMH!

20 Minutes of: "WTF is this shit not working? I just imported a fresh database! Why can't I log in to this?"

Followed by: "Oh, I'm on the wrong server."

With a helping of: "Let me tell my devRant friends about this."

Dumb ass

I was looking at some poorly written code today in a project and I was curious to see who wrote it. I blamed it and found I had wrote it 6 months ago! smh Well... at least I know I'm getting better! I ended up refactoring it to use better code patterns.

Paid reviews (smh)

We have a course in our uni where we're given a client and are supposed to make a product for him.
> Only, our client happens to be a startup guy.
> He's already mentioned that his app is worth 'multi-millions' countless times.
> And has already given us a job offer in his startup.
> And has offered to pitch the app to investors if we do it right and split the profit (He seemed almost convinced Google would acquire it).

All of it before doing any market research, testing, business planning or prototyping himself.
Yet people ask me why i hate on the hyped up startup ecosystem smh :/

So ive been working on a piece of code since Thursday. Its roughly 1000 lines. Since Friday I've been debugging it.... turns out forgot a curly fucking brace, which keep some code locked in an if statement, which was causing data to be lost... i was working on the object because i thought my struct was incorrect this entire fucking time. Curly brance.. smh line 682

Fun Story: My first official project was related to system files security. In first meeting project manager was talking about Macros and OLE i had no idea what the heck he was saying.just kept noding
Took us 2 months to complete the project now it has been deployed and working perfectly
Told my manager about this during final one on one meeting and he couldnt believe me,he still laughs about it everytime we meet

So testing starts in 2 weeks ... lets change the api and micro manage the UI before that 🙄

Internet Explorer 😂😂

Got a mail in the morning that said:

Emergency Fire Drill at 3 o'clock.

SMH

My new mobile development teacher just admitted he has never learnt git or any other VCS, I asked him what he does when shit happens and he just said,

"I just have a folder for each version backed up to Google Drive"

This is the guy that's teaching us? Surely as a teacher you should be setting a proper example and using good practises....?

Rant time. So, me and a few classmates finally finished and handed in a website for a web development class a few days ago. Before we handed it in, we had a meeting with the professor to discuss what we still needed to do.

Us: Are we missing anything?
Prof: Nope. Looks good. Just make sure you have stylus implemented.
Us: Cool, thanks.

We got our grade back today. We didn't do as great as we'd hope, and here's one of the comments that the professor left us:

"You forgot to implement all of the CRUD operations. -4"

WHAT THE **** IS THAT? We asked you if we were missing anything, and you said no. You reminded us about stylus, which we looked at ONCE in a 13-week class, but you failed to remind us that we needed all of the CRUD ops?

Fuck graphics cards for only providing 1 hdmi port and then 200 displayport connections. Like every of my monitors have one. Smh

how i feel every Windows 10 update: WHAT THE FUCK WINDOWS 10 WHAT THE F U C K

I finally got my new Smartphone after going there personally to the courier

Seriously the couriers were lazy piece of shits and they can't even deliver to my address when it's perfectly valid.

Like couriers from my local PO and from Lazada/Taobao can even get to my house, what the fuck

So I just recently found out there's a local idol group named MNL48 in here.

Basically bringing the seiyuu/J-Pop culture in the Philippines.

...

Maybe I should've became an idol instead of a senior high school programmer :/

I am doing some freelance work for a client who is thankfully mindful about security. I found out that they are so strict with their access because they had a huge data breach last year.

Today I was given access to their repo for connecting to their AS400. In the docker file the username and password were included and were the same for dev and prod. They also are performing no sql injection prevention. They are just joining strings together.

smh.

Why hire a Native iOS Developer when you're going to let him develop an iOS app to look EXACTLY like its Android counterpart?

There's hybrid and cordova for that if you want your apps to look and feel exactly the same.

Can't we all just agree to appreciate the distinct differences in UI for both platforms? Navigation especially? Copy context not UI.

I work as a consultant and my company wanted to send me on an engagement at a client who's main product is a well known online coding course. Their whole product is teaching lay people how to code. They decided the night before I was going to start that they didn't want me consulting with them because I "didn't have a CS degree."🤔

(PS: Their head of curriculum was actually a mentor and teacher of mine instrumental in my becoming a programmer...)

SMH

Does anyone here just wake up and feel shitty for absolutely no reason why ? When I say absolutely no reason means none whatseover from previous day etc . I wanna know if it's just me 😅

The award for the worst GDPR popup goes to....

Headhunter: "For this new role you would be the first developer in the company responsible for both the back and frontend, you will also have to test your deliverables, give support to users and report to the..."

*CLICK*

Had to hang up on dat shit 🙉

18 weeks of requirement changes just to cancel the project. Smh

A 'senior' dev just questioned us (by question, I mean scold) when I suggest writing some additional information regarding db patching scheme of our project on our Wiki, just thought it might be useful for other possibly new devs later.

Apparently that would be 'spoon- feeding' them and it is totally NOT GOOD.

Smh.

I want to try something new: Code with libre office.

I hate making things for friends and having no one use it... smh.

I'm so fucking done today.

The VB project I ranted about earlier was apparently just the top of the iceberg of madness that is my workplace.
So the same ninjacoder who managed to code himself as a dependency in the VB project apparently had his greasy little fingers in a bunch of other projects around here.
A script for automating new workstation installs that went haywire last week had traces from this Omnipotent mastermind all over it. He got us this time with static urls and zero errorhandling.
Well played sir.
Getting so done with undocumented projects that I have to dig through several hours just to find and fix.

I just fucking hate it when a really important website (Govt. service registration) is pathetically designed and developed. They're literally the government they can't even fucking hire a good development team to dev a website that millions of people are gonna use everyday!?

Empty try-catches are so frustrating. At least log the damned error!

PM schedules deployment on a Friday... I address my concern about deploying on Fridays, I am assured it won't happen again since it is a special occasion. Next week's Friday... "Guys we need the remaining tasks on jira by today, client wants the app on production by today". smh

Deleted a whole repo after a client started renegotiating a closed contract. smh

I guess someone has been listening to Migos while coding. smh

Just a couple of rants before i begin tonight's Great Silence:

Dev rants:

1) The only thing I don't like about my new job this far is the fact that they take too long to let me make a repository in our company's Azure DevOps account. How am I supposed to collaborate with my teammates then?

Well sike you guys then, I made a private repo with just our teammates while we tie up the pipeline to the Azure DevOps.

2) I really would want a compile-time Kodein instead of Dagger. I really do.

3) So you say without irony that coding is an evil modernist profession and real trads do not code? You diss me for my choice of lipstick (actually just matte of my natural lip color)? You call yourself a Roman Catholic Traditionalist when all you did was go to TLM in a three piece suit for a couple of months and say the Rosary in Latin? Bitch I out-trad you! I chant the Divine Office, 1962, pre-1955, and pre-1910. Throw in Hymni Antiqui and a couple of Ambrosian chants, you are on! I went to an iconography class, an Ignatian Retreat, and I am about to have a temporary profession with the Third Order of Carmel. I belong to the FSSP Confraternity and the Confraternity of the Most Holy Rosary, and I founded my own Confraternity too. I am a godmother to several children. What are you even?

I know I have issues, that is why I am on therapy. But you don't even have a spiritual director, while my SD and I are so close, his code is now almost as good as mine.

I can sing Gregorian chant for hours while most of the schola just faint. I have a formator and she makes me follow the Rule of St. Albert. I go to Mass everyday and to Holy Hour every other day. I can lecture you the subtle differences between the Benedictine Office and the Carmelite Office. I do my research. Most priests and bishops don't even know what I know about Sacred Tradition and the Magisterium. You do not even know what Hispanic Privilege means. So what makes you think that Googling a couple of Peter Maurin pastebins and quoting The Josias (of which I am an avid reader) makes you a better traditionalist than me?

Don't lecture me on charity, I have been enduring your senseless gossip for months! I can understand that you cannot afford to give money to the poor because of your low paying job but constantly hounding your mother still sick with cancer for the little money you lent her once, well you're such a cheapskate.

You have a shit interior life and you do such a shit job, you almost got fired. How many Rosaries do you say every week? How many communions have you done un-sacrilegiously? Probably none because all you do is subtweet people all day. So don't lecture me about lipstick colors, hair colors, my choice of agnostic boyfriend, my shades, and my choice of career. And especially DO NOT INSULT SOFTWARE DEVELOPERS and their profession!

Fuck you, medievalist fetishist. Who do you think you are! Go break your back in the fields without clean water and electricity while I harvest crops with IoT. You can go back in time and become the most erudite priest, and you will still won't be able to beat me. I don't wanna see you subtweeting on Twitter. Devs like me made that shit. Stop using http://, begin using pigeon:// instead!

Fuck you, even atheist script kiddies make better trads than you.

4) Ever since I tasted UberRIB I never wanted to try the other architectures. MVI started to pale in comparison.

5) CI pipeline broke ever since I set some secret API keys that are on gitignore. I have a feeling that it's gonna be a loooong day tomorrow.

Wrote a small fix to some css and asked the production guy to pull it...

Prod: pull what?
Me: the prod branch.
Prod: from where?
Me: the only git server we have.
Prod: Oh yea let me go and download the zip, give me like 5 minutes I need to open chrome.
Me: (smh)

He's been unpacking copies of the prod branch by hand for months

Best : Finally getting my first internship after teaching myself how to code.

Worst : Was a preeeeeeetty shitty internship. I know you'll say all internships are hard BUT, this one was on another level.

Does a starting CEO have to be a millionaire?

Asus does not know how to implement a button that is also a fingerprint scanner,my phone keeps closing all apps cuz my fingers are sweaty(the button isnt actually clickable it just senses...My sweat smh)

It sucks when you forgot to bring a hoodie in a freezing dev team cave.. on a monday smh

WRITING CODE ON PAPER...smh

I know many people wrote about this already, but writing code on paper is one of the worst things of a CS class. I’d rather get a computer with no internet access and use a notes app to write code instead of having to write everything by hand. It takes so much more time that you could spend thinking about the problem. Not only that but also my hand gets tired of writing...ughhhh

I need to convince my teacher and the school to switch to writing code on computers! I will not loose this battle ahah

Its amazing how many people call themselves programmers yet cannot figure out the usefulness of print/log statements. 🤦‍♂️

Debugging a previously employed intern code for hours (poorly written JavaScript). Found out they were comparing the exact string value of the input boxes. #smh

2.0 of our app releases on a Friday smh

So. This job gets alot more interresting by the day.
The clients at this place use a software to monitor machines on a Day to day basis. We've gotten tons of complaints about the software from clients thats on Win10, that its a buggy mess.
Nothing we can do about it, its 3:rd party.
Software is currently on version 14.0, and is non complient with win7, if not being ran on v13.
I've talked to the devs and told them to fix it, since its such a huge issue, but they don't know whats causing it and holding out for v15.
So for users who can't stand the buggyness of v14 on win10 we have to recomend downgrading to win7 and running this garbage software on v13.

Client asks for a Facebook page setup. I find out not only do they have no one to manage the FB page, no one in the company even has a personal FB account.

Got 8 tickets today and 7 of them we already done in production. Are all PMs lazy or am I just lucky??

So I was asked to do a card redesign A/B Test
The results came in
Redesign performs 20% worse
PM’s report says “no significant difference, redesign approved”
He just wanted his redesign to be published
smh, why trouble with A/B Test when results are known faster than during elections in North Korea

Alright let's get real and finish this module
* 5 mins later *
Ooh look, a new js framework. I wonder what does this do hmm..

I am literally tasked with debugging why we have a 1.98 seconds lag on our site running on kubernetes. Smh

1.Working on a repo's 20 day old version without pulling the changes first
2. Then blaming me to not tell him
3. Ultimately sending me a see screenshot of his code to incorporate in my code ( which he himself didn't write, but asked a coworker to do it)

WTF DUDE. Atleast you could have realised your mistake and not blamed me for it

When your PM asks if you can just change the file from JSON to CSV to convert it smh

When an Oracle procedure from commercial software uses very meaningful variable names...not! SMH

!rant
After 4 - 5 months of learning webD, I am trying to build my first fullstack web application (simple chat one ).

My stack :
FRONTEND:
Vue.js + Materialize

Backend:
Express ( handling routes )
Mongoose/MongoDB ( Database )
Socket.io ( web sockets for real time connection )
JWT

Had dreamt of this 2 months ago where I built a basic front end using html and css, and now porting it to Vue is like a breeze.

Wish me luck and let's hope it doesnot become one of the unfinished projects. ( My university semester exams are coming up , would have to complete this as fast as possible ). I am also learning DSA + STL and aim to learn basic python syntax before holidays so that I can focus my time on ML during them. It's so fucking overloaded that I have my doubts ::((

Co-Dev: The table doesn't have pagination. You said if I use your code it will have search bar and pagination.
Me: Did you initialize datatable? (we are using JQuery DataTables)
CD: No. Do I have to? How can I do it?

I. can't. even.

The Amazon Music app is so dumb. Instead of simply saying that it can't find anything for your search, it exclaims that they're experiencing difficulties, smh.