Dear customer: I appreciate you want to call and chat in 20 minutes, but an agenda and meeting *REQUEST* would be nice.

I'm probably not the first, but ...

template <typename T>
using $ = std::shared_ptr<T>;

I mean... C'mon!

Boost is C++ run amok.

Production: "Do you have [device]?"
Me: "Yes. I'm implementing the software that controls [device]."
Production: "Ok, that's the only [device] in the building, and I need to ship it to meet a deliverable."
Me: "... Does he want it to do anything?"
Production: "We'll build you another one."
Me: "When?"
Production: "... Eventually."

Software Development: The art of spinning straw into gold when you don't have any straw.

Stop. Debug time!

Get to work, turn on PC, discover update you scheduled for 10pm Friday didn't finish, sit here for an hour and a half waiting for it to finish.

Never have I felt more like a pirate than when I wrote a copy constructor for a class called "Args".

Had a new co-worker I was responsible for training. I am several years his junior, but he is working with a new language/framework I'm fluent in. Day 4 into training, he walks into my cubicle, sidles up next to me, I look up at him, he farts loudly, then (without seeming to realize what he's done) he proceeds to launch into a long-winded question about coding best practices.

If this were an isolated incident, I'd have written it off, but the dude did it again when he came to my desk and asked me to open a jar of pickles for him, and many times over during casual conversation.

RPG Maker 95 – though I didn't know it at the time. Then it was just a slew of personal projects requiring different technologies — autodidacts represent!

So... Should we do an anonymous login, non-denominational, stack (of gifts) exchange?

"I have a lot of experience with 'Programs'."

- A customer, referring to our flagship equipment automation, and data acquisition/processing software suite.

#!rant

Boss sent me an email at midnight, and I was working voluntary O/T, so I responded. This morning, he brought me this...

I give MS a lot of cr@p for terrible API documentation, but even Google's API docs are pretty terrible to read through.

Seriously, guys... Your docs shouldn't read like an endless page of search results.

There's an old adage that says: "Beware the programmer with a screwdriver"

... but I've got to say, it's nice to have people so curious about what I'm doing for a change.