credits to @mattiasgeniar

Poor things!

Why do some female programmers place emphasis on their gender?

It's always: female programmer... Female web developer... Female android dev... Female Sysadmin... Etc

I mean, you don't see males saying "I'm a male programmer."

Female programmers aren't rare anymore. More and more of them are starting to program, so what's the point of emphasizing your gender?

For some reason, females think it's "special" to be a female programmer.

How does your gender relate to your skill?

Lifehack of the day. Hope this works for ads too

GF: Why are working so late?
Me: Because no matter what I do, everything is working correctly.
GF: What....

The only career when you have to work late because everything is working like it should (cannot reproduce an issue).

My new nintendo switch

Everyday i used to spend an hour in the morning reading emails.

Until i made a script that reads all mails, parses to urgent/priorities/meetings etc. Then shows me a dashboard of everything. 1 hr turned to 20mins max.

Then i made a chatbot out of it and now i just talk to it everytime and gives me the rundown.

Gave me so much time to code instead of reading fucking emails.

and they say programmers don't have a sense of humor. the company said to buy some motivational posters for the meeting room. this is what we came up with.

Hilarious :')

juniors

Sometimes it goes wrong

"The server is flooded!"

"With requests? DDoS?"

"No."

got it somewhere on the net

When your drinking buddy is an AI by Google

Are you sure you want to ...

Not a rant but it's Friday and thought people could use a laugh.

When I was a teen we used AOL and for those who don't know, it was a test of patience to log on. It had to dial in, actually connect, and then you hoped it wouldn't disconnect for whatever reason. Just getting it to connect would take 30 min or more some days. After you were logged in you would get an audio of *Ding Ding*, followed by "Welcome!" and if you had email, "You've got mail!"

So, I decided to play a prank on my dad by swapping the Welcome sound file with the Goodbye sound file. He was waiting for a long time to connect, getting so frustrated. Then it finally does and he hears:

*Ding Ding*
"Goodbye!"

And loses it. Then he notices he is still online and calms down, confused.

I told him about it later but my brother and I got a good laugh out of it.

when someone change the syntax of the code

I try not to get annoyed with the users for asking for help with the UI on stuff I taught them. I have to ask for help every time I fax something.

Two years ago: company exec (Mac fan) buys a Surface Pro to show off our .NET application to customers as he travels. Hands it to me (I build releases) and I iron out a few Win 8 bugs since we'd always used Win 7 before. Get it set up, get to like the device a little, he takes it home... and returns it within 24 hours because he didn't mesh well with Windows. (Again, Mac user.)

8 months later he buys a Surface Pro again. I install our latest release, verify that everything is working as expected with hardware we normally don't use, and give him a controlled setup that will just work when he's at a customer site. Once again, he returns the Surface within 24 hours because he can't get used to Windows.

At least we verified Windows 8 compatibility, I guess.

Who else think this is awesome

When your shower does more commits than you

Recipe for Ice Coffee:
1: Make Coffee
2: Start coding
3: Forget you made Coffee
4: Drink it cold