Do all the things like ++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatarSign Up
Get a devDuck
Rubber duck debugging has never been so cute! Get your favorite coding language devDuckBuy Now
Search - "sure you do"
Boss: we need a html clone of our WordPress website, how many days do you need to recode?
Me: Sure, I need a week
wget --mirror --convert-links --adjust-extension --page-requisites --no-parent URL21
A client called
Client: Hello Mr. Can you come to our office today?
Me: Yes sure
In fews hours I was there
Client: Check this email we are getting every day
It was email from spammers who asking to redesigning their website because it was not responsive
Me: 🧐Thinking ‘valid point !’
Me: So what you need me to do for you then?
Client: We need you to redesign the site
Lol - thanks spammers for bringing in new client13
Client :- The app is slow on my device, please fix.
Developer :- Working fine on all the devices I tested, are you sure?
Client :- Yes, it's very slow. I can't accept this app.
Developer :- (Recompiles the same codebase again) Here, try this, optimized a lot of calls, took me entire day to do so.
Client :- Yes, it is working fast now
Developer :- (evil laughs)15
HR: I need a Kotlin guy to fix something quick (in a room with 7 people)
First Koltin guy: I can do it tomorrow, I have a delivery today, maybe he can do it? (me)
HR to me: you a Kotlin guy? Can you do it?
Me: yeah sure, what is "it"?
HR: ffs don't ask too many questions, "it" is Kotlin, can you do it?
Me: ok fine, what team? project? who do I need to speak to so I can get details?
HR: omg you ask so many questions!! Fuck it I'll ask someone else!
Me: How am I supposed to fix "it" if I have no idea what "it" is?
HR: leaves the room
Fucking useless piece of shit!30
Client: I want all cookies blocked on my computer.
Me: Are you sure? Some things won't work if i do that. Like using online banking.
Client: I don't use it, so it's fine.
*Two weeks pass. I have to come back and see three bankcards laying on the table*
Client: I'm not able to use online banking anymore. Can you fix it?
Come on! You pay me to give advice and help out with problems. The least you could do is listen.10
Morning conversation with wife.
As she puts a stainless steel water bottle on the counter
She: can you make a water bottle for our daughter before school.
Me: I'm not sure, does it have to look like this one, I don't have any training working with metals. But if I have full control over the design. I may be able to come up with something.
She: that not funny, why do you always do that.
Me: do what, that is exactly what you told me to do.
A little later.....
She: I'm running late, can you make sure "everything" up stairs is unplugged..... (She means her curling iron)
I can't wait until she comes home.........;-)25
Senior : You sure you can do this job?
Me : Yea, it's easy, I just need to write a simple subroutine.
Senior : *Still sceptic* You sure?
Me : Yea of course.
Senior : *Walks away after sighing*
Me : What was that all about?
Fellow Dev : *Looking at my screen* Dude, you really need to start using the dark theme on your editors. It makes you seem more of a professional developer.
*We both burst into laughter* 😂8
My friend: OMG OMG OMG My laptop is dead!
Me: What do you mean it's dead? It doesn't even turn on?
My friend: Nooo, it does nothing?
Me: Are you sure it's plugged in?
My friend: Yesss
Me: You sure?
My friend: Yess, it's actually plugged into a multiple socket thingy...
Me: And that thing is plugged in to the wall..?
My friend: Well duh!
Me: And did you turn the switch on?
My friend: Of course I....oh, wait!! Never mind!!!!!
Dentist: Did you follow the advice I gave you in our last sitting ?
Me: Sure did!
Dentist: Great, let's see!
Dentist: Your teeth look horrible.
Me: I did exactly what you advised me to do!
Dentist: You brushed your teeth twice a day every day?
Dentist: Yes, I told you to brush before bed and in the morning!
Me: That's exactly what I did! Sometimes it was hard to fulfill both conditions at the same time, so I had to brush twice, but I managed to do it on the other days!
Dentist: Fucking programmers.2
Me at the office, Boss calling me by phone..
Boss: Hi, I need a new Build of XX Android app for another client.. set the base address at x.x.x.x and send me an APK file
Me: OK, I will do it.
Boss: can you do it in 5 minutes?
Me: Sure, it's simple..
Android Studio: You think it's simple !
* Indexing Files
* Sync Project
* Gradle Build
* Some f* tasks
Oh kill me now !!5
Boss: Can you do Task#1?
Me: Ok *start coding, building..
*15 minutes later
Boss: Hey, that client need some fixes and it's urgent, please do Task#2
Me: sure, *switch to the new task
*30 minutes later
Boss: anything new about Task#1, I told you to do it almost one hour ago..
Me: Oh sorry, I forgot my other 3 hands at home..
Me: Because those fuckening two hands are working on Task#2, which is urgent as you said..
Boss: *walks away..18
Client: Saw you did some cool logos...can you design us a logo as well?
Me: sure, do you have any ideas already?
Me: Whats the name of the company/project?
Client: We don't know yet.
Me: FUCK YOU!!!18
A: "Hey let's move our server rack to this room tomorrow so we can set it up."
Me: "sure, 11:00?"
A: "11:00 it is"
Me: arrives 11:00, waits till 12:00.
A: arrives at 12:00 "sup man, sorry I'm late, let's do this"
Me: annoyance-level 6/10 "sure... let's go"
A: "hold on, this guy wants something"
Me: waits another 45 minutes.
I just went to cafeteria.
Fuck you, wasting almost 2h.
I stood up early for this bs.9
Windows 10!! WHAT THE FUCKING WHAT do you think you're doing?? Why am I getting a message saying admin has blocked my access to Services when I AM THE FUCKING ADMIN! And I sure as hell didn't block me!!!!!!!!13
Coworker: "Hey do you have 30 minutes? We should debug my broken code together."
Me: *slightly interested in the project he's working on* "Sure, let's do it."
Coworker: *explains the problem for 10 mins*
Coworker: "OH here's the problem!" *type type type* *git commit -am 'Fixed'* "Done."
Me: *wants 10 minutes of life back*9
*sitting doing a CS assignment*
*girl walks up to me*
G: Hey so how many countries have you been to?
M: 😶😯 Uhhh I'm not sure let me think
G: *rambles on about what countries she's been to*
G: Anyways, what I really wanted to ask, how do I connect to the wifi?
Don't push to prod today!
But if you do,
Make sure you
Test it all the way!
Happy holidays, y'all!4
Client : your design is not cool. See this ^
*showed me some pretty neat designs pattern*
Me: which type do you want for your application.?
Client : All are pretty cool. Isn't it?
Me : Yes. But you do not need all of them. Right?
Client : Yes.
Me : So, which one.
Client : I'm confused But, this will do.
Me : Sure?
Client : Yes, very much.
After 3 days.
Client : you know what, earlier one was simple one but, best one. Easy to understand. This is (new design) making it complex. I need previous one.
Me : (I knew you'll say that, a**hole.) Just go to setting and select theme section to earlier version.
Client : thank you man.
Me : (You are red listed in my book you a**hole. Say anything else to add/edit and then see.) You are welcome.6
Notepad++: An update package is available, do you want to download it?
Me: Maybe next time
Notepad++: Sure, that's what they all say4
Coworker: hey man, do you know what is the limit for z-index on CSS?
Me: not sure but I think it is the signed int limit.
Coworker: the waaat?
Me inside: GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!!!!!!7
I: "Do you have the right version for your architecture?"
I: "Did you download the 64 bit or the 32 bit version?"
He: "I'm not sure but I think it was sth. between 40 and 50!"19
Pro tip: NEVER work when you’re tired, and if you absolutely HAVE to, make sure you do it in your TIRED branch.10
Just reduced 900 lines of horrible code into 106 lines of less horrible code..
QA: do those 106loc really do what the 900loc did ?
QA: are you sure?
Me: NO. I was lying. Maybe it does. Maybe it doesn't. Maybe you should run it and find out.
QA: *immediately releases for prod*3
Client : hey there is a minor change in the iOS app.
Me : got it. Done. Sending the build now.
After 5 mins.
Client: heh, few more UDIDs. Can you add them ?
Me : yep. Sure.
After 10 mins.
Client : Hey, need a small change. The text field need to be little bit left.
Me : ugh. Okay. Will do it. Sending another build.
After 1 hr.
Client : hey, need a small help.
Me : Offline.9
Dev : Can you change permissions for conf file please ?
Me : Yeah sure, what permissions set do you need ?
Dev : 667
Dad : Stop playing games so much
Me : I'm working on a project dad, not playing games
Dad : Then what do you call that *points to my 2nd screen on the side*
Me : That's the project, i'm making that game
Dad : Sure you are
Me : *changes bunch of stuff* see...
Dad : Ok i believe you *leaves the room*5
Friend: i need to do a game for my final project, can you help me out?
Me: sure, what language?
$sis: hey $me, can you help me?
$me: Uhm, sure, what's wrong?
$sis. The printer doesn't work..
$me: what does it say?
$sis: what do you mean?
$me: like, when you try to print something, what does it say?
$sis: uhm... idk...where should it say something
$me: On your screen you should be getting an error message right?
$sis (now getting irritated for some reason): no it doesn't..
$me: okay, let me check it out
*I walk to the printer with my sister's laptop and plug in the usb*
*Select printer > click print*
$me: was it also saying this before
At this point im already getting a bit fed up
$me: are you sure this port is working
$sis: yes, I am sure
Okay, check other ports just to be sure, also don't work.
After about 15 minutes of debugging, turns out she managed to unplug the cable on the printer...
And all I got was a "o thanks"
Backend internship interview
They: Can you reverse the given string without using pointers? (C++)
Me: Yeah, sure
*Then I start explaining how I am gonna approach the problem and such*
They: Ok, we understand that you can do it, now can you write a front-end that has a couple of routes. Also, these routes should have some sort of list views because we want you to print information **attention** that you are going to parse from Amazon inside those list views.
Me: *dumbfounded and trying to explain that am not a front-end developer*
They: But we still want you to do this.3
- 5 years ago -
Job interview question about mainly a Java position : where do you see yourself in 5 years?
*thinks about how fast things are changing, have no idea what the web, programming will be and even where I will end up and feel like this question is a trap*
Me: in not sure.. A dev lead
- now -
After changing 4 time jobs I'm a dev lead in node js3
Manager: Give me an estimate for this project.
Me: It will take end to end approx two months.
Manager: Can you do it in a day. Make some magic happen. This is high critical for business.
Me: Sure. I have a small requirement from you to achieve it.
Me: Please get me the 'Limitless' capsule.9
Dad: What are you doing with your life?
Me: Enjoying it. Can you say the same?
My dad degrades me for my programming because he's from 'that generation.' Fuck him, Imma do what I enjoy, cause I'm damn well sure I don't want to end up like him.13
"Hey, about that matter from yesterday..."
"Yes, what about that?"
"We need to talk about that again! How often do you trigger that system?"
"Yes, but i can check it, if you like."
"See, only once."
"Can it happen at a random point later one?"
"Are you sure?"
"Can you check it?"
"Look here, as you can see, it will not happen at other times."
"Do you have an idea why it could happen anyway?"
"Maybe that system does the action without my software telling it to do so, wasn't that specified that way?"
"Yes, but it normally does that roughly 10 seconds after you give the command the first time, so we thought maybe you could say what makes it do the action at other points maybe."
"Did you check that systems sourcecode?"
"No not yet. But did that happen with the older version?"
"No. But we didn't try."
"Did you change something between the versions?"
"Yes, the new feature."
"Could that make a change in behaviour?"
"I don't see how."
"Can you remove that feature for test?"
"We can take the old version."
"No, we need the new version, but without the feature you added."
"That IS the old version, there is no other difference!"
"Are you sure?"
"Would you like to see it in source control?"
"No, ~ okay. What do you think causes the problem?"
"I haven't had any new ideas since we talked yesterday."
"Okay. Mhhh,...okay. Lets talk again later."
YES SURE! BRING IT ON! I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO THAT! PLEASE COME BY OR CALL ME AGAIN! AND BRING THE BOSS WITH YOU, TO SHOW HOW SERIOUS THE MATTER IS! LET ME TELL HIM THE STUFF I TOLD SEVEN TIMES LAST WEEK!2
A business analyst turned to one dev and she asked him:
- Can you teach me programming?
- Yeah, sure. Do you have any idea which language do you want to learn?
- Nonono, I dont want to learn languages, I want to learn programming.4
Happened with a friend of mine
My advice: Try to ask about the company, the recruiter, the job. Look curious.
*Interview about to finish*
I: So do you have any questions?
F: Uhh, yeah, sure. Where do you work?2
I have had this conversation well too often:
- (him/her) Do you mind helping me with this problem I have on my computer ?
- (me) Sure, what is it ?
- (him/her) *proceeds to explaining the problem*
- (me) Ok, I don't know about this particular thing, you should try googling it.
- (the pissed off version of him/her) Never mind, I'll find someone who's willing to help me.
Please stop taking that as me not caring about your problem.
Googling things is basically what I do all day as a developer.
You really should try it. That thing is actually pretty useful.5
"I should really make better offsite backups"
"Right, this service doesn't do client side encryption"
"Oh this one doesn't have a Linux client"
"OK this one only sets up a single directory you can dump shit into"
"Wtf this one charges more than a high class escort girl"
Whatever... I'm sure my house won't burn down.15
Client: I will send the design you just make it.
Me: uhh,..are you sure you can do it?
Client: ofcourse i can
*2 days later, sends this*6
Friend: you're good with computers right?
Friend: great so i signed up for this site that likes posts and i think they hacked my account
Me: ok... and?
Friend: well since you're good with computers do you think you could hack my account back?
Websites that don't let you copy paste email addresses. Well then, I'll do it using inspector. You're not going fuck with me, that's for sure.
Client/Friend : "Hey bro, can you make something like [a popular social website]?"
Me : "Sure man, but I do need some money to pay for the hosting and other stuff"
Client/Friend : "What's a hosting?"
when you have to do this because the code looks correct but you're not sure what the heck is wrong because it doesn't make sense14
dev A: is everything operative?
dev B: yeah, sure
dev A: how do you know?
dev B: log service doesn't show anything wrong
dev A: does the log service work?
dev B: why shouldn't it? It's its job
dev A: *sips tea*8
I like when a recruiter calls, decides you're not experienced enough for the role they called for, and immediately ask if you know someone who is. Sure, bro, let me help do your job for you.4
Cleaning lady: *wants some tunes during work*
Me: "Sure, I wanted to listen to some music as well.. not sure if our genres match though 🤔"
Cleaning lady (CL): "So what kind of music do you listen to?"
CL: "So um.. synthesizers?"
Me: "Well yes, but it kind of ties in with the dark side of technology.. the whole 1984 dystopian future etc. Privacy, lack of user freedom, etc."
CL: "So essentially cult music?"
TIL that the tech community is a cult for listening to synthwave. I bet she believes that tech peeps are lizards too.
*mentally slaps cleaning lady* - User!!13
This happens nearly every sprint.
TEAM: So, are you happy with how we are going to make this feature?
Business: Yeah, we really need it! It's exactly list that! Quick build! 🏗
TEAM: You're sure.... remember what happened last time...
Business: yeah, yeah, yeah
one week later....
Business: Oh yeah, that thing, we changed our mind we don't want it can you do something else?
Found out they all went on a 2 day course to learn SCRUM...5
Manager: We are hiring a new graphic designer today. Can you get him settled in, please?
Me: Sure, I can do that.
Me: *shakes hand of new recruit.*
Me: I've heard great things about you.
Him: *starts going off on all his experience*
Me: that's great. Let's see what you got.
Several hours later...
Me: can I see what you got?
Him: just putting the last finishing touches on this logo.
Me: is that MSPaint!?
Him: yeah! It's good right?
Campaign manager: I don't see my campaign on portal xxx.
Me: Are you sure? I can see it correctly...
CM: Yes, I don't see anything.
Me: Do you have an ad blocker on?
CM: ... Oh, right.
Client: "Something is missing, like a type of BOOM or some fancy stuff, but I can't pinpoint what exactly. Do you know what I mean?"
Me: "Sure, give me one sec."
Changes font of a single word on a Web page to italic.
My face: Priceless and trying not to laugh out loud.3
Ok, do you sometimes feel like you get treated as search engine? I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one.
My coworker from my previous workplace is messaging me to suggest about good tutorial about a framework that I'm not familiar about.
"Dude, have you heard about Google?"5
Designer: Can you hide scrollbar and still make web scrollable?
Designer: Ok fine, i'll do that in next design.
I: Wait, how users will know the web has more content?
Designer: I'll put the mouse icon on the bottom.
I: It is not good idea. People can overlook it.
Designer: It will be fine.
I: I strongly recommend to you not to do it.
I: Confusion besides other reasons.
Designer: If you can do it, do it.
I: Ok than.
$request->getIP() == 'his_ip' ? 'hide-scrollbar';4
"So, what do you do in life?"
Me : I work on enterprise level mobile, web and server applications. Basically programming and database stuff...
"Sweet! So you can fix my PC right? It's getting slow I don't know why..."
Me : mmm well, ugh... yea kinda, I guess... sure. I could take a look 😑2
Yeah sure, you can have your site files and database. Host it yourself. Get your cousin to maintain it. Go ahead. Yeah, sure, you're gonna do ~really~ well. Bye bye, ya micro-managing fuck nugget :D3
"So what do you do?"
"I am a web developer"
"Oh, so can you make me a website"
"Sure, what do you need"
"Well, I think its going to be the next big thing"
(I already know I shouldn't have answered him)
".... Ok, what's it about"
"Its Facebook/Instagram/Whatsapp/Telegram/Slack/Twitter, but better"
If I had a penny for every time I had to listen to this crap just because I told them I was a developer, I won't have a need to continue being one.8
$ npm audit
> found 19 vulnerabilities (10 low, 5 moderate, 3 high, 1 critical)
$ npm audit fix
> fixed 0 of 19 vulnerabilities in 11987 scanned packages
> (use `npm audit fix --force` to install breaking changes; or do it by hand)
$ npm audit fix --force
> npm WARN using --force I sure hope you know what you are doing.
Me too, buddy. Me too.1
"Can you do this?"
Sure, give me the information I need...
"We don't have all of it yet"
So I can't do it then
"Well when can you do it"
When you get the information
"Do you need *all* of it"
Well, it's either I do half a job and waste my time, or get it all done in one shot
"The client wants it tomorrow"
When will we have the information?
"We don't know"
Well they aren't having it tomorrow then, are they...
Sales people... don't care *how* things work, as long as they get a tick against their name to show they've sold something...3
"Hey I am a programmer too! I can code anything, I bet I'm better than you!"
"Huh, that sounds cool! What languages do you like to write your programs in?"
True story by the way, some guy I just met did this. I was not sure how to react. Should I laugh? Should I cry? Should I kill myself? Should I kill him?10
Our PM found a contractor, results as expected..
Contractor: "The file you supplied is corrupt, some areas are greyed out and damaged"
Me: "😐, do you mean the comments?"
Contractor: "I'm not sure what you mean 'the comments'"
Me: "Does the file work as expected?"
Me: "Strange! I'll have a chat with our PM and get this issue resolved right away 😉"
Note: our PM is new.
PM: can you help me?
Me: sure, what do you need?
PM: where do the folders with all the techie stuff come from?
I had no context and spent the next 20 minutes trying to work out what folders she was on about. Turned out she wanted to know where the client side folders on our development server come from, was going to explain 'Gulp' and 'Branch' to her but I think I'd be there for the rest of the day... Why do 'tech' companies hire non-tech-savie people.4
Client asks for a sponsorship page that has rows of logos, 6 rows total. "Okay."
They want the logos at the top to be bigger than the ones below. "Sure."
They want the logos to decrease in size by 20% per row. "But there are 6 rows...?"
"Our agreement says 20% difference between each sponsor tier. Can you do it?"
"Okay...but, I don't think you want 20%..."
"Hey, why can't we see any logos on the bottom row..."
This is for all the junior devs and people moving into the corporate world.
Remember, HR is there to protect the company, NEVER the employee.
Do not fall for the okie-doke when they tell you they are there to help.
If destroying you is cheaper in the long run than damage to the company then be sure they will slit you from ear-to-ear.7
Almost ever day I am the first one at office in the early morning. Other devs arrive at least one or two hours later. I don't mind. I just want to have a bit of sun left, when I go.
But why the heck...everytime I go, one of those other fucktards (which I normally really like), mumbles something like "you go this early today?"
Yes I do you dipshit!! You could arrive earlier, too!
And then, those late birds get credit for staying longest!!!
I mean, sure... If you start to work at 11pm, you have to stay long...
"Quality CSS" is much a fucking misnomer. As someone whose been writing this shit at scale for 15+ years I can tell you all CSS code is garbage. The only thing you should do is make sure you don't have name collisions. Classes/components are self contained. And use variables when possible. DRY makes sense usually, but if you're dogmatic about it you shoot yourself in the foot.9
Boss: Can you modify the prototype, so that I can show it off to the customers who will visit?
Me: Sure, when do you need it?
Boss: In two hours.
Lesson learned: Always have a branch in your git with a working demo.7
#define Minion (A junior from my college)
Minion : Hey, can you suggest me from some good project for my final year.
Me : Sure , which "programming language" do you know?
Minion : Well i am good at HTML.
Me : Ya sure , make a "program" using HTML only that takes input from a user and prints that nth prime number.
Minion : 😱😱😱😱5
I didn't actually realize anyone could be this dumb. Sure, I'd heard stories, but I wasn't sure that I'd ever come across this level of stupidity in the wild. I was moving email across hosting accounts for someone, and I asked them to please navigate to a certain domain. Then they asked what navigate meant, so I told them to please type it into the URL bar. They said "OK." 5 seconds later, they said, "Which one do I click on?" They googled the url. So I asked them to please type it into the URL BAR. Then they asked what that was.
...like what? I just told you this yesterday. How fast does information fall out of your head? Do you forget where your toilet is when you wake up every morning? How do these people even function in society?
If you think about it, modern webpages and anal sex are pretty much the same.
Sure, you can do it, but it wasnt designed for that and you will probably end up with a shitfest.7
Friend: hey can you make me a website?
Me: sure, what is it for?
Friend: 'whatever the site is for'
Me: Ok, what are the different tabs you want for the navigation bar?
Friend: Ummm... Idk yet
Me: Ok... So do you have an idea what you want the website to look like?
Friend: Ummm just make it look pretty
Before you rant, make sure it's not a repost.
Q: How do you know if it's a repost?
A: If it's a meme on the internet, so very probably that it's already posted here.. so don't8
Friend: Can you write me a discord bot?
Me: Sure, I guess.
Me: *thinking* I can probably do it in 2 hours or less*
Me: *2 hours later* why does this API work like that and why the fuck is my node module folder so big???10
Me: "We should do X!"
Client: "I think Y would be better."
Me: "If you're sure..."
Client: "I'm the one paying you!"
*much development time passes*
Client: "We should do X. Isn't it your job to think of these things?"
Disclaimer: I do not hate indian developers. There are always really good developers from india, its just my luck for not being to work with any of them.
There's this company that my current employer hired them to develop this web application together.
I managed to develop a module for the application, and I wrote some test cases for the module I was working on.
Each time I commit my work to our staging branch, I'll always run the test cases to make sure I didn't break any existing functionalities.
As they do not have permissions to commit directly to the staging branch, they a required to submit a PR for me to review, before merge them.
I've reminded them to run my test cases to make sure whatever their team has developed, doesn't break my modules. But i'm pretty sure, they never did.
Monkeys: hey, we have submitted multiple PRs for to fix some issues, can you merge them?
Me: did you run my test cases to make sure your changes didn't break anything? (You just have to run `phpunit` on the root project directory)
Me: can you guys run them? Make sure they all passing.
Monkeys: *ran command*
Monkeys: we ran the test cases, and there are some errors.
Me: then fix them.
Monkeys: but they are your work, and we do not wish to make any changes to your work.
Fuck this shit. So they broke stuff that I coded, but I have to fix the stuff?23
Good luck to team devRant at the TNW NYC conference today. We are sure you will make our global devRant community proud as always. Thanks for all you do!
Now seriously, WHAT THE FUCK???
Every single time I have to work with people from a particular country [you have one guess. Yepp, that's the one], I see A-FUCKING-LOOOOOOT of manual work?!?
"can you reboot the server?"
-"sure, let me help you, sir" <20 minutes later> "done"
"can you unlock my account?"
-"yes, just a moment sir" <20 minutes later> "please check now"
"can you restart this environment w/ 200 instances?"
-"yes sir, let me check" <6 hours later> "please check now"
"you've missed 18 containers"
-"oh okay sir, will restart them now" <2hours later> "please check now"
[I am already OoO]
why is it that every time I have to work with you guys I am the one who is automating shit. How come you never think of/do any automata? You are fucking technitians, you should know how. WHY DO YOU ENJOY CLICKING ALL-DAY-LONG????
I'm serious. Why??? I'm struggling to understand...25
Me: Requirements changed a lot since we first started. If we re-write a few sections of the app we can drastically reduce bugs, crashes, improve debug-ability etc.
PM: sure let me push back this unnecessary feature and you can do that next.
*cried at the thought of how amazing life would be*
Boss : Can you please make a page where I can add a magazine cover image, summary and source urls.
Me : Sure.
Me : here you go.
Boss : How do I upload multiple images in this page ?1
roommate: lets start a startup!
me: sure, what do you have in mind?
roommate: nothing, I need a team first.
oh come on!
At my next job interview. "So, do you have your lpic or redhat certification in vigor?"
Me. "Better. I have these, motherfucker."
(They arrive a few days ago, but I couldn't show them till now. If you're living outside US and worries about if you can get your stickers, be sure you will. They made all their way to Spain, and had no trouble to receive them. Be patient, and eventually they'll arrive safely and beautiful.)3
Work: there is little work for our freelancer we're getting rid of him at the end of the year
Me: are you sure, that will put a lot of work on my schedule.
Work: I'm sure you can handle it
*two weeks later*
Work: have you finished feature xyz yet
Me: nope had a server crash today so pushed it back
Work: why didn't you get "free lancers name here" to do it for you
Me: I could of if you didn't fire him, he could of also done the other features you want too
Work: ah ok1
Sales: We NEED to view the minutely data but showing 10 years of data at a time
Me: you do realise that would be like 2 days of data per pixel even on one of largest monitor resolutions
Sales: your a clever guy I'm sure you can work something out
Me: well I can consolidate the data so you ...
Sales: No we need to see the temperature for every minute11
*How to graduate in style*
(And prob get arested)
(Because i am graduating soon)
-Make a simple reverse_tcp payload with persistence and encode it with veil or do it yourself. Make sure it connects to your VPS.
- Give it to your classmates and teachers! Sharing is caring!
- make a wallpaper that says "Happy graduation class 404!" (Isn't our class number awesome?!)
- wait until graduation to... i think you know what i plan to do ;)30
A friend asks me for help with one of her subjects in college (She is taking a degree on Communication sciences):
Her: "Hey! Can you help me with Java next semester? I am going to have a subject about that..."
Me: "Java in your degree? Strange... You sure it's Java?"
Her: "Yes, I'm sure! I've talked to some people of my degree and they said it is Java. Can you help me?"
Me: "Okay! Do you have any documentation so that I can check what you are going to learn about Java?"
*She sends a PDF*
Which do you think designers are tired of hearing?
"Make the logo bigger"
"Looks great but can you make it pop"
"Can you make it pretty"
"Something is missing in the design but I'm not sure what is."
After 15 Revisions
"I think the first design you made was better."11
(applying to a developer position)
interviewer : So, do you like to code?
me : of course!
interviewer : Are you sure? because this is a developer position and women prefer something more administrative than coding.
me : Wow! nobody told me that before. If I had known I wouldn't have studied this.
didn't expect to be called back after that...8
The spaghetti monster is online.
Literally changes on the last minute.
Pushed to master, let CI/CD deal with it and left for lunch.
Bugs? Haha, sure.
Serious one? You can bet.
Do you care? Nope.5
How intellij handles syntax errors while reformating code vs eclipse:
Intellij: I'm not sure what you want to do there, so I'll just make slight adjustments.
Eclipse: Yeah, I don't understand this so fuck your whole file.
Client: Can you build me a custom Wordpress site to look like this WordPress template..
Me: Sure, but why not buy the rights to the template?
Client: I want it custom.
Me: what do you want custom?
Client: the content on all the pages. The template is all in french or something.
Me: kills self.4
What the hell is "4k mAh battery"? Come on guys, you know what that little 'm' means, please tell me you do.
You wouldn't say "4k miligrams". You wouldn't say "4k milliseconds". You wouldn't say "4k milliliters". So don't use "4k miliampere hours". It's dumb.
Just to be sure - everyone, repeat with me:
👏 0.000004 👏 MAh 👏 eqals
👏 0.004👏 kAh 👏 eqals
👏 4 👏 Ah 👏 eqals
👏 4000 👏 mAh 👏 eqals
👏 4000000 👏 nAh 👏
Thank for giving me 5k ms of your attention.21
@dfox and @trogus,
What if you made something out of DevRant©2016 then you hired employees and they started ranting about y'all. What would you do? Would you make an admin panel to stalk the employees posts? Would you make sure they don't slander you as bad people? I'm curious to see how that would work out.3
So fed up with this "Linux is hard to handle"-bull. If you want to do things the hard way, sure. But if you install a normal distribution like Ubuntu it's as close to "just works" as I have seen. Sure if you want to compile everything yourself into your perfect system it can be hard, but on windows or mac that's not hard, it's impossible.13
Don't you just love it when you're waiting on a team member in a different country to push code that you NEED to be able to finish your job, but you know they've already gone home for the night and you're stuck reading the same three doc pages for your entire day at work? Because I sure do
Tomorrow is my 19th birthday and I'm very excited about it. 😀🎂
Wanted to do something special as a computer geek but wasn't sure.
Hope you can help me !
At a point in your life, you'll settle down abit, and you start to think about what you've done in the past (idk) years of your life.
Then you think about your career, how everything is ever since you discovered you were good at a certain thing since highschool.
be it programing, writing random codes, pentesting (or if you had that "hacker" phase in your life) or fixing laptops and etc.
You think about the word, and you had a thought: You only know how to do it, how it works, how its done, and how to do it.
You only "Know", it takes practice, patience, dedication and years (or months depends on you) of experience before you can really say for sure you're "Good" at it.
Me? Im no where near good. but that doesn't stop me from going there.
And i hope the same goes for you. You can do it,
Have a great day.3
User: Hey, we got a big issue with one of your tools. One of your pages isn't loading.
Me: Ok, so when did this happen?
User: We don't know? Its been like that for a long time though, so we thought it was normal 😃
Me: ....ok. So do you know what data is supposed to appear?
User: Uhhh we're not sure as well. Since, you know, its been like that for a while.
Just great 😑4
Manager: I want you to make an architecture diagram for this system
Me, not sure what diagram but ok asking my senior then
Senior: You know those diagrams you learned in uni? Yeah, do whichever you think is suitable
Me, left to my own devices, makes a shitty use case and sequence diagram
Manager: We don't actually do diagrams like yours here. But I like it so lets stick with it.
😱 Ok. Cool.5
Not sure why non tech people has no common sense. When they saw pokemon go became a hit they say they want to develop something like that. Wtf man, If I can develop that why do u think I need to work for you?4
So I dont know if this has been brought here already but I was busy lately with an oncoming amount of users of my site... and they found a few bugs, anyway me sucking aside:
To my fellow American DevRant users, how do you guys feel when you are about to get fucked by the posibility of get Net Neutrality in your country? Man what is going there sure is a tragicomedy, uh?24
B - Ok guys, here we are to decide who's gonna do what.
What part of the app needs to be developed
P1 - The UX
P2 - The Statistics
P3 - The calls to the server
Me - The flow of work
B - Uhm, right, well scratch that, I'm gonna need you to make a website for a costumer.
Me - But this app is due to the next two weeks!!
B - I'm sure you'll manage.1
So I was using this very nice web app for some administration. When browsing their blog, I discovered they were in my hometown, and only a couple of blocks away from my place. I emailed them "do you maybe have a job for an IT student?" And they said "Sure, come on over!"
Software engineering course.
Professor wants to show us some Java code.
*Font super small*
Student: can you please increase the font size?
*Can't find the correct setting to do that*
Professor: does anyone know how to increase font size?
Some student at the back: copy the code to notepad++.
Cool professor though..9
I was talking with a guy who is making an android app for his thesis but hes "shitdamn awful in java". I offered to help because im so fucking nice.
"oh but i dont have facebook, is it a problem?"
Nah sure i dont use facebook anyways, got telegram?
Then what do you use???
It's a new semester and the introductory class for a General Ed is going on.
Prof: What do you want to be when you are done with engineering?
Me: I'd like to be in the security domain but I'm still not sure.
Prof: Then why are you doing Computer Science? You can just get a job as a security personnel.
Lead Dev: Could you please make blahblah for us to use while making blah?
Me: Sure, np
Me: (to friend) hey could i test the connection for blahblah on ur pc
Friend: Sure, not doing anything anyway
Me: Finds issues, fixes, and finishes blahblah
Me: Can i just borrow ur pc one more time
Friend: Ok... looks like its working
( i leave the room to fix small bug )
Lead Dev: (Friend) just showed me blahblah,he really did a good job on it
Me: ... Oh, yeah, he didnt rlly do anything though.. I just needed his pc to test it
Lead Dev: oh yeah, but, yknow he really did a good job on it, im sure u did too..
Me: Are you sure you want this in the acceptance test procedure?
Me: I'm just saying, we don't have any requirements for this feature so it doesn't really belong there.
Lead: Just put it in.
Me: Are you sure? It's a lot of work for something that isn't even required to be there.
Lead: Go do it.
*I do the work and it goes to peer review*
High ranking person from another team: I don't see any requirements traceability. Why is this in here if there are no requirements?
Me: WELL AIN'T THAT A GOOD GODDAMN QUESTION!?3
Actual thing that happened:
I was asked to remake an application from ruby to nodejs with angular as frontend and after few weeks of working on the algorithm, I was finally able to send it to the client to test if the algorithm was working fine, telling him to disregard the actual look and feel of the page because we are still working on it and it will be done soon.
Two weeks later at the meeting :
Me: So? is the algorithm working as you expect? do you get the proper results?
Client: Yes yes yes, but the font in the email is not the right one, it has to be Calibri 12.
Me: ooook ? Sure, it will be done, but i am interested in the algorithm, are you sure you have tested it enough and it is working properly?
Him: Yes yes yes, but please change the font the in the application as well to Calibri 12.
This was my first real programming bible. I remember reading it chapter after chapter in the car on long car trips as a youngster and being so excited about the stuff I was learning I would explain it to my mom in the front seat as I was learning it. I'm sure she didn't understand a word of it.
Funny thing is I still do that today, 25 years later. And I'm sure she still understands not a word!
So, what was the book that really got you into programming?10
We are currently building a CRM for a company, and we have to demo it for some of the users, two guys start asking couple of questions.
Them: what it is built with?.
Me:PHP, do you know it?
Them: No we only know WordPress.
Me: well WordPress is built with PHP.
them: Ah that's probably why we thought it looked like WordPress.
Me: yeaaah probably... sure :)3
Been there for two weeks
[Team lead] why didn't you deploy to production like i told you, while i was sick?
[Me] nobody told me i should do that
[TL] i wrote you on slack
[Me] I'm pretty sure you didn't
*TL scrolls through history, can't find proof*
[TL] okay I can't find anything, I probably told you in a hangout call
He did not, I would remember that...3
Was cleaning up some of the old files on my system and found the first ever raycast program I had written.. in c++
This was during a time im pretty sure all of you guys just like me learnt the things that you could possibly do using code.
The experience of the first time I ran this and saw the sprites appear was the awe all of us have experienced in our own ways.
The reason I found this picture interesting is many of us end up losing the wonder and sense of excitement that got us into development in first place.
Go back , clean up your drives .. find your old code. I'm sure there is no better feeling than looking at the past you , writing bad code , with a probably bad language on a bad editor with sleepless nights to get nothing more than the output we wanted.
It's amazing when you realise everything is better when it's simple.1
Me : Can I have your Server Access to deploy project.
Client : I don't have server. I will run it on my laptop.
Me : Okay, Are you sure? And do you have static IP?
Client : what's that?
Hmm. I'm sure some of you could come up with more reasons why they wouldn't recommend Windows 10 to a friend lol.
But like for most people there is only two options for OS: Mac or Windows. At this point, everyone has their preference. What do they expect? You and your mates chilling at a bar, and then you bring this up: "Aye fellas fellas. You guys ever use Windows 10? It's freaking awesome man."3
Conversation between [C]oworker and... some kind of customer-side [P]roject manager.
P: Hey, our release 2.0 is ready, but somehow I can't add tag to master. Could you try, please?
C: Yeah, sure.... Done... We are missing tag for 1.2 still, should we add it?
P: Oh, right, I forgot about that.
C: Ok, found merge... Done.
P: *displaying repo in GitBlit* Uh, now the order is wrong. And date is the same. Can we do something about that?
Me: We can just push that tag with replaced date. *just guessing*
P&C: You can do that??
Me.thinking: Thats git... I would be suprised if we could not.
Me: *pushing tag* Check it now.
P: Whoa, nice!5
This works: email@example.com
Spam filtering protip:
Did you know that the email spec allows you to use firstname.lastname@example.org and the emails still come to you. This is especially useful when registering to a lot of places where you are not sure whether they will spam you or not. Filtering will be easy because you have a unique email address for each service. Also you can find out which service leaked your email address to spammers.
Additionally if you want to register to a service with two accounts but still want to use the same email, you can do this easily by adding +whatever in your email address.6
I've been taking a bunch of boot camp 'entry' type tests to do some research for the school I'm building - and these things are strange. To qualify, some of them want to make sure you can do basic algebra and others want you to be very comfortable with higher-order JS function type stuff - and then you get questions like this : /5
I do IT work along side my dev work. I had a Dr come up to me and ask me if I had time to help him pick out a personal computer... (Mother fucker I am on lunch break) "Sure" I say... "What's your budget, what will you be doing with the computer?" Dr - "I don't mind spending $6,000 and I want it for minor gaming..."
MUST BE FUCKING NICE!6
Grandma: so how do I scan that thingy in order to comnect to the wifi?
Me: I already told you that's something that you have to do only once. Just turn on wifi and it'll connect automatically
G: But I already turned it on and it's not connecting. Now tell me how to scan that again
Me: Are you sure that you did?
Me: It's disabled...
G: Oh, thanks, it's working now.
Literally every time she wants her phone to connect to the wifi.2
At the end of each work day, once I am sitting down, I take a moment to do a little stress relief exercise.
I get in my car, make sure all doors/windows are shut, make sure the coast is clear, and I yell at the top of my lungs.
The relief is almost instant. And even if it was a good day, sometimes a good, loud yell can just help to relieve any build up tension, anxiety, or stress you may not have known you were under. Give it a try (:3
PM: Yes, so, could you please do those changes on this page tomorrow by 3 pm and push to prod?
Me: Yeah sure! Noted :) (task is to "untick" a checkbox in a page's settings on our CMS)
* the next day -- 11 am *
PM: erm yes so please can you do the changes I told you about, it's getting urgent and you didn't start it already and it stresses the hell out of me because today is friday and it needs to be up and running fine for Monday 12pm and you don't work on weekend so I'd like yo-
When your customer says "I'm sure it takes little time to do it" and you know you just won another two weeks of work...3
Reinstalling Android Studio.
It takes a while.
So you take a rest, exercise a little. Sure, it will installed when you'll come back ready to throw yourself into deep work, with fresh energy.
You come back.
There is a pop up: Do you want to send usage data to google ? Nothing installed yet.
Only Yes/No option. Where is the "Fuck you" option?12
Me: Can I talk to you for a sec?
Boss: Sorry, can we do that later? I'm busy right now.
And later never comes 😑12
Friend: « Can you help me do the js part of my paid contract for free ? »
Me: Yeees, sure, I am not going to do that, never3
Boss: "do you have a minute?"
Boss: "I have this problem, can you just stop doing whatever you are doing and fix it for me?"
Me internally: *no I don't, what I'm doing right now is fixing another one of your problems for which you've interrupted other work already"
Me: "Yeah sure, gimme some time"
Can't afford to fail my internship and I don't want a shitty work environment which I why I don't speak my mind...
But man this is tiring...2
Taxi Driver: Do you like this song Sir?
Me: Not sure, I don't know it!
Taxi Driver: Alexa, change the song...
"I got an issue on my pc, can you have a look?"
Sure, I'm afraid I don't know the solution to that, just google xxx and I'm sure there'll be something to fix it
"I don't know how to do that, that's way too complicated. Nevermind I'll take my old pc"
I don’t live in the EU, but hearing all the complaints about article 11, 13, etc. is really vexing me.
Article 11 in particular.
Why the hell would you force companies to pay taxes for linking? Why the hell would you tax websites for including sources? Do you want no sources? Do you want misinformation to become a bigger problem? What the hell is wrong with whoever proposed that bill!?!?
The internet is a place for relative freedom. A place of message boards and communities we’ve created. To impede that (beyond making sure it doesn’t facilitate hanious crimes) is just plain wrong.8
Guy studies programming for a year.
Guy: I am going to start this amazing project wanna help
Me: Sure what is it
Guy: ***Long story of a decent idea***
Me: Sure Ill help, what do you need me to do
Guy: Only a few functions
A few days later...
Guy: Hey I don't where to start or how I should do it can you help me with like THE WHOLE PROGRAM?
If you haven't gathered from this story. Don't be that one guy who has an idea but doesn't write or make a plan for it as your just going to waste other peoples energy and resources.8
Boss: Can you export the foo data and send it to me?
Me (later): Ok, just shared foo.csv with you. It should have everything you need, just let me know if you need the bar data.
Boss: OK, thanks.
Boss: Did you get the foo data exported?
Me: Yes, I shared that with you yesterday
Boss: What did you name it?
This is all in a chat, by the way, not in person. Scrolling for 1.5 seconds reveals all the relevant information.
How do I respond in a way that is not sarcastic and does not belittle my boss? I'm not sure it's even possible.2
Developer: "Hey, I've just finished the vehicle script, do you mind reviewing this before i push into the master branch"
*hes overlooking me while i review"
Developer: "I've spent ages on this, just let me know once your done"
That's what i found lol6
Recruiters sure do get pissy when you tell them that you're waiting for a counteroffer from your current employer9
Want to log in? Sure, authorize your login. Oh you've authorized it? Nah you can't get in. Log in again.
2FA, excellent technology, except when it's implemented by "move fast and break things" Facebook.
Want to buy $listing? Sure, you can send a message to the seller to ask for details. Oh, you want to send them a message? Nah sorry, you can't send messages to this person. You'll have to go to their profile, send them a message there and do it not with our le fancy instant messages but by manually typing it in. Because you know, reasons. Message approvals or something like that probably. Because why on Earth would Facebook support its own ecosystem?!
Move fast and break things. And breaking things those certified enganeers at Facebook sure do. Fucking pieces of shit.7
The more I learn about programming the more terrified I become about having huge knowledge gaps and learning something wrong by possibly making wrong assumptions about how certain things work or by falling on bad tutorials. I'm constantly hyped about coding, and at the same time I always feel I will never be able to say confidently "I know how to code".
How the hell do you make sure you are learning programming correctly as a self taught? Or do i just have to accept that no matter how and what I code there will always be a better way to do it, resulting in me constantly feeling as a low-skilled coder?4
Friend: i have an idea
Me: what is it?
Friend: uber is not yet here, lets do the app exactly like uber only for the city, can you do that like in one month?
Me: uber is a billion dollar company with several and the best engineers in the world
Friend: so what, just copy the exact same idea, of course the money comes when the app is done
Me: sure... ill call you in a month. (delete conversation)
I don't think it's to complicated...
Dumb clients, no matter who they are if they want you to fix their computer ... Create a new Twitter , hack, when you don't hack.
They make our lives hell .. why ? Because ignorance.
My favourite is when they expect you to work for nothing.oh but you can have 2% it's a billion dollar idea you'll make like 20 mill!😒🙄 All I'll do is sit here since i was the genius if the idea you work out the details ? 400 hours you say? I'm sure it'll take 20 don't be silly now.1
I've been programming for a career and as a hobby for more than two years now. I want to start contributing to some projects on Git hub, but I'm not sure where to start. What advice do you have for me for first starting out on Git hub?7
So I was thinking.
Everybody here knows sites that mine some currency with your PC for the dev without you knowing (Yeah sure 100% CPU).
Its not cool and they still show Ads on the fucking site.
But now imagine this the site you love the most (except devRant) give you this option:
They will clearly say that they are mining but only 20% of your CPU and for return you will not see ads on the page.
What do you think ?
Let the discussion begin !12
Is anyone coming to South Korea for the Pyeongchang Winter Olympics?
If you do, make sure to come with Korean Air, Delta, Air France, and KLM. They get to use the new Incheon Airport Terminal 2 soon.6
Junior Dev me: ok boss, coding is basically done, just need to do some more system testing.
Senior Dev: fantastic let me take a look.
(3 hours later)
Senior Dev: ok so I've made some small changes and pushed, could you pull my edits.
(EVERYTHING Is changed)
(try to compile)
Me: sorry, it doesn't seem to compile for me
Senior Dev: I never tried to actually build it, it's only a small change
Arguing with my girlfriend (recalled from my mind, not 100% accurate)
she: What do you expect when you buy an android?
Me: sure thing apple is more "unpack it, use it", easy to use - but android is more like an empty canvas. The first thing when I buy it is setting it up to my needs.
she: You don't understand, what do you expect from your android device?
me: It has to be affordable and work for a certain time
she: No I mean, do you.. when you unpack your phone, expect it TO WORK?
me: Sure, it's not like I buy a pile of trash, I expect it to work
she: you're too stupid, baka
me: ... ? *confused*
she: When you say it is like a canvas, isn't a canvas someday full?
me: yes, every phone, iPhone, Pixel, Samsung, every phone has a limited memory
she: *mad* you don't get it, silly
me: I want to but heh, I don't get it10
Boss: oh so you are working on that unrealistic 3week project ? Let me also assign you some completely unrelated office work.
Me: But I'm a programmer, researching other companies and contacting them looking for new projects is not part of my job descrip...
Boss: oh don't worry I'm sure you'll do great!
Me: that's not what I'm sayi...
Boss: ok I have to go now, have it ready by tomorrow!
"Guys, I'm going to change my studies next year, I'll be studying IT, programming, stuff about computers"
"You mean, they threw you out of mechanical engineering and you are forced to do that?"
"No, I chose it myself, I'm not interested in mechanical engineering anymore."
"But you love it, you repaired your car! (WTF???) But are you sure there are jobs for what you are studying now?"
"Well, much more than in mechanical engineering actually..."
Like, they didn't notice that I'm fond of IT stuff since I'm 13... C'mon guys...3
Me: Hey, can you help me with that?
* Looks at code *
Ah, you just have to...
* Tries to type *
Uhm, do you the vim plugin?
Me: yeah, is that a problem?
Coworker: Weird flex but it's ok
* tries to type solution *
Uhm, do you also use another keyboard layout?
Me: Yes, I use the US layout (instead of the german layout)
Coworker: I'm done with this, you type
Boss be like..
Boss: Hey can make this for me?
Dev: Sure, when do you need it?
Is there a difference between vscode and visual studio?
Or are they two names for the same thing?
Either way, do you guys like it/them?
I want to try out vscode but am not sure if I should.10
Me: "can you please send my credentials for the database?"
Hosting provider: "Yea sure... We will set it up on our servers in no time"
*5 mins later: provider sends mail to me*
Me: *looks at mail*
Also me: *NOTHING TO DO HERE*
Congrats to jweiland.net for not being able to support their customers.2
Client - I want something kinda like uber, can you do it?
Me - Sure, give me 1.5 million dollars and we're set!2
"Startup (called Nectome) wants to upload your brain to the cloud, but has to kill you to do it"
No thanks, I am sure NSA will kick in.4
You know how my 'about' here says I create features from bugs?!? Well if you didn't before, now you do.. :P
Anyhow, today the most bizzare thing happened.. Customer played 'reverse uno card' on me..
They reported a feature missing on uat env, when in fact I fixed a bug they have on prod..
Not sure how I should feel about this, but it sure made my day! (: I just hope they will not open a bug report for this missing bug..4
Accounting: Can you not aggregate your orders? Why do you keep coming in with new orders each week?
Me: Sure, I'll go tell the servers to aggregate failures.4
How do you handle narcissist managers?
Who look at you not as human beeing but as a thing to exploit for personal gain? Sure there's the business side (capitalism) but the human side of it bothers me.5
Dear internet providers,
Please make sure that everyone can setup routers so I don't have to stand in tons of rain waiting on somebody to open me his door because I have to stick the ******** LAN cable in the wall, which he really can't do him self....
Where do you go/what do you do when you need to think out a problem?
Me, I take a drive. I'm not sure why but I seem to achieve maximum clairvoyance while driving around. Moreso at night than during the day, but the effect is still there when the sun is up. It's kind of weirdly meditative, to drive autonomously, only hearing the drone of the engine and whisper of the tires.
I know a lot of people resort to showers, or straight meditation, but I was curious if there were other, quirkier things people do to arouse their mind.7
A friend just asked me if I can convert a pdf to an image file.
Me: yes sure (easier to do than to ask why)
Me: What format do you want it in JPG or PNG?
Sometimes it's easier to just do it than to start asking and teaching people how to use computers...3
She: Hey, if I send you a video (made of photos), could you please rotate the images (they are rotated 45 degrees)?
Me: hmmm sure.
*She sending the video*
Me: Wait... there is some text over the rotated photos...
She: That's a problem?
Are you fucking kiding me? How the fuck I can rotate *only* the images in a video where you put also some text (not rotated)???
Can't you visualize that if I do that, the text will be rotated 45 degrees and the video will be still wrong?1
What flavor of Linux is everyone using? Why do you think it works well for developers? Got a new laptop and I'm trying to decide what to put on it. My other laptop has a dual boot of windows 10 and Kali Linux (my sudden interest to become a developer came from a desire to be better at Infosec/netsec stuff)
Curious to see what everyone uses from a developers perspective. Not sure I want to develop on Kali and windows is shit.23
So my coworker is gonna change computer and for the past two weeks is "annoying" me to install Ubuntu for her...
Look ... I'm a dev just like you... Get your shit together and do it yourself or wait.
So Wednesday I gave her the task to backup her shit because I'm gonna do it today... Guess what she told me? That I'm better at it and if I could do do for her...
Sure.. Yeah... Gonna rsync your /home/user folder to the new machine and fuck you if you loose anything, that's not my fucking job you useless piece of shit.2
@dfox @trogus I work in a dept with hundreds of developers. I’m sure a lot of people on here do too.
Why isn’t there an “refer a friend” option on here? You know like the ability to invite someone to the community from within the app.7
I really don't like billing time for things I am not really sure how to do and need time to educate myself on. This happens more often than my wallet is comfortable with and I spend more time learning than making money. How do you go about staying in an estimate or fixed budget when something comes up that you don't know anything about?7
Dear team leader, If you tell me „I need to review this merge request before merging”, then make sure you are able to allocate time to do this.
If you need MORE THAN A WEEK to even start, then maybe your delegation skills are nonexistent.
@AlexDeLarge and any other React guys, which do you prefer? Traditional css files, whether that be vanilla or with a preprocessor, or style objects for each component.
There are some pretty clear pros i can identify for both sides, but I'm pretty sure I'm missing somethings and I'd like to hear from you guys your opinions and experiences with either27
Few days before vacations ...
PM : "Project must absolutly be finished before your 3 weeks vacations."
ME : "We have to clarify the technical solution with the architect and the analyst before I can write the code."
PM : "No. Just do it and make sure you transfer the knowledge, it's urgent for the business."
... 3 weeks later, back from my vacations ...
Total of 0 commit(s) to repo...
Open space is not a perk.
If someone tells you they want remote, not bit of remote or any other indication,
Why would you ask how much remote is ok?
If someone tells you "i want open space" would you ask "how much open space? Like half office?" No, you wouldn't.
But for sure, what is not acceptable when someone tells you they want remote is answering "that's a shame" if you want to get a developer a job, work, if you want to get cash because of a developer then do that.
If you're expecting a call from a company to do a phone screen, make sure your phone is charged... if it dies before you can even tell me why you're looking for a new job and I still can't reach you 15 minutes later, it's very off putting.1
Question: is it common to a developer to have lots of tasks to do at the same time, so you don't have sure what you need to do first, specially when you have 2 or more urgent projects?
That is one of the things I most hate on managing.10
Have you ever flown a plane? No? Well I need you to get in the lab today and test out these high level requirements, you should pick up on it pretty fast....
The lab looks like NASA flight control and has everything a cockpit has, sure I can just jump right on it and do my thing.
This should be fun 😅2
That feeling when you were so happy about react-native, and was pretty sure at the beggining about the achitecture of your app and js libs you are about to use.
Im here sitting with redux, reselect and still dont know why I cant just do a REST call and format data in the container component.
Why react is so hard, or am I dumb?6
customer: can you make the site as fast as google? I'm sure you can do that with one of those apps out there.1
Do you all look for code complexity O(n) while coding? Or you make sure that your code runs and never look back what's happening ?
Because as per code review no one looks for code complexity and that's so sad12
Steps for making something that works become shitty, gmail and Microsoft edition:
1. Enforce non standards compliant authentication methods because you know client developers will have to bend to your will because you're fucking google
2. Let Microsoft develop a ldap wrapper with web authentication to load when you try to log in with a client.
3. As per usual, the Microsoft azure Authenticator crashes thunderbird immediately. Not even sure how they managed to do that
4. And we have suck.
[sarcasm] Sure, change the front end completely after i spent half a day taking screenshots to compile documentation for other people to you use your tool...Its not like i have anything else better to do anyway >.< [/sarcasm]1
What do you consider the best method for long-term cold data storage? And why?
I was looking at some magnetic tapes, but the degradation of magnetic charge is worrying me. Lose a single bit and you're fucked.
Dvds - not sure, some of my old ones are no longer readable. Not sure why tho, they had been enclosed in a dark, room-temp place all the time
hdds -- still magnetic.
"When you do things right, people won’t be sure you’ve done anything at all." - God (from Futurama)2
Right now, whether you're making money or not, try and make sure you take some time for yourself. Whatever you like to do: take a walk, exercise, meditate, or even sit by the shore if you live close to the coast. 🏖️
I don't know if some people are incompetent or just simply dumb.
If you're not sure what to do, ask.
If every guideline for each workflow has been uploaded, read and watch.
Don't wait until the very last minute.
Don't even act innocent when I ask and you don't even know wtf I'm talking about.
Don't "disappear" and come back when the deadline is in few days.
Just stop torturing me with your horrible work ethics.3
New colleague comes to present himself. Sees me editing using key bindings, multiple buffers showing in Emacs, bash scripts running in separate terminal...
"I have no idea what you do around here, but I'm sure your a pro"
Seems like a smart guy to me.1
Don't you just feel that powerful personal connection when a recruiter on LinkedIn starts his message with "Dear Sir/Madam, I really like your profile and it is a great fit blah blah"...
Sure you do, enough to miss my obvious beard (and thus genre).
Oh and I'll pass on that opportunity that doesn't fit any of my skills/previous experience.
Do you, guys, have any VPN suggestions? I'm mostly looking for a VPN that doesn't throttle your speed, allows and encrypts P2P connections and is secure and reliable. I'm not quite sure what other more specific requirements I'm looking for, since I'm not too knowledgeable in this domain, but I'm nonetheless thanking you in advance :D8
coworker : hey can you test this? doc should be up to date.
me : ya, sure. *looks at vague test case* ... what's the jar/doc name?
coworker : oh it's ___
me : ok i found the doc, where's the jar? do you have it?
coworker : oh i'm building it in jenkins now
coworker : ok it builds (link to jenkins)
how did you not know i'd need these things to do what you're asking? >_>2
How about a Git for Databases?
Do your changes, delete things, create things, and then when you are sure push these changes to your server.
If you did something wrong like accidentally delete fucking everything, just revert and everything is like before again.
Also you can view history and blame people for doing something wrong.
Tell me what you think about this. Not clue how you could implement this tho... Also I have enough to do already so feel free to take this idea!11
Not sure if a rant but.
How many of you guys gets so bored durning meetings on all the none important stuff or not related to you that you just start codeing instead?
I have these hours long meetings with analist that can talk calculations all dat long, how usefull they are, wich analyses you can do for them. I really don't care. Just tell me the formula and I will make it. Do not care whether A is voltage or the amount of pink clouds on sunday.3
CLIENT: My wordpress site runs really slowly, can you fix it?
Me: Yeah sure, let me have a look.
*logs in and sees Facebook feeds, twitter feeds, 3 seo plugins, 5 backup generators, 4 slider plugins, jscomposer, social sharing buttons and loads more*
Me: Do you realise that you don't need that many plugins?
Client : well they make my site really fancy and my customers love it.
Using git without a GUI is like biking blind-folded. Sure you can do it but it's way easier if you see what's going on.28
TL;DR : vim or IDE ? What's best in your opinion ?
I've always been curious about vim but haven't find enough motivation to learn it. I don't know why but today I felt double plus curious, but having learn to code on IDEs (except for C, because I find CodeBlocks quite wacky) from the start, I'm not sure I could let go features like autocompletion, refactor and code analysis.
If you use vim, do you use it for all your coding or do you just use it in some case ?
If you use it for all your coding, how do you make for the absent features ? Is the use of plugins enough or do you just pass on them ?
Also, first post on devRant !12
So I have a dual boot Windows 10 / Ubuntu 16.04.
This evening, I finally decided to update Ubuntu to 17.10.
Note to self, never try to install Ubuntu from the live usb when trying the "demo", prefer to install on boot, because this fucker encountered an error, forced me to reboot then decided to occupy the whole disk and wipe Windows out.
I'm sure that Ubuntu 17.10 was made by DevRant, that's totally something you guys could do 😂5
Fucking RetroPie ‘community’ are so protective of their little distro that any criticism of UI/UX is met with “maybe it’s just not for you”.
Sure, it is clearly the most perfect software, without a single flaw.
The fact that it does not automatically set up an Xbox controller when attached is purely because everyone *prefers* to do this manually.6
Python: I heard you like importing stuff explicitly, so I made sure you had to import every mother-fucking thing you need. Even the things that you obviously need and couldn't possibly do anything without.
What's that? You want more import statements than actual code? Look no further than Python, my friend. At least it scales, amirite?
Do you think anyone at Google has ever used a mouse to scroll through Google calendar? I don't - otherwise, they'd see that it's unbearable. That API sure is great, though.
Those working as freelancer, how many times has a potential client told you that if you do this job for cheap he would refer you in his business circle and you would for sure get atleast X projects in next quarter ?4
marquetting department: i need a new for on the website its urgent drop everithing else
dev: sure can you give me the text and the fields that should be on the form?
....1 week later
dev: do you havr the info
marketing: can you have ot online today
dev: yes just get me that content
.... you know where im going with this
-Week before final project presentation.
Classmate: Dude, can you help me for our project? Its website.
Me: Sure, what you used?
Classmate: ASP. NET
Me: Ok....I don't know much about it but let me see.
Classmate: No, I just want your help with flowchart, sequence diagram and use case diagram.
*in mind: how the fuck m supposed to do that shit I don't even know much about your website*
(still I drew few basic flowcharts for them)
A former colleague sent my resume to a bunch of companies and a recruiter from one of them sent me a super generic email saying thanks for your interest in the open position, can you do a phone call? I said sure, would love to discuss software developer internship openings. 1 hour before the call, he sends me a JD for a regular full-time business analyst position and says he wants to discuss that position. SIGH. DUDE, I WANT TO CODE.1
Can you recommend me any 13 inch notebooks. I want to buy a notebook to use as my main workstation.
I mostly do web / Android development but also looking to get more into ML so a good graphics card would be good. I will put linux on it but I am not sure about the distro yet.4
To all the front-end engineers here I have a question. Say I am trying to create reusable CSS web components how do you create them? Shadow Dom?.
If not then how do you make sure the custom elements that you create can be resued in other projects?8
Client: How many days do you need for this project
Me: 6 months
Client: That's too much. I researched and found that it shouldn't consume more than 3 months
Me: I'm sure you didn't researched on gradle building process (-_-)
On a project that will crash and burn due to a badly projected date given to the business. I'm team lead and the Developement manager. I'm not sure how to save my career from this one. 22 years at this company and this may end my employment.
Can't change the date because the business has had it with deployment failures. Not enough time to do any of the technical debt and I'm not sure one if the issues has a solution.
Time to create a resume I guess. Been a really long time.
Let me know if you want a developer in Des Moines!2
¿Why people hate PHP so much? I love it since it was my first web dev lang and I fell in love with it, however, I decided to move to another language since apparently It's going to die, not saying tomorrow but eventually. I'm not sure which language to pick (between Python (django, pyramid), Elixir (Phoenix) or Ruby (RoR). Any suggestions?
Also, what language you use and do you like PHP?5
Oh, me? I am so excited about all the computing power that's gonna be stolen from people who had updated their Intel CPUs last month.
I dunno what they're up to but I'm sure it's very exciting. I'm lost between Skynet and a one world government cryptocurrency mining they will use the power for.
What do you think?3
BA: "Can you design a page for this?"
me (not a designer): "Um, sure, no problem."
Fast forward two days, show the page for approval.
PM: "Hey, can we do it as a pop-up instead?"
Do you use personal assistants for home automation? If yes, what's your setup?
I'm thinking about setting up a RPi/similar with Jasper and bundling it up with Home Assistant, however, I'm not sure about the audio hardware yet.3
PM here. I'm having an interview with prospective junior devs next week. I want to make sure that they know a little and can learn a lot. Do you guys have any suggestions of how to ascertain that? I'm thinking simple programming exercises or something.
Again, it's not that important what they know today.15
How do you make up new cool features for your platform?
well you don't because UX and PM think it best to look at competitors and implement whatever shit they come up with.
once, someone came up with a cool feature and some basic prototype for it and they ignored it. the competitor thought of it years later and did it. when they did it, suddenly its a priority at our company to do it as well.
sure, why be the first to do the feature. im sure being unique and creative is overrated not like our profit comes from user subscriptions.
Some recent PM decisions similar to the one above are driving me crazy, its not like u dont know what to do we literally have a ton of ideas so stop ignoring them and prioritizing being a knock off app of someone else. FUCK YOU.
Had trouble to connect to our MySQL database, so I decided to open a ticket to the Database admins. At least they are pros and I'm sure they'll help me:
"Hey guys, I have trouble connecting to [Hostname]. I guess it's a firewalling issue would you take a look? Attached are screenshots, saying hostname not found.
Hey Dominique, are you sure the password you used is correct? Is it yours or the sysuser pw what you sent to the server? How did you send it?
Me: (kind of confused) Hey dear admin, did you look at my error message? It says Hostname not found. What do you think how I provided any credentials?
Support: yes, I saw your screenshot and don't see any password entry. That's why I asked!
Me: Well, than... ok... go and search for another job. Yeah and consider fucking yourself. Kisses.
How realistic is it to expect a single developer to build a site that functions like booking.com or similar online hotel booking system from scratch? Doesn't have to be on par with those popular sites.
Is this something you would be able to do alone?
I got asked about doing it and I haven't responded a clear yes or no. I'm not sure if I'm under estimating the technical difficulty.7
Thought: Googling and using Stack Overflow is the fast food equivalent of coding. Sure you get an answer, but it's the minimal "nutritional value" you need to survive. Whereas if you had to go through the whole doc to do something, you were bound to stumble on a few things you didn't know, giving you much more knowledge in the end. Does that make sense?3
Got my “Certificate” for SQL. What do you think? I have a few other just not sure if this means jack squat despite it being a free “certification”.9
Co-worker: So if you were to build a glove like what Ultron had that could levitate objects how would you do it?
Me: I'm not sure, but I'd begin by looking at the work Ed Leedskalin was doing in Florida.
Co-worker: Of course you have a possible lead on this...
For sure you know people who ask you like "hey, you do something with computer, right? I have a problem with my (insert random device here)."
Of course I am looking forward doing so! I was playing with jboss and oracle all the day and like to do more computer stuff! Yes, today, I know it is important because your mom can't play candy crush right now...
No! Stop! After fixing PCs for nearly free in my spare time, I am blocking all these questions now and focus on doing things i like in my spare time. Are you still fixing other people's stuff for free? Stop it. Enjoy life!2
Allright, so.. 3 (sort of 4) dev projects at work (7 roles in total), 2 (sort of 3) DEV projects at home, 2 guys approaching to me via messenger w/ DEV/Linux questions, family (with a baby), construction works in the apartment, taking care of the farmstead,...
Whenever you ask "what do you do", I'm not even sure where to start.
Whenever you call me with "Hello, I'm calling from company X, do you have some time to answer a few questions" I sort of want to hit someone really hard before answering "yes, sure".
Dad: Hey, how do I make a program work when it's not working?
Me: Guess what, I've looking for the answer to that exact same question for a while now, but I still haven't found it. I'll make sure to tell you when I do.
(Clarification: He's not a dev, he was actually talking about some 10 year old version of some program not launching in Windows 10)
In this project we're working on, there are so many abbreviations for so many things.
+ "Hey, can you help me test XXX through YYY API?"
- "Sure. But may i ask, what do XXX and YYY actually stand for?"
+ "Well, no one knows"
So people can work on something for months without really knowing the name of what they're working on. Good to know.4
Microsoft Teams logic when using it from Chrome on Linux:
Wanna have a team call with multiple people? Sure no problem, proceed.
Wanna have a direct call with one person? Hell no, we don't do that here!
Also lets just ignore the fact that you are actually running Google Chrome, you should really try out Windows and Edge.1
Prediction: One of the things Microsoft will do to GitHub is to remove gh-pages and make sure you can host stuff on azure, since gh-pages only supports html files, so with azure, you can host a server-sided app.1
Programmer friend: Dood, do this and this and show it to me, I'll say if it's good.
Me (noob): Okay, sure.
F: So why did you stop coding?
M: Why do you think so?
F: You didn't show me your project in a week.
M: I was lazy?
HOW THE FUCK IS THIS LEGAL?! This isn't even their fucking research! So much of this was either done decades before they existed, or done by others. In the first place, since when can you patent fucking math?! Sure we haven't seen the full patents but they should focus on specific implementations if anything and the titles clearly do not reflect that.
So much for "don't be evil", fuck Google
Lesson learned. As a newbie to git and vcs in general, always verify a rebase to make sure you didn't accidentally delete your last days work before force pushing and overwriting the company repository. Also, don't get into a situation where you need to do that in the first place.
I have a huge axe to grind about companies sending me emails I have not consented to. Sometimes they have a checkbox for it, which I always, ALWAYS make sure I do not check. Sometimes they just add you automatically as soon as you enter your email adress.
Sometimes the 'Unsubscribe' link leads to a dead page, or just doesn't work.
And sometimes... They send you a bunch of emails to let you know they will absolutely stop sending you emails 😑
Why. Why? WHY? WHYYYYY?!?!?
Why are so many, even otherwise respected and very customer satisfaction minded companies so disgustingly cavalier or downright dirty about emails?
Even after this whole GDPR thing!1
For the new/aspiring developers:
1. If you are still looking to learn more, but you don't know where to go, start brainstorming. Make a list of projects you could make and sort them by difficulty. Put the ones you could do now at the top of the list, and the ones you aren't sure how to do yet, at the bottom of the list. As you go through them, if you want to do something but aren't sure how, just hop onto an irc chat and everyone will be glad to help. As you go through the projects, your logic and program design skills should improve, as well as your knowledge of programming.
2. Put comments in your code. Seriously. If you are working on a project and suddenly stop working on it for a week or more, you will go back to look at that code and be extremely confused. If you are making something open source, its even more important. If people can understand the code, they are more likely to contribute to it.
3. Try not to focus on code for too long. The longer you work, the more tired your brain gets. Eventually you get tired and make really stupid decisions in your code.
4. Don't code while tired (look at #3)
5. If you are writing code as an assignment, make sure to rename all variables to proper names before submitting it. The instructor will likely not be pleased to see variable names with the f-bomb in them.
So, school is starting tomorrow. And to be honest I am glad, unlike those poor lazy ones who happen to act as if they have more important things to do and education is not for them.
It’s the 21 century morons, sure it doesn’t have to be a regular education. But you are not gonna achieve any without proper study. Unless you wanna be a carpenter or sth, oh even that is being automated now days...6
What annoys my the most in gaming, is when gamers refer to cheaters as "hackers". THEY AREN'T. They are SCRIPT KITTIES. I'm sure most of us here would consider ourselves hackers, and we can all agree that hacking takes time, motivation, and most of all, skill. Cheaters in video games are the lowest of the low. The just download and install scripts written by real hackers. This triggers me beyond words and all caps. What do you all think?7
How do you switch from testing while debugging (functional) to TDD unit tests?
Usually I test while coding by just running the use case and making sure while coding, bad inputs are caught/handled.
But most times I start with a general idea of the structure and what the about should be (which essentially would be the functional test case?)
I don't think about how you can break each part or the functions I need until I need them. Then usually start simple and then refactor. And until I'm sure each time I refactor would require changing the tests?4
Which Programming Laptop do you recommend? It should be light, thin and 13". My budget is 1800$. My current favorite would be a Macbook Pro but I was always a Windows kinda guy so I'm not really sure...37
Well I would say a pretty humbling experience was my last job interview where my new boss and hr guy were truly shared by my skills and then the first day at work where my boss said please do this decision, I really need an opinion by an experienced developer like you as I am not sure which one is the better one.1
Architect: Oh hey Zaphod65, let me know when you're in. Some strangeness in [system], ta
Me: Already here actually [Archtect], what's up?
Architect: oh hi well let me do a little more digging. it may be in frontend
Why? Why do I *care* if you haven't even made sure it's my fault yet?!1
"You'll be doing X, and be sure to test everything you do. But we don't do unit testing. They aren't paying us for that."
- PM to intern coming via college (it's like a forced internship that counts as another subject for the degree).1
Me: „we are going to reschedule the standup to 11pm“
Coworker: „Ok, sure thing“
Me: „You might want to set yourself a reminder so you do not forget it?“
Coworker: „No worries, I got this“
Me @ 11pm: „Where the hell is he?“
I'm asked by a friend (writer)
F : dude, why you coder guys always show off ?
F : you guys compile just after writing few pages ..... Isn't it show off ?
M: yeah we do ...... to make sure the targeted users will not face any problem.....
F : that's the show off....... Have you seen any one publish a novel book with 2-6 page to make sure that targeted readers don't have any problems ......
This url brings to error page with invalid email address that will actually autoreply "We're writing to let you know that the group you tried to contact (do-bug) may not exist, or you may not have permission to post messages to the group. A few more details on why you weren't able to post"
Okay, sure. This may happen to indie stuff etc.
But we are talking about bigass company thats fucking trying to assasinate steam (and so far kindda fails). You dont want to show customers error messages, sure, but at least, if you do it, and you tell your customer to send email to admin, make fucking sure that you provide an actually fucking working email. Is it so hard?
No wonder they cant conquer steam. And thats positive side3
I really want to learn Go, but I'm not sure where to start! devRanters who are also Gophers, what tools/resources do you recommend for a beginner?5
Do you all sometimes have this strange feeling, that.. actually humanity would not lose anything, if we killed all that useless tech we earn our money with?
Yeah, we get all that propaganda how technical prowess is empowering and sure we all know it's a nice feeling if you can apply the right clicks and bit flips to make the machine do as you want so you feel like the apprentice's sorcerer.
BUT even if you believe your user story adds some business value to some abstract package - what do these devices mostly do? Distract, diffuse your focus, envy other eye-porn provider, endless aberration of clips.
Fuck social media!
(Yes, I know I am on one, but this is because I haven't given up hope on this one.)6
Getting absolut frustrated when the bug fix you implemented does not work no matter what you do and how many times you do it, making sure its done correctly.
- Rebooted the machine.
great, and that was that day at the office.1
Sure just interrupt me constantly all day, I don't have anything important to do.
"Can you provide an estimate when X will be done?"
"Can you estimate how many questions my colleagues will have?"
Not even just interns. My god.1
"Can you make this quick change?"
"Yeah, but I'll need to change every page this thing is on and you told me this other project I'm working on is high-priority. Are you sure you want me to do this?" (Also this is a change you're capable of making yourself...)
"It shouldn't take too long, we need this done."
...if I thought it wouldn't take long, I wouldn't have brought it up.
It is ok to fail and commit mistakes, that's part of the game, specially for beginner devs. Just avoid failing alone, the most you can!
- Ask people to review your code before pushing to the source repository.
- If you are not sure how to do, ask.
- Never work in production environments without supervision. Pair with someone.
- Have a desk mate for rubberducking (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/...) and blame it in case you need
Learning C++ in university for all three years. They have decided that teaching only one language is good and that once you know one language you can pick them all up.
Not sure how true this is... also sick of the lecturer saying "In the real world you would not do it this way but" I wish university's would just teach real life skills and not how to pass a test. What am I spending £9000 a year on....
Anyway rant over5
Do you always make sure to understand the basics/fundamentals of a technique/solution/tool/.. you're using ?
I don't do it all the time and I feel that it's something I should do more often (or always?).3
Horizontal scrolling in PowerPoint does… something to the document, not exactly sure what, but it makes it so that I don't see it anymore and if I made changes, they're usually lost. Why, Microsoft? Why do you keep doing this to me?1
A long time ago I used to use Tresorit with free plan, they had back then. But...I stopped as I started to use GIT more and there just wasn't enough storage (5GB) in the free plan to upload photos.
Now I am thinking about using it again but I am not sure. Do you use Tresorit now? Is it good service?
I want privacy, that is it, do not recommend shit like GDrive or Dropbox,...3
Do any of you wonderful devRanters know of good links that cover the topic of best practises when deploying a React/Redux (or any modern web app) to production?
I’m pretty sure I have found all the boxes to check through personal experience but maybe there are tips out there I am unaware of.
From civil background, not sure about internal system architectures.
Question: how does cpu switches between processes ?
Ans: how the f I know? Do I really need to know, internally!
Explained a bit.
He was like you are the one who are going to use kafka, not the one who are going to write kafka.
I was like devasted.5
My manager keeps asking if there is something he can do to that can speed things up for us devs (there has been a lot of work.. a lot)
I was thinking about asking for hardware upgrade (apart from other processes related stff).... Want to get SSD but not sure if it would be beneficial enough.
What do you guy think?3
Did some webdesign, not sure yet of how I want to continue, navbar is done & responsive, so that's something. The hero banner looks kinda empty though... What do you folks think of it ?6
In the beginning, even those who are remotely involved with the task/project want to contribute to it. Over the time, as they realise that there is some serious work to do, one by one the turn quiet and drop out.
But as soon as you take action to make sure that the whole thing is going to work out in the end, they come back complaining because they feel that you went over their heads.
me: Mum, Dad I want to a developer like [my older brother's name]
mum: I don't know what you guys do anyway. just make sure to be the best at it.
dad: Good luck, don't forget to start your own company soon enough.
Me: *ask well detailed questions around Ruby on Rails and responses in JSON that won't fucking work because I don't know how to make it work my way*
Someone : *Answers*
Me: *tests the solution. Nothing works, his ruby syntax is from 1995, and it doesn't help me
Me: "Sorry but there's a syntax error in your answer, I don't know how to make your answer work. Plus, how should I edit my json.jbuilder file with your answer?
Dude: " I am not a RoR developer by trade, I just know how HTTP works :)"
WE ARE BOTH FUCKING LOOSING TIME HERE YOU FUCKING MORON
Same dude: " I don't see any of that in your code and I'm not sure what you want to edit? Seems to me like you don't really need to, but I'm not sure"
YOU ARE NOT A FUCKING ROR DEVELOPER, YOU SAID IT YOURSELF, SO WHY DO YOU KEEP BOTHERING?
(n.b. : I litteraly pasted his two last answer. Didn't edit anything)
What font size do you normally use for programming?
I've been using 12-14px for years, but I switched to 16px for the last couple of hours. Feels weird but I kinda like it.
Sure, you do lose some real estate but it feels like it's way easier for the eyes. Less physical strain == less mental strain, which in turn makes for higher quality code.
Also, selecting stuff is more satisfying, but that's probably just me since I'm weird ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
I somehow highly doubt the effectiveness of this treatment... if it did work I'm pretty sure we would all have baby faces with the amount of RF signals we're exposed to in a day. Do you think there is any legitimacy to this claim?4
Do the design first and make sure you get it reviewed!! If the reviewer is always too busy to look at your design, remind them that you can't start the actual coding until they do the review and go over it with you. And be open to their suggestions, it may save time later down the line.
Common Docker for Windows! Are you serious? What in heavens name could you do wrong to loose access to your own ducking database?! And as if that's not enough there comes the internet in the form of Google telling me that I'm the only idiot with this problem. Sure sure. Gnarf.5
What I tell every Admin Padawan and I hope it will help you, too...
Whatever you do on any system, always make sure you know and are able to revert your changes so you can return to the last working system state.
It is basically somewhat similar to "always have a backup". But it goes much further in my opinion because it also implies that you know for certain that a recovery works as well since:
"Nobody wants backup, everybody wants recovery"
I know devrant is not the place to ask this but I didn't know what else to do....I very often have doubts about weather I like programming or not even when I started learning programming 2 years ago...Does this imply that I don't really like it? Because I believe that if you really like something than you don't have doubts about it but am not sure if I am correct or not.8
I've been in the industry (developer for Finance, backend, quant stuff) for 5 years, and I was thinking to starting looking for a remote developer position in a couple of years.
Do you have any advice? Shall I start studying something? I'm proficient with C++, python and C#, but mainly for numerical algorithms, but I'm sure I can learn other stuff.6
okay so i want some suggestions from you people, basically i am undergraduate, highly interested in web development as well as software development, i have created some web apps(i use MEAN stack). i want to become an open source contributor and i am not sure how to do that. I have tried going to different github repos but it was of no help. So any suggestions on what to do and how to do is welcome5
This is not a rant. Rather just a question or an ask for advice, as I have seen a lot of people talk about web development around here. I am planning to create a website for my search engine. I created a Rest API for my VPS so I can do http requests and retrieve some links for certain key words. But I need some good ideas to do this from a website. As I am not sure what would be the best way to do http requests. As far as I know it's possible with Js and PHP, but I am not sure what's better, more secure or convenient? So here I am to ask you guys, especially those who have experience with this, what I should consider to do.
Oh and please forgive me my limited knowledge about Js and PHP 😅😊3
tariner and coworker: when getting a dto lets make sure to get the object by a query before the function then pass only the object found
<couple of lines later>
see her the thing again....
me: this function you did it.
tariner and coworker: um.....mmmmm.
yeah this thing is wrong you should never do this...
(as if he made a mistake and covering it by telling me not to do it)
Recently I've been thinking about doing some PHP freelancing to get some extra cash, but I'm not exactly sure where to start. I used to do freelancing before but those kind of jobs were from friends and former colleagues who contacted me.
So how do you get started with a client base of zero? I have looked at sites like freelancer.com but it seems like the majority of those projects want something for very little, or you get underbid by someone else.1
How would you implement a system that allow people to share a product that's normally one price but because of the referral there is a discount. Oh and the discount is supposed to based which country you live in.
Right now the whole system runs on the honor system and a little front end verification. How do I clean up this mess??
Sure getting the user's location could work until they use a vpn. I don't really know what to do here.3
[POLL] How do you develop stuff?
1 - just write code. It doesn't need to be organized, it just need to work how you thought it would, and THEN you start organizing things, like editing/creating new files, letting things DRY, optimizing the sutff you did earlier;
2 - you surgically write code, making sure you keep everything is organized from the beginning. Basically you only write when you are sure.
Or maybe it's a blend between the two or something.
I'm asking because I do like the #1 and I feel uncomfortable when people see my code when it's under development. It's a mess, there are tons of comments everywhere and a bunch of repetition. But, when I find the right stuff, I start writing modules to make my code work better, remove unnecessary things, add documentation, and so on.
My development process is not the best of the best, but I get things done with it.7
Guys, can any of you give me objective insights whether switching from Ubuntu + Windows to MacBook will be worth it?
I'd really love to be able to use designing tools like Photoshop and Illustrator while doing web development works at the same time, but I'm not sure whether it's worth the price. What do you think?5
I recently started a Java blog
Right now i just wrote some blog entries with rather small content. But I am not sure if in-depth entrys would be more valuable. Do you prefer blogs with small pieces of information oder in-depth content?
Feel free to have a look
I am really not sure about this, so I wanted to ask, do you guys post online on Medium or Dev.to and how was your experience with your first post? I wanna start doing it, but I've got no clue what to write about. Any suggestions?15
"If a feature or product were legitimately easy the user would not be writing in to support about how stuck they are. Sure, some percentage of users will find questions to ask about any interface. But do you want to start the conversation by assuming the user falls into that percentage? You venture to learn much more if you assume the software is wrong, not the user." - Andrew Spittle
You guys sure know Angular/React/Vue, but have you ever heard of Mithril?
I guess it's a good light weight framework compared to Angular, React or Vue.
What do you guys think?3
Ideas for future weekly questions:
What's your favourite dev tech?
What's your favourite non-dev tech?
What do you think about privacy regulations in your country?
Story about maintaining / working with /refactoring legacy code.
Also, if you get in inspired by a questions suggested by someone, make sure to give credit where due! It would be awesome to see who's question we're answering.
I'm still in high school, but want to have a good resume going. What format do you use for your internship? I have a website, I'm just not sure how to present my skills.2
Do your research on the company you're applying for, and make sure they can give you the proper learning environment and experience. If they can't, fuhget about it. You gotta end up in the right place.1
Not a rant, but a question: I'm currently learning to develop for the web through freecodecamp. They decided some time ago to change their curriculum from Angular to React, kinda moving away from the MEAN set of technologies. Now that Angular 2 is out and looking good, I'm not sure if I should stick to their curriculum or learn it in place of React. What do you guys think?5
I probably got an internship for this summer and I'm really really excited for it.
However, I've juste finished my first year of CS and it's my first internship and it makes me really scared that I'll be unable to do anything. Like sure I know OOP and how to code, but what will I do in a business?
Do you have any tips or so? It would help me a lot, I really want to do it well.3
[Want to Ask]
Some times ago I read about ikigai (http://theviewinside.me/what-is-you...). Yet I'm still not sure what I want to do for the rest of my life. I'm a teacher. I love teaching programming. But lately I'm not sure anymore.
I know, this `ikigai` or `purpose-of-life` thing would be very different among individuals.
In case of you don't mind, and in case of you already find a single thing answering these 4 questions:
– What is something you love doing?
– That the world needs?
– That you are good at?
– And that you can be paid for?
Please, share your answer by commenting this rant.
No, why would you make sure your not working with a database over a year old. Totally our fault, we're jackasses for telling you to do it over again.
hey, how do you keep up with the migration files and git branches, i name them, how do you make sure the current branch has latest migration files so it does not break your application :)2
If you're working remotely- like a whole other country/continent- do you have to give taxes for the country the company is in?
Context. Got a "job". Not sure if I'll take it full time but for now I will be getting some backpay so I want to know everything before deciding and planning
Right now in my country I don't have to pay taxes so I want to know if that still stands3
So I'm trying to port forward my PS4. But the problem is, I'm on boingo wireless. You can't access router settings because of "security reasons". I do have Linux and wondering if there's a way to do it using the terminal. Maybe ssh? Already tried iptables, but also could have just done it wrong. I'm not sure how I could do this considering we're not supposed to be able to.6
I think I found a way to audit college courses without paying for them. Find someone that is taking the courses and get paid doing their homework (for cheap/free). Make sure they take good notes and provide access to all materials. Do their homework of course. If taken to the extreme you could have a CS/CE/Math background while possibly making money on the deal. Any time you want to take a course you advert that you will do the homework. You could even wrangle the victim to record the lectures so you can reference as needed.
At the end you won't have a degree, but will be able to do everything the degree demands.
Obviously there are issues with this, one being a moral issue.4
Hey guys. I have been thinking about learning to code to Android using a native language, but I am not sure it would be worth it, since I already know React Native...
What do you guys think ? Should a guy that already develops with React Native learn native development ?4
I'm currently doing my college internship at a company where the working hours are from 8 am till 5 pm. I was suprised by the hours because it feels so long. I was wondering what hour do you guys work and does every company use these hours? I live in Belgium. I'm not sure how it is in other countries. Thanks!6
I have been tired of everything for a couple of years and thought it is temporary and it will go away. But today I discovered there is a thing called Chronic fatigue syndrome.
Fellow developers, if you are experiencing similar symptoms mentioned in the wiki, make sure you visit a doctor; trust me, this permanent state of fatigue will not go away.
I just made an appointment to doctor and urge you to do the same!1
I am in final year in computer science and i have to do a license. I know for sure it will be something about networking( not programming)(I am junior sysadmin in a company, i told you that so you can make an idea about the field). I did not find any great idea until now. Can you help me with some ideas? Thank you.
Was that a good idea to use unicode symbols in a terminal UI application?
I thought that it'd be okay since TUI library is using unicode for drawing borders. But I'm not sure.
What do you guys say?8
Has anyone found a bug in Paypal site? I sent them an email about their incomplete looking page and they want me to upload screenshot and the sourcecode. I don't mind the screenshot but sourcecode? I'm not sure since I wouldn't know what the sourcecode includes. Would you ever do it?8
I feel stupid when I can't use VIM. Not sure if that's too bad or too good.
Do you feel the same? Writing jkhl in your code? Or :w to save your documents or emails?1
What do you have: a "dev" or a "workplace" directory in your home? I always had a "dev" for my projects and I think I'm not alone, but I can't be sure10
Want to send an email? Sure thing, how about you configure first a DKIM, DMARC, SPF and some reverse DNS. Otherwise your mail can go fuck itself, because it won't even make it to the spam folder. Even if you do all these time consuming fuckwit tasks I might just mark your mail as spam. Because fuck you, that's why.
Sending mail to Gmail in a nutshell.2
Okay, so basically.
I would like to learn programming and I'm not yet sure of what I should do.
You know hacking or become a web Dev or something to do with AI. I'm very interested in anything programming and I don't like what they teach me in college and I need a few suggestions of what are the languages that I need to learn to get really going.11
A question for the experienced devs out there.
When you are the only one working on an application, how do you make sure that it is secure?1
"I have a lot of experience with 'Programs'."
- A customer, referring to our flagship equipment automation, and data acquisition/processing software suite.
I've been thinking about something I saw a while ago, but I can't remember the name so I came to this marvellous place to ask: what do you call live code editing?
E.g. When you're running your program and can change the code on the fly without restarting your program. I'm sure this is application-specific, but I've seen it done with the godly Java.3